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Gil Blas axd the Actons.
p. 172.
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THE
ADVENTURES
GIL B L A S
SANTILLANE.
TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH OF LESAGE,
By TOBIAS SMOLLETT.
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PHILADELPHIA :
PORTER & COATES,
MEMOIK OF THE AUTHOR
The French have nothing in their language comparable to Gil
Bias ; but the memory of the author has been consigned to a very
few scanty notices.
Alain Rene Le Sage was born, according to one of his bio-
graphers, in 1677, at Ruys, in Brittany ; or according to another, in
1668, at Vannes. At the age of twenty-five he came to Paris, with
a view to study philosophy. He made himself first known by a
paraphrastic translation of the Letters of Aristenetus. He then
travelled through Spain, and applied to the study of the Spanish
language, customs and writers; from whom he adopted plots and
fables, and transfused them into his native tongue with great facil-
ity and success. His works of this kind are, Guzman de Alfarache ;
the Bachelor of Salamanca; Gil Bias; New Adventures of Don
Quixote, originally written by Avellaneda; the Devil on Two
Sticks; and some others of less note. Of the Devil on Two Sticks,
we are told that the first edition had amazing success, and the second
sold with still greater rapidity. Two noblemen, coming to the book-
seller's, found only one single copy remaining, which each was for
purchasing ; and the dispute grew so warm that they were going
to decide it by the sword, had not the bookseller interposed.
He was also distinguished for some dramatic pieces, of which
Crispin and Turcaret, both comedies, were the most successful, and
allowed to fall very little short of the genius of Moli^re. He com-
posed also many pieces for the comic opera.
It was his custom to read his plays in certain fashionable circles,
before they were publicly represented. On one of these occasions,
when engaged to read a piece at the Duchess de Bouillon's, an
(iii)
iv MEMOIR OF THE A VTHOR.
unexpected affair detained him till a considerable time after the
appointed hour. The duchess, on his entrance, pleasantly reproached
him for having made the company lose two hours in waiting for
him. " If I have made them lose them," said Le Sage, " nothing
can be more easy than to recover them. I will not read my play ;"
and immediately took his leave ; nor could any invitation induce
him to visit the duchess a second time.
He had several children, the eldest of whom was long a distin-
guished actor on the French stage, under the name of Montmenil ;
and was a man of irreproachable character. He died suddenly
while partaking of the pleasures of the chase, Sept. 8, 1743.
His death was a severe loss to his father, who was now grown old,
and had been poorly rewarded by the age which he contributed so
often to entertain. He was likewise at this time very deaf, and
obliged to have recourse to an ear-trumpet. This infirmity depriv-
ing Le Sage of the most rational pleasures of society, he retired to
Boulogne-sur-mer, in the cathedral of which one of his sons held a
canonry ; and although of an advanced age, he left the metropolis
of taste, literature and gayety with considerable regret. He did not
enjoy his retirement long, being cut off by a severe illness, Nov. 17,
1747, in his eightieth year. He was interred at Boulogne, with the
following epitaph :
Sous ce'tombeau git Le Sage, abattu
Par le ciseau de la Parque importune :
S'il ne fut pas ami de la Fortune,
n fut toujours ami de la Vertu.
His character is said to have been truly amiable: he was free
from ambition, and courted fortune no farther than was necessary
to enjoy the pleasures and quiet of a literary life.
Of all his works, that now presented to the reader is by far the
most popular, and deservedly ranks very high among the productions
of historical fancy. It has been, we believe, translated into every
European language, and received in all nations as a faithful portrait
of human nature. Few books have been so frequently quoted, as
affording happy illustrations of general manners, and of the com-
mon caprices and infirmities incident to man. " Le Sage," says Dr.
Moore, " proves himself to have been intimately acquainted with
human nature."
THE AUTHOR'S DECLARATION.
There are some people in the world so mischievous as not to
read a work without applying the vicious or ridiculous characters
it may happen to contain to eminent or popular individuals.
I protest publicly against the pretended discovery of any such
liknesses. My purpose was to represent human life historically as
it exists. God forbid that I should hold myself out as a portrait-
painter. Let not the reader, then, take to himself public property,
for if he does, he may chance to throw an unlucky light on his
Own character : as Phsedrus expresses it, Stult^ nudabit animi con-
scientiam.
Certain physicians of Castille, as well as of France, are some-
times a little too fond of trying the bleeding and lowering system
on their patients. Vices, their patrons, and their dupes, are of
every day's occurrence. To be sure, I have not always adopted
Spanish manners with scrupulous exactness ; and in the instance
of the players at Madrid, those who know their disorderly modes of
living may reproach me with softening down their coarser traits ;
but this I have been induced to do from a sense of delicacy, and in
conformity with the manners of my own country.
(▼)
GIL BLAS TO THE READER
Reader 1 hark you, my friend I Do not begin the story of my
life till I have told you a short tale.
Two students travelled together from Penafiel to Salamanca.
Finding themselves tired and thirsty, they stopped by the side of a
spring on the road. While they were resting there after having
quenched their thirst, by chance they espied on a stone near them,
even with the ground, part of an inscription, in some degree effaced
by time, and by the tread of flocks in the habit of watering al that
spring. Having washed the stone, they were able to trace these
words in the dialect of Castille : Aqui estd encerrada el alma del licen-
ciado Pedro Garcias. " Here lies interred the soul of the licentiate
Peter Garcias."
" Hey-day !" roars out the younger, a lively, heedless fellow, who
could not get on with his deciphering for laughter: " This is a good
joke indeed : * Here lies interred the soul.' ... A soul interred I
... I should like to know the whimsical author of this ludicrous
epitaph." With this sneer he got up to go away. His companion,
who had more sense, said within himself: " Underneath this stone
lies some mystery ; I will stay and see the end of it. Accordingly,
he let his comrade depart, and without loss of time began digging
round about the stone with his knife till he got it up. Under it he
found a purse of leather, containing a hundred ducats, with a card
on which were written these words in Latin : " Whoever thou art
who hast wit enough to discover the meaning of the inscription, I
appoint thee my heir, in the hope thou wilt make a better use of my
fortune than I have done !" The student, out of his wits at the
discovery, replaced the stone in its former position, and set out
(vii)
VMl
GIL BLAS TO THE READER.
again on the Salamanca road with the soul of the licentiate in his
pocket.
Now, my goou friend and reader, no matter who you are, you
must be like one or the other of these two students. If you cast
your eye over my adventures without fixing it on the moral con-
cealed under them, you will derive very little benefit from the
perusal : but if you read with attention you will find that mixture
of the useful with the a^eeable, so successfully prescribed by
Horace.
COITTE^TS.
BOOK I.
PAOK
Chap. 1.— The birth and education of Gil Bias, 17
Chap. 2. — Gil Bias' alarm on his road to Pegnaflor ; his adventures
on his arrival in that town ; and the character of the
men with whom he supped, 19
Chap. 3. — The muleteer's temptation on the road ; its consequences,
and the situation of Gil Bias between Scylla and Cha-
rybdis, 25
Chap. 4. — Description of the subterraneous dwelling and its contents, . 28
Chap. 5. — Arrival of the banditti in the subterraneous retreat, with
an account of their pleasant convei-sation, . . .30
Chap. 6. — The attempt of Gil Bias to escape, and its success, . . 35
Chap. 7.— Gil Bias, not being able to do what he likes, does what he
can, .38
Chap. 8. — Gil Bias goes out with the gang, and performs an exploit
on the highway, 39
Chap. 9. — A more serious incident, 42
Chap. 10. — The lady's treatment from the robbers. The result of the
great design conceived by Gil Bias, 43
Chap. 11. — The history of Donna Mencia de Mosquera, . . .48
Chap. 12. — A disagreeable interruption, 53
Chap. 13. — The lucky means by which Gil Bias escaped from prison,
and his travels afterwards, 56
Chap. 14. — Donna Mencia's reception of him at Burgos, . . .59
Chap. 15. — Gil Bias dresses himself to more advantage, and receives a
second present from the lady. His equipage on setting
out from Burgos,
Chap. 16.— Showing that prosperity will slip through a man's fingers, . 65
Chap. 17.— The measures Gil Bias took after the adventure of the
ready-furnished lodging, 70
62
BOOK 11.
Chap. 1.— Fabricio introduces Gil Bias to the Licentiate S^dillo, and
procures him a reception. The domestic economy of that
clergyman. Picture of his houHekeejjer, . . • '77
(ix)
X CONTENTS.
PAGK
Chap. 2. — The canon's illness; his treatment; the consequence; the
legacy to Gil Bias, 81
Chap, 3. — Gil Bias enters into Doctor Sangrado's service, and becomes
a famous practitioner, 85
Chap. 4. — Gil Bias goes on practicing physic with equal success and
ability. Adventure of the recovered ring, ... .90
Chap. 5. — Sequel of the foregoing adventure. Gil Bias retires from
practice, and from the neighborhood of Valladolid, . . 97
Chap. 6. — His route from Valladolid, with a description of his fellow-
traveller, 102
Chap. 7. — The journeyman barber's story, 104
Chap. 8. — The meeting of Gil Bias and his companion with a man
soaking crusts of bread at a spring, and the particulars
of their conversation, 121
Chap. 9. — The meeting of Diego with his family ; their circumstances
in life; great rejoicings on the occasion; the parting
scene between him and Gil Bias, 124
BOOK III.
Chap. 1.— The arrival of Gil Bias at Madrid. His first place there, . 129
Chap. 2.— The astonishment of Gil Bias at meeting Captain Rolando
in Madrid, and that robber's curious narrative, . . . 134
Chap. 3.— Gil Bias is dismissed by Don Bernard de Castil Blazo, and
enters into the service of a beau, 138
Chap. 4. — Gil Bias gets into company with his fellows; they show
him a ready road to the reputation of wit, and impose
on him a singular oath, 145
Chap. 5. — Gil Bias becomes a darling of the fair sex, and makes an
interesting acquaintance, 150
Chap. 6. — The prince's company of comedians, 156
Chap. 7.— History of Don Pompeyo de Castro, 160
Chap. 8. — An accident, in consequence of which Gil Bias was obliged
to look out for another place, 165
Chap. 9. — A new service after the death of Don Matthias de Silva, . 169
Chap. 10. — Much such another as the foregoing, 172
Chap. 11.— A theatrical life and an author's life, 175
Chap. 12. — Gil Bias acquires a relish for the theatre, and takes a full
swing of its pleasures, but soon becomes disgusted, . .178
BOOK IV.
Chap. l. — Gil Bias, not being able to reconcile himself to the morals
of the actresses, quits Arsenia, and gets into a more
reputable service, 182
Chap. 2. — Aurora's reception of Gil Bias. Their conversation, . 186
CONTENTS. XI
PAGE
Chap. S. — A great change at Don Vincent's. Aur6ra's strange reso-
lution, 189
Chap. 4. — The Fatal Marriage : a Novel, 194
Chap. 5. — The behavior of Aurora de Guzman on her arrival at Sala-
manca, 217
Chap. 6. — Aurora's devices to secure Don Lewis Pacheco's affections, 225
Chap. 7. — Gil Bias leaves his place and goes into the service of Don
Gonzales Pacheco, 232
Chap. 8. — The Marchioness of Chaves ; her character and that of her
company, 241
Chap. 9. — An incident that parted Gil Bias and the Marchioness of
Chaves. The subsequent destination of the former, . 246
Chap. 10. — The history of Don Alphonso and the fair Seraphina, . 249
Chap. 11. — The old hermit turns out an extraordinary genius, and Gil
Blaa finds himself among his former acquaintance, . . 260
BOOK V.
Chap, l.— History of Don Raphael, 266
Chap. 2.— Don Raphael's consultation with his company; their adven*
tures as they were preparing to leave the wood, . . . 324
BOOK VI.
Chap. 1. — The fate of Gil Bias and his companions after they took
leave of the Count de Polan, 828
Chap. 2.— The determination of Don Alphonso and Gil Bias after this
adventure, 336
Chap. 3. — An unfortunate occurrence, which terminated to the high
delight of Don Alphonso, 339
BOOK VII.
Chap. 1.— The tender attachment between Gil Bias and Dame Lorenza
Sephora, 342
Chap. 2.— What happened to Gil Bias after his retreat from the Castle
of Leyva, 349
Chap. 3. — Gil Bias becomes the archbishop's favorite, and the chan-
nel of all his favors, 355
Chap. 4.— The archbishop is struck with apoplexy. How Gil Bias
gets into a dilemma, and how he gets out, .... 360
Chap. 5. — The course which Gil Bias took after leaving the arch-
bishop. His accidental meeting with the licentiate, . 363
Zil CONTENTS.
PAGE
Chap. 6.— Gil Bias goes to the play at Granada. His surprise at see-
ing one of the actresses, and what happened thereupon, . 366
Chap. 7.— Laura's story, . . . 372
Chap. 8. — Reception of Gil Bias among the players at Granada ; an-
other old acquaintance up in the green-room, . . . 383
Chap. 9. — An extraordinary companion at supper ; and an account of
their conversation, 386
Chap. iO. — The Marquis de Marialva gives a commission to Gil Bias.
How that faithful secretary acquits himself of it, . . 389
Chap. 11.— A thunderbolt to Gil Bias, 392
Chap. 12. — Gil Bias takes lodgings in a ready-furnished house. He
gets acquainted with Captain Chinchilla, .... 394
Chap. 13. — Gil Bias comes acrass his dear friend Fabricio at court.
Great ecstasy on both sides, 401
Chap. 14. — Fabricio finds a situation for Gil Bias in the establishment
of Count Galiano, a Sicilian nobleman, .... 409
Chap. 15. — The employment of Gil Bias in Don Galiano's household, . 412
Chap. 16. — ^An accident happens to the Count de Galiano's monkey.
The illness of Gil Bias, and its consequences, . . . 417
BOOK VIII.
Chap.
1.
Chap.
2.
Chap.
3.
Chap.
4.
Chap.
5.
Chap.
6.
Chap.
7.
Chap.
8.
Chap.
9.
Chap.
10.
Chap.
11,
Chap.
12.
Chap. 13
— Gil Bias scrapes an acquaintance of some value. Don Va-
lerio de Luna's story, 423
— Gil Bias is introduced to the Duke of Lerma, who admits
him among the number of his secretaries, .... 427
— All is not gold that glitters. Some uneasiness resulting
from the discovery of that principle in philosophy, . . 431
. — Gil Bias becomes a favorite with the Duke of Lerma, and
the confidant of an important secret, 434
— The joys, the honors and the miseries of a court life, in
the person of Gil Bias, . 436
— Gil Bias gives the Duke of Lerma a hint of his condition.
That minister deals with him accordingly, . . . 439
. — A good use made of the fifteen hundred ducats. First intro-
duction to the trade of office, 443
. — History of Don Roger de Rada, 445
. — Gil Bias makes a large fortune in a short time, and behaves
like other wealthy upstarts, 452
. — The morals of Gil Bias become at court much as if they
had never been at all, 457
. — The Prince of Spain's secret visit, and present to Catalina, 463
. — Catalina's real condition a worry and alarm to Gil Bias.
His precautions for his own ease and quiet, . . . 466
— Gil Bias goes on personating the great man. He hea«i
news of his family. A grand quarrel with Fabricio, . 469
CONTENTS. xiil
BOOK IX.
PAGE
Chap. 1. — Scipio's scheme of marriage for Gil Bias. The match, a
rich goldsmith's daughter, . . . . . . . 473
Chap. 2. — Gil Bias remembers Don Alphonso de Leyva, and renders
him a service from motives of vanity, . i . . 476
Chap. 3. — Preparations for the marriage of Gil Bias. A spoke in the
wheel of Hymen, 478
Chap. 4. — The treatment of Gil Bias in the tower of Segovia. The
cause of his imprisonment, 480
Chap. 5. — His reflections before he weril to sleep that night, and the
noise that waked him, . . . . . . , 483
Chap. 6. — History of Don Gaston de Cogollos and Donna Helena de
Galisteo, 485
Chap. 7. — Scipio finds Gil Bias out in the tower of Segovia, and brings
him a budget of news, 497
Chap. 8. — Scipio's first journey to Madrid; its object and success.
Gil Bias falls sick. The consequence of his illness, . 499
Chap. 9. — Scipio's second journey to Madrid. Gil Bias is set at
liberty on certain conditions, 502
Chap. 10. — Their doings at Madrid. The rencounter of Gil Bias in the
street, and its consequences, 505
BOOK X.
Chap. 1. — Gil Bias sets out for the Asturias, and passes through Valla-
dolid. He goes to see Doctor Sangrado, .... 508
Chap. 2. — Gil Bias continues his journey, and arrives at Oviedo. The
condition of his family. His father's death, . . . 515
Chap. 3. — Gil Bias sets out for Valencia, and arrives at Lirias; de-
scription of his seat; particulars of his reception, . . 522
Chap. 4. — Journey to Valencia, and a visit to the lords of Leyva.
Conversation of the gentlemen, 527
Chap. 5. — Gil Bias goes to the play, and sees a new tragedy. Success
of the piece. The public taste at Valencia, . . . 530
Chap. 6. — Gil Bias, walking about the streets of Valencia, meets with
a man of sanctity, whom he thinks he knows, . . . 534
Chap. 7. — Gil Bias returns to his seat at Lirias. Scipio's agreeable
intelligence. Reform in the domestic arrangements, . 539
Chap. 8.— The loves of Gil Bias and the fair A ntonia, . . .542
Chap. 9. — Nuptials of Gil Bias with the fair Antonia; the style and
manner of the ceremony, 547
Chap. 10. — The honeymoon (a very dull time for the reader) enlivened
by the commencement of Scipio's story, .... 552
Chap. 11. — Continuation of Scipio's story, 670
Chap. 12. — Conclusion of Scipio's story, . 579
^iv
CONTENTS.
BOOK XL
696
599
Chap. 1. — Containing the subject of the greatest joy that Gil Bias
ever felt, followed by the most melancholy event of his
life,
Chap. 2. — Gil Bias arrives in Madrid. He appears at court. The king
recommends him to the notice of his prime minister.
Chap. 3. — The project of retirement is prevented. Joseph Navarro
brought upon the stage again, 603
Chap. 4. — Gil Bias ingratiates himself with the Count of Olivarez, . 605
Chap. 5. — The private conversjftion of Gil Bias with Navarro. His
first employment in the service of the Count d'Olivarez, . 608
Chap. 6. — The application of the three hundred pistoles, and Scipio's
commission connected with them, 613
Chap. 7. — Gil Bias meets with his friend Fabricio once more. The
circumstances described, 616
Chap. 8. — Gil Bias progresses in his master's afiections. Scijuo's re-
turn to Madrid ; an account of his journey.
Chap. 9. — How my lord duke married his only daughter, and to
whom. The bitter consequences of that marriage, .
Chap. 10. — Gil Bias meets with the poet Nunez by accident, and learns
that he has written a tragedy,
Chap. 11. — Santillane gives Scipio a situation ; the latter sets out for
New Spain,
Chap. 12. — Don Alphonso de Leyva comes to Madrid ; the motive of
his journey a severe affliction to Gil Bias,
Chap. 13. — Gil Bias meets Don Gaston de CogoUos and Don Andrew de
Tordesillas at the drawing-room,
Chap. 14. — Santillane's visit to Poet Nunez ; the company and con-
versation
619
621
623
627
629
632
636
BOOK XII.
Chap. 1. — Gil Bias sent to Toledo by the minister. The purpose of his
journey and its success, 639
Chap. 2. — Santillane makes his report to the minister, who commis-
sions him to send for Lucretia, 644
Chap. 3. — Lucretia's popularity ; her appearance before the king ; his
passion, and its consequences, 646
Chap. 4. — Santillane in a new office, 649
Chap. 5. — The son of the Genoese is acknowledged by a legal instru-
ment, and named Don Henry Philip de Guzman, . . 651
Chap. 6. — Scipio's return from New Spain. Gil Bias places him about
Don Henry's person, 652
Chap. 7. — An accidental meeting between Gil Bias and Fabricio. Their
last conversation together, 655
CONTENTS. XV
PAOK
Chap. 8. — Gil Bias finds that Fabricio's hint was not without founda-
tion. The king's journey to Saragossa, . . . . 657
Chap. 9. — The revolution of Portugal, and disgrace of the prime
minister, 668
Chap. 10. — A difiicult but successful weaning from the world. The
minister's employments in his retreat, .... 660
Chap. 11. — A change in his lordship for the worse. The marvellous
cause and melancholy consequences of his dejection, . G62
Chap. 12. — Proceedings at the castle of Loeches after his lordship's
death. The course which Santillane adopted, . . 664
Chap. 13. — The return of Gil Bias to his seat. His joy at finding his
goddaughter Seraphina marriageable, .... 666
Chap. 14. — ^A double marriage. Conclusion of the history, . . . 668
ADVENTURES OF
GIL BLAS OF SANTILLANE.
BOOK I.
CHAPTER I.
THE BIRTH AND EDUCATION OF GIL BLAS.
MY father, Blaa of Santillane, after having borne arms for a
long time in the Spanish service, retired to his native place.
There he married a chambermaid who was not exactly in her
teens, and I made my d^but on this stage ten months after marriage.
They afterwards went to live at Oviedo, where my mother got
into service, and my father obtained a situation equally adapted
to his capacities as a squire. As their wages were their fortune, I
might have got my education as I could, had it not been for an
uncle of mine in the town, a canon, by name Gil Perez. He was
my mother's eldest brother, and my godfather. Figure to yourself
a little fellow, three feet and a half high, as fat as you can conceive,
with a head sunk deep between his shoulders, and you have my
uncle to the life. For the rest of his qualities, he was an ecclesi-
astic, and of course thought of nothing but good living, — I mean in
the flesh as well as in the spirit, — with the means of which good
living his stall, no mean one, provided him.
He took me home to his own house from my infancy, and ran the
risk of my bringing up. I struck him as so brisk a lad, that he
resolved to cultivate my talents. He bought me a primer, and
undertook my tuition as far as reading went : which was not amiss
for himself as well as for me, since by teaching me my letters he
brushed up his own learning, which had not been pursued in a very
scholastic manner ; and, by dint of application, he got at last to read
his breviary out of hand, which he had never been able to do before.
He would have been very glad to have taught me Latin, to save
2 (17)
18 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
expense ; but, alas ! poor Gil Perez 1 he had never skimmed the
first principles of it in the whole course of his life. I should not
wonder if he was the most ignorant member of the chapter ; though
on a eubject involving as many possibilities as there were canons,
I presume not to pledge myself for anything like certainty. To be
sure, I have heard it suggested that he did not gain his preferment
altogether by his learning, but that he owed it exclusively to the
gratitude of some good nuns whose discreet factor he had been, and
who had credit enough to procure him the order of priesthood with-
out the troublesome ceremony of an examination.
He was obliged, therefore, to place me under the correction of a
master, so that I was sent to Doctor Godinez, who had the reputa-
tion of being the most accomplished pedant of Oviedo. I profited
so well under his instructions, that by the end of five or six years
I could read a Greek author or two, and had no very inadequate
conception of the Latin poets. Besides my classical studies, I
applied to logic, which enabled me to become an expert arguer. I
now fell in love with discussions of all kinds to such an excess, that
I stopped his majesty's subjects on the high road, — acquaintance or
strangers, no matter 1 — and proposed some knotty point of contro-
versy. Sometimes I fell in with a clan of Irish, and an altercation
never comes amiss to them. That was your time, if you were fond
of a battle. Such gestures I such grimaces ! such contortions 1 our
eyes sparkling and our mouths foaming ! Those who did not take
us for what we affected to be, philosophers, must have set us down
for madmen.
But let that be as it will, I gained the reputation of no small
learning in the town. My uncle was delighted, because he prudently
considered that I should so much the sooner cease to be chargeable
to him. " Come here, Gil Bias," quoth he one day, "you are got to be
a fine fellow. You are past seventeen, and a clever lad ; you must
bestir yourself, and get forward in the world. I think of sending
you to the University of Salamanca ; with your wit, you will easily
get a good post. I will give you a few ducats for your journey, and
my mule, which will fetch ten or twelve pistoles at Salamanca, and
with such a sum at setting out, you will be enabled to hold up your
head till you get a situation."
He could not have proposed to me anything more agreeable, for
I was dying to see a little of life. At the same time, I was not such
a fool as to betray my satisfaction ; and when it came to the hour of
parting, by the sensibility I discovered at taking leave of my dear
uncle, to whom I was so much obliged, and by calling in the stage
effect of grief, I so softened the good soul, thsit he put his hand
deeper into his pocket than he would have done could he have
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 19
pried into all that was passing in the interior of my hypocritical
little heart. Before my departure, I took a last leave of my papa
and mamma, who loaded me with an ample inheritance of good
advice. They enjoined me to pray to God for my uncle, to go
honestly through the world, not to engage in any ill, and above all
not to lay my hands on other people's property. After they had
lectured me for a good while, they made me a present of their bless-
ing, which was all my patrimony and all my expectation. As soon
as I had received it, I mounted my mule, and saw the outside of the
town.
CHAPTER 11.
OIL BLAS' ALARM ON HIS KOAD TO PEGNAFLOR; HIS ADVENTURES ON
HIS ARRIVAL IN THAT TOWN, AND THE CHARACTER OF THE MEN
WITH WHOM HE SUPPED.
HERE I am, then, on the other side of Oviedo, on the road to
Pegnaflor, with the world before me, as yet my own master,
as well as master of a bad mule and forty good ducats, without
reckoning on a little supplementary cash which I had purloined from
my much-honored uncle. The first thing I did was to let my mule
go as the beast liked, that is to say, very lazily. I dropped the
rein, and taking out my ducats, began to count them backward and
forward in my hat I was out of my wits for joy, never having
seen such a sum of money before, and could not help looking at it
and sifting it through my fingers. I had counted it over about the
twentieth time, when all at once my mule, with head raised and
ears pricked up, stood stock still in the middle of the high road.
I thought to be sure something was the matter ; looked about for a
cause, and perceived a hat upon the ground, with a rosary of lai^e
beads, at the same time I heard a lugubrious voice pronounce these
words : " Pray, honored master, have pity on a poor maimed soldier 1
Please to throw a few small pieces into this hat ; you shall be re-
warded for it in the other world." I looked immediately on the side '
whence the voice proceeded, and saw just by a thicket, twenty or
thirty paces from me, a sort of a soldier, who had mounted the
barrel of a confounded long carbine on two cross sticks, and seemed
to be taking aim at me. At a sight which made me tremble for the
patrimony of the church committed to my care, I stopped short,
made sure of my ducats, and taking out a little small change, as I
20 ADVENTURES OF ChlL BLAS.
rode by the hat, placed to receive the charity of those quiet subjects
who had not the courage to refuse it, dropped in my contribution in
detail, to convince the soldier how nobly I dealt by him. He was
satisfied with my liberality, and gave me a blessing for every kick
I gave my mule in my impatience to get out of his way ; but the
infernal beast, without partaking in the slightest degree of my im-
patience, went at the old steady pace. A long custom of jogging
on fair and softly under my uncle's weight had obliterated every
idea of that motion called a gallop.
The prospect of my journey was not much improved by this ad-
venture as a specimen. I considered within myself that I had yet
some distance to Salamanca, and might not improbably meet with
something worse. My uncle seemed to have been very imprudent
not to have consigned me to the care of a muleteer. That, to be
sure, was what he ought to have done ; but his notion was, that by
giving me his mule my journey would be cheaper ; and that entered
more into his calculation than the dangers in which I might be
involved on the road. To retrieve his error, therefore, I resolved,
if I had the good luck to arrive safe at Pegnaflor, to offer my mule
for sale, and take the opportunity of a muleteer going to Astorga,
whence I might get to Salamanca by a similar conveyance. Though
I had never been out of Oviedo, I was acquainted with the names
of the towns through which I was to pass— a species of information
I took care to procure before my setting out.
I got safe and sound to Pegnaflor, and stopped at the door of a
very decent-looking inn. My foot was scarcely out of the stirrup
Ijefore the landlord was at my side, overwhelming me with public-
house civility. He untied my cloak-bag with his own hands, swung
it across his shoulders, and ushered my honor into a room, while
one of his men led my mule to the stable. This landlord, the most
busy prattler of the Asturias, ready to bother you impertinently
about his own concerns, and at the same time with a sufficient por-
tion of curiosity to worm himself into the knowledge of yours, was
not long in telling me that his name was Andrew Corcuelo ; that he
had seen some service as a sergeant in the army, which he had
quitted fifteen months ago, and married a girl of Castropol, who,
though a little tawny or so, knew how to make both ends meet as
well as the best of them. He told me a thousand things besides
which he might just as well have kept private. Thinking himself
entitled after this voluntary confidence to an equal share of mine,
he asked me in a breath, and without further preface, whence I
came, whither I was going, and who I was. To all this I felt my-
self bound to answer, article by article, because, though rather
abrupt in asking them, he accompanied each question with so
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAH. 21
apologetic a bow, beseeching me with so submissive a grimace not
to be offended at his curiosity, that I was drawn on to gratify it,
whether I would or no. Thus by degrees did we get into a long
conversation, in the course of which I took occasion to hint that I
had some reasons for wishing to get rid of my mule, and travel
under convoy of a muleteer. He seemed on the whole to approve
of my plan, though he could not prevail with himself to tell me so
briefly ; for he introduced his remarks by descanting on all the pos-
sible and probable mischances to which travellers are liable on the
road, not omitting an awkward story now and then. I thought the
fellow would never have done. But the conclusion of the argument
was, that if I wanted to sell my mule, he knew an honest jockey
who would take it off ray hands. I begged he would do me the
favor and fetch him, which was no sooner said than done.
On his return he introduced the purchaser, with a high encomium
on his integrity. We all three went into the yard, and the mule
was brought out to show paces before the jockey, who set himself
to examine the beast from head to foot. His report was bad enough.
To be sure, it would not have been easy to make a good one ; but if
it had been the pope's mule, and this fellow was to cheapen the
bargain, it would have been just the same : nay, to speak with all
due reverence, if he had been asked to give an opinion of the pope's
great toe, from that disparaging habit of his, he would have pro-
nounced it no better than the toe of any ordinary man. He laid it
down, therefore, as a principle that the mule had all the defects a
mule could have, appealing to the landlord for a confirmation of
his judgment, who doubtless had reasons of his own for not contro-
verting his friend's assertion. " Well !" says the jockey, with an air
of indifference, " what price have you the conscience to ask for this
devil of an animal?" After such a panegyric, and master Corcuelo's
certificate, whom I was fool enough to take for a fair-dealing man
and a good judge of horseflesh, they might have had the mule for
nothing. I therefore told the dealer that I threw myself on his
mercy : he must fix his own sum, and I should expect no more.
On this he began to affect the gentleman, and answered that I had
found out his weak side when I had left it to his honor. He was
right enough in that ! His honor was his weak side ; for instead of
bidding up to my uncle's estimate of ten or twelve pistoles, the
rascal had the impudence to offer three ducats, which I accepted
with as light a heart as if I had got the best of the bargain.
Having disencumbered myself of my mule in so tradesmanlike a
manner, I went with my landlord to a carrier who was to set out
early the next morning for Astorga, and engaged to call me up in
time. When we had settled the hire of the mule, as well as the
22 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
expenses on the road, I turned back towards the inn with Corcuelo,
who as M'e went along got into the private history of this muleteer.
When I had been pestered with all the tittle-tattle of the town about
this fellow, the changes were just beginning to ring on some new
subject ; but, by good luck, a pretty-looking sort of a man very
civilly interrupted my loquacious friend. I left them together, and
sauntered on, without the slightest suspicion of being at all con-
cerned in their discourse.
I ordered supper as soon as I got to the inn. It was a fish day :
but I thought eggs were better suited to my finances. While they
were getting ready, I joined in conversation with the landlady,
whom I had not seen before. She seemed a pretty enough piece of
goods, and such a stirring body, that I should have concluded, if
her husband had not told me so, her tavern must have plenty of
custom. The moment the omelet was served up, I sat down to the
table by myself, and had scarcely got the relish of it, when my land-
lord walked in, followed by the man who had stopped him in the
street. This pleasant gentleman wore a long rapier, and might, per-
haps, be about thirty years of age. He came up to me in the most
friendly manner possible. " Mr. Professor," says he, " I have just
now heard that you are the renowned Gil Bias of Santillane, that
ornament of Oviedo and luminary of philosophy. And do my eyes
behold that very greatest of all great scholars and wits, whose repu-
tation has run hither so fast before him ! Little do you think," con-
tinues he, directing his discourse to the landlord and landlady, " little
do you imagine, I say, what good luck has befallen you. Why, you
have got hold of a treasure. In this young gentleman you behold
the eighth wonder of the world." Then running up and throwing
his arms about my neck, " Excuse me," added he ; " but worlds
would not bribe me to suppress the rapturous emotions your honored
presence has excited."
I could not answer him so glibly as I wished, not so much for
want of words as of breath ; for he hugged me so tight that I began
to be alarmed for my windpipe. As soon, however, as I had got my
head out of durance, I replied, " Signor cavalier, I had not the least
conception that my name was known at Pegnaflor." " Known ?" re-
sumed he in the same pompous style ; " we keep a register of all great
persons within a circuit of twenty leagues round us. You have the
character of a prodigy here ; and I have not a shadow of doubt but
one day or other Spain will be as proud of numbering you among
her rare productions as Greece of having given birth to her seven
wise men." This fine speech was followed as before ; and I really
began to think that, with all my classical honors, I should at last
be doomed to share the fate of Antaeus. If I had been master of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 2S
ever so little experience, I should not have been the dupe of his
rhodomontade. I must have discovered him, by his outrageous
compliments, to be one of those parasites who swarm in every town,
and get into a stranger's company on his arrival, to appease the
wolf in their stomachs at his expense ; but my youth and vanity
tempted me to draw a quite opposite conclusion. My admirer was
very clever in my eyes, and I asked him to supper on the strength
of it. " Oh ! most willingly," cried he : " with all my heart and
soul. My fortunate star predominates, now that I have the honor
of being in company with the illustrious Gil Bias of Santillane,
and I shall certainly make the most of my good fortune as long as
it lasts. My appetite is rather delicate, but I will just sit down
with you by way of being sociable, and if I can swallow a bit!
only just not to look sulky ; for we philosophers are careless of the
body."
These words were no sooner out of his mouth than my panegyrist
took his seat opposite to me. A cover was laid for him in due form
and order. First he fell on the omelet with as much perseverance
as if he had not tasted food for three whole days. By the compla-
cency with which he eyed it, I was morally certain the poor pancake
was at death's door. I therefore ordered its heir apparent to suo-
ceed ; and the business was despatched with such speed, that the
second made its appearance on the table just as we — no — I beg
pardon— just as he had taken the last lick of its predecessor. He
pressed forward the main business, however, with a diligence and
activity proportioned to the importance of the object he had in
view : so that he contrived to load me with panegyric on pane-
gyric, without losing a single stroke in the progress of mastication.
Now, all this gave me no slender conceit of my pretty little self.
When a man eats, he must drink. The first toast of course was my
health. The second, in common civility, was my father and mother,
whose happiness in having such an angel of a son he could not suffi-
ciently envy or admire. All this while he kept filling my glass, and
challenging me to keep pace with him. It was impossible to be
backward in doing justice to such excellent toasts and sentiments :
the compliments with which they were seasoned did not come
amiss ; so that I got into such a convivial mood, at observing our
second omelet disappear not insensibly, as just to ask the landlord
if he could not find us a little bit of fish. Master Corcuelo, who to
all appearances played booty with the parasite, told me he had an ex-
cellent trout ; " but those who eat him must pay for him. I am afraid
he is meat for your masters." " Meat for our masters 1" exclaims my
very humble servant, in an angry tone of voice ; "that is more than
you know, my friend. Are you yet to learn that the best of your
24 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
larder is not too good for the renowned Gil Bias of Santillane? Go
where he will, he is fit to table with princes."
I was very glad he took up the landlord's last expression, because
if he had not, I should. I felt myself a little hurt at it, and said to
Corcuelo, with some degree of hauteur: " Produce this trout of yours,
and I will take the consequences." The landlord, who had got just
what he wanted, set himself to work, and served it up in high order.
At the first glance of this third course, I saw such pleasure spark-
ling in the parasite's eyes, as to prove him to be of a very comply-
ing temper — just as ready to do a kindness by the fish as by those
said eggs of which he had given so good an account. But at last he
was obliged to lay down his arms, for fear of accidents, as his
magazine was crammed to the very throat. Having eaten and
drunk his fill, he bethought him of putting a finishing hand to the
farce. " Master Gil Bias," said he, as he rose from the table, " I am too
well pleased with my princely entertainment to leave you without
a word of advice, of which you seem to stand in much need. From
this time forward be on your guard against extravagant praise. Do
not trust men till you know them. You may meet with many
another man who, like me, may amuse himself at your expense,
and perhaps carry the joke a little further. But do not you be
taken in a second time, to believe yourself, on the word of such
fellows, the eighth wonder of the world." With this sting in the
tail of his farewell speech, he very coolly took his leave.
I was as much alive to so ridiculous a circumstance as I have
ever been in after-life to the most severe mortifications. I did not
know how to reconcile myself to the idea of having been so egregi-
ously taken in, or, in fact, to- lowering of my pride. " So, so !" quoth
I, "this rascal has been putting his tricks upon travellers, has he?
Then he only wanted to pump my landlord ! or more likely they
were both in the story. Ah ! my poor Gil Bias, thou hadst better
hide thy silly head ! To have suffered such knaves as these to turn
thee into ridicule ! A pretty story they will make of this 1 It is
sure to travel back to Oviedo, and will give our friends a hopeful
prospect of thy success in life. The family will be quite delighted
to think what a blessed harvest all their pious advice has produced.
There was no occasion to preach up morals to thee ; for verily thou
bast more of the dupe than the sharper in thy composition." Ready
to tear my eyes out or bite my fingers off from spite and vexation, I
locked myself up in my chamber and went to bed, but not to sleep,
of which I had not got a wink when the muleteer came to tell me
that he only waited for me to set out on his journey. I got np as
expeditiously as I could ; and while I was dressing, C!orcuelo put in
his appearance, with a little bill in his hand — a slight memorandum
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 26
of the trout ! But paying through the nose was not the worst of
it ; for I had the vexation to perceive that while I was counting
over the cost, this hang-dog was chuckling at the recollection of the
night before. Having been fleeced most shamefully for a supper,
which stuck in my stomach though I had scarcely come in for a
morsel of it, I joined the muleteer with my baggage, giving to as
many devils as there are saints in the calendar the parasite, the
landlord, and the inn.
CHAPTEE III.
THE muleteer's TEMPTATION ON THE KOAD ; ITS CONSEQUENCES, AND
THE SITUATION OF GIL BLAS BETWEEN SCYLLA AND CHAEYBDIS.
I WAS not the only passenger. There were two young gentle-
men of Pegnaflor — a little chorister of Mondognedo, who was
travelling about the country, and a young tradesman of Astorga,
returning home from Verco with his new-married wife. We soon
got acquainted, and exchanged the usual confidence of travellers,
telling one another whence we came and whither we were going.
The bride was young enough, but so dark-complexioned, with so
little of what a man likes to look at in a woman, that I did not
think her worth the trouble. But she had youth and a good plump
person on her side, and the muleteer, being rather less nice in his
taste, was resolved to try if he could not get into her good graces.
This pretty project occupied his ingenuity during the whole day;
but he deferred the execution till we should get to Cacabelos, the
last place we were to stop at on the road. We alighted at an inn in
the outskirts of the town, a quiet, convenient place, with a landlord
who never troubled himself about other people's concerns. We
were ushered into a private room, and got our supper snugly ; but
just as the cloth was taken away, in comes our carrier in a furious
passion : — " Death and the devil ! I have been robbed. Here had I
a hundred pistoles in my purse I But I will have them back again.
I am going for a magistrate ; and those gentry will not take a joke
upon such serious subjects. You will all be put to the rack unless
you confess, and give back the money." The fellow played his part
very naturally, and burst out of the room, leaving us in a terrible
fright.
We had none of us the least suspicion of the trick, and, being all
strangers, were afraid of one another. I looked askance at the little
96 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
chorister, and he perhaps had no better opinion of me. Besides,
we were all a pack of greenhorns, and were quite unacquainted with
the routine of business on these occasions. We were fools enough
to believe that the torture would be the very first stage of our
examination. With this dread upon our spirits, we all made for
the door. Some effected their escape into the street, others into
the garden ; but the whole party preferred the discretion of run-
ning away to the valor of standing their ground. The young trades-
man of Astorga had as great an objection to bone-twisting as the
rest of us, so he did as ^neas and many another good husband has
done before him — ran away and left his wife behind. At that
critical moment the muleteer, as I was told afterwards, who had not
half so much sense of decency as his own mules, delighted at the
success of his stratagem, began making advances to the citizen's
wife ; but this Lucrece of the Asturias, borrowing the chastity of a
saint from the ugliness of the devil who tempted her, defended her
sweet person tooth and nail, and showed she was in earnest about
it by the noise she made. The patrol, who happened to be passing
by the inn at the time, and knew that the neighborhood required a
little looking after, took the liberty of just asking the cause of the
disturbance. The landlord, who was trying if he could not sing
in the kitchen louder than she could scream in the parlor, and
swore he heard no music but his own, was aflast obliged to intro-
duce the myrmidons of the police to the distressed lady, just in time
to rescue her from the necessity of a surrender at discretion. The
head officer — a coarse fellow, without an atom of feeling for the
tender passion — no sooner saw the game that was playing, than he
gave the amorous muleteer five or six blows with the butt end of
his halberd, representing to him the indecency of his conduct in
terms quite as offensive to modesty as the naughty propensity which
had called forth his virtuous indignation. Neither did he stop here,
but laid hold of the culprit, and carried plaintiff and defendant be-
fore the magistrate. The former, with her charms all heightened
by the discomposure of her dress, went eagerly to try their effect in
obtaining justice for the outrage they had sustained. His worship
heard at least one party ; and after solemn deliberation, pronounced
the offence to be of the most heinous nature. He ordered him to be
stripped, and to receive a competent number of lashes in his pres-
ence. The conclusion of the sentence was, that if the Endymion of
Asturian Diana was not forthcoming the next day, a couple of
guards should escort the disconsolate goddess to the town of Astorga,
at the expense of this mule-driving Acteon.
For my part, being probably more terrified than the rest of the
party, I got into the fields, scampering over hedge and ditch,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 27
through enclosures and across commons, till I found myself hard
by a forest. I was just going for concealment to ensconce myself in
the very heart of the thicket, when two men on horseback rode
across me, crying, " Who goes there ?" As my alarm prevented me
from giving them an immediate answer, they came to close quarters,
and holding each of them a pistol to my throat, required me to give
an account of myself; who I was, whence I came, what business I
had in that forest, and above all, not to tell a lie about it. Their
rough interrogatives were, according to my notion, little better than
the rack with which our friend the muleteer had offered to treat us.
I represented myself, however, as a young man on my way from
Oviedo to Salamanca ; told the story of our late fright, and faith-
fully attributed my running away in such a hurry to the dread of
a worse exercise under the torture. They burst into an immoderate
fit of laughter at my simplicity, and one of them said : " Take heart,
my little friend ; come along with us, and do not be afraid ; we will
put you in a place where the devil shall not find you." At these
words he took me up behind him, and we darted into the forest.
I did not know what to think of this odd meeting ; yet, on the
whole, I could not well be worse off than before. " If these gentry,"
thought I to myself, " had been thieves, they would have robbed and
perhaps murdered me. Depend on it, they are a couple of good
honest country gentlemen in this neighborhood, who seeing me
frightened, have taken compassion on me, and mean to carry me
home with them and make me comfortable." But these visions did
not last long. After turning and winding backward and forward in
deep silence, we found ourselves at the foot of a hill, where we dis-
mounted. " This is our abode," said one of these sequestered gentle-
men. I looked about in all directions, but the deuce a bit of either
house or cottage, nor a vestige of human habitation I The two men
in the meantime raised a great wooden trap, covered with earth and
briers, to conceal the entrance of a long shelving passage under
ground, to which from habit the poor beasts took very kindly of
their own accord. Their masters kept tight hold of me, and let the
trap down after them. Thus was the worthy nephew of my uncle
Perez caught, just for all the world as you would catch a rat.
28 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER IV.
DESCRIPTION OF THE BCBTEKRANEOUS DWELLING AND ITS CONTENTS.
I NOW knew into what company I had fallen ; and I leave it to
any one to judge whether the discovery must not have rid me
of my former fear. A dread more mighty and more just now
/seized my faculties. Money and life, all given up for lost! With
the air of a victim on his passage to the altar, did I walk, more
dead than alive, between my two conductors, who finding that I
trembled, frightened me so much the more by telling me not to be
afraid. When we had gone two hundred paces, winding down a
declivity all the way, we got into a stable lighted by two large iron
lamps suspended from the vault above. There was a good store of
straw, and several casks of hay and corn, with room enough for
twenty horses ; but at that time there were only the two which came
with us. An old negro, who seemed for his years in pretty good
case, was tying them to the rack where they were to feed.
We went out of the stable. By the melancholy light of some
other lamps, which only served to dress up horror in its native
colors, we arrived at a kitchen where an old harridan was broiling
some steaks on the coals, and getting supper ready. The kitchen
furniture was better than might be expected, and the pantry pro-
vided in a very plentiful manner. The lady of the larder's picture
is worth drawing. Considerably on the wrong side of sixty I In
her youth her hair had been of a fiery red, though she would have
called it auburn. Time had indeed given it the fairer tint of gray ;
but a lock of more youthful hue, interspersed at intervals, produced
all the variegated effect of the admired autumnal shades. To say
nothing of an olive complexion, she had an enormous chin turning
up, an immense nose turning down, with a mouth in the middle,
modestly retiring inwards, to make room for its encroaching neigh-
bors. Red eyes are no beauty in any animal but a ferret — hers were
purple.
" Here, Dame Leonarda," said one of the horsemen, as he presented
me to this angelic imp of darkness, " we have brought you a young
lad." Then looking round, and observing me to be miserably pale,
" Pluck up your spirits, my friend ; you shall come vo no harm. We
want a scullion, and have met with you. You are a lucky dog!
We had a boy who died about a fortnight ago ; you shall succeed to
the preferment. He was rather too delicate for his place. You
seem a good stout fellow, and may live a week or two longer. We
find you in bed and board, coal and candle ; but as for daylight, you
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 29
shall never see that again. Your leisure hours will pass off very
agreeably with Leonarda, who is really a very good creature, and
tolerably tender-hearted ; you will have all your little comforts
about you. I flatter myself you have not got among beggars." At
this moment the thief seized a flambeau ; and as I fedred, " with
zeal to destroy ;" for he ordered me to follow him.
He took me into a cellar, where I saw a great number of bottles
and earthen pots full of excellent Avine, He then made rpe cross
several rooms. In some were pieces of cloth piled up ; in others,
stuffs and silks. As we passed through, I could not help casting a
sheep's eye at the gold and silver plate peeping out of the different
cupboards. After that, I followed him into a great hall illuminated
by three copper lustres, and serving as a gallery between the other
rooms. Here he put fresh questions to me, asking my name, why
I left Oviedo. When I had satisfied his curiosity : " Well, Gil Bias,"
said he, " since your only motive for quitting your native place was
to get into something snug and eligible, to be sure you must have
been bom to good luck, or you would not have fallen into our
hands. I tell you once for all, you will live here on the fat of the
land, and may souse over head and ears in ready money. Besides,
you are in a place of perfect safety. The officers of the holy
brotherhood might pass through the forest a hundred times without
discovering our subterraneous abode. The entrance is only known
to myself and my comrades. You may perhaps ask how it came to
be contrived, without being perceived by the inhabitants in the
neighborhood. But you are to understand, my friend, that it was
made long ago, and is no work of ours. After the Moors had made
themselves masters of Granada, of Arragon, and nearly the whole of
Spain, the Christians, rather than submit to the tyranny of infidels,
betook themselves to flight, and lay concealed in this country, in
Biscay, and in the Asturias, whither the brave Don Pelagio had
withdrawn himself. They lived in a state of exile, on the moun-
tains, or in the woods dispersed in little knots. Some took up their
residences in natural caves, others in artificial dwellings under
ground, like this we are in. In process of time, when by the bless-
ing of Providence they had driven their enemies out of Spain, they
returned to the towns. From that time forth their retreats have
served as a rendezvous for the gentlemen of our profession. It is
true that several of them have been discovered and destroyed by
the holy brotherhood, but there are some yet remaining: and, by
great good luck, I have tenanted this without paying any rent for it
almost these fifteen years. Captain Rolando, at your service! I
am the leader of the band, and the man you saw with me was one
of my troopers."
to JLDVBNTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER V.
ARRIVAL OF THE BANDITTI IN THE SUBTEKRANEOUS RETREAT, WITH
AN ACCOUNT OF THEIR PLEASANT CONVERSATION.
JUST as Captain Rolando had finished his speech, six new faces
raa^e their appearance in the hall — the lieutenant and five
privates, returning home with their booty. They were hauling in
two great baskets full of sugar, cinnamon, pepper, figs, almonds,
and raisins. The lieutenant gave an account of their proceedings
to the captain, and told him they had taken these articles, as well
as the sumpter-mule, from a grocer of Benavento. An ofiicial report
having thus been made to the prime-minister, the grocer's contribu-
tion was carried to account ; and the next step was to regale after
their labors. A large table was set out in the hall. They sent me
back to the kitchen, where Dame Leonarda told me what I had to
do. I made the best of a bad bargain, finding the luck ran against
me; and, swallowing my grievances, set myself to wait on my noble
masters.
I cleaned my plate, set out my sideboard, and brought up my
wine. As soon as I announced dinner to be on table, consisting of
two good black-peppery ragouts for the first course, this high and
mighty company took their seats. They fell to most voraciously.
My place was to wait ; and I handed about the glasses with so butler-
like an air, as to be not a little complimented on my dexterity. The
chief entertained them with a short sketch of my story, and praised
my parts. But I had recovered from my mania by this time, and
could listen to my own panegyric with the humility of an anchorite
or the contempt of a philosopher. They all seemed to take a liking
to me, and to think I had dropped from the clouds on purpose to be
their cup-bearer. My predecessor was a fool to me. Since his
death, the illustrious Leonarda had the honor of presenting nectar
to these gods of the lower regions. But she was now degraded, and
I had the felicity of being installed in her office. Thus, old Hebe
being a little worse for wear, young Ganymede tripped up her
heels.
A substantial joint of meat after the ragouts at length blunted the
edge of their appetites. Eating and drinking went together; so
that they soon got into a merry pin, and made a roaring noise.
Well done, my lads ! All talkers and no listeners. One begins a
long story, another cuts a joke ; here a fellow hawk, there a fellow
sings ; and they all seem to be at cross-purposes. At last Rolando,
tired of a concert in which he could hardly hear the sound of hia
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 81
own voice, let. them know that he was the maestro di capella, and
brought them into better tune. " Gentlemen," said he, " I have a ques-
tion to put. Instead of stunning one another with this infernal din,
had we not better enjoy a little rational conversation ? A thought
is just come into my head. Since the happy day that united us, we
have never had the curiosity to inquire into each other's pedigrees,
or by what chain of circumstances we were each of us led to embrace
our present way of life. There would be no harm in knowing who
and who are together. Let us exchange confidence ; we may find
some amusement in it." The lieutenant and the rest, like true heroes
of romance, accepted the challenge with the utmost courtesy, and
the captain told the first story to the following efiect : —
" Gentlemen, you are to know that I am the only son of a rich
citizen of Madrid. The day of my birth was celebrated in the
family by rejoicings without end. My father — no chicken — thought
it a considerable feat to have got an heir, and my mother was kind
enough to suckle me herself. My maternal grandfather was still
living — a good old man, who did not trouble himself about other
people's concerns, but said his prayers, and fought his campaigns
over and over again ; for he had been in the army. Of course I was
idolized by these three persons : never out of their arms. My early
years were passed in the most childish amusements, for fear of hurt-
ing my health by application. ' It will not do,' said my father, ' to
hammer too much learning into children till time has ripened their
understanding.' While he waited for this ripening, the season went
by. I could neither read nor write, but I made up for that in other
ways. My father taught me a thousand different games. I became
perfectly acquainted with cards, was no stranger to dice, and my
grandfather set me the example of drawing the long bow, while he
entertained me with his military exploits. He sung the same songs
repeatedly, one after another every day, so that when, after saying
ten or twelve lines after him for three months together, I got to
boggle through them without missing, the whole family were in
raptures at my memory. Neither was my wit thought to be at all
less extraordinary ; for I was suffered to talk at random, and took
care to put in my oar in the most impertinent manner possible.
' O, the pretty little dear !' exclaimed my father, as if he had been
fascinated. My mother made it up with kisses, and my grandfather's
old eyes overflowed. I played all sorts of dirty and indecent tricks
before them with impunity ; everything was excusable in so fine a
boy ; an angel could not do wrong. Going on in this manner, I was
already in my twelfth year without ever having a master. It waa
high time ; but then he was to teach me by fair means ; he might
threaten, but must not flog me. This arrangement did me little
82 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
good, for sometimes I laughed when my tutor scolded ; at others, I
ran with tears in my eyes to my mother or my grandfather, and com-
plained that he used me ill. The poor devil got nothing by denying
it. My word was always taken before his, and he came oflf with the
character of a cruel rascal. One day I scratched myself with my
own nails, and set up a howl as if I had been flogged. My mother
ran and turned the master out of doors, though he vowed and pro-
tested he had never lifted a finger against me.
" Thus did I get rid of all my tutors, till at last I met with one to
my mind. He was a bachelor of Alcala. This was the master for a
young man of fashion. Women, wine, and gaming were his prin-
cipal amusements. It was impossible to be in better hands. He
hit the right nail on the head, for he let me do what I pleased, and
thus got into the good graces of the family, who abandoned me to
his conduct. They had no reason to repent. He perfected me
betimes in the knowledge of the world. By dint of taking me about
to all his haunts, he gave such a finish to my education, that, barring
literature and science, I became a universal scholar. As soon as he
saw that I could go alone in the high road to ruin, he went to
qualify others for the same journey,
" During my childhood I had lived at home just as I liked, and did
not sufficiently consider that now I was beginning to be responsible
for my own actions. My father and mother were a standing jest.
Yet they were themselves thrown into convulsions at my sallies ;
and the more ridiculous they were made by them, the more waggish
they thought me. In the meantime I got into all manner of scrapes
with some young fellows of my own kidney ; and, as our relations
kept us rather too short of cash for the exigencies of so loose a life,
we each of us made free with whatever we could lay our hands on
in our own families. Finding this would not raise the supplies, we
began to pick pockets in the streets at night. As ill luck would
have it, our exploits came to the knowledge of the police. A war-
rant was out against us ; but some good-natured friend, thinking it
a pity we should be nipped in the bud, gave us a caution. We took
to our heels, and rose in our vocation to the rank of highwaymen.
From that time forth, gentlemen, with a blessing on my endeavors,
I have gone on till I am almost the father of the profession, in spite
of the dangers to which it is exposed."
Here the captain ended, and it came to the turn of the lieutenant.
"Gentlemen, extremes are said to meet; and so it will appear from
a comparison of our commander's education and mine. My father
was a butcher at Toledo. He passed, with reason, for the greatest
brute in the town, and my mother's sweet disposition was not mended
by the example. In my childhood they whipped me in emulation of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 33
one another; I came in for a thousand lashes of a day! The
dightest fault was followed up by the severest punishment. In vain
did I beg for mercy, with tears in my eyes, and protest that I was
sorry for what I had done. They never excused me, and nine times
out of ten flogged me for nothing. When I was under my father's
lash, my mother, not thinking his arm stout enough, lent her assist-
ance, instead of begging me off. The favors I received at their
hands gave me such a disgust, that I quitted their house before I
had completed my fourteenth year, took the Arragon road, and
begged my way to Saragossa. There I associated with vagrants,
who led a merry enough life. They taught me to counterfeit blind-
ness and lameness, to dress up an artificial wound in each of my
legs, and to adopt many other methods of imposing on the credulity
of the charitable and humane. In the morning, like actors at
rehearsal, we cast our characters, and settled the business of the
comedy. We had each our exits and our entrances, till in the even-
ing the curtain dropped, and we regaled at the expense of the dupes
we had deluded in the day. Wearied, however, with the company
of these wretches, and wishing to live in more worshipful society, I
entered into partnership with a gang of sharpers. These fellows
taught me some good tricks ; but Saragossa soon became too hot to
hold us, after we had fallen out with a limb of the law, who had
hitherto taken us under his protection. We each of us provided for
ourselves, and left the devil to take the hindmost. For my part, I
enlisted in a brave and veteran regiment, which had seen abundance
of service on the king's highway ; and I found myself so comfortable
in their quarters, that I had no desire to change my berth. So
that you see, gentlemen, I was very much obliged to my relations
for their bad behavior ; for if they had treated me a little more
kindly, I might have been a blackguard butcher at this moment,
instead of having the honor to be your lieutenant."
"Gentlemen," interrupted a hopeful young freebooter, who sat
between the captain and the lieutenant, " the stories we have just
heard are neither so complicated nor so curious as mine. I peeped
into existence by means of a country-woman in the neighborhood
of Seville. Three weeks after she had set me down in this system,
a nurse-child was offered her. You are to understand she was yet
in her prime, comely in her person, and. had a good breast of milk.
The young suckling had noble blood in him, and was an only son.
My mother accepted the proposal with all her heart, and went to
fetch the child. It was entrusted to her care. She had no sooner
brought it home, than, fancying a resemblance, she conceived the
idea of substituting me for the brat of high birth, in the hope of
drawing a handsome commission at some future time for this
84 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
motherly office in behalf of her infant. My father, whose morals
were on a level with those of clodhoppers in general, lent himself
very willingly to the cheat, so that, with only a change of clouts,
the son of Don Rodrigo de Herrera was packed off in my name to
another nurse, and my mother suckled her own and her master's
child at once in my little person.
" They may say what they will of instinct and force of blood 1 The
little gentleman's parents were very easily taken in. They had not
the slightest suspicion of the trick, and were eternally dandling me
till I was seven years old. As it was their intention to make me a
finished gentleman, they gave me masters of all kinds ; but I had
very little taste for their lessons, and above all, I detested the
sciences. I would at any time rather play with the servants or the
stable boys, and was a complete kitchen genius. But tossing up for
beads or tails was not my ruling passion. Before seventeen I had
an itch for getting drunk. I played the devil among the chamber-*
maids; but my prime favorite was a kitchen-girl, who had infinity
merit in my eyes. She was a great, bloated horse-godmother, whos<
good ca.se and easy morals suited me exactly. I made love to hei
with so little circumspection that Don Rodrigo took notice of it.
He took me to task pretty sharply, twitted me with my low taste,
and, for fear the presence of my charmer should counteract his sage
counsels, showed the goddess of my devotions the outside of the
door.
" This proceeding was rather offensive, and I determined to be even
with him. I stole his wife's jewels ; and ravishing my Helen from
a laundress of her acquaintance, went off with her in open day, that
the transaction might lose nothing in point of notoriety. But this
was not all. I carried her among her relations, where I married
her according to the rites of the church, as much from the personal
motive 'of mortifying Herrera, as from the patriotic enthusiasm of
encouraging our young nobility to mend the breed. Three months
afler marriage, I heard that Don Rodrigo had gone the way of all
flesh. The intelligence was not lost upon me. I was at Seville in
a twinkling, to administer in due form and order to his effects ; but
the tables were turned. My mother had paid the debt of nature,
and in her last agonies had been so much off her guard as to confess
the whole affair to the curate of the village and other competent
witnesses. Don Rodrigo's son had already taken my place, or
rather his own, and his popularity was increased by the deficiency
of mine; so that as the trumps were all out in that hand, and I had
no particular wish for the present my wife was likely to make me,
I joined issue with some desperate blades, with whom I began my
trading ventures."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 85
The young cut-purse having finished his story, another told us
that he was the son of a merchant at Burgos ; that, in his youth,
prompted more by piety than wit, he had taken the religious habit,
and professed in a very strict order, and that a few years afterwards
he had apostatized. In short, the eight robbers told their tale one
after another, and when I had heard them all, I did not wonder
that the destinies had brought them together. The conversation
now took -a different turn. They brought several schemes upon the
carpet for the next campaign ; and after having laid down their
plan of operations, rose from table and went to bed. They lighted
their night candles, and withdrew to their apartments. I attended
Captain Rolando to his. While 1 was fiddling about him as he un-
dressed : " Well, Gil Bias," said he, " you see how we live 1 We are
always merry ; hatred and envy have no footing here ; we have not
the least diiference, but hang together just like monks. You are
sure, my good lad, to lead a pleasant life here ; for I do not think
you are fool enough to make any bones about consorting with gen-
tlemen of the road. In what does ours differ from many a more
reputable trade ? Depend on it, my friend, all men love two hands
in theii neighbor's purse, though only one in their own. Men's
principles are all alike, the only difference lies in the mode of
carrying them into effect. Conquerors, for instance, make free with
the territories of their neighbors. People of fashion borrow, and
do not pay. Bankers, treasurers, brokers, clerks, and traders of all
kinds, wholesale and retail, give ample liberty to their wants to
overdraw on their conscience. J shall not mention the hangers-on
of the law ; we all know how it goes with them. At the same time
it must be allowed that they have more humanity than we have ;
for as it is often our vocation to take away the life of the innocent
for plunder, it is sometimes theirs for fee and reward to save the
guilty."
CHAPTER TI.
THE ATTEMPT OF GIL BLAS TO ESCAPE, AND ITS STTCCESS.
AFTER the captain of the banditti had thus apologized for
adopting such a line of life, he went to bed. For my part, I
returned to the hall, where I cleared the table, and set every-
thing to rights. Then I went to the kitchen, where Domingo, the
old negro, and Dame Leonarda had been expecting me at supper.
36 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
Though entirely without appetite, I had the good manners to sit
down with them. Not a morsel could I eat ; and as I scarcely felt
more miserable than I looked, this pair, so justly formed to meet by
nature, undertook to give me a little comfort. " Why do you take
on so, my good lad?" said the old dowager: "'you ought rather
to bless your stars for your good luck. You are youn;^, and
seem a little soft; you would have made a fine kettle of fish of it
in the busy world. You might have fallen into bad bands, and
then your morals would have been corrupted ; whereas here your
innocence is insured to its full value." " Dame Leonarda is in the
right," put in the old negro, gravely ; " the world is but a troublesome
place. Be thankful, my friend, for being so early relieved from
the dangers, the difiiculties, and the afflictions of this miserable
life."
I bore this prosing very quietly, because I should have got no
good by putting myself in a passion about it. At length Domingo,
after plying a good knife and fork, and getting gloriously muddled,
took himself off to the stable. Leonarda, by the glimmering of a
lamp, showed me the way to a vault which served as a last home to
those of the corps who died a natural death. Here I stumbled upon
something more like a grave than a bed. " This is your room," said
she. " Your predecessor lay here as long as he was among us, and
here he lies to this day. He suffered himself to be hurried out of
life in his prime : do not you be so foolish as to follow his example."
With this kind advice, she left me with the lamp for my companion
and returned to the kitchen. I threw myself on the little bed, not so
much for rest as meditation. " O Heaven !" exclaimed I, " was there
ever a fate so dreadful as mine I It is determined, then, that I am
to take my leave of daylight ! Besides this, as if it was not enough
to be buried alive at eighteen, my misery is to be aggravated by
being in the service of a banditti ; by passing the day with high-
waymen, and the night in a charnel-house." These reflections, which
seemed to me very dismal, and were indeed no better than they
seemed, set me crying most bitterly. I could not conceive what
cursed maggot my uncle had got into his head to send me to Sala-
manca ; repented running away from Cacabelos, and would have
compounded for the torture. But, considering how vain it was to
shut the door when the steed was stolen, I determined, instead of
lamenting the past, to hit upon some expedient for making my
escape. " What!" thought I, " is it impossible to get off? The cut-
throats are asleep ; cooky and the black will be snoring ere long.
Why cannot I, by the help of this lamp, find the passage by which
I descended into these infernal regions? I am afraid, indeed, my
strength is not equal to lifting the trap at the entrance. However,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 37
let us see. Faint heart never won fair lady. Despair will lend me
new force, and who knows but I may succeed ?"
Thus was the train laid for a grand attempt. I got up as soon
as Leonarda and Domingo were likely to be asleep. With the lamp
in my hand, I stole out of the vault, putting up my prayers to all
the spirits in paradise, and ten miles round. It was with no small
difficulty that I threaded all the windings of this new labyrinth.
At length I found myself at the stable door, and perceived the
passage which was the object of my search. Pushing on, I made
my way towards the trap with a light pair of heels and a beating
heart ; but, alas I in the middle of my career I ran against a cursed
iron grate locked fast, with bars so close as not to admit a hand
between them. I looked rather foolish at the occurrence of this
new difficulty, which I had not been aware of at my entrance, be-
cause the grate was then open. However, I tried what I could do
by fumbling at the bars. Then for a peep at the lock ; or whether it
could not be forced! When all at once my poor shoulders were
saluted with five or six good strokes of a cowhide. I set up such
a shrill alarm that the den of Cacus rang with it; when looking
round, who should it be but the old negro in his shirt, holding a
dark lantern in one hand and the instrument of my punishment in
the other. " O, O !" quoth he, " my merry little fellow, you will run
away, will you ? No, no ! you must not think to set your wits
against mine. I heard you all the while. You thought you should
find the grate open, did you not ? You may take it for granted, my
friend, that henceforth it will always be shut. When we keep any
one here against his will, he must be a cleverer fellow than you to
make his escape."
In the meantime, at the howl I had set up, two or three of the
robbers waked suddenly ; and not knowing but the holy brother-
hood might be falling upon them, they got up and called their com-
rades. Without the loss of a moment, all were on the alert. Swords
and carbines were put in requisition, and the whole posse advanced
forward almost in a state of nature to the place where I was parley-
ing with Domingo. But as soon as they learned the cause of the
uproar, their alarm resolved itself into a peal of laughter. " How
now, Gil Bias," said the apostate son of the church, " you have not
been a good six hours with us, and are you tired of our company
already ? You must have a great objection to retirement. Why,
what would you do if you were a Carthusian friar ! Get along with
you, and go to bed. This time you shall get off with Domingo's
discipline ; but if you are ever caught in a second attempt of the
same kind, by Saint Bartholomew ! we will flay you alive." With
this hint he retired, and the rest of the party went back to their
38 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS.
rooms. The old negro, taking credit to himself for his vigilance,
returned to the stable, and I found my way back to my charnel-
house, where I passed the remainder of the night in weeping and
wailing.
CHAPTEE VII.
GIL BLAS, NOT BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT HE LIKES, DOES WHAT
HE CAN.
FOR the first few days, I thought I should have given up the
ghost for very spite and vexation. The lingering life I led
was nearly akin to death itself; but in the end my good genius
whispered me to play the hypocrite. I aimed at looking a little
more cheerful ; began to laugh and sing, though it was sometimes
on the wrong side of my mouth in a word, I put so good a
face on the matter, that Leonarda and Domingo were completely
taken in. They thought the bird was reconciled to his cage. The
robbers entertained the same notion. I looked as brisk as the
beverage I poured out, and put in my oar whenever I thought I
could say a good thing. My freedom, far from offending, was taken
in good part. " Gil Bias," quoth the captain one evening, while I was
playing the buffoon, " you have done well, my friend, to banish melan-
choly. I am delighted with your wit and humor. Some people
wear a mask at first acquaintance ; I had no notion what a jovial
fellow you were."
My praises now seemed to run from mouth to mouth. They were
all so partial to me, that, not to miss my opportunity, " Gentlemen,"
quoth I, " allow me to tell you a piece of my mind. Since I have been
your guest, a new light breaks in upon me. I have bid adieu to
vulgar prejudices, and caught a ray at the fountain of your illumi-
nation. I feel that I was born to be your knight companion. I
languish to make one among you, and will stand my chance of a
halter with the best." All the company cried " Hear !"— I was con-
sidered as a promising member of the senate. It was then deter-
mined unanimously to give me a trial in some inferior department;
afterwards to bespeak me a good desperate encounter in which I
might show my prowess, and if T answered expectation, to give me
a high and responsible employment in the commonwealth.
It was necessary, therefore, to go on exhibiting a copy of my coun-
tenance, and doing my best in my office of cup-bearer. I was im-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 39
patient beyond measure ; for I only aspired after the honors of the
sitting, to obtain the liberty of going abroad with the rest, and I
was in hopes that by running the risk of getting my neck into one
noose I might get it out of another. This was my only chance.
The time, nevertheless, seemed long to wait, and I kept my eye on
Domingo, with the hope of outwitting him ; but the thing was not
feasible: he was always on the watch. Orpheus as leader of the
band, with a complete orchestra of performers as good as himself,
could not have soothed the savage breast of this Cerberus, The
truth is, by the by, that for fear of exciting his suspicion, I did not
set my wits against him so much as I might have done. He was
on the lookout, and I was obliged to play the prude, or my virtue
might have come into disgrace. I therefore stopped proceedings till
the time of my probation should expire ; to this I impatiently looked
forward, just as if I was waiting for a place under government.
Heaven be praised, in about six months I gained my end. The
commandant Rolando, addressing his regiment, said : " Comrades, we
must stand upon honor with Gil Bias. I have no bad opinion of
our young candidate; we shall make something of him. If you
will take my advice, let him go and reap his first harvest with us
to-morrow on the king's highway. We will lead him on in the path
of honor." The robbers applauded the sentiments of the captain
with a thunder of acclamation ; and to show me how much I was
considered as one of the gang, from that moment they dispensed
with my attendance at the sideboard. Dame Leonarda was re-
instated in the office from which she had been discharged to make
room for me. They made me change my dress, which consisted of
a plain short cassock, a good deal the worse for wear, and tricked
me out in the spoils of a gentleman lately robbed. After this in-
auguration, I made my arrangements for my first campaign.
CHAPTER VIII.
GIL BLAS GOES OUT WITH THE GANG, AND PERFORMS AN EXPLOIT ON
THE HIGHWAY.
IT was past midnight, in the month of September, when I issued
from the subterraneous abode as one of the fraternity. I was
armed, like them, with a carbine, two pistols, a sword and a
bayonet, and was mounted on a very good horse, the property of
4U APVLWTUIiES OF OIL IILAS.
the gentleman in whose costume I appeared. I had lived so long
like a mole under ground, that the daybreak could not fail to dazzle
me ; but my eyes got reconciled to it by degrees.
We passed close by Pontl'errada, and were determined to lie in
ambush behind a small wood skirting the road to Leon. There we
were waiting for whatever fortune might please to throw in our
way, when we espied a Dominican friar, mounted, contrary to the
rubric of those pious fathers, on a shabby mule. " God be praised 1"
exclaimed the captain, with a sneer; "this is a noble beginning for
Gil Bias. Let him go and trounce that monk; we will bear witness
to his qualifications." The connoisseurs were all of opinion that this
commission suited my talents to a hair, and exhorted me to do my
best. " Gentlemen," quoth I, " you shall have no reason to complain.
I will strip this holy father to his birthday suit, and give you com-
plete right and title to his mule." " No, no," said Rolando, '* the beast
would not be worth its fodder ; only bring us our reverend pastor's
purse, that is all we require." Hereupon I issued from the wood
and pushed up to the man of God, doing penance all the time in my
own breast for the sin I was committing. I could have liked to
have turned my back upon my fellows at that moment, but most of
them had the advantage of better horses than mine ; had they seen me
making off, they would have been at my heels, and would soon have
caught me, or perhaps would have fired a volley, for which I was not
sufficiently case-hardened. I could not, therefore, venture on so peril-
ous an alternative ; so that claiming acquaintance with the reverend
father, I asked to look at his purse, and just put out the end of a
pistol. He stopped short to gaze upon me, and, without seeming
much frightened, said, " My child, you are very young ; this is an
early apprenticeship to a bad trade." " Father," replied I, " bad as it
is, I wish I had begun it sooner." " What I my son," rejoined the good
friar, who did not understand the real meaning of what I said, " how
say you? What blindness^I give me leave to place before your eyes
the unhappy condition." " Come, come, father !" interrupted I with
impatience, " a truce to your morality, if you please. My business
on the high road is not to hear sermons. Money makes my mare
go." " Money I" said he, with a look of surprise ; " you have a poor
opinion of Spanish charity, if you think that people of my stamp
have any occasion for such trash upon their travels. Let me un-
deceive you. We are made welcome wherever we go, and pay for
our board and lodgings by our prayers. In short, we carry no cash
with us on the road, but draw drafts upon Providence." " That is all
very well," replied I ; " yet for fear your drafts should be dishonored,
you take care to keep about you a little supply for present need.
But come, father, let ua make an end ; my comrades in the wood are
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 41
in a hurry, so your money or your life." At these words, which I
pronounced with a determined air, the friar began to think the
business grew serious. " Since needs must," said he, " there is where-
withal to satisfy your craving. A word and a blow is the only
rhetoric with you gentlemen." As he said this, he drew a large
leathern purse from under his gown, and threw it on the ground.
I then told him he might make the best of his way, and he did not
wait for a second bidding, but stuck his heels into the mule, which,
giving the lie to my opinion — for I thought it on a par with my
uncle's — set off at a good round pace. While he was riding for his
life, I dismounted. The purse was none of the lightest. I mounted
again, and got back to the wood, where those nice observers were
waiting with impatience to congratulate me on my success. I
could hardly get my foot out of the stirrup, so eager were they
to shake hands with me. ** Courage, Gil Bias," said Rolando ; "you
have done wonders. I have had my eyes on you during your
whole performance, and have watched your countenance. I have
no hesitation in predicting that you will become in time a very
accomplished highwayman." The lieutenant and the rest chimed in
with the prophecy, and assured me that I could not fail of fulfill-
ing it hereafter. I thanked them for the elevated idea they hud
formed of my talents, and promised to do all in my power not to
discredit their penetration.
After they had lavished praises, the effect rather of their candor
than of my merit, they took it into their heads to examine the
booty I had brought under my convoy, " Let us see," said they,
"how a friar's purse is lined." "It should be fat and flourishing,"
continued one of them, " for these good fathers do not mortify the
flesh when they travel." The captain untied the purse, opened it,
and took out two or three handfuls of little copper coins, an Agnus
Dei here and there, and some scapularies. At sight of so novel a
prize, all the privates burst into an immoderate fit of laughter.
"God be praised I" cried the lieutenant, "we are very much obliged to
Gil Bias ; his first attack has produced a supply very seasonable to
our fraternity." One joke brought on another. These rascals, espe-
cially the fellow who had retired from the church to our subterra-
neous hermitage, began to make themselves merry on the subject.
They said a thousand good things, such as showed at once the sharp-
ness of their wits and the profligacy of their morals. They were all
on the broad grin except myself. It was impossible to be butt and
marksman too. Each of them shot their bolt at me, and the cap-
tain said : " Faith, Gil Bias, I would advise you not to set your wit a
second time against the church ; the biter may be bit, for you must
live some time longer among us before you are a match for them."
43 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER IX.
A MOEE SEBIOUS INCIDENT.
WE lounged about the wood for the greater part of the day
without lighting on any traveller to pay toll for the friar.
At length we were beginning to wear our homeward way, as if
confining the feats of the day to this laughable adventure, which
furnished a plentiful fund for conversation, when we got intelli-
gence of a carriage on the road, drawn by four mules. They were
coming at a hard gallop, with three outriders, who seemed to
be well armed. Eolando ordered the troop to halt, and hold a
council, the result of whose deliberations was to attack the enemy.
We were regularly drawn up in battle array, and marched to meet
the caravan. In spite of the applause I had gained in the wood,
I felt an oozing sort of a tremor come over me, with a chill in
my veins and a chattering in my teeth that seemed to bode me
no good. As it never rains but it pours, I was in the front of the
battle, hemmed in between the captain and the lieutenant, who had
given me that post of honor, that I might lose no time in learning
to stand fire. Rolando, observing the low ebb of my animal spirits,
looked askew at me, and muttered in a tone more resolute than
courtly : " Hark ye I Gil Bias, look sharp about you ! I give you fair
notice, that if you play the recreant, I shall lodge a couple of
bullets in your brain." I believed him as firmly as my catechism,
and thought it high time not to neglect the hint ; so that I was
obliged to lay an embargo on the expression of my fears, and to
think only of recommending my soul to God in silence.
While all this M'as going on, the carriage and horsemen drew
near. They suspected what sort of gentry we were, and guessing
our trade by our badge, stopped within gun-shot. They had car-
bines and pistols as well as ourselves. While they were preparing
to give us a brisk reception, there jumped out of the coach a well-
looking gentleman, richly dressed. He mounted a led horse, and
put himself at the head of his party. Though they were but four
against nine, — for the coachman kept his seat on the box, — they
advanced towards us with a confidence calculated to redouble my
terror. Yet I did not forget, though trembling in every joint, to
hold myself in readiness for a shot; but to give a candid relation of
the affair, I blinked and looked the other way in letting off my
piece, so that from the harmlessness of my fire, I was sure not to
have murder to answer for in another world.
I shall not give the particulars of the engagement ; though present>
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 48
I was no eye-witness ; and my fear, while it laid hold of my imagi-
nation, drew a veil over the anticipated horror of the sight. All I
know about the matter is, that after a grand discharge of musketry,
I heard my companions hallooing " Victory ! Victory 1" as if their
lungs were made of leather. At this shout the terror which had
made a forcible entry on my senses was ejected, and I beheld the
four horsemen stretched lifeless on the field of battle. On our side,
we had only one man killed. This was the renegade parson, who
had now filled the measure of his apostasy, and paid for jesting with
scapularies and such sacred things. The lieutenant received a
slight wound in the arm, but the bullet did little more than graze
the skin.
Master Bolando was the first at the coach-door. Within was a
lady of from four to five-and-twenty, beautiful as an angel in his
eyes, in spite of her sad condition. She had fainted during the
conflict, and her swoon still continued. While he was fixed like a
statue on her charms, the rest of us were in profound meditation on
the plunder. We began by securing the horses of the defunct ; for
these animals, frightened at the report of our pieces, had got to a
little distance, after the loss of their riders. For the mules, they
had not wagged a hair, though the coachman had jumped from his
box during the engagement to make his escape. We dismounted
for the purpose of unharnessing, and loading them with some trunks
tied before and behind the carriage. This settled, the captain
ordered the lady, who had not yet recovered her faculties, to be set
on horseback before the best mounted of the robbers ; then, leaving
the carriage and the uncased carcasses by the roadside, we carried
oflf with us the lady, the mules, and the horses.
CHAPTER X.
THE lady's treatment FROM THE ROBBERS. THE RESULT OF THE
GREAT DESIGN CONCEIVED BY GIL BLAS.
THE night had another hour to run, when we arrived at our
subterraneous mansion. The first thing we did was to lead
our cavalry to the stable, where we were obliged to groom them
ourselves, as the old negro had been confined to his bed for three
days, with a violent fit of the gout, and a universal rheumatism.
He had no member supple but his tongue, and that he employed
44 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
in testifying his indignation by tlie most horrible impietica
Leaving tliis wretch tc curse and swear by liimself, we went to the
kitchen to look after the lady. So successful were our attentions,
that we succeeded in recovering her from her fit. But when she
had once more the use of her senses, and saw herself encompassed
by strangers, she knew the extent of her misfortune, and shuddered
at the thought. All that grief and despair together could present
of images the most distressing, appeared depicted in her eyes, which
she lifted up to Heaven, as if in reproach for the indignities she
was threatened with. Then, giving way at once to these dreadful
apprehensions, she fell again into a swoon, her eyelids closed once
more, and the robbers thought that death was going to snatch from
them their prey. The captain, therefore, judging it more to the
purpose to leave her to herself than to torment her with any more
of their assistance, ordered her to be laid on Leonarda's bed, and at
all events to let nature take its course.
We went into the hall, where one of the robbers, who had been
bred a surgeon, looked at the lieutenant's arm and put a plaster to
it. After this scientific operation, it was thought expedient to ex-
amine the baggage. Some of the trunks were filled with laces and
linen, others with various articles of wearing apparel ; but the last
contained some bags of coin — a circumstance highly approved by the
receivers-general of the estate. After this investigation, the cook
set out the sideboard, laid the cloth, and served up supper. Our
conversation ran first on the great victory we had achieved. " On
this subject," said Rolando, directing himself to me, " confess the
truth, Gil Bias : you cannot deny that you were devilishly frightened."
I candidly admitted the fact, but promised to fight like a crusader,
after my second or third campaign. Hereupon all the company
took my part, alleging the sharpness of the action in my excuse,
and that it was very well for a novice, not yet accustomed to the
smell of powder.
We next talked of the mules and horses just added to our sub-
terraneous stud. It was determined to set off the next morning
before daybreak, and sell them at Mansilla, before there was any
chance of our expedition having got wind. This resolution taken,
we finished our supper, and returned to the kitchen to pay our re-
spects to the lady. We found her in the same condition. Never-
theless, though the dregs of life seemed almost exhausted, some of
these poachers could not help casting a wicked leer at her, .and
giving visible signs of a motion within them, which w^ould have
broken out into overt act, had not Eolando put a spoke in their
wheel, by representing that they ought at least to wait till the lady
had got rid of her terrors and squeamishness, and could come in for
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 45
her share of the amusement. Their respect for the captain operated
as a check to the incontinence of their passions. Nothing else could
have saved the lady ; nor would death itself probably have secured
her from violation.
, Again therefore did we leave this unhappy female to her melan-
choly fate. Eolando contented himself with charging Leonarda to
take care of her, and we all separated for the night. For my part,
when I went to bed, instead of courting sleep, my thoughts were
wholly taken up with the lady's misfortunes. I had no doubt of
her being a woman of quality, and thought her lot on that account
so much the more piteous. I could not paint to myself, without
shuddering, the horrors which awaited her , and felt myself as sen-
sibly affected by them, as if united to her by the ties of blood or
friendship. At length, after having sufficiently bewailed her destiny,
I mused on the means of preserving her honor from its present
danger, and myself from a longer abode in this dungeon. I con-
sidered that the old negro could not stir, and recollected that since
his illness the cook had the key of the grate. That thought warmed
my fancy, and gave birth to a project not to be hazarded lightly :
the stages of its execution were the following : —
I pretended to have the colic. A lad in the colic cannot help whin •
Ing and groaning ; but I went further, and cried out lustily, as loud
as my lungs would let me. This roused my gentle friends, and
brought them about me, to know what the deuce was the matter. I
informed them that I had a swinging fit of the gripes, and to humor
the idea, gnashed my teeth, made all manner of wry faces till I
looked like a bedlamite, and twisted my limbs as if I had been going
to be delivered of a heath«n oracle. Then I became calm all at once,
as if my pains had abated. The next minute, I flounced up and
down upon my bed, and threw my arms about at random. In a
word, I played my part so well, that these more experienced per-
formers, knowing as they were, suffered themselves to be thrown
off their guard, and to believe that my malady was real. All at
once did they busy themselves for my relief. One brought me a
bottle of brandy, and forced me to gulp down half of it ; another, in
spite of my remonstrances, applied oil of sweet almonds in a very
offensive manner: a third went and made a napkin burning hot, to
be clapped upon my stomach. In vain did I cry mercy ; they at-
tributed my noise to the violence of my disorder, and went on in-
flicting positive evil by way of remedy for that which was artificial.
At last, able to bear it no longer, I was obliged to swear that I was
better, and entreat them to give me quarter. They left off killing
me with kindness, and I took care not to complain any more, for
fear of experiencing their tender attentions a second time..-
46 ADVEXTUJiES OF OIL BLAS.
This scene lasted nearly three hours; after which the robbers,
calculating it to be near daybreak, prepared for their journey to
Mansilla. I was for getting up, as if I had set my heart on being
of the party ; but that they would not allow. " No, no, Gil Bias," said
Signor Rolando, *' stay here, my lad : your colic may return. Yo^
shall go with us another time ; to-day you are not in travelling con-
dition." I did not think it prudent to urge my attendance too much,
for fear of being taken at my word ; but only affected great dis-
appointment, with so natural an air, that they all went off without
the slightest misgiving of my design. After their departure, for
which I had prayed most fervently, 1 said to myself: " Now is your
time, Gil Bias, to be firm and resolved. Arm yourself with courage
to go through with an enterprise so propitiously begun. Domingo
is tied by the leg, and Leonarda may show her teeth, but she cannot
bite. Pounce down upon opportunity while it offers; you may
wait long enough for another," Thus did I spirit myself up in
soliloquy Having got out of bed, I laid hold of my sword and
pistols, and away I went to the kitchen. But before I made my
appearance, I stopped to hear what Leonarda was talking about to
the fair incognita who was come to her senses, and on a view of her
misfortune in its extremity, took on most desperately. "That is
right, my girl," said the old hag, " cry your eyes but, sob away plenti-
fully, you know the good effect of woman's tears. The sudden
shock was too much for you : but the danger is over, now the en-
gines can play. Your grief will abate by little and little, and you
will get reconciled to living with our gentlemen, who are very good
sort of people. You will be better off" than a princess. You do not
know how fond they will be of you. Not a day will pass without
your being obliged to some of them. Many a woman would give
one of her eyes to be in your place."
I did not allow Leonarda time to go on any longer with this bab-
bling. In I went, and putting a pistol to her breast, insisted with
a menacing air on her delivering up the key of the grate. She did
not know what to make of my behavior ; and though almost in the
last stage of life, had such a propensity to linger on the road, as not
to venture on a refusal. With the key in my hand, I directed the
following speech to thedistressed objectof my compassion : " Madam,
Heaven sends you a deliverer in me ; follow, and I will see you safe
whithersoever you wish to be conducted." The lady was not deaf to
my proposal, which made such an impression on her grateful heart,
that she jumped up with all the strength she had left, threw herself
at my feet, and conjured me to save her honor. I raised her from
the ground, and assured her she might rely on me. I then took
Bome ropes which were opportunely in the kitchen, and with her
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 47
assistance tied Leonards to the legs of a large table, protesting that
I would kill her if she only breathed a murmur. After that, light-
ing a candle, I went with the incognita to the treasury, where I
filled my pockets with pistoles, single and double, as full as they
could hold. To encourage the lady not to be scrupulous, I begged
she would think herself at home, and make free with her own.
With our finances thus recruited, we went towards the stable, where
I marched in with my pistols cocked. I was of opinion that the
old blackamoor, for all his gout and rheumatism, would not let me
saddle and bridle my horse peaceably, and my resolution was to put
the finishing hand to all his ailments, if he took it into his head to
play the churl ; but, by good luck, he was at that moment in such
pain, that I stole the steed without his perceiving that the door was
open. The lady in the meantime was waiting for me. We were
not long in threading the passage leading to the outlet, but reached
the grate, opened it, and at last got to the trap. Much ado there
was to lift it, which we could not have done but for the new strength
we borrowed from the hopes of our escape.
Day was beginning to dawn when we emerged from that abyss.
Our first object was to get as far from it as possible. I jumped into
the saddle ; the lady got up behind me, and taking the first path
that offered, we soon galloped out of the forest. Coming to some
cross-roads, we took our chance. I trembled for fear of its leading
to Mansilla, and our encountering Rolando and his comrades.
Luckily my apprehensions were unfounded. We got to Astorga by
two o'clock in the afternoon. The people looked at us as if they
had never seen such a sight before as a woman riding behind a
man. We alighted at the first inn. I immediately ordered a part-
ridge and a young rabbit to the spit. While my orders were in a
train of execution, the lady was shown to a room, where we began
to scrape acquaintance with one another, which we had not done
on the road, on account of the speed we made. She expressed a
high sense of my services, and told me that after so gentlemanly a
conduct, she could not allow herself to think me one of the gang
from whom I had rescued her. I told her my story, to confirm her
good opinion. By these means, I entitled myself to her confidence,
and to the knowledge of her misfortunes, which she recounted to the
following effect.
M^^S^^
48 ADVEMUHES OF OIL BLAS.
CHAPTER XI.
THE HISTORY OF DONNA MENXIA DE MOSQTJERA.
" T WAS born at Valladolid, and am called Donna Mencia de
I Mosquera. My father, Don Martin, after spending most of
his family estate in the service, was killed in Portugal at the head
of his regiment. He left me so little property, that I was a bad
match, though an only daughter. I was not, however, without my
admirers, notwithstanding the mediocrity of my fortune. Several
of the most considerable cavaliers in Spain sought me in marriage.
My favorite was Don Alvar de Mello. It is true he had a prettier
person than his rivals ; but more solid qualities determined me in
his favor. He had wit, discretion, valor, probity ; and in addition
to all these, an air of fashion. Was an entertainment to be given,
his taste was sure to be displayed. If he appeared in the lists, he
always fixed the eyes of the beholders on his strength and dexterity.
I singled him out from among all the rest, and married him.
" A few days after our nuptials, he met Don Andrew de Baesa, who
had been his rival, in a private place. They attacked one another
sword in hand, and Don Andrew fell. As he was nephew to the
corregidor of Valladolid, a turbulent man, violently incensed against
the house of Mello, Don Alvar thought he could not soon enough
make his escape. He returned home speedily, and told me what
had happened while his horse was getting ready. * My dear Mencia,*
said he at length, ' we must part. You know the corregidor ; let
us not flatter ourselves : he will hunt me even to death. You are
unacquainted with his influence ; this empire will be too hot to hold
me.' He was so penetrated by his own grief and mine, as not to be
able to articulate further. I made him take some cash and jewels ;
then he folded me in his arms, and we did nothing but mingle our
sighs and tears for a quarter of an hour. In a short time the horse
was at the door. He tore himself from me, and left me in a condi-
tion not easily to be expressed. It had been well if the excess of
my affliction had destroyed me! How much pain and trouble
might I have escaped by death ! Some hours after Don Alvar had
gone, the corregidor became acquainted with his flight. He set up
a hue and cry after him, sparing no pains to get him into his power.
My husband, however, eluded his pursuit, and got into safe quar-
ters; so that the judge, finding himself reduced to confine his
vengeance to the poor satisfaction of confiscating, where he meant
to execute, labored to good purpose in his vocation. Don Alvar'a
little property all went to the hammer.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 49
"I remained in a very comfortless situation, with scarcely the
means of subsistence. A retired life was best suited to my circum-
stances, with a single female servant. I passed my hours in lament-
ing, not an indigence, which I bore patiently, but the absence of a
beloved husband, of whom I received no accounts. He had indeed
pledged himself, in the melancholy moments of our parting, to be
punctual in acquainting me with his destiny, to whatever part of
the world his evil star might conduct him. And yet seven years
rolled on without ray hearing of him. My suspense respecting his
fate afflicted me most deeply. At last I heard of his falling in
battle, under the Portuguese banner, in the kingdom of Fez. A
man newly returned from Africa brought me the account, with the
assurance that he had been well acquainted with Don Alvar de
Mello, had served with him in the army, and had seen him drop in
the action. To this narrative of facts he added several collateral
circumstances, which left me no room to doubt of my husband's
premature death.
" About this time, Don Ambrosio Mesia Carrillo, Marquis de la
Guardia, arrived at Valladolid. He was one of those elderly noble-
men, who, with that good breeding acquired by long experience in
courts, throw their years into the background, and retain the faculty
of making themselves agreeable to our sex. One day, he happened
by accident to hear the story of Don Alvar ; and from the part I
bore in it and the description of my person, there arose a desire of
being better acquainted. To satisfy his curiosity, he made interest
with one of my relations to invite me to her house. The gentleman
was one of the party. This first interview made not the less im-
pression on his heart for the traces of sorrow which were too obvious
on my countenance. He was touched by its melancholy and lan-
guishing expression, which gave him a favorable forecast of my
constancy. Respect, rather than any warmer sentiment, might
perhaps be the inspirer of his wishes ; for he told me more than
once what a miracle of good faith he considered me, and my
husband's fate as enviable in this respect, however lamentable in
others. In a word, he was struck with me at first sight, and did not
wait for a review of my pretensions, but at once took the resolution
of making me his wife.
" The intervention of my kinswoman was adopted as the means of
inducing me to accept his proposal. She paid me a visit ; and in
the course of conversation, pleaded, that as my husband had sub-
mitted to the decree of Providence in the kingdom of Fez, according
to very credible accounts, it was no longer rational to coop up my
charms. I had shed tears enough over the man to whom I had been
united but for a few moments, as it were, and I ought to avail myself
4
50 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
of the present offer, and had nothing to do but to step into happiness
at once. In furtherance of these arguments, she set forth the old
marquis's pedigree, his wealth, and high character ; but in vain did
her eloquence expatiate on his endowments, for I was not to be
moved. Not that my mind misgave me respecting Don Alvar's
death, nor that the apprehension of his sudden and unwelcome
appearance hereafter checked my inclinations. My little liking,
or rather my extreme repugnance to a second marriage, after the
sad issue of the first, was the sole obstacle opposed to my relation's
urgency. Neither w^as she disheartened ; on the contrary, her zeal
for Don Ambrosio resorted to endless stratagems. All my family
were pressed into the old lord's service. So beneficial a match was
not to be trifled with ! They were eternally besetting, dunning, and
tormenting me. In fact, my despondency, which increased from
day to day, contributed not a little to my yielding.
" As there was no getting rid of him, I gave way to their eager
suit, and was wedded to the Marquis de la Guardia. The day after
the nuptials, we went to a very fine castle of his near Burgos, between
Grajal and Eodillas. He conceived a violent love for me ; the
desire of pleasing was visible in all his actions, the anticipation of
my slenderest wishes was his earliest and latest study. No husband
ever regarded his wife more tenderly, no lover could pour forth
more devotion to his mistress. Nor would it have been possible
for me to steel my heart against a return of passion, though our
ages were so disproportioned, had not every soft sentiment been
buried in Don Alvar's grave. But the avenues of a constant heart
are barred against a second inmate. The memory of my first
husband threw a damp on all the kind efforts of the second. Mere
gratitude was a cold retribution for such tenderness; but it was all
I had to give.
" Such was my temper of mind, when, taking the air one day at a
window in my apartment, I perceived a peasant-looking man in the
garden, viewing me with fixed attention. He appeared to be a
common laborer. The circumstance soon passed out of my thoughts,
but the next day, having again taken my station at the window, I
saw him on the self-same spot, and again found myself the objectof his
eager gaze. This seemed strange ! I looked at him in my turn, and,
after an attentive scrutiny, thought I could trace the features of the
unhappy Don Alvar. This seeming visit from the tomb roused all
the dormant agony of my soul, and extorted from me a piercing
scream. Happily, I was then alone with In^s, who of all my
women engaged the largest share of my confidence. I told her
what surmise had so agitated my spirits. She only laughed at the
idea, and took it for granted that a slight resemblance had imposed on
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 51
my fancy. ' Take courage, madam,' said she, ' and do not be afraid
of seeing your jfirst husband. What likelihood is there of his being
here in the disguise of a peasant? Is it even within the reach of
credibility that he is still alive ? However, I v/ill go down into the
garden and talk with this rustic. I will answer for finding out who
he is, and will return in all possible haste with my intelligence.'
Ines ran on her errand like a lapwing; she soon returned to my
apartment with a face of mingled astonishment and emotion.
' Madam,' exclaimed she, 'your conjecture is but too well grounded ;
it is indeed Don Alvar whom you have seen ; he made himself
known at once, and pleads for a private interview.'
" As I had the means of admitting Don Alvar instantaneously, by
the absence of the Marquis at Burgos, I commissioned my waiting-
maid to introduce him into my closet by a private staircase. Well
may you imagine the hurry and agitation of my spirits. How
could I support the presence of a man who was entitled to over-
whelm me with reproaches? I fainted at his very footfall as he
entered. They were about me in a moment — he as well as lues ;
and when they had recovered me from my swoon, Don Alvar said :
' Madam, for Heaven's sake compose yourself. My presence shall
never be the cause of pain to you ; nor would I for the world expose
you to the slightest anxiety. I am no savage husband, come to
account with you for a sacred pledge ; nor do I impute to criminal
motives the second contract you have formed. I am well aware
that it was owing to the importunity of your friends ; your persecu-
tions from that quarter are not unknown to me. Besides, the report
of my death was current in Valladolid ; and you had so much the
more reason to give it credit, as no letter from me gave you any
assurance to the ccntrary. In short, I am no stranger to your
hcbits of life since our cruel separation, and know that necessity,
not lightness of heart, has thrown you into the arms' . . . ' Ah I sir,'
interrupted I with sobs, * why will you make excuses for your un-
worthy wife? She is guilty, since you survive. Why am I not still
in the forlorn state in which I languished before my marriage with
Don Ambrosio? Fatal nuptials! Alas I but for these, I should
at least have had the consolation in my wretchedness of seeing the
object of my first vows again without a blush.*
" ' My dear Mencia,' replied Don Alvar, with a look which marked
how deeply he was penetrated by my contrition, ' I make no com-
plaint of you ; and far from upbraiding you with your present pros-
perity, as Heaven is my witness, I return it thanks for the favors it
has showered on you. Since the sad day of my departure from
Valladolid, my own fate has ever been adverse. My life has been
but a tissue of misfortunes, and, as a surcharge of evil destiny, I hud
62 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
no means of letting you hear from me. Too secure in your aflfec-
tion, I could neither think nor dream but of the condition to which
my fatal love might have reduced you. Donna Mencia in tears
was the lovely, but killing spectre that haunted me; of all my
miseries, yo«r dear idea was the most acute. Sometimes, I own, I
felt remorse for the transporting crime of having pleased you. I
wished you had lent an ear to the suit of some happier rival, since
the preference with which you had honored me was to fall so
cruelly on your own head. To cut short my melancholy tale, after
seven years of suffering, more enamored than ever, I determined to
see you once again. The impulse was not to be resisted ; and the
expiration of a long slavery having furnished me with the power
of giving way to it, I have been at Valladolid under this disguise
at the hazard of a discovery. There, I learned the whole story. I
then came to this castle, and found the means of admission into the
gardener's service, who has engaged me as a laborer. Such was my
stratagem to obtain this private interview. But do not suppose me
capable of blasting, by my continuance here, the happiness of your
future days. I love you better than my own life ; I have no con-
sideration but for your repose; and it is my purpose, after thus
unburdening ray heart, to finish in exile the sacrifice of an existence
which has lost its value, since no longer to be devoted to your ser-
vice.'
" * No, Don Alvar, no,' exclaimed I at these words ; ' you shall never
quit me a second time. I will be the companion of your wander-
ings; and death only shall divide us from this hour.' 'Take my
advice,' replied he, * live with Don Ambrosio ; unite not yourself with
my miseries, but leave me to stand under their undivided weight.'
These and other such entreaties he used ; but the more willing he
seemed to sacrifice himself to my welfare, the less did I feel disposed
to take advantage of his generosity. When he saw me resolute in
my determination to follow him, he all at once changed his tone,
and assuming an aspect of more satisfaction, ' Madam,' said he, ' since
you love Don Alvar well enough to prefer adversity with him before
your present ease and afiluence, let us then take up our abode at
B6tancos, in the interior of Galicia. There I have a safe retreat.
Tliough my misfortunes may have stripped me of all my effects,
they have not alienated all my friends ; some are yet faithful, and
have furnished me with the means of carrying you off. With their
help I have hired a carriage at Zamora ; have bought mules and
horses, and am accompanied by perhaps the three boldest of the
Galicians. They are armed with carbines and pistols, waiting my
orders et the village of Eodillas. Let us avail ourselves of Don
Ambrosio'a absence. I will send the carriage to the castle gate, and
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 53
we will set out without loss of time.' I consented. Don Alvar flew
towards Rodillas, and shortly returned with his escort. My women,
from the midst of whom I was carried off, not knowing what to
think of this violent proceeding, made their escape in great terror.
In^s only was in the secret ; but she would not link her fate with
mine, on account of a love affair with Don Ambrosio's favorite man.
" I got into the carriage, therefore, with Don Alvar, taking nothing
with me but my clothes and some jewels of my own before my
second marriage ; for I could not think of appropriating any pre-
sents of the Marquis. We travelled in the direction of Galicia,
without knowing if we should be lucky enough to reach it. We
had reason to fear Don Ambrosio's pursuit on his return, and that
we should be overtaken by superior numbers. We went forward
for two days without any alarm, and in the hope of being equally
fortunate the third, had got into a very quiet conversation. Don
Alvar was relating the melancholy adventure which had occasioned
the rumor of his death, and how he recovered his freedom, after five
years of slavery, when yesterday we met upon the Leon road the
banditti you were with. He it is whom they killed, with all hia
attendants, and it is for him the tears flow which, you see me
shedding at this moment."
CHAPTER XII.
A DISAGEEEABLE INTERBUPTION.
DONNA MENCIA melted into tears as she finished this
recital. I allowed her to give a free passage to her sighs ;
I even wept myself for company, so natural is it to be interested
for the afflicted, and especially for a lovely female in distress.
I was just going to ask her what she meant to do in the present
conjuncture, and possibly she was going to consult me on the
same subject, if our conversation had not been interrupted ; but
we heard a great noise in the inn, which drew our attention whether
we would or no. It was no less than the arrival of the corregidor,
attended by two alguazils and their marshalmen. They came into
the room where we were. A young gentleman in their train came
first up to me, and began taking to pieces the different articles of
my dress. He had no occasion to examine them long. " By St.
James," exclaimed he, " this is my identical doublet 1 It is the very
64 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
thing, and as safely challenged as my horse. You niay commit
this spark on my recognizance ; he is one of the gang who have an
undiscovered retreat in this country."
At this discourse, which gave me to understand my accuser to be
the gentleman robbed, whose spoils, to my confusion, were exclusively
my own, I was without a word to say for myself, looking one way
and the other, and not knowing where to fix ray eyes. The corre-
gidor, whose office was suspicion, set me down for the culprit ; and
presuming on the lady for an accomplice, ordered us into separate
custody. This magistrate was none of your stern gallows-preaching
fellows : he had a jocular, epigrammatic sort of countenance. God
knows if his heart lay in the right place for all that 1 As soon as I
was committed, in came he with his pack. They knew their trade,
and began by searching me. What a forfeit to these lords of the
manor 1 At every handful of pistoles, what little eyes did I see
them make I The corregidor was absolutely out of his wits I It
was the best stroke within the memory of justice 1 " My pretty lad,"
said his worship, with a softened tone, ''.we only do our duty, but do
not you tremble for your bones before the time ; you will not be
broken on the wheel if you do not deserve it." These blood-suckers
were emptying my pockets all the time with their cursed palaver,
and took from me what their betters of the shades below had the
decency to leave — my uncle's forty ducats. They stuck at nothing.
Their stanch fingers, with slow but certain scent, routed me out
from top to toe ; they whisked me round and round, and stripped
me even to the shame of modesty, for fear some sneaking portrait of
the king should slink between my shirt and skin. When they
could sift me no further, the corregidor thought it time to begin his
examination. I told a plain tale. My deposition was taken down ;
and the sequel was, that he carried in his train his bloodhounds,
and my little property, leaving me to toss without a rag upon a
beggarly wisp of straw.
" Oh, the miseries of human life I" groaned I, when I found myself
in this merciless and solitary condition. Our adventures here are
whimsical, and out of all time and tune. From my first outset
from Oviedo, I had got into a pleasant round of difficulties ; hardly
had I worked myself out of one danger, before I soused into another.
Coming into town here, how could I expect the honor of the corre-
gidor's acquaintance? While thus communing with my own
thoughts, I got once more into the cursed doublet and the rest of
the paraphernalia which had got me into such a scrape; then pluck^
ing up a little courage, "Never mind, Gil Bias," thought I, "do not be
chicken-hearted. What is a prison above ground, after so brimstone
a snuffle as thou hast had of the regions below ? But, alas 1 1 halloo
ADVENTUBES OF GIL BIAS. 56
before I am out of the wood I I am in more experienced hands
than those of Leonarda and Domingo. My key will not open this
grate 1 I might as well say so, for a prisoner without money is like
a bird with its wings clipped ; one must be in full feather to flutter
out of distance of these jail-birds."
But we left a partridge and a young rabbit on the spit 1 How
they got oif I know not; but my supper was a bit of sallow-
complexioned bread, with a pitcher of water to render it amenable
to mastication 1 and thus was I destined to bite the bridle in my
dungeon. A fortnight was pretty well without seeing a soul but
my keeper, who had orders that I should want for nothing in the
bread and water way ! Whenever be made his appearance, I was
inclined to be sociable, and to parfey a little to get rid of the blue
devils ; but this majestic minister was above reply, he was mum I he
scarcely trusted his eyes but to see that I did not slip by him. On
the sixteenth day, the corregidor strutted in to this tune, " You are a
lucky fellow ! I have news for you. The lady is packed off for
Burgos. She came' under my examination before her departure,
and her answers went to your exculpation. You wiU be at large
this very day if your carrier from Pegnaflor to Cacabelos agrees in the
same tale. He is now in Astorga. I have sent for him, and expect
him here ; if he confirms the story of the torture, you are your own
master."
At these words I was ready to jump out of my skin for joy. The
business was settled I I thanked the magistrate for the abridgment
of justice with which he had deigned to favor me, and was getting
to the fag end of my compliment, when the muleteer arrived,. with
an attendant before and behind. I knew the fellow's face ; but he,
having as a matter of course sold my cloak-bag with the contents,
from a deep-rooted afiection to the money which the sale had
brought, swore lustily that he had no acquaintance with me, and
had never seen me in the whole course of his life. "Oh, you
villain !" exclaimed I, " go down on your knees and own that you have
sold my clothes. Prythee, have some regard to truth t Look in my
face; am not I one of those shallow young fellows whom you had the
wit to threaten with the rack in the corporate town of Cacabelos?"
The muleteer turned upon his toe, and protested he had not the
honor of my acquaintance. As he persisted in his disavowal, I was
recommitted for further examination. Patience once morel It
was only reducing feasts and fasts to the level of bread and water,
and regaling the only sense I had the means of using with the sight
of my tongue-tied warden. But when I reflected how little inno-
cence would avail to extricate me from the clutches of the law, the
thought was death ; I panted for my subterraneous paradise. " Take it
66 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
for all in all," said I, "there were fewer grievances than in this
dungeon. I was hail fellow well met with the banditti ! I bandied
about my jokes with the best of them, and lived on the sweet hope
of an escape, whereas my innocence here will only be a passport to
the galleys."
CHAPTER XIII.
THB LtJCKY MEANS BY WHICH GIL BLAS ESCAPED FEOM PRISON, AND
HIS TRAVELS AFTERWARDS.
WHILE I passed the hours in tickling my fancy with my own
gay thoughts, my adventures, word for word, as I had set
my hand to them, were current about the town. The people wanted
to make a show of me I One after another, there they came,
peeping in at a little window of my prison, not too capacious of
daylight ; and when they had looked about them, off they went !
This raree-show was a novelty. Since my commitment, there had
not been a living creature at that window, which looked into a court
where silence and horror kept guard. This gave me to understand
that I was become the town-talk, and I knew not whether to divine
good or evil from the omen.
One of my first visitors was the little chorister of Mondognedo,
who had a fellow-feeling with me for the rack, and an equally light
pair of heels. I knew him at once, and he had no qualms about
acknowledging me as an acquaintance. "We exchanged a kind
greeting, then compared notes since our separation. I was obliged
to relate my adventures in due form and order. The chorister, on
his part, told me what had happened in the inn at Cacabelos, be-
tween the muleteer and the bride, after we had taken to our heels in
a panic. Then, with a friendly assurance at parting, he promised me
to leave no stone unturned for my release. His companions, of
mere curiosity, testified their pity for my misfortune, assuring me
that they would lend a helping hand to the little chorister, and do
their utmost to procure my freedom.
They were no worse than their word. The corregidor was applied
to in my favor, who, no longer doubtful of my innocence, above all
when he had heard the chorister's story, came three weeks after-
wards into my cell I " Gil Bias," said he, "I never stand shilly-shally-
ing: begone; you are free; you may take yourself off whenever you
please. But, tell me, if you were carried into the forest, could you
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 67
not discover the subterraneous retreat ?" " No, sir," replied I : " as I
only entered in the night, and made my escape before daybreak, it
would be impossible to fix upon the spot." Thereupon the magis-
trate withdrew, assuring me that the jailer should be ordered to
give me free egress. In fact, the very next moment the turnkey
came into my dungeon, followed by one of his outriding establish-
ment, with a bundle of clothes under his arm. They both of them
stripped me with the utmost solemnity, and without uttering a
single syllable, of my doublet and breeches, which had the honor to
be made of a bettermost cloth almost new; then, having rigged me
in an old frock, they shoved me out of their hospitable mansion by
the shoulders.
The state I was in to see myself so ill equipped, acted as a cooler
to the usual transport of prisoners at recovering their liberty. I
was tempted to escape from the town without delay, that I might
withdraw from the gaze of the people, whose prying eyes I could
not encounter but with pain. My gratitude, however, got the better
of my diffidence. I went to thank the little chorister, to whom I
was so much obliged. He could not help chuckling when he saw
me. " That is your trim, is it ?" said he. " As far as I see, you cannot
complain that your case has not been sifted to the bottom." " I have
nothing to say against the laws of my country," replied I ; "they are
as just as need be. I only wish their officers would take after them.
They might have spared me my suit of clothes ! I have paid for
them over and over again." " I am quite of your mind,''' rejoined he ;
"but they would tell you that these are little formalities of old
standing, which cannot be dispensed with. What 1 are you foolish
enough to suppose, for instance, that your horse has been restored
to its right owner ? Not a word of it, if you please : the beast is at
this present in the stables of the register, where it has been im-
pounded as a witness to be brought into court; if the poor gentle-
man comes oiF with the crupper, he will be so much in pocket.
But let us change the subject. What is your plan? What do you
mean to do with yourself?" " I have an inclination," said I, " to take
the road for Burgos. I may light on my rescued lady ; she will give
me a little ready cash, I shall then buy a new short cassock, and
betake myself to Salamanca, where I shall see what I can make of
my Latin. All my trouble is, how to get to Burgos : one must live
on the road." " I understand you," replied he. "Take my purse: it is
rather thinly lined, to be sure ;.but you know a chorister's dividends
are not like a bishop's." At the same time he drew it from his pouch,
and inserted it between my hands with so good a grace, that I could
not do otherwise than accept it, for want of a better. I thanked
him as though he had made me a present of a gold mine, and ten-
58 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
dered him a thousand promises of recompense, to be duly honored
and punctually paid at doomsday. With this I left him, and
skulked out of town, not paying my respects to my other benefac-
tors ; but giving them a thousand blessings from my heart.
The little chorister had reason for speaking modestly of his purse ;
it was not orthodox. By good luck, I had been used for these two
months to a very slender diet, and had still a little small change
left when I reached Ponte de Mula, not far from Burgos. I halted
there to inquire after Donna Mencia. The hostess of the inn I put
up at was a little withered, spiteful, emaciated bit of mortality. I
saw at a glance, by the mouths she made at me aside, that my frock
did not hit her fancy ; and I thought it a proof of her taste. So I
sat myself down at a table, ate bread and cheese, and drank a few
glasses of execrable wine, such as innkeepers technically call casse-
coquin. During this meal, which was of a piece with the outward
appearance of the guest, I did my utmost to come to closer quarters
with my landlady. Did she know the Marquis de la Guardia?
Was his castle far out of town ? Above all, what was become of my
lady marchioness ? " You ask many questions in a breath," replied
she, bridling with disdain. But I got out of her, though by hard
pumping, that Don Ambrosio's castle was but a short league from
Ponte de Mula.
After I had done eating and drinking, as it was night, I thought
it natural to go to bed, and asked for my room. " A room for you 1"
shrieked my landlady, darting at me a glance of contempt and
pride ; " I have no rooms for fellows who make their supper on a bit
of cheese. All my beds are bespoke. There are people of fashion
expected, and our accommodations are all kept for them. But I
will not be unchristian : you may lie in my barn ; I suppose your
soft skin will not be incommoded by the feel of straw." She spoke
truth without knowing it. I took it all in silence, and slunk to my
roosting-place, where I fell asleep like a man the excess of whose
labors are his ready passport to the blessings of repose.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 59
CHAPTER XIV.
DONNA MENCIA'S RECEPTION OF HIM AT BXTKGOS.
I WAS no sluggard, but got up the next morning betimes. I
paid my bill to the landlady, who was already stirring, and
seemed a little less lofty and in better humor than the evening
before — ^a circumstance I attributed to the endeavors of three kind
guardsmen belonging to the holy brotherhood. These gentlemen
had slept in the inn : they were evidently on a very intimate foot-
ing with the hostess, and doubtless it was for guests of such note
that all the beds were bespoke.
I inquired in the town my way to the castle where I wanted to
present myself. By accident I made up to a man not unlike my
landlord at Pegnaflor. He was not satisfied with answering my
question to the point, but informed me that Don Ambrosio had
been dead three weeks, and the marchioness his lady had taken the
resolution of retiring to a convent at Burgos, which he named. I
proceeded immediately towards that town, instead of taking the
road to the castle, as I had at first meant to do, and flew at once to
the place of Donna Mencia's retreat. I besought the attendant at
the turning-box to tell that lady that a young man just discharged
from prison at Astorga wanted to speak with her. The nun went
on the message immediately. On her return, she showed me into a
parlor, where I did not wait long before Don Ambrosio's widow ap-
peared at the grate in deep mourning.
" You are welcome," said the lady. " Four days ago I wrote to a
person at Astorga, to pay you a visit as from me, and to tell you to
come and see me the moment you were released from prison. I had
no doubt of your being discharged shortly : what I told the corre-
gidor in your exculpation was enough for that. An answer waa
brought that you had been set at liberty, but that no one knew what
was become of you. I was afraid of not seeing you any more, and
losing the pleasure of expressing my gratitude. Never miud," added
she, observing my confusion at making my appearance in so
wretched a garb ; " your dress is of very little consequence. After
the important services you have rendered me, I should be the most
ungrateful of my sex if I were to do nothing for you in return. I
undertake, therefore, to better your condition : it is my duty, and
the means are in my power. My fortune is large enough to pay my
debt of obligation to you, without inconvenience to myself.
" You know," continued she, " my story up to the time when we both
were (Jomraitted to prison. I will now tell you what has happened
60 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
to me since. When the corregidor at Astorga had sent me to
Burgos, after having heard from my own lips a faithful recital of
my adventures, I presented myself at the castle of Ambrosio. My
return thither excited extreme surprise : but they told me that it
was too late ; the marquis, as if he had been thunderstruck at my
flight, fell sick; and the physicians despaired of his recovery.
Here was a new incident in the melancholy tragedy of my fate.
Yet I ordered my arrival to be announced. The next moment I
ran into his chamber, and threw myself on my knees by his bedside,
with a face running down with tears and a heart oppressed with
the most lively sorrow. ' Who sent for you hither?' said he as soon
as he saw me ; * are you come to contemplate your own contrivance ?
Was it not enough to have deprived me of life ? But was it neces-
sary to satisty your heart's desire to be an eye-witness of my death?'
' My lord,' replied I, ' Ines must have told you that I fled with my
first husband ; and, had it not been for the sad accident which has
taken him from me forever, you never would have seen me more.'
At the same time I acquainted him that Don Alvar had been killed
by banditti, whose captive I had consequently been in a subter-
raneous dungeon. After relating the particulars of my story to the
end, Don Ambrosio held out to me his hand. ' It is enough,' said he,
affectionately : ' I will make no more complaints. Alas ! Have I
in fact any right to reproach you? You were thrown once more in
the way of a beloved husband, and gave me up to follow his for-
tunes; can I blame such an instance of your affection? No,
madam, it would have been vain to resist the will of fate. For
that reason I gave orders not to pursue you. In my rival himself
I could not but respect the sacred rights with which he was invested,
and even the impulse of your flight seemed to have been communi-
cated by some superior power. To close all with an act of justice,
and in the spirit of reconciliation, your return hither has reestab-
lished you completely in my affection. Yes, my dear Mencia, your
presence fills me with joy ; but, alas ! I shall not long be sensible to
it. I feel my last hour to be at hand. No sooner are you restored
to me, than I must bid you an eternal farewell.' At these touching
expressions, my tears flowed in torrents. I felt and expressed as
much affliction as the human heart is capable of containing. I
question whether Don Alvar's death, doting on him as I did, had
cost me more bitter lamentations. Don Ambrosio had given way
to no mistaken presage of his death, which happened on the follow-
ing day ; and I remained mistress of a considerable jointure, settled
on me at our marriage. But I shall take care to make no unworthy
use of it. The world shall not see me, young as I still am, wanton-
ing in the arms of a third husband. Besides that such levity seems
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 61
irreconcilable with the feelings of any but the profligate of our sex,
I will frankly own the relish of life to be extinct in me ; so that I
mean to end my days in this convent, and to become a benefactress
to it."
Such was Donna Mencia's discourse about her future plans. She
then drew a purse from beneath her robe, and put it into my hands,
with this address : " Here are a hundred ducats simply to furnish out
your wardrobe. That done, come and see me again, I mean not
to confine my gratitude within such narrow bounds." I returned
her a thousand thanks, and promised solemnly not to quit Burgos
without taking leave of her. Having given this pledge, which I
had every inclination to redeem, I went to look out for some house
of entertainment. Entering the first I met with, I asked for a room.
To parry the ill opinion my frock might convey of my finances, I
told the landlord that, however appearances might be against me,
I could pay for my night's lodging as well as a better dressed
gentleman. At th^s speech, the landlord, whose name was Majuelo,
a great banterer in a coarse way, running over me with his eyes
from top to toe, answered, with a cool, sarcastic grin, that there was
no need of any such assurance ; it was evident I should pay my way
liberally, for he discovered something of nobility through my dis-
guise, and had no doubt but I was a gentleman in very easy circum-
stances. I saw plainly that the rascal was laughing at me; and to
stop his humor before it became too convulsive, gave him a little
insight into the state of my purse. I went so far as to count over
my ducats on a table before him, and perceived my coin to have
inclined him to a more respectful judgment. I begged the favor of
him to send for a tailor. " A broker would be better," said he ; " he
will bring all sorts of apparel, and you will be dressed up out of
hand." I approved of this advice, and determined to follow it ; but,
as the day was on the point of closing, I put off my purchase till the
morrow, and thought only of getting a good supper, to make me
amends for the miserable fare I had taken up with since my escape
iiom the forest.
62 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
CHAPTER XV.
GIL BLAS DEESSES HIMSELF TO MORE ADVANTAGE, AND RECEIVES A
SECOND PRESENT KROM THE LADY. HIS EQUIPAGE ON SETTING OUT
FROM BURGOS.
THEY served me up a plentiful fricassee of sheep's trotters,
almost the whole of which I demolished. My drinking kept
pace with my eating; and when I could stuff no longer, I went
to bed. I lay comfortably enough, and was in hopes that a
sound sleep would have the kindness without delay to commit a
friendly invasion on my senses. But I could not close an eye, for
ruminating on the dress I should choose. " What shall I do," thought
I ? " Shall I follow my first plan ? Shall I buy a short cassock, and
go to Salamanca to set up for a tutor? Why should I adopt the
costume of a licentiate? For the purpose of going into orders?
Do I feel an inward call ? No. If I have any call, it is quite the
contrary way. I had rather wear a sword than an apron, and push
my fortune in this world before I think of the next."
I made up my mind to take on myself the appearance of a gentle-
man. Waiting for the day with the greatest impatience, its first
dawn no sooner greeted my eyes, than I got up. I- made such an
uproar in the inn, as to wake the most inveterate sleeper, and called
the servants out of bed, who returned my salute with a volley of
curses. But they found themselves under a necessity of stirring,
and I let them have no rest till they had sent for a broker. The
gentleman soon made his appearance, followed by two lads, each
lugging in a great bundle of green cloth. He accosted me very
civilly, to the following effect : " Honored sir, you are a happy man
to have been recommended to me rather than any one else. I do
not mean to give my brethren an ill word ; God forbid I should
offer the slightest injury to their reputation I They have none to
spare. But, between ourselves, there is not one of them that has
any bowels ; they are more extortionate than the Israelites. There
is not a broker but myself that has any moral sense. I keep within
the bounds of a reasonable profit. I am satisfied with a pound in
the penny ; — no, no ! — that is wrong — with a penny in the pound.
Thanks to Heaven, I get forward fairly and softly in the world."
The broker, after this preface, which I, like a fool, took for
chapter and verse, told his journeymen to undo their bundles.
They showed me suits of every color in the rainbow, and exposed to
sale a great choice of plain cloths. These I threw aside with con-
tempt, as thinking them too undressed ; but they made me try on
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 63
one which fitted me as well as if I had been measured for it, and
just hit my fancy, though it was a little the worse for wear. It was
a doublet with slashed sleeves, with breeches and a cloak, the whole
of blue velvet with gold embroidery. I felt a little hankering after
this particular article, and attempted to beat down the price. The
broker, who saw my inclination, told me I had a very correct taste.
" By all that is sacred I" exclaimed he, " it is plain you are no younker.
Take this with you I That dress was made for one of the first
nobility in the kingdom, and has not been on his back three times.
Look at the velvet ; feel it ; nothing can be richer or of a better
color ; and for the embroidery, come, now 1 tell truth ; did -you ever
see belter workmanship ?" " What is the price of it ?" said I. " Only
sixty ducats," replied he. " I have refused the money, or else I am a
liar." The alternative could not fail in one proposition or the
other. I bid five-and-forty ; two or three-and-twenty would have
been nearer the mark. " My worthy master," said the broker, coolly,
" I never ask too much. I have but one price. But here," added he,
holding up the suits I had thrown aside; " take these ; I can afibrd to
sell them a better bargain," All this only inflamed my eagerness to
buy what I was cheapening; and as I had no idea that he would
have made any abatement, I paid him down sixty ducats. When
he saw how easily a fool and his money are parted, I verily believe
that, in spite of the moral sense, he heartily repented not having
taken a hint from the extortionate Israelite. But reconciling him-
self as well as he could to the small profit, to which he professed to
confine himself, of a pound upon a penny, he retreated with his
journeymen. I was not suffered to forget that they muot have
something for their trouble.
I had now a cloak, a doublet, and a very decent pair of breeches.
The rest of my wardrobe was to be thought off, and this took up the
whole morning. I bought some linen, a hat, silk stockings, shoes,
and a sword ; and concluded by putting on my purchases. What
pleasure was it to see myself so well accoutred! My eyes were
never cloyed, as it were, with the richness of my attire. Never did
peacock look at his own plumage with less philosophy. On that
very day, I paid a second visit to Donna Mencia, who received me
with her usual affability. She thanked me over again for the service
I had rendered her. On that subject rapid was the interchange ot
compliments. Then, wishing every kind of success, she bade me
farewell, and withdrew, without giving me anything but a ring
worth thirty pistoles, which she begged me to keep as a remem-
brance,
I looked very foolish with my ring ! I had reckoned on a much
more considerable present. Thus, little satisfied with the lady's
64 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
bounty, I measured back my steps in a very musing attitude ; but
as I entered the inn door, a man overtook me, and throwing ofl" his
wrapping cloak, discovered a large bag under his arm. At the
vision of the bag, apparently full of current coin, I stood gaping, as
did most of the company present. The voice of angel or archangel
could not have been sweeter than when this messenger of earthly
dross, laying the bag upon the table, said : " Signor Gil Bias, the
lady marchioness desires her compliments." I bowed the bearer
out, with an accumulation of fine speeches; as soon as his back
was turned, I pounced upon the bag, like a hawk upon its quarry,
and bore it between my talons to my chamber. I untiexl it without
loss of time, and the contents were — a thousand ducats 1 The land-
lord, who had overheard the bearer, came in, just as I had done
counting them, to know what was in the bag. The sight of my
riches displayed upon a table struck him in a very forcible manner.
" What the devil 1 here is a sum of money I So, so ! you are the man !"
pursued he, with a waggish sort of leer ; " you know how to — tickle
the — fancies of the ladies I Four-and-twenty hours only have you
been in Burgos, and marchionesses, I warrant you, have surrendered
at the first summons I"
This discourse was not so much amiss. I was half inclined to
leave Majuelo in his error, for it flattered my vanity. I do not
wonder young fellows are fond of passing for men of gallantry.
But as yet the purity of my morals was proof against the sugges-
tions of my pride. I undeceived my landlord, by telling him Donna
Mencia's story, to which he listened very attentively. Afterwards
I let him into the state of my affairs, and, as he seemed to take an
interest in them, besought him to assist me with his advice. He
ruminated for some time ; then said, with a serious air: "Master Gil
Bias, I have taken a liking to you ; and since you are candid
enough to open your heart to me, I will tell you sincerely what I
think would suit you best. You were evidently born for a court
life ; I recommend you to go thither, and to get about the person of
some considerable nobleman. But make a point either of getting
at his secrets or administering to his pleasures ; unless you do that,
it will be all lost time in his family. I know the great; they
reAon nothing upon the zeal and attachment of a real friend, but
only care for pimping sycophants. You have, besides, another
string to your bow. You are young, with an attractive person ;
parts out of the question, for they are not at all times necessary, it
is hard if you cannot turn the head of some rich widow, or hand-
some wife with a broomstick for her husband. Love may ruin men
of fortune, but it makes amends by feathering the nests of those
who have none. My vote, therefore, is for Madrid ; but you must
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 65
not make your appearance there without an establishment. There,
as elsewhere, people judge by the outside ; and you will only be
respected according to the figure you make, I will find you a
servant, a tried domestic, a prudent lad ; in a word, a fellow of my
own creation. Buy a couple of mules j one for yourself, the other
for him, and set off as fast as you can."
This counsel was too palatable to be refused. On the day follow-
ing, I purchased two fine mules, and bargained with my new
servant. He was a young man of thirty, of a very simple and godly
appearance. He told me he was a native of Galicia, by name Am-
brose de Lamela. Other servants are selfish, and think they can
never have wages enough. This fellow assured me he was a man of
few wants, and should be contented with whatever I had the good-
ness to give him. I bought a pair of boots, with a portmanteau to
lock up my linen and my money. Having settled with my landlord,
I set out from Burgos the next morning before sunrise, on my way
to Madrid.
CHAPTER XVI.
SHOWING THAT PEOSPEBITY WILL SLIP THEOUGH A MAN'S FINGEBS.
WE slept at Duengnas the first night, and reached Valladolid
on the following day, about four o'clock in the afternoon.
We alighted at the inn of the most respectable appearance in
the town. I left the care of the mules to my fellow, and went
up to a room, whither I ordered my portmanteau to be carried by a
waiter. As I felt a little weary, I threw myself on a couch in my
boots, and fell asleep involuntarily. It was almost night when I
awoke. I called for Ambrose. He was not to be found in the
house, but made his appearance in a short time. I asked him
where he had been ; he answered in his godly way that he was just
come from church, whither he went for the purpose of thanksgiving,
by reason that we had been graciously preserved from all perils and
dangers between Burgos and Valladolid. I commended his piety,
and ordered a chicken to be roasted for supper.
At the moment when I was giving this order, my landlord came
into my room with a light in his hand. That cursed candle served
to introduce a lady, handsome but not young, and very richly at-
tired. She leaned upon an usher, none of the youngest, and a little
blackamoor was her train-bearer. I was under no small surprise
5
66 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
when this fair incognita, with a profound obeisance, begged to know
if my name might happen to be Signer Gil Bias of Santillane? I
had no sooner blundered out yes, than she released her sweet hand
from the custody of theusher, and embraced me with a transport of joy,
of which I knew less and less what to make. " Heaven be praised,"
cried she, " for all its mercies ! You are he, noble sir, the very man
of whom I was in quest." By this introduction, I was reminded of
my friend the parasite at Pegnaflor, and was on the point of suspect-
ing the lady to be no better than an honest woman should be : but
her finale gave me a much higher opinion of her. " I am," continued
she, " first cousin to Donna Mencia de Mosqucra, whom you have so
greatly befriended. It was but this morning I received a letter
from her. She writes me word that having learned your intention
of going to Madrid, she wished me to receive you hospitably on
your journey, if you went this way. For these two hours have I
been parading the town. From inn to inn have I gone to inform
myself what strangers were in the house ; and I gathered from the
landlord's description that you were most likely to have been my
cousin's deliverer. Since, then, I have found you out, you shall
know by experience my gratitude to the friends of my family, and
especially to my dear cousin's hero. You will take up your abode,
if you please, at my house. Your accommodations will be better."
I wished to excuse myself, and told the lady that I could not be so
troublesome ; but her importunities were more than a match for ray
modesty. A carriage was waiting at the door of the inn to convey
us. She saw my portmanteau taken care of with her own eyes, be-
cause, as she justly observed, there were a great many light-fingered
gentry about Valladolid — to be sure there were a great many light-
fingered gentry about Valladolid, as she justly observed ! In short,
I got into the carriage with her and the old usher, and suffered my-
self to be carried off bodily from the inn, to the great annoyance of
the landlord, who saw himself thus weaned from all the little per-
quisites he had reckoned on from my abode under his roof.
Our carriage, having rolled on some distance, stopped. We
alighted at the door of a handsome house, and went up stairs into
a well-furnished apartment, illuminated by twenty or thirty wax
candles. Several servants were in waiting, of whom the lady in-
quired whether Don Raphael was come. They answered, no. She
then addressed herself to me : " Signer Gil Bias, I am waiting for my
brother's return from a country seat of ours, about two leagues dis-
tant. What an agreeable surprise will it be to him to find a man
under his roof to whom our family is so much indebted !" At the
very moment she had finished this pretty speech, we heard a noise,
and were informed at the same time that it was occasioned by the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 67
arrival of Don Raphael. This spark soon made his appearance.
He was a young man of portly figure and genteel manners. " I am
in ecstasy to see you back again, brother," said the lady ; " you will
assist me in doing the honors to Signor Gil Bias of Santillane. We
can never do enough to show our sense of his kindness to our kins-
woman, Donna Mencia. Here, read this letter I have just received."
Don Raphael opened the envelope, and read aloud as follows : —
"My Dear Camilla :— Signor Gil Bias of Santillane, the
saviour of my honor and my life, has just set out for court. He
will of course pass through Valladolid. I conjure you by our family
connection, and still more by our indissoluble friendship, to give
him a hospitable reception, and to detain him for some time as your
guest. I flatter myself that you will so far oblige me, and that my
deliverer will receive every kind of polite attention from yourself,
and my cousin Don Raphael.
" Your affectionate cousin,
"Burgos"- " DoNNA Mencia.
"What I" cried Don Raphael, casting his eyes again over the letter,
" is it to this gentleman my kinswoman owes her honor and her life?
Then Heaven be praised for this happy meeting." With this sort of
language, he advanced towards me; and squeezing me tightly in
his arms : " What joy to me is it," added he, " to have the honor of see-
ing Signor Gil Bias of Santillane ? My cousin the marchioness had
no need to press the hospitality. Had she only told us simply that
you were passing through Valladolid, that would have been enough.
My sister Camilla and I shall be at no loss how to conduct ourselves
towards a young gentleman who has conferred an obligation, not
to be repaid, on her of all our family most tenderly beloved by us."
(I made the best answer I could to these speeches, which were fol-
lowed by many others of the same kind, and interlarded with a
thousand bows and scrapes.) " But Lord bless me, he has his boota
on !" The servants were ordered in to take them off.
We next went into another room, where the cloth was laid.
Down we sat at table, the brother, sister, and myself. They paid
me a hundred compliments during the supper. Not a word escaped
me, but they magnified it into an admirable hit ! It was impossible
not to observe the assiduity with which they both helped me out of
every dish, Don Raphael often pledged me to Donna Mencia's
health. I could not refuse the challenge ; and it looked a little as
if Camilla, who was a very good companion, ogled at me with no
questionable meaning. I even thought I could perceive that she
watched her opportunity, as if she was afraid of being detected by
68 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
her brother. An oracle could not have convinced me more firmly
that the lady was caught ; and I looked forward to a little delicate
amusement from the discovery, during the short time I was to stay
at ViiUadolid. That hope was my tempter to comply with the re-
quest they made me, of condescending to pass a few days with
them. They thanked me kindly for indulging them with my com-
pany; and CamiUa's restrained but visible transport confirmed me
in the opinion that I was not altogether disagreeable in her eyes.
Don Raphael, finding I had made up my mind to be his guest for
a few days, proposed to take me to his country house. The descrip-
tion of it was magnificent, and the round of amusements he medi-
tated for me was not to be described. " At one time," said he, " we
will take the diversion of the chase, at another that of fishing ; and
whenever you have a mind for a saunter, we have charming woods
and gardens. In addition, we shall have agreeable society. I flatter
myself you will not find the time hang heavy on your hands." I
accepted the invitation, and it was agreed that we should go to this
fine country house the following day. We rose from table with this
pleasant scheme in our mouths. Don Raphael seemed in ecstasy.
" Signor Gil Bias," said he, embracing me, " I leave you with my
sister. I am going presently to give the necessary orders, and send
invitations round to the families I wish to be of the party." With
these words he sallied forth from the room where we were sitting, I
went on chatting with the lady, whose topics of discourse did not
belie the glances of her expressive eyes. She took me by the hand,
and, playing with my ring, " You have a mighty pretty brilliant
there," said she, "but it is small. Are you a judge of jewelry?" I
answered, no! "I am sorry for that," resumed she, "because I was
in hopes you could have told me what this is worth." As she uttered
these words, she showed me a large ruby on her finger ; while I was
looking at it, she said, " An uncle of mine, who was governor of the
Spanish settlements in the Philippine Isles, gave me this ruby. The
jewellers at Valladolid value it at three hundred pistoles." " It'cannot
be worth less," said I, "for it is evidently a very fine stone." "Why,
then, since you have taken a fancy to it," replied she, "an exchange
is no robbery." In a twinkling she whisked off" my ring, and placed
her own on my little finger. After this exchange, a genteel way of
making a present, Camilla pressed my hand and gazed at me with
expressive tenderness ; then, all at once breaking off the conversa-
tion, wished me good-night, and retired to hide her blushes, as if she
had been ready to sink at the indiscreet avowal of her sentiments.
No one hitherto had trod less in the paths cf gallantry than my-
self! Yet I could not shut my eyes to the vision opened to me
by this precipitate retreat. Under these circumstances, a country
ADVENTURES OF GIL JBLAS. 69
excursion might have its charms. Full of this flattering idea, and
intoxicated with the prosperous condition of my afiairs, I locked
myself into my bed-room, after having told my servant to call me
betimes in the morning. Instead of going to sleep, I gave myself
up to the agreeable reflections which my portmanteau, snug upon
the table, and my ruby excited in my breast. " Heaven be praised !"
thought I, "though misfortunes have been my lot, I am unfortunate
no longer. A thousand ducats here, a ring of three hundred pistoles
value there ! I am in cash for a considerable time. Indeed Majuelo
was no flatterer, I see clearly. The ladies of Madrid will take fire
like touchwood, since the green sticks of Valladolid are so inflam-
mable." Then the kind regards of the generous Camilla arrayed
themselves in all their charms, and I tasted by anticipation the
amusements Don Raphael was preparing for me at his villa. In
the meanwhile, amid so many images of pleasure, Sleep was on the
watch to strew his poppies on my couch. As soon as I felt myself
drowsy, I undressed and went to bed.
The next morning, when I awoke, I found it rather late. It was
odd enough that my servant did not make his appearance, after
such particular orders. Ambrose, thought I to myself, my devout
Ambrose, is either at church, or abominably lazy this morning.
But I soon let go this opinion of him to take up a worse ; for getting
out of bed, and seeing no portmanteau, I suspected him to have
stolen it during the night. To clear up my suspicions, I opened
my chamber door, and called the religious rascal over and over again.
An old man answered, saying, "What is your pleasure, sir? All
your folks left my house before daybreak." " Your house ! How
now !" exclaimed I ; " am I not under Don Raphael's roof?" " I do
not know the gentleman," said he. "You are in a ready-furnished
lodging, and I am the landlord. Yesterday evening, an hour before
your arrival, the lady who supped with you came hither, and engaged
this suite of apartments for a nobleman of high rank, travelling
incognito, as she called it. She paid me beforehand." I was now in
the secret. It was plain enough what sort of people Camilla and
Don Raphael were; and I conjectured that my servant, having
wormed himself into a complete knowledge of my concerns, had be-
trayed me to these impostors. Instead of blaming myself for this
sad accident, and considering that it could never have happened
but for my indiscretion in so unnecessarily betraying my confidence
to Majuelo, I uttered bad language to the poor harmless Dame For-
tune, and cursed my ill star in a hundred different formularies.
The master of the ready-furnished lodging, to whom I related the
adventure, Avhich perhaps was as much his as mine, showed some
little outward sensibility to my afiiiction. He lamented over me,
TO ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
and protested he was deeply mortified that such a play should have
been acted in his house ; but I verily believe, notwithstanding his
fine words, that he had an equal share in the cheat with mine host
at Burgos, to whom I have never denied the merit of so ingenious
an invention.
CHAPTER XVII.
THE MEASUBES GIL BLAS TOOK AFTER THE ADVENTURE OF THE READY-
FUENISHED LODGING.
AFTER the first transports of my grief were over, I began
to consider that, instead of giving way to remorse, I ought
rather to bear up against my ill fate. I summoned back my
resolution, and by way of comfort, said to myself as I was dressing,
" I am still in luck that the knaves have not carried off my clothes,
and what little money I had in my pocket." I gave them some
credit for being so considerate. They had even been generous
enough to leave me my boots, which I parted with to the landlord
for a third of their cost. At last I sallied out of the ready-furnished
lodging, unencumbered, Heaven be praised, with baggage or at-
tendance. The first thing I did was to go and see if my mules were
still at the inn, where we alighted the evening before. It was not
to be supposed that Ambrose would have neglected a due attention
to them ; and it would have been well for me if I had always taken
such exact measure of his character. I learned that he had not
waited for the morning, but had been careful to fetch them off over-
night. Under these circumstances, satisfied I should never see
them again, any more than my portmanteau, I walked sulkily along
the streets, musing on the future plans I should adopt, I was
tempted to go back to Burgos, and once more have recourse to
Donna Mencia ; but, regarding this as an abuse of that lady's good-
ness, and being aware, moreover, what a fool I should look like,
I thought it best to forego that idea. I made a vow, too, for the
future to be on my guard against women. I could have sent the
chaste Susanna to the house of correction. From time to time my
ring caught my eye; it was a present from Camilla, and I was
ready to burst with anguish. " Alas !" thought I, " I am no judge of
jewelry, but I shall be, by experience of these hucksters who ex-
change without a robbery. I need not go to a jeweller to be told
I am an ass I I can see my own face in my ruby."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 71
Yet I did not neglect to know the truth respecting the value of
my ring, and showed it to a lapidary, who rated it at three ducats.
At such an estimate, though as much as I expected, I made a
formal surrender to the devil of the Philippine Islands, the gover-
nor and his niece ; or rather, I only restored his own subjects to
their lawful sovereign. As I was going out of the lapidary's shop, a
young fellow brushed by me, and on looking round, made a full
stop. I could not recollect his name at first, though his features
were perfectly familiar to me. " How now, Gil Bias," said he, " are
you ashamed of an old acquaintance ? or have two years so altered the
son of Nunez the barber that you do not know him ? Do not you
recollect Fabricio, your townsman and schoolfellow? How often
have we argued, before Doctor Godinez, upon universals and meta-
physics I"
These words did not flow so fast as m^y recollection, and we em-
braced with mutual good will. " Well, my friend," resumed he, " I
am overjoyed to meet with you. Words fall short. . . . But how is
this ? Why, you look like — as Heaven is my judge, you are dressed
like a grandee I A gentleman's sword, silk stockings, a velvet
doublet and cloak, embroidered with silver I Plague take it ! this
is getting on in the world with a vengeance. I will lay a wager you
are in with some old moneyed harridan." " You reckon without your
host," said I ; " my affairs are not so prosperous as you imagine."
" That will not do for me," replied he, " I know better things ; but you
have a mind to be close. And that fine ruby on your finger, master
Gil Bias, whence comes that, if I may be so bold?" " It comes,"
quoth I, " from an infernal jade. Fabricio, my dear Fabricio, far
from being point, quint, and quatorze with the ladies of Valladolid,
you are to know, my friend, that I am their complete bubble."
I uttered these last words so ruefully, that Fabricio saw plainly
that some trick had been played upon me. He was anxious to
learn why I was out of humor with the lovely sex. I had no diffi-
culty in satisfying his curiosity ; but as the story was a long one,
and, besides, we had no mind to part in a hurry, we went into a
coffee-house to be a little more at ease. There I recounted to him,
during breakfast, all that had happened to me since my departure
from Oviedo. My adventures he thought whimsical enough,
and testifying his sympathy in my present uneasy circumstances,
added, " We must make the best, my good lad, in all our misfortunes
in this life. Is a man of parts in distress? he waits patiently for
better luck. Such a one, as Cicero truly observes, never suffers
himself to be humbled so low as to forget that he is a man. For
my own part, that is just my character ; in or out of favor, there is
no sinking me ; I always float on the surface of ill luck. For ex-
72 ADYENTUEES OF GIL BLAS.
ample, I was in love with a girl of some family at Oviedo, and was
beloved by her in return. I asked her of her father in marriage; he
refused. Many a young fellow would have died of grief; but no !
mark my spirit : I carried off the little baggage. She was lively,
heedless, and coquettish ; pleasure consequently was always upper-
most, to the prejudice of duty. I took her with me for six months
backward and forward about Galicia; thence, adopting my taste
for travelling, she had a mind to go to Portugal, but in other com-
pany— more food for despair. Yet I did not give in under the
weight of this new affliction ; but, improving on Menelaus, thought
myself much obliged to the Paris who had whispered in the ear of
my Helen, for ridding me of a bad bargain ; I therefore determined
to keep the peace. After that, not finding it convenient to return
to the Asturias and balance accounts with justice, I went forward
into the kingdom of Leon, spending between one town and another
all the loose cash remaining from the rape of my Indian princess ;
for we had both of us bird-limed our fingers at our departure from
Oviedo. I got to Palcncia with a solitary ducat, out of which I
was obliged to buy a pair of shoes. The remainder would not go
far. My situation became rather perplexing. I began already to
be reduced to short allowance; something must be done. I resolved
to go out to service. My first place was with a woollen-draper in a
large way, whose son was a lad of wit and fashion ; here was a com-
plete antidote to fasting, but there was a little awkwardness. The
father ordered me to dog the son, the son begged my assistance in
imposing on the father ; it was necessary to take one side or other.
Entreaties sound more musical than commands, and my taste for
music got me turned out of doors. The next service I entered into
was with an old painter, who undertook, as a matter of favor, to
teach me the principles of his art; but he was so busy in feeding me
with knowledge, that he forgot to give me any meat. This neglect
of substance for shadow disgusted me with my abode at Palencia.
I came to Valladolid, where, by the greatest good luck in the
world, T was hired by a governor of the hospital ; I am with him
still, and delighted with my quarters. My master, Signor Manuel
Ordonncz, is a man of profound piety. He always walks with his
eyes cast downwards, and a large rosary in his hand. They say
that from his early youth, having been a close inspector of the
poor, he has interested himself in their affairs with unwearied zeal.
Charity draws down a blessing on the charitable ; everything has
prospered with him. What a favorite of Heaven ! The more he
does for the poor, the richer he grows."
As Fabricio was going on in this manner, I interrupted him. "It
is well you are satisfied with your lot ; but between ourselves, surely
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 73
you miglit play your part better in the world." " Do not believe it,
Gil Bias," repli-ed he ; " be assured that for a man of my temper a
more agreeable situation could not possibly be devised. The trade
of a lackey is toilsome, to be sure, for a poor creature ; but for a lad
of spirit, it is all enchantment. A superior genius, when he gets a
service, does not go about like a lumpish simpleton. He enters
into a family as viceroy over the master, not as an inferior minis-
ter. He begins by measuring the length of his employer's foot ; by
lending himself to his weaknesses, he gains his confidence, and
ends with leading him by the nose. Such has been my plan of
operation at the governor's. I knew the pilgrim at once by his
staff; his wish was for an earthly canonization. I pretended to
believe him to be the saint he wished to be taken for ; hypocrisy
costs nothing. Nay, I went further, for I took pattern by him ; and
playing the same part before him which he played before others, I
out-cozened the cozener, and by degrees got to be major domo. I am
in hopes some day or other, under his wing, to have the fingering
of the poor's-box. It may bring a blessing upon me as well as upon
another ; for I have caught the flame from him, and already feel
deeply for the interests of charity."
" These are fine hopes, my dear Fabricio," replied I ; " and I con-
gratulate you upon them. For my part, I am determined on my
first plan. I shall straightway convert my embroidered suit into a
cassock, repair to Salamanca, and there, enlisting under the banner
of the university, fulfill the sacred duties of a tutor." "A fine
scheme 1" exclaimed Fabricio, " a pleasant conceit 1 What madness,'
at your age to turn pedant. Are you aware, you stupid fellow, what
you take upon yourself by that choice ? As soon as you are settled,
all the house will be upon the watch ; your most trivial actions will
be minutely sifted. You will lead a life of incessant constraint ;
you must set yourself off with a counterfeit outside, and affect to
entertain a double set of the cardinal virtues in your bosom. You
will not have a moment to bestow on pleasure. The everlasting
censor of your pupil, your days will pass in teaching grammar and
administering saintly reprehension, when he shall say or do any-
thing against decorum. After so much labor and confinement,
what will be your reward ? If the little gentleman is in a pickle,
they will lay all the blame on your bad management, and you will
be kicked out of the family, it may be, without your stipend. Do
not tell me, then, of a tutor's employment ; it is worse than a cure of
souls. But talk as much as you will about a lackey's occupation,
that is a sinecure, and pledges you to nothing. Suppose one's
master not to be immaculate? A servant of superior genius will
flatter his vices, and not unfrequently turn them to account. A
74 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
footman lives at his ease in a good family. After having ate and
drunk his fill, he goes to bed peaceably, without troubling himself
who pays the bills.
" I should never have done, my dear fellow," pursued he, " were I
to enumerate all the advantages of service. Trust me, Gil Bias ; dis-
card forever your foolish wish of being a tutor, and follow my ex-
ample." " So be it ; but,Fabricio," replied I, "governors like yours
are not to be met with every day ; and if resolved to go to service, I
should like at least to get a good situation." " Oh ! you are in the
right," said he, " and that shall be my concern. I will get you a
comfortable place, if it was only to snatch a fine fellow from the
jaws of the university."
The near approach of poverty with which I was threatened, and
Fabricio's apparent good case, having more weight with me than
his arguments, I determined to wear a livery. On which we sallied
forth from the tavern, and my townsman said : " I am going to intro-
duce you to a man to whom most of the servants resort when they
are on the ramble ; he has eavesdroppers about him to pick up all
that passes in families. He knows at once when the servants are
going away, and keeps a correct register, not only of vacant places,
but of vacant masters, with their good and bad properties. The
fellow has been a friar in some convent or other. In short, he it
was who got me my place."
While we were conversing about so singular an ofiice of intelli-
gence, the son of Nunez the barber took me into a street which had
no thoroughfare. We went into a mean house, where we found a
man about fifty writing at a table. We wished him good-day, with
quite as much humility as became us ; but, whether it was from
natural pride, or that, from a habit of seeing none but lackeys and
coachmen, he had got a trick of receiving his company with an easy
freedom, without rising from his seat, he just gave a slight nod.
He seemed surprised that a young man in embroidered velvet should
want a place ; he had rather expected me to have wanted a servant.
However, he was not long kept in doubt, since Fabricio said at
once : " Signer Arias de Londona, give me leave to introduce one of
my best friends. He is a youth of good connections, whom adverse
circumstances have reduced to the necessity of going to service.
Have the goodness to provide for him handsomely, and you may
trust to his gratitude." " Gentlemen," replied Arias, coolly, "this is
the way with you all ; before you are settled, you make the finest pro-
mises in the world ; but afterwards. Lord help us ! your memories
are very short." " The deuce !" replied Fabricio, " why, you do not
complain of me ? Have I not done the thing genteelly ?" " You
ought to have done it much better," rejoined Arias : " your place is
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 75
better than a clerk in a public office, and you paid me as if I had
quartered you upon a poor author." Here I interfered, and told
Master Arias that, to convince him I was not a shabby fellow, I
would make my acknowledgment beforehand ; at the same time
taking out two ducats, with an assurance of not stopping there if
he got me into a good berth.
He seemed to like my mode of dealing. " There are," said he, " some
very good places vacant. I will give you a list of them, and you
shall take your choice." With these words, he put on his spectacles,
opened a register on the table, turned over a few of the leaves, and
began reading to this effect : " Captain Torbellino wants a footman ;
a hasty, hairbrained, humorsome chap; scolds incessantly, swears,
kicks his servants, and very often cripples them." " Go on to the
next," cried I at this picture ; "such a captain will never do for me."
My sprightliness made Arias smile, and he went on with his cata-
logue thus : " Donna Menuela de Sandoval, a superannuated dowa-
ger, peevish and fantastical, is in want at this very time ; she keeps
but one, and him never for four-and-twenty hours. There has been
a livery in the house for these ten years, which fits every new
comer, whether tall or short. They only just try it on ; so that it
is as good as new, though it has had two thousand owners. Doctor
Alvar Fanez wants a journeyman ; an eminent member of the
faculty ! He boards his family very handsomely, has everything
comfortable about him, and gives very high wages ; but he is a
little too fond of experiments. When he gets a parcel of bad drugs,
which happens very often, there is a pretty quick succession of new
servants."
" Oh ! I do not in the least doubt it," interrupted Fabricio with a
horse-laugh. " Upon my word you give a fine character of your cus-
tomers." *' Patience," said Arias de Londona ; " we have not yet got
to the end : there is variety enough." Thereupon he continued to read
on : " Donna Alfonsa de Solis, an old devotee, who lives two-thirds
of her time at church, and always keeps her servant at her apron
string, has been in want for these three weeks. The Licentiate
S^dillo, an old prebendary of the chapter here, turned away his
servant yesterday evening." ..." Halt there, Signor Arias de
Londona," cried Fabricio at that passage ; " we will stick to the
church. The Licentiate Sddillo is one of my master's friends, and
I am very well acquainted with him. I know he has for his house-
keeper an old hypocrite, called Dame Jacintha, who is complete
mistress of the family. It is one -of the best houses in Valladolid.
A very idle life, and plenty of excellent meat and drink. Besides,
his reverence is an old, gouty, infirm man, likely soon to make his
will; there is a legacy to be looked after. That is a delightful
76
ADYENTUKES OF GIL BIAS.
prospect for one of our cloth ! Gil Bias," added he, turning round
to me, " let us lose no time, my friend, but go immediately to the
licentiate's house. I will introduce you myself, and give you a
character." At these words, for fear of missing such an opportunity,
we took a hasty leave of Signor Arias, who assured me, for my
money, that if I failed here, he would do something as good for me
elsewhere.
ADVENTVIiES OF GIL BLAS^ 77
BOOK II.
CHAPTER I.
FABEICIO INTRODUCES GIL BLAS TO THE LICENTIATE SfeOILLO, AND
PROCURES HIM A RECEPTION. THE DOMESTIC ECONOMY OF THAT
CLERGYMAN. PICTURE OF HIS HOUSEKEEPER.
WE were so dreadfully afraid of offending against the regular
hours of the old licentiate, that we made but a hop, skip,
and jump from the street with but one outlet to the prebendal
residence. The gates were barred: but we ventured to announce
our arrival. A girl of ten years old, the housekeeper's professed
niece, — and slander could not gainsay the relationship, — opened
the door to us. As we asked to speak with his reverence, Dame
Jacintha made her appearance. She was a lady of ripe person
and parts, but by no means past her prime ; and I was particu-
larly attracted by the clearness of her complexion. She wore a
long woollen gown of the most ordinary quality, with a large
leathern girdle, whence hung suspended a bunch of keys on one
side, and on the other a tremendous string of beads. As soon as
we got a glimpse of her, we made our obeisances with all possible
reverence. She returned our salutation with similar good breeding,
but with an air of modesty, and eyes communing with the ground.
" I have been told," said my fellow-servant, " that the reverend the
Licentiate S6dillo wants an honest lad, and I have one at his ser-
vice with whom he will be well satisfied." The superintendent of
the household turned up her eyes at these words, with a significant
side glance at me ; and, finding it difficult to reconcile my laced
jacket with Fabricio's exordium, asked if it was this fine gentleman
who was come after the place. " Yes," said the son of Nunez, " it is
this interesting and engaging youth. Just as you see him, the ups
and downs of this transitory life have compelled him to wear an
epaulet ; but fate will have made him ample amends," added he, with
an affected languish, " if he is so happy as to be an inmate here, and
to profit by the society of the virtuous Jacintha. The patriarch of
the Indies might have sighed for the virtuous Jacintha at the head
of his establishment." At these words, this withered branch of piety
withdrew her penetrating regards from me, to contemplate this cour-
teous spokesman. Struck with certain lines which were not new to
her in his face, " I have some floating idea of having seen you before,"
78 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
said she; " but my memory wants a lift." "Holy Jacintha," replied
Fabricio, " it is enough for me to have been blessed with your pious
notice. Twice have I been under this venerable roof with my
master, Signor Manuel Ordonnez, governor of the hospital." " Ah !
just 80," answered the lady chamberlain, " I recollect 1 You are an
old acquaintance. Welladay now ! Your very belonging to Signor
Ordonnez is enough to prove you a youth of merit and strict pro-
priety. A servant is known by his place, and this lad could not
have a better sponsor. Come along with me; I will introduce you
to Signor Sddillo. I am sure he will be glad to engage a lad at
your recommendation."
We followed Dame Jacintha. The canon lived in the lower part
of the house, in a comfortable suite of wainscoted apartments.
She begged us to wait a moment in the ante-chamber, white she
went into the licentiate's room. After some private parley with
him, merely that he might know what he was about, she came to
tell us we might walk in. We kenned the old cripple, immersed in
an elbovv chair, with a pillow under his head, cushions under his
arms, and his legs supported on a large stool, stuffed with down.
We were no niggards of our bows as we advanced ; and Fabricio,
still taking the lead, not only repeated over again what he had said
to the housekeeper, but set about extolling my merit, and expatiated
in an especial manner on the honors I had gained in the schools
under Doctor Godinez on all metaphysical questions : as if it was
necessary for a prebendary's footman to be as learned as his master.
However that might be, it served as a tub to the whale. Besides,
Dame Jacintha did not look forbidding, and my surety received the
following answer: "Friend, I receive into my service the lad you
recommend. I like him well enough ; and as for his morals, they
cannot be much amiss, since he presents himself under the wing of
a domestic belonging to Signor Ordonnez."
As soon as Fabricio saw me safe landed, he made a low bow to
the prebendary, a still lower to the lady, and withdrew in high good
humor, whispering in my ear that we should meet again, and that I
had only to make good my footing. As soon as he had left the
room, the licentiate inquired my name, why I had left my native
place; and gradually drew me on by his questions to relate my
adventures before Dame Jacintha. They were both highly amused,
above all by my last rencounter. Camilla and Don Raphael gave
such play to their risible muscles, that I thought old chalkstone
would have burst : for, as he laughed with all his might, so violent
a cough laid hold of him, as went very near to have carried him off.
His will was not made. What an alarm for the housekeeper 1
Trembling, distracted, off she flew to the good man's succor, and just
ADVENTURES OP GIL BIAS. 79
like a nurse with a puking child, paddled about his forehead and
tapped him on the back. Luckily it was a false alarm; the old
gentleman left off coughing, and the housekeeper tormenting him.
When it was over, I was for going on with my narrative ; but Dame
Jacintha, in awe of a second fit, set herself against it. She there-
fore took me with her out of the room to a wardrobe, where among
several suits was that of my predecessor. This I was to take, and
leave my own in its room, which I was not sorry to see laid up safe,
in the hope it might be of further use. After this we went together
to get dinner ready.
I knew what I was about in the art of dressing meat. Dame
Leoparda, with whom I had served my time, might have passed for
a very decent plain cook, but a mere turnspit to Dame Jacintha.
The latter might almost have borne away the bell from the arch-
bishop of Toledo's man. She was mistress of everything ; gravy
soups, of the most delicious texture and relish, and, for made
dishes, she could season them up or soften them down to the most
delicate or voluptuous palate. At dinner-time we returned to his
reverence's apartments. While I was arranging the grand concern
close by his arm-chair, the lady of all work crammed a napkin
under the old boy's chin, and pinned it behind his back. Without
losing a moment, in marched I with a stew fit to be set before the
first gourmand in Madrid, and two courses to have tickled the gills
of a viceroy, only that Dame Jacintha had touched the spice-box
with discretion, for fear of exasperating the gout. At the first
glimpse of this goodly mess, my old master, whom I conceived to
have lost the use of his limbs, made me to understand that his arms
were exempted from the interdict. He availed himself of their
assistance to get clear of his pillow and cushions, and proceeded
gayly to the attack. His hand shook, to be sure, but somehow or
other it contrived to do its duty. He sent it backward and for-
ward fast enough ; though it brought but half its cargo to the
landing-place at a lading ; the table-cloth and napkin took toll. I
carried off the soup when he had done, and brought in a partridge
flanked by two roast quails, which Dame Jacintha cut up for him.
She took care to make him take a good draught of wine, a little
lowered at proper intervals, out of a large, deep silver cup, which
she held to his mouth, as if he had been an infant. He winged the
partridge, and came down slap-dash upon all the rest of the dishes.
When he had done cramming, that saint of the saucepan unpinned
his napkin, reinstated his pillow and cushions, then, leaving him
composed in his arm-chair to the enjoyment of his usual nap after
dinner, we took away and demolished the remainder with appetites
worthy of our master.
80 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
The dinner of to-day was the ordinary bill of fare. Our canon
played the best knife and fork in the chapter. But the supper was
a mere bauble: seldom more than a chicken and a little confec-
tionery. I larded my inside in this house, and led a good ea-sy
life. There was but one awkward circumstance, and that was
sitting up with my master, to save the expense of a nurse. Besides
a strangury, which kept him on the fidget ten times the hour, he
was very much given to perspire, and in that event, I shifted him.
" Gil Bias," said he, on the second night, "you are an active, clever
fellow ; I foresee that we shall jog on very well together. I only
just give you a hint to keep in with Dame Jacintha ; the girl
has been about me for these fifteen years, and manages all my little
matters ; she comforts my outward man, and I cannot do too much
for her. For that reason, you are to know that she is more to me
than all my family. There is my nephew, my own sister's son, why,
I have turned him out of doors, only to please her. He had no
regard for the poor lass, and so far from giving her credit for all
her little assiduities, the saucy rascal swore she did not care a
farthing for me ! But nowadays, young people think virtue and
gratitude all a farce. Heaven be praised, I am rid of the varlet.
What claim has blood in comparison Avith unquestionable attach-
ment? I am influenced by a give-and-take principle in my connec-
tions." "You are right, sir," replied I; "gratitude ought to be the
first thing, and natural affection the last." " Ay !" resumed he ; " and
my will shall be a comment on that text. My housekeeper shall be
residuary legatee; and you shall have a corner in a codicil, if you
go on as well as you have begun. The footman I turned off yesterday
has lost a good legacy, by not knowing where to hit the right nail
on the head. If the blockhead had not obliged me, by his ill
behavior, to send him packing, I would have made a man of him ;
but the beggar on horseback gave himself airs to Dame Jacintha.
Then master lazy-bones did not like sitting up ! I might pass the
night as I could, provided he had no trouble with me." " Oh, the
unfeeling scoundrel !" exclaimed I, in the true spirit of Fabricio,
" he was not a man to be about so good a master. The lad for your
money should be a humble but confidential friend : he should not
make a toil of what ought to be a pleasure, but think nothing of
going through fire and water for your ease."
These professions were not lost upon the licentiate. Neither
were my assurances of due submission to Dame Jacintha's
authority less acceptable. Puffing myself off for a servant who
was not afraid of work, I got through my business as cheerfully as
I could. I never complained of my nursery — ^though to be sure it
vaa irksome enough ; and if the legacy had not settled my stomach,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 81
I should have sickened at the nature of my employment. It is true
I got some hours' rest during the day. The housekeeper, to do her
justice, was kind enough to me, owing to the insinuating manner
in which I wormed myself into her good graces. Suppose me at
table, with her and her niece In^silla! I changed their plates,
filled their glasses, never thought of my own dinner before they had
everything they wanted. This was the way to thrive in their
esteem. One day when Dame Jacintha was gone to market, find-
ing myself alone with In^silla, I began to make myself agreeable.
"Were her father and mother alive?" "O! no," answered she;
" they have been dead this long time ; for my good aunt says they
have, and I have never seen them." I religiously believed the little
innocent, though her answer was not of the clearest ; and she got
into such a humor of talking, as to tell me more than I wanted to
know. She informed me, or rather I inferred it from her artless
simplicity, that her good aunt had a' good friend, who lived likewise
with an old canon. The temporalities of the church were under his
administration ? and these lucky domestics reckoned upon entwining
the spoils of their masters round the pillars of the hymeneal temple,
into whose sanctuary they had penetrated by anticipation. Dame
Jacintha, as I have said before, though a little stricken in years,
had still some bloom. To be sure, she spared no pains to cherish
it ; besides daily evacuations, she took plentiful doses of all-powerful
jelly. She got her sleep in the night too, while I sat up with my
master. But what perhaps contributed most to the freshness of this
everlasting flower, was an issue in each leg, of which I should hav«
never known but for that blab In6silla.
CHAPTER II.
THE canon's ILLNESS; HIS TREATMENT; THE CONSEQUENCE; THE
LEGACY TO GIL BLAS.
I STAYED three months- with the Licentiate S6dillo, without
complaining of bad nights. At the end of that time he fell sick.
The distemper was a fever, and it inflamed the gout. For the
first time in his life, which had been long, he called in a phyiscian.
Doctor Sangrado was sent for — the Hippocrates of Valladolid.
Dame Jacintha was for sending for the lawyer first, and touched
that string; but the patient thought it was time enough, and had
82 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
a little will of his own upon some points. Away I went ailer
Doctor Sangrado, and brought him with me. A tall, withered, wan
executioner of the sisters three, who had done all their justice for
at least these forty years, this learned forerunner of the under-
taker had an aspect suited to his office ; his words were weighed to
a scruple, and his jargon sounded grand in the ears of the un-
initiated. His arguments were mathematical demonstrations, and
his opinions had the merit of originality.
After studying my master's symptoms, he began with medical
solemnity. " The question here is, to remedy aiLpbstructed perspira-
tion. Ordinary practitioners, in this case, would follow the old
routine of salines, diuretics, volatile salts, sulphur, and mercury ;
but purges and sudorifics are a deadly practice. Chemical prepara-
tions are edged tools in the hands of the ignorant. My methods are
more simple and more efficacious. What is your usual diet?" " I live
pretty much upon soups," replied the canon, "and eat my meat with
a good deal of gravy." " Soups and gravy !" exclaimed the petrified
doctor. " Upon my word, it is no wonder you are ill. High living
is a poisoned bait — a trap set by sensuality to cut short the days of
wretched man. We must have done with pampering our appetites ;
the more insipid, the more wholesome. The human blood is not a
gravy ! Why, then, you must give it such a nourishment as will
assimilate with the particle of which it is composed. You drink
wine, I warrant you?" "Yes," said the licentiate, "butdiluted." "01
finely diluted, I daresay," rejoined the physician. " This is licentious-
ness with a vengeance ! A frightful course of feeding I Why, you
ought to have died years ago. How old are you ?" " I am in my
sixty-ninth year," replied the canon. " So I thought," quoth the prac-
titioner ; " a premature old age is always the consequence of intem-
perance. If you had only drunk clear water all your life, and had
been contented with plain food, boiled apples, for instance, you
would not have been a martyr to the gout, and your limbs would
have performed their functions with lubricity. But I do not
despair of setting you on your legs again, provided you give your-
self up to my management." The licentiate promised to be upon his
good behavior.
Sangrado then sent me for a surgeon of his own choosing, and
took from him six good porringers of blood, by way of a beginning,
to remedy this obstinate obstruction. He then said to the surgeon :
" Master Martin Onez, you will take as much more three hours hence,
and to-morrow you will repeat the operation. It is a mere vulgar
error that the blood is of any use to the system ; the faster you draw
it off, the better. A patient has nothing to do but to keep himself
quiet ; with him, to live is merely not to die ; he has no more occa-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 83
sion for blood than a man in a trance ; in both cases, life consists
exclusively in pulsation and respiration." When the doctor had
ordered these frequent and copious bleedings, he added a drench of
warm water at very short intervals, maintaining that water in suffi-
cient quantities was the grand secret of materia medica. He then
took his leave, telling Dame Jacintha and me, with an air of con-
fidence, that he would answer for the patient's life if his system was
fairly pursued. The housekeeper, though protesting secretly against
this new practice, bowed to his superior authority. In fact, we set
on the kettles in a hurry; and, as the physician had desired us
above all things to give him enough, we began with pouring down
two or three pints at as many gulps. An hour after, we beset him
again ; then, returning to the attack time after time, we fairly
poured a deluge into his poor stomach. The surgeon, on the other
hand, taking out the blood as we poured in the water, we reduced
the old canon to death's door in less than two days.
This venerable ecclesiastic, able to hold it out no longer, as I
pledged him in a large glass of his new cordial, said to me in a faint
voice : " Hold, Gil Bias, do not give me any more, my friend. It ia
plain Death will come when he will come, in spite of water ; and
though I have hardly a drop of blood in my veins, I am no better
for getting rid of the enemy. The ablest physician in the world can
do nothing for us when our time is expired. Fetch a notary; I
will make my will." At these last words, pleasing enough to my
fancy, I affected to appear unhappy ; and concealing my impatience
to be gone : " Sir," said I, " you are not reduced so low, thank God,
but you may yet recover." " No, no," interrupted he, " my good
fellow, it is all over. I feel the gout shifting, and the hand of death
is upon me. Make haste, and go where I told you." I saw, sure
enough, that he changed every moment, and the case was so urgent,
that I ran as fast as I could, leaving him in Dame Jacintha's care,
who was more afraid than myself of his dying without a will. I
laid hold of the first notary I could find. "Sir," said I, "tha Licen-
tiate Sedillo, my master, is drawing near his end ; he wants to settle
his affairs ; there is not a moment to be lost." The notary was a
dapper little fellow, who loved his joke, and inquired who was our
physician. At the name of Doctor Sangrado, hurrying on his
cloak and hat : " For mercy's sake," cried he, " let us set off with all
possible speed ; for this doctor despatches business so fast, that oui
fraternity cannot keep pace with him. That fellow spoils half my
jobs."
With this sarcasm, he set forward in good earnest, and, as we
pushed on, to get the start of the grim tyrant, I said to him : "Sir, you
are aware that a dying testator's memory is sometimes a little short ;
84 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
should my master chance to forget me, be so good as to put in a
word in my favor." " That I will, my lad," replied the little proc-
tor; "you may rely on it. I will urge something handsome, if I
liave an opportunity." The licentiate, on our arrival, had still all
his faculties about him. Dame Jacintha was by his bedside, Is-ying
in her tears by wholesale. She had played her game, and bespoken
a handsome remembrance. We left the notary alone with my
master, and went together into the ante-chamber, where we met the
surgeon, sent by the physician for another and last experiment.
We laid hold of him. "Stop, Master Martin," said the housekeeper,
"you cannot go into Signer S^dillo's room just now. He is giving
his last orders ; but you may bleed away when the will is made."
We were terribly afraid, this pious gentlewoman and I, lest the
licentiate should go off with his will half finished ; but by good luck,
the important deed was executed. We saw the proctor come out, who
finding me on the watch, slapped me on the shoulder, and said with
a simper, "Gil Bias is not forgotten." At these words I felt the
most lively joy; and was so well pleased with my master for his
kind notice, that I promised myself the pleasure of praying for his
soul after dea/.h, which event happened anon ; for the surgeon
having bled him once more, the poor old man, quite exhausted,
gave up the ghost under the lancet. Just as he was breathing his
last, the physician made his appearance, and looked a little foolish,
notwithstanding the universality of his deathbed experience. Yet,
far from imputing the accident to the new practice, he walked off,
affirming with intrepidity that it was owing to their having been
too lenient with the lancet, and too chary of their warm water.
The medical executioner, — I mean the surgeon, — seeing that his
functions also were at an end, followed Doctor Sangrado.
As soon as he saw the breath out of our patron's body. Dame
Jacintha, In^silla, and myself joined in a decent chorus of funeral
lamentation, loud enough to produce a proper effect in the neigh-
borhood. The emblem of a life to come, though she had more
reason than any of us to rejoice, took the soprano part, and
screamed out her afiiictions in a most pathetic manner. The room
in an instant was crowded with people, attracted less by compassion
than curiosity. The relations of the deceased no sooner got wind of
his departure, than they pounced down upon the premises and
sealed up everything. From the housekeeper's distress, they
thought there was no will ; but they soon found their mistake, and
that there was one without a flaw. When it was opened, and they
learned the disposition of the testator's principal property, in favor
of Dame Jacintha and the little girl, they pronounced his funeral
oration in terms not a little disparaging to his memory. They gave
ADVENTVRES'OF GIL BIAS. 85
a broad apostrophe at the same time to the godly legatee, and a
few blessings to me in my turn. It must be owned I had earned
them. The licentiate, — Heaven reward him for it, — to secure my
remembrances through life, expressed himself thus in a paragraph
of his will :— " Item, as Gil Bias has already some little smattering
of literature, to encourage his studious habits, I give and bequeath
to him my library, all my books and my manuscripts, without any
drawback or exception."
I could not conceive where this sa^d library might be; I had
never seen any. I only knew of some papers, with five or six
bound books, on two little deal shelves in my master's closet ; and
that was my legacy. The books could be of no great use to me; the
title of one was. The Complete Man Cook ; another, A Treatise on
Indigestion, with the Methods of Cure ; the rest were the four parts
of the breviary, half eaten up by worms. In the article of manu-
scripts, the most curious consisted of documents relating to a lawsuit
in which the prebendary was once engaged for his stall. After
having examined my legacy with more minuteness than it deserved,
I made over my right and title to these invidious relations. I even
renounced my livery, and took back my own suit, claiming my
wages as my only reward. I then went to look out for another
place. As for Dame Jacintha, besides her residue under the will,
she had ^ome snug little articles, which by the help of her good
friend she had appropriated to her own use during the last illness
L of the licentiate.
CHAPTER III.
GIL BLAS ENTEB8 INTO DOCTOR SANGEADO'S SERVICE, AND BECOMES ▲
FAMOUS PRACTITIONER.
I DETERMINED to throw myself in the way of Signer Arias de
Londona, and to look out for a new berth in his register ; but as
I was on my way to No Thoroughfare, who should come across rae
but Doctor Sangrado, whom I had not seen since the day of my
master's death. I took the liberty of touching my hat. He recog-
nized me in a twinkling, though I had changed my dress ; and with
as much warmth as his temperament would allow him : " Heyday I"
said he, " the very lad I wanted to see ; you have never been out of
my thoughts. I have occasion for a clever fellow about me, and
pitched upon you as the very thing, if you can read and write."
86 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
"Sir," replied I, "if that is all you require, I am your man." "In
that case," rejoined he, " we need look no further. Come home
with me; it will be all comfort; I shall behave to you like a brother.
You will have no wages, but everything will be found you. You
shall eat and drink according to the true faith, and be taught to
cure all diseases. In a word, you shall rather be my young San-
grado than my footman."
I closed in with the doctor's proposal, in the hope of becoming an
Esculapiua under so inspired a master. He carried me home on
the spur of the occasion, to install me in my honorable employ-
ment, which honorable employment consisted in writing down the
name and residence of the patients who sent for him in his absence.
There had indeed been a register for this purpose, kept by an old
domestic; but she had not the gift of spelling accurately, and wrote
a most perplexing hand. This account I was to keep. It might
truly be called a bill of mortality, for my members all went from
bad to worse during the short time they continued in this system.
I was a sort of bookkeeper for the other world, to take places in the
stage, and to see that the first come were the first served. My pen
was always in my hand, for Doctor Sangrado had more practice
than any physician of his time in Valladolid. He had got into
reputation with the public by a certain professional slang, humored
by a medical face, and some extraordinary cases, more honored by
implicit faith than scrupulous investigation.
He was in no want of patients, nor consequently of property. He
did not keep the best house in the world ; we lived with some little
attention to economy. The usual bill of fare consisted of peas,
beans, boiled apples or cheese. He considered this food as best
suited to the human stomach, that is to say, as most amenable to
the grinders, whence it was to encounter the process of digestion.
Nevertheless, easy as was their passage, he was not for stopping the
way with too much of them ; and, to be sure, he was in the right.
But though he cautioned the maid and me against repletion in
respect of solids, it was made up by free permission to drink as
much water as we liked. Far from prescribing us any limits there,
he would tell us sometimes : " Drink, my children ; health consists
in the pliability and moisture of the parts. Drink water by pail-
fuls— it is a universal dissolvent ; water liquefies all the salts. Is the
course of the blood a little sluggish? this grand principle sets it
forward; too rapid? its career is checked." Our doctor was so
orthodox on this head, that he drank nothing himself but water,
though advanced in years. He defined old age to be a natural con-
sumption which dries us up and wastes us away ; on this principle,
he deplored the ignorance of those who call wine old men's milk.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 87
He maintained that wine wears them out and corrodes them, and
pleaded with all the force of eloquence against that liquor, fatal in
common both to the young and old, that friend with a serpent in its
bosom, that pleasure with a dagger under its girdle.
In spite of these fine arguments, at the end of a week, a looseness
ensued, with some twinges, which I was blasphemous enough to
saddle on the universal dissolvent and the new-fashioned diet. I
stated my symptoms to my master, in the hope he would relax the
rigor of his regimen, and qualify my meals with a little wine ; but
his hostility to that liquor was inflexible. " If you have not philos-
ophy enough," said he, " for pure water, there are innocent infusions
to strengthen the stomach against the nausea of aqueous quaffings.
Sage, for example, has a very pretty flavor; and if you wish to
heighten it into a debauch, it is only mixing rosemary, wild poppy,
and other simples, but no compounds."
In vain did he crack off his water, and teach me the secret of
composing delicious messes. I was so abstemious, that, remarking
my moderation, he said : " In good sooth, Gil Bias, I marvel not
that you are no better than you are ; you do not drink enough, my
friend. Water taken in a small quantity serves only to separate
the particles of bile and set them in action ; but our practice is to
drown them in a copious drench. Fear not, my good lad, lest a
superabundance of liquid should either weaken or chill your
stomach ; far from thy better judgment be that silly fear of un-
adulterated drink. I will insure you against all consequences; and
if my authority will not serve your turn, read Celsus. That oracle
of the ancients makes an admirable panegyric on water ; in short,
he says in plain terms that those who plead an inconstant stomach
in favor of wine, publish a libel on their own bowels, and make their
organization a pretence for their sensuality."
As it would have been ungenteel in me to have run riot on my
entrance in the career of practice, I affected thorough conviction,
indeed I thought there was something in it. I therefore went on
drinking water on the authority of Celsus, or, to speak in scientific
terms, I began to drown the bile in copious drenches of that un-
adulterated li.quor ; and though I felt myself more out of order from
day to day, prejudice won the cause against experience. It is
evident, therefore, that I was in the right road to the practice of
physic. Yet I could not always be insensible to the qualms which
increased in my frame, to that degree, as to determine me on
quitting Doctor Sangrado. But he invested me with a new office
which changed my tone. " Hark you, my child," said he to me
one day, " I am not one of those hard and ungrateful masters who
leave their household to grow gray in service without a suitable
88 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
reward. I am well pleased with you, I have a regard for you, and
without waiting till you have served your time, I will make your
fortune. Without more ado, I will initiate you in the healing art,
of which I have for so many years been at the head. Other physi-
cians make the science to consist of various unintelligible branches ;
but I will shorten the road for you, and dispense with the drudgery
of studying natural philosophy, pharmacy, botany, and anatomy.
Remember, my friend, that bleeding and drinking warm water are
the two grand principles — the true secret of curing all the distempers
incident to humanity. Yes, this marvellous secret which I reveal
to you, and which Nature, beyond the reach of my colleagues, has
failed in rescuing from my pen, is comprehended in these two
articles, namely, bleeding and drenching. Here you have the sum
total of my philosophy ; you are thoroughly bottomed in medicine,
^nd may raise yourself to the summit of fame on the shoulders of
my long experience. You may enter into partnership at once, by
keeping the books in the morning, and going out to visit patients
in the afternoon. While I dose the nobility and clergy, you shall
labor in your vocation among the lower orders; and when you
have felt your ground a little, I will get you admitted into our
body. You are a philosopher, Gil Bias, though you have never
graduated ; the common herd of them, though they have graduated
in due form and order, are likely to run out the length of their
tether without knowing their right hand from their left."
I thanked the doctor for having so speedily enabled me to serve
as his deputy ; and by way of acknowledging his goodness, pro-
mised to follow his system to the end of my career, with a mag-
nanimous indifference about the aphorisms of Hippocrates. But that
engagement was not to be taken to the letter. This tender attach-
ment to water went against the grain, and I had a scheme for drinking
wine every day snugly among the patients. I left off wearing my
own suit a second time, to take up one of my master's, and look
like an inveterate practitioner; after which I brought my medical
theories into play, leaving them to look to the event whom it might
concern. I began on an alguazil in a pleurisy ; he was condemned
to be bled with the utmost rigor of the law, at the same time that
the system was to be replenished copiously with water. Next I
made a lodgment in the veins of a gouty pastry-cook, who roared
like a lion by reason of gouty spasms. I stood on no more ceremony
with his blood than with that of the alguazil, and laid no restric-
tion on his taste for simple liquids. My prescriptions brought me
in twelve rials, an incident so auspicious in my professional career,
that I only wished for the plagues of Egypt on all the hale subjects
of Valladolid. As I was coming out of the pastry-cook's, whom
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 89
should I meet but Fabricio, a total stranger since the death of the
licentiate Sedillo ! He looked at me with astonishment for some
seconds ; then set up a laugh with all his might, and held his sides.
He had no reason to be gr'ave, for I had a cloak trailing on the
ground, with a doublet and breeches of four times my natural
dimensions. I was certainly a complete original. I suffered him
to make merry as long as he liked, and could scarcely help joining
in the ridicule ; but I kept a guard on my muscles to preserve a
becoming dignity in public, and the better to enact the physician,
whose part in society is not that of a buffoon. If the absurdity of
my appearance excited Fabricio's merriment, my affected gravity
added zest to it ; and when he had nearly exhausted his lungs, " By
all the powers, Gil Bias," quoth he, " thou art in complete mas-
querade. Who the devil has dressed you up in this manner?"
" Fairly and softly, my friend," replied I, " fairly and softly ; be a
little on your good behavior with a modern Hippocrates. Under-
stand me to be the substitute of Doctor Sangrado, the most eminent
physician in Valladolid. I have lived with him these three weeks.
He has bottomed me thoroughly in medicine ; and as he cannot
perform the obsequies of all the patients who send for him, I visit a
part of them to take the burden off his conscience. He does execu-
tion in great families, I among the vulgar." " Vastly well," replied
Fabricio ; " that is to say, he grants you a lease on the blood of the
commonalty, but keeps to himself the fee-simple of the fashionable
world. I wish you joy of your lot ; it is a pleasanter line of prac-
tice among the populace than among great folk. Long live a snug
connection in the suburbs ! A man's mistakes are easily buried, and
his murders elude all but God's revenge. Yes, my brave boy, your
destiny is truly enviable; in the language of Alexander, were I
not Fabricio, I could wish to be Gil Bias."
To show the son of Nunez, the barber, that he was not much out
in his reckoning on my present happiness, I chinked the fees of the
alguazil and the pastry-cook ; and this was followed by an adjourn-
ment to a tavern, to drink to their perfect recovery. The wine was
very fair, and my impatience for the well-known smack made me
think it better than it was. I took some good long draughts, and
without gainsaying the Latin oracle, in proportion as I poured it
into its natural reservoir, I felt my accommodating entrails to owe
me no grudge for the hard service into which I pressed them. As
for Fabricio and myself, we sat some time in the tavern, making
merry at the expense of our masters, as servants are too much ac-
customed to do. At last, seeing the night approach, we parted, after
engaging to meet at the same place on the following day after
dinner.
90 AVVENTURES OF GIL BLA8.
CHAPTER IV.
GIL BLAS GOES ON PRACTICING PHYSIC WITH EQUAL SUCCESS AND
ABILITY. ADVENTURE OF THE BECOVEBED BING.
I WAS no sooner at home than Doctor Sangrado came in. 1
talked to him about the patients I had seen, and paid into his
haD,d9 eight remaining rials of the twelve I had received for my
prescriptions. "Eight rials!" said he, as he counted them; "mighty
little for two visits I But we must take things as we find them."
In the spirit of taking things as he found them, he laid violent
hands on six, giving me the other two. "Here, Gil Bias," continued
he, " see what a foundation to build upon. I make over to you the
fourth of all you may bring me. You will soon feather your nest,
my friend ; for, by the blessing of Providence, there will be a great
deal of ill health this year."
I had reason to be content with my dividend, since, having de-
termined to keep back the third part of what I received in my
rounds, and afterwards touching another fourth of the remainder,
half of the whole, if the arithmetic is anything more than a decep-
tion, would become my perquisite. This inspired me with new ze?!
for my profession. The next day, as soon as I had dined, I resumed
my medical paraphernalia, and took the field once more. I visited
several patients on the list, and treated their several complaints in
one invariable routine. Hitherto things went on under the rose, and
no individual, thank Heaven, had risen up in rebellion against my
prescriptions. But let a physician's cures be as extraordinary as
they will, some quack or other is always ready to rip up his reputa-
tion. I was called in to a grocer's son in a dropsy. Whom should
I find there before me but a little black-looking physician, by name
Doctor Cuchillo, introduced by a relation of the family. I bowed
round most profoundly, but dipped lowest to the personage whom I
took to have been invited to a consultation with me. He returned
my compliment with a distant air ; then, having stared me in the
face for a few seconds, — "Signor Doctor," said he, "I beg pardon
for being inquisitive ; I thought I had been acquainted with all my
brethren in Valladolid, but I confess your physiognomy is altogether
new. You must have been settled but a short time in town." I
avowed myself a young practitioner, acting as yet under the direc-
tion of Doctor Sangrado. " I wish you joy," replied he, politely ;
"you are studying under a great man. You must doubtless have
seen a vast deal of sound practice, young as you appear to be." He
spoke this with so easy an assurance, that I was at a loss whether
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 91
he meant it seriously, or was laughing at me. While I was conning
over my reply, the grocer, seizing on the opportunity, said, — " Gen-
tlemen, I am persuaded of your both being perfectly competent in
your art ; have the goodness without ado to take the case in hand,
and devise some effectual means for the restoration of my son's
health."
Thereupon the little pulse-counter set himself about reviewing
the patient's situation ; and after having dilated to me on all the
symptoms, asked me what I thought the fittest method of treatment.
" I am of opinion," replied I, " that he should be bled once a day,
and drink as much warm water as he can swallow." At these
words, our diminutive doctor said to me, with a malicious simper, —
"And so you think such a course will save the patient?" "Never
doubt it," exclaimed I, in a confident tone ; " it must produce that
effect, because it is a certain method of cure for all distempers.
Ask Signor Sangrado." " At that rate," retorted he, " Celsus is
altogether in the wrong, for he contends that the readiest way to
cure a dropsical subject is to let him almost die of hunger and
thirst," " Oh 1 as for Celsus," interrupted I, " he is no oracle of
mine — as fallible as the meanest of us ; I often have occasion to bless
myself for going contrary to his dogmas." "I discover by your
language," said Cuchillo, "the safe and sure method of practice
Doctor Sangrado instills into his pupils. Bleeding and drenching
are the extent of his resources. No wonder so many .worthy people
are cut off under his direction." . . . "No defamation I" inter-
rupted I, with some acrimony ; " a member of the faculty had better
not begin throwing stones." " Come, come, my learned doctor,
patients can get to the other world without bleeding and warm
water; and I question whether the most deadly of us has ever
signed more passports than yourself." " If you have any crow to
pluck with Signor Sangrado, write against him, he will answer you,
and we shall soon see who will have the best of the battle." " By
all the saints in the calendar !" swore he, in a transport of passion,
" you little know whom you are talking to. I have a tongue and a
fist, my friend, and am not afraid of Sangrado, who, with all his
arrogance and affectation, is but a ninny." The size of the little
death-dealer made me hold his anger cheap. I gave him a sharp
retort ; he sent back as good as I brought, till at last we came to
cuffs. We had pulled a few handfuls of hair from each other's
heads before the grocer and his kinsman could part us. When
they had brought this about, they paid me for my attendance, and
retained my antagonist, whom they thought the more skillful of the
two.
Another adventure succeeded close on the heels of this. I went to
92 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
see a huge chanter in a fever. As soon as he heard me talk of warm
water, he showed himself so averse to this specific, as to fall into a
fit of swearing. He abused me in all possible shapes, and threatened
to throw me out at the window. I was in a greater hurry to get out of
his house than to get in. I did not choose to see any more patients
that day, and repaired to the inn where I had agreed to meet Fab-
ricio. He was there first. As we found ourselves in a tippling
humor, we drank hard, and returned to our employers in a pretty
pickle,' that is to say, so-so in the upper story. Signer Sangrado
was not aware of my being drunk, because he took the lively ges-
tures which accompanied the relation of my quarrel with the little
doctor for an effect of the agitation not yet subsided after the
battle. Besides, he came in for his share in my report; and feeling
himself nettled by Cuchillo,— " You have done well, Gil Bias," said
he, " to defend the character of our practice against this little abor-
tion of the faculty. So he takes upon him to set hia face against
watery drenches in dropsical cases ? An ignorant fellow ! I main-
tain, I do, in my own person, that the use of them may be re-
conciled to the best theories. Yes, water is a cure for all sorts of
dropsies, just as it is good for rheumatism and the green sickness.
It is excellent, too, in those fevers where the effect is at once to
parch and to chill, and even miraculous in those disorders ascribed
to cold, thin, phlegmatic, and pituitous humors. This opinion may
appear strange to young practitioners like Cuchillo, but it is right
orthodox in the best and soundest systems: so that if persons of
that description were capable of taking a philosophical view, instead
of crying me down, they would become my most zealous advocates."
In his rage, he never suspected me of drinking : for^ to exasperate
him still more against the little doctor, I had thrown into my recital
some circumstances of my own addition. Yet, engrossed as he was
by what I had told him, he could not help taking notice that I drank
more water than usual that evening.
In fact, the wine had made me very thirsty. Any one but San-
grado would have distrusted my being so very dry as to swallow
down glass after glass ; but as for him, he took it for granted, in the
simplicity of his heart, that I began to acquire a relish for aqueous
potations. " Apparently, Gil Bias," said he, with a gracious smile,
"you have no longer such a dislike to water. As Heaven is my
judge ! you quaff it off like nectar. It is no wonder, my friend ; I
waa certain you would take a liking to that liquor." " Sir," replied
I, "there is a tide in the affairs of men : with my present lights, I
would give all the wine in Valladolid for a pint of water." This
answer delighted the doctor, who would not lose so fine an opportu-
nity of expatiating on the excellence of water. He undertook to
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 93
ring the changes once more in its praise, not like a hireling pleader,
but as an enthusiast in the cause. " A tliousand times," exclaimed
he, " a thousand and a thousand times of greater value, as being
more innocent than our modern taverns, were those baths of agea
past, whither the people went, not shamefully to squander their
fortunes and expose their lives by swilling themselves with wine, but
assembled there for the decent and economical amusement of drink-
ing warm water. It is difficult to admire the patriotic forecast
of those ancient politicians, who established places of public resort,
where water was dealt out gratis to all comers, and who confined wine
to the shops of the apothecaries, that its use might be prohibited,
but under the direction of physicians. What a stroke of wisdom I
It is -doubtless to preserve the seeds of that antique frugality, em-
blematic of the golden age, that persons are found to this day, like
you and me, who drink nothing but water, and are persuaded they
possess a prevention or a cure for every ailment, provided our warm
water has never boiled ; for I have observed that water wheu it has
boiled is heavier, and sits less easily on the stomach."
.While he was holding forth thus eloquently, I was in danger
more than once of splitting my sides with laughing. But I con-
trived to keep my countenance : nay, more, to chime in with the
doctor's theory. I found fault with the use of wine, and pitied
mankind for having contracted an untoward relish for so pernicious
a beverage. Then_, finding my thirst not sufficiently allayed, I filled
a large goblet with water, and after having swilled it like a horse :
"Come, sir," said I to my master, " let us drink plentifully of this
beneficial liquor. Let us make those early establishments of dilu-
tion you so much regret to live again in your house." He clapped
his hands in ecstasy at these words, and preached to me for a whole
hour about suffering no liquid but water to pass my lips. To con-
firm the habit, I promised to drink a large quantity every evening ;
and to keep my word with less violence to my private inclinations,
I went to bed with a determined purpose of going to the tavern
every day.
The trouble I had got into at the grocer's did not discourage me
from phlebotomizing and prescribing warm water in the usual
course. Coming out of a house where I had been visiting a poet in
a frenzy, I was accosted in the street by an old woman, who came
up and asked me if I was a physician. I said " Yes." " Ag that is
the case, I entreat you with all humility to go along with me. My
niece has been ill since yesterday, and I cannot conceive what is the
matter with her." I followed the old lady to her house, where I
was shown into a very decent room, occupied by a female who kept
her bed. I went near, to consider her case. Her features struck me
94 ADVENTURE fi OF Git BIAS.
from the first, and I discovered, beyond the possibility of a mistake,
after having looked at her some little time, the she-adventurer who
had played the part of Camilla so adroitly. For her part, she did
not seem to recollect me at ail, whether from the oppression of her
disorder, or from my dress as a physician rendering me not easy to
be known again. I took her by the hand, to feel her pulse, and saw
my ring upon her finger. I v;a» all in a twitter at the discovery of
a valuable on which I had a claim, both in law and equity. Great
was my longing to make a snatch at it; but considering that these
fair ones would set up a great scream, and that Don Raphael, or
some other defender of injured innocence, might rush in to their
rescue, I laid an embargo on my privateering. I thought it best to
come by my own in an honest way, and to consult Fabricio about
the means. To this last course I stuck. In the meantime the old
wo"man urged me to inform her with what disease her niece was
troubled. I was not fool enough to own my ignorance ; on the con-
trary, I took upon myself as a man of science, and, after my master's
example, pronounced solemnly that the disorder accrued to the
patient from the defect of natural perspiration ; that consequently
she must lose blood as soon as possible, because if we could not
open one pore, we always opened another ; and I finished my pre-
scription with warm water, to do the thing methodically.
I shortened my visit as much as possible, and ran to the son of
Nunez, whom I met just as he was going out on an errand for his
master. I told him my new adventure, and asked his advice about
laying an information against Camilla. " Pooh 1 Nonsense !" re-
plied he; "that would not be the way to get your ring again. Those
gentry think restitution double trouble. Call to mind your im-
prisonment at Astorga ; your horse, your money, your very clothes,
did they not all centre in the hands of justice ? We must rather set
our wits to work for the recovery of your diamond. I take on myself
the charge of inventing some stratagem for that purpose. I will
deliberate on it on my way to the hospital, where I have but to say
two words from my master to the purveyor. Do you wait for me
at our house of call, and do not be on the fret. I will be with you
shortly."
I had waited, however, more than three hours at the appointed
place when he arrived. I did not know him again at first. Besides
that he had changed his dress and platted his hair, a pair of false
whiskers covered half his face. He wore an immense sword, with a
hilt of at least three feet in circumference, and marched at the head
of five men of as swaggering an air as himself, with bushy whiskers
and long rapiers. " Good-day to you ! Signor Gil Bias," said he by
way of salutation ; " behold an alguazil upon a new construction, and
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 95
marahalmen of like materials in these brave fellows my companions.
We have only to be shown where the woman lodges who purloined
the diamond, and we will obtain restitution, take my word for it." I
hugged Fabricio at this discourse, which let me into the plot, and tes-
tified loudly my approval of the expedient. I paid my respects also to
the masquerading marshalmen. They were three servants and two
journeymen barbers of his acquaintance, whom he had engaged to
act this farce. I ordered wine to be served round to the detach-
ment, and we all went together at nightfall to Camilla's residence.
The door was shut, and we knocked. The old woman, taking my
companions to be on the scent of justice, and knowing that they
would not come into that neighborhood for nothing, was terribly
frightened. " Cheer up again, good mother," said Fabricio ; " we are
only come here upon a little business, which will soon be settled."
At these words we made our entry, and found our way to the sick-
chamber, under the guidance of the old dowager, who walked before
us, and by favor of a wax taper which she carried in a silver can-
dlestick. I took the light, went to the bedside, and, making
Camilla take particular notice of my features, " Traitress," said I,
" call to mind the too credulous Gil Bias whom you have deceived.
Ah ! thou wickedness personified, at last I have caught thee. The
corregidor has taken down my deposition, and ordered this alguazil
to arrest you. Come, officer," said I to Fabricio, " do your duty."
" There is no need," replied he, swelling his voice, " to inflame my
severity. The face of that wretch is not new to me : she has long
been marked with red letters in my pocket-book. Get up, my prin-
cess ; dress your royal person with all possible despatch. I will
be your squire, and lodge you in durance vile, if you have no
objection."
At these words Camilla, ill as she was, observing two marshalmen
with large whiskers ready to drag her out of bed by main force, sat
up of herself, clasped her hands in an attitude of supplication, and,
looking at :ne ruefully, said, " Signor Gil Bias, have compassion on
me ; I call as a witness to my entreaties the chaste mother whose
virtues you inherit. Guilty as I am, my misfortunes are greater
than my crimes. I will give you back your diamond, so do not be
my ruin." Speaking to this effect, she drew my ring from her
finger, and gave it me back. But I told her my diamond was not
enough, and that she must refund the thousand ducats they had
embezzled in the ready-furnished lodging. " Oh ! as for your
ducats," replied she, " ask me not about them. That false-hearted
deceiver, Don Raphael, whom I have not seen from that time to
this, carried them off the very same night," "O, ho! my little
darling," said Fabricio, in his turn, "that will not doj you had a
96 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
hand in the robbery, whether you went snacks in the profit or no.
You will not come off so cheaply. Your having been accessory lo
Don Raphael's manoeuvres is enough to render you liable to an
examination. Your past life is very equivocal, and you must have
a good deal upon your conscience. You will have the goodness, if
you please, just to step into the town jail, and there unburden your-
self by a general confession. This good old lady shall keei> you
company ; it is strange if she cannot tell a world of curious stories,
such as Mr. Corregidor will be delighted to hear."
At these words the two women brought every engine of pity into
play to soften us. They filled the air with cries, complaints, and
lamentations. While the old woman on her knees, sometimes
to the alguazil and sometimes to his attendants, endeavored to melt
their stubborn hearts, Camilla implored me, in the most touching
terms, to save her from the hands of justice. I pretended to relent.
" Officer," said I to the son of Nunez, " since I have got my diamond,
I do not care much about anything else. It would be no pleasure to
me to be the means of pain to that poor woman ; I want not the death
of a sinner." " Out upon you !" answered he ; " you set up for
humanity ! You would make a bad tipstaff. I must do my errand.
My positive orders are to arrest these virgins of the sun ; his honor
the corregidor means to make an example of them." " Nay, for
mercy's sake," replied I, " pay some little deference to my wishes,
and slacken a little of your severity, on the ground of the present
these ladias are on the point of offering to your acceptance." " Oh !
that is another matter," rejoined he ; " that is what you may call a
figure of rhetoric suited to all capacities and all occasions. Well,
then, let us see : what have they to give me ?" " I have a pearl
necklace," said Camilla, "and drop ear-rings of considerable value."
"Yes ; but," interrupted he roughly, " if these articles are the pro-
duce of the Philippine Isles, I will have none of them." "You
may take them in perfect safety," replied she: "I warrant them
real." At the same time she made the old woman bring a little
box, whence she took out the necklace and ear-rings, which she put
within the grasp of this incorruptible minister. Though he was
much such a judge of jewelry as myself, he had no. doubt of the
drops being real, as well as the pearls. " These trinkets," said he,
after having looked at them minutely, " seem to be of good quality
and fashion ; and if the silver candlestick is thrown into the bar-
gain, I would not answer to my own honesty." " You had better
not," said I in my turn to Camilla, "for a trifle reject so moderate
and fair a composition." While uttering these words, I returned the
taper to the old woman, and handed the candlestick over to Fabricio,
who, stopping there because perhaps he espied nothing else that was
AD VENTUREii OF GIL BLAS. 97
portable in the room, said to the two women : " Farewell, my dainty
misses : set your hearts at rest ; I will report you to his worship the
corregidor as purer than unsmutched snow. We can turn him round
our finger, and never tell him the truth except when we are not
paid for our lies."
CHAPTER V.
SEQUEL OP THE FOREGOING ADVENTURE. GIL BLAS RETIRES FROM
PRACTICE, AND FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF VALLADOLID.
AFTER having thus carried Fabricio's plan into effect, we took
our leave of Camilla's lodging, hugging ourselves on a suc-
cess beyond our expectation : for we had only reckoned on the ring.
We carried off without ceremony all we could get besides. Far from
making it a point of conscience not to steal from a description of
ladies whose names iire commonly associated with rogues, we
thought to cover some scores of other sins by so meritorious an
action, " Gentlemen," said Fabricio, when we were in the street,
" my counsel is for returning to our tavern, and devoting the night to
a regale. To-morrow we will sell the candlestick, the necklace, the
drop ear-rings, and then share the prize-money like brother adven-
turers, after which every man shall tramp home again, and make
the best excuse he can to his master," His worship the alguazil'a
idea seemed equally bright and judicious. We returned rank and
file to the tavern, some in the pious hope of finding a plausible
excuse for having slept abroad, others in a desperate indifference
about being turned out of doors without a character.
We ordered a good supper to be got ready, and sat down to the
table with our physical and mental powers in full vigor. The relish
was heightened by a thousand pleasant anecdotes. Fabricio, of all
men in the world, having the happy knack of a chairman in a com-
pany of jovial spirits, kept the table in a roar. There escaped from
him I know not how many charges of true Castilian wit, worth
more either in the schools of philosophy or the exchange of com-
merce than the drug of Attic salt. While we were in a full peal of
laughter, we were made to laugh on the other side of our mouths by
an unforeseen occurrence. There appeared at table a man of no
contemptible prowess, followed by two other as ill-looking dogs as
ever existed. After these specimens we had three others, and reck-
oned up to a dozen, marching in by triplets. They were armed
7
98 ADVENTURES OF GIL ULAS.
with carbines, swords and bayonets. We could not mistake their
office, and were at no loss to guess their business. At first we had a
mind to be refractory; but they beset us in an instant, and kept us
under, as much by their numbers as by their weapons. " Gentle-
men," said the captain commandant, in a jeering strain, " I have
been informed by what ingenious artifice you have recovered a ring
from the custody of a lady no better than she should be. Undoubt-
edly the device was admirable, and well deserves a civic crown ;
the patriotism of our police will not be found wanting. Justice,
with her lodgings to let for gentry of your description, will not be
deficient in her acknowledgments for so brilliant a display of
genius." The company to whom this introductory address was
directed looked a little sheepish on the occasion. Our countenances
fell ; and Camilla had her full revenge. Fabricio, however, though
pale and puzzled, made an attempt at a defence. "Sir," said he,
" we did it in the innocence of our hearts, and of course we shall be
forgiven this not immoral fraud ?" " What the devil 1" replied the
commandant, in a rage; "do you call this not immoral fraud?
Moral or immoral, it may bring you to the gallows. Besides that the
power of restitution is too sacred to be assumed by the individual,
you have made away with a candlestick, a necklace, and a pair of
drop ear-rings : and what is worse, you have committed your ras-
calities in the livery of the law. Scoundrels dressing themselves
up like the pillars of morality to undermine its very foundation I
I shall wish you much joy if you are condemned to nothing worse
than mowing the salt marsh." When we had impressed it on our
convictions that the afiair was even more serious than our first fears,
we threw ourseRes on his mercy, and implored him to have pity on
our tender years ; but his stubborn heart was relentless. Moreover,
he rejected the proposal of relinquishing the necklace, ear-rings, and
candlestick; nay, he was deaf to the rhetoric of my ring: perhaps
because I oflFered it before too many witnesses , in short, he was the
most obdurate dog of his kennel. He ordered my companions to be
handcuffed, and sent us in a body to the public prison. As we were
on our way, one of the marshalmen acquainted me that Camilla's
old vixen, suspecting us not to be licensed scouts of justice, had
dogged us to the tavern, and having satisfied her doubts, in revenge
informed against us to the patrol.
We were searched in the first instance. Away went the necklace,
the ear-rings, and the candlestick. They picked my pocket of my
ring, and my ruby of the Philippine Isles, without even sparing the
few fees I had received in the forenoon for my prescriptions ; so
that it was plain that trade was carried on by the same firm at
Valladolid as at Astorga, and that all these reformers held the same
I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 9»
creed. While they rifled me of my trinkets and money, the lord in
waiting of the patrol made known our adventure to the inferior
agents of legal rapine. The trespass appeared so audacious that the
majority voted it capital. A few kind souls were of opinion that we
might come off for two hunderd lashes apiece, with a few years on
board the galleys. Waiting his worship's sentence, we were locked
up in a cell, where we lay upon straw, spread over our stable like a
litter for horses. There might we have foddered for an age, and at
last have been turned out to grass in the galleys, if on the morrow
Signer Manuel Ordonnez had not got wind of our affair, and deter-
mined to release Fabricio, which he could not do without making a
general jail delivery. He was a man of the first credit in the town ;
his interest was exerted for us, and partly by his own influence, and
partly by that of his friends, he obtained our enlargement at the end
of three days. But the period of delivery is always moulting time
with jail birds ;_the candlestick, the necklace, the ear-rings, my
ring, and the ruby — all were lefl behind. One could not help re-
peating those excellent lines of Virgil beginning with Sic vos non
vobis.
As soon as we were at liberty, we returned to our masters. Doctor
Sangrado received me kindly. " My poor Gil Bias," said he, " it was
but this morning I was acquainted with thy misfortune. I was just
setting about an active canvass for thee. We must derive comfort
from adversity, my friend, and attach ourselves more than ever to
the practice of physic." I affirmed that to be my intention ; and, in
truth, I laid about me. Far from wanting employment, it happened
by a kind providence, as my master had foretold, to be a very sickly
season. The smallpox and a very malignant fever took alternate
possession of the town and suburbs. All the physicians in Valla-
dolid had their share of business, and we not the least. We saw
eight or ten patients a day, so that the kettle was kept on the sim-
mer, and the blood in the action of transpiring. But things will
happen cross ; they died to a man, either by our fault or their own.
If their case waa hopeless, we were not to blame ; and if it was not
hopeless, they were. Three visits to a patient was the length of our
tether. About the second, we sometimes ran foul of the undertaker;
or when we had been more fortunate than usual, the patient had
frot no further than the point of death. As I was but a young phy-
sician, not yet hardened to the trade of an assassin, I grieved over
the melancholy issue of my own theory and practice. " Sir," said
I one evening to Dr. Sangrado, " I call Heaven to witness on the spot
that I have never strayed from your. infallible method; and yet I
have never saved a patient : one would think that they died out of
spite, and were on the other side of the great medical question. This
100 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
very day I came across two of them, going into the country to be
buried." " My good lad," replied he, " my experience comes nearly
to the same point. It is but seldom I have the pleasure of curing
my kind and partial friends. If I had less confidence in my prin-
ciples, I should think my prescriptions had set their faces against
the work they were intended to perform." " If you will take a hint,
sir," replied I, " we had better vary our system. Let us give, by
way of experiment, chemical preparations to our patients : the worst
they can do is to tread in the steps of our pure dilutions and our
phlebotomizing evacuations." "I would willingly give it a trial," re-
joined he, "if it were a matter of indifference, but I have published
on the practice of bleeding and the use of drenches ; would you have
me cut the throat of my own fame as an author?" " Oh, you are in
the right," resumed I ; " our enemies must not gain this triumph
over us ; they would say that you were out of conceit with your own
systems, and would ruin your reputation by inconsistency. Perish
the people — perish rather our nobility and clergy ! — but let us go on
in the old path. After all, our brethren of the faculty, with all
their tenderness about bleeding, have no patent for longevity any
more than ourselves, and we may set off their drugs against our
specifics."
We went on working double tides, and did so much execution,
that in less than six weeks we made as many widows and orphans
as the siege of Troy. The plague must have got into Valladolid, by
the number of funerals. Day after day came some father or other
to know what was become of his son, who was last seen in our
hands ; or else a stupid fellow of an uncle, who had a foolish han-
kering after a deceased nephew. With respect to the nephews and
sons, on whose uncles and fathers we had equalized our system of
destruction, they thought that least said was soonest mended. Hus-
bands were altogether on their good behavior — they would not
split a hair about the loss of a wife or two. The real sufferers to
whose reproaches we were exposed were sometimes quite savage in
their grief; without being mealy-mouthed in their expressions, they
called us blockheads and assassins. I was concerned at their bad
language; but my master, who was up to every circumstance,
listened to their abuse with the utmost indifference. Yet I might
have grown as callous as himself to popular reproach if Heaven,
interposing its shield between the invalids of Valladolid and one of
their scourges, had not providentially raised up an incident to dis-
gust me with medicine, which from the outset had been disgusted
with me.
The idle fellows about town assembled every day in our neighbor-
hood for a game at tennis. Among the number was one of those
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 101
professed bullies who set up for great dons, and are the complete
cocks of the tennis-court. He was a Biscayan, and assumed the title
of Don Roderic de Mondragon. His age might be about thirty. His
size was somewhat above the common, but he was lean and bony.
Besides two sparkling little eyes rolling about in his head, and
throwing out defiance against all bystanders, a very broad nose
came in between a pair of red whiskers, which turned up like a
hook as high as the temples. His phraseology was so rough and
uncouth, that the very sound of his voice would throw a quiet man
into an ague. This tyrant over both the rackets and the game was
lord paramount in all disputes between the players ; and there was
no appeal from his decisions, but at the risk of receiving a chal-
lenge the next day. Precisely as I have drawn Signor Don Roderic —
whom the Don in the foreground of his titles could never make a
gentleman — he was sweet upon the mistress of the tennis-court. She
was a woman of forty, in good circumstances, as charming as forty
can well be, just entering on the second year of her widowhood. I
know not how he made himself agreeable; certainly not by his
exterior recommendations, but probably by that within which pass-
eth show. However that might be, she took a fancy to him, and
began to turn her thoughts towards the holy state of matrimony ;
but while that great event was in agitation, for the punishment of
her sins she was taken with a malignant fever, and with me for a
physician. Had the disorder been ever so slight, my practice would
have made a serious job of it. At the expiration of four days, there
was not a dry eye in the tennis-court. The mistress joined the out-
ward-bound colony of my patients, and her family administered to
her effects. Don Roderic, distracted at the loss of his mistress, or
rather disappointed of a good establishment, was not satisfied with
fretting and fuming at me, but sAvore he would run me through the
body, or even frown me into a nonentity. A good-natured neighbor
apprised me of this vow, with a caution to keep at home, for fear of
coming across this devil of a fellow. This warning, though taken
in good part, was a source of anxiety and apprehension. I was
eternally fancying the enraged Biscayan laying siege to the out-
works of my citadel. There was no getting a moment's respite from
alarm. This circumstance weaned me from the practice of medi-
cine, and I thought of nothing but deliverance from my horrors.
On went my embroidered suit once more. Taking leave of my
master, who did all he could to detain me, I got out of town with
the dawn, not heedless of that terrible Don Roderic, who might
waylay me on the road.
102 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER VI.
HIS BOTTTE FROM VAIXADOLID, WITH A DESCEIPTION OF HIS
FELLOW-TRAVELLEK.
I TRUDGED on at a great rate, and looked behind from time to
time, to see if that dreadful Biscayan was not following me.
My imagination was so engrossed by the fellow, that he haunted me
in every tree and bush ; my heart was in my mouth for fear at
every footfall. But I took courage again at the distance of about a
league, and went on more gently towards Madrid, whither I pro-
posed directing my steps. I had no attachment to Valladolid. All
my regret was at tearing myself from Fabricio, my dear Pylades, of
whom I had not so much as taken my leave. It was no grievance to
give up physic; on the contrary, I prayed to Heaven to forgive me
for having tampered with it. Yet I did not count over the contents
of my purse with less pleasure because they were the wages of mur-
der. In this I took after those ladies who retire with a fortune to
lead pious lives, and think it hard if they may not fatten religiously
on the hard earnings of their libertine profession. I had in rials
somewhere about the value of five ducats, and this was the sum
total of my property. With these I designed repairing to Madrid,
where I had no doubt of finding a good service. Besides, I wished
above all things to be in that magnificent city, the boasted epitome
of the world and all its wonders.
When I was recollecting what I had heard of it, and enjoying
beforehand the pleasures it affords, I heard the voice of a man
coming after me, and singing till he had scraped his throat. He had
a wallet on his back, a guitar suspended from his neck, and a long
sword by his side. He got on at such a rate as soon to overtake me.
Who should it be but one of the two journeymen barbers with whom
I had been in jail for the adventure of the ring. We knew one
another at once, though we had shifted our dresses, and were in a
thousand marvels at meeting so unexpectedly on the highway. If I
testified my delight at having such a fellow-traveller, he seemed on
his side to feel an excess of rapture at the renewal of our acquaint-
ance. I told him why I had left Valladolid, and he trusted his own
secret to me in return, by stating that he had had a little brush with
his master, on which they had taken an everlasting leave of each
other. "Had it been my pleasure," continued he, "to have taken
up my abode longer in Valladolid, ten shops would have taken me
in for one that would have turned me out, since, vanity apart, I may
safely say there is not a barber in all Spain better qualified to shave
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 103
all sorts of beards, with the grain or against the grain, and to curl a
pair of whiskers. But I could no longer fight against a hankering
after my native place, whence I departed full ten years since. I wish
to inhale a little of my own country air, and to learn the present
situation of my family. I shall be among them the day after to-
morrow, at a place called 01m6do, a populous village on this side of
Segovia."
I resolved on accompanying this barber home, and going to
Segovia for the chance of a cast to Madrid. We began enter-
taining one another with indifferent subjects as we went along.
The young fellow was perfectly good-humored, with a ready wit.
After an hour's conversation, he asked me if I was hungry. I re-
ferred him to the first house of call for my answer. " To stop dilapi-
dations till we get there," said he, " we may renew our term by a
little breakfast from my wallet. When I am on a journey, I am
always my own caterer. None of your woollen-drapery, nor linen-
drapery, nor any of your frippery or trumpery. I hate ostentation.
My wallet contains nothing but a little exercise for my grinders, my
razors, and a wash-ball." I extolled his discretion, and agreed with
all my heart to the bargain he proposed. My appetite was keen and
sharp-set for a comfortable meal ; after what he had said, I could
expect no less. We drew aside a little from the high road, and sat
down upon the grass. There my little journeyman barber laid out
his provisions, consisting of five or six onions, with some scraps of
bread and cheese; but the best lot in the auction was a little
leathern bottle, full, as he said, of choice, delicate wine. Though
the solids were not very relishing, the calls of hunger did not allow
either of us to be dainty ; and we emptied the bottle too, containing
about two pints of a wine one could not recommend without some
remorse of conscience. We then rose from table, and set out again
on the tramp in high glee. The barber, who had heard some little
snatches of my story from Fabricio, entreated me to furnish him
with the whole from the best authority. It was impossible to refuse
so munificent an host; I therefore gave him the satisfaction he
required. In my turn I called on him, as an acknowledgment of my
frankness, to communicate the leading circumstances of his terres-
trial peregrinations. " Oh ! as for my adventures," exclaimed he,
"they are scarcely worth recording, — a mere catalogue of common
occurrences. Nevertheless, since we have nothing else to do, I will
run over the narrative, such as it is." At the same time he entered
on the recital nearly in the following termis.
104 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS.
CHAPTER VII.
THE JOURNEYMAN BARBER'S STORY.
" T" TAKE up my tale from the origin of things. My grandfather,
I Ferdinand Perez de la Fuenta, barber-general to the village
of 01m6do for fifty years, died, leaving four sons. The eldest,
Nicholas, succeeded to the shop, and lathered himself into the good
graces of the customers. Bertrand, the next, having taken a Ikncy
to trade, set up for a mercer ; Thomas, who was the third, turned
schoolmaster. As for the fourth, by name Pedro, feeling within
himself the high destinies of learning, he sold a dirty acre or two
which fell to his share, and went to settle at Madrid, where he
hoped one day to distinguish himself by his genius and erudition.
The other three brothers would not part ; they fixed their quarters
at Olmedo, marrying peasants' daughters, who brought their hus-
bands very little dowry, except an annual present of a chopping
young rustic. They had a most public-spirited emulation in child-
bearing. My mother, the barber's wife, favored the world with a
contribution of six within the first five years of her marriage. I was
among the number. My father initiated me betimes in the myste-
ries of shaving; and when he saw me grown up to the age of fifteen,
laid this wallet across my shoulders, presented me with a long
sword, and said, ' Go, Diego, you are now qualified to gain your own
livelihood ; go and travel about. You want a little acquaintance
with the world to give you a polish, and improve you in your art.
Off with you ! and do not return to Olmedo till you have made the
tour of Spain, nor let me hear of you till that is accomplished.''
Finishing with this injunction, he embraced me with fatherly affec-
tion, and shoved me out of doors by the shoulders.
"Such were the parting benedictions of my sire. As for my
mother, who had more the touch of nature in her manners, she
seemed to feel somewhat at my departure. She dropped a few tears,
and even slipped a ducat by stealth into my hand. Thus was I sent
from Olmedo into the wide world, and took the road of Segovia. I
did not go two hundred yards without stopping to examine my bag.
I had a mind to view its contents, and to know the precise amount
of my possessions. There I found a case with two razors, which
must have travelled post over the chins of ten generations, by the
evidence of their wear and tear, with a strap to set them, and a bit
of soap. In addition to this, a coarse shirt, quite new, a pair of my
fatlier's shoes, quite old, and, what rejoiced me more than all the
rest, a rouleau of twenty rials in a linen bag. Behold the sum total
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 105
of my personals. You may conclude master Nicholas, the barber,
to have reckoned a good deal on my ingenuity, by his turning me
adrift with so slender a provision. Yet a ducat and twenty rials,
by way of fortune, was enough to turn the head of a young man
unaccustomed to money concerns. I fancied my stock of cash inex-
haustible, and pursued my journey in the sunshine of brilliant
anticipation, looking Irom time to time at the hilt of my rapier,
while the blade was striking against the calf of my leg at every step,
or tripping up my heels.
" In the evening I reached the village of Ataquin6s with a very
catholic stomach. I put up at the inn ; and, as if I meant to spend
freely, asked, in a lofty tone, what there was for supper. The land-
lord examined my pretensions with his eye, and finding according
to what cloth my coat was cut, said, with a true publican's civility,
' Yes, yes, my worthy master, you shall have no reason to com-
plain ; we will treat you like a lord.' With this assurance, he
showed me ipto a little room, whither he brought me, a quarter of
an hour afterwards, a ragout made of a great he cat, on which I
feasted with as famous an appetite as if it had been hare or rabbit.
This excellent drsh was washed down by so choice a wine, that the
king had no better in his cellars. I found out, however, that it was
pricked ; but that was no hindrance to my doing it as much honor
as I did the he cat. The last article in this entertainment for a lord
was a bed better adapted to drive sleep away than to invite it.
Figure it to yourself about the width of a coffin, and so short that I
could not stretch my legs, though none of the longest. Besides,
there was neither mattress nor feather bed, but merely a little straw
sewed up in a sheet folded double, which was laid down clean for
every hundredth traveller, and served the other ninety-nine, one
after another, without washing. Nevertheless, in such a bed, with
a stomach which was distended to a surfeit by fricasseed cat, and
then raked by sour wine, thanks to youth and a good constitu-
tion, I slept soundly, and passed the night without being in any
way disturbed.
"On the following day, when I had breakfasted, and paid the
reckoning, as I had been treated like a lord, I made but one stage
to Segovia. On my arrival, I had the good fortune to find a shop,
where they took me in for my board and lodging ; but I stayed
there only six months ; a journeyman barber with whom I got
acquainted was going to Madrid, and drew me in to set off with
him. I had no difficulty in procuring a situation on the same foot-
ing as at Segovia. I got into a shop of the very best custom. It is
true, it was near the Church of the Holy Cross, and that the neigh-
borhood of the Prince's Theatre brought a great deal of businesa.
106 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
My master, two stirring fellows, and myself, could scarcely lather
the chins of the people who came to be shaved. They were of all
trades and conditions, among the rest, players and authors. One
day, two persons of the last description happened to meet. They
began conversing about the poets and pieces in vogue, when one of
them mentioned my uncle's name — a circumstance which drew my
attention more particularly to their discourse. ' Don Juan de Zava-
leta,' said one, ' will never do any good as an author. A man of a
cold genius, without a spark of fancy, he has written himself down
at a terrible rate by his last publication.' 'And Louis Velez de
Guevara,' said the other, ' what has he done ? A fine work to bring
before the public! Was there ever anything so wretched?' They
mentioned I know not how many poets besides, whose names I have
forgotten : I only recollect that they said no good of them. As for
my uncle, they made a more honorable menrton of him, agreeing
that he was a personage of merit. ' Yes,' said one, * Pon Pedro de la
Fuenta is an excellent author ; there is a sly humoK: in his works,
blended with solid sense, which communicates an Attic poignancy
to their general effect. I am not surprised at his popularity, both
in court and city, nor at the pensions settled on him by the great.'
' For many years past,' said the other, ' he has enjoyed a very large
income. He lives at the Duke de Medina Cell's table, and has an
apartment in his house, so that he is at no expense; he must be
well-to-do in the world.'
" I lost not a syllable of what these poets were saying about my
uncle. We had learned in the family that he made a noise in
Madrid by his works ; some travellers, passing through Olm^do, had
told us so; but as he took no notice of us, and seemed to have
weaned himself from all natural ties, we on our side lived in a state of
perfect indifference about him. Yet nature will prevail ; as soon as I
had heard that he was in a fair way, and had learned where he lived,
I was tempted to call upon him. One thing staggered me a little;
the literati had styled him Don Pedro. This don was an awkward
circumstance: I had my doubts whether he might not be some
other poet of the name, and not my uncle. Yet that apprehension
did not damp my ardor. I thought he might have been ennobled
for his wit, and determined to pay him a visit. For this purpose,
with my master's leave, I tricked myself out one morning as well as
I could, and sallied from our shop, a little proud of being nephew to
a man who had gained so high a character by his genius. Barbers
are not the most diffident people in the world. I began to conceive
no mean.opinion of myself; and riding the high horse with all the
arrogance of greatness, inquired my way to the Duke de Medina
Cell's palace, I rang at the gate, and said I wanted to speak with
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 107
Signer Don Pedro de la Fuenta. The porter pointed with his finger
to a uarroAv staircase at the fag end o£ the court, and answered, —
' Go up there, then knock at the first door on your right.' I did as
he directed me, and knocked at a door. It was opened by a young
man, whom I asked if those were the apartments of Signor Don
Pedro de la Fuenta. ' Yes,' answered he, ' but you cannot speak to
him at present.' ' I should be very glad,' said I, 'just to say. How
are you ? I bring him news of his family.' 'And if you brought
him news of the pope,' replied he, * I could not introduce you just
now. He is writing, and while his wits are at work, he must not be
disturbed. He will not be able to receive company till noon ; take
a turn, and come back about that time.'
" I departed, and walked about town all the morning, incessantly
meditating on the reception my uncle would give me. ' I think,' said
I within myself, ' he will be overjoyed to see me.' I measured his
feelings by my own, and prepared myself for a very affecting dis-
covery. I returned punctually at the appointed hour. ' You are
just in time,' said the servant; 'my master was going out. Wait
here a moment : I will announce you.' With these words, he left
me in the ante-chamber. He returned almost immediately, and
showed me into his master's room. The face struck me all at once
as a family likeness. To be sure he was the very image of my uncle
Thomas ; they might have been taken for twins. I bowed down to
the ground, and introduced myself as the son' of Master Nicholas de
la Fuenta, the barber of 01m6do. I likewise informed him that I
had been working at ray father's trade in Madrid, for these three
weeks, as a journeyman, and intended making the tour of Spain to
complete my education. While I was speaking, my uncle was evi-
dently in a brown study. He seemed to doubt whether he should
disown me at once or get rid of me with some little sacrifice to
decency. The latter course he adopted. Affecting the affable, he
said, ' Well, my good kinsman, how are your father and your uncles?
Do they get on in the world ?' I began thereupon by laying before
him the family knack at propagation. All the children, male and
female, I called over by their names, with their godfathers and god-
mothers included in the list I He took no extravagant interest in
the particulars of my tale; but, leading- to his own purposes, —
'Diego,' replied he, *I am quite of your mind. You should go
from place to. place, and see a variety of practice. I would not have
you tarry. longer at Madrid: it is a very dangerous residence for
youth ; you may get into bad habits, my sweet fellow. Other towns
will suit you better; the state of society in the provinces is more
patriarchal and philosophical. Determine on emigration; and
when your departure is fixed, come and take your leave. I will con-
108 ADVENTURES OF (hlL JiLAS.
tribute a pistole to the tour of Spain.' With this kind assurance,
he handed me out of the room, and sent me packing.
" I had not worldly wisdom enough to find out that he wanted to
get quit of me. I went back to our shop, and gave my master an
account of the visit 1 had paid. He looked no deeper than myself
into Signor Don Pedro's motives, and observed : ' I cannot help dif-
fering from your worthy uncle ; so far from advising you to travel
the provinces, the real thing would be, in my opinion, to give you a
comfortable settlement in this city. He is hand-and-glove with the
first people ; it is an easy matter for him to establish you in a great
family ; and that is a fortune at once.' Struck with this lucky dis-
covery, which seemed to settle the point without difficulty, I called
on my uncle again two days afterwards, and made a modest pro-
posal to him for a situation about some leading character at court.
But the hint was not taken kindly. A proud man, living at free
quarters among the great, and dining with them in a family party,
did not exactly wish that, while he was sitting at my lord's table,
his nephew should be a guest in the servants' hall. Little Diego
might bring a scandal on Signor Don Pedro, He had no hesitation,
therefore, in fairly turning me out of doors, and that with a flea in
my ear. ' What, you little rascal I' said he, in a fit of extravagance,
' do you mean to relinquish your calling ? Begone ; I consign you
to the reptile whose pernicious counsels will be your ruin. Take
your leave of these premises, and never set your foot on them again,
or you shall have the reception you deserve 1' I was absolutely
stunned at this language, and still more at the peremptory tone my
nncle assumed. With tears in my eyes I withdrew, quite overcome
by his severity. Yet, as I had always been lively and confident in
my temper, I soon wiped away my tears. My grief was even turned
into resentment, and I determined to take no further notice of this
unnatural relative, whose kind oflices I had hitherto been contented
to want.
" My attention was henceforth directed to the cultivation of my
professional talent; I was quite a plodding fellow at my trade. I
scraped away all day ; and in the evening, by way of relief to my
scraping, I twanged the guitar. My master on that instrument was
an old Senor Escudero whom I shaved. He taught me music in
return ; and he was an adept. To be sure, he had formerly been a
chorister in a cathedral. His name was Marcos de Obregon. He
was a man of the world, with good natural parts and acquired
knowledge, which jointly induced him to fix on me as an adopted
son. He was engaged as an attendant on a physician's lady, resi-
dent within thirty yards of our house. I went to him in the even-
ing, when shop was shut, and we two, sitting on the threshold of the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 109
door, made up a little concert not displeasing to the neighborhood.
It was not that our voices were very fine ; but in thrumming on the
catgut, we made a pretty regular accompaniment to our duet, and
filled up the harmony sufficiently for the gratification of our hearers.
Our music was particularly agreeable to Donna Mergelina, the phy-
sician's wife; she came into the passage to hear us, and sometimes
encored us in her favorite airs. Her husband did not interfere with
her amusement. Though a Spaniard, and in years, he was not pos-
sessed with jealousy ; besides, his profession took up all his time ;
and as he came home in the evening, worn out with his numerous
visits, he went to bed at an early hour, without troubling himself
about his wife or our concerts. Possibly, if he thought about them
at all, he might consider them as little likely to produce dangerous
consequences. He had an additional security in his wife. Merge-
lina was young and handsome with a witness, but of so fierce a
modesty, that she started at the very shadow of a man. How could
he take umbrage at an amusement of so harmless and decorous a
nature? He gave us leave to sing our hearts out.
" One evening, as I came to the physician's door, intending to
take my usual recreation, I found the old squire waiting for me.
He took me by the hand, saying that he wished to take a little walk
with me before we struck up our little concert. At the same time
he drew me aside into a by-street, where, finding an opportunity of
opening his mind : * Diego, my good lad,' said he, with a melancholy
air, * I want to give you a hint in private. I much fear, my good
and amiable youth, that we shall both have reason to repent of be-
guiling our evenings with little musical parties at my master's door.
Rely on my sincere friendship : I do not grudge your lessons in
singing and on the guitar ; but if I could have foreseen the storm
now brewing, in the name of charity, I would have selected some
other spot to communicate my instructions !' This address alarmed
me. I entreated the gentle squire to be more explicit, and to tell
me what we had to fear ; for I was no Hector, and the tour of Spain
was not yet finished. 'I will relate to you,', replied he, 'what it
concerns you to know, that you may take proper measure of our
present danger.
"'When I got into the service of the physician, about a year ago,
he said one morning, after having introduced me to his wife : " There,
Marcos, you see your mistress ; that is the lady you are to accom-
pany in all her peregrinations." I was smitten with Donna Merge-
lina: she was lovely in the extreme, a model for an artist, and her
principal attraction was the pleasantness of her deportment. " Hon-
ored sir," replied I to the physician, " it is too great a happiness to
be in the train of so charming a lady." My answer was taken amiss
no ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
by Mergelina, who said, rather crustily, " A pleasant gentleman this !
He is perfectly free and easy. Believe me, his fine speeches may go
a begging for me !" These words, dropped from such lovely lips,
seemed rather inconsistent— the manners and ideas of bumpkins and
dairy-maids coupled wjth all the graces of the most lovely woman
in the world ! As for her husband, he was used to her ways ; and,
hugging himself on the unrivalled character of his rib, " Marcos,"
said he° " my wife is a miracle of chastity." Then, observing her
put on her v^il, and make herself ready to go to mass, he told me to
attend on her at church. We were no sooner in the street than we
met— and it was no wonder— blades who, struck with Donna Mer-
gelina'a genteel carriage, told her a thousand flattering tales as they
passed by. She was not backward in her answers ; these were silly
and ill-timed, beyond what you can conceive. They were all in
amaze, and could not imagine how a woman should take it amiss to
be complimented. " Why, really ! madam," said I to her at first,
" you had better be silent, or shut your ears to their addresses, than
reply with asperity." " No, no," replied she ; " I will teach these
coxcombs that I am not a woman to put up with impertinence." In
short, her absurdity went so far, that I could not help telling her my
mind, at the hazard of her displeasure. I gave her to understand,
yet with the greatest possible caution, that she was unjust to nature,
whose handiwork she marred by her preposterous ferocity ; that a
woman of mild and polished manners might inspire love without
the aid of beauty ; whereas the loveliest of the sex, divested of
female softness, was in danger of becoming the public scorn. To
this ratiocination I added collateral arguments, always directed to
the amendment of her manners. After having moralized to no
purpose, I was afraid my freedom might exasperate my mistress, and
draw upon me some taunting repartee. Nevertheless, she did not
mutiny against my advice, but silently rendered it of no avail; and
thus we went on from day to day.
" ' I was weary of pointing out her errors to no purpose, and gave
her up to the ferocious temperament of her nature. Yet, could you
think it ? the savage humor of that proud woman is entirely changed
within these two months. She has a kind word for all the world,
and manners the most accommodating. It is no longer the same
Mergelina who gave such homely answers to the compliments of her
swains ; she is become assailable by flattery ; loves to be told she is
handsome — that a man cannot look at her without paying for it ;
her ears itch for fine speeches, and she is become a very woman.
Such a change is almost inconceivable : and the best of the joke is,
that you are the worker of this unparalleled miracle. Yes, my dear
Diego, it is you who have transformed Donna Mergelina : you have
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. Ill
softened down the tigress into a domestic animal ; in a word, you
have made her feel. I have observed it more than once ; and never
trust my knowledge of the sex, if she is not desperately in love
with you. Such, my dear boy, is the melancholy news I have to
communicate — the awkward predicament in which we stand.'
" * I do not see,' said I in my turn to the old man, ' that there is
anything so melancholy in this accident, or any peculiar awkward-
ness in being the object of a pretty woman's partiality.' 'Ah ! Diego,'
replied he, * you argue like a young man : you only see the bait,
without guarding against the hook ; pleasure is your lure, while my
thoughts are directed to the unpleasant circumstances attending it.
Murder will out. If you go on singing at our door, you will pro-
voke Mergelina's passion ; and she, probably, losing all command
over herself, will betray her weakness to her husband. Dr. Oloroso.
That wretched husband, so complying now that he thinks there is
no ground for jealousy, will run wild, take signal vengeance upon
her, and perhaps play some dog's trick or other to you and me.'
' Well, then !' rejoined I, ' your reasons shall be conclusive with me,
and your sage counsels my rule. Lay down the line of conduct I
am to adopt for the prevention of any left-handed catastrophe.'
' We will have no more concerts,' Was his peremptory decree. ' Do
not show yourself any more to my mistress : when the sight of you
does not inflame her, she will recover her composure. Stay within
doors : I will call in upon you, and we will torture the guitar with
impunity.' 'With all my heart,' said I, ' and I will never set my
foot again in your premises.' In good truth, I was determined to
serenade no longer before the physician's door, but henceforth to
keep within the precincts of my shop, since my attractions as a man
were so formidable.
" In the meantime, good Squire Marcos, with all his prudence,
experienced in the course of a few days that the plan he had de-
vised to quench Donna Mergelina's flame produced a directly oppo-
site effect. The lady on the second night not hearing me sing, asked
why we had discontinued our concerts, and the reason of my absence.
He told her I was so busy as not to have a moment to spare for
relaxation. She seemed satisfied with that excuse, and for three
days longer bore the disappointment of all her hopes like a heroine ;
but at the end of that period, my martyr to the tender passion lost
all patience, and said to her conductor, ' You are playing false with
me, Marcos ; Diego has not discontinued his visits without a cause.
This mystery must be unravelled. Speak, I command you; conceal
nothing from me !' * Madam,' answered he, making use of another
subterfuge, 'since the truth must be told, it has often happened to him
to find the cloth taken away at home after the concert; he cannot run
112 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
the risk any longer of going to bed without his supper.' * What,
without his supper I' exclaimed she in an agony, * why did not you
tell me so sooner? Go to bed without his supper 1 Oh, the poor
little sufferer I Go to him this instant, and let him come again this
evening ; he shall not go home starving any more, there shall
always be a luncheon for him.'
" ' What do I hear ?' said the squire, affecting astonishment at this
language. *0, Heaven, what a reverse! Is this you, madam, and
are these your sentiments ? Well-a-day ! Since when are you so
compassionate and tender-hearted?' 'Since,' replied she signifi-
cantly, * since you have lived in this house, or rather since you dis-
approved my disdainful manners, and have labored to soften the
acrimony of my temper. But, alas !' added she, in a melting mood,
* I have gone from one extreme to the other. Proud and insensible
as I was, I am become too susceptible — too tender, I am enamored
of your young friend Diego, and I cannot help myself; his absence,
far from allaying my ardor, only adds fuel to the fire.' ' Is it possi-
ble/ resumed the old man, ' that a young fellow with neither face
nor person should have inspired so strong a passion ? I could
make allowance for your feelings, if they had been set afloat by
some nobleman of distinguished merit,' . . , * Ah ! Marcos,' inter-
rupted Mergelina, ' I am not like the rest of my sex ; or, rather,
spite of your long experience, your penetration is but shallow if
you fancy merit to have much share in our choice. Judging by
myself, we all leap before we look. Love is a mental derangement,
forcibly drawing all our views and attachments into one vortex — a
species of hydrophobia. Have done, then, with your hints that
Diego is not worthy of my tenderness ; that he has it is enough to
invest him with a thousand perfections too ethereal for your gross
sight, and perhaps too unsubstantial for any but a lover's percep-
tion. In vain you disparage his features or his stature ; in my eyes
he was created to undo, and encircled by the hand of Nature with
the glories of the opening day. Nay, more, there is a thrilling
sweetness in his voice ; his touch on the guitar has the taste of an
amateur and the execution of a professor.' 'But, madam,' sub-
joined Marcos, ' do you consider who Diego is ? The meanness of
his station.' . . . 'My own is very little better,' interrupted she
again ; ' though were I of noble birth, it would make no difference
in my sensations.'
"The result of that conference was that the squire, concluding he
should make no impression on the mind of his mistress, gave over
struggling with her obstinacy, as a skillful pilot runs before the
Btorm, though it carries him out to sea from his intended port. He
did more: to satisfy his patroness, he paid me a visit, took me
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 113
aside, and, after having related what passed between them, said,
' You see, Diego, that we cannot dispense with the performance of
our concerts at Mergelina's door. Absolutely, my friend, that lady
must see you again, otherwise she may commit some act of despera-
tion fatal to her good name.' I was not inexorable, but answered
Marcos that I would attend with my guitar early in the evening,
and despatched him to his mistress with the happy tidings. He
executed his oflSce, and the impassioned dame was out of her wits
with joy in the delicious prospect of hearing and seeing me in a few
hours.
" A most disagreeable circumstance, however, was very near dis-
appointing her in that hope. I could not leave home before night,
and, for my sins, it was dark as pitch. I went groping along the
street, and had got maybe half way, when down from a window
came upon my head the contents of a perfuming-pan, which did not
tickle my olfactory nerves very pleasantly. I may say that not a
whiif was wasted, so exactly had the giver taken measure of the
receiver. In this situation I was at a loss on what to resolve. To
go back by the way I came, what an exhibition before my com-
rades I It was surrendering myself to all their nasty witticisms.
Then, again, go to Mergelina in such a glorious trim, that hurt my
feelings on the other side. I determined at length to get on towards
the physician's. The old usher was waiting for me at the door. He
said that Doctor Oloroso had gone to bed, and we might amuse
ourselves as we liked. I answered that the first thing was to purify
my drapery, at the same time relating my misfortune. He seemed
to feel for me, and showed m& into a hall where his mistress was
sitting. As soon as the lady got wind of my adventure, and had
confirmed the testimony of her nose by the evidence of her eyes,
she mourned over me as grievously as if my miseries had been mor-
tal ; then, apostrophizing the absent cause of my foul array, she
uttered a thousand imprecations. 'Well, but, madam,' said Marcos,
' do moderate this ecstasy of grief, consider that such casualties will
happen ; there is no occasion to take on so bitterly.' ' Why !' ex-
claimed she, with vehemence, 'why would you debar me from the
privilege of weeping over the injuries of this tender lamb, this dove
without gall, who does not so much as murmur at the affront he has
sustained? Alas I why am I not a man at this moment, to avenge
him!'
" She uttered numberless soothing expressions besides, to mark
distinctly the excess of her devotion, and her actions corresponded
with her words ; for while Marcos was employed in wiping me down
with a towel, she ran into her chamber and brought out a box fur-
nished with every variety of perfume. She burned swcet-smelling
8
114 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
drugs, and perfiimed my clothes with them, after which she
drenched me in a deluge of essences. The fumigation and aspersion
ended, this bountiful lady went hereelf and fetched from the kitchen
bread, wine, and some good slices of roast mutton, set by on pur-
pose for me. She forced me to eat, and, taking a pleasure in wait-
ing on me, sometimes carved for me, and sometimes filled my glass,
in spite of all that Marcos and myself could do to anticipate her
condescension. When I had done supper, the gentlemen of the
orchestra struck the key-note, and tuned their sweet voices to the
pitch of their guitars. We played and sang to the heart's delight
of Mergelina. To be sure we took care to carol none but amorous
ditties ; and as we sang, I every now and then leered at her with
such a roguish meaning, as to throw oil upon the fire, for the game
began to be interesting. The concert, though the acts were long,
was not tedious. As for the lady, to whom hours seemed to fly like
seconds, she could have been content to exhaust the night in listen-
ing, if the old squire, with whom the seconds seemed to lag like
hours, had not hinted how late it was. She gave him the trouble of
enforcing his moral on the lapse of time by at least ten repetitions.
But she was in the hands of a man not to be turned aside from his
purpose; he let her have no rest till I was gone. Sensible and pro-
vident as he was, seeing his mistress given up to a mad passion, he
dreaded lest our harmony should be resolved by some discord. His
fears were ominous. The physician, whether his mind misgave him
of some foul play, or the spirit of jealousy, hitherto on its good
behavior, had a mind to harass him gratuitously, bethought himself
of quarrelling with our concerts. He did more — he put a broad
negative upon them, and without assigning his reasons for acting in
this violent way, declared that he would sufier no more strangers to
come about his premises.
" Marcos acquainted me with this mortifying declaration, particu-
larly levelled against my rising hopes. I had begun bobbing at this
dainty cherry, and did not like to lose my game. Nevertheless, to
act the part of a faithful reporter and true historian, I must own my
impatience did not affect my health or spirits. Not so with Merge-
lina : her feelings were more alive than ever. ' My dear Marcos,'
said she to her usher, 'it is only from you that I look for succor.
Contrive, I beseech you, that I may see Diego in private.' ' What
do you require?' asked the old man, with a reproachful accent. 'I
have been but too indulgent to you. I am not a person to crown
your wanton wishes at the expense of my master's honor, your good
fame, and my own eternal infamy — the infamy of a nian whose past
life has been one continued series of faithful service and exemplary
condact. I would rather leave the family than stay in it on such
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 116
scandalous conditions.' 'Alas! Marcos,' interrupted the lady,
frightened out of her wits at these last words, ' you wring my heart
by talking in this manner. Obdurate man 1 Can you bear the
thought of sacrificing her who lays all her present agony to your
account ? Give me back my former pride, and that savage soul you
have taken from me. Why am I no longer happy in my very im-
perfections ? I might now have been at peace, but your rash coun-
sels have robbed me of the repose I then enjoyed. You, the corrector
of my manners, have tampered with my morals. . . . But why do I
rave, unhappy wretch that I am? — why upbraid you thus wrong-
fully ? No, my guardian angel, you are not the fatal source of all
my miseries ; my evil destiny had decreed these tortures to await
me. Lay not to heart, I conjure you on my knees, these transports of
a disordered imagination. Oh, mercy ! my passion drives me mad ;
have compassion on my weakness ; you are my sole support and
stay ; if, then, my life is not indifferent to you, deny me not your aid.'
" At these words her tears flowed in fresh torrents, and stifled her
lugubrious accents. She took out her handkerchief, and throwing
it over her face, fell into a chair like a person overcome by her
affliction. Old Marcos, who was perhaps one of the most tractable
go-betweens in the world, could no longer steel his heart against so
touching a spectacle. Pierced to the quick, he even mingled his
tears with those of his mistress, and spoke to her in a softened tone :
'Ah, madam, why are you thus bewitching? I cannot hold out
against your sorrowful complaints ; my virtue yields under the
pressure of my pity. I promise you all the relief in my power. No
longer do I marvel at the oblivious influence of passion over duty,
since mere sympathy can mislead my footsteps from its thorny
paths.' Thus did this pander, whose past life has been one con-
tinued series of faithful service and exemplary conduct, sell himself
to the devil to feed Mergelina's illicit flame. One morning he came
and talked over the whole business with me, saying at his departure
that he had a scheme in his head to bring about a private interview
between us. At the thought, my hopes were all rekindled ; but they
glimmered tremblingly in the socket at a piece of news 1 heard two
hours afterwards. A journeyman apothecary in the neighborhood,
one of our customers, came indto be shaved. While I was making
ready to trim his bushy honors, he said, ' Master Diego, do you
know anything about your friend the old usher, Marcos de Obre-
gon ? Is he not going to leave Dr. Oloroso ?' I said ' No.' ' But
he is, though,' replied he ; ' he will get his dismission this very day.
His master and mine were talking about it just now in my hearing,
and their conversation was to the following effect : " Signor Apun-
tador," said the physician, " I have a favor to beg of you. I am not
116 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
easy about an old usher of mine, and should like to place my wife
under the eye of a trusty, strict, and vigilant duenna." " I under-
stand you," interrupted my master. " You want Dame Melancia,
my wife's directress, and indeed mine for the last six weeks, since I
have been a widower. Though she would be very useful to me in
housewifery, I give her up to you, from a paramount regard to your
honor. You may rely upon her for the security of your brow ; she
is the phoenix of the duenna tribe — a spring-gun and a man-trap
set in the purlieus of female chastity. During twelve whole years
that she was about my wife, whose youth and beauty, you know,
were not without their attractions, I never saw the least semblance
of manhood within my doors. No, no I By all the powers I that
game was not so easily played. And yet I must let you know that
the departed saint — Heaven rest her soul! — had in the outset a
great hankering after the delights of the flesh ; but Dame Melancia
cast her in a new mould, and regenerated her to virtue and self-
denial. In short, such a guardian of the weaker sex is a treasure,
and you will never have done thanking me for my precious gift."
Hereupon the doctor expressed his rapture at the issue of the con-
ference, and they agreed (Signor Apuntador and he) on the duenna's
succeeding the old usher on this very day,'
" This news, which I thought probable, and turned out to be true,
disturbed the pleasurable ideas just now beginning to flow afresh,
and renovate my soul. After dinner, Marcos completed the convul-
sion, by confirming the young drug-pounder's story: 'My dear
Diego,' said the good squire, 'I am heartily glad that Doctor Olo-
roso has turned me off"; it spares me a world of trouble. Besides
that it hurt my feelings to be invested with the ofl5ce of a spy, end-
less must have been the shifts and subterfuges to bring you and
Mergelina together in private. We should have been rarely gra-
velled ! Thanks to Heaven, I am set free from all such perplexing
cares, to say nothing of their attendant danger. On your part, my
dear boy, you ought to be comforted for the loss of a few soft
moments, which must have been dogged at the heels by a thousand
fears and vexations.' I relished Marcos' sermon well enough, be-
cause my hopes were at an end — the game was lost. I was not, it
must be confessed, among the number of those stubborn lovers who
bear up against every impediment ; but though I had been so, Dame
Melancia would have made me let go my hold. The established
character of that duenna would have daunted the adventurous spirit
of a knight-errant. Yet, in whatever colors this phoenix of the
duenna tribe might have been painted, I had reason to know, two
or three days afterwards, that the physician's lady had unset the
man-trap and spring-gun, and given a stop to this watch-dog of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 117
lubricity. As I was going out to shave one of our neighbors, a civil
old gentlewoman stopped me in the street, and asked me if my
name was Diego de la Fuenta. I said ' Yes.' * That being the
case,' replied she, ' I have a little business with you. Place yourself
this evening at Donna Mergelina's door ; and when you are there,
give a signal, and you shall be let in.' * Vastly well !' said I ; ' what
must the signal be ? I can take off a cat to the life. Suppose I was
to mew a certain number of times.' * The very thing,' replied this
Iris of intrigue ; ' I will carry back your answer. Your most obe-
dient, Signor Diego ! Heaven protect the sweet youth ! Ah, you
are a pretty one I By St. Agnes, I wish I was but sweet fifteen : I
would not go to market for other folks 1' With this hint, the old
procuress waddled out of sight.
"You may be sure this message put me in no small flutter.
Where now was the morality of Marcos? I waited for night with
impatience, and, calculating the time of Dr. Oloroso's going to
bed, took my station at his door. There I set up my caterwauling,
till you might hear me ever so far off, to the eternal honor of the
master who instructed me in that imitative art. A moment after,
Mergelina opened the door softly with her own dear hands, and shut
it again with me on the inside. We went into the hall, where our
last concert had been performed. It was dimly lighted by a small
lamp, which twinkled in the chimney. We sat down side by side,
and began our tender parley, each of us overcome by our emotions,
but with this difference, that hers were all inspired by pleasure,
while mine were somewhat tainted by fear. In vain did the divinity
of my adorations assure me that we had nothing to fear from her
husband. I felt the access of an ague, which unmanned my vigor.
' Madam,' said I, ' how have you eluded the vigilance of your direct-
ress? After what I have heard of Dame Melancia, I could not
have conceived it possible for you to contrive the means of sending
me any intelligence, much less of seeing me in private.' Donna
Mergelina smiled at this remark, and answered : ' You will no longer
be surprised at our being together to-night when I tell you what has
passed between my duenna and me. As soon as she came to her
place, my husband paid her a thousand compliments, and said to
me : " Mergelina, I consign you to the guidance of this wary lady,
herself an abstract of all the virtues : in this glass you may look
without a blush, and array yourself in habits of wisdom. This
extraordinary personage has for these twelve years been a light to
the ways of an apothecary's wife of my acquaintance ; but how has
she been a light to them ? . . . why, as ways never were enlightened
before: she turned a very slippery piece of mortal flesh into a
downright nun."
118 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
" * This panegyric, not belied by the austere mien of Dame Mel-
ancia, cost me a flood of tears, and reduced me to despair. I fan-
cied tlie din of eternal lectures from morning till night, and daily
rebukes too harsh to be endured. In short, I laid my account in a
life of wretchedness beyond the patience of a woman. Keeping no
measures in the expectation of such cruel sufferings, I said bluntly
to the duenna, the moment I was alone with her : " You mean, no
doubt, to exercise your tyranny most wantonly on my poor person ;
but I cannot bear much severity, I warn you beforehand. I give
you, moreover, fair notice, that I shall be as savage as you can be.
My heart cherishes a passion which not all your remonstrances shall
tear from it : so you may act accordingly. Watch me as closely as
you please ; it is hard if I cannot outwit such an old thing as you."
At these taunting words, I thought this saracen in petticoats was
going to give me a specimen of her discipline. But, so far from it,
she smoothed her brow, relaxed her surly features, and primming
up her mouth into a smile, promulgated this comfortable doctrine:
" Your temper charms me, and your frankness calls for a return.
We must have been made for one another. Ah ! lovely Mergelina,
little do you fathom my character, to be deceived by the fine com-
pliments of your husband the Doctor, or by my Tartar contour !
There was never a creature more fortified against moral prejudices !
My inducement for getting into the service of jealous husbands ■is to
lend myself to the enjoyments of their pretty wives. Long have I
trodden the stage of life in masquerade; and I may call myself
doubly happy, in the spiritual rewards of virtue, and the temporal
indulgences of the opposite side. Between ourselves, mine is the
system of all mankind in the long run. Real virtue is a very expen-
sive article: plated goods look just as well, and are within the reach
of all purchasers.
" ' Put yourself under my direction. We will make Doctor Oloroso
pay the piper to our dancing, or I am no duenna. By my troth, he
shall go the way of Signor Apuntador and all mankind. There is
no reason why the forehead of a physician should be smoother than
the brow of an apothecary. Poor dear Apuntador! What fun
have we had with him, his wife and 1 1 A charming woman, that
wife of his I A dear little creature, open to all mankind, and pre-
judiced by none ! Well I she is at peace, and has not left her fellow
behind her ! Take my word, short as her time was, she made the
most of it. Let me see how many rampant chaps have been
brought to their bearings in that house, without the dear, deluded
husband being waked out of his evening's nap! Now, madam,
you may see me in my true light; and assure yourself, whatever
might be the abilities of your old usher, you will not fiire the
ADVENTUBES OF GIL BLAS. 119
worse for going further. If he was a benefit to you, I shall be a
blessing."
" * You may judge for yourself, Diego,' continued Mergelina, 'how
well I took it of the duenna, that she laid herself open so frankly.
I had taken her virtue to be of the impenetrable cast. Look you,
now, how much women are liable to be scandalized. But her char-
acter of plain dealing w^on my heart at once. I threw my arms
about her neck in a rapture, which bespoke my warm and tender
feelings at the thought of such a mother-abbess. I gave her carte
blanche of all my private thoughts, and put in for a speedy tete-d-
tSte with your own dear self. She met me on my own ground. This
very morning she engaged the old woman who spoke to you to take
the field : she is an old stager — a veteran in the service of the apoth-
ecary's wife. But the best of the joke in this comedy,' added she,
in a paroxysm of laughter, ' is that Melancia, on my assurance that
my husband's habit is to pass the night without stirring, is gone to
bed by his side, and drones out my useless ofiice at this moment.'
'So much the worse, madam,' said I then to Mergelina; 'your de-
vice is more plausible than profitable. Your husband is very likely
to wake, and discover the fraud.' ' He will not discover anything
about it,' replied she, with no little urgency ; ' set your heart at rest
about that, and let not an empty fear poison the fountains of a
pleasure which ought to drown every vulgar and earthly considera-
tion in the arms of a young lady who is yours forever,'
" The old doctor's helpmate, finding that her assurances had little
effect upon my courage, left no stone unturned to put me in heart
again ; and she had so many encouraging ways with her, that a very
coward must have plucked up a little. My thoughts were all with
Jupiter and Alcmena; but at the very moment that the urchin
Cupid, with his train of smiles and antics, was weaving a garland
to compliment the crisis of our endeavors, we were stopped in our
career by an importunate knocking at the street door. In a mo-
ment, away flew love, and all his covey, like game at the report of a
fowling-piece. Mergelina popped me, like an article of household
furniture, under the hall table, blew out the lamp, and, by previous
agreement with her governess, in the event of so unlucky an acci-
dent, placed herself at the door of her husband's bedchamber. In
the meantime, the knocking continued with reiterated violence, till
the whole house resounded. The physician awoke suddenly, and
called Melancia. The duenna flung herself out of bed, though the
doctor, taking her for his wife, begged of her not to disturb herself.
She ran to her mistress, who, catching hold of her in the dark,
began calling Melancia ! and told her to go and see who was at the
door. * Madam,' answered the directress, * here I am at your ser-
120 ADVENTUBES OF GIL BLAS.
vice ; go to bed again, if you please ; we shall soon know who it is.'
During this parley, Mergelina, having undressed, got into bed to
the doctor, who had not the least suspicion of the farce that was
playing. To be sure the stage was darkened, and the actresses had
very little occasion for a prompter ; one of them was familiar with
the boards, and the other only wanted a rehearsal or two to be per-
fect in her part.
" The duenna, in her night-gown, made her appearance soon after,
with a candle in her hand. * Good doctor,' said she to her master,
* have the goodness to get up. Our neighbor Fernandez de Buendia,
the bookseller, is in an apoplectic fit : you are sent for ; time presses.'
The physician got on his clothes as fast as he could, and went out.
His wife, in her bed-gown, came into the hall with the duenna.
They dragged me from under the table more dead than alive. ' You
have nothing to fear, Diego,' said Mergelina ; ' put yourself in proper
order.' At the same time she told me how things were in two words.
She had half a mind to renew our amorous intercourse ; but the di-
rectress knew better. * Madam,' said she, ' your husband may possibly
be too late to help the bookseller to the other world, and then he
will return immediately. Besides,' added she, observing me be-
numbed with fright, * it would be all lost labor upon this poor youth I
He is not in a condition to answer your demands. You had better
send him home, and defer the debate till to-morrow evening.' Donna
Mergelina was sorry for the delay, as well knowing that a bird in
hand is worth two in the bush ; and I flatter myself that she was
disappointed at not putting a cuckold's nightcap on the doctor's
head.
"As for me, less grieved at having drawn a blank in the lottery of
love than rejoiced at getting my neck out of an halter, I returned to
my master's, where I passed the remainder of the night in moral-
izing on the scene I had left. For some time I was in doubt whether
to keep my appointment on the following evening. I thought it
was a foolish business from first to last ; but the devil, who is ahvays
lurking for his prey, or rather taking possession of us as his lawful
property, whispered in my ear that I should be a great fool to pack
up my all when the prize was falling into my hands. Mergelina,
too, with opening and unfathomable charms ! The exquisite pleas-
ure that awaited me ! I determined to stick to my text ; and pro-
mising myself a larger share of self-possession, took my station the
next evening at the doctor's door, between eleven and twelve, in a
most spirit-stirring humor. The heavens were completely dar-
kened— not a star to prate of my whereabouts. I mewed twice or
thrice to give warning of my being in the street; and, as no one
answered my signal, I was not satisfied with going over the old
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLA8. 121
ground, but ran up and down the cat's gamut from bass to treble,
and from treble to bass, just as I used to sol-fa with a shepherd of
Olmedo, I tuned my fundamental bass so musically, that a neigh-
bor on his return home, taking me for one of those animals whose
mewiugs I counterfeited, picked up an unlucky flint lying at his
feet, and threw it at me with all his force, saying, ' The devil fetch
that cat !' I received the blow on my head, and was so stunned for
the moment, that I was very near falling backward. I found the
skin was broken. This was enough in all conscience, to give me a
surfeit of gallantry ; so that, my passion oozing out with my blood,
I made the best of my way homewards^ where I rendered night
hideous by my howling, and knocked all the family up. My mas-
ter probed my wound, and played the true surgeon on it ; he pro-
nounced the consequences to be uncertain. He did all he could to
make them certain ; but flesh will heal in spite of the faculty ; and
there was not a scar remaining in three weeks. During all this
time, I heard not a word from Mergelina. The probability is that
Dame Melancia, to wean her impure thoughts from me, engaged
her in some better sport. However, I did not concern myself about
the matter, but left Madrid, to continue my tour of Spain, as soon
as I found myself perfectly recovered."
CHAPTER VIII.
THE MEETING OF GIL BLAS AND HIS COMPANION WITH A MAN SOAK-
ING CBUSTS OF BKEAD AT A SPRING, AND THE PARTICXTLAK8 OF
THEIR CONVERSATION.
SIGNOR Diego de la Fuenta related some other adventures
which had since happened to him, but they were so little wor-
thy of preservation, that I shall pass them by in silence. Yet there
was no getting rid of the recital, which was tedious enough : it
lasted as far as Ponte de Duero. We halted in that town the re-
mainder of the day. Our commons at the inn consisted of a vege-
table soup and a roast hare, whose genus and species we took
especial pains to verify. At daybreak on the following morning we
resumed our journey, after having replenished our flask with some
very tolerable wine, and our wallet with some pieces of bread, and
half the hare we had left from supper. When we had gone about
two leagues, we waxed hungry, and espying, about two hundred
122 ADVENTURES. OF GIL BLAS.
yards from the high road, some spreading trees which threw an
agreeable shade over the plain, we made up to the spot, and rested
on our arms. There we met with a man, from seven to eight-and-
twenty, who was dij^ping crusts of bread into a spring. He had a long
sword lying by him on the grass, with a soldier's knapsack, of which
he had eased his shoulders. We thought his air and person better
than his attire. We accosted him with civility, and he returned our
salutation. He then offered us his crusts, and asked, with a smile,
if we would take pot-luck with him. We answered in the affirma-
tive, provided he had no objection to our clubbing our own break-
fast, by way of making the meal more substantial. He agreed to it
with the utmost readiness, and we immediately produced our pro-
visions, which were not unacceptable to the stranger. "What is all
this, gentlemen," exclaimed he, in a transport of joy; "here is
ammunition for an army I By your forecast, you must be commis-
saries or quartermasters. I do not travel with so much contrivance,
for my part, but depend a good deal on the chances of the road. At
the same time, though appearances may be against me, I can say,
without vanity, that I sometimes make a very brilliant figure in the
world. Would you believe that princely honors are commonly be-
stowed on me, and that I have guards in attendance ?" " I compre-
hend you," said Diego ; " you mean to tell us you are a player."
"You guess right," replied the other; "I have been an actor for
these fifteen years at least. From my very infancy I was sent on
the boards in children's parts." "To deal freely," rejoined the
barber, shaking his head, " I do not believe a word of it, I know
the players ; those gentry do not travel on foot, like you, nor do
they mess with St. Anthony. I doubt whether you are anything
better than a candle-snuffer." " You may," quoth the son of Thes-
pis, ''think of me as you please; but my parts, for all that, are in
the first line : I play the lovers." " If that be the case," said my
companion, " I wish you much joy, and am delighted that Signor
Gil Bias and myself have the honor of breakfasting with so eminent
a character."
We then began to pick up our crumbs, and to gnaw the precious
relics of the hare, bestowing such hearty smacks upon the bottle as
to empty it very shortly. We were all three so deeply engaged in
the great affair of eating, that we said very little till we had
finished, when we resumed our conversation. " I wonder," said the
barber to the player, " that you should be so much out at elbows.
For a theatrical hero, you have but a needy exterior I I beg pardon
if I speak rather freely." "Rather freely!" exclaimed the actor;
" ah I by my troth, you are not yet acquainted with Melchior Zapata.
Heaven be praised I I have no mind to see things in a wrong light.
The Poor Actoii.
p. 122.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 123
You do me a pleasure by speaking so confidently, for I love to un-
bosom myself without reserve. I honestly own I am not rich.
Here," pursued he, showing us his doublet lined with playbills,
" this is the common stuff which serves me for linings ; and if you
are curious to see my wardrobe, you shall not be disappointed." At
the same time he took out of his knapsack a dress, laced with tar-
nished frippery ; a shabby head-dress for a hero, with an old plume
of feathers ; silk stockings, full of holes, and red morocco shoes, a
great deal the worse for wear. " You see," said he again, " that I
am very little better than a beggar." " That is astonishing," re-
plied Diego ; " then you have neither wife nor daughter ?" " I
have a very handsome young wife," rejoined Zapata, " and yet I
might just as well be without her. Look with awe on the lowering
aspect of my horoscope, I married a personable actress, in the
hope that she would not let me die of hunger ; and, to my cost, she
is cursed with incorruptible chastity. Who the devil would not
have been taken in as well as myself? There was but one virtuous
princess in a whole strolling company, and she, plague take her !
fell into my hands." " It was throwing with bad luck most un-
doubtedly," said the barber. " But then, why did not you look out
for an actress in the regular theatre at Madrid ? You would have
been sure of your mark." " You are perfectly in the right," re-
plied the stroller ; " but the mischief is, we underlings dare not
raise our thoughts to those illustrious heroines. It is as much as an
actor ^f the prince's company can venture on ; nay, some of them
are obliged to match with citizens' daughters. Happily for our fra-
ternity, citizens' daughters, nowadays, contract theatrical notions ;
and you may often meet with characters among them to the full as
eccentric as any bo7ia roha of the green-room."
" Well, but have you never thought," said my fellow-traveller,
"of getting an engagement in that company? Is it necessary to be
a Roscius for that purpose ?" " That is very well of you !" replied
Melchior, " you are a wag with your Eoscius I There are twenty
performers. Ask the town what it thinks of them, and you will
hear a pretty character of their acting. More than half of them
deserve to carry a porter's knot. Yet, for all that, it is no easy
matter to get upon, the boards. Bribery or interest must make up
for the defect of talent. I ought to know what I say, since my
d6hu.i at Madrid, where I was hissed and cat-called as if the devil
had got among the grimalkins, though I ought to have been re-
ceived with thunders of applause ; for I whined, ranted, and offered
all sorts of violence to nature's modesty ; nay, I went so far as to
clench my fist at the heroine of the piece ; in a word, I adopted the
conceptions of all the great performers ; and yet that same audience
124 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
condemned, by bell, book, and candle, in me, what was thought to
be the first style of playing in them. Such is the force of prejudice!
So that, being no favorite with the pit, and not Having wherewithal
to insinuate myself into the good graces of the manager, I am on
my return to Zamora. There we shall all huddle together again,
my wife and my fellow-comedians, who are making but little of the
business. I wish we may not be obliged to beg our way out of
town — a catastrophe of too frequent occurrence I"
At these words, up rose the stage-struck hero, slung across him
his knapsack and his sword, and made his exit with due theatrical
pomp : " Farewell, gentlemen ; may all the gods shower all their
bounties on your heads !" "And you," answered Diego with cor-
responding emphasis, " may you find your wife at Zamora, softened
down in her relentless virtue, and in comfortable keeping." No
sooner had Signor Zapata turned upon his heel, than he began ges-
ticulating and spouting as he went along. The barber and myself
immediately began hissing, to remind him of his first appearance at
Madrid. The goose grated harsh upon his tympanum ; he took it
for a repetition of signals from his old friends. But, looking behind
him, and seeing we were diverting ourselves at his expense, far from
taking offence at this merry conceit of ours, he joined with good
humor in the joke, and went his way, laughing as hard as he could.
On our part, we returned the compliment in kind. After this, we
got again into the high road, and pursued our journey.
CHAPTER IX.
THE MEETING OF DIEGO WITH HIS FAMILY ; THEIE CIRCtTMSTANCES IN
LIFE ; GREAT REJOICINGS ON THE OCCASION ; THE PARTING SCENE
BETWEEN HIM AND GIL BLAB.
WE stopped for the night at a little village between Moyados
and Valpuesta — I have forgotten the name — and the next
morning, about eleven, we reached the plain of 01m6do. "Signor
Gil Bias," said my companion, " behold my native place. So natural
are these local attachments, that I can hardly contain myself at the
sight of it." "Signor Diego," answered I, "a man of so patriotic
a soul as you profess to be, might, methinks, have been a little more
florid in his descriptions. 01m6do looks like a city at this distance,
and you called it a village ; it cannot be anything less than a cor-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 126
porate town." " I beg its township's pardon," replied the barber ;
" but you are to know that after Madrid, Toledo, Saragossa, and all
the other large cities I have passed through in my tour of Spain,
these little ones are mere villages to me." As we got further on the
plain, there appeared to be a great concourse of people about 01-
m6do ; so that, when we were near enough to distinguish objects,
we were in no want of food for speculation.
There were three tents pitched at some distance from each other ;
and, hard-by, a bevy of cooks and scullions preparing an entertain-
ment. Here, a party was laying covers on long tables set out under
the tents ; there, a detachment was crowning the pitchers of Tellus
with the gifts of Bacchus. The right wing was making the pots
boil, the left was turning the spits and basting the meat. But what
caught my attention more than all the rest, was a temporary stage
of respectable dimensions. It was furnished with pasteboard scenes,
painted in a tawdry style, and the proscenium was decorated with
Greek and Latin mottoes. No sooner did the barber spy out these
inscriptions, than he said to me: "All these Greek words smell
strongly of my uncle Thomas's lamp. I would lay a wager he has
a hand in them, for, between ourselves, he is a man of parts and
learning. He knows all the classics by heart. If he would keep
them to himself it would be very well, but he is always quoting them
in company, and that people do not like. But then, to be sure, he
has a right, because this uncle of mine has translated ever so many
of the Latin poets and hard Greek authors with his own hand and
pen. He has got all antiquity at his fingers' ends, as you may know
by his ingenious and profound criticisms. If it had not been for
him, we might never have learned that the Athenian schoolboys
cried when they were flogged ; we owe that fact in the history of
education to his fundamental knowledge of the subject,"
After my fellow-traveller and myself had looked about us, we had
a mind to inquire what these preparations were for. Going about
on the hunt, Diego recognized in the manager, Signor Thomas de la
Fuenta, to whom we made up with great eagerness. The school-
master did not recollect the young barber at first, such a difference
had ten years made. But when convinced of his being his own
flesh and blood, he gave him a cordial embrace, and said, with much
appearance of kindness, " Ah ! here you are Diego, my dear nephew,
here you are, restored after your wanderings to your native land.
You come to revisit your household gods, your Penates ; and heaven
delivers you back, safe and sound, into the bosom of your family.
O, happy day ! happy in all the proportions of arithmetic 1 — a day
worthy to be marked with a white stone, and inserted among the
Fasti 1 We have annals in abundance for you, my friend ; your
126 V ADVENTUBES OF OIL BLAS.
uncle Pedro, the poetaster, has fallen a sacrifice at the shrine of
Pluto : to speak to the comprehension of the vulgar, he has been
dead these three mouths. That miser, in his lifetime, was afraid of
wanting necessaries — Argetiti pallebat arnore. Though the great
were heaping wealth upon his head, his annual expenditure did not
amount to ten pistoles. He had but one miserable attendant, and
him he starved. This crazy fellow, more wrong-headed thau Gre-
cian Aristippus, who ordered his slaves to leave all their costly bag-
gage in the heart of Lybia, as an incumbrance on their marck,
heaped up all the gold and silver he could scrape together. And to
what end ? for those very heirs whom he refused to acknowledge.
He died worth thirty thousand ducats, shared between your father,
your uncle Bertrand, and myself. We shall be able to do very well
for our children. My brother Nicholas has already married off your
sister Theresa to the son of a magistrate in this place — Connubio
junxit stabili propriamque dicavit. These very hymeneals, greeted
auspiciously by all the nuptial powers, have we been celebrating for
these two days with all this pomp and luxury. These tents in the
plain are of our pitching. Pedro's three heirs have each a booth of
his own, and we defray the expenses of the day alternately. I wish
you had come sooner, you might have seen the whole progress of
our festivities. The day before yesterday — the wedding-day — your
father gave his treat. It was a superb entertainment, succeeded by
running at the ring. Your uncle, the mercer, regaled us, yesterday,
with a fete champetre, and paid the piper handsomely. There were
ten of the best grown boys, and ten young girls, dressed out in pas-
toral weeds; all the frippery in his shop was brought out to prank
them up. This assemblage of Ganymedes and Houris ran through
all the mazes of the dance, and warbled forth a thousand tender and
spirit-stirring lays. And yet, though nothing was ever more genteel,
the effect was not thought striking; but that must be owing to the
bad taste of the spectators — the simplicity of pastoral is lost upon
the present age.
" To-day, the wheels are greased by your humble servant, and I
mean to present the burgesses of Olm^do with a pageant of my own
invention — Finis coronabit optis. I have got a stage erected, on which,
God willing, shall be represented by my scholars, a piece of my own
composing, entitled and called. The Amusements of Muley Bugentuf,
King of Morocco. It will be played to perfection, for my pupils de-
claim like the players of Madrid. They are lads of family at
Penafiel and Segovia, boarders with me. They know how to touch
the passions I To be sure they have rehearsed under my tuition ;
their emphasis will seem as if stnick in the mint of their ma.ster — ut
ita dicam. With respect to the piece I shall not say a word about
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 127
it — you shall be taken by surprise. I shall simply state that it
must produce a deep impression on the audience. It is one of those
tragic subjects which harrow up the soul, by images of death pre-
sented to the senses in all their fearful forms. I am of Aristotle's
mind, terror is a principal engine. O ! if I had written for the stage,
I would have introduced none but bloody tyrants, and death-dis-
pensing heroes. Not all the perfumes of Arabia should have sweet-
ened this blood-polluted hand ; I would have been up to my elbows
in gore. There would have been tragedy with a vengeance ; prin-
cipal characters ! ay, guards and attendants should all have been
sprawling together. I would have butchered every man of them,
and the prompter into the bargain. In a word, I refine upon Ajp'is-
totle, and border on the horrible — that is my taste. These plays to
tear a cat in, are the only things for popularity ; the actors live
merrily on their own dying speeches, and the authors roll in luxury
on the devastation of mankind."
Just as this harangue was over, we saw a great crowd of both
sexes coming out of town into the plain. Who should it be, but
the new-married couple, attended by their families and friends, with
ten or twelve musicians in the van, producing a most obstreperous
din of harmony. We went up to them, and Diego introduced him-
self. Peals of congratulation were immediately rung through the
assembly, and every one was eager to shake him by the hand. He
haa enough upon his shoulders to receive all their fraternal em-
braces. Relations and strangers, all were for having a pull at him.
At length his father said : "You are welcome, Diego. You find your
kinsmen living upon the fat of the land, my friend. I shall say no
more at present : a nod is as good as a wink." Meanwhile the com-
pany went forward upon the plain, took their stations under the
tents, and sat down to table. I kept close to my companion, and we
both dined with the happy couple, who appeared to be suitably
matched. The meal was not soon over, for the schoolmaster had
the vanity to give three courses, for the purpose of cutting out
his brothers, who had not been so magnificent in their hospital-
ities.
After the banquet, all the guests expressed their longings to see
Signer Thomas's play, not doubting but the performance of so ex-
traordinary a genius would deserve all their ears. We came in front
of the stage; the musicians had taken possession of the orchestra,
for the overture and act-tunes. While every one was waiting in
profound silence for the rising of the curtain, the actors appeared on
the boards; and the author, with the piece in his hand, sat down at
the wing, in the prompter's place. Well might he call it a tragedy;
for, in the first act, the King of Morocco, by way of diversion, shot
128 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
an hundred Moorish slaves with arrows ; in the second, he beheaded
thirty Portuguese officers, taken prisoners by one of his captains; in
the third and last, this monarch, surfeited with long-indulged liber-
tinism, set fire with his own hands to the seraglio where his wives
were confined, and reduced it to ashes with its inhabitants. The
Moorish slaves, as well as the Portuguese officers, were puppets on
a very curious construction ; and the palace, built of pasteboard,
looked very naturally in flames by means of an artificial firework.
This conflagration, accompanied by a thousand piercing cries,
issuing from the ruins, concluded the piece, and the curtain dropped
upon this amiable entertainment. The whole plain resounded with
the. applause of this fine tragedy, which spoke for the good taste of
the poet, and proved that he knew where to look out for a subject.
I did not suppose there was anything more to be seen after The
Amusements of Mvley Bugentuf ; but I was mistaken. Kettle-drums
and trumpets announced a new exhibition — the distribution of
prizes — for Thomas de la Fuenta, to give additional solemnity to
his Olympics, had made all his boys, as well as day-scholars and
boarders, write exercises ; and on this occasion he was to give to
those who had succeeded best, books bought at Segovia out of
his own pocket. All at once were brought upon the stage two long
forms out of the school, with a press, full of old, warm-eaten books,
in fine, new bindings. At this signal, all the actors returned upon
the stage, and took their places round Signor Thomas, who looked
as big as the haad of a college. He had a sheet of paper in his
hand, with the names of the successful candidates. This he gave
to the King of Morocco, who began calling over the list witli an
authoritative voice. Each scholar, answering to his name, went
humbly to receive a book from the hands of the bum-jerker ; after
this, he was crowned with laurel, and seated on one of the two
benches, to be exposed to the gaze of the admiring company. Yet,
desirous as the schoolmaster might be to send the spectators away
in good burner, he brought his eggs to a bad market ; for, having
distributed almost all the prizes to the boarders, accor.ling to the
usual etiquette of pedagogues, that those who pay most must neces-
sarily be the cleverest fellows, the mammas of certain day-scholars
caught fire at this instance of partiality, and fell foul of the discip-
linarian thereupon : so that the festival, hitherto so much to the
glory of the donor, seemed likely to have ended to the same tune as
. the carousal of the Lapithse.
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 129
BOOK III.
CHAPTER I.
THE ARRIVAL OF GIL BLAS AT MADRID. HIS FIRST PLACE THERE.
I MADE some stay with the young barber. At my departure, I
met with a traveller of Segovia, passing through Ohn6do. He
was returning with four mules from a trading expedition to Vallado-
lid, and took me by way of back carriage. We got acquainted on the
road, and he took such a fancy to me, that nothing would serve him
but I must be his guest at Segovia. He gave me free quarters for two
days, and when he found me determined to leave him for Madrid
under convoy of a muleteer, he gave me a letter, begging me to de-
liver it in person according to the superscription, not hinting that
it was a letter of recommendation. I was punctual in calling on
Signer Matheo Melendez. He was a woollen-draper, living at the gat«
of the Sun, at the corner of Trunkmaker street. No sooner had he
broken the cover and read the contents, than he said, with an air of
complacency, " Signer Gil Bias, my correspondent, Pedro Palacio,
has written me so pressingly in your favor, that I cannot do other-
wise than offer you a bed at my house ; moreover, he desires me to
find you a good master, and I undertake the commission with plea-
sure. I have no doubt of suiting you to a hair."
I embraced the offer of Melendez the more gratefully because my
funds were getting much below par ; but I was not long a burden
on his hospitality. At the week's end he told me that he had men-
tioned my name to a gentleman of his acquaintance, who wanted a
valet-de-chambre, and, according to present appearances, the place
would not be long vacant. In fact, this gentleman happened to
make his appearance in the very nick. "Sir," said Melendez, push-
ing me forward, "you see before you the young man as by former
advice. He is a pupil of honor and integrity. I can answer for
him as if he was one of my own family." The gentleman looked at
me with attention, said that my face was in my favor, and hired me
at once. " He has nothing to do but to follow me," added he ; "I
will put him into the routine of his employment." At these words
he wished the tradesman good-morning, and took me into the
High street, directly over against St. Philip's Church. We went
into a very handsome house, of which he occupied one wing ; then,
going up five or six steps, he took me into a room secured by stroug
130 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
double doors, with an iron grate between. From this room we went
into another, with a bed and other furniture, rather neat than
gaudy.
If my new master had examined me closely, I had all my wits
about me as well as he. He was a man on the wrong side of fifty,
with a saturnine and serious air. His temper seemed to be even,
aud I thought no harm of him. He asked me several questions
about my family, and, liking my answers, " Gil Bias," said he, " I
take you to be a very sensible lad, and am well pleased to have you
in my service. On your part, you shall have no reason to complain.
1 will give you six rials a day board wages, besides vails. Then I
require no great attendance, for I keep no table, but always dine
out. You will only have to brush my clothes, and be your own
master for the rest of the day. Only take care to be at home early
in the evening, and to be in waiting at the door — that is your chief
duty." After this lecture, he took six rials out of his purse, and
gave them to me as an earnest. We then went out ; he locked the
doors after him, and, taking care of the keys, " My friend," said he,
" you need not go with me : follow the devices of your own heart ;
but on my return this evening, let me find you on that staircase."
With this injunction, he left me to dispose of myself as seemed best
in my own eyes.
"In good sooth, Gil Bias," said I in a soliloquy, "you have got
a jewel of a master. What ! iall in with an employer to give you
six rials a day for wiping off" the dust from his clothes, and putting
his room to rights in the morning, with the liberty of walking
about and taking your pleasure like a schoolboy in the holidays !
By my troth ! it is a place of ten thousand. No wonder I was in a
hurry to get to Madrid ; it was doubtless some mysterious boding of
good fortune prepared for me." I spent the day in the streets,
diverting myself with gaping at novelties — a busy occupation. In
the evening, after supping at an ordinary not far from our house, I
squatted myself down in the corner pointed out by my master. He
came three quarters of an hour after me, and seemed pleased with
my punctuality. "Very well," said he; "this is right: I like
attentive servants." At these words he opened the doors of his apart-
ment, and closed them upon us again as soon as we got in. As we
had no candle, he took his tinder-box and struck a light. I then
helped him to undress. When he was in bed, I lighted, by his
order, a lamp in his chimney, and carried the wax-light into the
ante-chamber, where I lay in a press-bed without curtains. He got
up the next day between nine and ten o'clock. I brushed his
clothes. He paid me my six rials, and sent me packing till the
evening. My mysterious master went out himself, too, not without
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 131
great caution in fastening the doors, and we parted for the remain-
der of the day.
Such was the course of life, very agreeable to me. The best
of the joke was, that I did not know my master's name. Melendez
did not know it himself. The gentleman came to his shop now and
then, and bought a piece of cloth. My neighbors were as much at
a loss as myself ; they all assured me that my master was a perfect
stranger, though he had lived two years in the ward. He visited no
soul in the neighborhood, and some of them, a little given to scan-
dal, concluded him to be no better than he should be. Suspicions
got to be more rife ; he was suspected of being a spy of Portugal,
and it was thought but fair play to give a hint for my own good.
This intimation troubled me. Thought I to myself, should this
turn out to be a fact, 1 stand a chance for seeing the inside of a
prison at Madrid. My innocence will be no security ; my past ill-
usage makes me look on justice with antipathy. Twice have I ex-
perienced that if the innocent are not condemned in a lump with
the guilty, at least the rights of hospitality are too little regarded in
their persons to make it pleasant to pass a summer in the purlieus
of the law.
1 consulted Melendez in so delicate a conjecture. He was at a
loss how to advise me. Though he could not bring himself to be-
lieve that my master was a spy, he had no reason to be confident on
the other side of the question, 1 determined to watch my employer,
and to leave him if he turned out to be an enemy of the state; but
then prudence and personal comfort required me to be certain of my
fact. 1 began, therefore, to pry into his actions ; and, to sound him,
" Sir," said 1 one evening while he was undressing, " I do not know
how one ought to live so as to be secure from reflections. The world
is very scurrilous I We, among others, have neighbors not worth a
curse. Sad dogs ! You have no notion how they talk of us." " Do
they indeed, Gil Bias ?" quoth he. " Be it so 1 but what can they
say of us, my friend ?" "Ah 1 truly," replied I, " evil tongues never
want a whet. Virtue herself furnishes weapons for her own mar-
tyrdom. Our neighbors say that we are dangerous people, that we
ought to be looked after by government ; in a word, you are taken
for a spy of Portugal." In throwing out this hint, I looked hard at
my master, just as Alexander squinted at his physician, and pursed
up all my penetration to remark upon the effect of my intelligence.
There seemed to be a hitch in the muscles of my mysterious lord,
altogether in unison with the suspicions of the neighborhood, and he
fell into a brown study, which bore no very auspicious interpretation.
However, he put a better face on the matter, and said, with sufiicient
composure: ''Gil Bias, leave our neighbors to discourse as thej
132 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
please, but let not our repose depend on their judgments. Never
mind what they think of us, provided our own consciences do not
wince."
Hereupon he went to bed, and 1 did the like, without knowing
what course to take. The next day, just as we were on the point of
going out in the morning, we heard a violent knocking at the outer
door on the staircase. My master opened the inner, and looked
through the grate. A well-dressed man said to him : " Please your
honor, 1 am an alguazil, come to inform you that Mr. Corregidor
wishes to speak a word with you." " What does he want?" answered
my pattern of secresy. "That is more than I know, sir," replied
the alguazil ; "but you have only to go and wait on him ; you will
soon be informed." "I am his most obedient,'' quoth my master;
" 1 have no business with him." At the tale of this speech, he
banged the inner door ; then, after w-alking up and down a little
while, like one who pondered on the discourse of the alguazil, he
put my six rials into my hand, and said : " Gil Bias, you may go
out, my friend ; for my part, I shall stay at home a little longer, but
have no occasion for you." He made an impression on my mind, by
these words, that he was afraid of being taken up, and was, there-
fore, obliged to remain in his apartments. I left him there ; and,
to see how far my suspicions were founded, hid myself in a place
whence I could see if he went out. I should have had patience to
have staid there all the morning, if he had not saved me the trouble.
But an hour after, I saw him walk the street with an ease and con-
fidence which dumbfounded my sagacity. Yet far from yielding to
these appearances, I mistrusted them ; for my verdict went to con-
demnation. I considered his easy carriage as put on, and his staying
at home as a finesse to secure his gold and jewels, when probably he
was going to consult his safety by speedy flight. I had no idea of
seeing him again, and doubted whether I should attend at his door
in the evening ; so persuaded was I, that the day would see him on
the outside of the city, as his only refuge from impending danger.
Yet I kept my appointment; when, to my extreme surprise, my
master returned as usual. He went to bed without betraying the
least uneasiness, and got up the next morning with the same com-
posure.
Just as he had finished dressing, another knock at the door ! My
master looked through the grate. His friend the alguazil was there
again, and he asked him what he wanted. "Open the door," an-
swered the alguazil ; " here is Mr. Corregidor." At this dreadful
name, my blood froze in my veins. I had a devilish loathing of
those gentry since I had passed through their hands, and could have
wished myself at that moment an hundred leagues from Madrid.
I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 133
As for my employer, less startled than myself, he opened the door,
and received the magistrate respectfully. " You see," said the cor-
regidor, " that I do not break in upon you with a whole posse : my
maxim is to do business in a quiet way. In spite of the ugly reports
circulated about you in the city, I think you deserve some little
attention. What is your name, and business at Madrid ?" " Sir,"
answered my master, " I am from New Castile, and my title is Don
Bernard de Castil Blazo. With respect to my way of life, I lounge
about, frequent public places, and take my daily pleasure in a select
circle of polite company." " Of course you have a handsome for-
tune 1" replied the judge. " No, sir," interrupted my Mecenas; "I
have neither annuities, nor lands, nor houses." " How do you live,
then ?" rejoined the corregidor. " I will show you," replied Don
Bernard. At the same time he lifted up a part of the hangings,
before a door 1 had not observed, opened that and one beyond, then
took the magistrate into a closet containing a large chest chuck-full
of gold.
" Sir," said he, again, " you know that the Spaniards are prover-
bially indolent ; yet, whatever may be their general dislike to labor,
I may compliment myself on bettering the example. I have a stock
of laziness, which disqualifies me for all exertion. If I had a mind
to puff my vices into virtues, I might call this sloth of mine a philo-
sophical indifference, the work of a mind weaned from all that
worldlings court with so much ardor ; but I will frankly own myself
constitutionally lazy, and so lazy, that, rather than work for my
subsistence, I would lay myself down and starve. Therefore, to lead
a life befitting my fancy, not to have the trouble of looking after my
affairs, and, above all, to do without a steward, I have converted all
my patrimony, consisting of several considerable estates, into ready
money. In this chest there are fifty thousand ducats ; more than
enough for the remainder of my days, should I live to be an hun-
dred I For I do not spend a thousand a year, and am already more
than fifty years old. I have no fears, therefore, for futurity, since I
am not addicted, Heaven be praised 1 to any one of the three things
which usually ruin men. I care little for the pleasures of the table;
I only play for my amusement ; and I have given up women. There
is no chance of my being reckoned in my old age among those libi-
dinous gray birds to whom jilts sell their favors by troy weight."
" You are a happy man !" said the corregidor. " They are in the
wrong to suspect you of being a spy ; that office is quite out of char-
acter for a man like you. Take your own course, Don Bernard ;
continue to live as you like. Far from disturbing your peace, I de-
clare myself your protector; I request your friendship, and pledge
my own." "Ah! sir," exclaimed my master, thrilled with these
134 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
kind expressions, " I accept, witli equal joy and gratitude, your pre-
cious offer. In giving me your friendship, you augment my wealth,
and carry my happiness to its height." After this conversation,
which the alguazil and myself heard from the closet-door, the cor-
regidor took his leave of Don Bernard, who could not do enough to
express his sense of the obligation. On my part, mimicking my
master in doing the honors of the house, I overburdened the algu-
azil with civilities. I made him a thousand low bows, though I
felt for him in my sleeve the contempt and hatred which every
honest man naturally entertains for an alguazil.
CHAPTEE II.
THE ASTONISHMENT OF GIL BLAS AT MEETING CAPTAIN BOLANDO IN
MADRID, AND THAT ROBBEE'S CUBIOTTS NABEATIVE.
DON Bernard de Castil Blazo, having attended the
corregidor to the street, returned in a hurry to fasten his
strong box, and all the doors which secured it. We then went out,
both of us well satisfied ; he at having acquired a friend in power,
and myself at finding my six rials a day secured to me. The desire
of relating this adventure to Melendez made me bend my steps
towards his house ; but, near my journey's end, whom should I meet
but Captain Rolando 1 My surprise was extreme, and I could not
help quaking at the sight of him. He recollected me at once,
accosted me gravely, and, still keeping up his tone of superiority,
ordered me to follow him. I tremblingly obeyed, saying inwardly,
"Alas ! he means, doubtless, to make me pay my debts ! Whither
will he lead roe? There may perhaps be some subterraneous retreat
in this city. Rague take it I If I thought so, I would soon show
him that I have not got the gout." I walked therefore behind
him, carefully looking out where he might stop, with the pious de-
sign of putting my best leg foremost, if there was anything in the
shape of a trap-door.
Rolando soon dispersed my alarms. He went into a well-fre-
quented tavern ; I followed him. He called for the best wine, and
ordered dinner. While it was getting ready, we went into a private
room, where the captain addressed me as follows: "You may well
be astonished, Gil Bias, to renew your acquaintance with your old
commander; and you will be still more so when you have heard my
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 185
tale. The day I left you in the cave, and went with my troop to
Mansilla, for the purpose of selling the mules and horses we had
taken the evening before, we met the son of the corregidor of Leon,
attended by four men on horseback, well armed, following his car-
riage. Two of his people we made to bite the dust, and the other
two ran away. On this, the coachman, alarmed for his master, cried
out to us in a tone of supplication, * Alas ! rny dear gentlemen, in
God's name, do not kill the only son of his worship, the corregidor
of Leon.' These words were far from softening my comrades ; on
the contrary, their fury knew no bounds. ' Good folks,' said one of
them, * let not the son of a mortal enemy to men like us escape our
vengeance. How many ornaments of our profession has his father
cut off in their prime! Let us repay his cruelty with interest, and
sacrifice this victim to their offended ghosts.' The whole troop ap-
plauded the fineness of this feeling, and my lieutenant himself was
preparing to act as high priest at this unhallowed altar, when I in-
terdicted the rites. ' Stop !' said I ; * why shed blood without occa-
sion ? Let us rest contented with the youth's purse. As he makes
no resistance, it would be against the laws of war to cut his throat.
Besides, he is not answerable for his father's misdeeds; nay, his
father only does his duty in condemning us to death, as we do ours
in rifling travellers.'
" Thus did I plead for the corregidor's son, and my intercession
was not unavailing. We only took every farthing of his money,
and carried off with us the horses of the two men whom we had
slain. These we sold with the rest at Mansilla. Thence we re-
turned to the cavern, where we arrived the following morning, a
little before daybreak. We were not a little surprised to find the
trap open, and still more so, when we found Leonarda handcuffed in
the kitchen. She unravelled the mystery in two words. We won-
dered how you could have overreached us; no one could have
thought you capable of serving us such a trick, and we forgave the
efiect for the merit of the invention. As soon as we had released
our kitchen wench, I gave orders for a good luncheon. In the
meantime we went to look after our horses in the stable, where the
old negro, who had been left to himself for four and twenty hours,
was at the last gasp. We did all we could for his relief, but he
was too far gone; indeed, so much reduced, that, in spite of our
endeavors, we left the poor devil on the threshold of another
world. It was very sad; but it did not spoil our appetites; and,
after an abundant breakfast, we retired to our chambers, and
slept away the whole day. On our awaking, Leonarda apprised
us that Domingo had paid the debt of nature. We carried him to
the charnel-house, where you may recollect to have lodged, and
136 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
there performed his obsequies, just as if he had been one of our
own order.
" Five or six days afterwards, it fell out that, one morning on a
sally, we encountered three companies of the holy brotherhood, on
the outskirts of the wood. They seemed waiting to attack us. We
perceived but one troop at first. These we despised, though supe-
rior in number to our party, and rushed forward to the onset.
But, while we were at loggerheads with the first, the two others in
ambuscade came thundering down upon us; so that our valor was
of no use. There was no withstanding such a host of enemies. Our
lieutenant and two of our gang gave up the ghost on this occasion.
As for the two others and myself, we were so closely pressed and
hemmed in, as to be taken prisoners; and, while two detachments
convoyed us to Leon, the third went to destroy our retreat. How it
was discovered, I will briefly tell you. A peasant of Luceuo, cross-
ing the forest, on his way home, by chance espied the trap-door of
our subterraneous residence, which a certain young runaway had
not shut down after him, for it was precisely the day when you took
yourself off with the lady. He had a violent suspicion of its being
our abode, without having the courage to go in. It was enough to
mark the adjacent parts, by lightly peeling, with his knife, bark
from the nearest trees, and so on from distance to distance, till he
was quite out of the wood. He then betook himself to Leon, with
this grand discovery for the corregidor, who was so much the better
pleased, as his son had been robbed by our gang. This magistrate
collected together three companies, to lay hold of us, and the peas-
ant showed them the way.
" My arrival in the town of Leon was as good as that of a wild
beast to the inhabitants. Even though I had been a Portuguese
general, made prisoner of war, the people could not have been more
anxious to see me. 'There he goes I' was the cry: ' that is he, the
famous captain, the terror of these partsj It would serve him right
to tear him, piecemeal, with pincers, and make his comrades join in
the chorus. To the corregidor I' was the universal cry; and his
worship began insulting me. ' So, so I' said he, ' scoundrel as you
are, the powers of justice, worn to a thread with your past irregular-
ities, hand over the task of punishment to me, as their delegate.'
' Sir,' answered I, ' great as my crimes may have been, at least, the
death of your only son is not to be laid at my door. His life was
saved by me ; you owe me some acknowledgment on that score.'
*0h! wretch,' exclaimed he, 'there are no measures to be kept with
people of your description. And, though it were my wish to save
you, my sacred oflice would not allow me to indulge my feelings.'
Having spoken to this eflect, he committed ua to a dungeon, where
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 187
my companions had no time to lament their hard fate. They got
out of confinement, at the end of three days, to expatiate, with tragic
energy, at the place of execution. For my part, I took up my
quarters in limbo, for three complete weeks. My punishment, seem-
ingly, was deferred, only to render it more terrible; and I was look-
ing out for some refinement on the ordinary course of criminal jus-
tice, when the corregidor, having summoned me before him, said,
'Give ear to your sentence. You are free. Hadit not been for you, my
only son would have been assassinated on the highway. As a
father, my gratitude was due for this service ; but not being compe-
tent to acquit you in my capacity of a magistrate, I have written up
to court in your favor; have solicited your pardon, and have
obtained it. Go, then, whithersoever it may seem good to you. But
take my advice ; profit by this lucky escape. Look to your paths,
and give up the trade of a highwayman for good and all.'
"I was deeply impressed by this advice, and took my departure
for Madrid, in the firm determination of mending my ways, and
living quietly in that city. There I found my father and mother
dead, and what they left behind them in the hands of an old kins-
man, who administered duly and truly, as all trustees of course do.
I saved three thousand ducats out of the fire — scarcely a quarter of
what I was entitled to. But where was the remedy ? There was no
standing to the quirks and evasions of the law. Just to be doing
something, I have purchased an alguazil's place. My colleagues
would have set their faces against my admission, for the honor of
the cloth, had they known my history. Luckily they did not, or at
least affected not to know it, which was just as good as the reality ;
for, in that illustrious body, it is the bounden duty and interest of
every member to wear a mask. The pot cannot call the kettle hard
names, thank heaven. The devil would have no great catch in the
best of us. And yet, my friend, I could willingly unbosom myself
to you without disguise. My present occupation is much against
the grain ; it requires too circumspect and too mysterious a conduct;
there is nothing to be done but by underhand dealings, gravity, and
cunning. O 1 for my first trade I The new one is safer, to be sure ;
but there is more fun in the other, and liberty is my motto. I feel
disposed to get rid of my oflSce, and to set out, some sunshiny morn-
ing, for the mountains at the source of the Tagus. I know of a
retreat thereabouts, inhabited by a numereus gang, composed chiefly
of Catalonians; when I have said that, I need say no more. If you
will go along with me, we will swell the number of those heroes. I
shall be second in command. To make your footing respectable at
once, I will swear that you have fought ten times by my side. Your
valor shall mount to the very skies. I will tell more good of you
138 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
than a commander-in-chief of a fovorite officer. I will not say a
word about the runaway trick ; that would render you suspected of
turning — nose therefore, mum is the word. What say you to it?
Are you ready to set off? I am impatient to know your mind."
" Every one to his own fancy," said I, then, to Rolando ; " you were
born for bold exploits, and your friend for a serene and quiet life."
" I understand you," interrupted he ; " the lady whom love induced
you to carry off, still preserves her influence over your heart, and
you doubtless lead with her that serene life of which you are enam-
ored. Own the truth. Master Gil Bias ; she is become a thing of
your own, and you are both living on the pistoles carried off from
the subterraneous retreat." I told him he was mistaken ; and, to
set him right, related the lady's adventures and my own, while we
sat at dinner. When our meal was finished, he led back to the sub-
ject of the Catalonians, and attempted once more to engage me in
his project. But finding me inflexible, he looked at me with a ter-
rific frown, and said seriously, "Since you are dastard enough to
prefer your servile condition to the honor of enlisting in a troop of
brave fellows, I turn you adrift to your own grovelling inclinations.
But mark me well ; a lapse maybe fatal. Forget our meeting of to-
day, and never prate about me to any living soul ; for if I catch you
bandying about my name in your idle talk .... you know my
ways, I need say no more." With these words, he called for the
landlord, paid the reckoning, and we rose from the table to go away.
CHAPTER III.
GIL BLAS IS DISMISSED BY DON BERNARD DE CASTIL BLAZO, AND
ENTERS INTO THE SERVICE OF A BEAU.
JUST as we were coming out of the tavern, and taking our leave,
my master was passing along the street. He saw me, and I
observed him look more than once at the captain. I had no doubt
but he was surprised at meeting me in such company. It is certain
that Rolando's physiognomy and air were not much in favor of
moral qualities. He was a gigantic fellow, with a long face, a
parrot's beak, and a very rascally contour, without being absolutely
ugly.
I was not mistaken in my guess. In the evening, I found Don
Bernard harping on the captain's figure, and charmingly disposed to
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 139
believe all the fine things I could have said of him, if my tongue
had not been tied. " Gil Bias," said he, '" who is that great shark I
saw with you awhile ago?" I told him it was an alguazil, and
thought to have got off with that answer ; but he returned to the
charge ; and observing my confusion, from the remembrance of the
threats used by Rolando, broke off the conversation abruptly and
went to bed. The next morning, when I had performed my ordi-
nary duties, he counted me over six ducats instead of six rials, and
said, " Here, my friend, that is what I give you for your services up
to this day. Go and look out for another place. A servant keeping
such high company is too much for me." I bethought myself of
saying, in my own defence, that I had known that alguazil, by hav-
ing prescribed for him at Valladolid, while I was practicing medi-
cine. " Very good," replied my master ; " the shift is ingenious
enough ; you might have thought of it last night, and not have
looked so foolish." "Sir," rejoined I, "in good truth, prudence
kept me silent, and gave to my reserve the aspect of guilt." " Un-
doubtedly," resumed he, tapping me softly on the shoulder, " it was
carrying prudence very far, even to the confines of cunning. Go,
lad ; I have no further occasion for your services."
I went immediately to acquaint Melendez with the bad news, who
told me, for my comfort, that he would engage to procure me a bet-
ter berth. Indeed, some days after, he said, " Gil Bias, my friend,
you have no notion of the good luck in store for you. You will
have the most agreeable post in the world. I am going to settle
you with Don Matthias de Silva. He is a man of the first fashion —
one of those young noblemen commonly distinguished by the ap-
pellation of beaus. I have the honor of his custom. He takes up
goods of me, on tick, indeed ; but these great men are good pay in
the long run : they often marry rich heiresses, and then old scores
are wiped off; or, should that fail, a tradesman who understands his
business, puts such a price upon his articles, that if three fourths of
his debts are bad, he is no loser. Don Matthias's steward is my
intimate friend. Let us go and look for him. It will be for him
to present you to his master ; and you may rely upon it, that, for
my sake, he will treat you with high consideration."
As we were on our way to Don Matthias's house, this honest
shopkeeper said, " It is fit, methinks, that you should be let into
the steward's character. His name is Gregorio Rodriguez. Between
ourselves, he is a man of low birth, with a talent for intrigue, in
which vocation he has labored, till a stewardship in two distressed
families completed their ruin and made his fortune. I give you
notice, that his vanity is excessive; he loves to see the under-ser-
vants creeping and crawling at his feet. It is with him they must
no ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
make interest, if they have any favor to beg of their master; fof,
should they happen to obtain it without his interference, he has
always some shift or other at hand to get the boon revoked, or, at
least, render it of no avail. Regulate your conduct on this hint,
Gil Bias ; pay court to Signor Rodriguez in preference to your mas-
ter himself, and leave no stone unturned to get into his good graces.
His friendship will be of material service to you. He will pay
your wages to the day ; and, if you have management enough to
worm yourself into his confidence, you may chance to pick up some
of the fragments which fall from his table There are enough for a
hungrier dog than you ! Don Matthias is a young nobleman, with
no thought to throw away but on his pleasures, nor the slightest
suspicion how his own affairs are going on. What a house for a
steward who knows how to be a steward I"
When we got to our journey's end, we asked to speak with Signor
Rodriguez. We were told that we should find him in his own
apartment. There he was, sure enough, and with him a clownish
sort of fellow, holding a blue bag, full of money. The steward,
looking more wan and yellow than a girl in a hurry for a husband,
ran up to Melendez with open arms ; the draper was not behind-
hand with him, and they each hugged the other, with a show of
friendship, at least, as much indebted to art as to nature for its
plausible effect. After this, the next question was about me.
Rodriguez examined me from top to toe, saying very civilly, at the
same time, that I was just such an one as Don Matthias wanted,
and that he would with pleasure take upon himself to present me to
that nobleman. Thereupon Melendez gave him to understand how
deeply he was interested in my behalf. He begged the steward to
take me under his protection ; and, leiaving me with him, after
plenty of compliments, withdrew, As soon as he was gone out,
Rodriguez said, " I will introduce you to my master the moment I
have despatched this honest husbandman." He called the country-
man to him forthwith, and, taking his bag, " Talego," said he, " let
us see if the five hundred pistoles are all right." He counted over
the money himself. As the sum was found to be exact, the country-
man took a receipt, and went away. The cash was put back again
into the bag. It was my turn next to be attended to. " We may
now," said my new patron, " go to my master's levee. He usually
gets up about noon ; it is now near one o'clock, and must be day-
light in his apartment."
Don Matthias had, indeed, just risen. He was still in his morn-
ing-gown, kicking his heels in a great chair, with a leg tossed over
one of the elbows, swinging backward and forward, and manufac-
turing his own snuff. His conversation was addressed to a footman
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 141
in waiting, who officiated as a temporary valet de cliambre. "My
lord," said the steward, " here is a young man whom I take the
liberty of presenting to your lordship, in the place of him you dis-
charged the day before yesterday. Your draper, Melendez, has
given him a character ; he undertakes for his qualifications, and I
believe you will be very well pleased with him." "That is enough,"
answered the young nobleman, " since he has your recommendation.
I adopt him blindfold into my own retinue. He is my valet de
chambre at once ; that business is settled. Let. us talk of other
matters, Rodriguez. You are come just in time, I was going to
send for you. I have a budget of bad news, my dear Rodriguez I
played with ill luck last night : an hundred pistoles in my pocket
lost, and two hundred more on credit. You know how indispensable
it is for persons of high rank to pay their debts of honor. As for
any other, it is no matter when they are paid. Punctuality is all
very well between one tradesman and another, but they cannot ex-
pect it from one of us. These two hundred pistoles must be raised
forthwith, and sent to the Countess de Pedrosa." " Sir," quoth the
steward, " that is sooner said than done. Where, prythee, am I
to get such a sum ? Threaten as I will, I never touch a maravedi
from your tenants. And yet your establishment is to be kept up in
style, and I am wearing myself to a thread in furnishing the ways
and means. It is true that hitherto, Heaven be praised 1 we have
rubbed on ; but what witch to conjure for a wind now, I know not ;
the case is desperate." " All this prosing is extremely impertinent,"
interrupted Don Matthias ; " this counting-house talk makes me
hideously nervous. So, then, Rodriguez, you really think to under-
take my reform, and metamorphose me into a plodding manager of
my own estate ? A very elegant sort of pastime for a man in my
station of life — a man of rank and fashion !" " Grant me patience,"
replied the steward ; " at the rate we are driving now, it ia easily cal-
culated how soon you will be released from all those cares;" " You
are a very great bore," resumed the young nobleman, rather peev-
ishly; " this brutal importunity is downright murder to one's feelings.
I hate loud music ; be so good as to let me be ruined pianissimo. I
tell you I want two hundred pistoles, and I must have them."
" Why, then," said Rodriguez, " we must have recourse to the old
rascal who has lent you so much already on usurious terms."
" Have recourse to the devil, if he will do you any good," answered
Don Matthias; "only let me havC two hundred pistoles, and it is
the same thing to me how you manage to get them."
While he was uttering these words in a hasty and fretful tone, the
steward went out, and Don Antonio Centelles, a young man of qua-
lity, came in. " What is the matter, my friend ?" said this last to
142 ADVENTURES OF GIL Bt.AS.
my master; "your atmosphere is overcast; I trace passion in the
lines of your countenance. Who can have ruffled that sweet tem-
per ? I would lay a wager it was that booby just gone out." '' Yes,"
answered Don Matthias, ''he is my steward. Every time he comes
to speak to me I am in agony for a quarter of an hour or twenty
minutes. He rings the changes on the state of my affairs, and tells
me that I am spending principal and interest. ... A beast ! He
will say next that I have ruined him into the bargain I" " My dear
fellow I" replied Don Antonio, " I am exactly in the same situation.
My man of business is just such another scarecrow as ycur steward.
When the sneaking scoundrel, after repeated demands, brings me
some niggardly supply, it is just as if he was lending me his own.
He expostulates most barbarously. ' Sir,' says he, ' you are going
to rack and ruin ; there is an execution out against you.' I am
obliged to cut him short, and beg him to remonstrate in epitome."
" The worst of it is," said Don Matthias, " that there is no doing
without these fellows ; they are the penance attached to our elegant
indiscretions." "Just so," replied Centelles. . . . "But listen,"
pursued he, bursting into a fit of laughter ; "a pleasant idea has just
struck me. Nothing was ever more farcically fancied. We may
introduce a hvffo caricato into our serious opera, and relieve the
knell of our departed goods and chattels with a humorous divertise-
ment. The plot is thus : Let me try to borrow from your steward
whatever you want. You shall do the same with my man of busi-
ness. Then let them both preach as they please : we shall hearken
with the utmost composure. Your steward will come and open his
case to me; my man of business will plead the poverty of the land
to you. I shall hear of nothing but your extravagance, and you
will see your own in mine as in a, glass. It will be vastly enter-
taining."
A thousand brilliant conceits followed this flight of genius, and
'put the young patricians into high spirits, so that they kept up the
ball with vivacity, if not with wit. Their conversation was interrupted
by Gregorio Eodriguez, who brought back with him a little old bald-
headed man. Don Antonio was for moving off. " Farewell, Don Mat-
thias," said he ; " we shall meet again anon. I leave you with these
gentlemen ; you have, doubtless, some state affairs to discuss in coun-
cil." " Oh, no, no," answered my master, " you had better stop ; you
will not interrupt us. This warm old gentleman has the moderation
to lend me money at twenty per Cent." " What, at twenty per cent. !"
exclaimed Centelles, in a tone of astonishment. " In good truth, I
wish you joy on being in such hands. I do not come off so cheaply,
for my part: I pay through the nose for every farthing I get. My
loans are generally raised at double that per cent." "There is
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 143
usury," said the father of the usurious tribes; "unconscionable
dogs ! Where do they expect to go when they die ? I do not wonder
there is so strong a prejudice against money-lenders. It is the ex-
orbitant profit which some of them derive from their discounts,
that brings reproach and ill-will upon us all. If all my brethren of
the blue balls were like me, we should not be treated so scurvily ;
for my part, I only lend, to do my duty towards my neighbor. Ah I
if times were as good now as in my early days, my purse should be
at your service as a friend ; and even now, in the present distress of
the money-market, it goes against the grain to take a poor twenty
per cent. But one would thiilk the money was all gone back to the
mines whence it came : there is no such thing to be had, and the
scarcity compels me to depart a little from the disinterested severity
of my benevolence. How much do you want?" pursued he, address-
ing my master. " Two hundred pistoles," answered Don Matthias.
"I have four hundred here in a bag," replied the usurer; "it is only
to give you half of them." At the same time he drew from under-
neath hia cloak a blue bag, looking just like that in which farmer
Talego had left five hundred pistoles with Eodriguez. I was not
long in forming my judgment of the matter, and saw plainly that
Melendez had not bragged, without reason,, of the steward's aptness
in the ways of the world. The old man emptied the bag, displayed
the cash on a table, and set about counting it. The sight set all my
master's extravagant passions in a flame; the sura total proved very
striking to his comprehension. " Signor Descomulgado," said he to
the usurer, " I have just made a very sensible reflection ; I am a
great fool. I only borrow enough to redeem my credit, without
thinking of my empty pockets. I should be obliged to give you the
trouble of coming again to-morrow. I think, therefore, it will be
best to spare your age and infirmities, and ease you of the four hun-
dred at once." " My lord," answered the old man, " I had destined
half of this money to a good licentiate, who lays out the income of
his large preferments in those pious and charitable uses for which
they were originally given to the clergy, as stewards of the poor,
and guides to the young and unwary. In pursuance of this end, it
is his great delight to wean young girls from the seductions of a
wicked world, and place them in a snug, well-furnished little box of
his own, where they may be obnoxious to his ghostly admonitions
by day and by night. But, since you have occasion for the whole
sum, it is at your disposal. Something by way of security." . . .
" Oh 1 as for security," interrupted Rodriguez, taking a paper out of
his pocket, " you shall have as good as the bank. Here is a note
which Signor Don Matthias has only just to sign. He makes over
five hundred pistoles, due from one of his tenants, Talego, a wealthy
144 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
yeoman of Mondejar." " That is enough," replied the usurer, " I
never split hairs, but deal upon the square," The steward insinu-
ated a pen between his master's fingers, who signed his name at the
bottom of the note, without reading it ; and whistled as he signed,
for want of thought.
That business settled, the old man took his leave of my noble em-
ployer, who shook him cordially by the hand, saying: " Till I have
the pleasure of seeing you again, good mjister pounds, shillings, and
pence, I am your most devoted, humble servant, I do not know
why you should all be lumped together for a«et of blood-suckers;
you seem to me a necessary link in the chain of well-ordered society.
You are as good as a physician to us pecuniary invalids of quality^
and keep us alive by artificial restoratives in the last stage of a con-
sumptive purse." " You are in the right," exclaimed Centelles.
" Usurers are a very gentlemanly order in society, and I must not
be denied the privilege of paying my compliments to this illustrious
Bpecimen, for the sake of his twenty per cent." With this banter,
he came up and threw his arms about the old man's neck: and
these two overgrown children, for their amusement, began sending
him backward and forward between them like a shuttlecock. After
they had tossed him about from pillar to post^ they suffered him to
depart with the steward, who ought to have come in for his share of
the game, and for something a little more serious.
When ^Rodriguez and his stalking-horse had left the room, Don
Matthias sent, by the lackey in waiting, half his pistoles to the
Countess de Pedrosa, and deposited the other half in a long purse
worked with gold and silk, which he usually wore in his pocket.
Very well pleased to find himself in cash, he said to Don Antonio,
with an air of gayety: " What shall we do with ourselves to-day?
Let us call a council," " That is talking like a statesman," answered
Centelles : " I am your man ; let us ponder gravely." While they
were collecting their deliberative wisdom on the course they were to
pursue for the day, two other noblemen came in : Don Alexo Segiar
and Don Ferdinand de Gamboa ; both nearly about my master's
age, that is, from eight and twenty to thirty. These four jolly
blades began with such hearty salutations, as if they had not met
for these ten years. After that, Don Ferdinand, a professed baccha-
nalian, made his proposals to Don Matthias and Don Antonio:
" Gentlemen," said he, " where do you dine to-day ? If you are not
engaged, I will take you to a tavern where you shall quaff celestial
liquor I supped there last night, and did not come away till
between five and six this morning,'' " Would to Heaven," ex-
claimed my master, " I had done the same 1 I should not have lost
my money,"
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. ~ 146
"For my part," said Centelles, "I treated myself yesterday even-
ing with a new amusement, for variety has always its charms for
me. Nothing but a change of pleasure can make the dull round of
human life supportable. One of my friends introduced me, neck
and heels, to one of those gentry yclept tax-gatherers, who do the
government business and their own at the same time. There was no
want of magnificence, good taste, or a well-designed set out table,
but I found, in the family itself, a highly seasoned relish of absurdity.
The farmer of the revenues, though the most meanly extracted of
the whole party, must set up for a great man ; and his wife, though
hideously ugly, was a goddess in her own estimation, and made a
thousand silly speeches, the zest of which was heightened by a Bis-
cayan accent. Add to this, that there were four or five children
with their tutor at table. Judge if it must not have been an amus-
ing family party."
"As for me, gentlemen," said Don Alexo Segiar, *' I supped with
Arsenia the actress. We were six at table ; Arsenia, Florimonde, a
coquette of her acquaintance, the Marquis de Zenette, Don Juan de
Moncade, and your humble servant. We passed the night in drink-
ing and talking bawdy. What a flow of soul I To be sure, Arsenia
and Florimonde are not strong in their upper works ; but then they
have a facility in their vocation which is more than all the wit in
the world. They are the dearest madcaps, gay, romping, and ram-
pant: they are a hundred times better than your modest women of
sense and discretion."
CHAPTER IV.
GIL BLAS GETS INTO COMPANY WITH HIS FELLOWS; THEY SHOW HIM
A EEADY KOAD TO THE REPUTATION OF WIT, AND IMPOSE ON HIM
A SINGULAR OATH.
THOSE noblemen pursued this strain of conversation, till Don
Matthias, about whose person I was fiddling all the while, was
ready to go out. He then told me to follow him ; and this bevy of
fashionables set sail together for the tavern, whither Don Ferdinand
de Gamboa proposed to conduct them. I began my march in the
rear rank with three other valets ; for each of the gentlemen had
his own. I remarked, with astonishment, that these three servants
copied their masters, and assumed the same follies. I introduced
myself as a new comer. They returned my salute in form ; and one
10
146 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
of them, after having taken measure of me very accurately, said :
" Brother, I perceive by your gait that you have never yet lived with
a young nobleman." "Alas ! no," answered I, " neither have I been
long in Madrid." "So it appears," replied he, "you smell strong of
the country. You seem timid and embarrassed ; there is a hitch in
your deportment. But no matter, we will soon wear oflF all stiflFness,
take my word for it." " Perhaps you think better of me than 1
deserve," said I. " No," resumed he, " no ; there is no such cub as
we cannot lick into shape ; assure yourself of that."
This specimen was enough to convince me that I had hearty fel-
lows for my comrades, and that I could not be in better hands to
initiate me into high life below stairs. On our arrival at the tavern,
we found an entertainment ready, which Signor Don Ferdinand had
been so provident as to order in the morning. Our masters sat down
to table, and we arranged ourselves behind their chairs. The con-
versation was spirited and lively. My ears tingled to hear them.
Their humor, their way of thinking, their mode of expression di-
verted me. What fire ! what sallies of imagination 1 They appeared
like a new order of beings. With the dessert, we sat before them a
great choice of the best wines in Spain, and left the room, to go to
dinner in a little parlor, where our cloth was laid.
I was not long in discovering that the combatants in our lists had
more to recommend them than appeared at first sight. They were
not satisfied with aping the manners of their masters, but even
copied their phrases ; and these varlets gave such a fac-simile, that,
bating a little vulgarity, they might have passed themselves off very
well. I admired their free-and-easy carriage; still more was I
charmed with their wit, but despaired of ever coming up to them in
my own person. Don Ferdinand's servant, on the score of his mas-
ter treating ours, did the honors ; and, determined to do the thing
genteelly, he called the landlord, and said to him: "Master tapster,
give us ten bottles of your very best wine ; and as you have a happy
knack of doing, make the gentlemen up stairs believe that they
have drank them." "With all my heart," answered the landlord ;
" but, Master Gaspard, you know that Signor Don Ferdinand owes
me for a good many dinners already. If through your kind inter-
vention I could get some little matter on account." . . . "Ohl"
interrupted the valet, " do not be at all uneasy about your debt : I
will take it upon myself ; put it down to me. It is true, that some
unmannerly creditors have preferred legal measures to a reliance on
our honor ; but we shall take the first opportunity of obtaining a
replevy, and will pay you without looking at your bill. To have my
master on your books is like so many ingots of gold." The land-
lord brought us the wine, in spite ot unmannerly creditors ; and we
A-DVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 147
drank to a speedy replevy. It was as good as a comedy to see us
drinking each other's healths every minute, under our masters' titles.
Don Antonio's servant called Don Ferdinand's plain Gamboa, and
Don Ferdinand's servant called Don Antonio's Centelles : they dub-
bed me Silva ; and we kept pace in drunkenness, under these bor-
rowed names, with the noblemen to whom they properly belonged.
Though my wit was less conspicuous than that of the other guests,
they lost no opportunity of testifying their pleasure in my acquaint-
ance. " Silva," said one of our merriest soakers, " we shall make
something of you, my friend. I perceive that you have wit at will,
if you did but know how to draw upon it. The fear of talking
absurdly prevents you from throwing out at all ; and yet it is only
by a bold push that a thousand people nowadays set themselves up
for good companions. Do you wish to be bright ? You have only
to give the reins to your loquacity, and to venture indiscriminately
on whatever comes uppermost : your blunders will pass for the
eccentricities of genius. Though you should utter a hundred extra-
vagances, let but a single good joke be packed up in the bundle, the
nonsense shall all be forgotten, the witticism bandied about, and
your talent be puffed into high repute. This is the happy method our
masters have devised, and it ought to be adopted by all new candi-
dates." Besides that I had but too strong a wish to pass for a clever
fellow, the trick they taught me appeared so easy in the perform-
ance, that it ought not to be buried in obscurity. I tried it at once,
and the fumes of the wine contributed to my success ; that is to say,
I talked at random, and had the good luck to strike out of much
absurdity some flashes of merriment very acceptable to my audience.
This first essay inspired me with confidence. I redoubled my
sprightliness, to sparkle in repartee ; and chance gave a successful
issue to my endeavors.
" Well done !" said my fellow-servant who had addressed me on
the street; '*do not you begin to shake off" your rustic manners?
You have not been two hours in our company, and you are quite
another creature : your improvement will be visible every day. This
it is to wait on people of quality. It causes an elevation which the
mind can never attain under a plebeian roof." " Doubtless," I
answered, " and for that reason I shall henceforth dedicate my little
talents to the nobility." " That is bravely said," roared out Don
Ferdinand's servant, half seas over ; " commoners are not entitled
to possess such a fund of superior genius as exists in us. Come,
gentlemen, let us make a vow never to colleague with any such beg-
garly fellows ; let us swear to that by Styx." We laughed heartily
at Gaspard's conceit ; the proposal was received with applause, and
we took this mock oath with our glasses in our hands.
148 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Thus sat we at .table till our masters were pleased m get up from
it. This was at midnight — an outrageous instance of sobriety, in the
opinion of my colleagues. To be sure, these noble lords left the
tavern so early only to visit a celebrated wanton, lodging in the
purlieus of the court, and keeping open house night and day for the
votaries of pleasure. She was a woman from five-and-thirty to
forty, still in the height of her charms, entertaining in her dis-
course, and so perfect a mistress in the art of pleasure, that she sold
the waste and refuse of her beauty at a higher price than the first
sample of the unadulterated article. She had always two or three
pieces of damaged goods in the house, who contributed not a little
to the great concourse of nobility resorting thi'ther. The afternoon
was spent in play ; then supper, and the night passed in drink-
ing and making merry. Our masters stayed till morning, and so
did we, without thinking the time long ; for while they were toying
with the mistresses, we attacked the maids. At length we all parted
when daylight peeped in on our festivities, and went tt) bed each of
us at our separate homes.
My master getting up at his usual time, about noon, dressed him-
self. He went out. I followed him, and we paid a visit to Don
Antonio Centelles, with whom we found one Don Alvaro de Acuna.
He was an old gentleman, who gave lectures on the science of de-
bauchery. The rising generation, if they wanted to qualify them-
selves for fine gentlemen, put themselves under his tuition. He
moulded their ductile habits to pleasure, taught them to make a dis-
tinguished figure in the world, and to squander their substance ; he
bad no qualms as to running out his own, for the deed was done.
After these three blades had exchanged the compliments of the
morning, Centelles said to my master, " In good faith, Don Matthias,
you could not have come at a more lucky time. Don Alvaro is come
to take me with him to a dinner, given by a citizen to the Marquis
de Zenette and, Don Juan de Moncade, and you shall be of the
party." "And what is the citizen's name?" said Don Matthias.
" Gregorio de Noriega," said Don Alvaro, " and I will describe the
young man in two words. His father, a rich jeweller, is gone
abroad to attend the foreign markets, and left his son, at his depart-
ure, in the enjoyment of a large income. Gregorio is a blockliead.
with a turn for every sort of extravagance, and an awkward hanker-
ing after the reputation of wit and fashion, in despite of nature. He
has begged of me to give him a few instructions. I manage him
completely, and can assure you, gentlemen, that I lead him a rare
dance. His estate is rather deeply dipped already." "I do not
doubt it," exclaimed Centelles ; " I see the vulgar dog in an alms-
house. Come, Don Matthias, let us honor the fellow with our
AD VENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 149
acquaintance, and be in at the deatli of him." "Willingly,"
answered my master, " for I delight in seeing the fortune of these
plebeian upstarts kicked over when they affect to mix among us.
Nothing, for instance, ever entertained me so much as the downfall
of the toll-gatherer's son, whom play, and the vanity of figuring
among the great, have stripped, till he has not a house over hia
head." " Oh, as for that," replied Don Alvaro, " he deserves nd
pity ; he is as great a coxcomb in his poverty as he was in his pros-
perity."
Centelles and my master accompanied Don Alvaro to Gregorio de
Noriega's party. We went there also, that is Mogicon and myself,
both in ecstasy at having an opportunity of sponging on a citizen,
and pleasing ourselves with the thoughts of being in at the death of
him. At our entrance, we observed several men employed in pre-
paring dinner ; and there issued from the ragouts they were taking
up, a vapor which conciliated the palate through the medium of the
nostrils. The Marquis de Zenette and Don Juan de Moncade were
just come. The founder of the feast seemed a great simpleton. He
aped the man of fashion with a most clumsy grace ; a wretched copy
of admirable originals, or, more properly, an idiot in the chair of
wisdom and taste. Figure to yourself a man of this character in
the centre of five bantering fellows, all intent on making a jest of
him, and drawing him into ridiculous expenses. " Gentlemen,"
said Don Alvaro, after the first interchange of civilities, "give me
leave to introduce you to Signor Gregorio de Noriega, a most bril-
liant star in the hemisphere of fashion. He owns a thousand amiable
qualities. Do you know that he has a highly-cultivated understand-
ing? Choose your own subject, he is equally at home in every
branch, from the subtility and closeness of logic, to the elementary
science of the criss-cross-row." " Oh, this is really too flattering,"
interrupted the scot-and-lot gentleman, with a very uncouth laugh.
" I might, Signor Alvaro, put you to the blush as you have put me;
for you may truly be termed a reservoir, as it were, a common sewer-
of erudition." " I had no intention," replied Don Alvaro, " to draw
upon myself so savory an encomium ; but truly, gentlemen, Signor
Gregorio cannot fail of establishing a name in the world." "As for
me," said Don Antonio, " what is so delightful in my eyes, far above
the honors of logic or the criss-cross-row, is the tasteful selection of
his company. Instead of demeaning himself to the level of trades-
men, he associates only with the young nobility, and sets the expense
at nought. There is an elevation of sentiment in this conduct which
enchants me : and this is what you may truly call disbursing with
taste and judgment."
These ironical speeches were only the preludes to a continuaJ
150 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
strain of banter. Poor Gregorio was attacked on all hands. The
wits shot their bolts by turns, but they made no impression on the
fool ; on the contrary, he took all they said literally, and seemed
highly pleased with his guests, as if they did him a favor by making
him their laughing-stock. In short, he served them for a butt while
they sat at table, which they did not quit during the afternoon, nor
till late at night. We, as well as our masters, drank as we liked, so
that the servants' hall and the dining-room were in equally high
order when we took our leave of the young jeweller.
CHAPTER V
GIL BLAS BECOMES THE DARLING OF THE FAIR SEX, AND MAKES AN
INTERESTING ACQUAINTANCE.
AFTER some hours' sleep, I got up in fine spirits ; and calling
the advice of Melendez to mind, went, till my master was
stirring, to pay my court to our steward, whose vanity was rather
flattered by this attention. He received me with a gracious air, and
inquired how I was reconciled to the habits and manners of the
young nobility. I answered, that they were sti'ange to me as yet,
but that use and good example might work wonders in the end.
Use and good example did work wonders, and that right soon.
My temper and conduct were quite altered. From a discreet, sober
lad, I got to be a lively, heedless merry-andrew. Don Antonio's
servant paid me a compliment on my transformation, and told me
that there wanted nothing but a tender interest in the lovely part of
creation to shine like a new star dropped from the heavens. He
pointed out to me that it was an indispensable requisite in the char-
acter of a pretty fellow, that all our set were well with some fine
woman or other; and that he himself, to his own share, engrossed
the favors of two beauties in high life. I was of opinion that the
rascal lied. " Master Mogicon," said I, " you are doubtless a very
dapper, lively little fellow, with a modest assurance ; but still I do
not comprehend how women of quality, not having your sweet per-
son in their own private establishments, should run the risk of
being detected in an intrigue with a footman out of doors." " Oh,
as for that," answered he, " they do not know my condition. To my
master's wardrobe, and even to his name, I am indebted for these
conquests. I will tell you how it is. I dress myself up as a young
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 151
nobleman, and assume the manners of one. I go to public places
and tip the wink first to one woman and then to another, till I meet
with one who returns the signal. Her I follow, and find means to
speak with her. I take the name of Don Antonio Centelles. I plead
for an assignation, the lady is squeamish about it ; I am pressing,
she is kind, &c. Thus it is, my fine fellow, that I contrive to carry
on my intrigues, and I would have you profit by the hint."
I was too ambitious of shining like a new star dropped from the
heavens to turn a deaf ear to such counsel ; besides, there was about
me no aversion to an amour. I therefore laid a plan to disguise
myself as a young nobleman, and look out for adventures of gal-
lantry. There was a risk in assuming my masquerade dress at
home, lest it might be observed. I took a complete suit from my
master's wardrobe, and made it up into a bundle, which I carried to
a barber's, where I thought I could dress and undress conveniently.
There I tricked myself out to the best advantage. The barber, too,
lent a helping hand to my attire. When we thought it adjusted to
a nicety, I sauntered towards Saint Jerome's meadow, whence I felt
morally certain that I should not return without making an impres-
sion. But I could not even get thither, without a proof of my own
attractions.
As I was crossing a by-street, a lady of genteel figure, elegantly
dressed, came out of a small house, and got into a hired carriage
standing at the door. 1 stopped short to look at her, and bowed
significantly, so as to convey an intimation that my heart was not
insensible. On her part, to show me that her face was not less
lovely than her person, she lifted up her veil for a moment. In the
meantime the coach set off, and I stood stock s.till in the street, not
a little stiffened at this vision. "A vastly pretty woman !" said I
to myself; "bless us ! this is just what is wanting to make me per-
fectly accomplished. If the two ladies who share Mogicon between
them are equally handsome, the scoundrel is in luck ! I should be
delighted with her for a mistress." Euminating on these things, I
looked, by chance, towards the house whence that lovely creature
had glided, and saw, at a window on the ground floor, an old woman
beckoning me to come in.
I flew like lightning into the house, and found, in a very neat par-
lor, this venerable. and wary matron, who, taking me for a marquis
at least, dropped a low courtesy, and said : " I doubt not, my lord,
but you must have a bad opinion of a woman who, without the
slightest acquaintance, beckons you out of the street ; but you will
perhaps judge more favorably of me when you shall know that I do
not pay that compliment promiscuously. You look like a man of
fashion !" " You are perfectly in the right, my old girl," inter-
152 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
rupted I, stretching out my right leg, and throwing the weight of
my body on my left hip ; " mine is, vanity apart, one of the best
families in Spain." " It must be so by your looks," replied she,
"and I will fairly own that I delight in doing a kindness to people
of quality — that is my weak side. I watched you through my win-
dow. You looked very earnestly at a lady who has just left me.
Perhaps you may have taken a fancy to her ? Tell me so plainly."
" By the honor of my house," answered I, " she has shot me through
the heart. I never saw anything so tempting; a most divine crea-
ture; do bring us acquainted, my dear, and rely on my gratitude.
It is worth while to do these little offices for us of the beau monde/
they are better paid than our bills."
" I have told you once for all," replied the old woman, " I am
entirely devoted to people of condition ; it is my passion to be useful
to them : I receive here, for example, a certain class of ladies, whom
appearances prevent from seeing their favorites at home. I lend
them my house, and thus the warmth of their constitutions is in-
dulged without risk to their characters." " Vastly well," quoth I,
"and you have just done that kindness to the lady in question?"
"No," answered she, " this is a young widow of quality, in want of
an admirer; but so difficult in her choice, that I do not know
whether you will do for her, however great your requisites may be.
I have already introduced to her three well-furnished gallants, but
she turned up her nose at them." " Oh ! egad, my life," exclaimed
I confidently, " you have only to stick me in her skirts, I will give
you a good account of her, take my word for it. I long to have a
grapple with a beauty of such peremptory demands ; they have not
yet fallen in my way." "Well, then," said the old woman, "you
have only to come Hither to-morrow at the same hour: your curi-
osity shall be satisfied." " I will not fail," rejoined I ; "we shall
see whether a young nobleman can miss a conquest."
I returned to the little barber's without looking for other adven-
tures, but deeply interested in tlie event of this. Therefore, on the
following day, I went in splendid attire to the old woman's an hour
sooner than the time. " My lord," said she, " you are punctual, and
I take it kindly. To be sure the game is worth the chase. I have
seen our young widow, and we have had a good deal of talk about
you. Not a word was to be said ; but I have taken such a liking to
you that I cannot hold my tongue. You have ma:de yourself agree-
able, and will soon be a happy man. Between ourselves, the lady is
a relishing morsel; her husband did not live long with her;* he
glided away like a shadow : she has all the merit of an absolute
girl." The good old lady no doubt meant one of those clever girls
who coiitrive not to live single, though they live unmarried.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 153
The heroine of the assignation soon came in a hired carriage, as on
the day before, dressed very magnificently. As soon as she came
into the room, I led off with five or six coxcombical bows, accom-
panied by the most fashionable grimaces. After this, I went up to
her with a very familiar air, and said : " My adored angel, you
behold a gentleman of no iliean rank, whom your charms have
undone. Your image, since yesterday, has taken complete posses-
sion of my fancy ; you have turned a duchess neck and heels out of
my heart, who was beginning to establish a footing there." " The
triumph is too glorious for me," answered she, throwing off her veil,
" but still my transports are not without alloy. Young men of
fashion love variety, and their hearts are, they say, bandied about
from one to the other like a piece of base money." " Ah 1 my sov-
ereign mistress," replied I, " let us leave the future to shift for itself,
and think only of the present. You are lovely : I am in .love. If
my passion is not hateful to you, let it take its course at random.
We will embark like true sailors, set the storms and shipwreck of a
long voyage at defiance, and only take the fair weather of the time
present into the account,"
In finishing this speech, I threw myself in raptures at the feet of
my nymph ; and the better to hit off my assumed character, pressed
her with some little peevishness not to delay my bliss. She seemed
a little touched by my remonstances, but thought it too soon to
yield, and, giving me a gentle rebuff: " Hold," said she, " you are
too importunate ; this is like a rake. I fear you are but a loose
young fellow." " For shame, madam !" exclaimed I ; " can you set
your face against what women of the first state and condition en-
courage? A prejudice against what is vulgarly called vice may be
all very well for citizens' wives." " That is decisive," replied she ;
"there is no resisting so forcible a plea, I see plainly that with
men of your order dissimulation is to no purpose ; a woman must
meet you half way. Learn, then, your victory," added she, with an
appearance of disorder, as if her modesty suffered by the avowal ; " you
have inspired me with sentiments such as are new to my heart, and
I only wait to know who you are, that I may take you for my
acknowledged lover. I believe you a young lord and a gentleman,
yet there is no trusting to appearances; and, however prepossessed
T may be in your favor, I would not give away my affections to a
stranger."
I recollected at the moment how Don Antonio's servant had got
out of a similar perplexity, and determining, after his example, to
pass for my master: " Madam," said I, to my dainty widow, "I will
not excuse myself from telling you my name ; it is one that will not
disparage its owner. Have you ever heard of Don Matthias d«
154 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Silva ?" " Yes," replied she ; " indeed I have seen him with a lady
of my acquaintance." Though considerably improved in impudence,
I was a little troubled by this discovery. Yet I rallied my forces in
an instant, and extricated myself with a happy presence of mind.
" Well, then, my fair one," retorted I, " the lady of your acquaint-
ance . . . knows a lord ... of my acquaintance . . . and I am of
his acquaintance; of his own family, since you must know it. His
grandfather married the sister-in-law of my father's uncle. You see
we are very near relations. My name is Don Caesar. I am the only
son of the great Don Ferdinand de Ribera, slain fifteen years ago,
in a battle on the frontiers of Portugal. I could give you all the
particulars of the action ; it was a devilish sharp one . . . but to
fight it over again would be losing the precious moments of mutual
love."
After this discourse I got to be importunate and impassioned, but
without bringing matters at all forward, The favors which my god-
dess winked at my snatching, tended only to make me languish for
those she was more chary of. The tyrant got back to her coach,
which was waiting at the door. Nevertheless, I withdrew, well
enough pleased with my success, though it still fell short of the only
perfect issue. " If," said I to myself, " I have obtained indulgences
but by halves, it is because this lady, forsooth, is a high-born dame,
and thinks it beneath her quality to play the very woman at the
first interview. The pride of pedigree stands in the way of my
advancement just now, but in a few days we shall be better
acquainted." To be sure, it did once come into my head that she
might be one of those cunning gypsies always on the catch. Yet I
liked better to look at things on the right side than on the wrong,
and thus maintained a favorable opinion of my widow. We had
agreed at parting to meet again on the day after the morrow ; and
the hope of arriving at the summit of my wishes gave me a fore-
taste of the pleasures with which I tickled my fancy.
With my brain full of joyous traces, I returned to my barber.
Having changed my dress, I went to attend my master at the tennis-
court. I found him at play, and saw that he won ; for he was not
one of those impenetrable gamesters-who make or mar a fortune
without moving a muscle. In prosperity he was flippant and over-
bearing, but quite peevish on the losing side. He left the tennis-
court in high spirits, and went to the Prince's Theatre. I followed
him to the box-door, then, putting a ducat into my hand, " Here,
Gil Bias," said he, "as I have been a winner to-day, you shall not
be the worse for it ; go, divert yourself with your friends, and come
to me about midnight at Arsenia's, where I am to sup with Don
Alexo Segiar." He then went in, and I stood debating with whom
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 155
I should disburse my ducat, according to the pious will of the
founder. I did not muse long. Clarin, Don Alexo's servant, just
then came in my way. I took him to the next tavern, and we
amused ourselves there till midnight. Thence we repaired to
Arsenia's house, where Clarin had orders to attend. A little footboy
opened the door, and showed us into a room down stairs, where
Arsenia's waiting-woman, and the lady who held the same office
about Florimonde, were laughing ready to split their sides, while
their mistresses were above stairs with our masters.
The addition of two jolly fellows just come from a good supper
could not be unwelcome to abigails, and to the abigails of actresses
too ; but what was my astonishment when in one of these lowly
ladies I discovered my widow — my adorable widow — whom I took
for a countess or a marchioness ! She appeared equally amazed to
see her dear Don Csesar de Ribera metamorphosed into the valet of
a beau. However, we looked at one another without being put out
of countenance ; indeed, such a tingling sensation of laughter came
over us both, as we could not help indulging in. After this Laura-r-
for that was her name — drawing me aside while Clarin was speak-
ing to her fellow-servant, held out her hand to me very kindly, and
said in a low voice, " Accept this pledge, Signor Don Csesar ; mutual
congratulations are more to the purpose than mutual reproaches,
my friend. You topped your part to perfection, and I was not quite
contemptible in mine. What say you ? Confess now, did not you
take me for one of those precious peeresses who are fond of a little
smuggled amusement?" "It is even so," answered I, "but who-
ever you are, my empress, I have not changed my sentiments with
my paraphernalia. Accept my services in good part, and let the
valet de chambre of Don Matthias consummate what Don Caesar has
so happily begun." "Get you gone," replied she; "I like you
ten times better in your natural than in your artificial character.
You are as a man what I am as a woman, and that is the greatest
compliment I can pay you. You are admitted into the number of
my adorers. You have no longer any need of the old woman as a
blind ; you may come and see me whenever you like. We theatrical
ladies are no slaves to form, but live higgledy-piggledy with the
men, I allow that the effects are sometimes visible, but the public
wink hard at our irregularities; the drama's patrons, as you well
know, give the drama's laws, and absolve us from all others."
We went no further, because there were bystanders. The conver-
sation became general, lively, jovial, inclining to loose jokes, not
very carefully wrapped up. We all of us bore a bob. Arsenia's
attendant, above all, my amiable Laura, was very conspicuous, but
her wit was so extremely nimble, that her virtue could never over-
156 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
take it. Our masters and the actresses on the floor above raised
incessant peals of laughter, which reached us in the regions below ;
and probably the entertainment was much alike with the celestials
and the infernals. If all the knowing remarks had been written
down which escaped from the philosophers that night assembled at
Arsenia's, I really think it would have been a manual for the rising
generation. Yet we could not arrest the chaste moon in her pro-
gress; the rising of that blab, the sun, parted us. Clarin followed
the heels of Don Alexo, and I went home with Don Matthias.
CHAPTER VI.
THE PKINCE'S company OF COMEDIANS.
MY master getting up the next day, received a note from Don
Alexo Segiar, desiring his company immediately. We went,
and found there the Marquis de Zenette, and another young noble-
man of prepossessing manners, whom I had never seen. "Don
Matthias," said Segiar to my protector, introducing the stranger,
" give me leave to present Don Pompeyo de Castro, a relation of
mine. He has been at the court of Portugal almost from his child-
hood. He reached Madrid last night, and returns to Lisbon to-mor-
row. He can allow me only one day. I wish to make the most of the'
precious moments, and thought of asking you and the Marquis de
Zenette to make out the time agreeably." Thereupon my master
and Don Alexo's relation embraced heartily, and complimented one
another in the most extravagant manner. I was much pleased with
Don Pompeyo's conversation : it showed both acuteness and solidity.
They dined with Segiar ; and the gentlemen, after the dessert,
amused themselves at play till the theatre opened. Then they went
all together to the Prince's House, to see a new tragedy called "The
Queen of Carthage." At the end of the piece they returned to
supper, and their conversation ran first on the composition, then upon
the actors. " As for the work," cried Don Matthias, " I think very
lightly of it. -Sneas is a more pious blockhead there than in
the yEneid. But it must be owned that the piece was played
divinely. What does Signor Don Pompeyo think of it? He does
not seem to agree with me." "Gentlemen," said the illustrious
stranger, with a smile, "you are so enraptured with your actors, and
still more with your actresses, that I scarcely dare avow my dis-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 157
sent." "That is very prudent," interrupted Don Alejco, with a
sneer ; " your criticisms would be ill received. You should be ten-
der of our actresses before the trumpeters of their fame. We carouse
with them every day ; we warrant them sound in their conceptions ;
we would give vouchers for the justness of their expression, if it
were necessary." "No doubt of it," answered his kinsman ; "you
would do the same kind office by their lives and their manners from
the same motives of companionable feeling."
" Your ladies of the sock and buskin at Lisbon," said the Marquis
de Zenette, "are doubtless far superior?" "They certainly are,"
replied Don Pompeyo. " They are some of them at least perfect in
their cast." "And these," resumed the marquis, "would be war-
ranted by you in their conceptions and expressions ?" " I have no
personal acquaintance with them," rejoined Don Pompeyo. " I am
not of their revels, and can judge of their merits without partiality.
Do you, in good earnest, think your company first-rate?" "No,
really," said the marquis, " I think no such thing, and only plead
the cause of a few individuals. I give up all the rest. Will you
not allow extraordinary powers to the actress who played Dido?
Did she not personate that queen with the dignity, and at the same
time with all the bewitching charms, calculated to realize our idea
of the character? Could you help admiring the skill with which
she seizes on the passions of the spectator, and harmonizes their
tone to the vibrations she purposes to produce? She may be called
perfect in the exquisite art of declaiming." " I agree with you,"
said Don Pompeyo, " that she can touch the string either of terror
or of pity : never did any actress come closer to the heart, and the
performance is altogether fine ; but still she is not without her de-
fects. Two or three things disgusted me in her playing. Would
she denote surprise ? she glances her eyes to and fro in a most ex-
travagant manner, altogether unbecoming her supposed majesty as
a princess. Add to this, that in swelling her voice, which is of
itself sound and mellifluous, she goes out of her natural key, and
assumes a harsh, ranting tone. Besides, it should seem as if she
might be suspected, in more than one passage, of not very clearly
comprehending her author. Yet I would in candor rather suppose
her wanting in diligence than capacity."
"As far as I see," said Don Matthias to the critic, "you will
never write complimentary odes to our actresses!" "Pardon me,"
answered Don Pompeyo. " I can discover high talent through all
their imperfections. I must say that I was enchanted with the
chambermaid in the interlude. What fine natural parts 1 With
what grace she treads the stage 1 Has she anything pointed to de-
liver? she heightens it by an arch smile, with a keen glance and
158 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
sarcastic emphasis, which convey more to the understanding than
the words to the ear. It might be objected that she sometimes gives
too much scope to her animal spirits, and exceeds the limits of
allowable freedom, but that would be hypercritical. There is one
bad habit I should strongly advise her to correct. Sometimes in
the very crisis of the action, and in an affecting passage, she bursts
in all at once upon the interest with some misplaced jest, to curry
favor with the mob of barren spectators. The pit, you will say, is
caught by her artifice ; that may be well for her popularity, but not
for their taste."
" And what do you think of the men ?" interrupted the marquis ;
" you must give them no quarter, since you have handled the women
so roughly." " Not so,"- said Don Pompeyo. " There are some
promising young actors, and I am particularly well pleased with
that corpulent performer who played the part of Dido's prime min-
ister. His recitation is unaffected, and he declaims just as they do
in Portugal." " If you can bear such a fellow as that," said Segiar,
"you must be charmed with the representative of ^neas. Did not
you think him a great, an original performer?" " Very original,
indeed," answered the critic; "his inflections are quite his own,,
they are as shrill as a hautboy. Almost always out of nature, he
rattles the impressive words of the sentence off his tongue, while he
labors and lingers on the expletives; the poor conjunctions are
frightened at their own report as they go off. He entertained me
excessively, and especially when he was expressing in confidence
his distress at abandoning the princess: never was grief more ludic-
rously depicted." " Fair and softly, cousin," replied Don Alexo ;
"you will make us believe at last that good taste is not greatly
cultivated at the court of Portugal. Do you know that the actor
of whom we are speaking is esteemed a phenomenon ? Did you not
observe what thunders of applause he called down? He cannot
therefore be contemptible." "That therefore does not prove the
proposition," replied Don Pompeyo. " But, gentlemen, let us lay
aside, I beseech you, the injudicious suffrages of the pit ; they are
often given to performers very unseasonably. Indeed, their boister-
ous tokens of approbation are more frequently bestowed on paltry
copies than on original merit, as Phedrus teaches us by an ingenious
fable. Allow me to repeat it as follows :— The whole population of
a city was assembled in a large square to see a pantomime played.
Among the perfbrmers there was one whose feats were applauded
every instant. This buffoon, at the end of the entertainment, wished
to close the scene with. a new device. He came alone upon the
stage, stooping down, covering his head with his mantle, and began
counterfeiting the squeak of a pig. He acquitted himself so natu*
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 159
rally as to be suspected of having the animal itself concealed within
the folds of his drapery. He stripped, but there was no pig. The
assembly rang with more furious applause than ever. A peasant,
among the spectators, was disgusted at this misplaced admiration.
' Gentlemen,' exclaimed he, ' you are in the wrong to be so delighted
with this buffoon ; he is not so good a mimic as you take him for.
I can enact the pig better ; if you doubt it, only attend here this
time to-morrow.' The people, prejudiced in the cause of their favor-
ite, collected in greater numbers on the next day, rather to hiss the
countryman than to see what he could do. The rivals appeared on
the stage. The buffoon began, and was more applauded than the
day before. Then the farmer, stooping down in his turn, with his
head wrapped up in his cloak, pulled the ear of a real pig under his
arm, and made it squeal most horribly. Yet this enlightened audi-
ence persisted in giving the preference to their favorite, and hooted
the countryman off the boards, who, producing the pig before he
went, said, 'Gentlemen, you are not hissing me, but the original
pig. So much for your judgment.' "
''Cousin," said Don Alexo, "your fable is rather satirical. Never-
theless, in spite of your pig, we will not bate an inch of our opinion.
But let us change the subject, this is grown threadbare. Then you
set off to-morrow, do what we can to keep you with us longer?"
" I should like," answered his kinsman, " to protract my stay with
you, but it is not in my power. I have told you already that I am
come to the court of Spain on an affair of state. Yesterday, on my
arrival, I had a conference with the prime minister ; I am to see
him to-morrow morning, and shall set out immediately afterwards
on my return to Lisbon." " You are become quite a Portuguese,"
observed Segiar, " and to all appearance, we shall lose you entirely
from Madrid." " I think otherwise," replied Don Pompeyo, " I
have the honor to stand well with the King of Portugal, and have
many motives of attachment to that court ; yet with all the kind-
ness that sovereign has testified towards me, would you believe that
I have been on the point of quitting his dominions forever."
" Indeed I by what strange accident?" said the marquis. " Give us
the history, I beseech you." " Very readily," answered Don Pom-
peyo, " and at the same time my own, for it is closely interwoven
with the recital for which you have called."
160 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
CHAPTER VII.
HISTORY OF DON POMPEYO DK CASTRO.
" ~I~\ON ALEXO knows that from my boyish days, my passion
I J was for a military life. Our own country being at peace,
I went into Portugal ; thence to Africa with the Duke of Braganza,
who gave me a commission. I was a younger brother, with as slen-
der a provision as most in Spain ; so that my only chance was in
attracting the notice of the commander-in-chief by my bravery. I
was so far from deficient in my duty, that the duke promoted me,
step by step, to one of the most honorable posts in the service.
After a long war, of which you all know the issue, I devoted myself
to the court; and the king, on strong testimonials from the general
officers, rewarded me with a considerable pension. Alive to that
sovereign's generosity, I lost no opportunity of proving my gratitude
by my diligence. I was in attendance as often as etiquette would
allow me to offer myself to his notice. By this conduct I gained
insensibly the love of that prince, and received new favors from his
hands.
'' One day, when I distinguished myself in running at the ring,
and in a bull-fight preceding it, all the court extolled my strength
and dexterity. On my return home, with my honors thick upon
me, I found there a note, informing me that a lady, my conquest
over whom ought to flatter me more than all the glory I had gained
that day, wished to have the pleasure of my company : and that I
had only to attend in the evening, at a place marked out in the let-
ter. Tliis was more than all my public triumphs, and I concluded
the writer to be a woman of the first quality. You may guess that
I did not loiter by the way. An old woman in waiting, as my
guide, conducted me by a little garden-gate into a large house, and
left me in an elegant closet, saying, ' Stay here, I will acquaint my
mistress with your arrival.' I observed a great many articles of
value in the closet, which was magnificently illuminated ; but this
splendor only caught my attention as confirming me in my previous
opinion of the lady's high rank. If appearances strengthened that
conjecture, her noble and majestic air on her entrance left no doubt
on my mind. Yet I was a little out in my calculation.
" 'Noble sir,' said she, ' after the step I have taken in your favor,
it were impertinent to disown my partiality. Your brilliant actions
of to-day, in presence of the court, were not the inspirers of my sen-
timents; they only urge forward this avowal. I have seen you
more than once, have inquired into your character, and the result
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 161
has determined me to follow the impulse of my heart. But do not
suppose that you are well with a duchess, I am but the widow
of a captain in the King's Guards ; yet there is something to
throw a radiance round your victory .... the preference you
have gained over one of the first noblemen in the kingdom.
The Duke d'Alnaeyda loves me, and presses his suit with ardor,
yet without success. My vanity only induces me to bear his impor-
tunities.'
" Though I saw plainly, by this address, that I had got in with a
coquette, my presiding star was not a whit out of my good graces
for involving me in this adventure. Donna Hortensia, for that was
the lady's name, was just in the ripeness and luxuriance of youth
and dazzling beauty. Nay, more, she had refused the possession of
her heart to the earnest entreaties of a duke, and offered it unso-
licited to me. What a feather in the cap of a Spanish cavalier 1 I
prostrated myself at Hortensia's feet, to thank her for her favors.
I talked just as a man of gallantry always does talk, and she had
reason to be satisfied with the extravagance of my acknowledgments.
Thus we parted the best friends in the world, on the terras of meet-
ing every evening when the Duke d'Almeyda was prevented from
coming ; and she promised to give me due notice of his absence.
The bargain was exactly fulfilled, and I was turned into the Adonis
of this new Venus.
" But the pleasures of this life are transitory. With all the lady's
precautions to conceal our private treaty of commerce from my rival
he found means of gaining a knowledge, of which it concerned us
greatly to keep him ignorant : a disloyal chamber-maid divulged the
state secret. This nobleman, naturally generous, but proud, self-
sufl5cient, and violent, was exasperated at my presumption. Anger
and jealousy set him beside himself. Taking counsel only with his
rage, he resolved on an infamous revenge. One night when I was
with Hortensia, he waylaid me at the little garden gate, with all his
servants provided with cudgels. As soon as I came out, he ordered
me to be seized, and beat to death by these wretches. ' Lay on,'
said he; ' let the rash intruder give up the ghost under your chas-
tisement; thus shall his insolence be punished.' No sooner had he
finished these words, than his myrmidons assaulted me in a body,
and gave me such a beating, as to stretch me senseless on the
ground : after which they hurried off with their master, to whom this
butchery had been a delicious pastime. I lay the remainder of the
night just as they had left me. At daybreak, some people passed by,
who, finding that life was still in me, had the humanity to carry nie
to a surgeon. Fortunately my wounds were not mortal; and, falling
into skillful hands, I was perfectly cured in two months. At the
11
162 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
end of ^hat period I made my appearance again at court, and re-
sumed my former way of life, except that I steered clear of Hor-
teusia, who on her part made no further attempt to renew the
acquaintance, because the duke on that condition, had pardoned
her infidelity.
" As my adventure was the town talk, and I was known to be no
coward, people were astonished to see me as quiet as if I had re-
ceived no affront ; for I kept my thoughts to myself, and seemed to
have no quarrel with any man living. No one knew what to think
of my counterfeited insensibility. Some imagined that, in spite of
my courage, the rank of the aggressor overawed me, and occasioned
my tacit submission. Others, with more reason, mistrusted my
silence, and considered my inoffensive demeanor as a cover to my re-
venge. The king was of opinion with these last, that I was not a
man to put up with an insult, and that I should not be wanting to
myself at a convenient opportunity. To discover my real intentions,
he sent for me one day into his closet, where he said : * Don Pom-
peyo, I know what accident has befallen you, and am surprised, I
own, at your forbearance. You are certainly acting a part.' * Sire,'
answered I, ' how can I know whom to challenge ? I was attacked
in the night by persons unknown : it is a misfortune of which I must
make the best.' ' No, no,' replied the king, * I am not to be duped
by these evasive answers. The whole story has reached my ears.
The Duke d'Almeyda has touched your honor to the quick. You
are nobly born, and a Castilian : I know what that double character
requires. You cherish hostile designs. Admit me a party to your
purposes ; it must be so. Never fear the consequences of making
me your confidant.'
" * Since your majesty commands it,' resumed I, ' my sentiments
shall be laid open without reserve. Yes, sir, I meditate a severe re-
tribution. Every man, wearing such a name as mine, must account
for its untarnished lustre with his family. You know the unworthy
treatment I have experienced ; and I purpose assassinating the Duke
d'Almeyda, as a mode of revenge corresponding to the injury. I
shall plunge a dagger in his bosom, or shoot him through the head,
and escape, if I can, into Spain. This is my design.'
"'It is violent,' said the king: 'and yet I have little to say
against it, after the provocation which the Duke d'Almeyda has
given you. He is worthy of the punishment you destine for him.
But do not be in a hurry with your project. Leave me to devise a
method of bringing you together again as friends.' ' Oh, sir,' ex-
claimed I, with vexation, 'why did you extort my secret from me?
What expedient can.' . , . ' If mine is not to your satisfaction/ in-
terrupted he, ' you may execute your first intention. I do not mean
ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 163
to abuse your confidence. I shall not implicate your honor; so rest
contented on that head.'
" I was greatly puzzled to guess by what means the king designed
to terminate this affair amicably ; but thus it was. He sent to speak
with the Duke d'Almeyda in private. * Duke/ said he, ' you have
insulted Don Pompeyo de Castro. You are not ignorant that he is a
man of noble birth, a soldier who has served with credit, and stands
high in my favor. You owe him reparation.' ' I am not of a temper
to refuse it,' answered the duke. ' If he complains of my outrageous
behavior, I am ready to justify it by the law of arms.' ' Something
very different must be done,* replied the king : ' a Spanish gentle-
man understands the. point of honor too well to fight on equal terms
with a cowardly assassin. I can use no milder term ; and you can
only atone for the heinousness of your conduct by presenting a cane
in person to your antagonist, and offering to submit yourself to its
discipline.' ' Oh, heavens !' exclaimed the duke : ' what ! sir, would
you have a man of my rank degrade, debase himself before a simple
gentleman, and submit to be caned 1' ' No,' replied the monarch, * I
will oblige Don Pompeyo to promise not to touch you Only offer
him the cane, and ask his pardon : that is all I require from you.'
'And that is too much, sir,' interrupted the Duke d'Almeyda
warmly : ' I had rather remain exposed to all the secret machina-
tion of his resentment.' 'Your life is dear to me,' said the king;
' and I should wish this affair to have no bad consequences. To ter-
minate it with less disgust to yourself, I will be the only witness of
the satisfaction which I order you to offer to the Spaniard.'
" The king was obliged to stretch his influence over the duke to
the utmost, before he could induce him to take so mortifying a step.
However, the peremptory monarch effected his purpose, and then
sent for me. He related the particulars of his conversation with
my enemy, and inquired if I should be content with the stipulated
reparation. I answered 'Yes,' and gave my word that, far from
striking the offender, I would not even accept the cane when he pre-
sented it. With this understanding the duke and myself at a cer-
tain hour attended the king, who took us into his closet. ' Come,'
said he to the duke, ' acknowledge your fault, and deserve to be for-
given by the humility of your contrition.' Then my antagonist
made his apology, and offered me the cane in his hand. * Don Pom-
peyo,' said the monarch unexpectedly, 'take the cane, and let not
my presence prevent you from doing justice to your outraged honor.
I release you from your promise not to strike the duke.' * No, sir,'
answered I, ' it is enough that he has submitted to the indignity of
the offer : an offended Spaniard asks no more' ' Well, then,' re-
plied the king, ' since you are content with this satisfaction, you
184 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
may both of you at once assume the privilege of a gentlemanly
quarrel. Measure your swords, and discuss the question honorably.'
' It is what 1 most ardently desire,' exclaimed the Duke d'Almeyda,
in a menacing tone, ' for that is only competent to make me amends
for the disgraceful step 1 have taken.'
" With these words he went away, full of rage and shame, and
sent to tell me two hours after that he was waiting for me in a re-
tired place. I kept the appointment, and found this nobleman
ready to fight lustily. He was not five-and-forty, deficient neither
in courage nor in skill, so that the match was fair and equal.
' Come on, Don Pompeyo !' said he ; ' let us terminate our difference
here. Our hostility ought to be reciprocally mortal ; yours for my
aggression, and mine for having asked your pardon.' These words
were no sooner out of his mouth, than he drew upon me so suddenly
that I had no time to reply. He pressed very closely upon me at
first, but I had the good fortune to put by all his thrusts. I acted
on the offensive in my turn ; the encounter was evidently with a
man equally skilled in defence or in attack, and there is no knowing
what might have been the issue, if he had not made a false step
in retiring, and fallen backwards. I stood still immediately, and
said to the duke, ' Recover yourself.' ' Why give me any quarter?'
he answered. 'Your forbearance only aggravates my disgrace.' 'I
will not take advantage of an accident,' replied I; 'it would only
tarnish my glory. Once more recover yourself, and let us fight it
out.'
" * Don Pompeyo,' said he, rising, ' after this act of generosity,
honor allows me not to renew the attack upon you. What would
the world say of me were I to wound you mortally ? I should be
branded as a coward for having murdered a man at whose mercy I
had just lain prostrate. I cannot, therefore, again lift my arm
against your life, and I feel my resentful passions subsiding into the
sweet emotions of gratitude. Don Pompeyo, let us mutually lay
aside our hatred. Let us go still further : let us be friends.' ' Ah,'
my lord, exclaimed I, ' so flattering a proposal I joyfully accept. I
proffer you my sincere friendship, and, as an earnest, promise never
more to approach Donna Hortensia, though she herself should in-
vite me.' • It is my duty,' said he, ' to yield that lady to you. Jus-
tice requires me to give her up, since her affections are yours
already.' 'No, no,' interrupted I; 'you love her. Her partiality
in my favor would give you uneasiness ; I sacrifice my own pleasure
to your peace.' 'Ah I too generous Castilian,' replied the duke,
embracing me, ' your sentiments are truly noble. With what re-
morse do they strike me ! Grieved and ashamed, I look back on the
outrage you have sustained. The reparation in the king's chamber
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 165
seems now too trifling. A better recompense awaits you. To
obliterate all remembrance of your shame, take one of my nieces,
whose hand is at my disposal. She is a rich heiress, not fifteen,
with beauty beyond the attractions of mere youth.'
" I made my acknowledgments to the duke in terms such as the
high honor of his alliance might suggest, and married his niece a
few days afterwards. All the court complimented this nobleman on
having made such generous amends to an insulted rival, and my
friends took part in my joy at the happy issue of an adventure
which might have led to the most melancholy consequences. From
this time, gentlemen, I have lived happily at Lisbon. I am the idol
of my wife, and have not sunk the lover in the husband. The Duke
d'Almeyda gives me new proofs of friendship every day, and I may
venture to boast of standing high in the King of Portugal's good
graces. The importance of my errand hither sufficiently assures me
of his confidence."
CHAPTER Vni.
AN ACCIDENT, IN CONSEQUENCE OF WHICH GIL BLAS WAS OBLIGED
TO LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER PLACE.
SUCH was Don Pompeyo's story, which Don Alexo's servant and
myself overheard, though we were prudently sent away before
he began his recital. Instead of withdrawing, we skulked behind
the door, which he had left half open, and from that station we did
not miss a word. After this, the company went on drinking; but
they did not prolong their carousals till the morning, because Don
Pompeyo, who was to speak with the prime minister, wished for a
little rest beforehand. The Marquis de Zenette and my master took
a cordial leave of the stranger, and left him with his kinsman.
We went to bed, for once, before daybreak ; and Don Matthias,
when he awoke, invested me with a new office. "Gil Bias," said
he, " take pen, ink, and paper, and write two or three letters, as I
shall dictate : you shall henceforth be my secretary." " Well and
good I" said I to myself—" a plurality of functions. As footman, I
follow my master's heels ; as valet-de-chambre, I help him to dress ;
and write for him, as his secretary. Heaven be praised, for my
apotheosis I Like the triple Hecate of the Pantheon, I am to enact
three different characters at the same time." " Can you guess my
intention?" continued he. "Thus it is: but take care what you
166 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
are about ; your life may depend on it. As I am continually meet-
ing with fellows who boast of their success among the women, I
mean, by way of getting the upper hand, to fill my pockets with
fictitious love-letters, and read them in company. It will be amusing
enough. Happier than my competitors, who make conquests only
for the pleasure of the boast, I shall take the credit of intrigue, and
spare myself the labor. But vary your writing, so that the manu-
facture may not be detected by the sameness of the hand."
I then sat down, to comply with the command of Don Matthias,
■who first dictated a tender epistle to this tune : " You did not keep
your promise to-night. Ah I Don Matthias, how will you exculpate
yourself? My error was a cruel one I But you punish me de-
servedly for my vanity, in fancying that business and amusement
were all to give way before the pleasure of seeing Donna Clara de
Mendoza !" After this pretty note, he made me write another, aa
if from a lady, who sacrificed a prince to him ; and then a third,
whose fair writer offered, if she could rely on his discretion, to em-
bark with him for the shores of (/ytherean enchantment. It was
not enough to dictate these love-sick strains ; he forced me to sub-
scribe them, with the most high-flying names in Madrid. I could
not forbear hinting at some little hazard in all this, but he begged
me to keep my sage counsels, till they were called for. I was
obliged to hold my tongue, and dispatch his orders out of hand.
That done, he got up and dressed, with my assistance. The letters
were put into his pockets, and out he went. I followed him to din-
ner, with Don Juan de Moncade, who entertained five or six gentle-
men of his acquaintance that day.
There was a grand set-out, and mirth, the best relish, was not
wanting to the banquet. All the guests contributed to enliven the
conversation, some by wit and humor, others by anecdotes, of which
the relators were the heroes. My master would not lose so fine an
opportunity of bringing our joint performances to bear. He read
them audibly, and with so much assurance, that probably the whole
party, with the exception of his secretary, was taken in by the de-
vice. Among the company, before whom this trick was impudently
played off, there was one person, by name Don Lope de Velasco.
This person, a very grave don, instead of making himself merry,
like the rest, with the fictitious triumphs of the reader, asked him
coolly if the conquest of Donna Clara had been achieved with any
great difficulty? "Less than the least," answered Don Matthias;
"the advances were all on her side. She saw me in public, and
took a fancy to my person. A scout was commissioned to follow
me, and thus she got at my name and condition. She wrote to me,
and gave me an appointment, at an hour of the night when the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 167
house was sure to be quiet. I was true as the needle to the pole;
her bed-chamber was the place. . , . But prudence and delicacy
forbid my describing what passed there."
At this instance of tender regard for the lady's character, Signor
de Velasco betrayed some very passionate workings in his counte-
nance. It was easy to see the interest he took in the subject. "All
these letters," said he to my master, looking at him with an eye of
indignation and contempt, " are infamous forgeries ; and, above all,
that which you boast of having received from Donna Clara de Men-
doza. There is not, in all Spain, a more modest young creature
than herself. For these two years, a gentleman, at least your equal
in birth and personal merit, has been trying every method of in-
sinuating himself into her heart. Scarcely have his assiduities ex-
torted the slightest encouragement ; but yet he may flatter himself
that, if anything beyond common civility had been granted at all,
it would have been to him only." " Well, who says to the con-
trary ?" interrupted Don Matthias, in a bantering way. " I agree
with you, that the lady is a very pretty-behaved young lady. On
my part, I am a very pretty-behaved young gentleman. Ergo, you
may rest assured that nothing took place between us but what was
pretty and well-behaved." " Indeed I This is too much," inter-
rupted Don Lope, in his turn ; " let us lay aside this unseasonable
jesting. You are an impostor. Donna Clara never gave you an
appointment by night. Her reputation shall not be blackened by
your ribaldry. But prudence and delicacy forbid my describing
what must pass between you and me." With this retort on his lips,
he looked contemptuously round, and withdrew with a menacing
aspect, which anticipated serious consequences, to my judgment. My
master, whose courage was better than his cause, held tlic threats of
Don Lope in derision. "A blockhead 1" exclaimed he, bursting
into a loud laugh. " Our knights-errant used to tilt for the beauty of
their mistresses; this fellow would engage in the lists for the forlorn '
hope of virtue in his ; he is more ridiculous than his prototypes."
Velasco's retiring, in vain opposed by Moncade, occasioned no
interruption to the merriment. The party, without thinking further
about it, kept the ball up briskly, and did not part till they had
made free with the next day. We went to bed — that is, my master
and myself— about five o'clock in the morning. Sleep sat heavy on
my eyelids, and, as I thought, was taking permanent possession
thereof; but I reckoned without my host, or rather without our por-
ter, who came and waked me in an hour, to say that there was a lad
inquiring for me at the door. " Oh, thou infernal porter !" muttered
I, indistinctly, through the interstices of a long yawn; "do you
consider that I have but now got to bed ? Tell the little rascal that
168 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
I am just asleep ; he must come again, by-and-by." "He insists,"
replied Cerberus, "on speaking with you instantly; his business
cannot wait" As that was the case, I got up, put on nothing but
my breeches and doublet, and went down stairs, swearing and gaping.
" My friend," said I, " be so good as to let me know what urgent
affair procures me the honor of seeing you so early ?" " I have a
letter," answered he, "to deliver personally into the hands of Signor
Don Matthias, to be read by him without loss of time ; it is of the
last consequence to him ; pray, show me into his room." As I
thought the matter looked serious, I took the liberty of disturbing
my master. " Excuse me," said I, " for waking you, but the press-
ing nature." ... " What do you want?" interrupted he, just in
ray style with the porter. "Sir," said the lad, who was at my elbow,
" here is a letter from Don Lope de Velasco." Don Matthias looked
at the cover, broke it, and, after reading the contents, said to the
messenger of Don Lope, " My good fellow, I never get up before
noon, let the party be ever so agreeable; judge whether I can be
expected to be stirring by six in the morning for a small-sword re-
creation. You may tell your master that, if he chooses to kick his
heels at the spot till half-past twelve, we will come and see how he
looks there ; carry him that answer." With this flippant speech, he
plunged down snugly under the bed-clothes, and fell fast asleep
again, as if nothing had happened.
Between eleven and twelve, he got up and dressed himself, with
the utmost composure, and went out, telling me that there was no
occasion for my attendance ; but I was too much on the tenterhooks
about the result to mind his orders. I sneaked after him, to Saint
Jerome's meadow, where I gaw Don Lope de Velasco waiting for
him. I took my station to watch them ; and was an eye-witness to
all the circumstances of their encounter. They saluted, and began
their fierce debate without delay. The engagement lasted long.
They exchanged thrusts alternately, with equal skill and mettle.
The victory, however, was on the side of Don Lope ; he ran my
master through, laid him helpless on the ground, and made his
escape, with apparent satisfaction at the severe reprisal. I ran up
to the unfortunate Don Matthias, and found him in a most desper-
ate situation. The sight melted me. I could not help weeping at
a catastrophe to which I had been an involuntary contributor.
Nevertheless, with all sympathy, I had still my little wits about me.
Home went I, in a hurry, without saying a word. I made up a bun-
dle of my own goods and chattels, inadvertently slipping in some
odd articles belonging to my master ; and when I had deposited
this with the barber, where my dress, as a fine gentleman, was still
lodged, I published the news of the fatal accident. Any gaper
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 169
might have it for the trouble of listening; and, above all, I took
care to make Eodriguez acquainted with it. He would have been
extremely afflicted, but that his own proceedings in this delicate
case required all his attention. He called the servants together,
ordered them to follow him, and we all repaired to Saint Jerome's
meadow. Don Matthias was taken up alive, but he died three hours
after he was brought home. Thus ended the life of Signer Don
Matthias de Silva, only for having taken a fancy to reading supposi-
titious love-letters unseasonably.
CHAPTER IX.
A NEW gERVICE AFTER THE DEATH OF DON MATTHIAS DE SILVA.
SOME days after the .funeral, the establishment was paid up and
discharged. I fixed my headquarters with the little barber, in
a very close connection with whom I began to live. It seemed to
promise more pleasure than with Melendez. As I was in no want
of money, it was time enough to think of another place; besides, I
had got to be rather nice on that head. I would not go into service
any more, but in families above the vulgar. In short, I was deter-
mined to inquire, very strictly, into the character of a new place.
The best would not be too good ; such high pretensions did the late
valet of a young nobleman think himself entitled to assume above
the common herd of servants.
Waiting till fortune should throw a situation in my way, worthy
to be honored by my acceptance, I thought I could not do better
than to devote my leisure to my charming Laura, whom I had not
seen since the pleasant occurrence of our double discovery. I could
not venture on dressing as Don Caesar de Ribera; it would have
been an act of madness to have assumed that style but as a dis-
guise. Besides that, my own suit was not much out of condition ;
all smaller articles had propagated miraculously in the aforesaid
bundle. I made myself up, therefore, with the barber's aid, as a
sort of middle man between Don Caesar and Gil Bias. In this
demi-character, I knocked at Arsenia's door. Laura was alone in
the parlor where we had met last. " Ah I is it you ?" cried she, as
soon as she saw me ; " I thought you were lost. You have had leave
to come and see me for this week ; but it seems you are modest, and
do not presume too much on your license."
170 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
I made my apology on the score of ray master's death, with my
own engagements consequent thereupon ; and I added, in the spirit
of gallantry, that in my greatest perplexities my lovely Laura had
always been foremost in my thoughts. " That being so," said she,
" I have no more reproaches to make, and I will frankly own that I
have thought of you. As soon as I was acquainted with the un-
timely end of Don Matthias, a plan occurred to me, probably not
quite displeasing to you. I heard my mistress say, some time ago,
that she wanted a sort of man of business — a good arithmetician —
to keep an exact account of our outgoings. I fixed my affections on
your lordship ; you seem exactly calculated for such an office." " I
feel myself," answered I, " a steward by inspiration. I have read
all that Aristotle has written on finance ; and as for reducing it to
the modern system of book-keeping. . . . But, my dear . girl,
there is one impediment in the way." " What impediment ?" said
Laura. "I have sworn," replied I, "never again to live with a
commoner ; I have sworn by Styx, or something else as binding. If
Jupiter could not burst the links of such an oath, judge whether a
poor servant ought not to be bound by it." " What do you mean by
a commoner?" rejoined the impetuous abigail; "for what do you
take us actresses ? Do you take us for the ribs of the limbs of the
law ! — for attorneys' wives ? I would have you to know, my friend,
that actresses rank with the first nobility, being, only common to
the uncommon, and, therefore, though common, uncommonly illus-
trious." " On that footing, my uncommon commoner," said I, "the
post you have destined for me is mine ; I shall not lower my dig-
nity by accepting it." "No, to be sure," said she ; "backward and
forward between a puppy of fashion and a she- wolf of the stage ;
why, it is exactly preserving an equilibrium of rank in the creation.
We are sympathetic animals, just on a level with the people of qua-
lity. We have our equipages in the same style ; we give our little
suppers on the same scale ; and, on the broad ground, we are just of
as much use in civil society. In fact, to draw a parallel between a
marquis and a player through the space of four-and-twenty hours,
they are just on a par. The marquis, for three-fourths of the time,
ranks above the player by political courtesy and sufferance ; the
player, during his hour on the stage, overtops the marquis in the
part of an emperor or a king, which he better knows how to enact.
Thus, there seems to be a balance between natural and political
nobility, which places us at least on a level with the live lumber of
the court." "Yes, truly," replied I, "you are a match for one
another : there is no gainsaying it. Bless their dear hearts ! the
players are not men of straw, as I foolishly believed, and you have
made my mouth water to serve such a worshipful fraternity."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. , 171
" Well, then," resumed she, '* you have only to come back again in
two days. That time will be sufficient to incline my mistress in
your favor ; I will speak up for you. She is a little under my influ-
ence ; I do not fear bringing you under this roof."
I thanked Laura for her good dispositions. My gratitude took
the readiest way to prove itself to her comprehension, and my ten-
der thrillings expressed more than words. We had a pretty long
conversation together, and it might have lasted till this time, if a
skipping little fellow had not come to tell my nymph of the side
scenes that Arsenia was inquiring for her. We parted. I left the
house, in the sweet hope of soon living there scot-free. My face was
shown up again at the door in two days. " I was looking out for
you," said my accomplished scout, " to assure you that you are a
messmate at this house. Come, follow me ; I will introduce you to
my mistress." At these words she led me into a suite of five or six
rooms on a floor, in a regular gradation of costly furniture and
tasteful equipment.
What luxury ! What magnificence 1 I thought myself in pre-
sence of a vice-queen, or, to mend the poverty of the comparison,
in a fairy palace, where all the riches of the earth were collected.
In fact, there were the productions of many people and of many
countries, so that one might describe this residence as the temple of
a goddess, whither every traveller brought some rare product of his
native land as a votive offering. The divinity was reclining on a
luxurious satin sofa ; she was lovely in my eyes, and pampered with
the fumes of daily sacrifices. She was in a tempting dishabille, and
her polished hands were busy about an elegant new head-dress for
her appearance that evening. " Madam," said the abigail, " here is
that said steward ; take my word for it, you will never get one more
to your liking." Arsenia looked at me very inquisitively, and did
not find me disagreeable. " Why, this is something, Laura I" cried
she ; "a very smart youth, truly ; I foresee that we shall do very well
together." Then, directing her discourse to me, "Young man,"
added she, " you suit me to a hair, and I have only one observation
to make : you will be pleased with me if I am so with you." I an-
swered that I should do my utmost to serve her to her heart's con-
tent. As I found that the bargain was struck, I went immediately
to fetch in my own little accommodations, and returned to take
formal possession.
172 ADVEM'UREiS OF GIL BIAS.
CHAPTER X.
MUCH SUCH ANOTHER AS THE FOREGOING.
IT was near the time of the doors opening. My mistress told me
to attend her to the theatre with Laura. We went into her
dressing-room, where she threw off her ordinary attire, and assumed
a more splendid costume for the stage. When the performance
began, Laura showed me the way, and seated herself' by my side,
where I could see and hear the actors to advantage. They disgusted
me for the most part, doubtless because Don Pompeyo had preju-
diced me against them. Several of them were loudly applauded, but
the fable of the pig would now and then come across my mind.
Laura told me the names of the actors and actresses as they made
their entrances. Nor did she stop there, for the hussy gave some
highly-seasoned anecdotes into the bargain. Her characters were,
crack-brain for this, impertinent fellow for that. " That delicate
sample of sin, who depends on her wantonness for her attractions,
goes by the name of Rosarda : a bad speculation for the company I
She ought to be sent with the next cargo to New Spain, she may
answer the purpose of a viceroy. Take particular notice of that
brilliant star now coming forward; that magnificent setting sun,
increasing in bulk as its fires become less livid. That is Casilda.
If from that distant day when she first laid herself open to her lovers
she had required of each of them a brick to build a pyramid, like
an ancient Egyptian princess, the edifice by this time would have
mounted to the third heaven." In short, Laura tore all characters
to pieces by her scandal. Heaven forgive her wicked tongue ! She
blasphemed her own mistress.
And yet I must own my weakness. I was in love with the wench,
though her morals were not strictly pure. She scandalized with so
winning a malignity that one liked her the better for it. Off went
the jill-flirt between the acts, to see if Arsenia wanted her; but
instead of coming straight back to her place, she amused herself
behind the scenes, in laying herself out for the little flatteries of
all the wheedling fellows. I dogged her once, and found that she
had a very large acquaintance. No less than three players did I
reckon up, who stopped to chat with her one after the other, and
they seemed to be on a very improvable footing. This was not
quite so well ; and, for the first time in my life, I felt what jealousy
was. I returned to my seat so absent and out of spirits, that Laura
remarked it as soon as she came back to me. " What is the matter,
Gil Bias?" said she with astonishment; "what blue devil has
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 173
perched upon your shoulder in my absence ? You look gloomy and
out of temper." " My fairy queen," answered I, " it is not without
reason ; you have an ugly kick in your gallop. I have observed
you with the players." ..." So, so I An admirable subject for a
long face," interrupted she with a laugh, " What ! That is your
trouble, is it ? Why, really ! you are a very silly swain ; but you
will get better notions among us. You will fall by degrees into our
easy manners. No jealousy, my dear creature ; you will be com-
pletely laughed out of it in the theatrical world. The passion is
scarcely known there. Fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, and
cousins, are all upon a liberal plan of community, and often make
a strange jumble of relationships."
After having warned me to take no umbrage, but to took at every-
thing like a philosophical spectator, she vowed that I was the happy
mortal who had found the way to her heart. She then declared
that she should love me always, and only me. On this assurance,
which a man might have doubted without criminal scepticism, I
promised her not to be alarmed any more, and kept my word. I
saw her, on that very evening,, whisper and giggle with more men
than one. At the end of the play we returned home with our mis-
tress, whither Florimonde came soon after to supper, with three old
noblemen and a player. Besides Laura and myself, the establish-
ment consisted of a cook-maid, a coachman, and a little footboy.
We all labored in our respective vocations. The lady of the frying-
pan, no less an adept than dame Jacintha, was assisted in her
cookery by the coachman. The waiting-woman and the little foot-
boy laid the cloth, and I set out the sideboard, magnificently fur-
nished with plate, offered up at the shrine of our green-room goddess.
There was every variety of wines, and I played the cup-bearer, to
show my mistress the versatilityof my talents. I sweated at the
impudence of the actresses during supper ; they gave themselves
quality airs, and affected the tone of high life. Far from giving
their guests all their style and titles, they did not even vouchsafe a
simple " Your lordship," but called them familiarly by their proper
names. To be sure, the old fools encouraged their vanity by for-
getting their own distance. The player, for his part, in the habits
of the heroic cast, lived on equal terms with them ; he challenged
them to drink, and in every respect took the upper hand. " In good
truth," said I to myself, " while Laura was demonstrating the
equality of the marquis and the comedian during the day, she might
have drawn a still stronger inference for the night, since they pass
it so merrily in drinking together."
Arsenia and Florimonde were naturally frolicsome. A thousand
broad hints escaped them, intermingled with small favors, and then
174 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
a coquettish revolt at their own freedom, which were all seasoned
exactly to the taste of these old sinners. While my mistress waa
entertaining one of them with a little harmless toying, her friend,
between the other elders, had not taken the cue of Susanna. While
I was contemplating this picture, which had but too many attractions
for a knowing youth like me, the dessert was brought in. Then I
set the bottles and glasses on the table, and made my escape to sup
with Laura, who was waiting for me. " How now, Gil Bias," said
she, " what do you think of those noblemen above stairs?" "Doubt-
less," answered I, " they are deeply smitten with Arsenia and Flor-
imonde." " No," replied she, " they are old sensualists, who hang
about our sex without any particular attachment. All they ask is
some little frivolous compliance, and they are generous enough to
pay well for the least trifle of amorous endearment. Heaven be
praised I Floriraonde and my mistress are at present without any
serious engagements ; I mean that they have no husband-like lovers,
who expect to engross all the pleasures of a house, because they
stand to the expenses. I am very glad of it: a sensible woman
of the world ought to refuse all such monopolies. Why take a
master? It is better to support an establishment by retail trade,
than to confine one's self to chamber practice on such terms."
When Laura's tongue was wound up — and it was seldom down —
words seemed to cost her nothing. What a glorious volubility I She
told a thousand stories of the actresses belonging to the prince's
company; and I gathered from her whole drift that I could not be
better situated to take a scientific view of the cardinal vices. -Un-
fortunately, I was at an age when they inspire but little horror; and
this abigail had the art of coloring her corruptions so lusciously as
to hide their deformities, and heighten their meretricious lure. She
had not time to open the tenth part of her theatrical budget, for she
did not talk more than three hours. The senators and the player
went away with Florimonde, whom they saw safe home.
When they were gone, my mistress said to me: " Here, Gil Bias,
are ten pistoles to go to market to-morrow. Five or six of our gen-
tlemen and ladies are to dine here; take care that we are well
served." " Madam," answered I, " with this sum there shall be a
banquet for the whole troop." " My friend," replied Arsenia, " cor-
rect your phraseology; you must say company, not troop. A troop
of robbers, a troop of beggars, a troop of authors; but a company of
comedians, especially when you have to mention the actors of
Madrid." I begged my mistress's pardon for having used so disre-
spectful a terra, and entreated her to excuse my ignorance. I pro-
tested that henceforward, when I spoke collectively of so august a
body, I would always say the " company."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 176
CHAPTER XI.
A THEATRICAL LIFE AND AN AUTHOR'S LIFE.
I TOOK the field the next morning, to open my campaign as
steward. It was a fish day, for which reason I bought some good
fat chickens, rabbits, partridges, and every variety of game. As the
gentlemen of the sock and buskin are not on the best possible terms
■with the church, they are not over scrupulous in their observance of
the rubric. I brought home provisions more than enough for a
dozen portly gentlemen to have fasted on during a whole Lent. The
cook had a good morning's work. While she was getting dinner
ready, Arsenia got up and spent the early part of the day at her
toilet. At noon came two of the players, Signor Eosimiro and
Signor Ricardo. Afterwards, two actresses, Constance and Celi-
naura; then entered Florimonde, attended by a man who had all
the appearance of a most spruce cavalier. He had his hair dressed
in the most elegant manner, his hat set off" with a fashionable plume,
very tight breeches, and a shirt with a laced frill. His gloves and
his handkerchief were in the hilt of his sword, and he wore his cloak
with a grace altogether peculiar to himelf.
With a prepossessing physiognomy, and a good person, there was
something extraordinary in the first blush of him. " This gentle-
man," said I to myself, "must be an original." I was not mis-
taken; his singularities were striking. On his entrance, he ran,
with open arms, and embraced the company, male and female, one
after another. His grimaces were more extravagant than any I had
yet seen in this region of foppery. My prediction was not falsified
by his discourse. He dwelt with fondness on every syllable he
uttered, and pronounced his words in an emphatic tone, with ges-
tures and glances artfully adapted to the subject. I had the curiosity
to ask Lnura who this strange figure might be. "I forgive you,"
said she, " this instance of an inquisitive disposition. It is impossible
to see and to hear Signor Carlos Alonso de la Ventoleria for the first
time without having such a natural longing. I will paint him to the
life. In the first place, he was originally a player. He left the
stage through caprice, and has since repented in sober sadness of the
step. Did you notice his dark hair ? Every thread of it is pencilled,
as well as his eyebrows and his whiskers. He was born in the
reign of Saturn's father in the age before the golden ; but as there
were no parish registers at that time, he avails himself of the primi-
tive barbarism, and dates at least twenty centuries below the true
epoch. Moreover, his self-sufficiency keeps pace with his antiquity.
176 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
He passed the olympiads of his youth in the grossest ignorance ; but
taking a fancy to become learned about the Christian era, he en-
gaged a private tutor, who taught hira to spell in Greek and Latin.
Nay, more, he knows by heart an infinite nuaiber of good stories,
which he has given so often as genuine, that he actually begins to
believe them himself. They are eternally pressed into the service,
and it may truly be said that his wit shines at the expense of his
memory. He is thought to be a great actor. I am willing to believe
it implicitly, but I must own he is not to my taste. He declaims
here sometimes ; and I have observed, among other defects, an affec-
tation in his delivery, with a tremulousness of voice bordering on
the antiquated and ridiculous."
Such was the portrait drawn by my abigail of this honorary
spouter; and never was mortal of a more stately carriage. He
prided himself, too, on being an agreeable companion. He never
was at a loss for a commodity of trite remarks, which he delivered
with an air of authority. On the other hand, the Thespian frater-
nity were not much addicted to silence. They began canvassing
their absent colleagues in a manner little consistent with charity, it
must be owned ; but this is a failing pardonable in players as well
as in authors. The fire grew brisk and the satire personal. " You
have not heard, ladies," said Rosimiro, " a new stroke of our dear
brother Cesarino. This very morning he bought silk stockings, rib-
bons, and laces, and sent them to rehearsal by a little page, as a
present from a countess." " What a knavish trick !" said Signor de
la Ventoleria, with a smile made up of fatuity and conceit. " In my
time there was more honesty : we never thought of descending to
such impositions. To be sure, women of fashion were tender to our
inventive faculties, nor did they leave such purchases to be made
out of our own pockets; it was their whim." " By the honor of our
house," said Ricardo, in the same strain, "that whim of theirs is
lasting, and if it were allowable to kis^ and tell. . . . But one must
be secret on these occasions; above all when persons of a certain
rank are concerned."
" Gentlemen," interrupted Florimonde, " a truce, if you please,
with your conquests and successes, they are known over the whole
earth. Apropos of Ismene. It is said that the nobleman who has
fooled away so much money upon her has at length recovered his
senses." "Yes indeed," exclaimed Constance; "and I can tell you
besides that she has lost, by the same stroke, a snug little hero of
the counting-house, whose ruin would otherwise have been signed
and sealed. I have the thing from the first hand. Her Mercury
made an unfortunate mistake, for he carried a tender invitation to
each, and delivered them wrong." " These were great losses, my
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 177
darling," quoth Florimonde. " Oh, as for that of the lord," replied
Constance, "it is a very trifling matter. The man of blood had
almost run through his estate, but the little fellow with the pen
behind his ear was but just coming into play. He had never been
fleeced before, it is a pity he should have escaped so easily."
Such was the tenor of the conversation before dinner, and it was
not much mended in its morality at table. As I should never have
done with the recital of all their ribaldry and nonsense, the reader
will excuse the omission, and pass on to the entrance of a poor
devil, yclept an author, who called just before the cloth was taken
away.
Our little footboy came, and said to my mistress in an audible
voice, " Madam, a man in a dirty shirt, splashed up to his middle,
with very much the look of a poet, saving your presence, wants to
speak to you." "Let him walk up," answered Arsenia. "Keep
your seats, gentlemen, it is only an author." To be sure so it was,
one whose tragedy had been accepted, aivi he was bringing my mis-
tress her part. His name was Pedro de Moya. On coming into the
room he made five or six low bows to the company, who neither
rose nor took the least notice of him. Arsenia just returned his
superabundant civilities with a slight inclination of the head. He
came forward with tremor and embarrassment. He dropped hi»
gloves and let his hat fall. He ventured to pick them up again,
then advanced towards my mistress, and presenting to her a paper
with more ceremony than a defendant an afiidavit to the judge of
the court : " Madam," said he, " have the goodness to receive under
your protection the part I take the liberty of offering you." She
stretched out her hand for it with cold and contemptuous indifler-
ence ; nor did she condescend even to notice the compliment by a
look.
But our author was not disheartened. Seizing this opportunity
to distribute the cast, he gave one character to Kosimiro and another
to Florimonde, who treated him just as genteelly as Arsenia had
done. On the contrary, the low comedian, a very pleasant fellow,
as those gentlemen for the most part affect to be, insulted him with
the most cutting sarcasms. Pedro de Moya was not made of stone.
Yet he dared not take up the aggressor, lest his piece should suffer
for it. He withdrew without saying a word, but stung to the quick,
as it seemed to me, by his reception. He could not fail, in the
transports of his anger, mentally to apostrophize the players as
they deserved : and the players, when he was gone, began to talk
of authors in return with infinite deference and kindness. "It
should seem," said Florimonde, "as if Signer de Moya did not go
away very well pleased." " Well 1 madam," cried Kosimiro, " and
12
178 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
why should you trouble yourself about that? Afe we to study the
feelings of authors ? If we were to admit them upon equal terms,
it would only be the way to spoil them. I know that contemptible
squad ; I know them of old : they would soon forget their distance.
There is no dealing with them but as slaves ; and as for tiring their
patience, never fear that. Though they may take themselves off in
a pet sometimes, the itch of writing brings them back again ; and
they are raised to the third heaven, if we will but condescend to
support their pieces." "You are right," said Arsenia; "we never
lose an author till we have made his fortune. When that is done,
as soon as we have provided for the ungrateful devils, they get to
be in good case, and then they run restive. Luckily, the manager
does not break his heart after them, and one is just as good as
another to the public."
These liberal and sagacious remarks met with their full share of
approbation. It was carried unanimously that authors, though
treated rather too scurvily behind the scenes, were on the whole the
obliged persons. These fretters of an hour upon the stage ranked
the inhabitant of Parnassus below themselves; and malice could
not degrade him lower.
CHAPTER XII.
GIL BLAS ACQUIRES A BELISH FOR THE THEATRE, AND TAKES A FULL
SWING OF ITS PLEASURES, BUT SOON BECOMES DISGUSTED.
THE party sat at the table till it was time to go to the theatre.
I went after them, and saw the play again that evening. I
took such delight in it, that I was for attending every day. I never
missed, and by degrees got accustomed to the actors. Such is the
force of habit. I was particularly delighted with those who were
most artificial and unnatural ; nor was I singular in my taste. The
beauties of composition affected me much on the same principle as
the excellence of rej^resentation. There were some pieces with
which I was enraptured. I liked, among others, those which
brought all the cardinals or the twelve peers of France upon the
stage. I got hold of striking passages in these incomparable per-
formances. I recollect that in two days I learned by heart a whole
play, called "The Queen of Flowers." The Rose, who wixs the
queen, had the Violet for her maid of honor, and the Jessamine for
her prime minister. I could conceive nothing more elegant or re-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 179
fined : such productions seemed to be the triumph of our Spanish
wit and invention,
I was not content to store my memory and discipline my mind
with the choicest selections from these dramatic masterpieces ; but
I was bent on polishing my taste to the highest perfection. To
secure this grand object, I listened with greedy ears to every word
which fell from the lips of the players. If they commended a piece,
I was ravished by it : but suppose they pronounced it bad ? why
then I maintained that it was infernal stujQf. I conceived that they
must determine the merits of a play, as a jeweller the water of a
diamond. And yet the tragedy by Pedro de Moya was eminently
successful, though they had predicted its entire miscarriage. This,
however, was no disparagement of their critical skill in my estima-
tion ; and I had rather believe the audience to be divested of com-
mon sense, than doubt the infallibility of the company. But they
assured me on all hands, that their judgments were usually con-
firmed by the rule of contraries. It seemed to be a maxim with
them, to set their faces point-blank against the taste of the public;
and as a proof of this, there were a thousand cases in point of unex-
pected successes and failures. All these testimonies were scarcely
sufficient to undeceive me.
I shall never forget what happened one day at the first represen-
tation of a new comedy. The performers had pronounced it unin-
teresting and tedious ; they had even prophesied that it would not
be heard to the end. Under this impression, they got through the
first act, which was loudly applauded. This was very astonishing 1
They played the second act ; the audience liked it still better than
the first. The actors were confounded. "What the devil," said
Rosimiro, " this comedy succeeds !" At last they went on in the
third act, which rose as a third act ought to rise. " I am quite
thrown upon my back," said Ricardo ; " we thought this piece would
not be relished ; and all the world are fnad after it." " Gentle-
men," said one of the players archly, " it is because we happened
accidentally to overlook all the wit."
From this time I held my opinion no longer of the players as
competent judges, and began to appreciate their merit more truly
than they had estimated that of the aiithors. All the lampoons
which were current about them were fully justified. The actors
and actresses ran riot on the applause of the town, and stood so
high in their own conceit, as to think that they conferred a favor by
appearing on the boards. I was shocked at their public miscon-
duct; but unfortunately reconciled myself too easily to their private
manners, and plunged into debauchery. How could I do otherwise?
Every word they uttered was poison in the ears of youth, and every
180 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
scene tbat was presented, an alluring picture of corruption. Had I
been a stranger to what passed with Casilda, with Constance, and
•with the other actresses, Arsenia's house alone would have been
sufficient for my ruin. Besides the old noblemen of whom I have
spoken, there came thither young debauchees of fashion, who fore-
stalled their inheritances by the disinterested mediation of money-
lenders ; and sometimes we had officers under government, who
were so far from receiving fees, as at their public boards, that they
paid most exorbitant ones for the privilege of mixing with, such
worshipful society.
Florimonde, who lived next door, dined and supped with Arsenia
every day. Their long intimacy surprised every one. Coquettes
were not thought usually to maintain so good an understanding with
each other. It was concluded that they would quarrel, sooner or
later, about some paramour ; but such reasoners could not see into
the hearts of these exemplary friends. They were united in the
bonds of indissoluble love. Instead of harboring jealousy, like
other women, they had everything in common. They had rather
divide the plunder of mankind, than childishly fall out, and con-
tend for trumpery, as hearts and affections.
Laura, after the example of these two illustrious partners, turned
the fresh season of youth to the best advantage. She had told me
that I should see strange doings. And yet I did not take up the
jealous part. I had promised to adopt the principles of the com-
pany on th^t score. For some days I kept my thoughts to myself.
I only just took the liberty of asking her the names of the men
whom she favored with her private ear. She always told me that they
were uncles or cousins. From what a prolific family was she sprung 1
King Priam had no luck in propagation, compared with her ances-
tors. Nor did this precious abigail confine herself to her uncles and
cousins : she went now and then to lay a trap for unwary aliens, and
personate the widow of quality under the auspices of the discreet
old dowager above mentioned. In short, Laura, to hit off her char-
acter exactly, was just as young, just as pretty, and just as loose as
her mistress, who had no other advantage over her than that of
figuring in a more public capacity.
I was borne down by the torrent for three weeks, and ran the
career of dissipation in my turn. But I must at the same time say
for myself, that in the midst of pleasure I frequently felt the still
small voice of conscience, arising from the impression of a serious
education, which mixed gall in the Circean cup. Eiot could not
altogether get the better of remorse : on the contrary, the pangs of
the last grew keener with the more shameless indulgence of the first;
and, by a happy effect of my temperament, the disorders of a theat-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
181
rical life began to make me shudder. "Ah I wretch," said I to
myself, "is it thus that you make good the hopes of your family?
Is it not enough to have thwarted tlieir pious intentions, by not fol-
lowing your destined course of life as an instructor of youth? Need
your condition of a servant hinder you from living decently and
soberly? Are such monsters of iniquity fit companions for you?
Envy, hatred, and avarice are predominant here ; intemperance and
idleness have purchased the fee-simple there ; the pride of some is
aggravated into the most barefaced impudence, and modesty is
turned out of doors, by the common consent of all. The business
is settled : I will not live any longer with the seven deadly sins."
182 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
BOOK IV
CHAPTEE I.
GIL BLAS, NOT BEING ABLE TO RECONCILE HIMSELF TO THE MORAM
OF THE ACTRESSES, QUITS AESENIA, AND GETS INTO A MORE RB-
PUTABLB SEBVICB.
A SURVIVING spark of honor and of religion, in the midst of
SO general depravity, made me resolve not only to leave Ar-
senia, but even to abjure all commerce with Laura, whom yet I
could not cease to love, though I was well aware of her daily incon-
stancy. Happy the man who can thus profit by those appeals which
occasionally interrupt the headlong course of his pleasures I One
fine morning, I made up my bundle, and, without reckoning with
Arseuia, who indeed owed me next to nothing, without taking leave
of my dear Laura, I burst from that mansion, which smelt of brim-
stone and fire reserved for the wicked. I had no sooner taken so
virtuous a step, than providence interfered in my behalf. I met the
steward of my late master, Don Matthias, and greeted him ; he knew
me again at once, and stopped to inquire where I lived. I answered
that I had just left my place ; that after staying near a month with
Arsenia, whose manners did not at all suit me, I was come aw^y by
a sudden impulse of virtue, to save my innocence. The steward,
just as if he had been himself of a religious cast, commended my
scruples, and offered me a place much to my advantage, since I was
so chaste and honest a youth. He kept his word, and introduced
me, on that very day, into the family of Don Vincent de Gusman,
with whose agent he was acquainted.
I could not have got into a better service ; nor did I repent in the
sequel of having accepted the situation. Don Vincent was a very
rich old nobleman, who had lived many years unincumbered with
lawsuits or with a wife. The physicians had removed the last plague
out of the way, in their attempts to rid her of a cough, which might
have lasted a great while longer, if the remedies had not been more
fatal than the disease. Far from thinking of the holy state a second
time, he gave himself up entirely to the education of his only
daughter Aurora, who was then entering her twenty-sixth year, and
might pass for an accomplished person. With beauty above the
common, she had an excellent and highly-cultivated understanding.
Her father was a poor creature as to intellect, but he possessed the
^ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 188
happy talent of looking well after his affairs. One fault he had, of
a kind excusable in old men : he was an incessant talker, especially
about war and fighting. If that string was unfortunately touched in
his presence, in a moment he blew his heroic trumpet, and his hear*
ers might think themselves lucky if they compounded for a gazette
extraordinary of two sieges and three battles. As he had spent two-
thirds of his life in the service, his memory was an inexhaustible
depot of various facts ; but the patience of the listeners did not always
keep pace with the perseverance of the relater. The stories, sufii'
ciently prolix themselves, were still further spun out by stuttering,
so that the manner was still less happy than the matter. In all other
respects, I never met with a nobleman of a more amiable character;
his temper was even ; he was neither obstinate nor capricious ; the
general alternative of men in the higher ranks of life. Though a
good economist, he lived like a gentleman. His establishment was
composed of several men servants, and three women in waiting on
Aurora. I soon discovered that the steward of Don Matthias had
procured me a good post, and my only anxiety was to establish my-
self firmly in it. I took all possible pains to feel the ground under
my feet, and to study the characters of the whole household : then
regulating my conduct by my discoveries, I was not long in ingrati-
ating myself with my master and all the servants.
I had been with Don Vincent above a month, when it struck me
that his daughter yvas very particular in her notice of me above all
the servants in the family. Whenever her eyes happened accident-
ally to jneet mine, they seemed to be suffused with a certain partial
complacency, which did not enter into her silent communications
with the vulgar. Had it not been for my haunts among the cox-
combs of the theatrical tribe and their hangers-on, it would never
have entered into my head that Aurora should throw away a thought
on me ; but my brain had been a little turned among those gentry,
from whose libertine suspicions ladies of the noblest birth are not
always held sacred. " If," said I, "those chronicles of the. age are
to be believed, fancy and high blood lead women of quality a dance,
in which they sometimes join hands with unequal partners : how do
I know but my young mistress may caper to a tune of my piping?
But no ; it cannot be so, neither. This is not one of your Messalinas,
who, derogating from the loftiness of ancestry, unworthily let down
their regards to the dust, and sully their pure honor without a blush ;
but rather one of those virtuously apprehensive, yet tender-hearted
girls, who encircle their softness within the insurmountable pale of
delicacy ; yet think it no tampering with chastity, to inspire and
cherish a sentimental flame, interesting to the heart without being
dangerous to the morals."
184 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ,
Such were my ideas of my mistress, without knowing exactly
whether they were right or wrong. And yet, when we met, she was
continually caught with a smile of satisfaction on her countenance.
Without passing for a fop, a man might give in to such flattering
appearances; and a philosophical apathy was not to be expected
from me. I conceived Aurora to have been deeply smitten with my
irresistible attractions, and looked on myself henceforth in the light
of a favored attendant, whose servitude was to be sweetened by the
balmy infusion of love. To appear in some measure less unworthy
of the blessings which propitious fortune had kept in store for me,
I began to take better care of my person than I had done heretofore.
I laid out my slender stock of money in linen, pomatums, and
essences. The first thing in the morning was to prank up and per*
fiime myself, so as not to be in an undress in case of being sent for
into the presence of my mistress. With these attentions to personal
elegance and other dexterous strokes in the art of pleasing, I flat-
tered myself that the moment of my bliss was not very distant.
Among Aurora's women there was one who went by the name of
Ortiz. This was an old dowager, who had been a fixture in Don
Vincent's family for more than twenty years. She had been about
his daughter from her childhood, and still held the oflace of duenna ;
but she no longer performed the invidious part of the duty. On the
contrary, instead of blazoning, as formerly, Aurora's little indiscre-
tions, her skill was now employed in throwing them into shade.
One evening. Dame Ortiz, having watched her opportunity of speak-
ing to me without observation, said, in a low voice, that if 1 was
close and trustworthy, I had only to be in the garden at midnight,
when a scene would be laid open in which I should not be sorry to
be an actor. I answered the duenna, pressing her hand signifi-
cantly, that 1 would not fail, and we parted in a hurry for fear of
surprise. How the hours lagged from this moment till supper time,
though we supped very early! Then again, from supper to my
master's bed-time 1 It seemed as if the march of the whole family
was timed to a largo movement. By way of helping forward the
fidgets, when Don Vincent withdrew to his chamber, the army was
put on the war establishment, and we were obliged to fight the cam-
paigns in Portugal over again, though my ears had not recovered
from the din of the last cannonade. But a favor from which I had
hitherto made my escape was reserved for this eventful evening.
He repeated the army list from beginning to end, with copious
digressions on the exploits of those officers who had distinguished
themselves in his time. O, my poor tympanum ! It was almost
cracked before we got to the end. Time, however, will wear out
even an old man's story, and he went to bed. I immediately went
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 185
to my own little chamber, whence there was a way into the garden
by a private staircase. I depended on my purchase of perfumery
for overcoming the effluvia of the day's drudgery, and put on a
clean shirt highly scented. When every invention had been pressed
into the service to render my person worthy of its destiny, and
cherish the fondness of my mistress, I went to the appointment.
Ortiz was not there. I concluded that, tired of waiting for me,
she had gone back to her chamber, and that the happy moment of
philandering was over. I laid all the blame on Don Vincent ; but
just as I was singing Te Deum backwards for his campaigns, I heard
the clock strike ten. To be sure it must be wrong ! It could not
be less than one o'clock. Yet I was so egregiously out in my reck-
oning, that full a quarter of an hour afterwards, I counted ten upon
my fingers by the clock at next door. " Vastly well," thought I to
myself, " I have only two complete hours to ventilate my passion
here al fresco. At least they shall not complain of me for want of
punctuality. What shall I do with myself till twelve? Suppose I
take a turn about thjs garden and settle our cues in the delicious
drama just going to be brought on the stage ; it is my first appear-
ance in so principal a character. I am not yet sufficiently well read
in the crotchets of your quality dames. I know how to tickle a girl
in a stuff gown, or an actress : you swagger up to them with an
easy, impudent assurance, and pop the question without making
any bones of it. But one must take a female of condition on a very
different tack. It seems to me that in this case the happy swain
must be well bred, attentive, tender, respectful, without degener-
ating into bashfulness. Instead of taking his happiness by storm,
he must plant his amorous desires in ambuscade, and wait till the
garrison is asleep, and the outworks defenceless."
Thus it was that I argued, and such were the preconcerted plans
of my campaign with Aurora. After a few tedious minutes, accord-
ing to my calculation, I was to experience the ecstasy of finding
myself at the feet of that lovely creature, and pouring forth a tor-
rent of impassioned nonsense. I scraped together in my memory
all the clap-traps in our stock-plays which were most successful
with the audience, and might best set off my pretensions to spirit
and gallantry. I trusted to ray own adroitness for the application,
and hoped, after the example of some players in the list of my ac-
quaintance, bringing only a stock of memory into the trade, to deal
upon credit for my wit. While my imagination was engrossed by
these thoughts, which kept my impatience at bay much more suc-
cessfully than the commentaries of my modern Caesar, I heard the
clock strike eleven. This was some encouragement, and I fell back
to my meditations, sometimes sauntering carelessly about, and some-
186 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
times throwing myself at my length on the turf, in a bower at the
bottom of the garden. At length it struck twelve, the long-expected
hour, big with my high destiny. Some seconds after, Ortiz, as
punctual as myself, though less impatient, made her appearance.
" Signor Gil Bias," said she accosting me, " how long have you been
here ?" " Two hours," answered I. " Indeed ! Truly," replied she,
laughing, " you are very exact ; there is a pleasure in making noc-
turnal assignations with you. Yet you may assure yourself," con-
tinued she, more gravely, " that you cannot pay too dear for such
good fortune as that of which I am the messenger. My mistress
wants to have some private talk with you. I shall not anticipate
what may be the subject : that is a secret which you must learn from
no lips but her own. Follow me ; I will show you into her cham-
ber." With these words the duenna took me by the hand, and led
me mysteriously into her lady's apartment through a little door, of
which she had the key.
CHAPTER II.
ATTROKA'S BECEPTION of GIL BLAS. THEIE COKVEESATIOK.
I FOUND Aurora in an undress. I saluted her in the most re-
spectful manner, and threw as much elegance into my attitude
as I had to throw. She received me with the most winning affability,
made me sit down by her, against all my remonstrances, and told
her ambassador to go into another room. After this opening, which
seemed highly encouraging to my cause, she entered upon the basi-
ness. " Gil Bias," said she, " you must have perceived how favor-
ably I have regarded and distinguished you from all the rest of my
father's servants ; and, though my looks had not betrayed my partial
dispositions towards you, my proceeding of this night would leave
you no room to doubt them."
I did not give her time to say a word more. It struck me that,
as a man of feeling, I ought to spare her trembling diffidence tlie
cruel necessity of explaining her sentiments in more direct terms.
I rose from my chair in a transport, and, throwing myself at Aurora's
feet, like a tragedy hero of the Grecian stage, when he supplicates
the heroine "by her knees," exclaimed in a declamatory tone, "Ah!
madam, could it be possible that Gil Bias, hitherto the whirligig of
fortune, and football of embattled nature, should have called down
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 187
upon his head the exquisite felicity of inspiring sentiments." . . .
" Do not speak so loud," interrupted my mistress with a laugh of
mingled apprehension and ridicule, " you will wake my women who
sleep in the adjoining chamber. Get up, take your seat, and hear
me out without putting in a word. Yes, Gil Bias," pursued she,
resuming her gravity, " you have my best wishes ; and to show you
how deep you are in my good graces, I will confide to you a secret
on which depends the repose of my life. I am in love with a young
gentleman, possessing every charm of person and face, and noble by
birth. His name is Don Lewis Pacheco. I have seen him occa-
sionally in the public walks and at the theatre, but I have never
conversed with him. I do not even know what his private character
may be, or what bad qualities he may have. It is on this subject
that I wish to be informed. I stand in need of a person to inquire
diligently into hia morals, and give me a true and particular account.
I make choice of you. Surely I run no risk in entrusting you with
this commission. I hope that you will acquit youKself with dex-
terity and prudence, and that I shall never repent of giving you
my confidence." ,
My mistress concluded thus, and waited for my answer to her
proposal. I had been disconcerted in the first instance at so dis-
agreeable a mistake ; but I soon recovered my scattered senses, and
surmounting the confusion which rashness always occasions when it
is unlucky, I exposed to sale such a cargo of zeal for the lady's
interests, I devoted myself with so martyr-like an enthusiasm to her
service, that if she did not absolutely forget my silly vanity in the
thought of having pleased her, at least she had reason to believe
that I knew how to make amends for a piece of folly. I asked only
two days to bring her a satisfactory account of Don Lewis. After
this, Dame Ortiz, answering the bell, showed me the way back into
the garden, and said, on taking leave, " Good-night, Gil Bias, I
need not caution you to be in time at the next appointment. I
have sufficient experience of your punctuality on these occasions."
I returned to my chamber, not without some little mortification
at finding my voluptuous anticipations all divested of even their
ideal sweetness. I was nevertheless sufficiently in my senses to
reflect soberly that it was more in my element to be the trusty scout
of my mistress than her lover I even thought that this adventure
might lead to something further ; that the middle men in the trade
of love usually pocket a tolerable per centage; and went to bed with
the resolution of doing whatever Aurora required of me. For this
purpose I went abroad the next morning. The residence of so dis-
tinguished a personage as Don Lewis was not difficult to find out.
I made my inquiries about him in the neighborhood, but the people
188 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
who came in my way could not satisfy my curiosity to the full, so
that it was necessary to resume my search diligently on the follow-
ing day. I was in better luck. I met a lad of my acquaintance by
chance in the street ; we stopped for a little gossip. There passed by
in the very nick one of his friends, who came up and told him that
he was just turned away from the family of Don Joseph Pacheco,
Don Lewis's father, about a paltry remnant of wine, which he had
been accused of drinking. I would not lose so fair an occasion of
learning all I wanted to know, and plied my questions so success-
fully as to go home with much self-complacency at my punctual
performance of my engagements with my mistress. It was on the
coming night that I was to see her again at the same hour, and in
the same manner as the first time. I was not in such a confounded
hurry this evening. Far from writhing with impatience under the
prolixity of my old commander, I led him on to the charge. I
waited for midnight with the greatest indifference in the world, and
it was not till all the clocks within ear-shot had struck that I crept
down into the garden, without any nonsense of pomatum and per-
fumery. That foppery was completely cured.
At the place of meeting I found the very faithful duenna, who
sneeringly reproached me with a defalcation in my zeal. I made
her no answer, but suffered myself to be conducted into Aurora's
chamber. She asked me, as soon as I made my appearance, whether
I had gained any intelligence of Don Lewis. " Yes, madam," said
I, " and you shall have the sum total in two words. I must first
tell you, that he will soon set out for Salamanca, to finish his
studies. The young gentleman is brimful of honor and probity.
As for the valor, he cannot be deficient there, since he is a man of
birth and a Castilian. Besides this, he has an infinite deal of wit,
and is very agreeable in his manners ; but there is one thing which
can scarcely be to your liking. He is pretty much in the fashion
of our young nobility here at court — exemplarily catholic in his de-
votions to the fair. Have you not heard that at his age he haa
already been tenant-at-will to two actresses ?" " What is it you
tell me?" replied Aurora. " "What shocking conduct 1 But do you
know for certain, Gil Bias, that he leads so dissolute a life ?" " O I
there is no doubt of it, madam," rejoined I. "A servant, turned
off this morning, told me so, and servants are very plain dealers
when the failings of their masters are the topic. Besides, he keeps
company with Don Alexo Segiar, Don Antonio Centclles, and Don
Fernando de Gamboa ; that single circumstance proves his liber-
tinism with all the force of demonstration." "It is enough, Gil
Bias," said my mistress with a sigh ; " on your report I am deter-
mined to struggle with my unworthy passion. Though it has
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 189
already struck deep root in my heart, I do not despair of tearing
it forcibly from its bed. Go," added she, putting into my hands a
small purse, none of the lightest, " take this for your pains. Be-
ware of betraying my secret. Consider it as entrusted to your
silence."
I assured my mistress that she might be perfectly easy on that
score, for I was the Harpocrates of confidential servants. After
this compliment to myself,.! withdrew with no small eagerness to
investigate the contents of the purse. There were twenty pistoles.
It struck me all at once that Aurora would surely have given me
more had I been the bearer of pleasant tidings, since she paid so
handsomely for a blank in the lottery. I was sorry not to have
adopted the policy of the pleaders in the courts, who sometimes
paint the cheek of truth when her natural complexion is inclined
to be cadaverous. It was a pity to have stifled an amour in the
birth which might in its growth have been so profitable. Yet I had
the comfort of finding myself reimbursed the expense so unseason-
ably incurred in perfumery and washes.
CHAPTER III,
A GREAT CHANGE AT DON VINCENT'S. ATJROEA'S STRANGE RESO-
LUTION.
IT happened soon after this adventure that Signor Don Vincent
fell sick. Independent of his very advanced age, the symptoms
of his disorder appeared in so formidable a shape that a fatal termi-
nation was but too probable. From the beginning of his illness he
was attended by two of the most eminent physicians in Madrid.
One was Doctor Andros, and the other Doctor Oquetos. They con-
sidered the case with due solemnity ; and both agreed, after a strict
investigation, that the humors were in a state of mutiny, but this
was the only thing about which they did agree. The proper prac-
tice, said Andros, is to purge the humors, though raw, with all
possible expedition, while they are in a violent agitation of flux
and reflux, for fear of their fixing upon some noble part. Oquetos
maintained, on the contrary, that we must wait till the humors were
ripened before it would be safe to go upon purgatives. " But your
method," replied the first speaker, " is directly in the teeth of the
rules laid down by the prince of medicine. Hippocrates recom-
190 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
mends purging in the most burning fever from the very first attack,
and says in plain terms that no time is to be lost in purging when
the humors are in opyaafio^, that is to say, in a state of fermenta-
tion." "Ay! there is your mistake," replied Oquetos. "Hippo-
crates by the word opyaa/wc does not mean the fermentation, he
means rather the concoction of the humors."
Thereupon our doctors got heated. One quotes the Greek text,
and cites all the authors who have explained it in his sense ; the
other, trusting to a Latin translation, takes up the controversy in a
still more positive tone. Which of the two to believe? Don Vin-
cent was not the man to decide that question. In the meantime,
finding himself obliged to choose, he gave his confidence to the
party who had despatched the greatest number of patients — I mean
the elder of the two. Andros, the younger, immediately withdrew,
not without flinging out a few satirical taunts at his senior on the
opyaajioq. Here, then, was Oquetos triumphant. As he was a pro-
fessor of the Sangrado school, he began by bleeding copiously,
waiting till the humors were ripened before he went upon purga-
tives. But death, fearing, no doubt, lest this reserve of purgatives
should turn the fortunes of the day, got the start of the concoction,
and secured his victory over my master by a coup de main. Such
was the final close of Signor Don Vincent, who lost his life because
his physician did not know Greek.
Aurora, having buried her father with a pomp suited to the dig-
nity of his birth, administered to his effects. Having the whole ar-
rangement of everything in her own breast, she discharged some of
the servants with rewards proportioned to their services, and soon
retired to her castle on the Tagus, between Sacedon and Buendia.
I was among the number of those whom she kept, and who made
part of her country establishment. I had even the good fortune to
become a principal agent in the plot. In spite of my faithful report
on the subject of Don Lewis, she still harbored a partiality for that
bewitching young fellow; or rather, for want of spirit to combat her
passion in the first instance, she surrendered at discretion. There
was no longer any need of taking precautions to speak with me in
private. " Gil Bias," said she with a sigh, " I can never forget Don
Lewis. Let me make what effort I will to banish him from my
thoughts, he is present to them without intermission, not as you
have described him, plunged in every variety of licentious riot, but
just what my fancy would paint him, — tender, loving, constant."
She betrayed considerable emotion in uttering these words, and
could not help shedding tears. My fountains were very near play-
ing from mere sympathy. There was no better way of paying my
court than by appearing sensibly touched at her distress. "My
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 191
friend," continued she, after having wiped her loving eyes, " your
nature is evidently cast in a benevolent mould ; and I am so well
satisfied with your zeal that it shall not go unrewarded. Your assist-
ance, my dear Gil Bias, is more necessary to me than ever. You
must be made acquainted with a plan which engrosses all my
thoughts, though it will appear strangely eccentric. You are to
know that I mean to set out for Salamanca as soon as possible.
There, my design is to assume the disguise of a fashionable young
fellow, and to make acquaintance with Pacheco under the name of
Don Felix. I shall endeavor to gain his confidence and friendship,
and lead the conversation incidentally to the subject of Aurora de
Guzman, for whose cousin I shall pass. He may perhaps express a
wish to see her, and there is the point on which I expect the interest
to turn. We will have two apartments in Salamanca. In one I
shall be Don Felix, in the other, Aurora ; and I flatter myself that
by presenting my person before Don Lewis, sometimes 'under
the semblance of a man, sometimes in all the natural and artificial
attractions of my own sex, I may bring him by little and little to
the proposed end of my stratagem. I am perfectly aware that my
project is extravagant in the highest degree, but my passion drives
me headlong ; and the innocence of my intentions renders me insen-
sible to all compunctious feelings of virgin apprehension respecting
so hazardous a step."
I was exactly in the same mind with Aurora respecting the ex-
travagance of her scheme. Yet, unreasonable as it might seem to
reflecting persons like myself, there was no occasion for me to play
the schoolmaster. On the contrary, I began to practice all the arts
of a thorough-bred special pleader, and undertook to magnify this
hair-brained pursuit into a piece of incomparable wit and spirit,
without the least tincture of imprudence. This was highly gratify-
ing to my mistress. Lovers like to have their rampant fancies
tickled. We no longer considered this rash enterprise in any other
light than as a play, of which the characters were to be properly
cast, and the business dramatically arranged. The actors were
chosen out of our own domestic establishment, and the parts dis-
tributed without secret jealousy or open rupture, but then we were
not players by profession. It was determined that Dame Ortiz should
personate Aurora's aunt under the name of Donna Kimena de Guz-
man, with a valet and waiting-maid by way of attendance ; and that
Aurora, with the swashing outside of a gay spark, was to take me
for her valet-de-chambre, with one of her women disguised as a
page, to be more immediately about her person. The drama thus
filled up, we returned to Madrid, where we understood Don Lewis
still to be, though it was not likely to be long till his departure for
192 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
Salamanca. We got up with all possible haste the dresses and de-
corations of our wild comedy. When they were in complete order,
my mistress had them packed up carefully, that they might come
out in all their gloss and newness on the rising of the curtain.
Then, leaving the care of her family to her steward, she began her
journey in a coach drawn by four mules, and travelled towards the
kingdom of Leon with those of her household who had some part to
play in the piece.
We had already crossed Old Castile, when the axletree of the
coach gave way. The accident happened between Avila and Villa-
flor, at the distance of three or four hundred yards from a castle
near the foot of a mountain. Night was coming on, and the measure
of our troubles seemed to be heaped up and overflowing. But there
passed accidentally by us a countryman, by whose assistance we were
relieved from our difficulties. He acquainted us that the castle yon-
der belonged to Donna Elvira, widow of Don Pedro de Penares ; at
the same time giving so favorable a character of that lady, that my
mistress sent me to the castle with a request of a night's lodging.
Elvira did not disgrace the good word of the countryman. She re-
ceived me with an air of hospitality, and returned such an answer to
my compliment as I wished to carry back. We all went to the
castle, whither the mules dragged the carriage with considerable
difficulty. At the gate we met the widow of Don Pedro, who came
out to meet my mistress. I shall pass over in silence the reciprocal
civilities which were exchanged on this occasion, in compliance
with the usage of the polite world. I shall only say th^t Elvira was
a lady rather advanced in years, but remarkably well-bred, with an
address superior to that of most women in doing the honors of her
house. She led Aurora into a sumptuous apartment, where, leaving
her to rest herself for a short time, she looked after everything her-
self, and left nothing undone which could in the least contribute to
our comfort. Afterwards, when supper was ready, she ordered it to
be served up in Aurora's chamber, where they sat down to table
together. Don Pedro's widow was not of a description to cast a slur
on her own hospitalities, by assuming an air of abstraction or sullen-
ness. Her temper was gay, and her conversation lively without
levity; for her ideas were dignified, and her expressions select.
Nothing could exceed her wit, accompanied by a peculiarly fine turn
of thought. Aurora appeared as much to be delighted as myself.
They became sworn friends, and mutually engaged in a regular cor-
respondence. As our carriage could not be repaired till the follow-
ing day, and we should have encountered some perils by setting out
late at night, it was determined that we should take up our abode
at the castle till the damage was made good. All the arrangements
ADVENTURES OF GIL liLAS. 193
were in the first style of elegance, and our lodgings were corres-
pondent to the magnificence of the establishment in other respects.
The day after, my mistress discovered new charms in Elvira's
conversation. They dined in a large hall, where there were several
pictures. One among the rest was distinguished for its admirable
execution, but the subject was highly tragic. A principal figure
was a man of superior mien, lying lifeless on his back, and bathed
in his own blood ; yet in the very embraces of death he wore a
menacing aspect. At a little distance from him you might see a
young lady in different posture, though stretched likewise on the
ground. She had a sword plunged in her bosom, and was giving
up her last sighs, at the same time casting her dying glances at a
young mart who seemed to suffer a mortal pang at losing her. The
painter had besides charged his picture with a figure which did not
escape my notice. It was an old man of a venerable physiognomy,
sensibly touched with the objects which struck his sight, and equally
alive with the young man to the impressions of the melancholy
scene. It might be said that these images of blood and desolation
affected both the spectators with the same astonishment and grief,
but that the outward demonstrations of their inward sentiments
were different. The old man, sunk in a profound melancholy,
looked as if he was bowed down to the ground ; while the youth
mingled something like the extravagance of despair with the tears
of affliction. All these circumstances were depicted with touches
so characteristic and affecting, that we could not take our eyes off
the performance. My mistress desired to know the subject of the
piece. "Madam," said Elvira, "it is a faithful delineation of the
misfortunes sustained by my family." This answer excited Aurora's
curiosity, and she testified so strong a desire to learn the particulars,
that the widow of Don Pedro could do no otherwise than promise
her the satisfaction she desired. This promise, made before Ortiz,
her two fellow-servants, and myself, rooted us to the spot on which
we were listening to their former conversation. My mistress would
have sent us away ; but Elvira, who saw plainly that we were dying
with eagerness to be present at the explanation of the picture, had
the goodness to desire us to stay, alleging at the same time that the
story she had to relate was not of a nature to enjoin secrecy.
After a moment's reflection, she began her recital to the following
effect.
S^g^ft^l^
13
1^ ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
CHAPTER IV.
THE FATAL MAKKIAGE: A NOVEL.
« 13 OGEE, king of Sicily, had a brother and sister. His brother,
XV by name Mainfroi, rebelled against him, and kindled a war
in the kingdom, bloody in its immediate effects, and portentous in
ita future consequences. But it was his fate to lose two battles, and
to fall into the king's hands. The punishment of his revolt ex-
tended no farther than the loss of liberty. This act of clemency
served only to make Roger pass for a barbarian in the estimation of
the disaffected party among his subjects. They contended that he
had saved his brother's life only to wreak his vengeance on him by
tortures the more merciless because protracted. People in general,
on better grounds, transferred the blame of Mainfroi's harsh treat-
ment while in prison to his sister Matilda. That princess had, in
fact, cherished a long-rooted hatred against this prince, and was
indefatigable in her persecutions during his whole life. She died
in a very short time after him, and her premature fate was consid-
ered as the retribution of a just providence, for her disregard of
those sentiments implanted by nature for the best purposes.
"Mainfroi left behind him two sons. They were yet in their
childhood. Roger had a kind of lurking desire to get rid of them,
under the apprehension lest, when arrived at a more advanced age,
the wish of avenging their father might hurry them to the revival
of a faction which was not so entirely overthrown as to be incapa-
ble of originating new intrigues in the state. He communicated
his purpose to the senator Leontio Siffredi, his minister, who di-
verted him from his bloody thoughts by undertaking the education
of Prince EnriqueE, the eldest, and recommending the care of the
younger, by name Don Pedro, to the constable of Sicily, as a trusty
counsellor and loyal servant, Roger, assured that his nephews
would be trained up by these two men in principles of .due submis-
sion to the royal authority, gave up the reins of guardianship to
their control, and himself took charge of his nieoe Constance. She
was of the same age with Enriquez, and only daughter of the
princess Matilda. He allowed her an establishment of female
attendants, and of masters in every branch of the politer studies,
80 that nothing was wanting, either to her instruction or her state.
" Leontio Siffredi had a castle at the distance of less than two
leagues from Palermo, in a spot named Belraonte. There it was
that this minister exerted all his talents and diligence to render
Enriquez worthy of one day ascending the throne of Sicily. From
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 195
the first, he discovered dispositions so amiable in that prince, that
his attachment became as strong as if he had no child of his own.
He had, however, two daughters. Blanche, the first-born, one year
younger than the prince, was armed at all points with the weapons
of a most perfect beauty. Her sister Portia was still in her cradle.
The mother had died in child-bed of this youngest. Blanche and
Prince Enriquez conceived a reciprocal affection as soon as they
were alive to the influence of love ; but they were not allowed to
improve their acquaintance into familiar intercourse. The prince,
nevertheless, found the means of occasionally eluding the prudential
vigilance of his guardian. He knew sufficiently well how to avail
himself of those precious moments, and prevailed so far with Siff-
redi's daughter, as to gain her consent to the execution of a project
which he meditated. It happened precisely at this time that
Leontio was obliged by the king's order to take a journey into one
of the most remote provinces in the island. During his absence,
Enriquez got an opening made in the wall of his apartment, which
led into Blanche's chamber. This opening was concealed by a
sliding shutter, so exactly corresponding with the wainscot, and so
closely fitting in with the ceiling and the floor, that the most suspi-
cious eye could not have detected the contrivance. A skillful work-
man, whom the prince had gained over to his interests, helped him
to this private communication with equal speed and secrecy.
"The enamored Enriquez having obtained this inlet into his
mistress's chamber, sometimes availed himself of his privilege ; but
he never took advantage of her partiality. Imprudent as it may
well be thought, to admit of a secret entrance into her apartment, it
was only on the express and reiterated assurance that none but the
most innocent favors should be requested at her hands. One night
he found her in a state of unusual perturbation. She had been in-
formed that Roger was drawing near his end, and had sent for
Sifiredi as lord high chancellor of the kingdom, and the legal de-
positary of his last will and testament. Already did she figure to
herself her dear Enriquez elevated to royal honors. She was afraid
of losing her lover in her sovereign, and that fear had strangely
affected her spirits. The tears were standing in her eyes, when
the unconscious cause of them appeared before her. 'You weep,
madam,' said he; 'what am I to think of this overwhelming grief?'
' My lord,' answered Blanche, * it were vain for me to hide my ap-
prehensions. The king, your uncle, is at the point of death, and
you will soon be called to supply his place. When I measure the
distance placed between us by your approaching greatness, I will
own to you that my mind misgives me. The monarch and the lover
estimate objects through a far difierent medium. What constituted
196 ADVENTURES OF GIL "BLAS.
the fondest wish of the individual, while his aspiring thoughts were
checked by the control of a superior, fades into insignificance before
the tumultuous cares or brilliant destinies of royalty. Be it the
misgiving of an anxious heart, or the whisper of a well-founded
opinion, I feel distracting emotions succeed one another in my
breast, which not all my just confidence in your goodness can allay.
The source of my mistrust is not in the suspected steadiness of your
attachment, but in a diffidence of my own happy fate.' ' Lovely
and beloved Blanche,' replied the prince, ' your fears but bind me
the more firmly in your fetters, and warrant my devotion to your
charms. Yet this excessive indulgence of a fond jealousy borders
on disloyalty to love, and, if I may venture to say so, trenches on
the esteem to which my constancy has hitherto entitled me. No,
no, never entertain a doubt that my destiny can ever be sundered
from yodrs, but rather indulge the pleasing anticipation, that you,
and you alone, will be the arbitress of my fate, and the source of
all my bliss. Away then with these vain alarms. Why must they
disturb an intercourse so charming?' 'Ah! my lord,' rejoined the
daughter of Leontio, 'your subjects, when they place the crown
upon your head, may ask of you a princess-queen, descended from
a long line of kings, whose glittering alliance shall join new realms
to your hereditary estates. Perhaps, alas 1 you will meet their am-
bitious aims, even at the expense of your softest vows.' * Nay, why,'
resumed Enriquez, with rising passion, * why, too ready a self-tor-
mentor, do you raise up so afflicting a phantom of futurity ? Should
heaven take the king, my uncle, to itself, and place Sicily under my
dominion, I swear to unite myself to you at Palermo, in presence of
my whole court. To this I call to witness all which is held sacred
and inviolable among men.'
"The protestations of Enriquez removed the fears of SifTredi's
daughter. The rest of their discourse turned on the king's illness.
Enriquez displayed the goodness of his natural disposition, for he
pitied his uncle's lot, though he had no reason to be greatly affected
by it ; but the force of blood extorted from him sentiments of regret
for a prince whose death held out an immediate prospect of the
crown. Blanche did not yet know all the misfortunes which hung
over her. The constable of Sicily, who had met her coming out of
her father's apartment one day when he was at the castle of Belmonte
on some business of importance, was struck with admiration. The
very next day, he made proposals to Siffredi, who entertained his
oflTer favorably ; but the illness of Roger taking place unexpectedly
about that time, the marriage was put off for the present, and the
subject had not been hinted at in the most distant manner to
Blanche.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 197
"One morning, as Enriquez had just finished dressing, he waa
surprised to see Leontio enter his apartment, followed by Blanche.
'Sir,' said this minister, ' the news I have to announce will in some
degree afflict your excellent heart, but it is counteracted by consol-
ing circumstances which ought to moderate your grief. The king,
your uncle, has departed this life, and by his death, left you the
heir of his sceptre. Sicily is at your feet. The nobility of the
kingdom' wait your orders at Palermo. They have commissioned
me to receive them in person, and I come, my liege, with my daugh-
ter, to pay you the earliest and sincerest homage of your new sub-
jects.' The prince, who was well aware that Roger had been for
two months sinking under a complaint gradual in its progress, but
fatal in its nature, was not astonished at this news. And yet, struck
with his sudden exaltation, he felt a thousand confused emotions
rising up by turns in his heart. He mused for some time, then
breaking silence, addressed these words to Leontio: ' Wise SifTredi,
I have always considered you as my father. I shall make it my
glory to be governed by your counsels, and you shall reign in Sicily
with a sway paramount to my own.' With these words, advancing
to the standish and taking a blank sheet of paper, he wrote his
name at the bottom. 'What are you doing, sir?' said Siffredi.
'Proving my gratitude and my esteem,' answered Enriquez. Then
the prince presented tlie paper to Blanche, and said : 'Accept,
madam, this pledge of my faith, and of the empire with which I
invest you over my thoughts and actions.' Blanche received it with
a blush, and made this answer to the prince : ' I acknowledge, with
all humility, the condescensions of my sovereign, but my destiny is
in the hands of a father, and you must not consider me as ungrate-
ful if I deposit this flattering token in his custody, to be used ac-
cording to the dictates of his sage discretion.'
" In compliance with these sentiments of filial duty, she gave the
sign manual of Enriquez to her father. Then Siffredi saw at once
what, till that moment, had eluded his penetration. He entered
clearly into the prince's sentiments, and said : 'Your majesty shall
have no reproaches to make me. I shall not act unworthily of the
confidence.' . . . ' My dear Leontio,' interrupted Enriquez, * you
and unworthiness never can be allied. Make what use you please
of my signature. I shall confirm your determination. But go,
return to Palermo, prescribe the ceremonies for my coronation there,
and tell ray subjects that I shall follow you in person immediately,
to receive their oaths of allegiance, and assure them of ray protec-
tion in return.' The minister obeyed the commands of his new
master, and set out for Palermo with his daughter.
" Some hours after their departure, the prince also left Belmonte,
198 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
with his thoughts more intent on his passion, than on the high rank
to which he was called. Immediately on his arrival in the city,
the air was rent with a thousand cries of joy. He made his entry
into the palace amid the acclamations of the people, and everything
was ready for the august formalities. The Princess Constance was
waiting to receive him, in a magnificent mourning dress. She ap-
peared deeply affected by Roger's death. The customs of society
required from them a reciprocal compliment of condolence on the
late event, and they each of them acquitted themselves with good
breeding and propriety. But there was somewhat more coldness on
the part of Enriquez than on that of Constance, who could not enter
into family quarrels, and resolved on hating the young prince. He
placed himself on the throne, and the princess sat beside him in a
chair of state a little less elevated. The great officers of the realm
fell into their places, each according to his rank. The ceremony
began ; and Leontio, as lord high chancellor of the kingdom, hold-
ing in his possession the will of the late king, opened it, and read
the contents aloud. This instrument contained in substance that
Roger, in default of issue, nominated the eldest son of Mainfroi his
successor, on condition of his marrying the Princess Constance; and
in the event of iiis refusing her hand, the crown of Sicily was to
devolve, to his exclusion, on the head of the infant Don Pedro, his
brother, on the like condition.
"These words were a thunderstroke to Enriquez. His senses
were all bewildered even to distraction, and his agonies became
still more acute when Leontio, having finished the reading of the
will, addressed the assembly at large to the following effect : ' My
lords, the last injtinction of the late king having been made known
to our new monarch, that pious and excellent prince consents to
honor his cousin, the Princess Constance, with his hand.' At these
words Enriquez interrupted the chancellor. 'Leontio,' said he,
'remember the writing; Blanche.' . . . 'Sire,' interrupted Siffredi
in his turn with precipitation, 'lest the prince should find an oppor-
tunity of making himself understood, here it is. The nobility of
the kingdom,' added he, exhibiting the blank paper to the assem-
bly, ' will see by your majesty's august subscription, the esteem in
which you hold the princess, and your implicit deference to the last
will of the late king your uncle.'
"Having finished these words, he forthwith began reading the
instrument in such terms as he had himself inserted. According to
the contents, the new king gave a promise to his people, with for-
malities the most binding and authentic, that he would marry Con-
stance, in conformity with the intention of Roger. The hall
reechoed with pealing shouts of satisfaction. ' Long live our high
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS: 199
and mighty King Enriquez !' exclaimed all those who were present.
As the marked aversion of the prince for the princess had never
been any secret, it was apprehended, not without reason, that he
might revolt against the condition of the will, and light up the
flame of civil discord in the kingdom ; but the public enunciation
of this solemn act, quieting the fears of the nobility and the people
on that head, excited these universal applauses, which went to the
monarch's heart like the stab of an assassin. Constance, who had
a nearer interest than any human being in the result, from the
double motive of glory and personal affection, laid hold of this op-
portunity for expressing her gratitude. The priiace had much ado
to keep his feelings" within bounds. He received the compliment of
the princess with so constrained an air, and evinced so unusual a
disorder in his behavior, as scarcely to reply in a manner suited to
the common forms of good breeding. At last, no longer master of
his violent passions, he went up to Siffredi, whom the formalities of
his office detained near the royal person, and said to him in a low
tone of voice, ' What is the meaning of all this, Leontio ? The sig-
nature which I deposited in your daughter's hands was not meant
for such a use as this. You are guilty of.' . . .
" ' My liege,' interrupted Siffredi again with a tone of firmness,
' look to your own glory. If you refuse to comply with the injunc-
tions of the king your uncle, you lose the crown of Sicily.' No sooner
had he thrown in this salutary hint, than he got away from the king,
to prevent all possibility of a reply. Enriquez was left in a most
embarrassing situation. A thousand opposite emotions agitated him
at once. He was exasperated against Siffredi. To give up Blanche
was more thian he could endure : so that, balancing his private feel-
ings and the calls of public honor, he was doubtful to which side he
should incline. At length his doubts were resolved, under the idea
of having found the means to secure Siffredi's daughter, without
giving up his claim to the throne. He affected, therefore, an entire
submission to the will of Roger, in the hope, while a dispensation
from his marriage with his cousin was soliciting at Rome, of gaining
the leading nobility by his largesses, and thus establishing his power
so firmly, as not to be under the necessity of fulfilling the conditions
of the obnoxious instrument.
" After forming this design, he got to be more composed ; and
turning towards Constance, confirmed to her what the lord high
chancellor had read in presence of the whole assembly. But at the
very moment when he had so far betrayed himself as to pledge his
faith, Blanche arrived in the hall of council. She came thither, by
her father's command, to pay her duty to the jjrincess ; and her ears,
on entering, were startled at the expressions of Enriquez. In ad-
200 'ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
dition to this shock, Leontio, determined not to leave her in doubt
of her misfortune, accompanied her presentation to Constance with
these words : ' Daughter, make your homage acceptable to your
queen ; call down upon her the blessings of a prosperous reign and a
happy marriage.' This terrible blow overwhelmed the unfortunate
Blanche. Vain were all her attempts to suppress her anguish ; her
countenance changed successively from the deepest blush to a deadly
paleness, and she trembled from head to foot. And yet the princess
had no suspicion how the matter really stood ; but attributed the
confused style of her compliment to the awkwardness of a young
person brought up in a state of rustication, and totally unacquainted
with the manners of a court. But the young king was more in the
secret. The sight of Blanche put him out of countenance ; and the
despair, too legible in her eyes, was enough to drive him out of his
senses. Her feelings were not to be misunderstood ; and they pointed
at him as the most faithless of men. Could he have spoken to her,
it might have tranquillized his agitation : but how to lay hold of the
happy moment, when all Sicily, at least the illustrious part of it, was
fixed in anxious expectation on his proceedings? Besides, the stern
and inflexible Siffredi extinguished at once every ray of hope. This
minister, who was at no loss to decipher the hearts of the two lovers,
and was firmly resolved, if possible, to prevent the evil consequences
impending over the state from the violence of this imprudent at-
tachment, got his daughter out of the assembly with the dexterity of
a practised courtier, and regained the road to Belmonte with her in
his possession, determined, for more reasons than one, to marry her
as soon as possible.
" When they reached home, he gave her to understand all the
horror of her destiny, by announcing his promise to the constable.
' Just Heaven !' exclaimed she, transported into a paroxysm of de-
spair, which her father's presence could not restrain ; 'what unparal-
leled suffering have you the cruelty to lay up in store for the ill-fated
Blanche?' Her agony went to such a degree of violence, as to sus-
pend every power of her soul. Her limbs seemed as if stiffened
under the icy grasp of death. Cold and pale, she fell senseless into
her father's arms. Neither was he insensible to her melancholy con-
dition. Yet, feeling as he did all the alarm and anxiety of a parent,
the stern inflexibility of the statesman remained unshaken. Blanche,
after a time, was recalled to life and feeling, rather by the keenness
of her mental pangs than by the means which Siffredi used for her
recovery. Languishingly did she raise her scarcely conscious eyes :
when, glancing on the author of her misery, as he was anxiously
employed about her person : ' My lord,' said she, with inarticulate
and convulsive accents, ' I am ashamed to let you see my weakness :
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 201
but death, which cannot be long in finishing my torments, will soon
rid you of a wretched daughter, who has ventured to dispose of her
heart without consulting you.' * No, my dear Blanche,' answered
Leontio, 'your death would be too dear a sacrifice: Virtue will re-
sume her empire over your actions. The constable's proposals do
you honor ; it is one of the most considerable alliances in the state.'
.... 'I esteem his person and am sensible of his merit,' inter-
rupted Blanche; 'but, my lord, the king had given me encourage-
ment to indulge.' . . . ' Daughter,' vociferated SifTredi, breaking in
upon her discourse, ' I anticipated all you have to say on that sub-
ject. Your partiality for the prince is no secret to me, nor would it
meet my disapprobation under other circumstances. You should
even see me active and ardent to secure for you the hand of Enri-
quez, if the cause of glory and the welfare of the realm demanded it
not indispensably for Constance. It is on the sole condition of
marrying that princess, that the late king has nominated him his
successor. Would you have him prefer you to the crown of Sicily?
Believe me, my heart bleeds at the mortal blow which impends over
you. Yet, since we cannot contend with the fates, make a magnani-
mous effort. Your fame is concerned, not to let the whole nation
see that you have nursed up a delusive hope. Your sensibility
towards the person of the king might even give birth to ignominious
rumors. The only method of preserving yourself from their poison
is to marry the constable. In short, Blanche, there is no time left
for irresolution. The king has decided between a throne and the
possession of your charms. He has fixed his choice on Constance.
The constable holds my word in pledge : enable me to redeem it, I
beseech you. Or, if nothing but a paramount necessity can fix your
wavering resolution, I must make an unwilling use of ray parental
authority ; know then, I command you.'
" Ending with this threat, he left her to make her own reflections
on what had passed. He was in hopes that after having weighed
the reasons he had urged to support her virtue against the bias of
her feelings, she would determine of herself to admit the constable's
addresses. He was not mistaken in his conjecture : but at what an
expense did the wretched Blanche rise to this height of virtuous
resolution ! Her condition was that in the whole world the most
deserving of pity. The affliction of finding her fears realized, respect-
ing the infidelity of Enriquez, and of being compelled, besides losing
the man of her choice, to sacrifice herself to another whom she could
never love, occasioned her such storms of passion and alternate toss-
ings of frantic desperation, as to bring with each successive moment
a variety of vindictive torture. ' If my sad fate is fixed,' exclaimed
she, ' how can I triumph over it but by death ? Merciless powers,
202 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
who preside over our wayward fortunes, why feed and tantalize me
with the most flattering hopes, only to plunge me headlong into a
gulf of miseries? And thou too, perfidious lover! to rush into the
arms of another, when all those vows of eternal fidelity were mine.
So soon then is that plighted faith void and forgotten ? To punish
thee for so cruel a deception, may it please Heaven in its retribution
to make the conscious couch of conjugal endearment, polluted as it
iuust be by perjury, less the scene of pleasure than the dungeon of re-
morse I May the fond caresses of Constance distill poison through
thy faithless heart 1 Let us rival one another in the horrors of our
nuptials 1 Yes, traitor, I mean to wed the constable, though shrink-
ing from his ardent touch, to avenge me on myself! to be my own
scourge and tormentor, for having selected so fatally the object of
my frantic passion. Since deep-rooted obedience to the will of God
forbids to entertain the thought of a premature death, whatever days
may be allotted me to drag on shall be but a lengthened chain of
heaviness and torment. If a sentiment of love lurks about your
heart, it will be revenge enough for me to cast myself into your
presence, the devoted bride or victim of another: but if you have
thrown off my remembrance with your own vows, Sicily at least shall
glory in the distinction of reckoning among its natives a woman who
knew how to punish herself for having disposed of her heart too
lightly.'
" In such a state of mind did this wretched martyr to love and
duty pass the night preceding her marriage with the constable.
Siflredi, finding her the next morning ready to comply with his
wishes, hastened to avail himself of this favorable disposition. He
sent for the constable to Belmonte on that very day, and the mar-
riage ceremony was performed privately in the chapel of the castle.
What a crisis for Blanche ! It was not enough to renounce a crown,
to lose a lover endeared to her by every tie, and to yield herself up
to the object of her hatred; in addition to all this she must put a
constraint on her sentiments before a husband naturally jealous, and
long occupied with the most ardent admiration of her charms. The
bridegroom, delighted in the possession of her, was all day long in
her presence. He did not leave her to the miserable co-nsolation of
pouring out her sorrows in secret. When night arrived, Leontio's
daughter felt all her disgust and terror redoubled. But what seemed
likely to become of her when her women, after having undressed
her, left her alone with the constable ? He inquired respectfully
into the cause of her apparent faintness and discomposure. The
question was sufficiently embarrassing to Blanche, who affected to be
ill. Her husband was at first deceived by her pretences ; but he did
not long remain in such, an error. Being, as he was, sincerely con-
.ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 203
cerned at the condition in which he saw her, but still pressing her
to go to bed, his urgent solicitations, falsely construed by her, otfered
to her wounded mind an image so cruel and indelicate, that she
could no longer dissemble what was passing within, but gave a free
course to her sighs and tears. What a discovery for a man who
thought himself at the summit of his wishes ! He no longetdoubted
but the distressed state of his wife was fraught with some sinister
omen to his love. And yet, though this knowledge reduced him to
a situation almost as deplorable as that of Blanche, he had sufficient
command over himself to keep his suspicions within his own breast.
He redoubled his assiduities, and went on pressing his bride to lay
herself down, assuring her that the repose of which she stood in
need should be undisturbed by his interruption. He offered of hia
own accord even to call her women, if she was of opinion that their
attendance could afford any relief to her indisposition. Blanche,
reviving at that proposal, told him that sleep was the best
remedy for the debility under which she labored. He affected to
think so too. They accordingly partook of the same bed, but with
a conduct altogether different from what the laws of love, sanctioned
by the rites of marriage, might authorize in a pair mutually delighted
and delighting.
" While Siffredi's daughter was giving way to her grief, the con-
stable was hunting in his own mind for the causes which might ren-
der the nuptial office so contemptible a sinecure in his hands. He
could not be long in conjecturing that he had a rival, but when he
attempted to discover him he was lost in the labyrinth of his own
ideas. All he knew with certainty was the peculiar severity of his
own fate. He had already passed two-thirds of the night in this
perplexity of thought, when an undistinguishable noise grew gradu-
ally on his sense of hearing Great was his surprise when a foot-
step* seemed audibly to pace about the room. He fancied himself
mistaken, for he recollected shutting the door himself after Blanche's
women had retired He drew back the curtain to satisfy his senses
on the occasion of this extraordinary noise. But the light in the
chimney corner had gone out, and he soon heard a feeble and mel-
ancholy voice calling Blanche with anxious and importunate repe-
titions. Then did the suggestions of his jealousy transport him
into rage. His insulted honor obliged him to rush from the bed to
which he had so long aspired, and either to prevent a meditated
injury or take vengeance for its perpetration, he caught up his
SAvord and flew forward in the direction whence the voice seemed to
proceed. He felt a naked blade opposed to his own. As he
advanced, his antagonist retired. The pursuit became more eager,
the retreat more precipitate. Hia search was vigilant, and every
204 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS..
corner of the room seemed to contain its object but that which he
momentarily occupied. The darkness, liowever, favored the un-
known invader, and he was nowhere to be found. The pursuer
halted. He listened but heard no sound. It seemed like enchant-
ment 1 He made for the door, under the idea that this was the out-
let to the secret assassin of his honor, yet the bolt was shut as fast
as before. Unable to comprehend this strange occurrence, he called
those of his retinue who were most within reach of his voice. As
he opened the door for this purpose, he placed himself so as to pre-
vent all egress, and stood upon his guard, lest the devoted victim of
his search should escape.
" At his redoubled cries, some servants ran with lights. He laid
hold of a taper and renewed his search in the chamber with his
sword still drawn. Yet he found no one there, nor any apparent
sign of any person having been in the room. He was not aware of
any private door, nor could he discover any practicable mode of
escape; yet, for all this, he could not shut his eyes against the
nature and circumstance of his misfortune. His thoughts were all
thrown into inextricable confusion. To ask any questions of
Blanche was in vain, for she had too deep an interest in perplexing
the truth, to furnish any clew whatever to its discovery. He there-
fore adopted the measure of unbosoming his griefs to Leontio ; but
previously sent away his attendants with the excuse that he thought
he had heard some noise in the room, but was mistaken. His father-
in-law, having left his chamber in consequence of this strange dis-
turbance, met him, and heard from his lips the particulars of this
unaccountable adventure. The narrative was accompanied with
every indication of extreme agony, produced by deep and tender
feeling, as well as by a sense of insulted honor.
"Siffredi was surprised at the occurrence. Though it did not
appear to him at all probable, that was no reason for being easy
about its reality. The king's passion might accomplish anything;
and that idea alone justified the most cruel apprehensions. But it
could do no good to foster either the natural jealousy of his son-in-
law, or his particular suspicions arising out of circumstances. He,
therefore, endeavored to persuade him, with an air of confidence,
that this imaginary voice, and airy sword opposed to his substantial
one, were, and could possibly be but the gratuitous creations of a
fancy, under the influence of amorous distrust. It was morally
impossible that any person should have ma<le his way into his
daughter's chamber. With regard to the melancholy so visible in
his wife's deportment, it might very naturally be attributed to pre-
carious health and delicacy of constitution. The honor of a husband
need not be so tremblingly alive to all the qualms of maiden fear
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 205
and inexperience. Change of condition in the case of a girl habitu-
ated to live almost without human society, and abruptly consigned
to the embraces of a man in whom love and previous acquaintance
had not inspired confidence, might innocently be the cause of these
tears, of these sighs, and of this lively afiiiction so irksome to his
feelings. But it was to be considered that tenderness, especially in
the hearts of young ladies, fortified by the pride of blood against
the excesses of love-sick abandonment, was only to be cherished
into a flame by time and assiduity. He, therefore, exhorted him to
tranquillize his disturbed mind ; to be ardently officious in redoub-
ling every instance of aiFection ; to create a soft and seducing interest
in the sensibility of Blanche. In short, he besought him earnestly
to return to her apartment, and labored to persuade him that hia
distrust and confusion would only set her on an unconjugal and
litigious defence of her insulted virtue.
" The constable returned no answer to the argument of his father-
in-law, whether because he began to think in good earnest that hia
senses were imposed on by the disorder of his mind, or because he
thought it more to the purpose to dissemble than to undertake
ineffectually to convince the old man of an intent so devoid of all
likelihood. He returned to his wife's chamber, laid himself down
by her side, and endeavored to obtain from sleep some relief from
hia extreme uneasiness. Blanche, on her part, the unhappy Blanche,
was not a whit more at her ease. Her ears had been but too open
to the same alarming sounds which had assailed her husband's
peace ; nor could she construe into illusion an adventure of which
she well knew the secret and the motive. She was surprised that
Enriquez should attempt to find his way into her apartment, after
having pledged his faith so solemnly to the Princess Constance.
Instead of feeding her soul with vanity, or deriving any flattering
omens from a proceeding fraught with personal tenderness, but
destructive to self-approbation, she considered it as a new insult, and
her heart was only so much the more exasperated with resentment
against the author.
" While Siffredi's daughter, with all her prejudices excited against
the young king, believed him the most guilty of men, that unhappy
prince, more than ever ensnared by Blanche, was anxious for an
interview, to satisfy her mind on a subject which seemed to make
80 much against him. For that purpose he would have visited Bel-
monte sooner, but for a press of business too urgent to be neglected ;
nor could he withdraw himself from the court before that night.
He was perfectly at home in all the turnings of a place where he
had been brought up, and, therefore, was at no loss to slip into the
castle of Siflfredi. Nay, he was still in possession of the key to a
\
206 ADVELWTVRES OF GIL BLAS.
secret door communicating with the gardens. By this inlet did he
gain his former apartment, and there found his way into Blanche's
chamber. Only conceive what must have been the astonishment of
that prince to find a man in possession, and to feel a sword opposed
to his guard ! He was just on the point of betraying all, and of
punishing the rebel on the very spot, whose sacrilegious hand had
dared to lift itself against the person of its lawful sovereign. But
then the delicacy due to the daughter of Leontio held his indig-
nation in check. He retreated in the same direction as he had
advanced, and regained the Palermo road, in more distress and per-
plexity than ever. Getting home some little time before daybreak,
his apartment afforded him the most quiet retreat. But his thoughts
were all on the road back to Belmonte, the resting-place of his affec-
tions. A sense of honor ; in a word, love with all its pretensions
and surmises, would never allow him to delay an explanation,
involving all the circumstances of so strange and melancholy an
adventure.
" As soon as it was daylight he gave out that he was going on a
hunting expedition Under cover of sporting, his huntsmen and a
chosen party of his courtiers penetrated into the forest of Belmonte
under his direction. The chase was followed for some time, as a
blind to his real design. When he saw the whole party eagerly
driving on, and wholly engrossed b)"^ the sport, he galloped off in a
different direction, and struck, without any attendants, into the
road towards Leontio's castle. The various tracks of the forest
were too well known to him to admit of his losing his way. His
Impatience, too, would not allow him to take any thought of his
horse, so that the moments scarcely flitted faster than his expedition
in leaving" behind him the distance which separated him from the
object of his love. His very soul was on the rack for some plausible
excuse to plead for a private interview with Siffredi's daughter,
when, crossing a narrow path just at the park gate, he observed two
women sitting close by him, in earnest conversation, under the
shelter of a tree. It might well be supposed that these females
belonged to the castle ; and even that probability was sufiicient to
rouse an interest in him. But his emotion was heightened into a
feeling beyond his reason to control, for these ladies happened to
look round on hearing the trot of a horse advancing in that direc-
tion, when at once he recognized his dear Blanche. The fact was,
she had made her escape from the castle with Nisa, the person of
all others among her women most in her confidence, that she might
at least have the satisfaction of weeping over her misfortunes with-
out intrusion or restraint.
" He flew, and seemed rather to throw himself headlong than to
ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 207
fall at her feet. But when he beheld in the expression of her
countenance every mark of the deepest affliction, his heart was
softened. * Lovely Blanche,' said he, * do not, let me entreat you,
give way to the emotions of your grief. Appearances, I own, must
represent me as guilty in your eyes, but when you shall be made
acquainted with my project in your behalf, what you consider as a
crime will be transformed in your thoughts into a proof of my inno-
cence, and an evidence of my unparalleled affection.' These words,
calculated, according to the views of Enriquez, to allay the grief of
Blanche, served only to redouble her affliction. Fain would she
have answered, but her sobs stifled her *utterance. The prince,
thunderstruck at the death-like agitation of her frame, addressed
her thus: 'What, madam, is there no possibility of tranquillizing
your agitation? By what sad mischance have I lost your confi-
dence, at the very moment when my crown and even my life are
at stake, in consequence of my resolution to hold myself engaged
to you ?' At this suggestion the daughter of Leontio, doing violence
to her own feelings, but thinking it necessary to explain herself,
said to him : * My liege, your assurances are no longer admissible.
My destiny and yours are henceforward as far asunder as the poles.'
*Ahl Blanche,' interrupted Enriquez with impatience, 'what cut-
ting words are these, too painful for my sense of hearing ? Who
dares step in between our loves? Who would venture to stand
forward against the headlong rage of a king who would kindle all
Sicily into a conflagration, rather than suffer you to be ravished
from his long-chferished hopes V ' All your power, my liege, great
as it is,' replied the daughter of Siffredi in a tone of melancholy,
' becomes inefficient against the obstacles in the way of our union.
I know not how to tell it you, but ... I am married to the con-
stable.'
" ' Married to the constable I' exclaimed the prince, starting back
to some distance from her. He could proceed no further in his
discourse, so completely was he thunderstruck at the intelligence.
Overwhelmed by this unexpected blow, he felt his strength forsake
him. His unconscious limbs laid themselves without his guidance
against a trunk of a tree just behind him. His countenance was
pallid, his whole frame in a tremor, his mind bewildered, and his
spirits depressed. With no sense or faculty at liberty but that of
gazing, and there every power of his soul was suspended on Blanche,
he made her feel most poignantly how he himself was agonized by
the fatal event she had announced. The expression of countenance
on her part was such as to show him that her emotions were not
uncongenial with his own. Thus did these two distressed lovers
for a time preserve a silence towards each other, which portended
208 ADVENTUHES OF OIL liLAS.
something of terror in its calmness. At length the prince, recover-
ing a little from his disorder by an effort of courage, resumed the
discourse, and said to Blanche with a sigh, ' Madam, what have you
done ? You have destroyed me, and involved yourself in the same
ruin by your credulity.'
" Blanche was offended at the seeming reproaches of the king,
when the strongest grounds of complaint were apparently on her
side. ' What 1 my lord,' answered she, ' do you add dissimulation
to infidelity ? Would you have me reject the evidence of my own
eyes and ears, so as to believe you innocent in spite of their report?
No, my lord, I will own* to you such an effort of abstraction is not
in my power.' ' And yet, madam,' replied the king, * these witnesses
by whose testimony you have been so fully convinced are but im-
postors. They have been in a conspiracy to betray you. It is no
less the fact that I am innocent and faithful than it is true that you
are married to the constable.' ' What is it you say, my lord ?' re-
plied she. ' Did I not overhear you confirming the pledge of your
hand and heart to Constance ? Have you not bound yourself to the
nobility of the realm, and undertaken to comply with the will of
the late king? Has not the princess received the homage of your
new subjects as their queen, and in quality of bride to Prince Enri-
quez? Were my eyes then fascinated? Tell me, tell me rather,
traitor, that Blanche was weighed as dust in the balance of your
heart, when compared with the attractions of a throne ! Without
lowering yourself so far as to assume what you no longer feel, and
what perhaps you never felt, own at once that the crown of Sicily
appeared a more tenable possession with Constance than with the
daughter of Leontio. You are in the right, my lord. My title to
an illustrious throne, and to the heart of a prince like you, stands
on an equally precarious footing. It was vanity in the extreme to
prefer a claim to either ; but you ought not to have drawn me on
into error. You will recollect what alarms were my portion at the
very thought of losing you, of which I had almost a supernatural
foreboding. Why did you lull my apprehensions to sleep? To
what purpose was that delusive mockerj'^ ? I might else have accused
Fate rather than yourself, and you would at least have retained an
interest in my heart, though unaccompanied by a hand which no
other suitor could ever have obtained. As we are now circum-
stanced, your justification is out of season. I am married to the
constable. To relieve me from the continuance of an interview
which casts a shade over my purity, hitherto unsullied, permit me,
my lord, without failing in due respect, to withdraw from the pres-
ence of a prince to whose addresses I am even no longer at liberty
to listen.'
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 209
" With these words she darted away from Enriquez in as hurried
a step as the agitation of her spirits would allow. * Stop; madam,'
exclaimed he ; ' drive not to despair a prince inclined to overturn a
throne which you reproach him for having preferred to yourself,
rather than yield to the importunities of his new subjects.' * That
sacrifice is under present circumstances superfluous,' rejoined
Blanche. ' The bond must be broken between the constable and
me, before any effect can be produced by these generous transports.
Since I am not my own mistress, little would it avail that Sicily
should be embroiled, nor does it concern me to whom you give your
hand. If I had betrayed my own weakness, and suffered my heart
to be surprised, at least shall I muster fortitude enough to suppress
every soft emotion, and prove to the new king of Sicily, that the
wife of the constable is no longer the mistress of Prince Enriquez.'
While this conversation was passing, they reached the park gate.
With a sudden spring she and Nisa got within the walls. As they
took care to fasten the wicket after them, the prince was left in a
state of melancholy and stupefaction. He could not recover from
the stunning sensation occasioned by the intelligence of Blanche's
marriage. ' Unjust may I well call you !' exclaimed he. 'You have
buried all remembrance of our solemn engagement ! Spite of my
protestations and your own, our fates are rent asunder ! The long-
cherished hope of possessing those charms was an empty phantom I
Ah ! cruel as you are, how dearly have I purchased the distinction
of compelling you to acknowledge the constancy of my love 1'
"At that moment his rival's happiness, heightened by the coloring
of jealousy, presented itself to his mind in all the horrors of that
frantic passion. So arbitrary was its sway over him for some mo-
ments, that he was on the point of sacrificing the constable, and
even Siffredi, to his blind vengeance. Eeason, however, calmed by
little and little the violence of his transports. And yet the obvious
impossibility of effacing from the mind of Blanche her natural con-
viction of his infidelity, reduced him to despair. He flattered him-
self with weaning her from her prejudices, could he but converse
with her secure from interruption. To attain this end, it seemed
the most feasible plan to get rid of the constable. He, therefore,
determined to have him arrested, as a person suspected of treason-
able designs in the then unsettled state of public affairs. The com-
mission was given to the captain of his guard, who went immediately
to Belmonte, secured the person of his prisoner just as the evening
wjis closing in, and carried him to the castle of Palermo,
" This occurrence spread an alarm at Belmonte. Siffredi took his
departure forthwith, to offer his own responsibility to the king for
the innocence of his son-in-law, and to represent in their true colors
14
210 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
the unpleasant consequences attending such arbitrary exertions of
power. The prince, who had anticipated such a proceeding on the
part of hia minister, and was determined at least to secure himself
a free interview with Blanche before the release of the constable,
had expressly forbidden any one to address him till the next day.
But Leontio, setting this prohibition at defiance, contrived so well
as to make his way into the king's chamber. ' My Uege,' said he,
with an air of humility tempered with firmness, * if it is allowable
for a subject full of respect and loyalty to complain of his master,
I have to arraign you before the tribunal of your own conscience.
What crime has my son-in-law committed? Haa your majesty
sufficiently reflected what an everlasting reproach is entailed on my
family? Are the consequences of an imprisonment calculated to
disgust all the most important officers of the state with the service,
a matter of indifference V ' I have undoubted information,' answered
the king, ' that the constable holds a criminal correspondence with
the Infant Don Pedro.' ' A criminal correspondence 1' interrupted
Leontio, with surprise. 'Ah! my liege, give no ear to the surmise.
Your majesty is played upon. Treason never gained a footing in
the family of Siffredi. It is sufficient security for the constable
that he is my son-in-law, to place him above all suspicion. The
constable is innocent ; but private motives have been the occasion
of your arresting him.'
" ' Since you speakto me so openly,' replied the king, ' I will adopt
the same sincerity with you. You complain of the constable's im-
prisonment I Be it so. And have I no reason to complain of your
cruelty ? It is you, barbarous Siffredi, who have wrested my tran-
quillity from me, and reduced your sovereign, by your officious cares,
to envy the lowliest of the human race. For do not so far deceive
yourself as to believe that I shall ever enter into your views. My
marriage with Constance is quite out of the question.' . . . . ' What,
my liege,' interrupted Leontio, with an expression of horror, ' is
there any doubt about your marrying the princess, after having flat-
tered her with that hope in the face of your whole people?' ' If their
wishes are disappointed,' replied the king, ' take the credit to your-
self. Wherefore did you reduce me to the necessity of giving them
a promise my heart would not allow me to make good? Where was
the occasion to fill up with the name of Constance an instrument de-
signed for the elevation of your own daughter? You could not be
a stranger to my design ; need you have completed your tyranny by
devoting Blanche to the arms of a man to whom she could not give
her heart? And what authority have you over mine to dispose of
it in favor of a princess whom I detest? Have you forgotten that
she is the daughter of that cruel Matilda, who, trampling the rights
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 211
of consanguinity and human nature under foot, caused my father to
breathe his last under all the rigors of a hard captivity ? And should
I marry her I No, Siffredi, throw away that hope. Before the lurid
torch of such an hymeneal shall be kindled in your presence, you
shall behold all Sicily in flames, and the expiring embers quenched
in blood.'
" ' Do not my ears deceive me ?' exclaimed Leontio. ' Ah I Sover-
eign, what a scene do you present me with I Who can hear such
menaces without shuddering ? But I am too forward to take alarm,'
continued he, in an altered voice. ' You are in too close a union
with your subjects to be the instrument of a catastrophe so melan-
choly. You will not suffer passion to triumph over your reason.
Virtues like yours shall never lose their lustre by the tarnish of
human and ordinary weakness. If I had given my daughter into
the arms of the constable, it was with the design, my liege, of secur-
ing to your majesty a powerful subject, able by his own valor, and
the army under his command, to maintain your party against that
of the Prince Don Pedro. It appeared to me that by connecting
him with my family in so close a bond' .... * Yes, yes ! This bond,'
exclaimed Prince Enriquez, ' this fatal bond has been my ruin. Un-
feeling friend, to aim a wound at my vital part ! What commission
had you to take care of my interests at the expense of my affections ?
Why did you not leave me to support my pretensions by my own
arm? Was there any question about my courage, that I should be
thought incompetent to reduce my rebellious subjects to their obedi-
ence ? Means might have been found to punish the constable had
he dared to have fallen off from his allegiance ! I am well aware of
the difference between a lawful king and an arbitrary tyrant. The
happiness of our people is our first duty. But are we, on the other
hand, to be the slaves of our subjects ? From the moment when we
are selected by Heaven for our high office, do we lose the common
privilege of nature, the birthright of the human race, to dispose of
our affections in whatsoever current they flow ? Well, then I If we
are less our own masters than the lowest of the human race, take
back, Siffredi, that sovereign authority you affect to have secured to
me by the wreck of my personal happiness.'
" ' You cannot but be acquainted, my liege,' replied the minister,
' that it was on your marriage with the princess, the late king, your
uncle, made the succession of the crown to depend.' ' And- by what
right,' rejoined Enriquez, ' did even he assume to himself so arbitrary
a disposition ? Was it on such unworthy terms that he succeeded
his brother, King Charles? How came you yourself to be so besot-
ted as to allow of a stipulation so unjust? For a high chancellor,
you are not too well versed in our laws and constitutions. To cut
212 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
the matter short, though I have promised my hand to Constance, the
engagement was not voluntary. I do not, therefore, think myself
bound to keep my word ; and if Don Pedro founds on my refusal any
hope of succeeding to the throne without involving the nation in a
bloody and destructive contest, his error will be too soon visible. The
sword shall decide between us to whom the prize of empire may
more worthily fall.' Leontio could not venture to press him further,
and confined himself to supplicating on his knees for the liberty of
his son-in-law. That boon he obtained. ' Go,' said the king to him,
' return to Belmonte, the constable shall follow you thither without
delay.' The minister departed, and made the best of his way to Bel-
monte, under the persuasion that his son-in-law would overtake him
on the road. In this he was mistaken. Enriquez was determined
to visit Blanche that night, and with such views he deferred the en-
largement of her husband till the next morning.
" During this time the feelings of the constable were of the most
agonizing nature. His imprisonment had opened his eyes to the
real cause of his misfortune. He gave himself up to jealousy with-
oiit restraint or remorse, and belieing the good faith which had
hitherto rendered his character so valuable, his thoughts were all
bent on his revenge. As he conjectured rightly that the king would
not fail to reconnoitre Blanche's apartment during the night, it was
his object to surprise them together. He, therefore, besought the gov-
ernor of the castle at Palermo to allow of his absence from the
prison, on the assurance of his return before daybreak. The gover-
nor, who was devoted to his interest, gave his permission so much
the more easily, as being already advertised that Siffredi had pro-
cured his liberty. Indeed he even went so far as to supply him
with a horse for his journey to Belmonte. The constable on his
arrival there fastened his horse to a tree. He then got into the park
by a little gate of which he had the key, and was lucky enough to
slip into the castle without being recognized by any one. On
reaching his wife's apartment, he concealed himself in the ante-
chamber, behind a screen plac^ as if expressly for his use. His
intention was to observe narrowly what was going forward, and to
present himself on the sudden in Blanche's chamber at the sound of
any footstep he should hear. The first object he beheld was Nisa,
taking leave of her mistress for the night, and withdrawing to a
closet where she slept.
" Siffredi's daughter, who had been at no loss to fathom the mean-
ing of her husband's imprisonment, was fully convinced that he
would not return to Belmonte that night, although she had heard
from her father of the king's assurance that the constable should set
out immediately after him. As little could she doubt but Enriquez
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 213
would avail himself of the interval to see and converse with her at
his pleasure. With this expectation she awaited the prince's arri-
val, to reproach him for a line of conduct so pregnant with fatal
consequences to herself. As she had anticipated, a very short time
after Nisa had retired, the sliding panel opened, and the king threw
himself at the feet of his beloved. ' Madam,' said he, ' condemn me
not without a hearing. It is true I have occasioned the constable's
imprisonment, but then consider that it was the only method left
me for my justification. Attribute, therefore, that desperate strata-
gem to yourself alone. Why did you refuse to listen to ray expla-
nation this morning? Alas I to-morrow your husband will be
liberated, and I shall no longer have an opportunity of addressing
you. Hearken to me then for the last time. If the loss of you has
embittered the remainder of my days, vouchsafe me at least the mel-
ancholy satisfaction of convincing you that I have not called down
this misfortune on myself by my own inconstancy. I did indeed
confirm the pledge of my hand to Constance, but then it was un-
avoidable in the situation to which your father's policy had reduced
us. It was necessary to put this imposition on the princess for your
interest and for my own ; to secure to you your crown, and with it
the hand and heart of your devoted lover. I had flattered myself
with the prospect of success. Measures were already taken to super-
sede that engagement, but you have destroyed the bright illusions
of my fancy ; and, by disposing of yourself too precipitately, have
antedated an eternity of torment for two hearts, whom a mutual and
perfect love might have conducted to perpetual bliss.'
" He concluded this explanation with such evident marks of un-
feigned agony, that Blanche was affected by his words. She had no
longer any hesitation about his innocence. At first her joy was
unbounded at the conviction ; but then again a sense of their cruel
circumstances gained the ascendency over her mind. 'Ah! my
honored lord,' said she to the prince, * after such a determination of
our destinies, you only inflict a new pang by informing me that you
were not to blame. What have I done, wretched as I am I My keen
resentment has betrayed me into error. I fancied myself cast off*;
and in the moment of my anger, accepted the hand of the constable,
whose addresses my father promoted. But the crime is all my own,
though the woes are mutual. Alas 1 In the very conjuncture when I
accused you of deceiving me, it was my own act, too credulously
impassioned as I was, that the ties were broken, which I had sworn
forever to make indissoluble. Take your revenge, my lord, in your
turn. Indulge your hatred against the ungrateful Blanche. . . .
Forget.' . . . 'What! and is it in my power then, madam?' inter-
rupted Enriquez with a dejected air : ' how is it possible to tear a
214 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
passion from my heart, which even your injustice had not the power
of extinguishing?' ' Yet it becomes necessary for you to make tliat
effort, my liege,' replied the daughter of Siffredi, with a deep sigh.
. . . 'And shall you be equal to that effort yourself?' replied the
king. ' I am not confident with myself for my success,' answered
she : * but I shall spare no pains in the attainment of my object.'
' Ah I unfeeling fair one,' said the prince, ' you will easily banish
Enriquez from your remembrance, since you can contemplate such
a purpose so steadfastly.' ' Whither, then, does your imagination
lead?' said Blanche, in a more decided tone. ' Do you flatter your-
self that I can permit the continuance of your tender assiduities?
No, my lord ; banish that hope forever from your thoughts. If I
was not born for royalty, neither has Heaven formed me to be de-
graded by illicit addresses. My husband, like yourself, my liege, is
allied to the noble house of Anjou. Though the call of duty were
less peremptcTry, in opposing an insurmountable obstacle to your
insidious proposals, a sense of pride would hinder me from admit-
ting them. I conjure you to withdraw ; we must meet no more.'
' What a barbarous sentence 1' exclaimed the king. 'Ah ! Blanche,
is it possible that you should treat me with so much severity ? Is it
not enough, then, to weigh me down, that the constable should be
in possession of your charms ? And yet you would cut me oS* from
the bare sight of you, the only comfort which remains to me I'
'For that very reason avoid my presence,' answered Siffredi's
daughter, not without some tears of tenderness. ' The contempla-
tion of what we have dearly loved is no longer a blessing, when we
have lost all hope of the possession. Adieu, my lord ! Shun my
very image. You owe that exertion to your own honor and to my
good name. I claim it also for my own peace of mind : for to deal
sincerely, though my virtue should be steady enough to combat
with the suggestions of my heart, the very remembrance of youc
affection stirs up so cruel a conflict, that it is almost too much for
my frail nature to support the shock.'
" Her utterance of these words was attended with so energetic an
action, as to overset the light placed on a table behind her, and its
fall left the room in darkness. Blanche picked it up. She then
opened the door of the ante-chamber, and went to Nisa's closet,
who was not yet gone to bed, for th« purpose of lighting it again.
She was now returning, after having accomplished her errand. The
king, who was waiting for her impatiently, no sooner saw her ap-
proach, than he resumed his ardent plea with her, to allow of his
attentions. At the prince's voice, the constable rushed impetuously,
sword in hand, into the room, almost at the same moment with his
bride. Advancing up to Enriquez with all the indignation which
Don Raphael.
p. 216.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 215
Ms fury kindled within him : ' This is too much, tyrant !' cried he ;
* flatter not yourself that I am cowardly enough to bear this affront
which you have offered to my honor.' ' Ay ! traitor,' answered the
king, standing on his guard, ' lay aside the vain imagination of being
able to compass your purpose with impunity.' With these mutual
taunts, they entered on a conflict, too violent to be long undecided.
The constable, fearing lest Siffredi and his attendants should be roused
too soon by the piercing shrieks of Blanche, and should interpose
between him and his revenge, took no care of himself. His frenzy
robbed him of all skill. He fenced so heedlessly, as to run headlong
on his adversary's sword. The weapon entered his body up to the
hilt. He fell ; and the king instantaneously checked his hand.
" The daughter of Leontio, touched at her husband's condition, and
rising superior to her natural repugnance, threw herself on the
ground, and was anxious to afford him every assistance. But that
ill-fated bridegroom was too deeply prejudiced against her, to allow
himself to be softened by the evidences she gave of her sorrow and
her pity. Death, whose hand he felt upon him, could not trifle the
transports of his jealousy. In these his last moments, no image
presented itself to his mind but his rival's success. So insufferable
was that idea to him, that, collecting together the little strength he
had left, he raised his sword, which he still grasped convulsively,
and plunged it deep in Blanche's bosom, ' Die,' said he, as he in-
flicted the fatal wound ; ' die, faithless bride, since the ties of wed-
lock were not strong enough to preserve to me the vow which you
had sworu upon the altar I And as for you, Enriquez,' pursued he,
' triumph not too loudly on your destinies. You are prevented from
taking advantage of my froward fortune; and I die content.'
Scarcely did these words quiver on his lips, when he breathed his
last. His countenance, overcast as it was with the shades of death,
had still something in it of fierceness and of terror. That of Blanche
presented a quite different aspect. The wound which she had re-
ceived was mortal. She fell on the scarcely breathing body of her
husband ; and the blood of the innocent victim flowed in the same
stream with that of her murderer, who had executed his cruel purpose
80 suddenly that the king could not prevent it from taking effect.
" This ill-fated prince uttered a cry at the sight of Blanche as she
fell. Pierced deeper than herself by the stab which deprived her
of life, he did his utmost to afford the same relief to her as she had
offered, though at so fatal an expense, to one who might have re-
warded her better. But she addressed him in these words, while
the last breath quivered on her lips : ' My lord, your assiduities are
fruitless ; I am the victim. Merciless Fate demands me, and I re-
sign myself to death. May the anger of Heaven be appeased'by
216 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
the sacrifice, and the prosperity of your reign be confirmed.' As
she was with difficulty uttering these last words, Leontio, drawn
thither by the reverberation of her shrieks, came into the room,
and, thunderstruck at the dreadful scene before him, remained fixed
to the spot where he stood. Blanche, without noticing his presence,
went on addressing herself to the king. ' Farewell, prince,' said
she ; ' cherish my memory with the tenderness it deserves. My
affection and my misfortunes entitle me at least to that. Harbor
no aversion to my father: he is innocent. Be a comfort to his re-
maining days; assuage his grief ; acknowledge his fidelity. Above
all, convince him of my spotless virtue. With this I charge you,
before every other consideration. Farewell, my dear Enriquez. . . .
I am dying. . . . Receive my last sigh.'
" Here her words were interrupted by the approach of death. For
some time, the king maintained a sullen silence. At length he said
to Siffredi, whose senses seemed to be locked up in a mortal trance :
* Behold, Leontio ; feed on the contemplation of your own work. In
this tragical event, you may ruminate on the issues of your officious
cares, and your overweening zeal for my service.' The old man
returned no answer, so deeply was he penetrated by his affliction.
But wherefore dwell on the description of circumstances, when the
powers of language must sink under the weight of such a catas-
trophe? Suffice it to say, that they mutually poured forth their
sorrows in the most affecting terms, as soon as their grief allowed
them to give vent to its effusions in speech.
" Through the whole course of his life, the king cherished a ten-
der recollection of his mistress. He could not bring himself to marry
Constance. The Infant Don Pedro combined with that princess,
and, by their joint efforts, an obstinate attempt was made to carry
the will of Roger into execution ; but they were compelled in the
end to give way to Prince Enriquez, who gained the ascendency
over all his enemies. As for Sifiredi, the melancholy he contracted
from having been the cause of destruction to his dearest friends
gave him a disgust to the world, and made a longer abode in his
native country insupportable. He turned his back on Sicily for
ever ; and, coming over into Spain with Portia, his surviving daugh-
ter, purchased this mansion. He lived nearly fifteen years after the
death of Blanche, and had the consolation, before his own death, of
establishing Portia in the world. She married Don Jerome de
Silva, and I am the only issue of that marriage. Such," pursued
the widow of Don Pedro de Pinares, " is the story of my family— a
faithful recital of the melancholy events represented in that picture,
which was painted by order of my grandfather, Leontio, as a record
to his posterity of the fatal adventure I have related."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS, 217
CHAPTEE V.
THE BEHAVIOR OF AURORA DE GUZMAN ON HER ARRIVAL AT
SALAMANCA.
ORTIZ, her companions, and myself, after having heard this
tale, withdrew together from the hall, where we left Aurora
with Elvira. There they lengthened out the remainder of the day
in a mutual intercourse of confidence. They were not likely to be
weary of each other, -and on the following morning, when we took
our leave, there was as much to do to part them, as if they had
been two friends brought up in the closest habits of confidence and
affection.
In due time we .reached Salamanca without any impediment.
There we immediately engaged a ready-furnished house, and Dame
Ortiz, as it had been before agreed, assumed the name of Donna
Kimena de Guzman. She had played the part of a duenna too
long not to be able to shift her character according to circum-
stances. One .morning she went out with Aurora, a waiting-maid,
and a man-servant, and betook herself to a lodging-house, where
we had been informed that Pacheco most commonly took up his
abode. She asked if there was any lodging to be let there. The
answer was in the afiirmative, and they showed her into a room in
very neat condition, which she hired. She paid down earnest to
the landlady, telling her that it was for one of her nephews who
was coming from Toledo to finish his studies at Salamanca, and
might be expected on that very day.
The duenna and my mistress, after having made sure of this
apartment, went back the way they came, and the lovely Aurora,
without the loss of time, metamorphosed herself into a spruce young
spark. She concealed her black ringlets under a braid of light-
colored hair, the better to disguise herself ; . . . manufactured her
eyebrows to correspond, and dressed herself up in such a costume
as to look for all the world as if her sex were of a piece with her
appearance. Her deportment was free and easy ; so that, with the
exception of her face, which was somewhat more delicate than be-
came the manly character, there was nothing to lead to a discovery
of her masquerading. The waiting-woman who was to officiate as
page got into her paraphernalia at the same time, and we had no
apprehension respecting her competency to perform her part. There
was no danger of her beauty telling any tales ; and, besides, she
could put on as brazen-faced a swagger as the most impudent dog
in town. After dinner, our two actresses, finding themselves in cue
218 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
to make their first appearance on the stage, where the scene was
laid in the ready-furnished lodging, took me along with them. We
all three placed ourselves in the coach, and carried with us all the
biiggage we were likely to have occasion for.
The landlady, Bernarda Ramirez by name, welcomed us with
great civility, and led the way to our room, where we began to
make our arrangements with her. We concluded a bargain for our
board by the month, which she undertook should be suitable to our
condition. Then we asked if she had her complement of boarders.
"I have none at all at present," answered she. "Not that there
would be any want of enough, if I was of the mind to take in all
sorts of people ; but young men of fashion are the thing for me. I
expect one of that description this morning : he is coming hither
from Madrid to complete his education. Don Lewis Pacheco ! But
you must have heard of him before now." " No," said Aurora, " I
have no acquaintance whatever with the gentleman ; and since we
are to be inmates together, you will do me a kindness by letting me
a little into his character." " Please your honor," replied the land-
lady, leering at this outside of a man, " his figure is as taking as
your own ; just the same sort of make, and about the same size. 0 1
how well you will do together ! By St. James, though I say it who
should not say it, I shall have about me two of the prettiest young
fellows in all Spain," " Well, but about Don Lewis I" for my mis-
tress was in a fidget to ask the grand question. " Of course ; . . .
he is well with the ladies in your parts ! Enough of ... of love
afiairs ... on his hands I" " O ! do not you be afraid of that,"
rejoined the old lady ; " it is a forward sprig of gallantry, take my
word for it. He has but to show himself before the works, and the
citadel sends to capitulate. Among the number of his conquests,
he has got into the good graces of a lady, with as much youth and
beauty as he will know what to do with. Her name is Isabella.
Her father is an old doctor of laws. She is over head and ears in
love with him; absolutely out of her wits!" "Well, but do tell
me now, my dear little woman," interrupted Aurora, as if she was
ready to burst, " is he out of his wits too ?" " He used to be very
fond of her," answered Bernarda Ramirez, " before'he went last to
Madrid, but whether he holds in the same mind still, I will not
venture to say ; because on these points he is not altogether to be
trusted. He is apt to flirt, first with one woman, and then with
another, just as all you young deceivers take pleasure in doing.
You are all alike !"
The good widow had scarcely got to the end of her harangue
before we heard a noise in the court. On looking out at the win-
dow, behold! there appeared two young men dismounting from
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 219
their steeds. Whom should it be but the identical Don Lewis Pa-
checo, just arrived from Madrid, with a servant behind him. The
old lady brushed off to go and usher him in ; while my mistress was
putting herself in order, not without some palpitation of heart, to
enact Don Felix to the best of her conceptions. , Without waiting
for any formalities, in marched Don Lewis to our apartment in his
travelling dress. " I have just been informed," said he, paying his
respects to Aurora, " that a young nobleman of Toledo takes up his
abode in this house. May I take the liberty of expressing my joy
in the circumstance, and hoping that we maybe better acquainted?"
During my mistress's reply to this compliment, it seemed to me as
if Pacheco did not know what to make of so smock-faced a young
spark. Indeed he could not refrain from declaring a more than
ordinary admiration of an air and figure so attractive. After abun-
dance of discourse, with every demonstration of reciprocal good
breeding, Don Lewis withdrew to the apartment provided for him.
While he was getting his boots off, and changing his dress and
linen, a sort of a page, on the look-out after him to deliver a letter,
met Aurora by chance on the staircase. Her he mistook for Don
Lewis. Thinking he had found the right owner for this tender
message, of which he was the Mercury, " Softly 1 my honored lord
and master," said he, " though I have not the honor of knowing
Signor Pacheco, there can be no occasion for asking whether you
are the man. It is impossible to be mistaken in the guess." "No,
my friend," answered my mistress with a most happy presence of
mind, " surely you are not mistaken. You acquit yourself of your
embassies to a marvel. I am Don Lewis Pacheco. You may retire 1
I will find an opportunity of sending an answer." The page van-
ished, and Aurora, shutting herself up with her waiting-maid and
me, opened the letter, and read to us follows : — " I have just heard
of your being at Salamanca. With what joy did I receive the
news ! I thought I should have gone out of my senses. But do
you love Isabella as well as ever ? Lose no time in assuring her
that you are still the same. In good truth, she will almost expire
with pleasure when once she is assured of your constancy."
" This is a mighty passionate epistle," said Aurora. " The heart
that indited it has been caught in a trap. This lady is a rival of
no mean capacity. No pains must be spared to wean Don Lewis
from her, and even to prevent any future interview. The under-
taking is diflBcult, I acknowledge, and yet there seems no reason to
despair of the result." My mistress, taking her own hint, fell into
a fit of musing ; from which, having recovered as soon as she fell
into it, she added : " I will lay a wager they are at daggers drawn
in less than twenty-four hours." It so happened that Pacheco, after
220 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
a short repose in his apartment, came to look after us in ours, and
entered once more into conversation with Aurora before supper.
" My dapper little knight," said he with a rakish air, " I fancy the
poor devils of husbands and lovers will have no reason to hug them-
selves on your arcival at Salamanca. You will make their hearts
ache for them. As for myself, I tremble for all my snug arrange-
ments." "I tell you what," answered my mistress with congenial
>l)irit, "your fears are not without their foundation. Don Felix de
Mendoza is rather formidable, so take care what you are about. This
is not my first visit in this country ; the ladies hereabout, to my
knowledge, are made of penetrable materials. About a month ago
my way happened to lie through this city. I halted for eight days,
and you are to know . . . but you must not mention it . . . that I
set fire to the daughter of an old doctor of laws."
It was evident enough that Don Lewis was disturbed by this de-
claration. " Might one without impropriety," replied he, "just ask
the lady's name?" "What do you mean by impropriety?" ex-
claimed the pretended Don Felix. " Why make any secret about
such a matter as that? Do you think me more of a Joseph than
other young noblemen of my standing? Have a better opinion of my
spirit. Besides, the object, between ourselves, is unworthy of any
great reserve, she is but a little mushroom of the lower ranks. A
man of fashion never quarrels with his conscience about such
obscure gallantries, and even thinks it an honor conferred on a
tradesman's wife or daughter when he leaves her without any. I'
shall, therefore, acquaint you in plain terms, that the name of the
doctor's daughter is Isabella." "And the doctor himself," inter-
rupted Pacheco impatiently ... "he possibly may be Signor
Murcia de la Liana?" " Precisely so," replied my mistress, " Here
is a letter sent me just now. Kead it, and then you will see how
deeply your humble servant has dipped into her good graces." Don
Lewis just cast his eye upon the note, and recognizing the hand-
writing, was struck dumb with astonishment and vexation. " What
is the matter?" cried Aurora, with an air of surprise, keeping up
the sph-it of her assumed character. " You change color I God
forgive me, but you are a party concerned in this young lady. Ah !
plague take my officious tongue for having opened my affairs to you
with so much frankness."
" I am very much obliged to you for it, for my own part," said Don
Lewis, in a transport made up of spite and rage. " Traitress ! Jilt !
My dear Don Felix, how shall I ever requite you ! You have re-
stored me to my senses when they were just on the wing for an
eternal flight. I was tickling myself into a fool's paradise of cred-
ulous love. But love is too cold a term to express my extravagancesn
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 221
I fancied myself adored by Isabella. The creature had wormed
herself into my heart by feigning to give me her own. But now I
know her clearly for a coquette, and as such despise her as she
deserves." " Your feelings on the occasion do you infinite credit,"
said Aurora, testifying a friendly sympathy in his resentment. " A
plodding pettifogger's worthless brood might have gorged to surfeit
on the love of a young nobleman so captivating as yourself. Her
fickleness is inexcusable. So far from taking her sacrifice of you in
good part, it is my determination to punish her by the keenest con-
tempt." "As for me," rejoined Pacheco, " I shall never set eyes on
her again ; and if that is not revenge, the devil is in it." " You are
in the right," exclaimed our masquerading Mendoza. "At the same
time, that she may fully understand how ineffably we both disdain
her, I vote for sitting down, each of us, and writing her a sarcastic
farewell. They shall be enclosed in one cover, and serve as an
answer to her own letter. But do not let us proceed to this ex-
tremity till you have examined your heart. It may be you will
repent hereafter having broken off with Isabella." " No, no," inter-
rupted Don Lewis : " I am not such a fool as that comes to ; let it
be a bargain, and we will mortify the ungrateful wretch as you
propose."
I immediately sent for pen, ink, and paper, when they sat them-
selves down at opposite corners of the table, and drew up a most
tender bill of indictment against Dr. Murcia de la Liana's daughter,
Pacheco, in particular, was at a loss for language forcible enough to
convey his sentiments in all their acrimony ; away went exordium
after exordium, to the tearing and maiming of five or six fair
sheets, before the words looked crooked enough to please his jealous
eyes. At length, however, he produced an epistle which came up
with his most tragical conceptions. It ran thus : " Self-knowledge
is a leading branch of wisdom, my little philosopher. As a candi-
date for a professor's chair, lay aside the vanity of fancying yourself
amiable. It requires merit of a far different compass to fix my
affections. You have not enough of the woman about you to afford
me even a temporary amusement. Yet do not despair ; you have a
sphere of your own ; the beggarly servitors in our university have a
keen appetite, but no very distinguishing palate." So much for this
elegant epistle ! When Aurora had finished hers, which rang the
changes on similar topics, she sealed them, wrapped them up
together, and giving me the packet, " There, Gil Bias," said she,
" take care that comes to Isabella's hands this very evening. You
comprehend me ?" added she, with a glance from the corner of her
eye which admitted of no doubtful construction. "Yes, my lord,"
answered I, " your commands shall be executed to a tittle."
222 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
I lost no time in taking my departure. I was no sooner in the
street than I said to myself, " 80 ho 1 Master Gil Bias, your part,
then, is that of the intriguing footman in this comedy. Well, so be
it, my friend ; show that you have wit and sense enough to top it
over the favorite actor of the day. Signer Don Felix thinks a wink
as good as a nod — a high compliment to the quickness of your appre-
hension I Is he, then, in an error? No. His hint is as clear as day-
light. Don Lewis's letter is to drop its companion by the way. A
lucid exposition of a dark hieroglyphic, enough to shame the dullness
of the commentators." The sacredness of a seal could never stand
against this bright discovery. Out came the single letter of Pa-
checo, and away went I to hunt after Doctor Murcia's abode. At
the very threshold, whom should I meet but the little page who had
been at our lodging. " Comrade," said I, " do not you happen to
live with the great lawyer's daughter?" His answer was in the
affirmative. " I see by your countenance," resumed I, " that you
know the ways of the world. May I beg the favor of you to slip
this little memorandum into your mistress's hand ?"
The little page asked me on whose behalf I was a messenger. The
name of Don Lewis Pacheco had no sooner escaped my lips than he
said to me, " Since that is the case, follow me ; I have orders to
show you up ; Isabella wants to confer with you." I was introduced
at once into a private apartment, where it was not long before the
lady herself made her appearance. The beauty of her face was in-
expressibly striking; I do not recollect to have seen more lovely
features. Her manner was somewhat mincing and infantine, and
yet for all that it had been thirty good years, at least, since she had
mewled and puked in her nurse's arms. " My friend," said she,
with an encouraging smile, " are you on Don Lewis Pacheco's estab-
lishment?" I told her I had been in office for three weeks. With
this I fired off my paper popgun against her peace. She read it over
two or three times, but if she had rubbed her eyes till doomsday, she
would have seen no clearer. In point of fact, nothing could be more
unexpected than so cavalier an answer. Up went her eyes towards
the heavens, appealing to their rival luminaries. The ivory fences
of her pretty mouth committed alternate trespass on her soft and
suffering lips, and her whole physiognomy bore witness to the pangs
of her distressed and disappointed heart. Then, coming to herself
a little, and recovering her speech, " My friend," said she, " has Don
Lewis taken leave of his senses? Tell me, if you can, his motive for
so heroic an epistle. If he is tired of me, well and good, but he
might have taken his leave like a gentleman."
" Madam," said I, " my master most assuredly has not acted as I
should have '^cted in his place. But he has in some sort been com-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLA8. 223
pelled to do as he has done. If you would give me your word to
keep the secret, I could unravel the whole mystery." " You have
it at once," interrupted she with eagerness ; " depend on it you
shall be brought into no scrape by me ; therefore, explain yourself
without reserve." " Well, then," replied I, " the fact is, without
paraphrase, circumlocution, loss of time, or perplexity of under-
standing, as I shall distinctly state in two short words. Not half a
minute after the receipt of your letter, there came into our house a
lady, under a veil as impenetrable as the purpose was dark. She
inquired for Signer Pacheco, and talked with him in private for
some time. At the close of the conversation, I overheard her saying
'You swear to me never to see her more; but we must not stop
there : to set my heart completely at rest, you must instantly write
her a farewell letter of my dictating. You know my terms.' Don
Lewis did as she desired ; then, giving the result into my custody,
'Acquaint yourself,' said he, 'where Doctor Murcia de la Liana
lives, and try to administer this love potion to his daughter
Isabella.'
"You see plainly, madam," pursued I, " that this uncivil epistle
is a rival's handiwork, and that, consequently, my master is not so
much to blame as he appears." " Oh, heaven !" exclaimed she, " he
is more so than I was aware of. His words might have been the
error of his hand, but his infidelity is the offence of his heart.
Faithless man ! Now he is held by other ties. . . . But," added she,
assuming an air of disdain, "let him devote himself unconstrained
to his new passion ; I shall never cross him. Tell him, however,
that he need not have insulted me. I should have left the course
open to my rival, without his warning me from the field ; for so
fickle a lover has not soul enough about him to pay for the degrada-
tion of soliciting his return." With this sentiment she gave me
my dismissal, and retired in a whirlwind of passion against Don
Lewis.
My exit was conducted entirely to my own satisfaction, for I con-
ceived that with due cultivation of my talent I might in time
become a consummate hypocrite and most successful cheat. I re-
turned home on the strength of it, where I found my worthy master
Mendoza and Pacheco supping together, and rattling away as if
they had been playfellows from their cradles. Aurora saw at once,
by my self-sufficient air, that her commission had not b'^en neglected
in my hands. "Here you are again, then, Gil Bias," said she;
"give us an account of your embassy." Wit and invention was all
I had to trust to, so I told them I had delivered the packet into
Isabella's own hands, who, after having glanced over the contents
of the two letters, so far from seeming disconcerted, burst into a fit
224 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
of laughter, as if she had been mad, and said, " Upon my word, our
young men of fashion write in a pretty style. It must be owned
they are much more entertaining than scribes of plebeian rank."
" It was a very good way of getting out of the scrape," exclaimed
my mistress; "she must bean arrant coquette," "For my part,"
said Don Lewis, " I cannot trace a feature of Isabella in this con-
duct. Her character must have been completely metamorphosed in
my absence." "She struck me, too, in a very different light,"
replied Aurora. " It must be allowed some women can assume all
modes and fashions at will. I was once in love with one of that
description, and a fine dance she led me. Gil Bias, can you tell the
whole story ? She had an air of propriety about her which might
have imposed upon a whole synod of old maids." " It is true," said
I, putting in my oar ; " it was a face to play the devil with a sworn
bachelor : I could scarcely have been proof against it myself."
The personated Mendoza and Pacheco shouted with laughter at
my manner of expressing myself; the one for the false witness I
bore against a culprit of my own creation ; the other laughed simply
at the phrase in which my anathema was couched. We went on
talking about the versatility of women ; and the verdict, after hear-
ing the evidence, all on one side, was given against Isabella — a
convicted coquette ! — and sentence passed on her accordingly. Don
Lewis made a fresh vow never to see her more, and Don Felix, after
his example, swore to hold her in eternal abhorrence. By dint of
these mutual protestations, a sort of friendship was established on
the spur of the occasion, and they promised on both sides to keep
no secrets from each other. The time after supper passed in ingra-
tiating intercourse, and the time seemed short till they retired to
their separate apartments. I followed Aurora to hers, where I gave
her a faithful account of my conversation with the doctor's daughter,
not forgetting the most trivial circumstance. She had much ado to
help kissing me for joy. " My dear Gil Bias," said she, " I am
delighted with your spirit. When one has the misfortune to be en-
gaged in a passion not to be gratified but by stratagems, what an
advantage is it to secure on the right side a lad of so enterprising a
genius as yourslf. Courage, my friend ! we have thrown a rival into
the back ground, whose presence in the scene might have marred
our comedy. So far, all is well. But as lovers are subject to strange
vagaries, it seems to me that we must make short work of it, and
bring Aurora de Guzman on the stage to-morrow." The idea met
with my entire approbation ; so, leaving Signor Don Felix with his
page, I withdrew to bed in an adjoining closet.
The Supper.
p. 224.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 225
CHAPTER VI.
aubora's devices to secure don lewis pacheco's affections.
THE two new friends met as soon as they came down in the
morning. The ceremonies of the day began with reciprocal em-
braces, about which it was impossible for Aurora to be squeamish,
for then Don Felix must have dropped the mask altogether. They
went out and walked about town arm in arm, attended by Chilin-
dron, Don Lewis's footman, and myself. We loitered about the gates
of the university, looking at some posting-bills and advertisements
of new publications. There were a good many people amusing
themselves, like us, with reading over the contents of these placards.
Among the rest, my eye was caught by a little fellow who was
giving his opinion very learnedly on the works exposed for sale.
I observed him to be heard with profound attention, and could not
help remarking how amply he deserved it in his own opinion. He
was evidently a complete coxcomb, of an arrogant and dictatorial
stamp, the common curse of your gentry under size. " This new
translation of Horace," said he, " announced here to the public in
letters of a yard long, is a prose work, executed by an old college
author. The students have taken a great fancy to the book, so as
to carry off four editions ; but not a copy has been bought by any
man of taste !" His criticisms were scarcely more candid on any of
the other books : he mauled them every one without mercy. It was
easy enough to see he was an author 1 I should not have been sorry
to have staid out his harangue, but Don Lewis and Don Felix were
not to be left in the lurch. Now, they took as little pleasure in this
gentleman's remarks as they felt interest in the books which he
was Scaligerizing, so that they took a quiet leave of him and the
university.
We returned home at dinner-time. My mistress sat down at
table with Pacheco, and dexterously turned the conversation on
her private concerns. " My father," said she, " is a younger branch
of the Mendoza family, settled at Toledo, and my mother is own
sister to Donna Kimena de Guzman, who came to Salamanca s<5me
days ago on an affair of business, with her niece Aurora, only
daughter of Don Vincent de Guzman, whom possibly you might
be acquainted with." " No," answered Don Lewis ; " but I have
often heard of him, as well as of your cousin Aurora. Is it true
what they say of her? Her wit and beauty are reported to be un-
rivalled." "As for wit," replied Don Felix, "she certainly is not
wanting, for she has taken great pains to cultivate her mind ; but
15
226 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
her beauty is by no means to be boasted of— indeed we are thought
to be very much alike." " If that is the case," exclaimed Pacheco,
"she cannot be behindhand with her reputation. Your features are
regular, your complexion almost too fine for a man : your cousin
must be an absolute enchantress. I should like to see and converse
with her." " That you shall, if I have any interest in the family,
and this very day, too," replied the little Proteus of a Mendoza.
" We will go and see ray aunt after dinner."
My mistress took the first opportunity of changing the topic and
conversing on indifferent subjects. In the afternoon, while the two
friends were getting ready to go and call on Donna Kimena, I
played the scout, and ran before to prepare the duenna for her visit-
ors. But there was no time to be lost on my return, for Don Felix
was waiting for me to attend Don Lewis and him on their way to
his aunt's. No sooner had they stepped over the threshold than
they were encountered by the adroit old lady, making signs to them
to walk as softly as possible. " Hush ! hush !" said she, in a low
voice ; " you will waken my niece. Ever since yesterday she has
had a dreadful headache, but is just now a little better ; and the
poor girl has been taking a little sleep for the last quarter of an
hour." " I am sorry for this unlucky accident," said Mendoza ; " I
was in hopes we should have seen our cousin ; besides, I meant to
have introduced my friend Pacheco." "There is no such great
hurry on that account," answered Ortiz, with a significant smile ;
" and if that is all, you may defer it till to-morrow." The gentle-
men did not trouble the old lady with a long visit, but took their
leave as soon as they decently could.
Don Lewis took us to see a young gentleman of his acquaintance,
by name Don Gabriel de Pedros. There we staid the remainder of
the day, and took our suppers. About two o'clock in the morning
we sallied forth on our return home. We had got about half way,
when we stumbled against something on the ground, and discovered
two men stretched at their length in the street. We concluded they
had fallen under the knife of the assassin, and stopped to assist
them, if yet within reach of assistance. As we were looking about
to inform ourselves of their condition as nearly as the darkness of
th6 night would allow, the patrol came up. The officer took us at
first for the murderers, and ordered his people to surround us ; but
he mended his opinion of us on the sound of our voices, and by
favor of a dark lantern held up to the face of Mendoza and Pacheco.
His myrmidons, by his direction, examined the two men, whom our
fancies had painted as in the agonies of death ; but it turned out to
be a fat licentiate with his servant, both of them overtaken in their
cups, and not dead, but dead drunk. " Gentlemen," exclaimed one
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 227
of the posse, "this jolly fellow is an acquaintance of mine. What I
do you not know Signor Guyomer the licentiate, head of our uni-
versity ? With all his imperfections he is a great character — a man
of superior genius. He is as staunch as a hound at a philosophical
dispute, and his words flow like a gutter after a hailstorm. He has
but three foibles in which he indulges : intoxication, litigation, and
fornication. He is now returning from supper at his Isabella's,
whence, the more is the pity, the drunk was leading the drunk, and
they both fell into the kennel. Before the good licentiate came to
the headship this happened continually. Though manners make
the man, honors, you perceive, do not always mend the manners."
We left these drunkards in custody of the patrol, who carried them
safe home, and betook ourselves to our lodging and our beds.
Don Felix and Don Lewis were stirring about mid-day. Aurora
de Guzman was the first topic of their conversation. " Gil Bias,"
said my mistress to me, " run to my aunt, Donna Kimena, and ask
if there is any admission for Signor Pacheco and me to-day, we
want to see my cousin." Off I went to acquit myself of this com-
mission, or rather to concert the plan of the campaign with the
duenna. We had no sooner laid our heads together to the purpose
intended, than I was once more at the elbow of the false Mendoza.
"Sir," quoth I, "your cousin Aurora has got about wonderfully.
She enjoined me from her own lips to acquaint you that your visit
could not be otherwise than highly acceptable, and Donna Kimena
desired me to assure Signor Pacheco that any friend of yours would
always meet with a hospitable reception."
These last words evidently tickled Don Lewis's fancy. My mis-
tress saw that the bait was swallowed, and prepared herself to haul
the prey to shore. Just before dinner, a servant made his appear-
ance from Signora Kimena, and said to Don Felix, " My lord, a man
from Toledo has been inquiring after you, and has left this note at
your aunt's house." The pretended Mendoza opened it, and read
the contents aloud to the following effect : " If your father and
family still live in your remembrance, and you wish to hear of
their concerns, do not fail, on the receipt of this, to call at the
Black Horse, near the university." " I am too much interested,"
3aid he, " in these proffered communications, not to satisfy my curi-
osity at once. Without ceremony, Pacheco, you must excuse me for
the present ; if I am not back again here within two hours, you may
find your way by yourself to my aunt's ; I will join the party in the
evening. You recollect Gil Bias' message from Donna Kimena;
the visit is no more than what will be expected from you." After
having thrown out this hint, he left the room, and ordered me to
follow him.
228 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
•It can scarcely be necessary to apprise the reader, that instead of
inarching down to the Black Horse, we filed off t<j our other quar-
ters. The moment that we got within doors, Aurora tore off her
artificial hair, washed the charcoal from her eyebrows, resumed her
female attire, and shone in all her natural charms, a lovely, dark-
complexioned girl. So complete, indeed, had been her disguise that
Aurora and Don Felix could never have been suspected of identity.
The lady seemed to have the advantage of the gentleman even in
stature, thanks tcf a good pair of high heels, to which she was not a
little indebted. It was her first business to heighten her personal
graces with all the embellishments of art; after which she looked
out for Don Lewis, in a state of agitation, compounded of fear and
hope. One instant she felt confident in her wit and beauty ; the
next, she anticipated the failure of her attempt. Ortiz, on her part,
set her best foot foremost, and was determined to play up to my
mistress. As for me, Pacheco was not to see my knave's face till
the last act of the farce, for which the great actors are always re-
served, to unravel the intricacy of the plot^ so I went out immedi-
ately after dinner.
In short, the puppet-show was all adjusted against Don Lewis's
arrival. He experienced a very gracious reception from the old
lady, in amends for whose tediousness he was blessed with two or
three hours of Aurora's delightful conversation. When they had
been together long enough, in popped I, with a message to the
enamored spark. . " My lord, my master Don Felix begs you ten
thousand pardons, but he cannot have the pleasure of waiting on
you here this evening. He is with three men of Toledo, from whom
he cannot possibly get away." " Oh, the wicked little rogue," ex-
claimed Donna Kimena ; " as sure as a gun, then, he is going to
make a night of it." " No, madam," replied I, " they are deeply
engaged in very serious business. He is really distressed that he
cannot pay his respects, and commissioned me to say everything
proper to your ladyship and Donna Aurora." " Oh ! I will have
none of his excuses," pouted out my mistress ; " he knows very well
that I have been indisposed, and might show some slight degree of
feeling for so near a relation. As a punishment, he shall not come
near me for this fortnight." "Nay, madam," interposed Don Lewis,
" such a sentence is too severe. Don Felix's fate is but too pitiable,
in having been deprived of your society this evening."
They bandied about their fine speeches on these little topics of
gallantry for some time, and then Pacheco withdrew. The lovely
Aurora metamorphosed herself in a twinkling, and resumed her
swashing outside. The grass did not grow under her feet while she
was running to the other lodging. " I have a million apologies to
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 229
make, my dear friend," said she to Don Lewis, " for not giving you
the meeting at my aunt's ; but there was no getting rid of the tire-
some people I was with. However, there is one comfort, you have
had so much the more leisure to look about you and criticise my
cousin's beauty. Well, and how do you like her?" "She is a
most lovely creature," answered Pacheco. " You were in (he right
to claim a resemblance to her. I never saw more correspondent
features : the very same cast of countenance, the eyes exactly alike,
the mouth evidently a family feature, and the tone of voice scarcely
to be distinguished. The likeness, however, goes no further, for
Aurora is taller than you, she is brown and you are fair, you are a
jolly fellow, she has a little touch of the demure ; so that you are
not altogether the male and female Sosias. As for good sense,"
continued he, " if an angel from heaven were to whisper wisdom
in one ear, and your cousin her mortal chit-chat in the other, I am
afraid the angel might whistle for an audience. In a word, Aurora
is all-accomplished."
Signor Pacheco uttered these last words with so earnest an ex-
pression, that Don Felix said with a smile : " My friend, I advise
you to stay away from Donna Kimena's ; it will be more for your
peace of mind. Aurora de Guzman may set your wits a wandering,
and inspire a passion." . . .
" I have no need of seeing her again," interrupted he, "to become
distractedly enamored of her." " I am sorry for you," replied the
pretended Mendoza, " for you are not a man to be seriously caught,
and my cousin is not to be made a fool of, take my word for it. She
would never encourage a lover whose designs were otherwise than
honorable." " Otherwise than honorable I" retorted Don Lewis ;
" who could have the audacity to form such on a lady of her rank
and character ? As for me, I should esteem myself the happiest of
mankind, could she be prevailed on to favor my addresses, and link
her fate with mine."
"Since those are your sentiments," rejoined Don Felix, "you
may command my services. Yes, I will go heart and hand with
you in the business. All my interests in Aurora shall be yours,
and by to-morrow morning I will commence an attack on my aunt,
whose good word has more influence than you may think." Pacheco
returned his thanks with the best air possible to this young go-
between, and we were all agog at the promising appearance of our
stratagem. On the following day we found the means of heighten-
ing the dramatic effect by entangling the plot a little more. My
mistress, after having waited on Donna Kimena, as if to speak a
good word in favor of the suitor, came back with the result of the
interview. " I have spoken to my aunt," said she, " but it was a»
230 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
mucli as I could do to make her hear your proposal with patience.
She was primed and loaded against you. Some good-natured friend
in the dark has painted you out for a reprobate ; but I took your
part with some little quickness, and at length succeeded in vin-
dicating your moral character from the attack it had sustained.
This is not all," continued Aurora. " You had better enter on the
subject with my aunt in my presence; we shall be able to make
something of her between us." Pacheco was all impatience to in-
sinuate himself into the good graces of Donna Kimena ; nor was the
opportunity deferred beyond the next morning. Our amphibious
Mendoza escorted him into the presence of Dame Ortiz, where such
a conversation passed between the trio as put fire and tow to the
combustible heart of Don Lewis. Kimena, a veteran performer,
took the cue of sympathy at every expression of tenderness, and
promised the enamored youth that it should not be her fault if
his plea with her niece was urged in vain. Pacheco threw himself
at the feet of so good an aunt, and thanked her for all her favors.
In this stage of the business Don Felix asked if his cousin was up.
" No," replied the duenna, " she is still in bed, and is not likely to
be down stairs while you stay ; but call again after dinner, and you
shall have a tete-d-tete with her to your heart's content." It is easy
to imagine that so coming on a proposal from the dragon which was
to guard this inaccessible treasure, produced its full complement of
joy in the heart of Don Lewis. The remainder of the long morning
had nothing to do but to be sworn at ! He went back to his own
lodging with Mendoza, who was not a little enraptured to observe,
with the scrutinizing eye of a mistress under the disguise of a friend,
all the symptoms of an incurable amorous infirmity.
Their tongues ran on no earthly subject but Aurora. When they
had done dinner, Don Felix said to Pacheco: "A thought has just
struck me. It would not be amiss for me to go to my aunt's a few
minutes before you ; I will get to speak to my cousin in private,
and pry, if it be possible, into every fold and winding of her heart,
as far as your interests are concerned." Don Lewis just chimed in
with this idea, so that he suffered his friend to set out first, and did
not follow hira till an hour afterwards. My mistress availed hersel''
so diligently of the interval, that she was tricked out as a lady from
heel to point before the arrival of her lover. " I beg pardon," said
the poor abused inamorato, after having paid his compliments to
Aurora and the duenna, " I took it for granted Don Felix would be
here." "You will see him in a few seconds," answered Donna
Kimena; "he is writing in my closet." Pacheco was easily put off
with the excuse, and found his time pass cheerfully in conversation
with the ladies. And yet, notwithstanding the presence of all his
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 281
Boul held dear, it seemed very strange that hour after hour glided
away but no Mendoza stepped forth from the closet ! He could not
help remarking, that the gentleman's correspondence must be un-
usually voluminous, when Auroi'a's features all at once assumed the
broader contour of a laugh, with a delightfully provoking question
to Don Lewis : " Is it possible that love can be so blind as not to
detect the glaring imposition by which it has been deluded ? Has
my real self made so faint an impression on your senses, that a
flaxen peruke and a pencilled eyebrow could carry the farce to such
a height as this? But the masquerade is over now, Pacheco," con-
tinued she, resuming an air of gravity; "you are to learn that Don
Felix de Mendoza and Aurora de Guzman are but one and the same
person,"
It was not enough to discover to him all the springs and contri-
vances by which he had been duped ; she confessed the motives of
tender partiality that led her to the attempt, and detailed the pro-
gress of the plot to the winding up of the catastrophe. Don Lewis
scarcely knew whether to be most astonished or delighted at the
recital ; at my mistress's feet he thus uttered the transports of his
fond applause: "Ah! lovely Aurora, can I believe myself indeed
the happy mortal on whom your favors have been so lavished?
What can I do to make you amends for them? My affection, were
this life eternal, could scarcely pay the price." These pretty
speeches were followed by a thousand others of the same quality
and texture; after which, the lovers descended a little nearer to
common sense, and began planning the rational and human means
of arriving at the accomplishment of their wishes. It was resolved
that we should set out without loss of time for Madrid, where mar-
riage was to drop the curtain on the last act of our comedy. This
purpose was executed in the spirit of impatience which conceived
it, so that Don Lewis was united to my mistress in a fortnight, and
the nuptial ceremonies were graced with the usual accompaniments
of music, feasting, balls, and rejoicings, without either end or respite.
282 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER VII.
GIL BLAS LEAVES HIS PLACE AND GOES INTO THE SERVICE OF DON
GONZALES PACHECO.
THREE weeks after marriage, my mistress bethonght herself of
^rewarding the services I had rendered her. She made me a
present of a liundred pistoles, saying to me at the same time: " Gil
Bias, my good fellow, it is not that I mean to turn you away, for
you have my free leave to stay here as long as you please ; but my
husband has an uncle, Don Gonzales Pacheco, who wants you very
much for a valet de chambre. I have given you so excellent a
character, that he would let me have no peace until I consented to
part with you. He is a very worthy old nobleman, so that you will
be quite in your element in his family."
I thanked Aurora for all her kindness, and, as my occupation was
over about her, I so much the more readily accepted the post thafc
offered, as it was merely a transfer from one branch of the Pachecos
to another. One morning, therefore, I called on the illustrious Don
Gonzales with a message from the bride. He ought at least to have
overslept himself, for he was in bed at near noon. When I went
into his chamber, a page had just brought him a basin of soup,
which he was taking. The dotard cherished his whiskers, or rather
tortured them with curling-papers ; though his eyes were sunk in
their sockets, his complexion pale, and his visage emaciated. This
was one of those old codgers who have been a little whimsical or so
in their youth, and have made poor amends for their freedoms by
the discretion of their riper age. His reception of me was affable
enough, with an assurance that if my attachment to him kept pace
with my fidelity to his niece, my condition should not be worse than
that of my fellows. I promised to place him in my late mistress's
shoes, and became the working partner in a new firm.
A new firm it undoubtedly was, and heaven knows we had a
strange head of the house. The resurrection of Lazarus was an
ordinary event compared to his getting up. Imagine to yourself a
long bag of dry bones, a mere skeleton, a dissection, an anatomy of
a man, a study in osteology ! As for the legs, three or four pairs of
stockings, one over the other, had no room to make any figure upon
them. In addition to the foregoing, this mummy before death was
asthmatic, and therefore obliged to divide the little breath he had
between his cough and his loquacity. He breakfasted on chocolate.
On the strength of that refre^shment, he ventured to call for pen, ink,
and paper, and to write a short note, which he sealed and sent to its
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 233
address by the page who had administered the broth. " But this
henceforth will be your office, my good lad," said he aa he turned
his haggard eyes upon me ; " all my little concerns will be in your
hands, and especially those in which Donna Euphrasia takes an
interest. That lady is an enchanting young creature, with whom I
am distractedly in love, and by whom, though I say it, who should
not say it, I am met with all the mutual ardor of inextinguishable
and unutterable passion."
"Heaven defend us!" thought I, within myself: "good now 1 if
this old antidote to rapture can fancy himself an object on which
the fair should waste their sweets, is it any wonder that among our
young folks each fancies himself the Adonis, for whom every Venus
pines ?" " Gil Bias," pursued he, with a chuckle, " this very day will
I take you to this abode of pleasure : it is my house of call almost
every evening for a bit of supper. You will be quite petrified at her
modest appearance, and the rigid propriety of her behavior. Far
from taking after those little wanton vagrants, who are hey-go mad
after striplings, and give themselves up to the fascinations of ex-
terior appearance, she has a proper insight into things, staid, ripe,
and judicious : what she wants is the bond fide spirit and discretion
of a man ; a lover who has served an apprenticeship to his trade, in
preference to all the flashy fellows of the modern school." This is
but an epitome of the panegyric which the noble duke Don Gon-
zales pronounced upon his mistress. He burdened himself with the
task of proving her a compendium of all human perfection ; but the
lecture was little calculated for the conviction of the hearer. I had
attended an experimental course among the actresses ; and had
always found that the elderly candidates had been plucked in their
amours. Yet, as a matter of courtesy, it was impossible not to put
on the semblance of giving implicit credit to my master's veracity ;
I even added chivalry to courtesy, and threw down my glove on
Euphrasia's penetration and the correctness of her taste. My im-
pudence went the length of asserting, that it was impossible for her
to have selected a better provided crony. The grown-up simpleton
was not aware that I was fumigating his nostrils at the expense of
his addled brain ; on the contrary, he bristled at my praises ; so true
is it, that a flatterer may play what game he likes against the
pigeons of high life ! They let you look over their hand, and then
wonder that you beat them
The old crawler, having scribbled through his billet-doux, re-
strained the luxuriance of a straggling hair or two with his tweezers;
then bathed his eyes in the nostrum of some perfumer to give them
a brilliancy which their natural gum would have eclipsed. His ears
were to be picked and washed, and his hands to be cleansed from
284 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
the effects of his other ablutions ; and the labors of the toilet wore
to be closed by pencilling every remaining hair in the disforested
domain of his whiskers, pericranium, and eyebrows. No old dow-
ager, with a purse to buy a second husband, ever took more pains
to assure herself, by the cultivation of her charms, that the person,
and not the fortune, should be the object of attraction. The assassin
stab of time was parried by the quart and tierce of art. Just as he
had done making himself up, in came another old fogram of his
acquaintance, by name the Count of Asumar. This genius made
no secret of his gray locks ; leaned upon a stick, and seemed to
plume himself on his venerable age, instead of wishing to appear in
the heydey of his prime. " Signer Pacheco," said he as he came
in, " I am come to take pot-luck with you to-day." " You are
always welcome, count," rejoined ray master. No sooner said than
done! they embraced with a thousand grimaces, took their seats
opposite to one another, and began chatting till dinner was served.
Their conversation turned at first upon a bull-feast which had
taken place a few days before. They talked about the cavaliers, and
who among them had displayed most dexterity and vigor ; where-
upon the old count, like another Nestor, whom present events fur-
nished with a topic of expatiating on the past, said, with a deep-
drawn sigh : "Alas! where will you meet with men, nowadays, fit to
hold a candle to my contemporaries? The public diversions are a
mere bauble to what they were when I was a young man." I could
not help chuckling in my sleeve at my good lord of Asumar's whim ;
for he did not stop at the handiwork of human invention. Would
you believe it? At table, when the fruit was brought in, at the
sight of some very fine peache^ this ungrateful consumer of tlie
earth's produce exclaimed : " In my time, the peaches were of a
much larger size than they are now ; but nature sinks lower and
lower from day to day." " If that is the case," said Don Gonzales
with a sneer, "Adam's hot-house fruit must have been of a most
unwieldy circumference."
The count of Asumar stayed till quite evening with my master,
who had no sooner got rid of him, than he sallied forth with me in
his train. We went to Euphrasia's, who lived within a stone's
throw of our house, and found her lodged in a style of the first
elegance. She was tastefully dressed, and for the youthfulness of
her air might have been taken to be in her teens, though thirty
bonny summers at least had poured their harvests in her lap. She
had often been reckoned pretty, and her wit was exquisite. Neither
was she one of your brazen-faced jilts, with nothing but flimsy bal-
derdash in their talk, and a libertine forwardness in their manners:
here was modesty of carriage as well as propriety of discourse ; and
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 235
she threw out her little sallies in the most exquisite manner, with-
out seeming to aspire beyond natural good sense. " Oh ! heaven I"
said I, "is it possible that a creature of so virtuous a stamp by
nature should have abandoned herself to vicious courses for a live-
lihood ?" I had taken it for granted, that all women of light char-
acter carried the mark of the beast upon their foreheads. It was a
surprise therefore to see such apparent rectitude of conduct ; neither
did it occur to me that these hacks for all customers could go at any
pace, and assume the polish of well-bred society, to impose upon
their cullies of the higher ranks. What if a lively petulance should
be the order of the day? they are lively and petulant. Should
modesty take its turn in the round of fashion, nothing can exceed
their outward show of prudent and delicate reserve. They play
the comedy of love in many masks ; and are the prude, the co-
quette, or the virago, as they fall in with the quiz, the coxcomb, or
the bully.
Don Gonzales was a gentleman and a man of taste ; he could not
stomach those beauties who call a spade, a spade. Such were not
for his market ; the rites of Venus must be consummated in the
temple of Vesta. Euphrasia had got up her part accordingly, and
proved by her performance that there is no comedy like that of
real life. I left my master, like another Numa with his Egeria, and
went down into a hall, where whom should fortune throw in my
way but an old abigail whom I had formerly known as maid-of-all-
work to an actress. The recognition waa mutual. " So ! well met
once more, Signor Gil Bias," said she. " Then you have turned off
Arsenia, just as I have parted with Constance." "Yes, truly,"
answered I, " it is a long while ago since I went away, and ex-
changed her service for that of a very different lady. Neither the
theatre nor the people about it are to my taste. I gave myself my
own discharge, without condescending to the slightest explanation
with Arsenia." " You were perfectly in the right," replied the
new-found abigail, called Beatrice. " That was pretty much my
method of proceeding with Constance. One morning early, I gave
in my accounts with a very sulky air ; she took them from me in
moody silence, and we parted in a sort of well-bred dudgeon."
" I am quite delighted," said I, " that we have met again, where
we need not be ashamed of our employers. Donna Euphrasia looks
for all the world like a woman of fashion, and I am much deceived
if she has not reputation too." " You are too clear-sighted to be
deceived," answered the old appendage to sin. " She is of a good
family ; and as for her temper, I can assure you it is unparalleled
for evenness and sweetness. None of your termagant mistresses,
never to be pleased, but always grumbling and scolding about
236 AD7ENTVRES OF GIL BLAS.
everything, making the house ring with their clack, and fretting
poor servants to a thread, whose places, in short, are a hell upon
earth 1 I have not in all this time heard her raise her voice on any
occasion whatever. When things happen not to be done exactly in
her way, she sets them to rights without any anger, nor does any of
that bad language escape her lips, of which some high-spirited ladies
are so liberal." "My master, too," rejoined I, " is very mild in his
disposition; the very milk of human kindntss; and in this respect
we are, between ourselves, much better off than when we lived
among the actresses." "A thousand times better," replied Beatrice;
" my life used to be all bustle and distraction ; but this place is an
actual hermitage. Not a creature darkens our doors but this excel-
lent Don Gonzales. You will be my only helpmate in my solitude,
and my lot is but too greatly blessed. For this long time have I
cherished an affection for you ; and many a time and oft have I be-
grudged that Laura the felicity of engrossing you for her sweetheart;
but in the end I hope to be even with her. If I cannot boast of
youth and beauty like hers, to balance the account, I detest co-
quetry, and have all the constancy as well as affection of a turtle-
dove."
As honest Beatrice was one of those ladies who are obliged to
hawk their wares, and cheapen themselves for want of cheapeners
in the market, I was happily shielded from any temptation to break
the commandments. Nevertheless, it might not have been prudent
to let her see in what contempt her charms were held : for which
reason I forced my natural politeness so far, as to talk to her in a
style not to cut off all hope of my more serious advances. I flattered
myself then that I had found favor in the eyes of an old dresser to
the stage ; but pride was destined to have a fall, even on so humble
an occasion. The domestic trickster did not sharpen her allure-
ments from any longing for my pretty person ; her design in subdu-
ing me to the little soft god was to enlist me for the purposes of her
mistress, to whom she had sworn so passive an obedience, that she
would have sold her eternal self to the old chapman who first set up
the trade of sin rather than have disappointed her slightest wishes.
My vain conceit was sufliciently evident on the very next morning,
when I carried an Ovidian letter from my master to Euphrasia.
The lady gave me an affable reception, and made a thousand pretty
speeches, echoed from the practiced lips of her chambermaid. The
expression of my countenance was peculiarly interesting to the one,
but that within which passeth show was the flattering theme of the
other. According to their account, the fortunate Don Gonzales had
picked up a treasure. In short, my praises ran so high, that I began
to think worse of myself than I had ever done in the whole course
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 237
of my life. Their motive was sufficiently obvious ; but I was deter-
mined to play at diamond cut diamond. The simper of a simpleton
is no bad countermine to the attack of a sharper. These ladies
under favor were of the latter description, and they soon began to
open their batteries.
" Hark you, Gil Bias !" said Euphrasia ; " fortune declares in your
favor if you do not balk her. Let us put our heads together, my
good friend. Don Gonzales is old, and a good deal shaken in con-
stitution ; so that a very little fever, in the hands of a very great
doctor, would carry him to a better place. Let us take time by the
forelock, and ply our arts so busily as to secure to me the largest
slice of his effects. If I prosper, you shall not starve, I promise you,
and my bare word is a better security than all the deeds and convey-
ances of all the lawyers in Madrid." "Madam," answered I, "you
have but to command me. Give me my commission on your muster-
roll, and you shall have no reason to complain either of my cowardice
or contumacy." " So be it, then," replied she. " You must watch
your master, and bring me an account of all his comings and goings.
When you are chatting together in his more familiar moments,
never fail to lead the conversation on the subject of our sex, and
then, by an artful but seeminglj' natural transition, take occasion to
say all the good you can invent of me. Eing Euphrasia in his ears
till all the house reechoes. I would counsel you, besides, to keep a
wary eye on all that passes in the Pacheco family. If you catch
any relation of Don Gonzales sneaking about him, with a design on
the inheritance, bring me word instantly ; that is all you have to
do, and trust me for sinking, burning, and destroying him in less
than no time. I have ferreted out the weak side of all your master's
relations long ago ; they are each of them to be made ridiculous in
some shape or other, so that the nephews and cousins, after sitting
to me for their portraits, are already turned with their faces to the
wall,"
It was evident by these instructions, with many more to the same
time and tune, that Euphrasia was one of those ladies whose par-
tialities all lean to the side of elderly inamoratos, with more money
than wit. Not long before, Don Gonzales, who could refuse nothing
to the tender passion, had sold an estate, and she pocketed the cash.
Not a day passed but she got some little personal remembrance out
of him; and besides all this, a corner of his will was the ultimate
object of her speculation. I affected to engage hand over head in
their infamous plot; and if I must confess all without mental reser-
vation, it was almost a moot point, on my return home, on which
side of the cause I should take a brief. There was on either a pro-
fitable alternative, — whether to join in fleecing my master^ or to
238 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
merit his gratitude by rescuing him from the plunderers. Con-
science, however, seemed to have some little concern in the determi-
nation ; it was quite ridiculous to choose the by-path to villany
when there was a better toll to be taken on the highway of honesty.
Besides, Euphrasia had dealt too much in generals ; an arithmeti-
cal definition of so much for so much has more meaning in it than
" all the wealth of the Indies ;" and to this shrewd reflection, per-
haps, was owing my uncorrupted probity. Thus did I resolve to
signalize my zeal in the service of Don Gonzales, in the persuasion
that if I was lucky enough to disgust the worshipper by befouling
his idol, it would turn to very good account. On a statement of
debtor and creditor between the right and the wrong side of the
action, the money balance was visibly in favor of virtue, not to
mention the delights of a fair and irreproachable character.
If vice so often assumes the semblance of its opposite, why should
not hypocrisy now and then change sides for variety ? I held my-
self up to Euphrasia for a thorough swindler. She was dupe
enough to believe that I was incessantly talking of her to my
master ; and thereupon I wove a tissue of frippery and falsehood,
which imposed on her for sterling truth. She had so completely
given herself up to my insinuations, as to believe me her convert,
her disciple, her confederate. The better still to carry on this fraud
upon fraud, I affected to languish for Beatrice ; and she, in ecstasy
at her age to see a young fellow at her skirts, did not much trouble
herself about my sincerity, if I did but play my part with vigor and
address. When we were in the presence of our princesses, my
master in the parlor and myself in the kitchen, the eifect was that
of two different pictures, but of the same school. Don Gonzales,
dry as touchwood, with all its inflammability, and nothing but its
smother, seemed a fitter subject for extreme unction than for amor-
ous parley ; while my little pet, in proportion to the violence of my
flame, niggled, nudged, toyed, and romped, like a school-girl in
vacation ; and no wonder she knew her lesson so pat, for the old
coquette had been upwards of forty years in the form. She had
finished her studies under certain professors of gallantry, whose art
of pleasing becomes the more critical by practice; till they die
under the accumulated experience of two or three generations.
It was not enough for me to go every evening with my master to
Euphrasia's: it was sometimes my lounge even in daytime. But
let me pop my head in at what hour I would, that forbidden crea-
ture man was never there, nor even a woman of any description
that might not be just as easily expressed as understood. There
was not the least loop-hole for a paramour I — a circumstance not a
little perplexing to one who could not readily believe that so pretty
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 239
a bale of goods could submit to a strict monopoly by such a dealer
as Don Gonzales. This opinion undoubtedly was formed on a near
acquaintance with female nature, as will be apparent in the sequel ;
for the fair Euphrasia, while waiting for my master's translation,
fortified herself with patience in the arms of a lover, with some little
felloAv-feeling for the frailties of her age.
One morning I was carrying, according to custom, a note to this
peerless pattern of perfection. There certainly were, or I was not
standing in the room, the feet of a man ensconced behind the tapes-
try. Out slunk I, just as if I had no eyes in my head ; yet, though
such a discovery was nothing but what might be expected, neither
was the piper to be paid out of my pocket ; my feelings were a good
deal staggered at the breach of faith. " Ah, traitress !" exclaimed
I, with virtuous indignation, " abandoned Euphrasia ! Not satisfied
to humbug a silly old gentleman with a tale of love, you share his
property in your person with another, and add profligacy to dis-
simulation !" But to be sure, on afterthoughts, I was but a green-
horn when I took on so for such a trivial occurrence ! It was rather
a subject for mirth than for moral reflection, and perfectly justified
by the way of the world ; the languid, embargoed commerce of my
master's amorous moments had need be filliped by a trade in some
more merchantable wares. At all events it would have been better
to have held my tongue, than to have laid hold on such an oppor-
tunity of playing the faithful servant. But instead of tempering
my zeal with discretion, nothing would serve the turn but taking
up the wrongs of Don Gonzales in the spirit of chivalry. On this
high principle, I made a circumstantial report of what I had seen,
with the addition of the attempt made by Euphrasia to seduce me
from my good faith. I gave it in her own words without the least
reserve, and put him in the way of knowing all that was to be
known of his mistress. He was struck all in a heap by my intelli-
gence, and a faint flash of indignation on his faded cheek seemed to
give security that the lady's infidelity would not go uri^iunished.
"Enough, Gil Bias," said he; "I am infinitely obliged by your
attachment to my service, and your probity is very acceptable to
me. I will go to Euphrasia this very moment. I will overwhelm
her with reproaches, and break at once with the ungrateful crea-
ture." With these words, he actually bent his way to the subject
of his anger, and dispensed with my attendance, from the kind
motive of sparing me the awkwardness which my presence during
their explanation would have occasioned to my feelings.
I longed for my master's return with all the impatience of an
interested person. There could not be a doubt but that with his
strong grounds of complaint, he would return completely diaea-
240 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
tangle<l from the snares of his nymph. In this thought I extolled
and magnified myself for my good deed. What could be more
flattering than the thanks of the kindred who were naturally to
inherit after Don Gonzales, when they should be informed that
their relative was no longer the puppet of a figure-dance so hostile
to their interests ? It was not to be supposed but that such a friend
would be remembered, and that my merits would at last be distin-
guished from those of other serving-men, who are usually more
disposed to encourage their masters in licentiousness, than to draw
them off to habits of decency. I was always of an aspiring temper,
and thought to have passed for the Joseph or the Scipio of the
servants' hall ; but so fascinating an idea was only to be indulged
for an hour or two. The founder of my fortunes came home. " My
friend," said he, " I have had a very sharp brush with Euphrasia.
She insists on it that you have trumped up a cock-and-bull story.
If their word is to be taken, you are no better than an impostor, a
hireling in the pay of my nephews, for whose sake you have set all
your wits at work to bring about a quarrel between her and me. I
have seen the real tears, made of water, run down in floods from
her poor dear eyes. She has vowed to me as solemnly as if I had
been her confessor, that she never made any overtures to you in
her life, and that she does not know what man is. Beatrice, who
seems a simple, innocent sort of girl, is exactly in the same story,
so that I could not but believe them and be pacified, whether I
would or no."
"How then, sir?" interrupted I, in accents of undissembled sor-
row, " do you question my sincerity ? Do you distrust." ..." No,
my good lad," interrupted he again in his turn ; " I will do you
ample justice. I do not suspect you of being in league with my
nephews. I am satisfied that all you have done has been for my
good, and own myself much obliged to you for it ; but appearances
are apt to mislead, so that perhaps you did not see in reality what
you took tt into your head that you saw ; and in that case, only con-
sider yourself how offensive your charge must be to Euphrasia.
Yet, let that be as it will, she is a creature whom I cannot help
loving in spite of my senses ; so that the sacrifice she demands must
be made, and that sacrifice is no less than your dismission. I lament
it very much, my poor dear Gil Bias, and if that will be any satis-
faction to you, my consent was wrung from me most unwillingly;
but there was no saying nay. With one thing, however, you may
comfort yourself, you shall not be sent away with empty pockets.
Nay, more, I mean to turn you over to a lady of my acquaintance,
where you will live to your liking."
I was not a little mortified to find all my noble acts and motives
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 241
end in my own confusion. I gave a left-handed blessing to Euphra-
sia, and wept over the weakness of Don Gonzales, to be so foolishly
infatuated by her. The kind-hearted old gentleman felt within him-
self that in turning me adrift at the peremptory demand of his mis-
tress, he was not performing the most manly action of his life. For
this reason, as a set-off against his hen-pecked cowardice, and that
I might the more easily swallow this bitter dose, he gave me fifty
ducats, and took me with him next morning to the Marchioness of
Chaves, telling that lady before my face, that I was a young man of
unexceptionably good character, and very high in his good graces,
but that as certain family reasons prevented him from continuing
me on his own establishment, he should esteem it as a favor if she
would take me on hers. After such an introduction, I was retained
at once as her appendage, and found myself, I scarcely know how,
established in another household.
CHAPTEK VIII.
THE MARCHIONESS OF CHAVES; HER CHARACTER AND THAT OF HER
COMPANY.
THE Marchioness of Chaves was a widow of five and thirty, tall,
handsome, and well-proportioned. She enjoyed an income of
ten thousand ducats, without the encumbrance of a nursery. I never
met with a lady of fewer words, nor one of a more solemn aspect.
Yet this exterior did not prevent her from being set up as the clev-
erest woman in all Madrid. Her great assemblies, attended by
people of the first quality, and by men of letters who made a coffee-
house of her apartments, contributed perhaps more than anything
she said to give her the reputation she had acquired. But this is a
point on which it is not my province to decide. I have only to
relate as her historian, that her name carried with it the idea of
superior genius, and that her house was called, to distinguish it
from the ordinary societies in town, The Fashionable Institution for
Literature, Taste and Science.
In point of fact, not a day passed but there were readings there,
sometimes of dramatic pieces, and sometimes in other branches of
poetry. But the subjects were always selected from the graver
muses ; wit and humor were held in the most sovereign contempt.
Comedy, however spirited ; a novel, however pointed in its satire
16
242 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
or ingenious in its fable, such light productions as these were treated
as weak efforts of the brain, without the slightest claim to patron-
age ; whereas, on the contrary, the most microscopical work in the
serious style, whether ode, pastoral, or sonnet, was trumpeted to the
skies as the most illustrious effort of a learned and poetical age. It
not unfrequently fell out, that the public reversed the decrees of
this chancery for genius ; nay, they had sometimes the gross ill-
breeding to hiss the very pieces which had been sanctioned by this
court of criticism.
I was chief manager of the establishment, and my office consisted
in getting the drawing-room ready to receive the company, in set-
ting the chairs in order for the gentlemen, and the sofas for the
ladies ; after which, I took my station on the landing-place to bawl
out the' names of the visitors as they came up stairs, and usher them
into the circle. The first day, an old piece of family furniture, who
was stationed by my side in the ante-chamber, gave me their de-
scription with some humor, after I had shown them into the room.
His name was Andrew Molina. He had a good deal of mother's
wit, with a flowing vein of satire, much gravity of sarcasm, and a
happy knack at hitting off characters. The first comer was a bishop.
I roared out his lordship's name, and as soon as he was gone in, my
nomenclator told me — " That prelate is a very curious gentleman.
He has some little influence at court, but wants to persuade the
world that he has a great deal. He presses his service on every soul
he comes near, and then leaves them completely in the lurch. One
day he met with a gentleman in the presence chamber who bowed
to him. He laid hold of him, and squeezing his hand, assured him,
with an inundation of civilities, that he was altogether devoted to
his lordship. ' For goodness' sake, do not spare me ; I shall not die
in my bed without having first found an opportunity of making you
my debtor.' The gentleman returned his thanks with all becoming
expressions of gratitude, and when they were at some distance from
one another, the obsequious churchman said to one of his attendants
in waiting, * I ought to know that man ; I have some floating, indis-
tinct idea of having seen him somewhere.' "
Next after the bishop came the son of a grandee. When I had
introduced him into my lady's room, " This nobleman," said Molina,
" is also an original in his v/ay. You are to take notice that he
often pays a visit for the express purpose of talking over some
urgent business with the friend on whom he calls, and goes away
again without once thinking on the topic he came solely to discuss.
But," added my showman on the sight of two ladies, "here are
Donna Angela de Penafiel and Donna Margaretta de Montalvan.
This pair have not a feature of resemblance to each other. Donna
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 243
Margaretta prides herself on her philosophical acquirements ; she
will hold her head as high as the most learned head among the doc-
tors of Salamanca, nor will the wisdom of her conceit ever give up
the point to the best reasons they can render. As for Donna Angela,
she does not affect the learned lady, though she has taken no unsuc-
cessful pains in the improvement of her mind. Her manner of
talking is rational and proper, her ideas are novel and ingenious,
expressed in polite, significant, and natural terms." "This latter
portrait is delightful," said I to Molina ; " but the other, in my
opinion, is scarcely to be tolerated in the softer sex." " Not even
bearable indeed I" replied he with a sneer : " even in men it doea
but expose them to the lash of satire. The good marchioness her-
self, our honored lady," continued he, " she too has a sort of philoso-
phical looseness. There will be fine chopping of logic there to-day I
God grant the mysteries of religion may not be invaded by these
disputants."
As he was finishing this last sentence, in came a withered bit of
mortality, with a grave and crabbed look. My companion showed
him no mercy. " This fellow," said he„ " is one of those pompous,
unbending spirits, who think to pass for men of profound genius,
under favor of a few commonplaces extracted out of Seneca; yet
they are but shallow coxcombs when one comes to examine them
narrowly." Then followed in the train a spruce figure, with toler-
able person and address, to say nothing of a troubled air and man-
ner, which always supposes a plentiful stock of self-suflSciency. I
inquired who this was. "A dramatic poet I" said Molina. "He
has manufactured a hundred thousand verses in his time, which
never brought him in the value of a groat ; but as a set-off against
his metrical failure, he has feathered his nest very warmly by six
lines of humble prose: you will wonder by what magic touch a
fortune could be made." . . .
And so I did; but a confounded noise upon the staircase put
verse and prose completely out of my head. " Good again I" ex-
claimed my informer; "here is the licentiate Campanario. He is
his own harbinger before ever he makes his appearance. He seta
out from the very street door in a continued volley of conversation,
and you hear how the alarm is kept up till he makes his retreat."
In good sooth, the vaulted roof reechoed with the organ of the
thundering licentiate, who at length exhibited the case in which
the pipes were contained. He brought a bachelor of his acquaint-
ance by way of accompaniment, and there was not a sotio voce passage
during the whole visit. " Signor Campanario," said I to Molina,
" is to all appearance a man of very fine conversation." " Yes,"
replied my sage instructor, " the gentleman has Ms lucky hits, and
244 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
a sort of quaintness that might pass for humor ; he does very well
in a mixed company. But the worst-of it is, that incessant talking
is one of his most pardonable errors. He is a little too apt to bor-
row from himself; and as those who are behind the scenes are not
to be dazzled by the tinsel of the property-man, so we know how to
separate a certain volubility and buffoonery of manner from sterling
wit and sense. The greater part of his good things would be thought
very bad ones, if submitted, without their concomitant grimaces, to
the ordeal of a jest book."
Other groups passed before us, and Molina touched them with his
wand. The marchioness, too, came in for a magic rap over the
knuckles. " Our lady patroness," said he, " is better than might
be expected for a female philosopher. She is not dainty in her
likings ; and bating a whim or two, it is no hard matter to give her
satisfaction. Wits and women of quality seldom ajiproach so near
the atmosphere of good sense ; and for passion, she scarcely knows
what it is. Play and gallantry are equally in her black books : dear
conversation is her first and sole delight. To lead such a life would
be little better than penance to the common run of ladies." Molina's
character of my mistress established her at once in my good graces.
And yet, in the course of a few days, I could not help suspecting
that, though not dainty in her likings, she knew what passion was,
and that a foul copy of gallantry delighted her more than the fairest
conversation.
One morning, during the mysteries of the toilet, there presented
himself to my notice a little fellow of forty, forbidding in his aspect,
more filthy if possible than Pedro de Moya the book-worm, and
verging in no marketable measure towards deformity. He told me
he wanted to speak with my lady marchioness. " On whose busi-
ness ?" quoth I. " On my own," quoth he, somewhat snappishly.
" Tell her I am the gentleman ; . . . she will understand you ; . . .
about whom she was talking yesterday with Donna Anna de Ve-
lasco." I went before him into my lady's apartment, and gave in
his name. The marchioness all at once shrieked out her satisfac-
tion, and ordered me to show him in. It was not courtesy enough
to point to a chair, and bid him to sit down : but the attendants,
forsooth, her own maids about her person, were to withdraw, so
that the little hunchback, with better luck than falls to the lot of
many a taller man, had the field entirely to himself, as lord para-
mount. As for the girls and myself, we could not help tittering a
little at this uncouthly concerted duet, which lasted nearly an hour :
when my patroness dismissed his little lordship, with such a pro-
fusion of farewells and God-be-with-you's, as sufficiently evinced
her thankfulness for the entertainments she had received.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 245
The conversation had, in fact, been so edifying, that in the after-
noon she seized a private opportunity of whispering in my ear, " Gil
Bias, when the short gentleman comes again, you may show him up
the back stairs ; there is no need of parading him along a line of
staring servants." I did as I was ordered. When this epitome of
humanity knocked at the door, and that hour was no farther off than
the next morning, we threaded all the by-passages to the place cf
assignation. I played the same modest part two or three times in
the very innocence of my soul, without the most distant guess that
the material system could form any part of their philosophy. But
that hour.d-like snuff at an ill construction, with which the devil has
armed the noses of the most charitable, put me on the scent of a
very whimsical game, and I concluded either that the marchioness
had an odd taste, or that crookback courted her as proxy to a better
man.
" Faith and troth," thgught I, with all the impertinence of a hasty
opinion, " if my mistress really likes a handsome fellow behind the
curtain, all is well ; I forgive her sins : but if she is stark mad for
such a monkey as this,.to say the truth, there will be little mercy for
her on male or female tongues." But how foully did I defame my
honored patroness I The genius of magic had perched herself upon
the little conjurer's protuberant shoulder ; and his skill having been
puffed off to the marchioness, who was just the right food for such
jugglers and their tricks, she held private conferences with him.
Under his tuition she was to command wealth and treasure, to build
castles in the air, to remove from place to place in an instant, to re-
veal future events, to tell what is done in far countries, to call the
dead out of their graves, and terrify the world with many miracles.
Seriously, and to give him his deserts, the scoundrel lived on the
folly of the public ; and it has been confidently asserted, that ladies
of fashion have not in all ages and countries been exempt from the
credulity of their inferiors.
246 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER IX.
AN INCIDENT THAT PARTED GIL BLAS AND THE MARCHIONESS OF
CHAVES. THE SUBSEQUENT DESTINATION OF THE FORMER.
FOR six months I lived with the Marchioness of Chaves, and, as
it must be admitted, on the fat of the land. But fate, who
thrusts footmen as well as heroes into the world, with herself tied
about their necks, gave me a jog to be gone, and swore that I
should stay no longer in that family or in Madrid. The adventure
by which this decree was announced shall be the subject of the en-
suing narrative.
In my mistress's female squad there was a nymph named Portia.
To say nothing of her youth and beauty, it was her meek demeanor
and good repute that captivated me, who had yet to learn that none
but the brave deserve the fair. The marchioness's secretary, as proud
as a prime minister, and as jealous as the Grand Turk, was caught
in the same trap as myself. No sooner did he cast an unlucky
squint at my advances, than, without waiting to see how Portia
might chance to fancy them, he determined pell-mell to have a tilt
with me. To forward this ghostly enterprise, he gave me an ap-
pointment one morning in a place sadly impervious to all seasona-
ble interruption. Yet as he was a little go-by-the-ground, scarcely
up to my shoulders, and apparently of feeble frame, he did not look
like a very dangerous antagonist ; so away I went with some little
courage to the appointed spot. Thinking to come off with flying
colors, I anticipated the effect of my bravery on the heart of Portia;
but as it turned out, I was gathering my laurels before they had
budded. The little secretary, who had been practicing for two or
three years at the fencing-school, disarmed me like a very baby, and
holding the point of his sword up to my throat, " Prepare thyself,"
said he, " to balance thine accounts with this world, and open a cor-
respondence with the next, or give me thy rascally word to leave the
Marchioness of Chaves this very day, and never more to think of my
Portia." I gave him my rascally word, and was honest enough not
to think of breaking it. There was an awkwardness in showing my
face before the servants of the family, after having been worsted ;
and especially before the high and mighty princess who had been
the theme of our tournament. I only returned home to get together
my baggage and wages, and on that very day set off towards Toledo,
with a purse pretty well lined, and a knapsack at my back with my
wardrobe and movables. Though my rascally word was not given
to abandon the purlieus of Madrid, I considered it as a matter of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 247
delicacy to disappear, at least for a few seasons. My resolution was
to make the tour of Spain, and to halt first at one town and then at
another. " My ready money," thought I, " will carry me a good
way : I shall not call about me very prodigally. When my stock is
exhausted, I can but go into service again. A lad of my versatility
will find places in plenty, whenever it may be convenient to look
out for them."
It was particularly my wish to see Toledo : and I got thither after
three days' journey. My quarters were at a respectable house ot
entertainment, where I was taken for a gentleman of some figure,
under favor of my best clothes, in which I did not fail to bedizen
myself. With the pick-tooth carelessness of a lounger, the afFecta-
tion of a puppy, and the pertness of a wit, it remained with me to
dictate the terms of an arrangement with some very pretty women
who infested the neighborhood ; but, as a hint had been given me
that the pocket was the high road to their good graces, my amorous
enthusiasm was a little flattered, and, as it was no part of my plan
to domesticate myself in any one place, after having seen all the
lions at Toledo, I started one morning with the dawn, and took the
road to Cueu9a, intending to go to Arragon. On the second day I
went into an inn which stood open to receive me by the road side.
Just as I was beginning to recruit the carnal department of my
nature, in came a party belonging to the Holy Brotherhood. These
gentlemen called for wine, and set in for a drinking bout. Over
their cups they were conning the description of a young man, whom
they had orders to arrest. " The spark," said one of them, " is not
above three and twenty ; he has long black hair, is well grown, with
an aquiline nose, and rides a bay horse."
I heard their talk without seeming to be a listener; and, in fact,
did not trouble my head much about it. They remained in their
quarters, and I pursued my journey. Scarcely had I gone a quarter
of a mile, before I met a young gentleman on horseback, as person-
able as need be, and mounted as described by the officers. " Faith
and troth," thought I within myself, "this is the very identical
man. Black hair and an aquiline nose ! One cannot help doing a
good office when it comes in one's way." " Sir," said I, " give me
leave to ask you whether you have not some disagreeable business
on your hands?" The young man, without returning any answer,
looked at me from head to foot, and seemed startled at my question.
I assured him it was not wanton curiosity that induced me to ad-
dress him. He was satisfied of that when I related all I had heard
at the inn. "My unknown benefactor," said he, "I will not deny
to you that I have reason to believe myself actually the person of
whom the officers are in quest ; therefore I shall take another road
248 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
to avoid them." " In my opinion," answered I, " it would be better
to look out for a spot where you may be in safety, and under shelter
from a storm which is brewing, and will soon pour down upon our
heads." Without loss of time we discovered and made for a row of
trees, forming a natural avenue, which led us to the foot of a moun-
tain, where we found a hermitage.
There was a large and deep grotto which time had worn away
into the heart of the rock ; and the hand of man had added a rude
front built of pebbles and shell-work, covered all over with turf.
The adjacent grounds were strewed with a thousand sorts of flowers,
which scattered their perfume ; and one was pleased to see, hard by
the grotto, a small fissure in the mountain, whence a spring rippled
Avith a tinkling noise, and poured its pellucid stream along the
meadow. At the entrance of this solitary abode stood a venerable
hermit, seemingly weighed down with years. He supported himself
with one hand upon a staff, and held a rosary of large beads with
the other, composed of at least twenty rows. His head was almost
lost in a brown woollen cap with long ears ; and his beard, whiter
than snow, swept down in aged majesty to his waist. We advanced
towards him. " Father," said I, "is it your pleasure to allow us
shelter from the threatening storm ?" " Come in, my sons," replied
the hermit, after examining me attentively ; " this hermitage is r.c
your service, to occupy it during pleasure. As for your horse,''
- added he, pointing to the court-yard of his mansion, "he will be
very well off there." My companion disposed of the animal accord-
ingly, and we followed the old man into the grotto.
No sooner had we got in than a heavy rain fell, with a terrific
storm of thunder and lightning. The hermit threw himself upon
his knees, before a consecrated image, fastened to the wall, and we
followed the example of our host. Our devotions ceased with the
subsiding of the storm; but as the rain continued, though with
diminished violence, and night was not far distant, the old man
said to us, " My sons, you had better not pursue your journey in
such weather, unless your affairs are pressing." We answered with
one consent that we had nothing to hinder us from staying there
but the fear of incommoding him ; but that if there was room foi-
us in the hermitage, we would thank him for a night's lodging.
"You may have it without inconvenience," answered the hermit,
"at least the inconvenience will be all your own. Your accommo-
dation will be rough, and your meal such as a recluse has to offer."
With this cordial welcome to a homely board, the holy personage
seated us at a little table, and set before us a few vegetables, a crust
of bread, and a pitcher of water. " My sons," resumed he, " you
behold my ordinary fare, but to-day I will make a feast in hospi-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 249
tality towards you." So saying, he fetched a little cheese and some
nuts, which he threw down upon the table. The young man, whose
appetite was not keen, felt but little tempted by his entertainment.
"I perceive," said the hermit to him, "that you are accustomed to
better tables than mine, or rather that sensuality has vitiated your
natural relish. I have been in the world like you. The utmost
ingenuity of the culinary art, whether to stimulate or soothe the
palate, was exerted by turns for my gratification. But since I have
lived in solitude, my taste has recovered its simplicity. Now, vege-
tables, fruit and milk are my greatest dainties ; in a word, I keep
an antediluvian table."
While he was haranguing after this fashion, the young man fell
into a deep musing. The hermit was aware of his inattention.
" My son," said he, " something weighs upon your spirits. May we
not be informed what disturbs you? Open your heart to me. Curi-
osity is not my motive for questioning you, but charity, and a desire
to be of service. I am at a time of life to give advice, and you
perhaps are under circumstances to stand in need of it." "Yes,
father," replied the gentleman with a sigh, " I doubtless do stand
in need of it, and will follow yours, since you are so good as to offer
it ; I cannot suppose there is any risk in unbosoming myself to a
man like you." "No, my son," said the old man, "you have
nothing to fear, it is under more stately roofs that confidences are
betrayed." On this assurance the cavalier began his story.
CHAPTER X.
THE HISTOKY OF DON ALPHONSO AND THE FAIR SERAPHINA.
" "T" WILL attempt no disguise from you, my venerable friend,
JL nor from this gentleman who completes my audience. After
the generosity of his conduct towards me, I should be in the wrong
to distrust him. You shall know my misfortunes from their begin-
ning. I am a native of Madrid, and came into the world mysteri-
ously. An ofl5cer of the German guard, Baron Steinbach by name,
returning home one evening, espied a bundle of fair linen at the
foot of his staircase. He took it up and carried it to his wife's
apartment, where it turned out to be a new-born infant wrapped up
in very handsome swaddling-clothes, with a note containing an
assurance that it belonged to persons of condition, who would com©
260 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
forward and own it at some future period ; and the further inform-
ation that it had been baptized by the name of Alphonso, I was
that unfortunate stranger in the world, and this is all that I know
about myself. Whether honor or profligacy was the motive of the
exposure, the helpless child was equally the victim ; whether my
unhappy mother wanted to get rid of me, to conceal an habitual
course of scandalous amours, or whether she had made a single de-
viation from the path of virtue with a faithless lover, and had been
obliged to protect her fame at the expense of nature and the maternal
feelings.
" However this might be, the baron and his wife were touched by
my destitute condition, and resolved, as they had no children of
their own, to bring me up under the name of Don Alphonso. As
I grew in years and stature, their attachment to me strengthened.
My manners, genteel before strangers and affectionate towards them,
were the theme of their fondest panegyric. In short, they loved me
as if I had been their own. Masters of every description were pro-
vided for me. My education became their leading object; and far
from waiting impatiently till my parents should come forward, they
seemed, on the contrary, to wish that my birth might always re-
main a mystery. As soon as the baron thought me old enough to
bear arms, he sent me into the service. With my ensign's commis-
sion, a genteel and suitable equipment was provided for me ; and,
the more effectually to animate me in the career of glory, my patron
pointed out that the path of honor was open to every adventurer,
and that the renown of a warrior would be so much the more credit-
able to me, as I should owe it to none but myself. At the same
time he laid open to me the circumstances of my birth, which he
had hitherto concealed. As I had passed for his son in Madrid, and
had actually thought myself so, it must be owned that this commu-
nication gave me some uneasiness. I could not then, nor can I even
now, think of it without a sense of shame. In proportion as the in-
nate feelings of a gentleman bear testimony to the birth of one, am
I mortified at being rejected and renounced by the unnatural
authors of my being.
" I went to serve in the Low Countries, but peace was concluded
in a short time; and Spain finding herself without assailants, though
not without assassins, I returned to Madrid, where I received fresh
marks of affection from the baron and his wife. Rather more than
two months after my return, a little page came into my room one
morning, and presented me with a note couched nearly in the
following terms: 'I am 'neither ugly nor crooked, and yet you
often see me at my window without the tribute of a glance. This
conduct is little in unison with the spirit of your physiognomy,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 251
and so far stings me to revenge that I will make you love me if
possible.'
" On the perusal of this epistle, there could be no doubt but it
came from a widow, by name Leonora, who lived opposite our house,
and had the character of a very great coquette. Hereupon I ex-
amined my little messenger, who had a mind to be on the reserve at
first, but a ducat in hand opened the floodgates of his intelligence.
He even took charge of an answer to his mistress, confessing my
guilt, and intimating that its punishment was far advanced.
" I was not insensible to a conquest even of this kind. For the
rest of the day, home and my window-seat were the grand attrac-
tion ; and the lady seemed to have fallen in love with her window-
seat too. I made signals. She returned them ; and on the very
next day sent me word by her little Mercury, that if I would be in
the street on the following night between eleven and twelve, I
might converse with her at a window on the ground floor. Though
I did not feel myself very much captivated by so coming on a kind
of widow, it was impossible not to send such an answer as if I was ;
and a sort of amorous curiosity made me as impatient as if I had
really been in love. In the dusk of the evening, I went sauntering
up and down the Prado till the hour of assignation. Before I could
get to my appointment, a man mounted on a fine horse alighted
near me, and coming up with a peremptory air, ' Sir,' said he, * are
not you the son of Baron Steinbach ?' I answered in the aflSrmative.
'You are the person then,' resumed he, ' who were to meet Leonora
at her window to-night? I have seen her letters and your answers;
her page has put them into my hands, and I have followed you this
evening from your own house hither, to let you know you have a
rival whose pride is not a little wounded at a competition with your-
self in an afiair of the heart. It would be unnecessary to say more.
We are in a retired place ; let us therefore draw, unless, to avoid
the chastisement in store for you, you will give me your word to
break off all connection with Leonora. Sacrifice in my favor all
your hopes and interest, or your life must be the forfeit.' * It had
been better,' said I, ' to have insured my generosity by good manners,
than to extort my compliance by menaces. I might have granted
to your request what I must refuse to this insolent demand.'
" * Well then,' resumed he, tying up his horse and preparing for
the encounter, ' let us settle our dispute like men. Little could a
person of my condition have stomached the debasement of a request
to a man of your quality. Nine out of ten in my rank would, under
such circumstances, have taken their revenge on terms of less honor
but more safety.' I felt myself exasperated at this last insinuation,
80 that, seeing he had already drawn his sword, mine did not linger
252 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
in the scabbard. We fell on one another with so much fury, that
the engagement did not last long. Whether his attack was made
with too much heat, or my skill in fencing was superior, he soon
received a mortal wound. He staggered, and dropped dead upon
the spot. In such a situation, having no alternative but an imme-
diate escape, I mounted the horse of my antagonist, and went off in
the direction of Toledo. There was no venturing to return to Baron
Steinbach's, since, besides the danger of the attempt, the narrative
of my adventure from my own mouth would only afflict him the
more, so that nothing was so eligible as an immediate decampment
from Madrid.
"Chewing the cud of my own melancholy reflection, I travelled
onwards the remainder of the night and all the next morning. But
about noon it became necessary to stop, both for the sake of my
horse and to avoid the insupportable fierceness of the mid-day heat.
I staid in a village till sunset, and then, intending to reach Toledo
without drawing bit, went on my way. I had already got two
leagues beyond lUescas, when, about midnight, a storm like that of
to-day overtook me as I was jogging along' the road. There was a
garden wall at some little distance, and I rode up to it. For want
of any more commodious shelter, my horse's station and my own
were arranged, as comfortably as circumstances would admit, near
the door of a summer-house at the end of the wall, with a balcony
over it. Leaning against the door, I discovered it to be open, owing,
as I thought, to the negligence of the servants. Having dismounted,
less from curiosity than for the sake of a better standing, as the rain
had been very troublesome under the balcony, I went into the
lower part of the summer-house, leading my horse by the bridle.
"My amusement during the storm was in reconnoitering my
quarters ; and though I had nothing to form an opinion by, but the
lurid gleams of the lightning, it was very evident that such a house
must belong to some family above the common. I was waiting
anxiously till the rain abated, to set forward again on my journey ;
but a great light at a distance made me change my purpose. Leav-
ing my horse in the summer-house, with the precaution of fastening
the door, I made for the light, in the assurance that they were not
all gone to bed in the house, and with the intention of requesting a
lodging for the night. After crossing several walks, I came to a
saloon, and here, too, the door was left open. On my entrance, from
the magnificence so handsomely displayed by the light of a fine
crystal lustre, it was easy to conclude that this must be the resi-
dence of some illustrious nobleman. The pavement was of marble,
the wainscot richly carved and gilt, the proportions of architecture
tastefiiUy preserved, and the ceiling evidently adorned by the mas-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 258
terpieces of the first artists in fresco. But what particularly engaged
my attention, was a great number of busts, and those of Spanish
heroes, supported on jasper pedestals, and ranged round the saloon.
There was opportunity enough for examining all this splendor, since
there was not even a foot-fall, nor the shadow of any one gliding
along the passage, though my ears and eyes were incessantly on the
watch for some inhabitant of this fairy desert.
" On one side of the saloon there was a door ajar ; by pushing it
a little wider open, I discovered a range of apartments, with a light
only in the farthest. What is to be done now? thought I within
myself. Shall I go back, or take the liberty of marching forward,
even to that chamber ? To be sure, it was obvious that the most
prudent step would be to make good my retreat ; but curiosity was
not to be repelled, or rather, to speak more truly, my star was in its
ascendant. Advancing boldly from room to room, at length I
reached that where the light was. It was a wax taper on a marble
slab, in a magnificent candlestick. The first object that caught my
eye was the gay furniture of this summer abode ; but soon after-
wards, casting a look towards a bed, of which the curtains were half
undrawn on account of the heat, an object arrested my attention,
which engrossed it with the deepest interest. A young lady, ia
spite of the thunderclaps which had been pealing round her, was
sleeping there, motionless and undisturbed. I approached her very
gently, and by the light of the taper I had seized, a complexion and
features the most dazzing were submitted to my gaze. My spirit^
were all afloat at the discovery. A sensation of transport and de-
light came over me ; but however my feelings might harass my own
heart, my conviction of her high birth checked every presumptuous
hope, and awe obtained a complete victory over desire. While I
was drinking in floods of adoration at the shrine of her beauty, the
goddess of my homage awoke.
" You may well suppose her consternation, at seeing a man, an
utter stranger, in her bed-chamber, and at midnight. She was ter-
rified at this strange appearance, and uttered a loud shriek. I did
my best to restore her composure, and throwing myself on my knees
in the humblest posture, ' Madam,' said I, ' fear nothing. My busi-
ness here is not to hurt you.' T was going on, but her alarm was so
great that she was incapable of hearing my excuses. She called her
women with a most vehement importunity, and as she could get no
answer, she threw over her a thin night-gown at the foot of the bed,
rushed rapidly out of the room, and darted into the apartments I
had crossed, still calling her female establishment about her, as well
as a younger sister whom she had under her care. I looked for
nothing less than a posse of strapping footmen who were likely,
254 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
without hearing my defence, to execute summary justice on so
audacious a culprit ; but by good luck, at least for me, her cries
were to no purpose ; they only roused an old domestic, who would
have been but a sorry knight had any ravisher or magician invaded
her repose. Nevertheless, assuming somewhat of courage from his
presence, she asked me haughtily who I was, by what inlet and to
what purpose I had presumptuously gained admission into her
house. I then began to enter on my exculpation, and had no sooner
declared that the open door of the summer-house in the garden had
invited my entrance, than she exclaimed, as if thunderstruck, ' Just
heaven I what an idea darts across my mind I'
"As she uttered these words, she caught at the wax light on the
table ; then ran through all the apartments one after another, with-
out finding either her attendants or her sister. She remarked, too,
that all her personals and wardrobe were carried off. With such a
comment on her hasty suspicions, she came up to me, and said, in
the hurried accent of suspense and perturbation, * Traitor ! add not
hypocrisy to your other crimes. Chance has not brought you hither.
You are in the train of Don Ferdinand de Ley va, and are an accom-
plice in his guilt. But hope not to escape ; there are still people
enough about me to secure you.' ' Madam,' said I, ' do not confound
me with your enemies. Don Ferdinand de Ley va is a stranger to
me ; I do not even know who you are. You see before you an out-
cast, whom an affair of honor has compelled to fly from Madrid ;
and I swear by whatever is most sacred among men, that had not a
storm overtaken me, I should never have set my foot over your
threshold. Entertain, then, a more favorable opinion of me. So
far from suspecting me for an accomplice in any plot against you,
believe me ready to enlist in your defence, and to revenge your
wrongs.' These last words, and still more the sincere tone io which
they were delivered, convinced the lady of my innocence, and she
seemed no longer to look on me as her enemy ; but if her anger
abated, it was only that her grief might sway more absolutely. She
began weeping most bitterly. Her tears called forth my sympathy,
and my affliction was scarcely less poignant than her own, though
the cause of this contagious sorrow was still to be ascertained. Yet
it was not enough to mingle my tears with hers ; in my impatience
to become her defender and avenger, an impulse of terrific fury
came over me. ' Madam,' exclaimed I, ' what outrage have you
sustained ? Let me know it, and your injuries are mine. Would
you have me hunt out Don Ferdinand, and stab him to the heart?
Only tell me on whom your justice would fall, and they shall suffer.
You have only to give the word. Whatever dangers, whatever cer-
tain evils may be attendant on the execution of your orders, the
ADVENTVITES OF GIL BLAS. 265
unknown, whom you thought to be in league with your enemies,
will brave them all in your cause.
" This enraptured devotion surprised the lady, and stopped the
flowing of her tears. 'Ah 1 sir,' said she, ' forgive this suspicion,
and attribute it to the blindness of my cruel fate. A nobility of
sentiment like this speaks at once to the heart of Seraphina ; and
while it undeceives, makes me the less repine at a stranger being
witness of an affront offered to my family. Yes, I own my error,
and revolt not, unknown as you are, from your proffered aid. But
the death of Don Ferdinand is not what I require.' ' Well, then,
madam,' resumed I, ' of what nature are the services you would
enjoin me?' ' Sir,' replied Seraphina, ' the ground of my complaint
is this. Don Ferdinand de Leyva is enamored of my sister Julia,
whom he met with by accident at Toledo, where we for the most part
reside. Three months since, he asked her in marriage of the Count
de Polan, my father, who refused his consent on account of an old
grudge subsisting between the families. My sister is not yet fifteen ;
she must have been indiscreet enough to follow the evil counsels of my
woman, whom Don Ferdinand has doubtless bribed : and this daring
ruffian, advertised of our being alone at our country-house, has taken
the opportunity of carrying off Julia. At least I should like to
know what hiding-place he has chosen to deposit her in, that my
father and my brother, who have been these two months at Madrid,
may take their measures accordingly. For heaven's sake,' added
she, ' give yourself the trouble of examining the neighborhood of
Toledo ; an act so heinous cannot escape detection, and my family
will owe you a debt of everlasting gratitude.'
"The lady was little aware how unseasonable an employment she
was thrusting upon me. My escape from Castile could not be too
soon effected ; and yet how should such a reflection ever enter into
her head, when it was completely superseded in mine by a more
■powerful suggestion ? Delighted at finding myself important to the
most lovely creature in the universe, I caught at the commission
with eagerness, and promised to acquit myself of it with equal zeal
and industry. In fact, I did not wait for daybreak, to go about ful-
filling my engagement. A hasty leave of Seraphina gave me occa-
sion to beg her pardon for the alarm I had caused her, and to assure
her that she should speedily hear somewhat of my adventure. I
went out as I came in, but so wrapped up in admiration of the lady,
that it was palpable I was completely caught. My sense of this
truth was the more confirmed by the eagerness with which I em-
barked in her cause, and by the romantic, gayly-colorcd bubbles
which passion blew. It struck my fancy that Seraphina, though en-
grossed by her affliction, had remarked the hasty birth of my love,
256 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
without being displeased at the discovery. I even flattered myself
that if I could furnish her with any certain intelligence of her sister,
and the business should terminate in any degree to her satisfaction,
my part in it would be remembered to my advantage."
Don Alphonso broke the thread of his discourse at this passage,
and said to our aged host, " 1 beg your pardon, father, if the fullness
of my passion should lead me to dilate too long upon particulars,
■wearisome and uninteresting to a stranger." " No, my son," replied
the hermit, " such particulars are not wearisome : I am interested to
know the state and progress of your passion for the young lady you
are speaking of; my counsels will be influenced by the minute de-
tail you are giving me."
" With my fancy heated by these seductive images," resumed the
young man, " I was two days hunting after Julia's ravisher : but in
vain were all the inquiries that could be made ; by no means I could
devise was the least trace of him to be discovered. Deeply mortified
at the unsuccessful issue of my search, I bent my steps back to Ser-
aphina, whom I pictured to myself as overwhelmed with uneasiness.
Yet she was in better spirits than might have been expected. She
informed me that her success had been better than mine ; for she
had learned how her sister was disposed of. She had received a letter
from Don Ferdinand himself, importing that after being privately
married to Julia, he had placed her in a convent at Toledo. * I have
sent this letter to my father,' pursued Seraphina. ' I hope the affair
may be adjusted amicably, and that a solemn marriage will soon
extinguish the feuds which have so long kept our respective families
at variance.'
" When the lady had thus informed me of her sister's fate, she
began making an apology for the trouble she had given me, as well
as the danger into which she might imprudently have thrown me,
by engaging my services in pursuit of a ravisher, without recollect-
ing what I had told her, that an affair of honor had been the occa-
sion of my flight. Her excuses were couched in such flattering terms,
as to convert her very oversight into an obligation. As rest was de-
sirable for me after my journey, she conducted me into the saloon,
where we sat down together. She wore an undress gown of white
taffety with black stripes, and a little hat of the same materials with
black feathers ; which gave me reason to suppose that she might be
a widow. But she looked so young, that I scarcely knew what to
think of it.
" If I was all impatient to get at her history, she was not less so to
know who I was. She besought me to acquaint her with my name,
not doubting, as she kindly expressed it, by my noble air, and still
more by the generous pity which had made me enter so warmly into
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 267
her interests, that I belonged to some considerable family. The
question was not a little perplexing. My color came and went, my
agitation was extreme : and I must own that, with less repugnance
to the meanness of a falsehood than to the acknowledgment of a dis-
graceful truth, I answered that I was the son of Baron Steinbach, an
officer of the German guard. * Tell me, likewise,' resumed the lady,
' why you left Madrid. Before you answer my question, I will insure
you all my father's credit, as well as that of my brother Don Gas-
pard. It is the least mark of gratitude I can bestow on a gentleman
who, for my service, has neglected the preservation even of his own
life.' Without further hesitation, I acquainted her with all the cir-
cumstances of my rencounter: she laid the whole blame on my
deceased antagonist, and engaged to interest all her family in my
favor.
" When I had satisfied her curiosity, it seemed not unreasonable
to plead in favor of my own. I inquired whether she was maid, wife,
or widow. ' It is three years,' answered she, * since my father made
me marry Don Diego de Lara ; and I have been a widow these fif-
teen months,' 'Madam,' said I, 'by what misfortune were your
wedded joys so soon interrupted?' 'I am going to inform you, sir,'
resumed the lady, ' in return for the confidence you have reposed in
me,
" ' Don Diego de Lara was a very elegant and accomplished gen-
tleman : but, though his affection for me was extreme, and every day
was witness to some attempt at giving me pleasure, such as the most
impassioned and most tender lover puts in practice to win the smile
of her he loves ; though he had a tlaousand estimable qualities, my
heart was untouched by all his merit. Love is not always the off-
spring either of assiduity or desert. Alas 1 we are often captivated
at first sight by we know not whom, nor why, nor how. To love,
then, was not in my power. More disconcerted than gratified by
his repeated offices of tenderness, which I received with a forced
courtesy, but without real pleasure, if I accused myself in secret of
ingratitude, I still thought myself an object as much of pity as of
censure. To his unhappiness and my own, his delicacy more than
kept pace with his affection. Not an action or a speech of mine,
but he unravelled all its hidden motives, and fathomed all my
thoughts, almost before they arose. The inmost recesses of my heart
were laid open to his penetration. He complained without ceasing
of my indifference; and esteemed himself only so ra'uch the more
unfortunate in not being able to please me, as he was well assured
that no rival stood in his way ; for I was scarcely sixteen years old ;
and, before he paid his addresses to me, he had tampered with my
woman, who had assured him that no one had hitherto attracted my
17
258 ADVENTURES OF UlL BLAS.
attention. " Yes, Seraphina," he would often say, " I could have
been contented that you had preferred some other to myself, and that
there were no more fatal cause of your insensibility. My attentions
and your own principles would get the better of such a juvenile
prepossession ; but I despair of triumphing over your coldness, since
your heart is impenetrable to all the love I have lavished on you."
Wearied with the repetition of the same strain, I told him that in-
stead of disturbing his repose and mine by this excess of delicacy,
he would do better in trusting to the effects of time. In fact, at my
age, I could not be expected to enter into the refinements of so sen-
timental a passion ; and Don Diego should have waited, as I warned
him, for a riper period and more staid reflection. But, finding that
a whole year had elapsed, and that he was no further advanced in
my favor than on the first day, he lost all patience, or rather, his
brain became distracted. AflFecting to have important business at
court, he took his leave, and went to serve as a volunteer in the Low
Countries ; where he soon found in the chances of war what he went
to seek, the termination of his sufferings and of his life.'
" After the lady had finished her recital, her husband's uncommon
character became the topic of our discourse. We were interrupted
by the arrival of a courier, charged with a letter for Seraphina from
the Count de Polan. She begged my permission to read it; and as
she went on, I observed her to grow pale, and to become dreadfully
agitated. When she had finished, she raised her eyes upward,
heaved a long sigh, and her face was in a moment bathed with her
tears. Her sorrow sat heavily on my feelings. My spirits were
greatly disturbed ; and, as if it were a forewarning of the blow inv
pending over my head, a death-like shudder crept through my frame,
and my faculties were all benumbed, ' Madam,' said I, in accents
half choked with apprehension, ' may I ask of what dire events that
letter brings the tidings ?' ' Take it, sir,' answered Seraphina most
dolefully, while she held out the letter to me. * Read for yourself
what my father has written. Alas I you are but too deeply concerned
in the contents.'
"At these words,'which made my blood run cold, I took the letter
with a trembling hand, and found in it the following intelligence :
' Your brother, Don Gaspard, fought yesterday at the Prado. He
received a small sword wound, of which he died this day ; and de-
clared before he breathed his last that his antagonist was the son of
Baron Stcinbach, an oflicer of the German guard. As misfortunes
never come alone, the murderer has eluded my vengeance by flight ;
but wherever he may have concealed himself, no pains shall be
spared to hunt him out. I am going to write to the magistrates all
roun4 the countf^, wl;q wlU flot fail \o. ti^ke JiiiR jntQ pustody, if he
ADVENTURES OF QIL BLAS. 259
passes througli any of the towns in their jurisdiction, and by the
notices I am going to circulate, I hope to cut off his retreat in the
country or at the seaports. — The Count de Polan.'
" Conceive into what a ferment this letter threw all my thoughts.
I remained for some moments motionless and without the power of
speech. ' In the midst of my confusion, I too plainly saw the de-
structive bearing of Don Gaspard's death on the passion I had im-
bibed. My despair was unbounded at the thought. I threw myself
at Seraphina's feet, and offering her my naked sword, ' Madam,' said
I, ' spare the Count de Polan the necessity of seeking farther for a
man who might possibly withdraw himself from his resentment.
Be yourself the avenger of your brother : offer up his murderer as
the victim of your own hand : now, strike the blow. Let this very
weapon, which terminated his life, cut short the sad remnant of his
adversary's days.' * Sir,' answered Seraphina, a little softened by
my behavior, ' I loved Don Gaspard, so that though you killed him
in fair and manly hostility, and though he brought his death upon
himself, you may rest assured that I take up my father's quarrel.
Yes, Don Alphonso, I am your decided enemy, and will do against
you all that the ties of blood and friendship require at my hands.
But I will not take advantage of your evil star : in vain has it de-
livered you into my grasp : if honor arms me against you, the same
sentiment forbids to pursue a cowardly revenge. The rights of hos-
pitality must be inviolable, and I will not repay such service as you
have rendered me with the treachery of an assassin. Fly ! make
your escape, if you can, from our pursuit and from the rigor of the
laws, and save your forfeit life from the dangers that beset it.'
" ' What then, madam,' returned I, ' when vengeance is in your
own hands, do you turn it over to the laws, which may, perhaps, be
too slow for your impatience? Nay! rather stab a wretch who is
not worthy of your forbearance. No, madam, maintain not so noble
and so generous a proceeding with one like me. Do you know who
I am ? All Madrid takes me for Baron Steinbach's son ; yet am I
nothing better than a foundling, whom he brought up from charity.
I know not even who were guilty of my existence.' ' No matter,'
interrupted Seraphina, with precipitation, as if my last words had
given her new uneasiness, ' though you were the lowest of mankind
I would do what honor bids.' 'Well, madam,' said I, 'since a
brother's death is insufficient to excite your thirst after my blood, I
will exasperate your hatred still further by a new offence, of which
I trust you will never pardon the boldness. I dote on you : I could
not behold your charms without being dazzled by them : and, in
spite of the cloud in which my destiny was enveloped, I had cher-
ished the hope of being united to you. I was so infatuated by my
260 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
passion, or rather by my pride, as to flatter myself that Heaven,
which perhaps conceals from me my birth in mercy, might discover
it one day, and enable me without a blush to acquaint you with my
real name. After this injurious avowal, can you hesitate a moment
about punishing me?'
" * This rash declaration,' replied the lady, ' would doubtless prove
offensive at any other season ; but I forgive it in consideration of
the trouble which bewilders you. Besides, my own condition so
engrosses me, as to render me deaf to any strange ideas that may
escape you. Once more, Don Alphonso,' added she, shedding tears,
' begone far from a house which you have cast into mourning ; every
moment of your longer stay adds pungency to my distress.' ' I no
longer oppose your will, madam,' returned I, preparing to take my
leave: 'absence from you must then be my portion; but do not
suppose that, anxious for the preservation of a life which is become
hateful to you, I go to seek an asylum where I may be sheltered
from your search. No, no ; I bare my breast to your resentment.
I shall wait with impatience at Toledo for the fate which you design
me ; and by surrendering at once to my pursuers, shall myself for-
ward the completion of my miseries.'
"At the conclusion of this speech I withdrew. My horse was
returned to me, and I went to Toledo, where I abode eight days,
and really with so little care to conceal myself, that I know not
how or why I have escaped an, arrest ; for I cannot suppose that the
Count de Polan, whose whole soul is set on cutting off my retreat,
should not have been aware that I was likely to pass through
Toledo, Yesterday I left that town, where it should seem as if I
was tired of my liberty, and without betaking myself to any fixed
course of travelling, I came to this hermitage, like a man who had
no reason to be ashamed of showing himself. Such, father, was the
cause of my absence and distraction. I beseech you to assist me
with your counsels."
CHAPTER XI.
THE OLD HERMIT TURNS OUT AN EXTRAORDINARY GENIUS, AND GIL
BLAS FINDS HIMSELF AMONG HIS FORMER ACQUAINTANCE.
WHEN Don Alphonso had concluded the melancholy recital
of his misfortunes, the old hermit said to him, " My son, you
have been excessively rash in tarrying so long at Toledo. I consider
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 261
what you have told me of your story in a very different light from
that you affect to place it in, and your love for Seraphina seems to
me to be sheer madness. Take my word for it, you will do well to
cancel that young lady from your remembrance; she never can be
of your communion. Eetreat like a skillful general, when you can-
not act with effect on the offensive ; and pursue your fortune on
another field, where success may smile on your endeavors. You
will be terribly out of luck to kill the brother of the next young
lady who may chance to succeed this only possible object of your
affection."
He was going to add many other inducements to resignation, in
such a case as Don Alphonso's, when we saw another hermit enter
our retreat, with a well-stuffed wallet slung across his shoulders. He
was on his return, with the charitable contributions of all the good
folks in the town of Cuen<}a ; and the gathering did credit to the re-
ligion of the age. He looked younger than his companion, in spite
of his thick, foxy beard. " Welcome home 1 brother Antony," said
the elder of the two recluses ; " what news do you bring us from
town ?" " Bad enough," answered the carroty friar, putting into
his hands a paper, folded in the form of a letter ; " this little instru-
ment will inform you." The hoary sage opened it, and after read-
ing on with an increased attention, as the contents seemed to grow
more interesting exclaimed, "Heaven's will be donel Since the
combustion is anticipated, we have only to fall in with the humor of
our fate. Let us change our dialect, Signor Don Alphonso I" pur-
sued he, addressing his discourse to my young companion : " you
behold in me a man, like yourself, who has been a broad mark for
the wantonness of fortune to take aim at. Word is sent me from
Cuen^a, a town at the distance of a league hence, that some back-
biter has been blackening my fair fame in the esteem of justice ; who
is coming with her hue and cry to disturb the repose of these rural
scenes, and to lay her paw upon my person. But an old fox is too
cunning to be caught in a trap. This is not the first time that I
have cut and run before the bloodhounds of the law. But, thanks
to myself for having my wits about me, I have always ended the
chase in a whole skin, and held myself in readiness for another. It
is now time to assume another form ; for, whether you like me best in
my old skin or my new, I cast my hermit's decrepit slough, to bask
in the sunshine of youth and vigor."
To suit the action to the word, he threw off the encumbrance of
his ecclesiastical petticoat, and stood forth to view in a doublet of
black serge with slashed sleeves. Then off went his cap, and snap
went a string which supported the hoary honors of a beard, and our
anchorite was at once transformed to a brawny ruffian of eight-and-
262 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
twenty or thirty. Brother Antony, following a good example, dis-
carded the outward show of religion, treated his fiery beard as the
snowy one had been handled just before, and pulled out of an old
worm-eaten trunk a sorry rag of a cassock, with which he invested
his person. But what words can express my surprise, when Signer
Don Eaphael presented himself to my view, like a phoenix from the
ashes of the old bead-counter ! To complete the trick of the panto-
mime, brother Antony was turned into my faithful vassal and trusty
squire, Ambrose de Lamela. " Here are miracles I" exclaimed I, in
a quandary ; " as far as I can perceive, we are all hail fellow, well
met!" "You never were more lucky in your life, Signor Gil Bias,''
said Don Raphael, with a brazen-faced good humor : " you have
fallen among old friends when you least expected it. It must
be owned you have a crow to pluck with us ; but let the past be
buried in oblivion, and thank Heaven, here we are together again.
Ambrose and I will serve under your banner ; and let me tell you,
you will have subalterns of no contemptible prowess. You may
object to our morals : but they are better in the main than many a
hypocrite's pretensions. We never assassinate, and rarely maltreat,
and that in pure self-defence. The only liberty we take with society
is to live at free quarters ; and though robbery may be considered
as containing some little spice of injustice, the necessity we labor
under of committing it restores its equilibrium to the scale. Even
join your fortune with ours; you will lead a life of hazard, but of
variety. Our predatory peregrinations have every pastoral beauty
except innocence, and the want of that is more than counterpoised by
subtlety and stratagem. Not but, with all our forecast, a certain
mechanical concatenation 6f second causes sometimes frustrates our
best concerted projects, and drags our philosophy through the mire.
But a ducking now and then only makes us swim the better. The
seasons must all be taken in their turns : the blanks as well as the
prizes must be drawn in the cheating lottery of life."
" Courteous stranger," pursued the pretended hermit, speaking to
Don Alphonso, "we extend the proposal of partnership to you, and
it may be a question whether you will better yourself by rejecting it,
in the lamentable condition of your affairs ; for, to say nothing of
the chance medley for which you are at hide and seek, your fortune
is probably a little out at elbows." "Most lamentably so," said
Don Alphonso ; " and hence, since the truth must out, are my fore-
bodings more dark than even my present evils." " That is the very
thing !" replied Don Raphael. ' " You were sent by our better genius
to join the party. You will find no such good berth in the honest
part of the world. Your wants will all be supplied, and you may
laugh at the vigilance of your pursuers. There is not a corner in
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 268
all Spain which we have not ferreted out ; those who are always on
the scamper see a great deal of the country. We are perfect con-
noisseurs- in landscape, and affect Salvator Eosa's rugged scenery.
There we graze in peace and freedom, secure from the brutality of
justice." Don Alphonso expressed himself very much obliged to
them for their kind invitation ; and finding neither money in his
purse nor contrivance to procure it in his pericranium, made up his
mind at once not to stand upon a punctilio with morality. I too
was led into a looser course than agreed with my rigid principles, by
a growing friendship for this young man, whom I could not find in
my heart to abandon in so perilous an enterprise.
We all four agreed to set off in a body, and never to part com-
pany. The question was put whether we should sound a retreat on
the instant, or first give a peremptory summons to a flagon of excel-
lent wine, which brother Antony had invested by regular approaches
at Cuen^a the day before ; but Eaphael, a more experienced general
than any of us, represented that the first thing to be done was to
render our own camp impregnable, for which purpose he proposed
that we should march all night, to gain a very thick wood between
Villardesa and Almodabar, where we should halt, as in a friendly
country, and recruit after the fatigues of the campaign. These gen-
eral orders were approved of in council. Our lay hermits then went
about packing up their baggage and provisions, which were swung
in two bundles across the back of Don Alphonso's horse. We were
not long in our preparations, after which we sheered oS" from the
hermitage, leaving a rich booty to legal rapine in the saintly para-
phernalia of the two hermits ; including a wliite beard and a red
one, two rickety bedsteads, a table without a leg, a chest without
a bottom, two chairs without any seats, and an unmutilated image
of St. Pacomo.
Our march was continued the whole night, and we began to chafe
and feel other inconveniences, when at daybreak we hailed the
wood where our toils were to end. Sailors after a long voyage work
the ship with double alacrity at the sight of their native land. So
it was with us ; we pushed forward, and got to our journey's end by
sunrise. Dashing into the thickest of the wood, we pitched upon a
retired and pleasant spot, where the turf was circled in by tall and
branching oaks, whose gigantic limbs, interwoven over our heads,
formed a natural vault, not to be penetrated even by noon-day heat.
We took the bridle off" the horse to let him feed after he was un-
loaded. Then down we sat, pulling out of brother Antony's wallet
some large pieces of bread and good substantial slices of roast meat,
at which we began pegging with all possible pertinacity. Never-
theless, let our appetites be as obstinate as they might, we every now
264 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS.
and then suspended the fray to spar a little with the flagon, which
returned our blows till it made us reel again.
About the end of the conflict, Don Raphael said to Don Alphonso,
"My brave comrade, after the confidence you have reposed in me, it
is but fair that in my turn I should recount the history of my life to
you with the same sincerity." '' You will do me a great favor," an-
swered the youjig man. "And an equal one to me," chimed in I.
" My curiosity is all alive to know your adventures, for doubtless
they must afford much matter of useful speculation." " You may
rest assured of that," replied Don Raphael ; " and I mean to leave
behind me a history of my own times. The composition shall be
the amusement of my old age, for I am as yet in the prime of life,
and mean to furnish in propria persona many new hints for my com-
mon-place book. But we are all weary ; let us recruit with some
hours of sleep. While we three lie down, Ambrose shall keep watch
for fear of a surprise, and shall then take a nap in his turn. For
though, to all appearance, we are here in perfect safety, it is always
good to keep a sentry at the outposts." After this precaution he
stretched himself along upon the grass. Don Alphonso did the
same. I followed their example, and Lamela performed the office
of a scout.
Don Alphonso, so far from getting any rest, was incessantly
brooding over his misfortunes, and I could not get a wink of sleep.
As for Don Raphael, he snored most sonorously. But he awoke in
little more than an hour, when, finding us in a listening mood, he
said to Lamela, " My friend Ambrose, you may now yield to the
gentle influence of Morpheus." " No. no," answered Lamela, " my
sleepy fit is over ; and though I know all the passages of your life
by rote, they are so instructive to the practitioners of our art and
mystery, that I do not care how often I hear the tale over again."
Without further preface, Don Raphael began the narrative of his
adventures in these terms.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 266
BOOK V.
CHAPTER I.
HISTORY OF DON RAPHAEL.
" T MADE my entrance on the stage of life at Madrid, where my
JL mother was an actress, famous for her dramatic and infamous
for her intriguing talents. Her name was Lucinda. As for my
father, every man must have one ; but my arithmetic is too scanty to
determine the number of mine. It might indeed be a matter of his-
tory, that such or such a man of fashion was dangling after my
mother at the epoch of my arrival in this system ; but then, that mere
fact would by no means warrant a deduction that any individual
gallant of the mother must therefore be the father of the chiid. A
lady so eminent as she was in so notorious and wholesale a profes-
sion, must have many strings to her bow ; where her blandishments
are most publicly lavished, her favors are most sparingly bestowed :
there is a show article or two for public exhibition, but her every-
day wares are cheap, and hackneyed to the meanest purchaser.
" There is nothing like taking scandal by the beard, and treating
the opinion of the world with heroic indifference. Lucinda, instead
of cooping me up in a garret at home, made no scruple about own-
ing her little bastard, but took me in her hand to the theatre with a
modest assurance, regardless how the tongue of rumor might babble
at her expense, or how the laugh of malice might peal at my unlucky
appearance. In short, I was her pet, and came in for the caresses
of all the men who frequented the house. One would have sworn
that nature pleaded in my favor, and inspired each of them with a
father's pride in the brat they had clubbed for. The twelve first
years of my life were suffered to waste away in all kinds of frivolous
amusements. Scarcely did they teach me to read and write. Still
less was it thought of any consequence to initiate me in the princi-
ples of my religion. To dance, to sing, to play on the guitar, was
the sum total of my early attainments. With these gifts and graces
for my only acquisitions, the Marquis of Leganez asked for me to be
about his only son, who was nearly of my own age. Lucinda gave
her consent without reluctance, and it was then that I began to mind
a little what I was about. Young Leganez could not reproach me
with my ignorance; his little lordship was not cast in a scientific
mould, for he scarcely knew a letter of his alphabet, though he had
266 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
been under private tuition for fifteen months. None of his masters
could make anything of him ; patience was never formed to engage
in so unequal a match. To be sure, they were expressly forbid to
exercise any severity on his noble carcass ; their orders were to teach,
not to torture him ; and this tender precaution, acting on a subject
of insufferably untoward dispositions, was the means of throwing to
the dogs all the mental physic they poured in ; he would none of it.
" But the verb-grinder engendered in his noddle a most ingenious
device, by which to keep this troublesome young lordling in awe,
without trenching on his foolish father's injunctions. The scheme
was no other than to flog me whenever that scapegrace Leganez had
incurred the penalty of the rod, and this vicarious execution was
inflicted with the utmost rigor. My consent to the transfer had never
been asked, and there was nothing in the act itself to recommend it;
so that my only chance was to run away, and appeal to my mother
against so arbitrary a discipline. However her maternal feelings
might inwardly revolt, no trace of woman's weakness could be de-
tected in her manner of receiving my complaint. The Leganez con-
nection was too important to be lost for a few whippings ; and away
went she, dragging her culprit into the presence of his tormentor,
who, by this act of hers, became master of broom field. Experience
had convinced him that the success of his invention corresponded
with its felicity. He therefore went on improving the mind and
manners of the little grandee at the expense of my skin. Remorse
for his delinquencies was to be excited only by sympathy ; so that
whenever it became necessary to make a bloody example, my seat of
vengeance was firked most unmercifully. The running account be-
tween young Leganez and me was all on one side, and scarcely a day
passed but he sinned on tick and suffered by attorney. By the near-
est calculation of whole numbers, there went somewhere about a
hundred cuts to teach him each single letter of the alphabet; so that
if you multiply 100 by 24 for stupidity, and add a 0 to the amount
for moral offences, you will have the sum total of the belaboring that
his education cost me.
" This thick and threefold companionship with birch was not the
only rub ; my path through this family was more beset with thorns
than sweetened by flowers. As my birth and connections were no
secret, the whole of the establishment, to the very refuse of the
household, the stable boys and scullions, twitted me with my shame-
ful origin. This stuck so terribly in my throat that I made my es-
cape once more, but not without borrowing mv tutor's ready money,
amounting to upwards of a hundred and fifty ducats, for an indefi-
nite period, and without interest. Thus was the account settled
between us; since he had made a property of my hide for a scare-
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 267
crow, it was but fair that I should have a finger in the earnings of
his arm. For a first attempt at thieving both the plan and execu-
tion were hopeful. A hue and cry were raised for two days ; it was
hot while it lasted, but I lay snug, and they missed me. Madrid
was no longer a fit hiding-place ; so I took to cover in Toledo, and
the hounds were thrown out.
" I was just then entering into my fifteenth year. What a happy
fellow, at such an early age, to shape my own conduct and be in a
condition of forming a set of morals for myself! I soon scraped
acquaintance with some pleasant youths, who rescued me from the
dominion of prejudice, and shared liberally with me in the sin of
spending what was not my own. By degrees I rose in society, and
leagued myself with a set of professional sharpers, who found me so
fine a subject to work upon, that a short time, with plenty of prac-
tice, put me in possession of all the most desperate jobs. At the
expiration of five years, an itch for travelling laid hold of me. I
therefore took leave of my comrades, and got as far as Alcantara,
wishing to commence my peregrinations with the province of Estre-
madura. In this my first excursion, an opportunity of keeping in
my hand occurred ; and I was too diligent a practitioner to let it
escape. As I was on foot, and loaded moreover with a pretty heavy
knapsack, I halted from time to time to avail myself of the shade,
and recruit a little under the trees which lined the highway. At
one of these halts I picked up two young gentlemen, who were chat-
ting at their ease upon the grass, and inhaling the freshness of the
breeze. My mode of accosting them was suited to the occasion ;
nor did its familiarity seem to be taken in ill part. The eldest
could not be more than fifteen — a couple of as practicable green-
horns as ever fell into the hands of a man of genius. * Courteous
stranger,' said the youngest, ' we are the sons of two rich citizens at
Placentia. Longing extremely to see the kingdom of Portugal, we
have each of us begged a hundred pistoles from our friends, and are
setting out to satisfy our curiosity. Travelling on foot as we do, we
shall be able to get a good way with that supply, shall we not?
What do you think of it ?' ' If I had as much,' answered I, * they
might take me who could catch me. I would scour over the four
known quarters of the globe, and then set out on new discoveries.
Fire and fury ! Two hundred pistoles 1 Why, it is an entail for a
dukedom ! You ought to lay by out of the interest. If it is agree-
able to you, gentlemen, I will club with you as far as Almeria,
whither I am going to take possession of an estate left me by an
uncle who was settled there for twenty years or upwards.'
" My young cockneys testified at once the pleasure they should
derive from my company. Whereupon, when we were all three a
268 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
little refreshed, we trudged on towards Alcantara, where we arrived
early in the afternoon. No inn but the best was fit to hold such
guests. We asked for a room, and were shown into one where there
was a press with a good strong lock upon it. Supper was ordered
without delay ; but as some time was required to get it ready, I pro-
posed to my travelling companions a gentle saunter about the town.
The party seemed perfectly agreeable. We locked up our knapsacks
in the press, the key of which one of the citizens put in his pocket,
and out sallied we from the inn. The churches were the best lions
we met with in our way ; and while we were gaping about the prin-
cipal, I pretended to have recollected on a sudden some very urgent
business. ' Gentlemen,' said I to my companions, ' it has just come
across me that a §ood man of Toledo gave me a commission to say
two words on his behalf to a merchant who lives hard by this church.
Have the goodness to wait for me here ; I will be back in a moment.'
With this excuse, I went off like a shot in the direction of our inn.
The press was my point of attack— I forced the lock, ransacked the
baggage of my young citizens, and laid a sacrilegious hand on their
pistoles. Poor youths ! How they were to pay their reckoning, it
was not for me to presume even to guess, for most assuredly I
stripped them of all the natural means. After this feat, I decamped
as expeditiously as my legs could carry me from the town, and took
the direction of Merida, without caring a curse what became of the
young brood I had plucked.
" Such a windfall as this placed me in a condition of travelling
merrily. Though in the very blush of youth, a certain forecast was
not wanting to carry me discreetly through the world, and keep my
head above water. It must be admitted without question, that I
was a youth of forward parts for my age, and unfettered by the pre-
judices of innocence. I determined to buy a mule, and cheapened
one at the first market town. My knapsack was metamorphosed
into a portmanteau, and by degrees I began to put on the man of
consequence. On the third day a man came across me singing
vespers, with lungs like a pair of bellows on the highway. By his
air, he seemed to be a musician of the church establishment, and I
accosted him accordingly. 'Well done, my holy howler of the
hallelujahs! You sing your penitential ditties at a good jovial
pitch. To all appearance you sol-fa with your whole heart and
soul.' 'Good sir,' replied he, 'I belong, with your good leave, to
the musical department of the catholic churcK; and it is my com-
mon practice to keep my devotion and my wind in play by the re-
hearsal of an anthem or two as I travel along the road.'
"With this disposition to be sociable, we soon got into conversa-
tion. It was clear to me that I had fallen in with a character not
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 269
to be despised in point of shrewdness, nor indisposed to society and
merriment. He was four or five-and-twenty. My companion being
on foot, I slackened my pace, for the pleasure of chatting with him.
Among other things, we talked about Toledo. *I am perfectly
well acquainted with that city,' said the brazen-lunged torturer of
anthems. ' It was my residence for a considerable time, and my
connections there are not altogether contemptible.' ' And in what
part of the town,' interrupted I, 'did you reside?' 'In the New
Street,' was his answer. ' I was hand in glove with Don Vincent
de Buena Garra, Don Matthias de Cordello, and two or three other
gentlemen of very considerable fashion. We lived together, took
our meals at the same mess, and, in short, were scarcely ever asunder.
It was a charming society I' This avowal was no small surprise to
me, for it is to be understood that the gentlemen whose names he
cited with so pompous an air were the very sharpers with whom I
had been affiliated at Toledo. ' Why, thou degenerate vicar choral I'
exclaimed I, ' these fine blades of whom thou hast been boasting
are among the number of my acquaintance also, for I too have
lived with them in the New Street; we were hand in glove, took our
meals at the same mess, and, in short, were scarcely ever asunder.'
' You are a wag I' replied he, with a knowing wink ; ' that is to say,
you got into the gang three years ago, when I left it.' ' My motive
for quitting such a worshipful fraternity,' resumed I, ' was an itch
for travelling. I mean to make the tour of Spain. A little more
knowledge of the world will make me quite another thing.' ' Doubt-
less,' said he, ' there is no possible way but travelling to rub off the
rust, or to bring wit, talent, and address to perfection. It is for the
self-same reason that I too turned my back upon Toledo, though
the time glided away there very agreeably. But thanks to a kind
providence, which has yoked me with a laborer in my own vine-
yard, when I least expected it. Let us join our forces, let us travel
the same road, let us make a joint stock of our neighbors' purses,
let us rob, let us cheat, let us avail ourselves of every opportunity
that may offer of exemplifying our theory, and improving our prac-
tice, in the noble art on which our skill is employed.'
" The proposal was made in so candid a spirit, so like a citizen of
the world, untainted with the selfishness of your honest men, that
I closed in with it at once. My confidence was surrendered at the
first summons to the frankness with which he volunteered his own.
We spoke our free hearts each to the other. I dilated all my pil-
grimage, and he spake of most disastrous chances, of moving acci-
dents through which he had passed even from his boyish days to
this very moment of his ripe and rampant roguery. It appeared
that he was on his way from Portalegre, whence he had been obliged
270 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
to decamp with the utmost expedition on account of a little swind-
ling transaction in which his luck happened not to keep pace with
his ingenuity. The habit he wore was sacrilegiously adopted as a
cloak to his person and real character, since he thought it safest to
be near the church, however far from God. Thus did we two share
all our counsel, and pledge our brother's vows, till we grew together
like a double cherry, and determined, with two seeming bodies but
one heart, to incorporate our voices and minds in some master-stroke
at Merida. If it took, well and good ; if not, we had only to cut
and run. From this moment, community of goods, that pure and
simple feature of patriarchal life, was enacted as a law between us.
Moralez, it is true, — for that was my fellow-traveller's name,— did
not find himself in the most splendid condition possible. His funds
were limited to five or six ducats, with a few little articles in a bag.
I therefore was the moneyed man of the firm ; but then there was
brass in his forehead for an inexhaustible coinage, and the seeming
of a saint when he played the devil most. So on we journeyed
on the ride and tie principle, and arrived in humble cavalcade at
Merida.
" We put up at an inn near the skirts of the town, where my
comrade changed his dress. When he had rigged himself in lay-
man's attire, we took a turn up and down to reconnoitre the ground,
and see if we could pick out some opportunity of laboring in our
vocation. Had it been our good fortune to have lived before Homer,
that old apologist for sharping by wholesale would have dignified
our excursion with a simile.
' Not half so keen, fierce vultures of the chase
Stoop from the mountains on the feathered race,' Ac.
To descend into plain prose, we were ruminating on the chapter of
accidents, and hammering out some theme for the employment of
our industry, when we espied a gray-headed old gentleman in the
street, sword in hand, defending himself against three men who
were thrusting at him with all their might and main. The unfair-
ness of the match was what stuck in my throat ; so that flying, with
the spirit of a prize-fighter, to see fair play, I made common cause
with the old man. Moralez followed up my blows. We proved
ourselves a match for the three assailants, and put them completely
to the rout.
" Our rescued friend was profuse in his acknowledgments. ' We
are in rapture,' said I, ' at our good luck in being here so seasonably
for your assistance ; but let us at least know to whom we have been
so fortunate as to be serviceable ; and what inducement those three
men could possibly have for their murderous attempt.' 'Geiitle-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 271
men,' replied he, ' my obligations are too great to hesitate about
satisfying your curiosity ; my name is Jerome de Moyadas, a gen-
tleman of this town, living on my means. One of these cut-throat
rascals, from whom you have rescued me, professes to be in love
with my daughter. He asked her of me in marriage within these
few days ; and for want of gaining my consent in a quiet way, has
just attempted to force himself into my daughter's good graces by
sending me into the other world.' 'And may we take the liberty,'
rejoined I, 'of inquiring further, why you were so obdurate to the
proposals of this enamored swain ?' ' I will explain the whole to
. you at once,' said he. ' I had a brother, a merchant in this town ;
his name was Austin. Two months ago he happened to be at Cala-
trava, and took up his abode with his correspondent, Juan Velez de
la Membrilla. They got to be as loving as turtles ; and my brother,
to clinch the connection, engaged my daughter Florence to his good
friend's son, not doubting but he had influence enough with me to
redeem his pledge when he returned to Merida. Accordingly, he no
sooner opened himself on the subject than I consented out of pure
fraternal affection. He sent Florence's picture to Calatrava ; but,
alas ! he did not live to put the finishing hand to his own work. We
laid him with his forefathers three weeks ago ! On his death-bed,
he besought me not to dispose of my girl but in favor of his corres-
pondent's son. I satisfied his mind on that point ; and this is the
reason why I have refused Florence to the suitor by whom I was
assaulted, though the match would have been a very desirable one.
But my word is my idol ; and we are in daily expectation of Juan
Velez de la Membrilla's heir, who is to be my son-in-law, though I
know no more of him, nor of his father, than if they were just
imported from an undiscovered island. But I beg pardon ; this
is an old man's garrulity. Yet you yourselves led me into the
scrape.'
" This tale did I swallow with a greedy ear ; and pouncing at once
upon a part to play, which my fruitful imagination suggested, I put
on an air of inordinate surprise, and ventured at all hazards to lift
my eyes upward to a purer region. Then turning to my father-in-
law, with an expression of feeling which nothing but hypocrisy could
personate, ' Ah ! Signer de Moyadas, is it possible that, on my arri-
val at Merida, I should enjoy the heartfelt triumph of rescuing from
foul assassination the honored parent of my peerless love ?' This
exclamation produced all the astonishment it was levelled to excite
in the old citizen. Even Moralez himself stared like an honest man,
and showed by his face that there was a degree of impudence to
which his conceptions had not hitherto risen. 'What! do not my
ears deceive me ?' exclaimed the old gentleman. * And are you really
272 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
the son of my brother's correspondent?' ' Really and truly, Signor
Jerome de Moyadas,' rejoined I, with impregnable effrontery, and a
hug round his neck that had nearly sent him after his brother.
* Behold the selected mortal of his species, to whose arms the ador-
able Florence is devoted I But these nuptial anticipations, trans-
porting as they are, must yield to the anguish of my soul for the
demise of their founder. Poor Austin I He is gone, and we must
all follow ! I should be ingratitude personified, if my heart was not
lacerated and rent by the death of a man to whom I owe all my
hopes of bliss.' At the term of this period, I squeezed good Jerome's
weasand once more, and drew the back of my hand across my eyes, .
to wipe away the tears it had not been convenient to shed. Moralez,
who by this time had conned over the pretty pickings to be made
out of this joggle, was not wanting to play his underpart. He passed
himself off for my servant, and improved upon his master in lamen-
tation for the untimely death of Signor Austin. ' My honored mas-
ter Jerome 1' exclaimed he, * what a loss have you sustained, since
your brother is no more 1 He was such an honest man I Honest
men are not to be met with every day. A superfine sample of com-
merce! A dealer in friendship without percentage! A dealer in
merchandise without an underhand advantage 1 A dealer who dealt
as dealers very seldom do deal.'
" We had our hands to play against a man who was a novice at
the game. Simple and gullible, so far from smelling out the rat, he
took his stink for a nosegay. * And why,' said he, ' did you not come
straight to my house ? It was not friendly to put up at an inn. On
the footing we are likely to be upon, there should be none of those
punctilios.' ' Sir,' said Moralez, helping me out of the scrape, ' my
master is a little too much given to stand upon ceremony. Though
to be sure, in the present instance, he is in some degree excusable
for declining to appear before you in this uncouth trim. We have
been robbed upon the road, and have lost all our travelling equip-
age.' ' My lad,' interrupted I, ' has lei; the cat out of the bag, Signor
de Moyadas. This unlucky accident has prevented me from paying
my respects sooner. True love is diflBdent ; nor could I venture in
this garb into the presence of a mistress who was unacquainted with
my person. I was therefore waiting the return of a servant whom I
have sent to Calatrava.' 'Such a trifle,' rejoined the old man, 'must
not deprive us of your company ; and I insist upon it, that you make
my house your home fjom this very moment.'
" With such sort of importunity, he forced me into his family : but
as we were on our way, the pretended robbery was a natural topic of
conversation ; and I should have made light of my baggage, though
the loss was very considerable, had not Florence's picture unluckily
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 273
formed a part of the booty ! The old codger chuckled at that, and ob-
served, that such a loss was easily repaired : the original was worth
five hundred per cent, more than the copy. To make me amends, as
soon as we got home, he called his daughter, a girl of not more than
sixteen, with a person to have reclaimed a libertine, if beauty ever
possessed that power except in romance. ' You behold,' said he,
* the bale of goods my late brother has consigned to you.' ' 0, my
good sir !' exclaimed I, in an impassioned tone, ' words are not want-
ing to assure me that this must be the lovely Florence : those be-
witching features are engraven on my memory, their impression is
indelible on my heart. If the portrait I have lost, the mere outline
of these embodied charms, could kindle passion by its cold and life-
less likeness, judge what must be my agitation, my transport at this
moment.' ' Such language is too flattering to be sincere,' said Flor-
ence ; * nor am I so weak and vain as to be persuaded that my merits
warrant it.' 'That is right; interchange your fine speeches, my
children I' This was a good-natured encouragement from the father,
who at once left me alone with his daughter, and taking Moralez
aside, said to him, ' My friend, those who made so free with your
baggage, doubtless did not stand upon any ceremony with your
money,' * Very true, sir,' answered my colleague ; * an overpowering
band of robbers poured down upon us near Castil-Blazo, and left us
not a rag but what we carry on our backs ; but we are in momentary
expectation of receiving bills of exchange, and then we shall appear
once more like ourselves.'
" * While you are waiting for your bills of exchange,' replied the
old man, taking a purse out of his pocket, ' here are a hundred pis-
toles with which you may do as you please.' 'O, sir!' rejoined
Moralez, as if he were shocked, * my master will never take them.
You do not know him. Heaven and earth! he is a man of the nicest
scruples in money matters. Not one of your shabby fellows, always
sponging upon his friends, and ready to take up money wherever he
can get it ! Running in debt is ratsbane to him. If he is to beg his
bread or go into a hospital, why, there is an end of it ! but as for
borrowing, he will never be reduced to that.' 'So much the
better,' said the good burgess : ' I value him the more for his in-
dependence. Running in debt is a mean thing; it ought to be
ratsbane to him and everybody else. Your people of quality, to be
sure, may plead prescription in their favor ; there is a sort of privi-
leged swindling, not incompatible with high honor, in high life. If
tradesmen were to be paid, they would be too nearly on a level with
their employers. But as your master has such upright principles,
heaven forbid they should be violated in this house! Since any
offer of pecuniary assistance would hurt his feelings, we must say
18
274 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
no more about it.' As the point seemed to be settled, the purse
was for steering its course back into the pocket ; but my provident
partner laid hold of Signor de Moyadas by the arm, and delayed the
convoy. ' Stay, sir,' said he : * whatever aversion my master may
have to borrowing on a general principle, and considered as borrow-
ing, yet there is a light in which, with good management, he may
he brought to look kindly on your hundred pistoles. In fact, it is
only in a mercantile point of view, as an affair of debtor and
creditor between strangers, that he holds this formal doctrine ; but
he is free and easy enough where he is on a family footing. Why,
there is his own father ! It is only ask and have ; and he does ask
and have accordingly. Now you are going to be a second father to
him, and are fairly entitled to be put on the same confidential foot-
ing. He is a young man of nice discrimination, and will doubtless
think you entitled to the compliment.'
" By thus shifting his ground, Moralez got possession of the old
gentleman's purse. As for the girl and myself, we were engaged in
a little agreeable flirting; but were soon joined by our honored
parent, who interrupted our tete-d-tite. He told Florence how much
he was obliged to me, and expressed his gratitude to myself, in
terms which left no doubt of our being a very happy family. I
made the most of so favorable a disposition, by telling the good
man, that if he would bestow on me an acknowledgment the near-
est to my heart, he must hasten my marriage with his daughter.
My eagerness was not taken amiss. He assured me that in three
days at latest I should be a happy bridegroom, and that instead of
six thousand ducats, the fortune he had promised to give my wife,
he would make it up ten, as a substantial proof how deeply he felt
himself indebted to me for the service I had rendered him.
"Here we were, therefore, quite at home with our good friend
Jerome de Moyadas, sumptuously entertained, and catching every
now and then a vista vision of ten thousand ducats, with which we
proposed to march off abruptly from Merida. Our transports, how-
ever, were not without their alloy. It was by no means improbable
that within three days the bond jide son of Juan Velez de la Mera-
brilla might come and interrupt our sport. This fear had for its
Inundation more than the weakness of our nerves. On the very
next morning, a sort of clodpole, with a portmanteau across his
shoulders, knocked at the door of Florence's father. I was not at
home at the time, but my colleague had to bear the brunt of it.
* Sir,' said the rustic to our sagacious friend, ' I belong to the young
gentleman at Calatrava who is to be your son-in-law — to Signor de
la Membrilla. We have both just come off our journey : he will be
here in an instant, and sent me forward to prepare you for his
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 276
arrival.' Hardly had these unaccountable tidings been announced,
when the master appeared in person; which stretched the old
fellow's blinkers into a stare, and put Moralez a little to the blush.
" Young Pedro was what we call a tall fellow of his inches. He
began at once paying his compliments to the master of the house ;
but the good man did not give him time to finish his speech, and
turning towards my partner in iniquity, asked what was the mean- -
ing of all this. Hereupon Moralez, whose power of face was not to
be exceeded by any human impudence, boldly asserted our identity,
and said to the old gentleman, 'Sir, these two men here before you
belong to the gang which pillaged us on the highway. I have a
perfect recollection of their features ; and in particular could swear
to him who has the effrontery to call himself the son of Signor Juan
Velez de la Membrilla.' The old citizen gulped down the lies of
Moralez, like nectar, and told the intruders, on the supposition
of their being the impostors, ' Gentlemen, you are come the day
after the fair : the trick was a very good one, but it will not pass ;
the enemy has taken the ground before you. Pedro de la Mem-
brilla has been under this roof since yesterday.' ' Have all your wits
about you,' answered the young man from Calatrava ; ' you are
nursing a viper in your bosom. Be assured that Juan Velez de la
Membrilla has neither chick nor child but myself.' 'And what
relation is the hangman to you ?' replied the old dupe : ' you are
better known than liked in this house. Can you look this young
man in the face? or can you deny that you robbed his master?' 'If
I were anywhere but under your roof,' rejoined Pedro, in a rage, 'I
would punish the insolence of this scoundrel who fancies to pass me
off for a highwayman. He is indebted for his safety to your presence,
which puts a curb upon my choler. Good sir,' pursued he, 'you
are grossly imposed on. I am the favored youth to whom your
brother Austin has promised your daughter. Is it your pleasure for
me to produce the whole correspondence with my father on the sub-
ject of the impending match ? Will you be satisfied with Florence's
picture, sent me by him as a present a little while before his death?'
No,' put in the old burgess crustily ; ' the picture will work just
as strongly on my conviction as the letters. I am perfectly aware
by what chance they all fell into your hands ; and if you will take
a stupid fellow's advice, Merida will soon be rid of such rubbish.
A quick march may save you a trouncing.' ' This is beyond all
bearing,' screamed out the young roister, with an overwhelming
vehemence. ' My name shall never be stolen from me, and assumed
by a common cheat with impunity ; neither shall my person be con-
founded with that of a freebooter. • There are those in this town
who can identify me ; they are forthcoming, and shall expose the
276 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
fallacy by which you are prejudiced against me.' With this assu-
rance he withdrew, attended by his servant, and Moralez kept posses-
sion of the field. The adventure had even the effect of determining
Jerome de Moyadas to fix the wedding for the very time being.
Accordingly he went his way, for the purpose of giving the neces-
sary orders for the celebration.
" Though my colleague in knavery was well enough pleased to
see Florence's father in a humor so pat for our purposes, he was
not without certain scruples of conscience about our safety. It was
to be feared lest the probable proceedings of Pedro might be fol-
lowed up by awkward consequences ; so that he waited impatiently
for my arrival to make me acquainted with what had occurred. I
found him over head and ears in a brown study. 'What is the
matter, my friend?' said I; 'seemingly there is something upon
your mind.' * Indeed there is, and something that will be minded,'
answered he. At the same time he let me into the affair. ' Now
you may judge,' added he after a pause, ' whether we have not some
food for reflection. It is your ill star, rash contriver, which has
thrown us into this perplexity. The idea, it must be confessed, was
full of fire and ingenuity ; had it answered in the application, your
renown would have been emblazoned in the chronicles of our frater-
nity; but according to present appearances, the run of luck is against
us, and my counsels incline to a prudent avoidance of all explana-
tions, by quietly sneaking off with the market-penny we have made
of the silly old fellow's credulity.'
" ' Master Moralez,' replied I to this desponding speech, ' you give
way to difficulties with more haste than good speed. Such pusilla-
nimity does but little honor to Don Matthias de Cordel, and the
other gallant blades with whom you were affiliated at Toledo. After
serving a campaign under such experienced generals, it is not sol-
dierly to shrink from the perils of the field. For my part, I am
resolved to fight the battles of these heroes over again, or, in more
vulgar phrase, to prove myself a chip from the old blocks. The
precipice which makes your head turn giddy only stiffens my sinews
to surmount the toils of the way, and push forward to the end of
our career. 'If you arrive at your journey's end in a whole skin,'
said my companion, 'I will myself be your biographer, and set your
fame far above all the parallels of Plutarch.'
"Just as Moralez was finishing this learned allusion, Jerome de
Moyadas came in. * You shall be my son-in-law this very evening,'
said he. 'Your servant must have given you an account of what
has just passed. What say you to the impudence of the scoundrel
who wanted to make me believe that he was the son of my brother's
correspondent?' * Honored sir,' answered I, with a melancholy air.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 277
and in a tone of voice the most insinuating that ever cajoled the
easy faith of a dotard, * I feel within me that it is not in my nature
to carry on an imposition without betraying it in my countenance.
It now becomes necessary to make you a sincere confession. I am
not the son of Juan Velez de la Membrilla.' ' What is it you tell
me?' interrupted the old man, out of breath with surprise, and out
of his wits with apprehension. ' So, then, you are not the young
man to whom my brother.' . . . ' For pity's sake, sir,' interrupted
I in my turn, 'condescend to give me a hearing patiently to the
end of my story. For these eight days have I doted to distraction
on your daughter ; and this dotage, this distraction, has riveted me
to Merida. Yesterday, after having rescued you from your danger,
I was making up my mind to ask her of you in marriage ; but you
gave a check to my passion, and put a tie upon my tongue, by the
intelligence thaf she was destined for another. You told me that
your brother, on his death-bed, enjoined you to give her to Pedro
de la Membrilla; that your word was pledged, and that you were
the sworn vassal and bondman of your veracity. These circum-
stances, it must be owned, were overwhelming in the extreme ; and
my romantic passion, at the last gasp of its despair, gained breath
by the stratagem with which the god of love inspired me. I must
at the same time declare, that a trick is at the best but a mean
thing, and, however sanctified by the motive, my conscience recoiled
at the delusion. Yet I could not but think that my pardon would
be granted on the discovery, when it should come out that I was an
Italian prince, travelling through this country as a private gentle-
man. My father reigns supreme over a nest of inaccessible valleys,
lying between Switzerland, the Milanese, and Savoy. It could not
but occur to me that you would be agreeably surprised when I
should unfold to you my birth, and having married Florence under
my fictitious character, should announce to her the rank she had
attained, with all the rapture of an enamored husband, and all the
stage effect of a hero in tragedy or romance. But heaven,' pursued
I, with a hypocritical softening down of my accent, ' has visited my
sins by cutting me off from such a perennial stream of joy. Pedro
de la Membrilla was introduced upon the scene ; he must have his
name back again, whatever the restitution may cost me. Your pro-
mise binds you hand and foot to fix upon him for your son-in-law ;
it is your duty to give him the preference, without taking my rank
and station into the account ; without mercy on the forlorn condi-
tion to which you are going to reduce me. To be sure, it might be
said— but then I should say it, who ought not to say it— that your
brother had only the authority of an uncle over your daughter, that
you are her father, and that there is more right and reason in dis-
278 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
charging an actual debt of gratitude towards your preserver, than
in being mealy-mouthed about a verbal promise, which would press
but lightly on the conscience of the most scrupulous casuist.'
" ' Yes, without doubt, that argument is indisputable,' exclaimed
Jerome de Moyadas ; * and on that ground there can no longer be
any question between you and Pedro de la Membrilla. If my
brother Austin were still living, he would not think it bad morality
to give the preference to a man who has saved my life, nor a bad
speculation to close the bargain with a prince who has not disdained
to court our alliance. It were an absolute suicide on the part of all
my opening prospects, the frantic desperation of an acknowledged
incurable, not to dispose of my daughter so illustriously, not to
solicit your highness's acceptance of her hand.' 'And yet, sir,' re-
sumed I, ' these things are not to be determined without due delib-
eration ; look at your own interests and safety with a microscopic
eye ; for though the illustrious channel through which my blood has
flowed for ages.' . , . 'You are scarcely serious,' interrupted he, 'in
supposing that I can hesitate for a moment. No, may it please
your highness ; it is my most humble and earnest request that you
will deign, on this very evening, to honor the happy Florence with
your hand.' ' Well, then,' said I, ' be it so ; go yourself and be the
bearer of the unlooked-for tidings ; announce to her the brilliant
career of her exalted destiny.'
" While the good citizen was putting his best foot foremost, to
instill into his daughter that she had made the conquest of a prince,
Moralez, who had taken in the whole conversation with greedy ear,
threw himself upon his knees before me, and did homage in these
bantering terms : ' Most potent, grave, and august Italian prince,
son of a sovereign supreme over a nest of inaccessible valleys, lying
between Switzerland, the Milanese, and Savoy, permit me to
humble myself at your highness's feet, in humble acknowledgment
of the ecstasy into which you have thrown me. By the honor of a
swindler, you are one of the wonders of our world. I always thought
myself the first man in the line; but in good truth I doff my bonnet
before you, whose genius seems to supersede the lessons of experi-
ence.' ' Then you are no longer uneasy about the result,' said I, to
my colleague in iniquity. ' O ! as to that, not in the least,' answered
he. ' I no longer care a fig for Master Pedro ; let him come as soon
as he pleases, we are a match for him.' Here we are, then, Moralez
and myself, safe seated on the saddle, and rising in our stirrups.
We even went so far as to begin settling the course we should pursue
with the fortune, on which we reckoned so securely, that if it had
already been in our pockets, we could not have chuckled more tri-
umphantly over the proverb of ' a bird in the hand.' Yet we were
ADVENTUItES OF GIL BLAS. 279
not in actual possession, wliicli is more than legal right ; and the
sequel of the adventure proved to us, that many things fall out
between the cup and the lip.
" We very soon saw the young man of Calatrava returning. He
was accompanied by two citizens and by an alguazil, whose dignity
was as much supported by his whiskers, and by the lowering over-
cast of his swarthy aspect, as by the weight of his official character.
Florence's father was of the party. 'Signer de Moyadas,' said
Pedro to him, ' here are three honest people come to answer for me ;
they are acquainted with my person, and can tell you who I am.'
' Yes, undoubtedly,' exclaimed the alguazil, ' I can depose to the
fact. I certify to all those whom it may concern, that you are
known to me ; your name is Pedro, and you are the only son of
Juan Velez de la Membrilla : whosoever dares to maintain the con-
trary is an impostor.' ' I believe you implicitly, master alguazil,'
said the good creature Jerome de'Moyadas, rather dryly. ' Your evi-
dence is gospel to me, as well as that of these fair and honest trades-
men you have brought with you. I am fully satisfied that the young
gentleman on whose behalf you come is the only son of my brother's
correspondent. But what is that to me ? I am no longer in the
humor to give him my daughter; so there is an end of that.'
" ' Oh ! then it is quite another matter,' said the alguazil. ' I
only come to your house for the purpose of assuring you that this
young man is no impostor. You have the authority of a parent
over your child, and no one has any right to dictate to you how you
are to marry her, and whether you will or no.' ' Neither do I on
my part,' interrupted Pedro, ' pretend to lay any force on the incli-
nations of Signor de Moyadas ; but he will perhaps allow me to ask
him why he has so suddenly changed his resolution. Has he any
reason to be dissatisfied with me ? Alas 1 let me at least understand
that, in losing the sweet hope of becoming his son-in-law, my pro-
mised bliss has not been wrested from me by any misconduct of my
own.' ' I have no complaint to make of you,' answered the old man ;
'nay, I will even tell you more ; it is with sincere sorrow that I find
myself under the necessity of breaking my word with you, and I
heartily beseech you to forgive me for having done so. I am per-
suaded that you are too generous to bear me any ill-will for having
thrown the balance into the scale of a rival, who has saved my life. '
You see him here,' pursued he, introducing my noble self; 'this is
the illustrious personage who threw round me the shield of his pro-
tection in my great peril : and, the better still to apologize for my
seemingly harsh treatment of yourself, you are to know that he is
an Italian prince.'
"At these last words, Pedro was dumfounded, and looked as if
280 AJD VENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
he could not help it. The two tradesmen opened their eyes as wide
as they could stare, with surprise at finding themselves for the first
time in princely society. But the alguazil, in the habit of looking
at things with the cross eye of suspicion, divined most perspicuously
that this marvellous adventure must be a complete humbug ; and
the verification of the prophecy was calculated to put money into
the pocket of the prophet. He therefore conned over my counte-
nance with a very inquisitive regard ; but as my features, which
were new to justice, threw him out most cruelly from hunting
down the game he was in chase of, he had no alternative but to try
his luck on my companion. Unfortunately for my highness of the
inaccessible valleys, he knew again the hang-dog features of Mor-
alez ; and recollecting to have seen him within the purlieus of a
jail, 'Ay, ay !' exclaimed he, ' this is one of my established custom-
ers. This gentleman is a particular acquaintance of mine, and you
may take his character from me for one of the rankest rascals within
the kingdoms and principalities of Spain.' ' Softly ! look before
you leap, most adventurous alguazil,' .said Jerome de Moyadas ;
' this lad, of whom you draw so unfavorable a picture, is in the
travelling retinue of a prince.' 'So much the better,' retorted the
alguazil ; ' a man would not desire clearer evidence on which to
bring in his verdict. If we can but hang the servant, we shall soon
send the master to the devil. The case is as undeniable as a feed
counsel's plea ; these pleasant sparks are a couple of fortune-hunt-
ers, who have laid their heads together to take you in. I am an
old hound upon this scent; so that, by way of proof presumptive
that these merry vagabonds are within the contemplation of the
law in that case provided, I shall lodge them where they will be
well taken care of. They will have plenty of time for meditation
under the chastising philosophy of a turnkey ; or should confine-
ment fail to mend their morals, we have a sort of tangible discip-
line, which insinuates reformation by the inlet of a smarting hide.'
'Stop there, and bethink you in good time, master officer,' rejoined
the old gentleman : ' we must not draw the cord tighter than it will
bear. You never make any bones, you hangers-on of the law, about
hurting the feelings of better men than yourselves. May not this
servant be a common cheat, without his master being a swindler ?
Princes are persons of honor as a matter of course ; yet the retainers
to a court are inordinate rascals; it requires no conjurer to find
that out.' 'Are you playing into the hands of your deluders, with
your princes ?' interrupted the alguazil. 'This new manufacturer of
false pretences is a proficient, take my word for it; but I shall
quench his zeal in the service, and gravel the ingenuity of his part-
ner, with a whereas and a commitment in due form. The scouts of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 281
justice are all round the door, who will worry their game every inch
of the chase, if they do not suffer themselves to be taken quietly on
their form. So come along, may it please your serene highness ; let
us proceed to our destination.'
" This upshot of the business was a death-blow to me, as well as
to Moralez ; and our confusion did but infuse doubts into the mind
of Jerome de Moyadas, or rather burned, sunk, and destroyed us in
his esteem. He began rather to think, not without reason, that we
had some little design to impose on his credulity. Nevertheless he
acted on this occasion in the spirit of a man of honor and a gentle-
man. * My good friend and protector,' said he to the alguazil, ' your
_ conjectures may be without foundation ; on the other hand, they
may turn out to have too much truth in them. Whichever of these
alternatives may be the fact, let us not look too curiously into their
characters. They are both young, and have time enough for
amendment if they want it ; let them go their ways, and withdraw
whithersoever it may best please them. Make no opposition, I be-
seech you, to their safe egress ; it is a favor which you may consider
as done to me, and my motive for asking it is to acquit myself of my
debt to them.' ' If my heart was not too soft for my profession,'
answered the alguazil, ' I should lodge these pretty gentlemen in
limbo, in defiance of all your pleadings in their favor ; but your
eloquence and my susceptibility have relax,ed the stern demeanor of
justice for this evening. Let them, however, leave town on the spur
of the occasion ; for if I come across them to-morrow, and there is
any faith in an alguazil, they shall see such sport as will be no sport
for them.'
" When it was signified to Moralez and me, culprits as we were,
that we were to be let off scot free, we polished up the brass upon
our foreheads a little. It was time now to bounce and swagger, and
to maintain that we were men of undeniable respectability ; but the
alguazil looked askew at us, and muttered that least said was
soonest mended. I do not know how, but those gentry have a
strange knack of curbing our genius; they are complete lords of
the ascendant. Florence and her dowry, therefore, were lost to
Pedro de la Membrilla by a turn of the dice, and we may conclude
that he was received as the son-in-law of Jerome de Moyadas. I
took to my heels with my companion. We blundered on the road
to Truxillo, with the consolation at our hearts of having at least
pocketed a hundred pistoles by our frolic. An hour before night-
fall we passed through a little village, with the intention of putting
up for the evening at the next stage. An inn of very tolerable ap-
pearance for the place attracted our notice. The landlord and
landlady were sitting at the door, on a long bench such as usually
282 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
graces a pot-house porch. Our host, a tall man, withered, and with
one foot in the grave, was tinkling on a cracked guitar to the un-
bounded emolument of his wife, whose faculties seemed to hang in
rapture on the performance. 'Gentlemen,' cried out the intrepid
tavern-keeper, when he found that we were not upon the halt, ' you
will do well to stop here ; you will fare worse farther oflf. There is
a devil of a three leagues to the nearest village, and you will find
nothing to make you amends for what you leave behind ; you may
assure yourselves of that. Take a word of advice, know when you
are well used ; I will treat you with the fat of the land, and charge
you at the lowest rate.' There was no resisting such a plea. We
came up to our courteous entertainers, paid them the compliments
of course, and sitting down by their side, the conversation was sup-
ported by all four on the different topics of the day. Our host an-
nounced himself as an officer of the Holy Brotherhood, and his rib
was a fat, laughing squab of a woman, with outward good nature,
but with an eye to make the most of her commodities.
*' Our discourse was broken in upon by the arrival of from twelve
to fifteen riders, some mounted on mules, others on horseback,
followed by about thirty sumpter-mules laden with packages. ' Ah,
what a princely retinue !' exclaimed the landlord at the sight of so
much company; 'where can I put them all?' In an instant the
village was crammed full of men and beasts. As luck would have
it, there was near the inn an immense barn, where the sumpter-
mules and their packages were secured ; the saddle-mules and horses
were taken care of in other places. As for their masters, they
thought less about bespeaking beds than about calling for the bill
of fare, and ordering a good supper. The host and hostess, with a
servant girl whom they kept, were all upon the alert to make things
agreeable. They laid a heavy hand upon all the fowls in the
poultry-yard. These precious roasts, with some undisguised rabbits,
cats in the masquerade of a fricassee, and a deluging tureen of soup,
stinking of cabbage and greasy with mutton fat, were enough to
have given a sickener to the inveterate stomachs of a regiment.
" As for Moralez and myself, we cast a scrutinizing eye on these
troopers ; nor were they behindhand in passing their secret judg-
ments upon us. At last we came together in conversation, and it
was proposed on our part, if they had no objection, that we should
all sup together. They assured us that they should be extremely
happy in our company. Here we are, then, all seated round the
table. There was one among them who seemed to take the lead ;
and for whom the rest, though in the main they were on the most
intimate terms with him, thought it necessary on some occasions to
testify their deference. In case of a dispute, this high gentleman
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 283
assumed the umpire; he talked in a tone above the common pitch,
going so far sometimes as to contradict in no very courtly phrase
the sentiments of others, who, far from giving him back his own,
were ready to swear to his assertions and crouch under his rebuke.
By accident the discourse turned on Andalusia. Moralez happening
to launch out into the praise of Seville, the man about whom I have
been talking said to him, ' My good fellow-traveller, you are ringing
the chimes on the city which gave birth to me ; at least I am a
native of the neighborhood, since the little town of Mayrena is
answerable for my appearance in the world.' 'I have the same
story to tell you,' answered my companion. ' I am also of Mayrena,
.and it is scarcely possible but that our families should be acquainted.
Whose son are you?' 'An honest notary's,' replied the stranger,
* by name Martin Moralez.' ' As fate will have it,' exclaimed my
comrade with emotion, 'the adventure is very remarkable! You
are, then, my eldest brother, Manuel Moralez.' ' Exactly so,' said
the other ; ' and if my senses do not deceive me, you your very self
are my little brother Lewis, whom I left in the cradle when I turned
my back upon my father's house?' ' You are right in your conjec-
tures,' answered my honest colleague. At this discovery, they both
got up from table, and almost hugged the breath out of each other's
bodies. At last Signor Manuel said to the company, ' Gentlemen,
this circumstance is altogether marvellous. By mere chance, I
have met with a brother, and have been challenged by him, whom
I have not seen for more than twenty years: allow me to introduce
him.' At once all the travellers, who had risen from their seats
out of curiosity and good manners, paid their compliments to the
younger Moralez, and made him run the gauntlet through their
salutations. When these were over, the party returned to the
table ; nor did they think any more of an adjournment. Bedtime
never entered into their heads. The two brothers sat next to one
another, and talked in a whisper about their family affairs; the
other guests plied the bottle, and made merry in a louder key.
" Lewis had a long conference with Manuel, and afterwards
taking me aside, said to me, 'AH these troopers belong to the
household of the Count de Montanos, whom the king has very lately
appointed to the vice-regal government of Majorca. They are con-
voying the equipage of the viceroy to Alicant, where they are to
embark. My brother, who has risen to be steward to that noble-
man, proposes to take me along with him ; and on the difficulty I
started about leaving you, he told me that if you would be of the
party, he would procure you a good berth. My dear friend,'
pursued he, ' I advise you not to stand out against this proposal.
Let us take flight together for the island of Majorca. If we find
284 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
our quarters pleasant, we will fix there ; and if tliey are otherwise,
we have nothing to do but to return into Spain.'
" I accepted the proposal with the best grace possible. What a
reenforcement, in the person of young Moralez and myself, to the
household of the count ! We took our departure in a body from the
inn, before daybreak. We got to the city of Alicant by long stages,
and there I bought a guitar, and arranged my dress in a manner
suited to my new destination before we embarked. Nothing ran in
my head but the island of Majorca, and Lewis Moralez was a new
man as well as myself. It should seem as though we had bid fare-
well to the rogueries of this wicked world. Yet, not to play the
liar in the ear of so rigorous a confessor as my own conscience, we
had a mind not to pass for villains incarnate, now that we had got
into company that had some pretensions to decency : and that was
the sum total of our honesty. The natural bent of our genius
remained much the same ; we were still men of business, but just
now keeping a vacation. In short, we went on board gallantly and
gayly in this lucid interval of innocence, and had no idea but of
landing at Majorca under the especial care of Neptune and ^l^olus.
Hardly, however, had we cleared the gulf of Alicant, when a sudden
and violent storm arose, enough to have frightened better men.
Now is my opportunity, or never, to speak of moving accidents by
flood ; to set the atmosphere on fire, and give a louder explosion to
the thunder-cloud ; to compare the whistling of the winds to the
factions of a populace, and the rolling of the waves to the shock of
conflicting hosts; with other such old-fashioned phraseologies as
have been heirlooms of Parnassus from time immemorial. But it is
useless to be poetical without invention. SuflBce it therefore to
say, in slang metaphor, that the storm was a devil of a storm, and
obliged us to stand in for the point of Cabrera. This is a desert
island, with a small fort, at that time garrisoned by an officer and
five or six soldiers. Our reception was hospitable and cordial.
" As it was necessary for us to stay there some days, for the pur-
pose of refitting our sails and rigging, we devised various kinds of
amusements to keep off* the foul fiend melancholy. Every one did
as seemed good in his own eyes : some played at cards, others di-
verted themselves in other ways ; but as for me, I went about ex-
ploring the island, with such of our gentry as had either a curiosity
or a taste for the picturesque. We were frequently obliged to clam-
ber from rock to rock ; for the face of the country is rugged, and the
soil scanty, presenting a scene difficult of access, but interesting from
its wildness. One day, while we were speculating on these dry and
barren prospects, and extracting a moral from the vagaries of naturt*,
who can 8well into the fruitful mother and the copious nurse, or
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 285
shrink into the lean and loathsome skeleton, as she pleases, our sense
was all at once regaled with a most delicious fragrance. We turned
as with a common impulse towards the east, whence the scent gale
seemed to come. To our utter astonishment, we discovered among
the rocks a green plat of considerable dimensions, gay with honey-
suckles more luxuriant and more odorous than even those which
thrive so greatly in the climate of Andalusia, We were not sorry to
approach nearer these delicious shrubs, which were wasting their
sweetness in such unchecked profusion, when it turned out that they
lined the entrance to a very deep cavern. The opening was wide,
and the recess in consequence partially illuminated. We were de-
termined to explore ; and descended by some stone steps overgrown
with flowers on each side, so that it was difficult to say whether the
approach was formed by art or nature. When we had got down, we
saw several little streams winding over a sand, the yellow lustre of
which outrivalled gold. These drew their sources from the contin-
ual distillation of the rock within, and lost themselves again in the
hollows of the ground. The water looked so clear, that we were
tempted to drink of it; and such was its freshness, that we made a
party to return the next day, with some bottles of generous wine,
which we were persuaded would acquire new zest from the retreat
where they were to be quaffed.
" It was not without regret that we left so agreeable a place ; nor
did we omit, on our return to the fort, boasting among our comrades
of so interesting a discovery. The commander of the fortress, how-
ever, with the warmest professions of friendship, warned us against
going any more to the cavern, with which we were so much de-
lighted. ' And why so ?' said I ; * is there anything to be afraid of?'
' Most undoubtedly,' answered he. ' The corsairs of Algiers and
Tripoli sometimes land upon this island, for the purpose of watering
at that spring. One day they surprised two soldiers of my garrison
there, whom they carried into slavery.' It was in vain that the offi-
cer assumed a tone of kind dissuasion : nothing could prevent us
from going. We fancied that he meant to play upon our fears ; and
the day following I returned to the cavern with three adventurous
blades of our establishment. We were even foolhardy enough to
leave our firearms behind as a sort of bravado. Young Moralez de-
clined being of the party : the fort and the gaming-table had more
charms for him, as well as for his brother.
" We went down to the bottom of the cave as on the preceding
day, and set some bottles of the wine we had brought with us to cool
in the rivulets. While we were enjoying them in all the luxury of
elegant conviviality, our wits set in motion by the novelty of the
scene, and the echo reverberating to the music of our guitars, we es-
286 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
pied at the mouth of the cavern several abominable faces overgrown
with whiskers ; neither did their turbans and Turkish dresses render
them a whit more amiable in our conceits. We nevertheless took it
into our heads that it was a frolic of our own party, set on by the
commanding officer of the fort, and that they had disguised them-
selves for the purpose of playing us a trick. With this impression
on our minds, we set up a horse-laugh, and allowed a quiet entrance
to about ten, without thinking of making any resistance. In a few
moments our eyes were opened to that fatal error, and we were con-
vinced, in sober sadness, that it was a corsair at the head of his crew,
come to carry us away. ' Surrender, you Christian dogs,' cried he, in
most outlandish Castilian, ' or prepare for instant death.' At the same
time the men who accompanied him levelled their pieces at us, and
our ribs would have been well lined with the contents if we had re-
sisted in the least. Slavery seemed the better alternative than death,
80 that we delivered our swords to the pirate. He ordered us to be
handcuffed and carried on board his vessel, which was moored not
far off; then, setting sail, he steered with a fair wind towards
Algiers.
"Thus were we punished for having neglected the warning given
us by the officer of the garrison. The first thing that the corsair did
was to put his hand into our pockets and make free with our money.
No bad windfall for him ! The two hundred pistoles from the green-
horns at Placentia ; the hundred which Moralez had received from
Jerome de Moyadas, and which, as ill luck would have it, were in
my custody ; all this was swept away without a single qualm of con-
science. My companions, too, had their purses well lined ; and it
was all fish that came to the net. The pirate seemed to chuckle at
80 successful a drag ; and the scoundrel, not contented with chousing
us of our cash, insulted us with his infernal Moorish witticisms : but
the edge of his satire was not half so keen as the dire necessity which
made us the subject of it. After a thousand clumsy sarcasms, he
called for the bottles which we had set to cool in the fountain ; those
irreligious Mohammedans not having scrupled to load their consci-
ences with the conveyance of the unholy fermentation. The master
and his man pledged one another in many a Christian bumper, and
drank to our better acquaintance with a most provoking mockery.
" While this farce was acting, my comrades wore a hanging look,
which testified how pleasantly their thoughts were employed. They
were so. much the more out of conceit with their captivity, as they
thought they had drawn a prize in the lottery of human life. The
island of Majorca, with all its luxuries and delights, was a melan-
choly contrast with their present situation. For my part, I had the
good sense to take things as I found them. Less put out of my way
ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 287
by my misfortune than the rest, I joined in conversation with this
transmarine joker, and showed him that wit was the common lan-
guage of Africa and of Europe. He was pleased with my accom-
modating spirit. * Young man,' said he, ' instead of groaning and
sighing, you do well to arm yourself with patience, and to fall in
with the current of your destiny. Play us a little air,' continued
he, observing that I had a guitar by my side ; ' let us have a speci-
men of your skill.' I complied Avith his command, as soon ati my
arms were loosened from their confinement, and began to thrum
away in a style that drew down the applauses of my discerning
audience. It is true that I had been taught by the best master in
Madrid, and that I played very tolerably for an amateur upon that
instrument. A song was then called for, and my voice gave equal
satisfaction. All the Turks on board testified by gestures of admi-
ration the delight with which my performance inspired them ; from
which circumstance it was but modest to conclude, that vocal music
had made no very extraordinary progress in their part of the world.
The pirate whispered in my ear, that my slavery should be no dis-
advantage to me ; and that with my talents I might reckon upon an
employment, by which my lot would be rendered not only support-
able, but happy.
" I felt somewhat encouraged by these assurances ; but, flattering
as they were, I was not without my uneasiness as to the employ-
ment, which the corsair held out as a nameless but invaluable boon.
When we arrived in the port of Algiers, a great number of persons
were collected to receive us ; and we had not yet disembarked, when
they uttered a thousand shouts of joy. Add to this, that the air re-
echoed with a confused sound of trumpets, of Moorish flutes, and
of other instruments, the fashion of that country, forming a sym-
phony of deafening clangor, but very doubtful harmony. The
occasion of these rejoicings proceeded from a false report, which
had been current about the town. It had been the general talk
that the renegado Mahomet,— meaning our amiable pirate,— had
lost his life in the attack of a large Genoese vessel; so that all his
friends, informed of his return, were eager to hail him with these
thundering demonstrations of attachment.
" We had no sooner set foot on shore, than my companions and
myself were conducted to the palace of the bashaw Soliman, where
a Christian secretary, questioning us individually one after another,
inquired into our names, our ages, our country, our religion, and our
qualifications. Then Mahomet, presenting me to the bashaw, paid
my voice more compliments than it deserved, and told him that I
played on the guitar with a most ravishing expression. This was
enough to influence Soliman in his choice of me for hia own imrne*
288 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
diate service. I took up my abode therefore in his seraglio. The
other captives were led into the public market, and sold there at the
usual rate of Christian cattle. What Mahomet had foretold to me
on shipboard was completely verified ; my condition was exactly to
my mind. I was not consigned to the stronghold of a prison, nor
kept to any works of oppressive labor. My indulgent master sta-
tioned me in a particular quarter, with five or six slaves of superior
rank, who were in momentary expectation of being ransomed, and
were therefore favored in the distribution of our tasks. The care of
watering the orange-trees and flowers in the gardens was allotted as
my portion. There could not be a more agreeable or less fatiguing
employment.
" Soliman was a man of about forty years of age, well made as to
figure, tolerably accomplished as to his mind, and as much of a
lady's man as could be expected from a Turk. His favorite was a
Cashmirian, whose wit and beauty had acquired an absolute do-
minion over his affections. He loved her even to idolatry. Not a
day but he paid his court to her by some elegant entertainment ; at
one time a concert of vocal and instrumental music, at another, a
dramatic performance after the fashion of the Turks, which fashion
implies a loose sort of comedy, where moral and modesty enter
about as much into the contemplation of the contriver as do Aris-
totle and his unities. The favorite, whose name was Farrukhnaz,
was passionately enamored of these exhibitions ; she sometimes
even got up among her own women some Arabian melodramas to
be performed before her admirer. She took some of the parts her-
self, and charmed the spectators by the abundant grace and viva-
city of her action. One day, when I was among the musicians at
one of these representations, Soliman ordered me to play on the
guitar, and to sing a solo between the acts of the piece. I had the
good fortune to give satisfaction, and was received with applause.
The favorite herself, if my vanity did not mislead me, cast glances
towards me of no unfavorable interpretation.
" On the next day, as I was watering the orange-trees in the gar-
dens, there passed close by me a eunuch, who, without stopping or
saying a word, threw down a note at my feet. I picked it up with
an emotion strangely compounded of pleasure and alarm. I crouched
upon the ground, for fear of being observed from the windows of
the seraglio ; and, concealing myself behind the boxes in which the
orange-trees were planted, opened this unexpected enclosure. There
I found a diamond of very considerable value, and these words, in
genuine Castilian: 'Young Christian, return thanks to Heaven for
your captivity. Love and fortune will render it the harbinger of
your bliss : love, if you are alive to the attractions of a fine person,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 289
and fortune, if you have the hardihood to confront danger in every
direction.'
" I could not for a moment doubt that the letter was written by
the favorite sultana : the style and the diamond were more than
presumptive evidence against her. Besides that nature did not cast
me in the mould of a coward, the vanity of keeping up a good
understanding with the mistress of a scoundrelly Mohammedan in
office, and, more than all the temptations of vanity or inclination,
the hope of cajoling her out of four times as much as the curmud-
geon her master would demand for my ransom, put me into conceit
with the intention of trying my luck at a venture, whatever risk
might be incurred in the experiment. I went on with my garden-
ing, but always harping on the means of getting into the apartment
of Farrukhnaz, or rather waiting till she opened a door of commu-
nication ; for I was clearly of opinion that she would not stop upon
the threshold, but meet me half way in the career of love and
danger. My conjecture was not altogether without foundation. The
same eunuch who had led me into this amorous reverie passed the
same way an hour afterwards, and said to me, ' Christian, have you
communed with your own determinations, and will you win a fair
lady by abjuring a faint heart?' I answered in the affirmative.
' Well then,' rejoined he, ' heaven sprinkle its dew upon your reso-
lutions I You shall see me betimes to-morrow morning.' With
this comfortable assurance, he withdrew. The following day, I
actually saw him make his appearance about eight o'clock in the
morning. He made a signal for me to go along with him : I obeyed
the summons ; and he conducted me into a kail where was a large
wrapper of canvas, which he and another eunuch had just brought
thither, with the design of carrying it to the sultana's apartment,
for the purpose of furnishing a scene for an Arabian pantomime, in
preparation for the amusement of the bashaw.
" The two eunuchs unrolled the cloth, and laid me at my length
on the proscenium ; then, at the risk of turning the farce into a
tragedy by stifling me, they rolled it up again, with its palpitating
contents. In the next place, taking hold of it at each end, they
conveyed me with impunity by this device into the chamber devoted
to the repose of the beautiful Cashmirian. She was alone with an
old slave devoted to her wishes. They helped each other to unroll
their precious bale of goods; and Farrukhnaz, at the sight of her
consignment, set up such an alarm of delight, as exhibited the
woman of the East, without forgetting her prurient propensities.
With all my natural bias towards adventure, I could not recognize
myself as at once transported into the private apartment of the
women, without something like an inauspicious damp upon my joy.
19
^90 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
The lady was aware of my feelings, and anxious to dissipate the un-
pleasant j)art of them. ' Young man,' said she, ' you have nothing
tc fear Soliman is just gone to his country-house: he is safely
lodged for the day ; so that we shall be able to entertain one another
here at our ease.'
" Hints like these rallied my scattered spirits, and gave a cast to
my countenance which confirmed the speculation of the favorite.
' You have won my heart,' pursued she, * and it is in my contempla-
tion tc soften the severity of your bondage. You seem to be worthy
of the sentiments which I have conceived for you. Though dis-
guised under the garb of a slave, your air is noble, and your physi-
ognomy of a character to recommend you to the good graces of a
lady. Such an exterior must belong to one above the common.
Unbosom yourself to me in confidence; tell me who you are. I
know that captives of superior condition and family disguise their
real circumstances, to be redeemed at a lower rate : but you have
DC inducement to practice such a deception on me ; and it would
even be a precaution revolting to my designs in your favor, since I
here pledge myself for your liberty. Deal with sincerity therefore,
and own to me at once that you are a youth of illustrious rank.'
'In good earnest then, madam,' answered I, *it would ill become
me to repay your generous partiality with dissimulation. You are
absolutely bent upon it, that 1 should intrust you with the secret of
my quality, and commands like yours are not to be questioned or
resisted. I am the son of a Spanish grandee.' And so it might
actually have been, for anything that I know to the contrary ; at
all events, the sultana gave me credit for it, so that with consider-
able self-congratulation at having fixed her regard on a gentleman
of some little figure in the world, she assured me that it only de-
pended on herself whether or no we should meet pretty often in
private. In fact, we were no niggards of our mutual good will at
the very first approaches. I never met with a woman who was more
what a man wishes her to be. She was, besides, an expert linguist,
above all in Castilian, which she spoke with fluency and purity.
When she conceived it to be time for us to part, I got by her order
into a large osier basket, with an embroidered silk covering of her
own manufacture; then the two slaves who had brought me in
were called, to carry me out as a present from the favorite to her
deluded lord ; for under this pretence it is easy to screen any amor-
ous exports from the inspection of the officers intrusted with the
superintendence of the women.
"As for Farrukhnaz and myself, we were not slack in other de-
vices to bring us together; and that lovely captive inspired me by
degrees with as much love as she herself entertained for me. Our
- ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 291
good understanding was kept a profoumi secret for full two months,
notwithstanding the extreme difficulty in a seraglio of veiling the
mysteries of love for any length of time from those uninitiated,
whose eyes are jaundiced by their own disqualification. Neither
was the discovery made at last by the means of envious spies. Au
unlucky chance disconcerted all our little arrangements, and the
features of my fortune were at once aggravated into a frown. One
day, when I had been introduced into the presence of the sultana^
in the body of an artificial dragon, invented as a machine for a
spectacle, while we were parleying most amicably together, Soli-
man, to whom we had given credit for having gone out of town,
made his unwelcome appearance. Jle entered so abruptly into his
favorite's apartment, as scarcely to leave time for the old slave to
give us notice of his approach. Still less was there any opportunity
to conceal me. Thus therefore, with all my enormities on my head,
was I the first object which presented itself to the astonished eyes
of the bashaw.
"He seemed considerably startled at the sight; and his coun-
tenance flashed with indignation on the instant. I considered my-
self as a wretch, just hovering on the brink of the grave; and death
seemed arrayed in all the paraphernalia of torture. As for Far-
rukhnaz, it was very evident, in ^ood truth, that she was miserably
frightened ; but instead of owning her crime and imploring pardon,
she said to Soliman, ■* My lord, before you pronounce my sentence,
be pleased to hear my defence. Appearances, doubtless, condemn
me^ and it must strike you that I have committed an act of treason
worthy the most dreadful punishments. It is true, I have brought
this young captive hither ; it is true that I have introduced him into
my apartment, with just such artifices as I should have used if I
had entertained a violent passion for him. And yet, I call our
great prophet to witness, in spite of these seeming irregularities, I
am not faithless to you. It was my wish to converse with this
Christian slave, for the purpose of disengaging him from his own
sect, and proselyting him to that of the true believers. But I have
found in him a principle of resistance for which I was not well
prepared. I have, however, conquered his prejudices; and he
came to give me an assurance that he would embrace Mohammed-
anism.'
" I do not mean to deny that it was an act of duty to have con-
tradicted the favorite flatly, without paying the least attention to
the dangerous predicament in which I stood ; but my spirits were
taken by surprise; the beloved partner of my imprudence was
hovering on the brink of perdition ; and my own fate was involved
with hers. How could I do otherwise than give a silent and per-
292 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
turbed assent to her impious fiction ? My tongue, indeea, refused
tc ratify it ; but the bashaw, persuaded by my acquiescence that his
mistress had told him the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,
suffered his angry spirit to be tranquillized. ' Madam,' answered
he, ' I am willing to believe that you have committed no infidelity
towards me ; and that the desire of doing a thing agreeable to the
prophet has been the means of leading you on to risk so hazardous
and delicate a proceeding. I forgive, therefore, your imprudence,
on condition that this captive assumes the turban on the spot.' He
sent immediately for a priest* to initiate me. My dress was changed
with all due ceremony into the Turkish. They did just what they
pleased with me ; nor had I the courage to object; or, to do myself
more justice, I knew not what was becoming of me, in so dreadfiil
a disorder of all my faculties and feelings. There are other- good
Christians in the world, who have been guilty of apostatizing on
less imminent emergencies 1
"After the ceremony, I took my leave of the seraglio, to go and
possess myself, under the name of Sidy Hali, of an inferior office
which Soliman had given me. I never saw the sultana more; but
a eunuch of hers came one day to look after me. He brought with
him, as a present from his mistress, jewels to a very considerable
amount, accompanied with a letter, in which the lady assured me
she should never forget my generous compliance, in turning Moham-
medan to save her life. In point of fact, besides these rich gifts,
lavished upon me by Farrukhnaz, I obtained through her interest a
more considerable employment than my first, and in the course of
six or seven years became one of the richest renegadoes in the town
of Algiers.
" You must be perfectly aware, that if I assisted at the prayers
put up by the Mussulmans in their mosques, or fulfilled the other
observances of their religion, it was all a mere copy of my coun-
tenance. My inclination was always uniform and determined as to
returning before my death into the bosom of our holy church , and
with this view I looked forward to withdrawing some time or other
into Spain or Italy with the riches I should have accumulated.
But there seemed no reason whatever against enjoying life in the
interval. I was established in a magnificent mansion, with gar-
dens of extent and beauty, a numerous train of slaves, and a well-
appointed equipage of pretty girls in my seraglio. Though the
Mohammedans are forbidden the use of wine in that country, they are
not backward for the most part in their stolen libations. As for
* These wandering priests are at present known in Africa by the name of Marabut.
The first gymnosophists of Ethiopia most probably were nothing more. — ^Trass-
LATOB.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 298
me, my orgies were without either a mask or a blush, after the man-
ner of my brother renegadoes. I remember in particular two of my
bottle companions, with whom I often drank down the night before
we rose from the table. One was a Jew, and the other an Arabian.
I took them to be good sort of people ; and, with that impression,
lived in unconstrained familiarity with them. One evening I in-
vited them to sup at my house. On that very day a dog of mine
died — it was a pet ; we performed our pious oblations on his lifeless
clay, and buried him with all the solemn obsequies attendant on a
Mohammedan funeral. This act of ours was not designed to turn the
religion we outwardly professed into ridicule : it was only to fur-
nish ourselves with amusement, and give loose to a ridiculous whim
which struck us in the moment of iollity, that of paying the last
oflSces of humanity to my dog.
" This action was, however, very near laying me by the heels. On
the following day there came a fellow to my house, saying, ' Master
Sidy Hali, it is no laughing matter that induces me to pay you this
visit. My employer, the cadi, wants to have a word in your ear ; be
so good, if you please, as just to step to his office, without loss of
time. An Arabian merchant, who supped with you last night, has
laid an information respecting a certain act of irreverence perpe-
trated by you, on occasion of a dog which you buried. It is on that
charge that I summon you to appear this day before the judge ; in
case of failure, you are hereby warned that you will be the subject of
a criminal prosecution.' Away went he, leaving me to digest his dis-
course ; but the citation stuck in my throat, and took away my appe-
tite. The Arabian had no reason whatever to set his face against me;
and I could not comprehend the meaning of the dog's trick the
scoundrel had played me. The circumstances, at all events, de-
manded my prompt attention. I knew the cadi's character — a saint
on the outside, but a sinner jn his heart. Away went I, therefore,
to wait on this judge, but not with empty pockets. He sent for me
into his private room, and began upon me in all the vehemence of
pious indignation : ' You are a fellow rejected out of paradise 1 a
blasphemer of our holy law ! a man loathsome and abominable to
look upon ! You have performed the funeral service of a Mussul-
man over a dog. What an act of sacrilege 1 Is it thus, then, that
you reverence our most holy ceremonies ? Have you only turned
Mohammedan to laugh at our devotions and our rites ?' * My honored
master,' answered I, 'the Arabian who has told you such a cock and
bull story is a wolf in sheep's clothing ; and, more than that, he is
even an accomplice in my crime, if it is one to grant such rest as to
peace-parted souls to a faithful household servant, to an animal with
more good qualities than half the two-legged Mohammedans out of
294 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
Christendom. His attachment, besides, to people of merit and con-
sideration in the world was at once moral and sensible ; and at his
death he left several little tokens of remembrance to his friends. By
his last will and testament, he bequeathed his eflfects in the manner
therein mentioned, and did me the honor to name me for his ex-
ecutor. This old crony came in for twenty crowns, that for thirty,
and another for a cool hundred; but your worship is interested
deeply in this instrument,' pursued I, drawing out my purse ; ' he
has left you residuary legatee, and here is the amount of the be-
quest.' The cadi's gravity could not but relax, after the posthumous
kindness of his deceased friend ; and he laughed outright in the face
of the mock executor. As we were alone, there was no occasion to
make wry mouths at the purse, and my acquittal was pronounced in
these words : * Go, Master Sidy Hali , it was a very pious act of
yours, to enlarge the obsequies of a dog, who had so manly a fellow-
feeling for honest folks.'
" By this device I got out of tjie scrape ; and if the hint did not
increase my religion, it doubled my circumspection. I was deter-
mined no longer to open either my cellar or my soul in presence of
Arabian or Jew. My bottle companion henceforth was a young
gentleman from Leghorn, who had the happiness of being my slave.
His name was Azarini. I was of another kidney from renegadoeain
general, who impose greater hardships on their Christian slaves than
do the Turks themselves. All ipy captives waited for the period of
their ransom, without any impatient hankering after home. My
behavior to them was, in truth, so gentle and fatherly, that many of
them assured me they were more afraid of changing their master
than anxious after their liberty ; whatever magic that word may
have to the ears of those who have felt what it is to be deprived
of it.
" One day the bashaw's corsairs came into port with considerable
prizes. Their cargo amounted to more than a hundred slaves of
either sex, carried off from the Spanish coast. Soliman retained
but a very small number, and all the rest were sold. I happened to
go to market, and bought a Spanish girl ten or twelve years old.
She cried as if her heart would break, and looked the picture of de-
spair. It seemed strange that at her age slavery should make such
an impression on her. I told her, in Castilian, to combat with her
terrors ; and assured her that she was fallen into the hands of a
master who had not put off humanity when he took up the turban.
The little mourner, not initiated in the trade of grief, pursued the
subject of her lamentations without listening to me. Her whole
soul seemed to be breathed in her sighs ; she descanted on her
wretched fate, and exclaimed from time to time, in softened accents,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ' 295
' O my mother, why were we ever parted ? I could bear my lot with
patience, might we share it together.' With these lamentations on
her lips, she turned round towards a woman of from five-and-forty
to fifty, standing at the distance of several paces, and waiting, with
her eyes fixed to the ground, in a determined, sullen silence, till she
met with a purchaser. I asked my young bargain if the lady she
was looking at was her mother. ' Alas ! she is, indeed, sir,' replied
the girl ; ' for the love of God, do not let me be parted from her.'
'Well, then, my distressed little damsel,' said I, 'if it will give you
any pleasure, there is no more to do than to settle you both in the
same quarters, and then you will give over your mourning.' On the
very moment I went up to the mother, with the intention of cheap-
ening her ; but no sooner did I cast my eyes on her face, than I
knew again, with what emotion you may guess ! the very form and
pressure of Lucinda. ' Just heaven !' said I within myself, ' this is
my mother ! Nature whispers it in my ear, and can I doubt her
evidence?' On her part, whether a keen resentment of her woes
pointed out an enemy in every object on which she glanced, or else
it might be my dress that disfigured me ; ... or else I might have
grown 3 little older in about a dozen years since she had seen me ;
. . , but, however historians may account for it, she did not know
me. But I knew her, and bought her : the pair were sent home to
my. house.
" When they were safely lodged, I wished to surprise them with
the pleasure of ascertaining who I was. ' Madam,' said I to
Lucinda, ' is it possible that my features should not strike you ? 'Tis
true, I wear whiskers and a turban : but is Kaphael less your son
for that?' My mother thrilled through all her frame at these words,
looked at me with an eager gaze, my whole self rushed into her re-
collection, and into each other's arms we affectionately flew. I then
caressed, in moderated ecstasies, her daughter, who perhaps knew as
much about having a brother as I did about having a sister. ' Tell
the truth,' said I to my mother ; ' in all your theatrical discoveries,
did you ever meet with one so truly natural and dramatic as this?'
*My dear son,' answered she, in an accent of sorrow, 'the first sight
of YOU after so long a separation overwhelmed me with joy ; but the
revulsion was only the more deeply distressing. In what condition,
alas I do I again behold you ? My own slavery is a thousand times
less revolting to my feelings than the disgraceful habiliments.' . . .
' Heyday ! By all the powers, madam,' interrupted I with a hearty
laugh, ' I am quite delighted with your newly-acquired morality :
this is excellent in an actress. Well ! well ! as Heaven is my judge,
my honored mamma, you are mightily improved in your principles,
if my transformation astounds your religious eyesight. So far from
296 'AD VENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
quarrelling with my turban, consider me rather as an actor, play-
ing a Turkish character on the stage of the world. Though a con-
-formist, I am just as much a Mussulman as when I was in Spain ;
nay, in the bottom of my heart, I never was a more firm believer in
our Christian creed than at the present moment. When you shall
become acquainted with all my hair-breadth escapes, since I have
been domesticated in this country, you will not be rigorous in your
censure. Love has been the cause of my apostasy, and he who wor-
ships at that shrine may be absolved from all other infidelities. I
have a little of my mother in me, take my word for it. Another
reason, besides, ought to moderate your disgust at seeing me under
my present circumstances. You were expecting to experience a
harsh captivity in Algiers, but you find in your protector a son, with
all the tenderness and reverence befitting his relation to you, and
rich enough to maintain you here in plenty and comfort, till a favor-
able opportunity offers of returning with safety into Spain. Admit,
therefore, the force of the proverb, which says that evil itself is good
for something.'
'• ' My dear son,' said Lucinda, ' since you fully intend one day to
go back into your own country, and to throw off the mantle of
Mohammed, my scruples are all satisfied. Thanks to Heaven,' con-
tinued she, 'I shall be able to carry back yoiir sister Beatrice safe and
sound into Castile.' ' Yes, madam,' exclaimed I, ' so you may. We
will all three, as soon as the season may serve, go and throw our-
selves into the bosom of our family : for I make no matter of doubt
but you have still in Spain other indisputable evidences of your pro-
lific powers.' * No,' said my mother, ' I have only you two, the off-
spring of my body ; and you are to know that Beatrice is the fruit
of a marriage manufactured in as workmanlike a manner as any
within the pale of the church.' ' And pray, for what reason,' replied
I, ' might not my little sister have been just as contraband as my-
self? How did you ever work yourself up to the formidable resolu-
tion of marrying ? I have heard you say a hundred times, in my
childhood, that there was no benefit of clergy for a pretty woman
who could commit such an offence as to take up with a husband.'
' Times and seasons ebb and flow, my son,' rejoined she. ' Men of
the most resolute character may be shaken in their purposes : and
do you require that a woman should be inflexible in hers ? But I
will now relate to you the story of my life since your departure from
Madrid.' She then began the following recital, which will never be
obliterated from my memory. I will not withhold from you so
curious a narrative.
" ' It is nearly thirteen years, if you recollect,' said my mother,
'since you left young Leganez. Just at that time, the Duke
AD VENTUHES OF GIL BLAS. 297
of Medina Cell told me that he had a mind to sup with me one even-
ing in private. The day was fixed. I made preparations for his re-
ception : he came, and I pleased him. He required from me the
sacrifice of all his rivals, past, present, and to come. I came into
his terms, in the hope of being well paid for my complaisance.
There was no deficiency on that score. On the very next morning,
I received presents from him, which were followed up by a long
train of kindred attentions. I Avas afraid of not being able to hold
in my chains a man of his exalted rank : and this apprehension was
the better founded, because it was a matter of notoriety that he had
escaped from the clutches of several celebrated beauties, whose
chains he had worn only for the purpose of breaking. But for all
that, so far from surfeiting on the relish of my kindness, his appe-
tite grew by what it fed on. In short, I found out the secret of en-
tertaining him, and impounding his heart, naturally roving, so that
it should not go astray according to its usual volatility.
" * He had now been my admirer for three months, and I had
every reason to flatter myself that the arrangement would be lasting,
when a lady of my acquaintance and myself happened to go to an
assembly, where the duchess, his wife, was of the party. We were
invited to a concert of vocal and instrumental music. We accident-
ally seated ourselves too near the duchess, who took it into her head
to be affronted that I should exhibit my person in a place where she
was. She sent me word, by one of her women, that she should take
it as a favor if I would quit the room immediately. I sent back an
answer just as saucy as the message. The duchess, irritated to fury,
laid her jvrongs before her husband, who came to me in person, and
said, " Retire, Lucinda. Though noblemen of the first rank attach
themselves to pretty playthings like yourself, it is highly unbecom-
ing in you to forget your proper distance. If we love you better
than our wives, we honor our wives more than you : whenever,
therefore, your insolence shall go so far as to set yourselves up for
their rivals under their very noses, you will always be mortified, and
made to know your places'." \
" ' Fortunately the duke held his cruel language to me in so low a
tone of voice as not to have been overheard by the people about us.
I withdrew in deep confusion, and cried with vexation at having
incurred such an affront. At once to crown my shame and aggra-
vate my chastisement, the actors and actresses got hold of the story
on the very same evening. To do them justice, these gentry must
contrive to entertain a familiar spirit, whose business is to fly about
and whisper in the ear of one whatever falls out amiss to the other.
Suppose, for instance, that an actor gets drunk and makes a fool of
himself, or an actress gets hold of a rich cully and makes a fool of
298 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
him ! The green-room is sure to ring with all the particulars, and
a few more than are true. All my kindred of the sock and buskin
were informed at once of what had happened at the concert, and a
blessed life they led me with their quips and quiddities. Never was
there charity like theirs. Without beginning at home, heaven only
knows where it ends 1 But I held myself too high to be affected by
their jibes and jeers : nor did even the loss of the Duke de Medina
Celi hang heavy on my spirits ; for true it was, I never saw him
more at my toilet, but learned, a very short time after, that he had
got into the trammels of a little warbler.
" * When a theatrical lady has the good luck to be in fashion, she
may change her lover as often as her petticoat ; and one noble fool,
should he even recover his wits at the end of three days, serves ex-
cellently well for a decoy to his successor. No sooner was it
buzzed about Madrid that the duke had raised the siege, than a
new host of would-be conquerors appeared before the trenches.
The very rivals whom I had sacrificed to his wishes, looking at my
charms through the magnifying medium of delay and disappoint-
ment, came back again in crowds to encounter new caprices ; to say
nothing of a thousand fresh hearts, ready to bargain on the mere
report of my being to let. I had never been so exclusively the
mode. Of all the men who put in for being cajoled by me, a portly
German, belonging to the Duke of Ossuna's household, seemed to
bid highest. Not that his personal attractions were by any means
the most catching ; but then there were a thousand amiable pistoles
on the list of candidates, scraped together by perquisites in his
master's service, and turned adrift with the prodigality of a prince,
in the hope of becoming my favored lover. This fat pigeon to be
plucked was by name Brutandorf. As long as his pockets were
lined, his reception was warm : empty purses meet with fastened
doors. The principles on which my friendship rested were not
altogether to his taste. He came to the play to look after me
during the performance. I was behind the scenes. It was his
humor to load me with reproaches ; it was mine to laugh in his
face. This provoked his boorish wrath, and he gave me a box on
the ear, like a clumsy-fisted German as he was. I set up a loud
scream ; the business of the stage was suspended. I came forward
to the front, and, addressing the Duke of Ossuna, who was at the
play on that occasion with his lady duchess, begged his protection
from the German gallantry of his establishment. The duke gave
orders for our proceeding with the piece, and intimated that he
would hear the parties after the curtain had dropped. At the con-
clusion of the play I presented myself in all the dreary pomp of
tragedy before the duke, and laid open my griefs in all the majesty
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 299
of woe. As for my German pugilist, his defence was on a level
with his provocation : so far from being sorry for what he had done,
his fingers itched to give me another dressing. The cause being
heard pro and con, tlie Duke of Ossuna said to his Scandinavian
savage, " Brutandorf, I dismiss you from my service, and beg never
to see anything more of you, not because you have given a box on
the ear to an actress, but for your failure in respect to your master
and mistress, in having presumed to interrupt the progress of the
play in their presence."
" ' This decision was a bitter pill for me to swallow. It was high
treason against my histrionic majesty, that the German was not
turned off on the ground of having insulted me. It seemed difficult
to conceive the possibility of a greater crime than that of insulting
a principal actress : and where crimes are parallel, punishments
should tally. The retribution in this case would have been ex-
emplary ; and I expected no les§. This unpleasant occurrence un-
deceived me, and proved, to my mortification, that the public
distinguished between the actors and the personages they may
chance to enact. On this conviction, my pride revolted at the
theatre : I resolved to give up my engagements, to go and live at a
distance from Madrid. I fixed on the city of Valencia for the
place of my retreat, and went thither under a feigned character,
with a property of twenty thousand ducats in money and jewels — a
sum in my mind more than sufiicient to maintain me for the re-
mainder of my days, since it was my purpose to lead a retired life.
I rented a small house at Valencia, and limited my establishment
to a female servant and a page, who were as Ignorant of my birth,
parentage and education as the rest of the town. I gave myself out
for the widow of an officer belonging to the king's household, and
intimated that I had made choice of Valencia for my residence, on
the report that it was one of the most agreeable neighborhoods in
Spain. I saw very little company, and maintained so reserved a
deportment that there never was the slightest suspicion of my
having been an actress. Yet, notwithstanding all the pains I took
to hide myself from the garish eye of day, I had worse success
against the piercing ken of a gentleman who had a country seat
near Paterna. He was of an ancient family, in person genteel and
manly, from five-and-thirty to forty years of age, nobly connected,
but scandalously in debt — a contradiction in the vocabulary of
honor, neither more unaccountable nor uncommon in the kingdom
of Valencia, than what takes place every day in other parts of the
civilized world,
" * This gentleman of a generation or two before the present, find-
ing my person to his liking, was desirous of knowing if in other
300 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
respects I was a commodity for his market. He set every engine at
work to inquire into the most minute particulars, and had the pleas-
ure to learn from general report, that I was a warm widow with a
comfortable jointure, and a person little, if anything, the worse for
wear. It struck him that this was just the match ; so that in a very
short time an old lady came to my house, telling me from him that,
with equal admiration of my virtue and my charms, he laid himself
and his fortune at my feet, and was ready to lead me to the altar, if
I could condescend so far as to become his wife. I required three
days to make up my mind on the subject. In this interval, I made
inquiries about the gentleman ; and hearing a good character of him,
notwithstanding the deranged state of his finances, it was my deter-
mination to marry him without more ado, so that the preliminaries
were soon ratified by a definitive treaty.
" ' Don Manuel de Xerica — for that was my husband's name —
took me immediately after the ceremony to his castle, which had an
air of antiquity highly flattering to his family pride. He told a
story about one of his ancestors who built it in days of yore, and
because it was not founded the day before yesterday, jumped to a
conclusion that there was not a more ancient house in Spain than
that of Xerica. But nobility, like perishable merchandise, will run
to decay ; the castle, shored up on this side and on that, was in the
very agony of tumbling to pieces : what a buttress for Don Manuel
and for his old walls was his marriage with me ! More than half
my savings were laid out on repairs ; and the residue was wanted to
set us going in a genteel style among our country neighbors. Behold
me then, you who can believe it, landed on a new planet, trans-
formed into the presiding genius of a castle, the Lady Bountiful of
my parish : our stage machinery could never have furnished such a
change I I was too good an actress not to have supported my new
rank and dignity with appropriate grace. I assumed high airs, the-
atrical grandeurs, a most dignified strut and demeanor ; all ;which
made the bumpkins conceive a wonderful idea of my exalted origin.
How would they not have tickled their fancies at my expense, had
they known the real truth of the case ! The gentry of the neigh-
borhood would have scofi'ed at me most unmercifully, and the
country people would have been much more chary of the respect
they showed me.
" * It was now near six years that I had lived very happily with
Don Manuel, when he ended ways, means, and life together. My
legacy consisted of a broken fortune to splice, and your sister Bea-
trice, then more than four years old, to maintain. The castle, which
was our only tangible resource, was unfortunately mortgaged to
Beveral creditors, the principal of whom was one Bernard Astuto.
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 301
Cunning by name, and cunning by nature! He practiced as an
attorney at Valencia, and bore his faculties in all the infamy of
pettifogging ; law and equity conspired in his person to push the
trade of cozening and swindling to the utmost extremity. To think
of falling into the clutches of such a creditor ! A gentleman's pro-
perty, under the gripe of such a claw as this attorney's, affords much
the' same sport as a lamb to a wolf, or a dove to a kite. Nearly after
the fashion of these beasts and birds of prey did Signer Astuto,
when informed of my husband's death, hover over his victim, con-
cealing his fell purpose under the ambush of the law. The whole
estate would have been swallowed up in pleadings, aflBdavits, de-
murrers, and rejoinders, but for the light thrown upon the proceed-
ings by my lucky star ; under whose influence the plaintiff was
turned at once into defendant, and was left without a reply to the
arguments of these all-powerful eyes. I got to the blind side of
him in an interview, which I contrived during the progress of our
litigation. Nothing was wanting on my part — I own it frankly —
to fill him brimful of the tender passion ; an ardent longing to save
my goods, chattels, and domain, made me practice upon him, to my
own disgust, that system of coquettish tactics and flirtation which
had drawn so many former fools into an ambuscade. Yet, with all
the resources of a veteran, I was very near letting the attorney
escape. He was so barricaded by mouldy parchments, so immured
in actions and informations, as scarcely to seem susceptible of any
love but the love of law. The truth, however, was, that this moping
pettifogger, this porer over ponderous abridgments, this scrawler of
acts and deeds, had more young blood in him than I was aware of,
and a trick of looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He pro-
fessed to be a novice in the art of courtship. " My whole heart and
soul, madam," said he, " have been wedded to my profession ; and
the consequence has been, that the iises and customs of gallantry
have seemed weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable to me. But though
not a man of outward show, I am well furnished with the stock in
trade of love. To come to the point at once, if you can resolve in
your mind to marry me, we will make a grand bonfire of the whole
lawsuit ; and I will give the go-by to those rascally creditors who
have joined issue with me in our attack upon your estate. You shall
have the life interest, and your daughter the reversion." So good
a bargain for Beatrice and myself would not allow of any waver-
ing: I closed without delay on the conditions. The attorney
kept his word most miraculously: he turned short round upon
the other creditors, defeated them with the very weapons himself
had furnished for their joint campaign, and secured me in the
possession of my house and lands. It was probably the first time
302 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
in his life that he had taken up the cause of the widow and the
orphan.
" ' Thus did I become the honored wife of an attorney, without
losing my rank as tlie lady of the manor. But this incongruous
marriage ruined me in the esteem of the gentry about Valencia.
The women of quality looked upon me as a person who had lowered
herself, and refused any longer to visit me. This inevitably threw
me on the acquaintance of the tradespeople ; a circumstance which
could not do otherwise than hurt my feelings a little at iirst, because
I had been accustomed, for the last six years, to associate only with
ladies of the higher classes. But it was in vain to fret about it;
and I soon found my level. I got most intimately acquainted with
the wives of my husband's brethren of the quill and brief. Their
characters were not a little entertaining. There was an absurdity
in their manners which tickled me to the very soul. These trum-
pery fine ladies held themselves up for something far above the
common run. " Well-a-day !" said I to myself, every now and then,
when they forgot the blue bag : " this is the way of the world I
Every one fancies himself to be something vastly superior to his
neighbor. I thought we actresses only did not know our places ;
women at the lower end of private life, as far as I see, are just as
absurd in their pretensions. I should like, by way of check upon
their presumption, to propose a law, that family pictures and pedi-
grees should be liuug up iu every house. Were the situation left
to the choice of the owner, the deuce is in it if these legal gentiy
would not cram their scrivening ancestors either into the cellar or
the garret."
" ' After four years passed in the holy state of wedlock, Signor
Bernardo d'Astuto fell sick, and went the way of all flesh. We had
no family. Between my settlement and what I was worth before, I
found myself a well-endowed widow. I had too the reputation of
being so ; and on this report, a Sicilian gentleman, by name Colifi-
chini, determined to stick in my skirts, and either ruin or marry
me. The alternative was kindly left to my own choice. He was
come from Palermo to see Spain, and, after having satisfied his
curiosity, was waiting, as he said, at Valencia for an opportunity of
taking his passage back to Sicily. The spark was not quite five-
and-twenty ; of an elegant though diminutive person ; ... in
short, his figure absolutely haunted me. He found the means of
getting to the speech of me in private ; and, I will own it to you
frankly, I fell distractedly in love with him from the moment of
our very first interview. On his part, the little knave flounced over
head and ears in admiration of my charms. I do really think — God
forgive me for it— that we should have been married out of hand,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 303
if the death of the attorney, whose funeral baked meats were scarcely
cold enough to have furnished forth the marriage tables, would have
allowed me to contract a new engagement at so short a warning.
But, since I had got into the matrimonial line, it was necessary that
where the church makes the feast, the devil should not send cooks;
I therefore took care always to season my nuptials to the palate of
the world at large.
" ' Thus did we agree to delay our coming together for a time, out
of a tender regard to appearances. Colifichini, in the meantime,
devoted all his attentions to me : his passion, far from languishing,
seemed to become more a part of himself from day to day. The
poor lad was not too flush of ready money. This struck my obser-
vation ; and he was no longer at a loss for his little pocket expenses.
Besides being very nearly twice his age, I recollected having laid
the men under contribution in my younger days ; so that I looked
upon what I was then lavishing as a sort of restitution, which bal-
anced my debtor and creditor account, and made me quits with my
conscience. "We waited, as patiently as our frailty would allow, for
the period when widows may in decency so far surmount their grief
as to try their luck again. When the happy morning rose, we pre-
sented ourselves before the altar, where we plighted our faith
to each other by oaths the most solemn and binding. We then
retired to my castle, where I may truly say that we lived for two
years, less as husband and wife than as tender and unfettered
lovers. But alas! such a union, so happy and sentimental, was
not long to be the lot of humanity : a pleurisy carried off my dear
Colifichini.'
"At this passage in her history, I interrupted my mother. * Hey-
day ! madam, your third husband despatched already ? You must
be a most deadly taking.' ' What do you mean ?' answered she : * is
it for me to dispute the will of Heaven, and lengthen the days par-
celled out to every son of earth ? If I have lost three husbands, it
was none of my fault. Two of them cost me many a salt tear. If
I buried any with dry eyes, it was the attorney. As that was merely
a match of interest, I was easily reconciled to the loss of him. But
to return to Colifichini : I was going to tell you, that some month*
after his death, I had a mind to go and take possession of a country
house near Palermo, which he had settled on me as a jointure, by
our marriage contract. I took my passage for Sicily with my
daughter ; but we were taken on the voyage by Alg«rine corsairs.
This city was our destination. Happily for us, you happened to be
at the market where we were put up for sale. Had it been other-
wise, we must have fallen into the hands of some barbarian pur-
chaser, who would have used us ill ; and we probably might have
804 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
passed our whole life in slavery, nor would you ever have heard
of us.'
" Such was my mother's story. To return to my own, gentlemen,
I gave her the best apartment in my house, with the liberty of living
after her own fashion ; which was a circumstance very agreeable to
her taste. She had a confirmed habit of loving, brought to such a
system by so many repeated experiments, that it was impossible for
her to do without either a gallant or a husband. At first she looked
with favor upon some of my slaves ; but Hali Pegelin, a Greek rene-
gado, who sometimes came and called upon us, soon drew all her
glances on himself. She conceived a stronger passion for him than
she had ever done for Colifichini ; and such was her aptitude for
pleasing the men, that she found the way to wind herself about the
heart of this man also. I seemed as if unconscious of their good
understanding; being then intent only on my return into Spain.
The bashaw had already given me leave to fit out a vessel, for the
purpose of sweeping the sea and committing acts of piracy. This
armament was my sole object. Just a week before it was completed,
I said to Lucinda, ' Madam, we shall take our leave of Algiers almost
immediately ; so that you will bid a long farewell to an abode which
you cannot but detest.'
" My mother turned pale at these words, and stood silent and
motionless. My surprise was extreme. ' What do I see?' said I to
her: * whence comes it that you present such an image of terror and
despair ? My design was to fill you with transport ; but the effect of
my intelligence seems only to overwhelm you with aflliction. I
thought to have been thanked for my welcome news ; and hastened
with eagerness to tell you that all is ready for our departure. Are
you no longer in the mind to go back into Spain ?' ' No, my son ;
Spain no longer has any charms for me,' answered my mother. ' It
has been the scene of all my sorrows, and I have turned my back
on it forever.' ' What do I hear?' exclaimed I, in an agony : ' ah !
tell me rather that it is a fatal passion which alienates you from
your native country. Just Heaven ! what a change ! When you
landed here, every object that met your eyes was hateful to them,
but Hali Pegelin has given another color to your fancy.' ' I do not
deny it,' replied Lucinda : ' I love that renegado, and mean to take
him for my fourth husband.' ' What an idea !' interrupted I, with
horror : 'you to marry a Mussulman ! You forget yourself to be a
Christian, or rather have hitherto been one only in name, and not in
heart. Ah ! my dear mother, what a futurity do you present to my
imagination ! You are running headlong to your eternal ruin. You
are going to do voluntarily, and from impure motives, what I have
only done under the pressure of necessity.'
ADVENTUttES OF GIL BLAS. 305
" I urged many other arguments, in the same strain, to turn her
aside from her purpose, but all my eloquence was wasted ; she had
made up her mind to her future destiny. Not satisfied with follow-
ing the bent of her base inclinations, and leaving her son to go and
live with this renegado, she had even formed a design to settle Bea-
trice in het own family. This I opposed with all my might and
main. *Ah! wretched Lucinda,' said I, 'if nothing is capable of
keeping you within the limits of your duty, at least rush on per-
dition alone ; confine within yourself the fury which possesses you ;
cast not a young innocent headlong over a precipice, though you
yourself may venture on the leap.' Lucinda quitted my presence in
moody silence. It struck me that a remnant of reason still enlight-
ened her, and that she would not obstinately persevere in' requiring
her daughter to be given up to her. How little did I know of my
mother ! One of my slaves said to me two days afterwards, ' Sir,
take care of yourself. A captive belonging to Pegelin has just let
me into a secret, of which you cannot too soon avail yourself. Your
mother has changed her religion ; and as a punishment upon you for
having refused Beatrice to her wishes, it is her purpose to acquaint
the bashaw with your flight.' I could not'for a moment doubt but
what Lucinda was the woman to do just what my slave had said she
would. The lady had given me manifold opportunities of studying
her character ; and it was sufficiently evident that, by dint of play-
ing bloody parts in tragedy, she had familiarized herself with the
guilty scenes of real life. It would not in the least have gone
against her nature to have got me burned alive; nor, probably,
would she have been more affected by my exit after that fashion,
than by the winding up of a dramatic tale.
"The warning of my slave, therefore, was not to be neglected.
My embarkation was hastened on. I took some Turks on board,
according to the practice of the Algerine corsairs when going on a
piratical expedition ; but I engaged no more than was necessary to
blind the eyes of jealousy, and weighed anchor from the port as soon
as possible, with all my slaves and my sister Beatrice. You will do
right to suppose that I did not forget, in that moment of anxiety, to
pack up my whole stock of money and jewels, amounting probably
to the worth of six thousand ducats. When we were fairly out at
sea, we began by securing the Turks. They were easily mastered,
as my slaves outnumbered them. We had so favorable a wind, that
we made the coast of Italy in a very short time. Without let or
hindrance, we got into the harbor of Leghorn, where I thought the
whole city must have come out to see us land. The fether of my
slave Azarini, either accidentally or from curiosity, happened to be
among the gazers. He looked with all his eyes at ray captives, as
20
806 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
they came ashore ; but, though his object was to discover his lost son
among the number, it was with little hope of so fortunate a result.
But how powerful is the plea of nature ! What transports, expressed
by mutual embraces, followed the recognition of a tie so close, but
so painfully interrupted for a time !
" As soon as Azarini had acquainted his father who I was, and
what had brought me to Leghorn, the old man obliged me, as well
as Beatrice, to accept jof an apartment in his house. I shall pass
over in silence the description of a thousand ceremonies, necessary
to be gone through, in order to my return into the bosom of the
church ; suffice it to say, that I forswore Mohammedanism with much
more sincerity than I had pledged myself to it. After having en-
tirely purged myself from my Algerine leaven, I sold my ship, and
set all my slaves at liberty. As for the Turks, they were committed
to prison at Leghorn, to be exchanged against Christians. I received
kind attention in abundance from the Azarini family ; indeed, the
young man married my sister Beatrice, who, to speak the truth, was
hd bad match for him, being a gentleman's daughter, and inheriting
the castle of Xerica, which my mother had taken care to let out to
a rich farmer of Paterna, when she resolved upon her voyage to
Sicily.
" Froni Leghorn, after having stayed there some time, I departed
for Florence, a town I had a strong desire to see. I did not go
thither without letters of recommendation, Azarini, the father, had
connections at the grand duke's court, and introduced me to them
as a Spanish gentleman related to his family. I tacked don to my
name, in honest rivalry of impudence with otlier low Spaniards,
who take up that travelling title of honor without compunction
when far enough from home to set detection at defiance. Boldly,
then, did I dub myself Don Eaphael, and appeared at court with
suitable splendor, on the strength of what I had brought from
Algiers, to keep my nobility from starving. The high personages
to whom old Azarini had written in my favor gave out in their
circle that I was a person of quality, so that with this testimony,
and a natural knack I had of giving myself airs, the deuce must
have been in it if I could not have passed muster for a man of some
consequence. I soon got to be hand in glove with the principal
nobility, and they presented me to the grand duke. I had the good
fortune to make myself agreeable. It then became an object with
me to pay court to that prince, and to study his humor. I sucked
in with greedy ear all that his most experienced courtiers said about
him, and by their conversation fathomed «il his peculiarities.
Among other things, he encouraged a play of wit ; was fond of good
stories and lively repartees. On this hint I formed myself. Every
I
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 307
morning I wrote down in my pocket-book such anecdotes as I meant
to rack off in the course of ttie day. My stock was somewhat ex-
tensive, so that I was a walking budget of balderdash. Yet even
my estate in nonsense required economy, and I began to get out at
elbows, so as to be reduced to borrow from myself, and mortgage my
resources twenty times over ; but when the shallow current of my
wit and wisdom was nearly at its summer drought, a torrent of
matter-of-fact lies gave new force to the exhausted stream of
quibble. Intrigues which had never been intrigued, and practical
jokes which had never been played off, were the tools I worked
with, and exactly to the level of the grand duke ; nay, what often
happens to dull dealers in inextinguishable vivacity, the mornings
were spent in financiering those funds of conversation which were
to be drawn upon after dinner, as if from a perennial spring of pre-
ternatural wealth.
" I had even the. impudence to set up for a poet, and made my
broken-winded muse trot to the praises of the prince. I allow can-
didly that the verses were execrable ; but then they were quite good
enough for their readers ; and it remains a doubt whether if they
had been better the grand duke would not have thrown them into
the fire. They seemed to be just what he would have written upon
himself. In short, it was impossible to miss the proper style on such
a subject. But whatever might be my merit as a poet, the prince,
by little and little, took such a liking to my person, as gave occa-
sion of jealousy to his courtiers. They tried to find out who I was.
This, however, was beyond their compass. All they could learn was
that I had been a renegado. This was whispered forthwith in the
prince's ear, in the hopes of hurting me. Not that it succeeded : on
the contrary, the grand duke one day commanded me to give him
a faithful account of my adventures at Algiers. I obeyed, and the
recital, without reserve on my part, contributed more than any other
of my stories to his entertainment.
" ' Don Eaphael,' said he, after I had ended my narrative, ' I have
a real regard for you, and mean to give you a proof of it which will
place my sincerity beyond a doubt. Henceforth you are admitted
into my most private confidence, as the first fruits of which you are
to know that one of my ministers has a wife with whom I am in
love. She is the most enchanting creature at court, but at the same
time the most impregnable. Shut up in her own household, exclu-
sively attached to a hr^gband who idolizes her, she seems to be igno-
rant of the combustion her charms have kindled in Florence. You
will easily conceive the difficulty of such a conquest. And yet this
epitome of loveliness, so deaf to all the whispers of common seduc-
tion, has sometimes listened to my sighs, I have found the means
808 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
of speaking to her without witnesses. She is ^ot unacquainted
with my sentiments. I do not flatter myself with having warmed
her into love ; she has given me no reason to form so sweet a con-
jecture. Yet I will not despair of pleasing her by my constancy,
and by the cautious conduct, even to mystery, which I take care to
observe.
" 'My passion for this lady,' continued he, ' is known only to her-
self. Instead of pursuing my game wantonly, and overleaping the
rights of my subjects, like a true sovereign, I conceal from all the
Avorld the knowledge of my love. This delicacy seems due to Mas-
carini, the husband of my beloved mistress. His zeal and attach-
ment to me, his services and honesty, oblige me to act in this
business with the closest secrecy and circumspection. I will not
plunge a dagger into the bosom of this ill-starred husband by de-
claring myself a suitor to his wife. Would he might forever be
insensible, were it within possibility, to the secret flame which
devours me, for I am persuaded that he would die of grief were he
to know the circumstances I have just now confided to you. 1 there-
fore veil my pursuit in impenetrable darkness, and have determined
to make use of you for the purpose of conveying to Lucretia the
merit of the sacrifices my delicacy imposes on my feelings. Of these
you shall be the interpreter. I doubt not but you will acquit your-
self to a marvel of your commission. Contrive to be intimate with
Mascarini ; make a point of worming yourself into his friendship.
Then an introduction to his family will be easy ; and you will secure
to yourself the liberty of conversing freely with his wife. This is
what I require from you, and what I feel assured you will execute
with all the dexterity and discretion necessary to so delicate an
undertaking.'
" I promised the grand duke to do my utmost in furtherance of
his good opinion, and in aid of his success with the object of his
desires. I kept my word without loss of time. No pains were
spared to get into Mascarini's good graces : and the design was not
difficult to accomplish. Delighted to find his friendship sought by
a man possessing the affections of the prince, he advanced half way
to meet my overtures. His house was always open to me ; my inter-
course with his lady was unrestrained ; and 1 have no hesitation in
affirming my measures to have been taken so well as to have pre-
cluded the slightest suspicion of the embassy entrusted to my man-
agement. It is true, he had but a small share of the Italian jealousy,
relying as he did on the virtue of his Lucretia ; so that he often
shut himself up in his closet, and left me alone with her. I entered
at once into the pith and marrow of my subject. The grand duke's
passion was my topic with the lady ; and I told her that the motive
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 309
of my visits was only to plead for that prince. She did not seem tt
be over head and ears in love with him ; and yet, methought, vanitj
forbade her to frown decisively on his addresses. She took a pleas-
ure in listening to his sighs, without sighing in concert. A certain
propriety of heart she had ; but then she was a woman, and it was
obvious that her rigor was giving way insensibly to the triumphant
image of a sovereign bound in the letters of her resistless charms.
In short, the prince had good reason to flatter himself that he might
dispense with the ill-breeding of a Tarquin, and yet bend Lucretia
to a compliance with his longings. An incident, however, the most
unexpected in the annals of romance, blasted his flattering pros-
pects ; in what manner you shall hear.
" I am naturally free and easy with the women. This constitu-
tional assurance, whether a blessing or a curse, was ripened into in-
veterate habit among the Turks. Lucretia was a pretty woman. I
forgot that I was courting by proxy, and assumed the tone of a prin-
cipal. Nothing could exceed the warmth and gallantry with which
I offered my services to the lady. Far from appearing ofiended at
my boldness, or silencing me by a resentful answer, she only said,
with a sarcastic smile, ' Own the truth, Don Raphael ; the grand
duke has pitched upon a very faithful and zealous agent. You serve
him with an integrity not sufiiciently to be commended.' ' Madam,'
said I in the same strain, 'let us not examine things with too much
nicety. A truce, I beseech you, with moral discussions ; they are
not of my element: good honest passion tallies better with our
natures. I do not believe myself, after all, the first prince's con-
fidant who has ousted his master in an affair of gallantry ; your
great lords have often dangerous rivals in more humble messengers
than myself.' 'That may be,' replied Lucretia; 'but a haughty
temper stands with me in the place of virtue, and no one under the
degree of a prince shall ever sully these charms. Regulate your
behavior accordingly,' added she in a tone of serious severity, ' and
let us change the subject. I willingly bury your presumption in
oblivion, provided you never hold similar discourse to me again : if
you do, you may repent of it.'
" Though this was a comment of some importance on my text, and
ought to have been heedfully conned over, it was do bar to my still
entertaining Mascarini's wife with my passion. I even pressed
her, with more importunity than heretofore, for a kind consent to
my tender entreaties ; and was rash enough to feel my ground by
some little personal freedoms. The lady then, offended at my words,
and still more at my Mohammedan quips and cranks, gave a complete
set down to my assurance. She threatened to acquaint the grand
duke with my impertinence ; and declared she would make a point
310 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
of his punishing me as I deserved. These menaces bristled up my
spirit in return. My love turned at once into hatred, and deter-
mined me to revenge myself for the contempt with which Lucretia
had treated me. I went in quest of her husband ; and after having
bound him by oath not to betray me, I informed him of his wife's
correspondence with the prince, and failed not to represent her as
distractedly enamored of him, by way of heightening the interest
of the scene. The minister, lest the plot should become too intri-
cately entangled, shut his wife up, without any law but his own will,
in a secret apartment, where he placed her under the strict guard
of confidential persons. While she was thus kept at bay by the
watch-dogs of jealousy, who prevented her from acquainting the
grand duke with her situation, I announced to that prince, with a
melancholy air, that he must think no longer of Lucretia. I told
him that Mascarini had doubtless discovered all, since he had taken
it into his head to keep a guard over his wife ; that I could not con-
ceive what had induced him to suspect me, as I flattered myself
■with having always behaved according to the most approved rules
of discretion in such cases. The lady might, I suggested, have been
beforehand, and owned all to her husband ; and had, perhaps, in
concert with him, suffered herself to be immured, in order to lie
hid from a pursuit so dangerous to her virtue. The prince appeared
deeply afflicted at my relation. I was not unmoved by his distress,
and repented more than once of what I had done ; but it was too
late to retract. Besides, I must acknowledge, a spiteful joy tingled
in my veins, when I meditated on the distressed condition of the
disdainful fair who had spurned my vows.
"I was feeding with impunity on the pleasure of revenge, so
palatable to all the world, but most of all to Spaniards, when one
day the grand duke, chatting with five or six nobles of his court and
myself, said to us, ' In what manner would you judge it fitting for a
man to be punished who should have abused the confidence of his
prince, and designed to step in between him and his mistress?'
'The best way,' said one of the courtiers, 'would be to have him
torn to pieces by four horses.' Another gave it as his verdict that
he should be soundly beaten till he died under the blows of the
executioner. The most tender-hearted and merciful of these Italians,
with comparative lenity towards the culprit, wished only just to
admonish him of his fault, by throwing him from the top of a tower
to the bottom. 'And Don Eaphael,' resumed the grand duke after
a pause, ' what is his opinion ? The Spaniards, in all likelihood,
would improve upon our Italian severity, in a case of such aggra-
vated treachery.'
"I fully understood, as you may well suppose, that Mascarini
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 311
had not kept his oath, or that his wife had devised the means of
acquainting the prince with what had passed between her and me.
My countenance sufficiently betokened my inward agitation. But
for all that, suppressing as well as I could my rising emotion and
alarm, I replied to the grand duke in a steady tone of voice, * My
lord, the Spaniards are more generous ; under such circumstances
they would pardon the unworthy betrayer of his trust, and by that
act of unmerited goodness would kindle in his soul an everlasting
abhorrence of his own villainy.' ' Yes, truly,' said the prince, * and
I feel in my own breast a similar spirit of forbearance. Let the
traitor then be pardoned,; since I have myself only to blame for
having given my confidence to a man of whom I had no knowledge,
but, on the contrary, much ground of suspicion, according to the
current of common report. Don Eaphael,' added he, ' my revenge
shall be confined to this single interdict. Quit my dominions
immediately, and never appear again in my presence.' I withdrew
in all haste, less hurt at my disgrace than delighted to have got oflF
so cheaply. The very next day I embarked in a Barcelona ship,
just setting sail from the port of Leghorn on its return."
At this period of his history I interrupted Don Eaphael to the
following effect : " For a man of shrewdness, methinks you were not
a little off your guard in trusting yourself at Florence for even so
short a time, after having discovered the prince's love of Lucretia
to Mascarini. You might well have foreboded that the grand duke
would not be long in getting to the knowledge of your duplicity."
" Your observation is very just," answered the well-matched son of
80 eccentric a mother as Lucinda ; " and for that reason, not trust-
ing to the minister's promise of screening me from his master's in-
dignation, it had been my intention to disappear without taking
leave.
" I got safe to Barcelona," continued he, " with the remnant of
the wealth I had brought from Algiers ; but the greater part had
been squandered at Florence in enacting the Spanish gentleman.
I did not stay long in Catalonia. Madrid was the dear place of my
nativity, and I had a longing desire to see it again, which I satisfied
as soon as possible ; for mine was not a temper to stand parleying
with its own inclinations. On my arrival in town, I chanced to
take up my abode in a ready-furnished lodging, where dwelt a lady '
by name Camilla. Though at some distance from her teens, she
was a very spirit-stirring creature, as Signor Gil Bias will bear me
out in saying; for he fell in love with her at Valladolid nearly
about the same time. Her parts were still more extraordinary
than her beauty ; and never had a lady with a character to let a
happier talent of inveigling fools to their ruin. But she -.vas not
812 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
like those selfish jilts who put out the gullibility of their lovers to
usury. The pillage of the plodding merchant, or the grave family
man, was squandered upon the first gambler or prize-fighter who
happened to find his way into her frolicsome fancy.
" We loved one another from the first moment, and the con-
formity of our tempers bound us so closely together, that we soon
lived on the footing of joint property. The amount, in sober sad-
ness, was little better than a cipher, and a few good dinners more
reduced it to that ignoble negative of number. We were each of
us thinking, as the deuce would have it, of our mutual pleasures,
without profiting in the least by those happy dispositions of ours
for living at the expense of other folks. Want at last gave a keener
edge to our wits, which indulgence had blunted. 'My dear
Raphael,' said Camilla, 'let us carry the war into the enemy's
quarters, if you love me ; for while we are as faithful as turtles, we
are as foolish, and fall into our own snare, instead of laying it for
the unwary. You may get into the head and heart of a rich widow ;
I may conjure myself into the good graces of some old nobleman :
but as for this ridiculous fidelity, it brings no grist to the mill.'
'Excellent Camilla,' answered I, 'you are beforehand with me. I
was going to make the very same proposal. It exactly meets my
ideas, thou paragon of morality. Yes ; the better to maintain our
mutual fire, let us forage for substantial fuel. As good may always
be extracted out of evil, those infidelities which are the bane of
other loves shall be the triumph of ours.'
" On the basis of this treaty we took the field. At first there was
much cry, but little wool ; for we had no luck at finding cullies.
Camilla met with nothing but pretty fellows, with vanity in their
hearts, tinsel on their backs, and not a maravedi in their pockets ;
my ladies were all of a kidney to levy rather than to pay contribu-
tions. As love left us in the lurch, we paid our devotions at the
shrine of knavery. With the zeal of martyrs to a new religion did
we encounter the frowns of the civil power, whose myrmidons, as
like the devil in their nature as their ofiice, were ordered on the
lookout after us; but the alguazil, with all the good qualities of
which the corregidor inherited the contraries, gave us time to make
our escape out of Madrid, for the good of the trade and a small sum
of money. We took the road to Valladolid, meaning to set up in
that town. I rented a house for myself and Camilla, who passed
for my sister to avoid evil tongues. At first we kept a tight rein
over our speculative talents, and began by reconnoitring the
ground before we determined on our plan of operations.
"One day a man accosted me in the street, with a very civil salu-
tation, to this efiect: 'Signor Don Eaphael, do you recollect my
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 313
face?' I answered in the negative. 'Then I have the advantage
of you,' replied he, ' for yours is perfectly familiar to me. I have
seen you at the court of Tuscany, where I was then in the grand
duke's guards. It is some months since I quitted that prince's
service. I came into Spain with an Italian, who will not discredit
the politics of his country : we have been at Valladolid these three
weeks. Our residence is with a Castilian and a Galician, who are,
without dispute, two of the best creatures in the world. We live
together by the sweat of our brows and the labor of our hands. Our
fare is not abstemious, nor have we made any vow against the temp-
tations of a life about the court. If you will make one of our party,
my brethren will be glad of your company ; for you always seemed
to me a man of spirit, above all vulgar prejudices, in short, a monk
of our order.'
" Such frankness from this arch scoundrel was met half way by
mine. ' Since you talk to me with so winning a candor,' said I,
'you deserve that I should be equally explicit with you. In good
truth I am no novice in your ritual ; and if my modesty would allow
me to be the hero of my own tale, you would be convinced that
your compliments were not lavished on an unworthy subject. But
enough of my own commendations ; proceed we to the point in ques-
tion. With all possible desire to become a member of your body,
I shall neglect no opportunity of proving my title to that distinc-
tion.' I had no sooner told this sharper at all points that I would
agree to swell the number of his gang, than he conducted me to
their place of meeting, and introduced me in proper form. It was
on this occasion that I first saw the renowned Ambrose de Lamela.
These gentlemen catechised me in the religion of coveting my neigh-
bor's goods, and doing as I would not be done by. They wanted to
discern whether I played the villain on principle, or had only some
little practical dexterity ; but I showed them tricks which they did
not know to be on the cards, and yet acknowledged to be better than
their own. They were still deeper lost in admiration, when, in cool
disdain of manual artifice, as an every-day effort of ingenuity, I
maintained my prowess in such combinations of roguery as require
an inventive brain and a solid judgment to support them. In
proof of these pretensions, I related the adventure of Jerome de
Moyadas ; and on this single specimen of my parts, they conceived
my genius of so high an order, as to elect me by common con-
sent for their leader. Their choice was fully justified by a host
of slippery devices of which I was the master-wheel, the corner-
stone, or according to whatever other metaphor in mechanics you
may best express the soul of a conspiracy. When we had occasion
for a female performer to heighten the interest, Camilla was sent
314 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
upon the stage, and played up to admiration in the parts she had
to perform.
" Just at that period, our friend and brother Ambrose was seized
with a longing to see his native country once more. He started for
Galicia, with an assurance that we might reckon on his return. The
visit cured his patriotic sickness. As he was on the road back,
having halted at Burgos to strike some str©ke of business, an inn-
keeper of his acquaintance introduced him into the service of Signor
Gil Bias de Santillane, not forgetting to instruct him thoroughly in
the state of that gentleman's affairs. Signor Gil Bias," pursued
Don Raphael, addressing his discourse to me, " you know in what
manner we eased you of your movables in a ready- furnished lodging
at Valladolid ; and you must doubtless have suspected Ambrose to
have been the principal contriver of that exploit, and not without
reason. On his coming into town, he ran himself out of breath to
find us, and laid open every particular of your situation, so that the
associated swindlers had nothing to do but to build on his founda-
tion. But you are unacquainted with the consequences of that ad-
venture; you shall therefore have them on my authority. Your
portmanteau was made free with by Ambrose and myself. We also
took the liberty of riding your mules in the direction of Madrid, not
dropping the least hint to Camilla nor to our partners in iniquity,
who must have partaken in some measure of your feelings in the
morning, at finding their glory shorn of two such beams.
" On the second day we changed our purpose. Instead of going
to Madrid, whence I had not sallied forth without an urgent motive,
we passed by Zebreros, and continued our journey as far as Toledo.
Our first care, in that town, was to dress ourselves in the genteelest
style ; then, assuming the character of two brothers from Galicia on
our travels of mere curiosity, we Soon got acquainted in the most
respectable circles. I was so much in the habit of acting the man of
fashion, as not easily to be detected ; and as the generality of people
are blinded by a free expenditure, we threw dust into the eyes of all
the world, by the elegant entertainments to which we invited the
ladies. Among the women who frequented our parties, there was
one not indifferent to me. She appeared more beautiful than Cam-
illa, and certainly much younger. I inquired who she was ; and
learned that her name was Violante, and that she was married to an
ungrateful spark, who soon grew weary of her chaste caresses, and
was running after those of a prostitute, with whom he .was in love.
There was no need to say any more to determine me on enthroning
Violante the sovereign lady and mistress of my thoughts and aflfec-
tions.
"She was not long in coming to the knowledge of her conquest. I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 315 ,
began by foUowiug her about from place to place, and playing a
hundred monkey tricks to instill into her comprehension that nothing
would please me better than the office of making her amends for the
ill usage of her husband. The pretty creature ruminated on my
proffered kindness, and to such purpose as to let me know in the
end that my labor was not wasted on an ungrateful soil. I received
a note from her in answer to several I had transmitted by one of
those convenient old dowagers in such high request throughout
Spain and Italy. The lady sent me word that her husband supped
with his mistress every evening, and did not return home till very
late. It was impossible to mistake the meaning of this. On that
very night I planted. myself under Violante's windows, and engaged
her in a most tender conversation. At the moment of parting, it Avas
settled between us that every evening, at the same hour, we should
meet and converse on the same everlasting topic, without gainsaying
any such other acts of gallantry as might safely be submitted to the
peering eye of day.
" Hitherto Don Balthazar, as Violante's husband was called, had
had no reason to complain of his forehead ; but I was a natural phi-
losopher, and little satisfied with metaphysical endearments. ' One
evening, therefore, I repaired under my lady's windows, with the
design of telling her that there was an end of life and everything if
we could not come together on more accommodating terms than from
the balcony to the street ; for I had never yet been able to get into
the house. Just as I got thither, a man came within sight, appa-
rently with the view of dogging me. In fact, it was the husband
returning earlier than usual from his precious bit of amusement ;
but observing a male nuisance near his nunnery, instead of coming
straight home, he walked backwards and forwards in the street. It
was almost a moot point with me what I ought to do. At last, I
resolved on accosting Don Balthazar, though neither of us had the
slightest knowledge of the other. ' Noble gentleman,' said I, ' you
would do me a most particular favor by leaving the street vacant to
me for this one night; I would do as much for you another time.'
' Sir,' answered he, ' I was just going to make the same request to
you. I am on the lookout after a girl, over whom a confounded
fellow of a brother keeps watch and ward like a jailer; and she lives
not twenty yards from this place. I could wish to carry on my pro-
ject without a witness.' 'We have the means,' replied I, 'of attain-
ing both our ends without clashing; for the lady of my desires lives
there,' added I, pointing to his own house. ' We had better even
help one another, in case of being attacked.' ' With all my heart,'
resumed he ; ' I will go to my appointment, and we will make com-
mon cause, if need be.' Under this pretence he went away, but
316 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
only to observe me the more narrowly ; and the darkness of the
night favored his doing so without detection.
" As for me, I made up to Violante's balcony in the simplicity of
my heart. She soon heard my signal, and we began our usual
parley. I was not remiss in pressing the idol of my worship to
grant me a private interview in some safe and practicable place.
She was rather coy to my entreaties, as favors hardly earned are
the higher valued : at length she took a letter out of her pocket,
and flung it down to me. ' There,' said she, ' you will find in that
scrap of paper the promise of what you have teased me so long
about.' She then withdrew, as the hour approached^ when her hus-
band usually came home. I put the note up carefully, and went
towards the place where Don Balthazar had told me that his busi-
ness lay. But that stanch husband, with the sagacity of an old
sportsman where his own wife was the game, came more than half
way to meet me, with this question : ' Well, good sir, are you satis-
fied with your happy fortunes ?' ' I have reason to be so,' answered
I. 'And as for yourself, what have you done? Has the blind god
befriended you?' 'Alas! quite the contrary,' replied he; 'that im-
pertinent brother, who takes such liberties with my beauty, thought
fit to come back from his country house, whence we hugged our-
selves as sure that he would not return till to-morrow. This
infernal chance has put all my soft and soothing pleasures out of
tune.'
"Nothing could exceed the mutual pledges of lasting friendship
which were exchanged between Don Balthazar and me. To draw
the cords the closer, we made an appointment for the next morning
in the great square. This plotting gentleman, after we had parted,
betook himself to his own house, without giving Violante at all to
understand that he knew more about her than she"wished him to. On
the following day he was punctual in the great square, and I was
not five minutes after him. We exchanged greetings with all the
warmth of old friendship ; but it was a vapor to mislead on his part,
though a spark of heavenly flame on mine. In the course of con-
versation, this hypocritical Don Balthazar palmed upon me a ficti-
tious confidence, respecting his intrigue with the lady about whom
he had been speaking the night before. He put together a long
story he had been manufacturing on that subject, and all this to
hook me in to tell him, in return, by what means 1 had got ac-
quainted with Violante. The snare was too subtle for me to escape ;
I owned all with the innocence of a new-born babe. I did not even
stick at showing the note I had received from her, and read the
contents, to the following purport: 'I am going to-morrow to dine
with Donna Inez. You know where she lives. It is in the house
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 317
of that confidential friend that I mean to pass some happy momenta
along with you. It is impossible longer to refuse a boon your
patience has so well merited.'
" ' Here indeed,' said Don Balthazar, 'is an epistle which promises
to crown all your wishes at once. I congratulate you beforehand
on your approaching happiness.' He could not help fidgeting and
wriggling a little while he talked in these terms of his own house-
hold ; but all his hitches and wry faces passed off, and my eyes were
as fast sealed as ever. I was so full of anticipating titillations, as
not to think of noticing my new friend, who was obliged to get off
as fast as he could, for fear of betraying his agitation in my presence.
He ran to acquaint his brother-in-law with this strange occurrence.
I know not now what passed between them : it is only certain that
Don Balthazar happened to knock at Donna Inez's door just when
I was at that lady's house with Violante. We were warned who it
was, and I escaped by a back door exactly as he went in at the front.
As soon as I had got safe off, the women, whom the unexpected
visit of this troublesome husband had disconcerted a little, recovered
their presence of mind, and with it so large a stock of assurance, as
to stand the brunt of his attack, and put him to a nonplus in ascer-
taining whether they had hid me or smuggled me out. I cannot
exactly tell you what he said to Donna Inez and his wife ; nor do
I believe that history will ever furnish any authentic particulars of
the squabble.
" In the meantime, without suspecting yet how completely I was
gulled by Don Balthazar, I sallied forth with curses in my mouth,
and returned to the great square, where I had appointed Lamela to
meet me. But no Lamela was there. He also had his little snug
parties, and the scoundrel fared better than his comrade. As I was
waiting for him, I caught a glimpse of my treacherous associate,
with a knowing smile upon his countenance. He made up to me,
and inquired, with a hearty laugh, what news of my assignation
with my nymph, under the convenient roof of Donna Inez. ' I can-
not conceive,' said I, * what evil spirit, jealous of my joys, takes
delight to nip them in their blossom : but after we had embraced,
kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoken the prologue of our comedy,
comes the peaking cornuto of a husband (the Furies fly away with
him !), and knocks at the door in the instant of our encounter. There
was nothing to be done but to secure my retreat as fast as possible.
So I got out at a back door, sending to all the inhabitants of hell
and its suburbs the jealous knave who was so uncivil as to search
another lady's house for his own horns.' * I am sorry you sped so
ill-favoredly,' exclaimed Don Balthazar, who was chuckling with
inward satisfaction at my disappointment. 'What a mechanical
818 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
rogue of a husband I I would advise you to show no mercy to the
wittol.' ' Oh, you need not teach me how to predominate over such
a peasant,' replied I. ' Take my word for it, a new quarter shall be
fidded to his coat of arms this very night. His wife, when I went
away, told me not to be faint-hearted for such a trifle, but to place
myself without fail under her windows at an earlier hour than
usual, for she was resolved to let me into the house ; and, as' a pre-
caution against all accidents, she begged me to bring two or three
friends in my train, for fear of a surprise.' * What a discreet and in-
ventive lady I' said he. * I should have no objection to being of
your party.' * Ah I my dear friend,' exclaimed I, out of wits with
joy, and throwing my arms about Don Balthazar's neck, * how infi-
nitely you will oblige me 1' ' I will do more,' resumed he ; ' I know a
young man, armed like another Csesar, for either field of love or
war ; he shall be of our number, and you may then rely boldly on
the sufljciency of your escort.'
" I knew not in what words to thanks this seeming friend, so that
my gratitude might be equivalent to his zeal. To make short of
the matter, I accepted his proffered aid. Our meeting was fixed
under Violante's balcony early in the evening, and we parted. He
went in quest of his brother-in-law, who was the hero in question.
As for me, I walked about all day with Lamela, who had no more
misgivings than myself, though somewhat astonished at the warmth
with which Don Balthazar engaged in my interests. AVe slipped
our own necks completely into the noose. I own this was mere in-
fatuation on our parts, whose natural instinct ought to have warned
us of a halter. When I thought it proper time to present myself
under Violante's windows, Ambrose and I took care to be armed
with small-swords. There we found the husband of my fair dame
and another man, waiting for us with a very determined air. Dou
Balthazar accosted me, and introducing his brother-in-law, said,
'Sir, this is the brave oflicer whose prowess I have extolled so
highly to you. Make the best of your way into your mistress's
house, and let no fear of the consequences be any bar to the enjoy-
ment of the most rapturous human bliss.'
After a mutual interchange of compliments, I knocked at Vio-
lante's door. It was opened by a kind of duenna. In I went, and
without looking back after what was passing behind me, made the
best of my way to the lady's room. While I was paying her my
preliminary civilities, the two cutthroats who had followed me into
the house, and had banged the door after them so violently that
Ambrose was left in the street, made their appearance. You may
well suppose that then was the appeal to arms. They both fell upon
me at the same time ; but I showed them some play. I kept them.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 319
engaged on either side so fiercely, that they were sorry, perhaps, not
to have taken a safer road to tlieir revenge. The husband was run
through the body. His brother-in-law, seeing him on his travels to
the shades below, made the best of his way to the door, which the
duenna and Violante had opened, to make their escape while we
were fighting. I ran after him into the street, where I met with
Lamela once more, who, by dint of not being able to get a word
out of the women, running as they did for their very lives, did not
know exactly what he was to divine from the infernal noise he had
just heard. We got back to our inn. After packing up what was
best worth taking with us, we mounted our mules, and got out of
town, without waiting for daybreak or fear of robbers.
" It was sufficiently clear that this business was not likely to be
without its consequences, and that a hue and cry would be set up in
Toledo, which we should act like wise men to anticipate by a retreat.
We staid the night at Villarubia. At the inn where we put up,
some time after our arrival, there alighted a tradesman of Toledo
on his way to Segorba. We clubbed our suppers. He related to us
the tragical catastrophe of Violante's husband , and so far was he
from suspecting us of being parties concerned, that we inquired into
particulars with the curious indifference of common newsmongers.
' Gentlemen,' said he, 'just as I was setting out this morning, the
report of this melancholy event was handed about. Every one was
on the hunt after Violante ; and they say that the corregidor, a rela-
tion of Don Balthazar, is determined on sparing no pains to discover
the perpetrators of this murder. So much for my knowledge of the
business.'
"The corregidor of Toledo and his police gave me very little
uneasiness. But, for fear of the worst, I determined to precipitate
my retreat from New Castile. It occurred to me that Violante,
when hunted out of her hiding-place, would turn informer, and in
that case she might give such a description of my person to the
clerks in office as might enable them to put their scouts upon a
right scent. For this reason, on the following day we struck out of
the high road, as a measure of safety. Fortunately Lamela was
acquainted with three-fourths of Spain, and knew by what cross-
paths we could get securely into Arragon. Instead of going straight
to Cuen9a, we threaded the defiles of the mountains overhanging
that town, and arrived, by ways with which my guide was well
acquainted, at a grotto looking very much like a hermitage. In fact,
it was the very place whither you came yesterday evening to petition
me for an asylum.
" While I was reconnoitring the neighborhood, which presented a
most delicious landscape to my view, my companion said to me, ' It
SaO ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
is six years since I travelled this way. At that time the grotto
before us afforded a retreat to an old hermit who entertained me
charitably. He made me fare as he did. I remember that he was
a holy man, and talked in such a strain as almost to wean me from
the vices and follies of this nether world. He may possibly be still
living; I will ascertain whether it be so or not.' With these words
in his mouth, Ambrose, under the influence of natural curiosity,
alighted from his mule, and went into the hermitage. He remained
there some minutes, and then returned, calling after me, and say-
ing, * Come hither, Don Raphael, and bear witness to a most affect-
ing event.' I at once dismounted. We tied our mules to a tree, and
I followed Lamela into the grotto, where I descried an old anchoret
stretched at his length upon a couch, pale and at the point of death.
A white beard, very thick, hung down to his middle, and he held a
large' rosary, most piously ornamented, in his clasped hands. At the
noise which we made in coming near him, he opened his eyes, upon
which death had already begu-n to lay his leaden hand, and after
having looked at us for a moment, said, ' Whosoever you are, my
brethren, profit by the spectacle which presents itself to your obser-
vation. I have seen out forty years in the world, and sixty in this
solitude. But mark ! At this eternal crisis, the time I have devoted
to my pleasures seems an age, and that, on the contrary, which has
been sacred to repentance, but a minute I Alas ! I fear lest the
austerities of brother Juan should be found light in the balance with
the sins of the licentiate Don Juan de Solis.'
" No sooner were these words out of his mouth than he breathed
his last. We were struck by the solemn scene. Objects of this kind
always make some impression even on the greatest libertines ; but
our serious thoughts were of no long duration. We soon forgot
what he had been saying to us, and began making an inventory of
what the hermitage contained — an employment which was not very
laborious, since the household furniture extended no further than
what you remarked in the grotto. Brother Juan was not only in ill-
furnished lodgings: his kitchen, too, was in a very rustic plight.
All the store laid in consisted of some small nuts and some pieces of
crusty barley bread as hard as flint, which had all the appearance of
having been impregnable to the gums of the venerable man. I spe-
cify his gums, because we looked for his teeth, and found they had
all dropped out. The whole arrangement of this solitary abode,
every object that met our eyes, made us look upon this good ancho-
ret as a pattern of sanctity. One thing only staggered us in our
opinion. We opened a paper folded in the form of a letter, and
lying upon the table, wherein he besought the person who should
read the contents to carry his rosary and sandals to the bishop of
ADVENTUREii OF GIL BLAS. 321
Cuen^'a. We could not make out in what spirit this modern recluse
of the desert could aim at making such a present to his bishop. It
seemed to us to tread somewhat on the heels of his humility, and to
savor of one who was a candidate for a niche in the calendar.
Though indeed it might be that there was nothing in it but a simple
supposition that the bishop was such as himself; but whether his
ignorance was really so extreme, I shall not pretend to decide.
" In talking over this subject, a very pleasant idea occurred to
Lamela. * Let us take up our abode,' said he, ' in this holy retreat.
The disguise of hermits will become us. Brother Juan must be laid
quietly in the earth. You shall personate him ; and for myself, in
the character of brother Anthony, I will go and see what is to be
done in the neighboring towns and villages. Besides that we shall
be too cunningly ensconced for the prying curiosity of the corregi-
dor, since it is not to be supposed that he will think of coming
hither to look for us, I have some good connections at Cuen^a,
which may be of essential service to us.' I fell in with this odd
whim, not so much for the reasons given me by Ambrose, as in
compliance with the humor of the thing, and as it were to play a
part in a dramatic piece. We made an excavation in the ground at
about thirty or forty yards from the grotto, and buried the old
anchoret there, without any pompous rites, after having stripped
him of his wardrobe, which consisted of a single gown tied round
the middle with a leathern girdle. We likewise despoiled him of his
beard, to make me an artificial one, and finally, after his interment,
we took possession of the hermitage.
" The first day our table was but meanly served ; the provisions
of the deceased were all we had to feed on ; but on the following
morning, before sunrise, Lamela set off to sell the two mules at
Toralva, and returned in the evening laden with provisions and
other articles which he had purchased. He brought everything
necessary to metamorphose us completely. For himself he had
provided a gown of coarse dark cloth, and a little red horse-hair
beard, so ingeniously appended to his ears that one would have
sworn that it was natural. There is not a cleverer fellow in the
universe for a frolic. Brother Juan's beard was also new-modelled,
and adapted to the plumpness of my face. My brown woollen cap
completed the masquerade. In fact, nothing was wanting to make
us pass for what we were not. Our equipage was so ludicrously
out of character, that we could not look at one another without
laughing, under a garb so diametrically at variance with our gene-
ral complexion. With brother Juan's mantle, I caught and kept his
rosary and sandals, taking the liberty of borrowing them for the
time being from the bishop of Cuen^a.
21
822 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
" We had already been three days in the hermitage, without hav-
ing been interrupted by a living soul; but on the fourth, two
countrymen came into the grotto. They brought bread, cheese,
and onions, for the deceased, whom they supposed to be still living.
I threw myself on our miserable couch as soon as they made their
appearance ; and it was not difficult to impose on them. Besides
that it was too dark to distinguish my features accurately, I imitated
the voice of brother Juan, whose last words I had heard, to the best
of my ability. They had no suspicion of the trick, though a good
deal surprised at finding another hermit there. Lamela, taking ad-
vantage of their stupid wonder, said, in a canting tone, ' My breth-
ren, be not astonished at seeijjg me in this solitude. I have quitted
a hermitage of my own in Arragon, to come hither and be a com-
panion to the venerable and edifying brother Juan, who, at his ad-
vanced age, wants a yoke-fellow to administer to his necessities.'
The rustics lavished their clumsy panegyrics on the charity of Am-
brose, and congratulated themselves that they might triumph over
their neighbors, and boast of two holy personages residing in their
country.
" Lamela, laden with a large wallet which he had not forgotten
among the number of his purchases, went for the first time to recon-
noitre the town of Cuen^a, which is but a very short distance from
the hermitage. With a mortified exterior, by which nature had
dubbed him for a cheat, and the art of making that natural decep-
tion go as far as possible by a most hypocritical and factitious array
of features, he could not fail to play upon the feelings of the char-
itable and humane, and those whom Heaven has blessed with
affluence. His knapsack bore testimony to the extravagance of
their pioiis liberalities. 'Master Ambrose,' said I on his return, 'I
congratulate you on your happy knack at softening the souls of all
good Christians. As we hope to be saved, one would suppose you
had been a mendicant friar among the Capuchins.' * I have done
something else besides bringing in food for the convent,' answered
he. ' You must know that I have ferreted out a certain lass called
Barbara, with whom I used to flirt formerly. She is as much altered
as any of us ; for she also has addicted herself to a godly life. She
forms a coterie with two or three other sanctified dames, who are an
■'xample to the faithful in public, and flounce over head and ears
in every sort of private vice. She did not know me again at first.
"What, then, Mistress Barbara," said I, "is it possible that you
should have discharged one of your oldest friends from your remem-
brance, your servant Ambrose?" "As I am a true Christian, Signor
de Lamela," exclaimed she, " I never thought to have turned you up
in such a garb as that. By what transformation are you become a
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 323
hermit?" " That is more than I can tell you just now," rejoined I.
" The particulars are rather long ; but I will come to-morrow evening
and satisfy your curiosity. Nay, more ; I will bring brother Juan,
my companion, along with me." " Brother Juan," interrupted she,
" the venerable hermit who has taken up his saintly residence near
this town ? You do not know Avhat you are saying ; he is supposed
to be more than a hundred years old." "It is very true," said I,
" that he was of that age some little while ago ; but time, in defer-
ence to his sanctity, has gone backward with him ; and he is grown
considerably younger within these few days. He is at present just
about my turn of life." "' Say you so ! Then let us have him too,"
replied Barbara. " I perceive there is something more in this mys-
tery than the church will be able to explain." '
" We did not miss our appointment with these whited sepulchres
on the following night. To make our reception the more agreeable,
they had laid out a sumptuous entertainment. Off went our beards
and cowls, and vestments of mortification ; and without any squeam-
ishness we confessed our birth, education, and real character, to
these sisters in hypocrisy. On their part, for fear of being behind-
hand with us in freedom from prejudice, they fairly let us see of
what pretended religionists are capable, when they drop the veil of
the sanctuary, and exhibit their unmanufactured faces. We spent
almost the whole night at table, and got back to our grotto but a
moment before daybreak. We were not long in repeating our visit;
or, if the truth must be told, it was nightly for three months ; till
we ate up more than two thirds of our ways and means in the com-
pany of these delicate creatures. But an unsuccessful candidate for
their favor got wind of our proceedings, and prated of our where-
abouts in the ear of justice, which was to have been in motion
towards the hermitage this very day, to lay hold of our persons.
Yesterday Ambrose, while picking up eleemosynaries at Cuenqa,
stumbled upon one of our whining sisterhood, who gave him a note,
with this caution : ' A female friend of mine has written me this
letter, which I was going to send to you by a man on purpose. Show
it to brother Juan, and regulate your proceedings accordingly.' It
was this very note, gentlemen, that Lamela gave me in your pres-
ence, which occasioned us to take so abrupt a leave of our solitary
dwelling."
324 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
CHAPTER II.
DON RAPHAEL'S CONSULTATION WITH HIS COMPANY ; THEIR ADVENTTTRES
AS THEY WERE PREPARING TO LEAVE THE WOOD.
WHEN Don Raphael had finished the narrative of his adven-
turous life, which, with all the other qualities of romance,
had the tediousness, Don Alphonso, according to the laws of good
breeding, swore himself black in the face that he had been pro-
digiously entertained. After the usual exchange of compliments,
Signor Ambrose put in his oar, with an admonitory hint to the
partner of his exploits and peregrinations. " Consider, Don Raphael,
that the sun is setting. It would not be amiss, methinks, to take
counsel on what we are to do." " You are in the right," answered
his comrade ; " we must determine on the place of our destina-
tion." " For my own part," replied Lamela, " I am of opinion that
we should get upon the road again without loss of time, reach
Requena to-night, and enter upon the territory of Valencia
to-morrow, where we will go to work full tilt at our old trade. 1
have some prognosticating twitches, which tell me that we shall
strike some good strokes in that quarter." His colleague, from
ample experience of his infallibility in such prophecies, voted on
his side of the question. As for Don Alphonso and myself, having
nothing to do but to follow the lead of these two worthy gentlemen,
we waited in silent acquiescence the issue of this momentous
debate.
Thus it was determined that we should take the direction of
Requena ; and all hands were piped to make the necessary arrange-
ments. We made our meal after the same fashion as in the
morning, and the horse was laden with the bottle, and with the
remnant of our provisions. After a time, the approach of night
seemed to promise us that darkness so friendly, and even so neces-
sary to the safety of our retreat ; and we were beginning our march
through the wood; but before we had gone a hundred paces, a
light among the trees gave us a subject of anxious speculation.
"What can be the meaning of that?" said Don Raphael; "these
surely must be bloodhounds of the police from Cuenqa, uncoupled
and eager for the sport, with a fresh scent of us in this forest, and
in full cry after their game." " I am of a verj' different opinion,"
said Ambrose; "they are more likely to be benighted travellers
taking shelter in the thicket till daybreak. But there is no trusting
to conjecture : I will examine into the real truth. Stay you here,
all three of you ; I will be back again instantly." No soonex said
i
ADVENTUMES OF GIL BIAS. 325
than done ; he stole, just as if he had been used to it, towards the
light, which was not far ofif ; no brute or human thief of forest or
city could have done it better. With a gentle removal of the
leaves and branches which obstructed his passage, the whole scene
was laid open to his silent contemplation ; and it afforded sufficient
food. On the grass, round about a lighted candle with a clod for
its candlestick, were seated four men, just finishing a meat pie, and
hugging a pretty large bottle, which was at its last gasp, after
having sustained their alternate embraces for successive rounds.
At some paces from these gentry, he espied a lady and gentleman
tied to the trees, and, a little farther off, a carriage with two mules
richly caparisoned. He determined at once in his own mind that
the fellows carousing on the ground were banditti ; and the tenor
of their talk assured him that he had not belied their trade by his
conjecture. The four cutthroats all avowed a like desire of possess-
ing the female who had fallen into their hands ; and they were propos-
ing to draw lots for her. Lamela, having made himself master of the
business, came back to us, and gave an exact account of all he had
seen and heard.
" My friends," said Don Alphonso, on his recital, " that lady and
gentleman, whom the robbers have tied to trees, are probably
persons of the first condition. Shall we suffer scoundrels like thege
to triumph over their honor and take away their lives ? Put your-
selves under my direction : let us assail the desperate outlaws, and
they will perish under our attack." " With all my heart," said
Don Raphael. " It is all one to me. I had just as soon engage on
the right side as on the wrong." Ambrose, for his part, protested
that he wished for nothing better than to lend a hand in so moral
an enterprise, as it promised to combine much profit with some
share of honor. And indeed, if a man may speak a good word for
himself, danger stood better recommended than usual to my com-
prehension ; all the boiling courage of knighthood, pledged up to
the knuckles or the chin on the behalf of female innocence, was
oozing out at every pore of this chivalrous person. But, if we are
to state facts in the spirit of history rather than of romance, the
danger was more in imagination than in reality. Lamela having
brought us word that the arms of the robbers were all piled up at
the distance of ten or twelve paces out of their reach, there was no
difficulty in securing the mastery of the field. We tied our horses
to a tree, and drew near, as softly as possible, to the spot where the
robbers were seated. They were debating with some impetuosity,
and their vociferous argument was all in favor of our covert
attack. We got possession of their arms before they had any
suspicion of us. But the enemy was nearer than they imagined —
826 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
too near to miss aim ; and they were all stretched lifeless on the
ground.
During the conflict the candle went out, so that we proceeded in
our business by guess-work. We were not remiss, however, in
unbinding the prisoners, of whom fear had got such complete posses-
sion, that they had not their wits enough about them to thank us for
what we had done for them. It must be allowed that they could
not at first distinguish whether they were to consider us as their
deliverers, or as a fresh gang who had taken them out of one furnace
to cast them hissing into another. But we recovered their spirits
by the assurance that we should lodge them safely in a public-house
which Ambrose mentioned as not being more than half a mile off,
whence they might take all necessary measures to pursue their
journey in whatever direction they thought proper. After these
words of comfort, which seemed to sink deep, we placed them in
their carriage, and conducted them out of the wood, holding their
mules by the bridle. Our clerical friends instituted a ghostly visi-
tation to the pockets of the vanquished banditti. Our next step
was to recover Don Alphonso's horse. We also took to ourselves
the steeds of the roBbers, waiting, as they were, to be released from
the trees to which they were tied near the field of battle. With this
extensive calvacade we followed brother Antony, mounted on one
of the rabies, and conducting the carriage to the inn, whither we did
not arrive in less than two hours, though he had pledged his credit
that the distance from the wood was very short.
We knocked roughly at the door. Every living creature was
napping, except the fleas. The landlord and landlady got on their
clothes in. a hurry, and were not at all annoyed at finding their rest
disturbed by the arrival of an equipage which promised to do more
for the good of the house than it eventually did. The whole inn
was lighted up in an instant. Don Alphonso and the stage-bred
son of Lucinda lent their assistance to the gentleman and lady in
alighting from the carriage, and acted as their ushers in leading the
way to the room prepared for them by the landlord. Compliments
flew backwards and forwards like shuttlecocks ; but we were not a
little astonished at discovering the Count de Polan himself and his
daughter Seraphina in the persons we had just rescued. It would
be diflicult to represent by words the surprise of that lady, as well
as of Don Alphonso, when they recognized each other's features.
The count took no notice of it, his attention being engrossed by
other matters. He set about relating to us in what manner the
robbers had attacked him, and how they secured his daughter and
himself, after having killed his postilion, a page, and a valet-de-
chambre. He ended with declaring how deeply he felt his obliga-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
327
tion, and that, if we would call upon him at Toledo, where he should
be in a month, we should judge for ourselves whether he felt as a
grateful heart ought to feel.
His lordship's daughter was not backward in her acknowledg-
ments for her timely rescue ; and as we were of opinion — that is,
Raphael and myself — that we should do a good turn to Don Al-
phonso by giving him an opportunity of a minute's private parley
with the young widow, we contrived to keep the Count de Polan in
play. " Lovely Seraphina," said Don Alphonso to the lady, in a
low voice, " I no longer lament over the lot which obliges me to
live like a man banished from civil society, since I have been so
fortunate as to assist in the important service just rendered you."
" What, then," answered she, with a sigh, " it is you who have saved
my life and honor ? Is it to you that we are so indebted, myself
equally with my father ? Ah I Don Alphonso, why were you the
instrument of my brother's death ?" She said no more upon the
subject; but he conceived clearly by these words, and by the tone
in which they were pronounced, that if he was over head and ears
in love with Seraphina, she was equally out of her depth in the
same passion.
328 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
BOOK VI.
CHAPTEE I.
THE FATE OF GIL BLAS AND HIS COMPANIONS AFTEK THEY TOOK
LEAVE OF THE COUNT DE POLAN.
THE Count de Polan, after having exhausted half the night in
thanking us, and protesting that we might reckon upon his
substantial acknowledgments, sent for the landlord, to consult him
on the best method of getting' safely to Turis, whither it was his
intention to go. We had nothing to do with this nobleman's further
progress, and therefore left him to take his own measures. Our
departure from the inn was now resolved on ; and we followed La-
mela like sheep after the bell-wether.
After two hours' travelling, the day overtook us near Campillo.
We made as expeditiously as possible for the mountains between
that hamlet and Requena. There we wore out the day in taking
our rest and reckoning up our stock, which the spoil of the robbers
had considerably replenished, to the amount of more than three
hundred pistoles, the lawful ravage of their pockets. We began
our march again with the setting in of the night, and on the follow-
ing morning reached the frontier of Valencia in safety. We got
quietly into the first wood that offered as a shelter. The inmost
recesses of it were best suited to our purpose, and led us on by
winding paths to a spot where a rivulet of transparent water was
meandering in its slow and silent course, to incorporate with the
waters of Gaudalaviar. The refreshing shade aiforded by the foli-
age, and the rich pasturage in which our toil-worn beasts so much
delighted, would have fixed this for the place of our halting, if our
resolution had not been previously taken to that effect.
We therefore alighted, and were preparing to pass the day very
pleasantly; but a good breakfast was amongst the foremost of our
intended pleasures, and we found that there was very little ammu-
nition left. Bread was beginning to be a nonentity ; and our bottle
was becoming an evidence of the material system, mere carnal
leather without a vivifying soul. "Gentlemen," said Ambrose,
"scenery and the picturesque have but hungry charms for me,
unless Bacchus and Ceres preside over the landscape. Our pro-
visions must be lengthened out. For this purpose, away post I to
Xelva. It is a very pretty town, not more than two leagues oflP. I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 329
shall soon make this little excursion." Speaking after this manner,
he slung the bottle and a wallet over a horse's back, leaped merrily
into his seat, and shot out of the wood with a rapidity which seemed
to bid fair for a speedy return.
He did not, however, come back quite as soon as he had given us
reason to expect. More than half the day had elapsed; nay, night
herself was already pranking up her dun and gloomy wings, to over-
shadow the thicket with a denser horror, when we saw our purveyor
once again, whose long stay was beginning to give us some uneasi-
ness. Our extreme wishes were lame and impotent compared with
the abundance of his stores. He not only produced the bottle,
filled with some excellent wine, and the wallet stuffed with game
and poultry ready dressed, to say nothing of bread, — the horse was
laden besides with a large bundle of stuffs, of which we could make
neither head nor tail. He took notice of our wonder, and said with
a smile, " I will lay a wager neither Don Eaphael nor all the col-
leges of soothsayers upon earth can guess why I have bought these
articles." With this fling at our dullness, he untied the bundle, and
lectured on the intrinsic value of what we had been considering
only as an empty pageant. In the inventory was a cloak and a
black gown of trailing dimensions ; doublets, breeches, and hose to
correspond ; an inkstand and writing paper such as a secretary of
state need not be ashamed of; a key such as a treasurer might
carry ; a great seal and green wax such as a chancellor might affix
to his decreas. When he had at length exhausted the display of his
bargains, Don Raphael observed in a bantering tone, " Faith and
troth. Master Ambrose, it must be confessed that you have made a
good, sensible speculation. But pray, how do you mean to turn the
penny on your purchase ?" " Let me alone for that," answered
Lamela. "All these things cost me only ten pistoles, and it shall
go hard but they bring us in above five hundred. The tens in five
hundred are fifty ; a good improvement of money, my masters I I
am not a man to burden myself with a trumpery pedler's pack; and
to prove to you that I have not been making ducks and drakes of
our joint stock, I will let you into the secret of a plan which has
just taken birth in my pericranium.
"After having laid in my stock of bread, I went into a cook's shop,
where I ordered a range of partridges, chickens, and young rabbits,
half a dozen of each, to be put instantly on the spit. While these
relishing little articles were roasting, in came a man in a violent
passion, open-mouthed against the coarse conduct of a tradesman
to his consequential self. This fagot of fury observed to the lord
paramount of the dripping-pan, ' By St. James I Samuel Simon is
the most wrong-headed retail dealer in the town of Xelva. He has
830 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
just insulted me in his own shop before his customers. The skin-
flint would not trust me for six ells of cloth, though he knows very
well that my credit is as good as the bank, and that no one could
say he ever lost anything by me. Are not you delighted with the
outlandish monster? He has no objection to getting people of
fashion on his books. He had rather toss up heads or tails with
them than oblige a plain citizen in an honest way, and be paid in
full at the time appointed. What a strange whim 1 But he is an
infernal Jew. He will be taken in some day or other I All the
merchants on the Exchange are lying in wait to catch him upon the
hip ; and his disgrace or ruin will be nuts to me.*
"While this reptile of the warehouse was thus spitting his spite
and blurting out many other ill-natured innuendoes, there came
over me a sort of astrological anticipation that I should be lord of
the ascendant over this Samuel Simon. ' My friend,' said I to the
man who was complaining against that hawker of damaged goods,
* of what character is the strange fellow you are talking about?'
*0f a confoundedly bad character,' answered he in a pet. 'De-
pend on it, be is one of the most extortionate usurers in existence,
though with the affectation of not letting his left hand know what
his right gives away in charity. He was a Jew, and has turned
Catholic ; but rip your way into his heart, if he has any, and you
will find him still as inveterate a Jew as ever Pilate was. As for
his conversion, it was all in the way of trade.'
" I took in with a greedy ear the whole invective of the shop-keep-
ing declaimant, and failed not, on coming out of the eating-house, to
inquire for Samuel Simon's residence. A person directed me to the
part of the town, and there was no difficulty in finding out the
house. It was not enough to skim my eye cursorily over his shop.
I peered into every hole and corner of it; and my imagination,
always on the alert when any profit is to be picked up, has already
engendered a rogue's trick, which only waits the period of gestation,
when it may turn out a bantling not unworthy to be fathered by
the sanctimonious servant of Signor Gil Bias. Straightway went I
to the ready-made warehouse, where I bought these dresses, into
which we may stuff an inquisitor, a notary, and an alguazil, and
play the parts in the spirit of the solemn offices they represent."
" Ah I my dear Ambrose," interrupted Don Eaphael, transported
with rapture at the suggestion, " what a wonderful idea I a glorious
scheme indeed ! I am quite jealous of the contrivance. Willingly
would I blot out the proudest quarter from my escutcheon to have
owned an effort of genius so transcendent. Yes, Lamela, I see, my
friend, all the rich invention of the design, and you need be at no
loss for instruments to carry it into effect. You want two good
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 331
actors to play up to you ; and you have not far to look for them.
You have yourself a face that can look sanctified, magisterial, or
bloodthirsty at will, and may do very well to represent the Inquisi-
tion. My character shall be that of the notary; and Signor Gil Bias,
if he pleases, may enact the alguazil. Thus are the persons of the
drama distributed : to-morrow we will play the piece, and I will
pledge myself for its success, bating one of those unlucky chance
medleys which turn awry the currents of the most pithy and mo-
mentous enterprises."
As yet Don Raphael's masterpiece of roguery had made but a
clumsy impression on my plodding brain ; but the argument of the
fable was developed at supper-time, and the hinge upon which it
was turned was, to my mind, of an ingenious contrivance^ After
having despatched part of our game, and bled our bottle to the last
stage of evacuation, we stretched our length upon the grass, and
soon fell fast asleep. " Up with you I up with you 1" was the alarum
of Signor Ambrose, as the day began to dawn. " People who have a
great enterprise on hand ought not to indulge themselves in indo-
lence." " A plague upon you, master inquisitor," said Don Raphael,
rubbing his eyes ; " you are confounded early on the move 1 It is
as good as an order for execution to Master Samuel Simon." " Many
a true word is spoken in jest," replied Lamela. " Nay, you shall
know more," added he, with a sarcastic grin. "I dreamt last
night that I was plucking the hairs out of his beard." "Was not
that a left-handed dream for him, master secretary ?" These pleas-
ant hits were followed by a thousand others, which called forth new
bursts of merriment. Our breakfast passed off with the utmost
gayety ; and when it was over, we made our arrangements for the
pageant we had got up. Ambrose arrayed himself in sables, as be-
fitted so ghostly an instrument for the suppression of vice. We also
took to our official habits ; nor has the dignity of magistracy been
often more gravely represented than by Don Raphael and myself.
The making up of our persons was rather a tedious operation ; for it.
was later than two o'clock in the afternoon when we sallied from the
wood to attend our c^U at Xelva. It is true, there was no hurry,
since the play was not to begin till the setting in of the evening.
That being the case, we jogged on leisurely, and stopped at the gates
of the town till the day was closed.
At that eventful hour, we left our horses where they were, to
the care of Don Alphonso, who was very well satisfied to have
so humble a cast allotted to him in the distribution. As for Don
Raphael, Ambrose and myself, our first visit was not to Samuel
Simon in person, but to a tavern-keeper who lived very near
him. His reverence the inquisitor walked foremost. In went
832 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
he to the bar, and said gravely to the landlord, " Master, I want
to speak a word with you in private." The obsequious publican
showed us into a room, where Lamela, now that we had got him to
ourselves, said, " I have the honor to be an unworthy member of
the holy office, and am come here on a business of very great im-
portance." At this intimation, the man of liquor turned pale, and
answered in a tremulous tone that he was not conscious of having
given any umbrage to the holy Inquisition. " True," replied Am-
brose, with encouraging affabUity ; " neither do we meditate any
harm against you. Heaven forbid that that august tribunal, too
hasty in°its punishments, should make no distinction between guilt
and innocence. It is unrelenting, but always just, to become ob-
noxious to its vengeance, you must have earned its displeasure by
wickedness or contumacy. Be satisfied, therefore, that it is not you
who bring me to Xelva, but a certain dealer and chapman, by name
Samuel Simon. A very ugly story about him has come round to us.
He is still a Jew in his heart, they say, and has only embraced
Christianity frpm sordid and secular motives. I command you, in
the name of the tremendous court I represent, to tell me all you
know about that man. Beware how you are induced bv good neigh-
borhood, or possibly by close friendship, to gloss over and palliate
his errors ; for I warn you authoritatively, if I detect the slightest
prevarication in your evidence, you are yourself even as one of the
abandoned and accursed. Where ia my secretary?" pursued he,
turning towards Don Raphael. " Sit down and do your duty."
Mr. Secretary, with his paper already in his hand and his pen
behind his ear, took his seat most pompously, and made ready to
take down the landlord's deposition ; who promised solemnly on his
part not to suppress one tittle of the real fact. " So far, so good !"
said the worshipful commissioner ; " we have only to proceed in our
examination. You will only just answer my questions; but do not
interlard your replies with any comments of your own. Do you
often see Samuel Simon at church?" "I never thought of looking
for him," said the drawer of corks ; "hut I do not know that I ever
saw him there in my life." " Very good !" cried the inquisitor
" Write down that the defendant never goes to church." " I do not
say so, your worship," answered the landlord, " I only say that I
never happened to see him there. We may have been at church
together, and yet not have come across each other." "My good
friend," replied Lamela, " you forget that you are deposing to facts,
and not arguing. Remember what I told you ; contempt of court is
a heinous offence. You are to give a sound and discreet evidence ;
every iota of what makes against him, and not a word in his favor,
if you knew volumes." " If that is your practice, O upright and
ADVENTUKES OF GIL BIAS. 338
impartial judge," resumed our host, " my testimony will scarcely be
worth the trouble of taking. I know' nothing about the tradesman
you are inquiring after, and therefore can tell neither good nor harm
of him ; but if you wish to examine into the history of his private
life, I will run and call Gaspard, his apprentice, whom you may
question as much as you please. The lad comes and takes his glass
here sometimes with his friends. Bless us, what a tongue! He
will rip up all the minutest actions of his master's life, and find
employment for your secretary till his wrist aches, take my word
for it."
" I like your open dealing," said Ambrose, with a nod of approba-
tion. "To point out a man so capable of speaking to the bad
morals of Simon, is an instance of Christian charity as well as of
religious zeal. I shall report you very favorably to the Inquisition.
Make haste, therefore, go and fetch this Gaspard of whom you
speak ; but do the thing cautiously, so that his master may have no
suspicion of what is going forward." The multiplier of scores
acquitted himself of his commission with due diligence and laudable
privacy. Our little shopman came along with him. The youth had
a tongue with a tang, and was just the sort of fellow that we wanted.
" Welcome, my good young man !" said Laraela. " You behold in
me an inquisitor, appointed by that venerable body to collect infor-
mations* against Samuel Simon, on an accusation of still adhering to
Judaism in his secret devotions. You are an inmate of his family ;
consequently you must be an eye-witness to many of his most pri-
vate transactions. It probably may be unnecessary to warn you
that you are obliged in conscience, and by fear of punishment, to
declare all you know about him, notwithstanding any promise to
the contrary, when I order you so to do on the part of the holy
Inquisition." " May it please your reverence," answered the plod-
ding little rascal, "I am quite ready to satisfy your heart's desire on
that head, without being commanded thereto in the name of the
holy office. If ever my acquittal was to depend on my master's
character of me, I am persuaded that my chance would be a sorry
one, and for that reason I shall serve him as he would serve me.
And I may tell you, in the first place, that he is a fly-by-night whose
proceedings it is no easy matter to take measure of — a man who
puts on all the starch formalities of an inveterate religionist, but
at bottom has not a spark of principle in his composition. He
goes every evening dangling after a little girl no better than she
should be." ... "I am vastly glad indeed to find that," inter-
rupted Ambrose, "because I plainly perceive, by all you have been
telling me, that he is a man of corrupt morals and licentious prac-
tices. But answer point by point the questions I shall put to you.
334 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
It is above all on the subject of religion that I am commissioned to
inquire into his sentiments and conduct. Pray tell me, do you eat
much pork at your house ?" " I do not think," answered Gaspard,
" that we have seen it at table twice in the year that I have lived
with him." " Better and better !" replied the paragon of inquisi-
tors ; " write down in legible characters that they never eat pork in
Samuel Simon's family. But as a set-off against that, doubtless a
joint of lamb is served up every now and then ?" " Yes, every now
and then," rejoined the apprentice ; " we killed one for our own con-
sumption about last Easter." " The season is pat and to the pur-
pose," cried the ecclesiastical commissioner. "Come, write down
that Simon keeps the passover. This goes on merrily to a complete
conviction ; and it seems we have got a good serviceable informa-
tion here.
"Tell me again, my friend," pursued Lamela, "whether you have
not often seen your master fondle young children." "A thousand
times," answered Gaspard. " When he sees the little urchins play-
ing about before the shop, if they happen to be pretty, he calls them
in and makes much of them." " Write that down — be sure and
write that down," interrupted the inquisitor. "Samuel Simon is
very grievously suspected of lying in wait for Christian children,
and enticing them into his den to circumcise them. Vastly well !
vastly well, indeed. Master Simon! You will have an account to
settle with the society for the suppression of Judaism — take my
word for it. Do not take it into your savage head that such bloody
sacrifices are to be perpetrated with impunity. A pretty use you
make of baptism and shaving ! Cheer up, religious Gaspard, thou
foremost of elect apprentices I Make a full confession of all thy
master's sins ; complete thine honest testimony by telling us how
this simular of a Catholic is more than ever wedded to his Jewish
customs and ceremonies. Is it not a fact that one day in the week
he sits with his hands before him, and will not even perform the
most necessary offices for himself?" "No," answered Gaspard, "I
have not exactly observed that. What comes nearest to it is, that
on some days he shuts himself up in his closet, and stays there a
long time." " Ay, now we have it !" exclaimed the commissary.
" He keeps the Sabbath, or I am not an inquisitor. Note that par-
ticularly, officer — note that he observes the fast of the Sabbath most
superstitiously. Out upon him I What a shocking fellow ! One
question more, and his business is done. Is he not always parleying
about Jerusalem?" "Pretty often indeed," replied our informer.
" He knows the Old Testament by heart, and tells us how the temple
of Jerusalem was destroyed." " The very thing I" resumed Ambrose.
"Secretary, be sure you do not neglect that feature of the case.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 335
Write, in letters of an inch long, that Samuel Simon has contracted
with the devil for the rebuilding of the temple, and that he is plot-
ting day and night for the reestablishmeut of his nation. That is
all I want to know, and it is labor in vain to pursue the examina-
tion any further. What Gaspard, in the spirit of truth and charity,
has deposed, would be sufficient to make a bonfire of all Jewry."
When the august mouthpiece of the holy tribunal had sifted the
little scoundrelly apprentice after this manner, he told him he
might go about his business, at the same time commanding him,
under the severest penalties of the Inquisition, not to say a word to
his master about what was going forward. Gaspard promised im-
plicit obedience, and marched off. We were not long in coming
after him ; our procession from the inn was as grave and solemn as
our pilgrimage thereunto, till we knocked at Samuel Simon's door.
He opened it in person. Three figures such as ours might have
dumfounded a better man ; but his face was as long as a lawsuit,
when Lamela, our spokesman, said to him in a tone of authority,
" Master Samuel, I command you in the name of the holy Inquisi-
tion, whose delegate I have the honor to be, to give me the key of
your closet without murmur or delay. I want to see if I cannot find
wherewithal to corroborate certain hints which have been communi-
cated to us respecting you."
The son of commerce, aghast at these sounds of melancholy im-
port, reeled two steps backward, just as if some one had given him
a blow in the bread-basket. Far from smelling a rat in this pleasant
trick of ours, he fancied in good earnest that some secret enemy had
made him an object of suspicion to the holy hue-and-cry ; and it
might possibly have happened that, from being rather clumsy at
his new duties as a Christian, he might be conscious of having laid
himself open to serious animadversion. However that might be, I
never saw a man look more foolish. He did as he was ordered
without saying nay, and opened all his lock-up places with the
sheepish acquiescence of a man who stood in awe of an ecclesias-
tical rap on the knuckles. "At least," said Ambrose, as he went
in, " at least you are not a contumacious oppugner of our resistless
mandates. But withdraw into another room, and leave me to fulfill
the duties of my station without profane observers." Samuel did
not set his face against this command any more than against the
first, but kept himself quiet in his shop, while we went all three of
us into his closet, where, without loss of time, we laid an embargo
on his cash. It was no difficult matter to find it, for it lay in an
open coffer, and in much larger quantity than we could carry away.
There were a great many bags heaped up, but all in silver. Gold
would have been more to our mind ; but, as robbers must not b«
336 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
choosers any more than beggars, we were obliged to yield to the
necessity of the case. Not only did we line our pockets with ducats,
but the most unsearchable parts of our dress were made the recepta-
cles of our filchings. Yet was there no outward show of the heavy
burden under which we tottered ; thanks to the cunning contrivance
of Ambrose and Don Raphael, who proved that tjhere is nothing
like being master of one's trade.
We marched out of the closet, after having feathered our nests
pretty warmly ; and then, for a reason which the reader will have
no great difficulty in guessing, the worshipful inquisitor produced
his padlock, and fixed it on the door with his own hands, — he
affixed moreover his own seal, — and then said to Simon, " Master
Samuel, I forbid you, in the name of the holy Inquisition, to touch
either this padlock or this seal, which it is your bouuden duty to
hold sacred, since it is the authentic seal of our holy office. I shall
return hither this time to-morrow, then and here to open my com-
mission, and provisionally to take off the interdict." With this
injunction, he ordered the street door to be opened, and we made
our escape after the processional manner, out of our wits with joy.
As soon as we had marched about fifty yards, we began to mend
our pace into such a quick step, aggravated by degrees into a leap
and a bound, that we were almost like vaulters and tumblers, in
spite of the weight we carried. We were soon out of town, and
mounting our horses once more, pushed forward towards Segorba,
with many a pious ejaculation to the god Mercury, on the happy
issue of so bold an attempt.
CHAPTER II.
THE DETEEMINATION OF DON ALPHONSO AND GIL BLAS AFTER THIS
ADVENTURE.
WE travelled all night, according to our modest and unobtru-
sive custom, so that we found ourselves, at sunrise, near a
little village two leagues from Segorba. As we were all tired to
death, it was agreed, unanimously, to strike out of the highway,
and rest under the shade of some willows, which we saw at the foot
of a little hill, about ten or twelve hundred yards from the village,
where it did not seem expedient for us to halt. These willows fur-
nished us with an agreeable retreat, by the side of a little brook
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 337
which bubbled as it washed their roots. The place struck our fancy,
and we resolved to pass the day there. We unbridled our horses,
and turned them out to grass, stretching our own gentle limbs on the
soft sod. There we courted the drowsy god of innocent repose for
a while, and then rummaged to the bottom of our wallet and our
wine-skin. After an ecclesiastical breakfast, we counted up our ten
tithes of Samuel Simon's money, and it amounted to a round three
thousand ducats. So that, with such a sum and what we had before,
it might be said without boasting that we knew how to make both
ends meet.
As it was necessary to go to market, Ambrose and Don Eaphael,
throwing off their dresses now the play was over, said that they
would take that office conjointly on themselves : the adventure at
Xelva had only sharpened their wit, and they had a mind to look
about Segorba, just to make the experiment whether any opportu-
nity might offer of striking another stroke. " You have nothing to
do," added the heir of Lucinda's wit and wisdom, " but to wait for
us under these willows ; we shall not be long before we are with
you again." "Signor Don Raphael." exclaimed I with a horse-
laugh, "tell us rather to wait for you under a more substantial
tree — the gallows. If you once leave us, we are in a month's mind
that we shall not see you again till the day after the fair." " This
suspicion of our honor goes against the grain," replied Signor Am-
brose ; " but we deserve that our characters should suffer in your
esteem. It is but reason that you should distrust our purity, after
the affair at Valladolid, and should fancy that we shall make it no
more a matter of conscience to play at the devil take the hindmost
with you, than with the party that we left in the lurch in that
town. Yet you deceive yourselves egregiously. The gang upon
whom we turned the tables were people of a very bad character,
and their company began to be disreputable to us. Thus far justice
must be done to the members of our profession, that there is no
bond in all civilized life less liable to be broken by perso^ial and
private interest ; but when there are no feelings in common, our
good understanding will be the worse for wear, as it happens among
other descriptions of men. Wherefore, Signor Gil Bias, I entreat
you, and Signor Don Alphonso as well as you, to be somewhat more
liberal in your construction of us, and to set your hearts at ease re-
specting Don Raphael's and my whim about going to Segorba."
"It is the easiest thing in the world," observed Lucinda's hope-
ful brat, "to quash all subject of uneasiness on that score; they
have only to remain treasurers of the exchequer, and they will have
a sufficient pledge in their hands for our return. You see, Signor
Gil Bla«, that we are all fair and above board. You shall both
22
888 ADVENTURES OF QIL BIAS.
hold security for our reappearance, and you may rest assured that
for Ambrose and myself, we shall set off without the slightest mis-
giving of your taking to your heels with so valuable a deposit.
After so substantial a proof of our good faith, will you not place
implicit confidence in us?" "Yes, gentlemen," said I, "and you
may do at once whatever seems good in your own eyes." They
took their departure immediately, carrying the bottle and the
wallet along with them, and left me under the willows with Don
Alphonso, who said to me, after they were out of sight, " Now is
the time, Signor Gil Bias, to open my heart to you. I am angry
with myself for having been so easily prevailed on to herd thus far
with these two knaves. You have no idea how many times I have
quarrelled with myself on that score. Yesterday evening, while I
was watching the horses, a thousand mortifying reflections rushed
upon my mind. I thought it did not become a young man of
honorable principles to live among such scurvy fellows as Don
Raphael and Lamela ; that if by ill luck, some day or other, — and
many a more unlikely thing has happened, — the success of our.
swindling tricks should throw us into the hands of justice, I might
sustain the shame of being tried with them as a reputed thief, and
undergoing the disgraceful sentence of the law. These frightful
thoughts present themselves incessantly to my imagination, and I will
own to you that I have determined, as the only means of escape from
the contamination of their bad actions, to part from them forever. I
can scarcely suppose that you will disapprove of my design." "No,
I promise you," answered I ; " though you have seen me perform the
part of the alguazil in Samuel Simon's comedy, do not fancy that
such pieces as those are got up to my taste. I take heaven to
witness that while acting in so witty a scene, I said to myself,
' Faith and troth, Master Gil Bias, if justice should come and lay
hold of you by the weasand at this moment, you would well deserve
the penitential wages of your iniquity.' I feel therefore no more
disposed than yourself, Don Alphonso, to tarry longer in such bad
company ; and if you think well of it, I will bear you company.
When these gentlemen come back, we will demand a balancing of
the accounts, and to-morrow morning, or even to-night before
to-morrow, we will make our bow to them."
The lovely Seraphina's lover approved my proposal. " Let us
get to Valencia," said he, " and we will embark for Italy, where we
shall be able to enter into the service oF the Venetian republic.
Will it not be far better to take up the profession of arms, than to
lead such a da.stardiy and disreputable life as we are now engaged
in ? We shall even be in a condition to make a very handsome figure
with the money that will be coming to us. Not that I appropriate to
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 339
myself without remorse a fund so unfairly established ; but besides
that necessity obliges me to it, if ever I acquire any property in my
campaigns, I make a vow to indemnify Samuel Simon." I gave
Don Alphonso to understand that my sentiments coincided with
his own, and we resolved at once to separate ourselves from our
companions on the following morning before daybreak. We were
above the temptation of profiting by their absence, that is, of
marching off in a hurry with the sum total of the finances; the con-
fidence they had reposed in leaving us masters of the whole revenue
did not permit such a thought so much as to pass through our
mindg.
Ambrose and Don Raphael returned from Segorba just at the
close of day. The first thing they told us was, that their journey
had been propitious, for they had laid the corner-stone of a rascality
which, to all appearance, would turn out still better than that of
the evening before. And thereupon the son of Lucinda was going
to put us in possession of the details ; but Don Alphonso cut him
short in his explanation, and declared at once his intention of part-
ing company. I announced my own wish to do the same. To no
purpose did they empfoy all their rhetoric to prove to us the pro-
priety of our accompanying them in their professional travels; we.
took leave of them the next morning, after having made an equal '
division of our cash, and pushed on towards Valencia.
CHAPTER III.
AN UNFORTUNATE OCCURBENCE, WHICH TERMINATED TO THE HIGH
DELIGHT OF DON ALPHONSO.
WE galloped on gayly as far as Bunol, where, as ill luck would
have it, we were obliged to stop. Don Alphonso was taken
ill. His disorder was a high fever, with such an excess of alarming
symptoms as put me in fear for his life. By the greatest mercy in
the world, the place was not beset by a single physician, and I got
clear off without any harm but my fright. He was quite out of
danger at the end of three days, and with my nursing, his recovery
was rapid and without relapse. He seemed to be very grateful for
my attentions, and as we really and truly felt a liking for each
other, we swore an eternal friendship.
At length we got on our journey again, in the constant determi-
840 ALVEIf TUBES OF GIL BLAS.
nation, when we arrived at Valencia, of profiting by the first oppor-
tunity which might ofler to go over into Italy. But Heaven dis-
posed of us diflerently. We saw at the gate of a fine castle some
country people of both sexes making merry and dancing in a ring.
We went near to be spectators of their revels ; and Don Alphonso
was never less prepared than for the surprise which all at once came
over his senses. He found it was Baron Steinbach, who was as
little backward in recognizing him, but ran up to him with open
arms, and exclaimed, in accents of unbridled joy, " Ah, Don
Alphonso I is it you ? What a delightful meeting 1 While search
was being made for you in every direction, chance presents you to
my view."
My fellow-traveller disn)ounted immediately, and ran to embrace
the baron, whose joy seemed to be of an extravagant nature.
"Gome, my long-lost son," said the good old man ; "you shall now
be informed of your own birth, and know the happy destiny that
awaits you." As he uttered these words, he conducted him into the
castle. I went in along with them, for while they were exchanging
salutations, I had alighted and tied our horses to a tree. The lord
of the castle was the first person whom we met. He was about the
age of fifty, and a very well-looking man. " Sir," said Baron Stein-
bach, as he introduced Don Alphonso, " behold your son." At these
words, Don Caesar de Ley va — for by that title the lord of the castle
was called — threw his arms round Don Alphonso's neck, and weep-
ing with joy, muttered indistinctly, " My dear son, know in me the
author of your being. If I have for so long left you in ignorance of
your birth and family, rest assured that the self-denial was mine in
the most painful degree. I have a thousand times been ready to
burst with anxiety, but it was impossible to act otherwise. I had
married your mother from sheer attachment, for her origin was very
inferior to mine. I lived under the control of an austere father,
whose severity rendered it necessary to keep secret a marriage con-
tracted without his sanction. Baron Steinbach, and he alone, was
in my confidence ; he brought you up at my request, and under my
directions. At length my father is laid with his ancestors, and I
can own you for my son and heir. This is not all ; I can give you
for a bride a young lady whose rank is on a level with my own."
" Sir," interrupted Don Alphonso, " make me not pay too dear for
the happinesj* you have just been throwing in my lap. May I not
be told that I have the honor of being your son without being in-
formed at the same time that you are determined to make me mise-
rable? Ah, sir, be not more cruel than your own father. If he did
not consent to the indulgence of your passion, at least he never
compelled you to take another wife." "My son," replied Don
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 341
Caesar, " I have no wish to exercise a tyranny over your inclinations
which I spurned at in my own case. But have the good manners
just to see the lady I design for you ; that is all I require from your
filial duty. Though a lovely creature, and a very advantageous
match, I promise never to force you into marriage. She is now in
this castle. Follow me; you will be obliged to acknowledge that
you have rarely seen a more attractive object." So saying, he led
Don Alphonso into a room where I made made myself one of the
party with Baron Steinbach.
There was the Count de Polan, with his two daughters, Seraphina
and Julia, and Don Ferdinand de Leyva, his son-in-law, who was
Don Caesar's nephew. Don Ferdinand, as was mentioned before,
had eloped with Julia, and it was on the occasion of the marriage
between these two lovers that the peasantry of the neighborhood
were collected on this day to congratulate the bride and bride-
groom. As soon as Don Alphonso made his appearance, and his
father had introduced him to the company, the Count de Polan rose
from his chair and ran to embrace him, saying, " Welcome, my de-
liverer ! Don Alphonso," added he, addressing his discourse to
him, " observe the power of virtue over generous minds. Though
you have killed my son, you saved my life. I lay aside my resent-
ment forever, and give you that very Seraphina whose honor you
protected from invasion. In so doing, my debt to you is paid."
Don Caesar's son was not wanting in acknowledgments to the Count
de Polan, nor could he be otherwise than deeply affected by his
goodness; and it may be doubted whether the discovery of his
birth and parentage touched his felicity more nearly than the intel-
ligence that he was the destined husband of Seraphina. This mar-
riage was actually solemnized some days afterwards, to the entire
satisfaction of all concerned.
As I was one of the Count de Polan's deliverers, this nobleman,
who knew me again immediately, said that he would take upon
himself the care of making my fortune. I thanked him for his libe-
rality, but would not leave Don Alphonso, who made me steward of
his household, and honored me with his confidence. A few days
after his marriage, still harping upon the trick which had been
played to Samuel Simon, he sent me to return to that cozened shop-
keeper all the money which had been filched from him. I went,
therefore, to make restitution. This was setting up the trade of a
steward, but beginning at the wrong end : they ought all of them
to end with restitution ; but nine hundred and ninety-nine out ef
a thousand think it double trouble, and excuse themselves.
342 ADVENTURES OF GIL SLAS.
BOOK VII.
CHAPTEE I.
THE TENDER ATTACHMENT BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND DAME LORENZA
SEPHORA.
WITH three thousand ducats under my charge, as an equiva-
lent to Samuel Simon for the amount of his loss, away went
I to Xelva. I will have the honesty to own that my fingers itched,
as I jogged along, to transfer these funds to my own account, and
begin my stewardship in character, since everything in this life
depends upon setting out well. There was no risk in preferring
instinct to principle, because it was only to ride about the country
for five or six days, and come home upon a brisk trot, as if I had
done my business and made the best of my way. Don Alphonso
and his father would never have believed me capable of a breach of
trust. Yet, strange to tell, I was proof against so tempting a sug-
gestion ; it would scarcely be too much to say, that honor, not the
fear of being found out, was the spring of so praiseworthy a deci-
sion •? and as times go, that is saying a great deal for a lad whose
conscience had been pretty well seasoned by keeping company with
a long succession of scoundrels. Many people who have not that
excuse, but frequent worshipful society, will wonder how such
squeamishness should have prevailed over my good sense : treas-
urers of charities in particular ; persons who have the wills of rela-
tions in their custody, and do not exactly like the contents; in
short, all those whose characters stand higher than their principles,
will find food for reflection in my overstrained scrupulosity.
After having made restitution to the merchant, who little thought
ever to have seen one farthing of his property again, I returned to
the castle of Leyva. The Count de Polan had taken his departure,
and was far on his journey to Toledo with Julia and Don Ferdi-
nand. I found my new master more wrapped up than ever in Sera-
phina ; his Seraphina equally wrapped up in my master, and Don
Caesar just as much wrapped up as either in the contemplation of
the happy couple. My object was to gain the good will of this
affectionate father, and I succeeded to my wish. The whole house
was placed implicitly under my superintendence — nothing was done
without my special direction ; the tenants paid their rents into my
hands ; the disbursements of the family were all under my revision ;
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 343
and the subordinate situations in the household were at my disposal
without appeal ; and yet the power of tyrannizing did not give me
the inclination, as it has always hitherto done to my equals and
superiors. I neither turned away the male servants because I did
not like the cut of their beards, nor the female ones because they
happened not to like the cut of mine. If they made up to Don
Caesar or his sou at once, without currying my favor as the channel
of all good graces, far from taking umbrage at them on that account,
I spoke out officiously in their behalf. In other respects, too, the
marks of confidence my two masters were incessantly lavishing on
me inspired me with a substantial zeal for their service. Their
interest was my real object ; there was no sleight of hand in my
ministry ; I was such a caterer for the general good as you rarely
meet with in private families or in political societies.
While I was hugging myself on the well-earned prosperity of my
condition, love, jealous of my dealings with fortune, was bent on
sharing my gratitude by the addition of a higher zest. He planted,
watered, and ripened in the heart of Dame Lorenza Sephora, Sera-
phina's confidential woman, an abundant crop of liking for the
happy steward. My Helen, not to sink the fidelity of the historian
in the vanity of the man, could not be many months short of her
fiftieth year. But for all that, a look of wholesomeness, a face none
of the ugliest, and two good-looking eyes, of which she knew the
efficient use, might make her still pass for a decent bit of amuse-
ment in a summer evening. I could only just have been thankful
for a little more relief to her complexion, since it was precisely the
color of chalk ; but that I attributed to maiden concealments, which
had eaten away all the damask of her cheek.
The lady ogled me for a long time with eyes that savored more of
passion than of chastity ; but instead of communing in the language
of the eyes, I made pretence at first not to be sensible of my own
happiness. Thus did my gallantry appear as if arrayed in its first
blushes ; a circumstance which was rather tempting than repulsive
to her feelings. • Taking it into her head, therefore, that there was
no standing upon dumb eloquence with a young man who looked
more like a novice than he was, at our very first interview she
declared her sentiments in broad, unequivocal terms, that I might
have no plea for misinterpretation. She played her part like an
old stager ; affected to be overwhelmed with confusion while she
was speaking to me ; and after having said all she wanted to say
in a good audible voice, put her hand before her face, to hide the
shame which was not there, and make me believe that she was in-
commoded by the delicacy of her own feelings. There was no
etanding such an attack ; and though vanity had a larger share in
344 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
ray surrender than tjie tender passion, I did not receive her over-
tures ungraciously. Nay, more, I presumed to overlook decorum
in my vivacity, and acted the impatient lover so naturally as to call
down a modest rebuke upon my freedoms. Lorenza chid my fond-
ness, but with so much fondness in her chidings, that while she
prescribed to me the coldness of an anchoret, it was very evident
she would have been miserably disappointed if I had taken her pre-
scription. I should have pressed the affair at once to the natural
termination of all such affairs, if the lovely object of my ardent
wishes had not been afraid of giving me a left-handed opinion of
her virtue, by abandoning the works before the siege was regularly
formed. This being so, we parted, but with a promise to meet
again ; Sephora in the full persuasion that her reluctant resistance
would stamp her for a vestal in my esteem, and myself full of the
sweet hope that the torments of Tantalus would soon be succeeded
by an elysium of enjoyment.
My affairs were in this happy train, when one of Don Csesar's
under-servants brought me such a piece of news as gave an ague
to my raptures. This lad was one of those inquisitive inmates who
apply either an ear or an eye to every keyhole in a house. As he
paid his court constantly to me, and served up some fresh piece of
scandal every day, he came to tell me one morning that he had
made a pleasant discovery, and that he had no objection to letting
me into the fun, on condition that I would not blab ; because Dame
Lorenza Sephora was the theme of the joke, and he was afraid of
becoming obnoxious to her resentment and revenge. I was too
much interested in coming at the story he had to tell, not to swear
myself into discretion through thick and thin ; but it was necessary
that my motive should seem curiosity, and not personal concern, so
that I asked him, with an air of as much indifference as I could put
on, what was this mighty discovery about which he made such a
piece of work. "Lorenza," whispered he, "smuggles the surgeon
of the village every evening into her apartment: he is a tight ves-
sel, well armed and manned ; and the pirate generally stays pretty
long upon his cruise. I do not mean to say," added he, with super-
cilious candor, " but all this may be perfectly innocent on both sides ;
but you cannot help admitting that where a young man does in-
sinuate himself slyly into a. girl's bed-chamber, he takes better care
of his own pleasure than of her reputation."
Though this tale gave me as much uneasiness as if I had been
verily and romantically in love, I had too much sense to let him
know it ; but so far stifled my feelings as to laugh heartily at a story
which struck at the very life of all my hopes. But when no wit-
nesses were by, I made myself full amends for having gulped down
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 345
my rising indignation. I blustered and stormed, muttered blessings
on them the wrong way, and swore outright ; but all this without
coming nearer to a decision on my own conduct. At one time, holding
Lorenza in utter contempt, it was my good pleasure to give her up,
altogether, without condescending so far as to come to any explana-.
tion with the coquette. At another time, laying it down as a prin^.
ciple that my honor was concerned in making the surgeon an exr
ample to all intriguers, I spirited up my courage to call him out.
Thus dangerous valor prevailed over safe indifference. At the
approach of evening I placed myself in ambuscade ; and sure
enough, the gentleman did slink into the temple of my Vesta, with
a fear of being found out that spoke rather unfavorably for the
purity of his designs. Nothing short of this could have kept ray
rage alive against the chilliness of the night air. I immediately
quitted the precincts of the castle, and posted myself on the high
road, where the gay deceiver was sure to be intercepted on his re-
turn. I waited for him with my fighting spirits on the full boil ;
my impatience increased with the lapse of time, till Mars and Bel-
lona seemed to inhabit my frame, and enlarge it beyond human
dimensions. At length my antagonist came in sight. I took a few
strides, such as bully Mars or Bellona might have taken ; but I do
not know how the devil it came to pass, my courage went farther off
as my body came nearer ; my frame was contracted within some-
what less than its human dimensions, and my heart felt exactly like
the heart of a coward. The hearts of Homer's heroes felt exactly
the same, when the dastardly dogs were not backed by a supernatural
Drawcansirl In short, I was just as much out of my element as
ever Paris was when he pitted himself against Menelaus in single
combat. I began taking measure of this operator in love, war and
anatomy. He appeared to be large limbed and well knit, with a
sword by his side of a most abominable length. All this made me
consider that the better part of valor is discretion : nevertheless,
whether from the superiority of mind over the nervous system in a
case of honor, or from whatever other cause, though the danger
grew bigger as the distance diminished, and in spite of nature,
which pleaded obstinately that honor is a mere scutcheon, and can
neither set a leg nor take away the grief of a wound, I mustered
up boldness enough to march forward towards the surgeon sword in
hand.
My proceeding seemed to him to be of the drollest. " What is
the matter, Signor Gil Bias ?" exclaimed he. " Why all this fire
and fury? You are in a bantering mood, to all appearance."
"No, good master shaver," answered I, "no such thing; there
never was anything more serious since Cain killed Abel. I am
346 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
determined to try the experiment whether as little preparation
serves your turn in the field of battle as in a lady's chamber. Hope
not that you will be suffered to possess without a rival -that heaven
of bliss in wliich you have been indulging but this moment at the
castle." "By all the martyrdoms we phlebotomizers have ever
suffered or inflicted," replied the surgeon, setting up a shout of
laughter, " this is a most whimsical adventure. As heaven is my
judge, appearances are very little to be trusted." At this put-off,
fancying that he had no keener stomach for cold iron than myself,
I got to be ten times more overbearing. " Teach your parrot to
speak better Spanish, my friend," interrupted I ; "do you think we
do not know a hawk from a hernshaw? Imagine not that the
simple denial of the fact will settle the business." " I see plainly,"
replied he, " that I shall be obliged to speak out, or some mischief
must happen either to you or me. I shall therefore disclose a
secret to you, though men in our profession cannot be too much on
the reserve. If Dame Lorenza sends for me into her apartment
under suspicious circumstances, it is only to conceal from the ser-
vants the knowledge of her malady. She has an incurable ulcer in
her back, which I come every evening to dress. This is the real
occasion of those visits. which disturb your peace. Henceforward,
rest assured that you have her all to yourself. But if you are not
satisfied with this explanation, and are absolutely bent on a fencing
match, you have only to say so ; I am not a man to turn my back
upon a game at sword-play." With these words in his mouth, he
drew his long rapier, which made my heart jump into my throat,
and stood upon his guard. "It is enough," said I, putting my
sword up again in its scabbard ; " I am not a wild beast, to turn a
deaf ear to reason : after what you have told me, there is no cause
of enmity between us. Let us shake hands." At this proposal, by
which he found out that I was not such a devil of a fellow as he
had taken me for, he returned his weapon with a laugh, met my
advances to be reconciled, and we parted the best friends in the
world.
From that time forward Sephora never came into my thoughts
but with the most disgusting associations. I shunned all the
opportunities she gave me of entertaining her in private, and this
with so obvious a study, almost bordering on rudeness, that she
could not but notice it. Astonished at so sudden a reverse, she
was dying to know the cause, and at length, finding the means of
'pinning me down to a tete-d-iete, " Good Mr. Steward," said she,
"tell me, if so please you, why you avoid the very sight of me?
It is true that I made the first advances ; but then you fed the con-
suming fire. Recall to memory, if it is not too great a favor, the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 347
private interview we had together. Then you were a magazine of
combustibles, now you are as frozen as the north sea. What is the
meaning of all this?" The question was not a little difficult of
solution, for a man unaccustomed to the violence of amorous inter-
rogatories. The consequence was, that it puzzled me most con-
foundedly. I do not precisely recollect the identical lie I told the
lady, but I recollect perfectly that nothing but the truth could have
affronted her more highly. Sephora, though by her mincing air
and modest outside one might have taken her for a lamb, was a
tigress when the savage was roused in her nature. " I did think,"
said she, darting a glance at me full of malice and hideousness, " I
did think to have conferred such honor as was never conferred
before, on a little scoundrel like you, by betraying sentiments which
the first nobility in the country would make it their boast to excite.
Fitly indeed am I punished for having preposterously lowered
myself to the level of a dirty, snivelling adventurer."
That was pretty well ; but she did not stop there : I should have
come off too cheaply on such terms. Her fury taking a long lease
of her tongue, that brawling instrument of discord rung a bob-major
of invective, each strain more clamorous and confounding than the
former. It certainly was my duty to have received it all with cool
indifference, and to have considered candidly that in triumphing
over female reserve, and then not taking possession of the conquest,
I had committed that sin against the sex which would have trans-
formed the most feminine of them into a Sephora. But I was too
irritable to bear abuse, at which a man of sense in my place would
only have laughed ; and my patience was at length exhausted.
"Madam," said I, " let us not rake into each other's personal mis-
fortunes. If the first nobility in the country had only looked at
your back, they would have forgotten all your other charms, and
would have boasted but little of the sentiments they had excited
you to betray." I had no sooner laid in this home stroke, than the
enraged duenna visited me with the hardest box on the ear that
ever yet proceeded from the delicate fingers of a woman scorned.
Such favors might pall on repetition ; so I did not wait for a second,
but took shelter in the nimbleness of my legs from the clatter of
castigation she was going to shower down on me.
I returned thanks to the protecting powers for having brought
me clear off from this unequal encounter, and fancied that I had
nothing further to apprehend, since the lady had taken corporal
vengeance. It was likely, too, that she would be wise and hold her
tongue, for the honor of her own back ; and, in point of fact, a full
fortnight had elapsed without my hearing a word upon the subject.
The very tingling in my own cheek began to abate, when I was
848 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
told that Sephora was taken ill. With that forgiveness of injuries
so natural to me, I was sincerely afflicted at the news. I really felt
for the poor lady. I concluded that, unable to contend with a
passion so ill repaid, that hapless victim of her own tenderness was
giving up the ghost. It was with exquisite pain that I turned this
subject in my thoughts. I was the cruel cause that her heart was
breaking; and my pity, at least, was the duenna's, though love is
too wayward to be controlled by advice. But I was miserably mis-
taken in her nature. Her tenderness had all curdled into acri-
monious hatred ; and at that very moment was she plotting to be
my bane.
One morning, while I was with Don Alphonso, that amiable
young master of mine seemed absent, moody, and out of spirits. I
inquired respectfully what was the matter. " I am vexed to the
soul," said he, " to find Seraphina weak, unjust, ungrateful. You
are not a little surprised at this," added he, remarking the expres-
sion of astonishment with which I heard him; "yet nothing is
more strictly and lamentably true. I know not what reason you
have given Dame Lorenza to be at variance with you ; but true it
is, you are become so unbearably hateful to her, that if you do not
get out of this castle as soon as possible, her death, she says, must
be the sure consequence. You cannot but suppose that Seraphina,
who knows your value, used all her influence at first against a pre-
judice to which she could not administer without injustice and in-
gratitude. But though the best of women, she is still a woman.
Sephora brought her up, and she loves her like a mother. Should
her old nurse die shortly, she would fancy she had her death to
answer for, had she refused herself to any of her whims. For my
own part, with all my affection towards Seraphina, — and it is none
of the weake<«t, — I will never be guilty of so mean a compliance as
to side with her on this question. Perish our duennas ! perish the
whole system of our Spanish vigilance ! but never let me consent to
the banishment of a young man whom I look upon rather as a
brother than a servant !"
When Don Alphonso had thus expressed his sentiments, I said to
him, "My good sir, I am born to be the mere whipping-top of For-
tune. It had been my hope that she would leave off persecuting me
when under your roof, where everything held out to me happy days
and an unruffled life. Now, the part for honor to take is to tear
myself away, whatever hankering I may feel after my continuance."
" No, no," exclaimed the generous son of Don Caesar. " Leave me
to bring Seraphina to a proper vieW of things. It shall never be
said that you are sacrificed to the caprices of a duenna, who, on
every occasion, has but too much influence over the family." " All
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS, 349
you will get by it, sir," replied I, " will only be to put Seraphina in
an ill humor by opposing her wishes. I had much rather withdraw
than run the risk, by a longer abode here, of sowing division between
a married pair, who are a model of conjugal felicity. Such a con-
sequence of my unhappy quarrel would make me miserable for the
remainder of my days."
Don Alphonso absolutely forbade me to take any hasty step ; and
I found him so determined in the intention of standing by me, that
Lorenza must infallibly have been thrown into the background if I
had chosen to have stood an election against her. There were mo-
ments when, exasperated against the duenna, I was tempted to keep
no measures with her ; but when I came to consider that to unravel
this surgical mystery would be to plunge a dagger into the heartjof
a poor creature, whose curse had been my fastidious prejudice
against an ulcerated back, and whom a physical and mental misfor-
tune were conjointly handing down to the grave, I lost all feeling
but that of compassion towards her. It was evident, since I was so
portentous a phenomenon, that it was ray imperious duty to reestab-
lish the tranquillity of the castle by my absence; and that duty I
performed the next morning before daybreak, without taking any
leave of my two masters, for fear they should oppose my departure
from a misplaced partiality towards me. My only notice was to
leave behind in my chamber a memorial containing an exact ac-
count of my receipts and disbursements during the time of my
Btewardship.
CHAPTER II.
WHAT HAPPENKD TO GIL BLAS AFTER HIS RETREAT FROM THE CASTLE
OF LEYVA.
I WAS mounted on a good horse, my own property, and was the
bearer of two hundred pistoles, the greater part of which arose
from the plunder of the vanquished banditti, and the forfeiture of
Samuel Simon by the Inquisition ; for Don Alphonso, without re-
quiring me to account for any part of the said forfeiture, had made
restitution of the entire sum out of his own funds. Thus, consider-
ing my effects, however obtained, as converted into lawful property
by a sort of vicarious sponsorship, I took them into my good graces
without any remorse of conscience. An estate like this rendered
it absurd to throw away any thought about the future ; and a cer-
860 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
tain likelihood of doing well, which always hangs about a young
niiui at my age, held out an additional security against the caprices
of fortune. Besides, Toledo offered me a retreat exactly to my mind.
Tiiere could not be a doubt but the Count de Polan would take a
pleasure in giving a kind reception to one of his deliverers, and
would insist on his accepting an apartment in his own house. But
I only looked upon this nobleman as a very distant resource ; and
determined, before laying any tax on his grateful recollection, to
spend part of my ready cash in travelling over the provinces of
Murcia and Granada, which I had a very particular inclination to
see. With this intention I took the Almanza road, and afterwards,
following the route chalked out, travelled from town to town as far
as. the city of Granada, without stumbling on any sinister occur-
rence. It should seem as if Fortune, wearied out with the school-
girl's tricks she had been playing me, was contented at last to leave
me as she found me. But she still had her skittish designs upon me,
as will be seen in the sequel.
One of the first persons I met in the streets of Granada was Signer
Don Ferdinand de Leyva, son-in-law, as well as Don Alphonso, of
the Count de Polan. We were both of us equally surprised at meet-
ing so far from home. "How is this, Gil Bias?" exclaimed he —
"to find you in this city! What the devil brings you hither?"
"Sir," said I, "if you are astonished at seeing me in this country,
you will be ten times more so when you shall know why I have
quitted the service of Signor Don Caesar and his son," Then I re-
counted to him all that had passed between Sephora and myself,
without garbling the facts in any particular. He laughed heartily
at the recital ; then, recovering his gravity, " My friend," said he,
" my mediation is at your service in this affair. I will write to my
sister-in-law." ..." No, no, sir," interrupted I, " do not write upon
the subject, I beseech you. I did not quit the castle of Leyva to go
back again. You may, if you please, make another use of the kind-
ness you have expressed for me. If any of your friends should be
looking out for a secretary or a steward, I should be much obliged
to you to speak a good word in my favor. I will take upon me to
assure you that you will never be reproached with recommending
an improper object." " You have only to command me," answered
he ; "I will do whatever you desire. My business at Granada is to
visit an old aunt in an ill state of health. I shall be here three
weeks longer, after which I shall set out on my return to my castle
of Lorqui, where I liave left Julia. That is my lodging," added he,
showing me a house about a hundred yards from us. " Call upon
me in a few days ; probably I may by that time have hit upon some
eligible appointment."
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 351
And, in fact, so it was ; for the very first time that we came
together again, he said to me, " My Lord Archbishop of Granada,
my relation and friend, is in want of a young man with some little
tinge of literature, who can write a good hand and make fair copies
of his manuscripts, for he is a great author. He has composed I
know not how many homilies, and still goes on composing more
every day, which he delivers to the high edification of his audience.
As you seem to be just the thing for him, I have mentioned your
name, and he has promised to take you. Go, and make your bow
to him as from me ; you will judge, by his reception of you, whether
my recommendation has been couched in handsome terms."
The situation was, to all appearance, exactly what I should have
picked out for myself. That being the case, with such an arrange-
ment of my air and person as seemed most likely to square with the
ideas of a reverend prelate, I presented myself one morning before
the archbishop. If this were a gorgeous romance, and not a grave
history, here might we introduce a pompous description of the epis-
copal palace, with architectural digressions on the structure of the
building ; here would be the place to expatiate on the costliness of
the furniture like an upholsterer, to criticise the statues and pictures
like a connoisseur ; and the pictures themselves would be nothing
to the uninformed reader without the stories they represent, till uni-
versal history, fabulous and authentic, sacred and profane, should
be pressed into the service. But I shall content myself with mod-
estly stating that the royal palace itself is scarcely superior in
magnificence.
Throughout the suite of apartments, there was a complete mob of
ecclesiastics and other oflBcers, consisting of chaplains, ushers, upper
and menial servants. Those of them who were laymen were most
superbly attired ; one would sooner have taken them for temporal
nobility than for spiritual under-strappers. They were as proud as
the devil, and gave themselves intolerably consequential airs. I
could not help laughing in my sleeve, when I considered who and
what they were, and how they behaved. " Set a beggar on horse-
back !" said I, " These gentry are in luck to carry a pack without
feeling the drag of it, for surely if they knew they were beasts of
burden, they would not jingle their bells with so high a toss of the
head." I ventured just to speak to a grave and portly personage
who stood sentinel at the door of the archbishop's closet, to turn it
upon its hinges as occasion might require. I asked him civilly if
there was no possibility of speaking with my lord archbishop.
"Stop a little," said he, with a supercilious demeanor and repulsive
tone ; " his grace will shortly come forth, to go and hear mass ; you
may snatch an audience for a moment as he passes on." I answered
852 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
not a single syllable. Patience was all I had for it ; and it even
seemed advisable to try and enter into conversation with some of
the jacks in office ; but they began conning me over from the sole of
my foot to the crown of my head, without condescending to favor me
with a single interjection ; after which they winked at one another,
whispered, and looked out at the corners of their eyes, in derision
of the liberty I had assumed, by intruding upon their select society.
I felt — more fool that I did so — quite out of countenance at such
cavalier treatment from a knot of state footmen. My confusion was
but beginning to subside, when the closet door opened. The arch-
bishop made his appearance. A profound silence immediately en-
sued among his officers, who quitted at once their insolent behavior,
to adopt a more respectful style before their master. That prelate
was in his sixty-ninth year, formed nearly on the model of my
uncle, Gil Perez, the canon, which is as much as to say, as broad
as he was long. But the highest dignitaries should always be the
most amply gifted ; accordingly his legs bowed inwards to the very
extremity of the graceful curve, and his bald head retained but a
single lock behind, so that he was obliged to ensconce his pericra-
nium in a fine woollen cap with long ears. In spite of all this, I
espied the man of quality in his deportment, doubtless because I
knew that he actually happened to be one. We common fellows,
the fungous growth of the human dunghill, look up to great lords
with a facility of being overawed, which oftcH furnishes them with
a Benjamin's mess of importance when nature has denied even the
most scanty and trivial gifts.
The archbishop moved towards me in a minuet step, and kindly
inquired what I wanted. I told him I was the young man about whom
Signor Don Ferdinand de Leyva had spoken to him. He did not
give me a moment to go on with my story. " Ah ! is it you?" ex-
claimed he; " is it you of whom so fine a character has been given
me? I take you into my service at once; you are a mine of lite-
rary utility to me. You have only to take up your abode here."
Talking thus condescendingly, he supported himself between two
ushers, and moved onwards, after having given audience to some
of his clergy, who had ecclesiastical business to communicate. He
was scarcely out of the room when the same officers who had turned
upon their heel were now cap in hand to court my conversation.
Here the rascals are pressing round me, currying favor, and express-
ing their sincere joy at seeing me become as it were an heirloom of
the archbishopric. They had heard what their master had said,
and were dying with anxiety to know on what footing I was to be
about him ; but I had the ill nature not to satisfy their curiosity, in
revenge for their contempt.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 358
My lord archbishop was not long before he returned. He took me
with him into his closet for a little private conference. I could not
but suppose that he meant to fathom the depth of my understand-
ing. I was accordingly on my guard, and prepared to measure out
my words most methodically. He questioned me first in the
classics. My answers were not amiss ; he was convinced that I had
more than a schoolboy's acquaintance with the Greek and Latin
writers ; he examined me next in logic ; nor could I but suppose
that he would examine me in logic. He found me strong enough
there. " Your education," said he, with some degree of surprise,
" has not been neglected. Now let me see your handwriting." I
took a blank piece of paper out of my pocket, which I had brought
for the purpose. My ghostly father was not displeased with my
performance. " I am very well satisfied with the mechanical part
of your qualifications," exclaimed he, " and still more so with the
powers of your mind. I shall thank my nephew, Don Ferdinand,
most heartily for having sent me so fine a lad ; it is absolutely a gift
from above."
We were interrupted by some of the neighboring gentry, who
were come to dine with the archbishop. I left them together, and
withdrew to the second table, where the whole household, with one
consent, insisted on giving me the upper hand. Dinner is a busy
time at an episcopal ordinary ; and yet we snatched a moment to
make our observations on each other. What a mortified propriety
was painted on the outside of the clergy ! They had all the look of
a deputation from a better world. Strange to think how place and
circumstance impose on the deluded sense of men ! It never once
came into my thoughts that all this sanctity might possibly be a
false coin,— just as if there could be nothing but what appertained
to the kingdom above among the successors of the apostles on
earth.
I was seated by the side of an old valet-de-chambre, by name
Melchior de la Eonda. He took care to help me to all the nice
bits. His attentions were not lost upon me, and my good manners
quite enraptured him. " My worthy sir," said he, in a low voice,
" after dinner I should like to have a little- private talk with you."
At the same time he led the way to a part of the palace where we
could not be overheard, and there addressed me as follows : " My
son, from the very first instant that I saw you, I felt a certain pre-
possession in your favor. Of this I will give you a certain proof, by
communicating in confidence what will be of great service to you.
You are here in a family where true believers and painted hypocrites
are playing at cross purposes against each other. It would take an
antediluvian age to feel the ground under your feet. I will spare
23
864 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
you so long and so disgusting a study by letting you into the char-
acters on both sides. After this, if you do not play your cards, it
is your own fault.
" I shall begin with his grace. He is a very pious prelate, em-
ployed without ceasing in the instruction of the people, whom he
brings back to virtue, like sheep gone astray, by sermons full of
excellent morality, and written by himself. He has retired from
court these twenty years, to watch over his flock with the zeal of an
afl'ectionate pastor. He is a very learned person, and a very im-
pressive declaimer ; his whole delight is in preaching, and his con-
gregation take care he should know that their whole delight is in
hearing him. There may possibly be some little leaven of vanity
in all this heavenly-mindedness ; but, besides that it is not for
human fallibility to search the heart, it would ill become me to
rake into the faults of a person whose bread I eat. Were it decent
to lay my finger on anything unbecoming in my master, I should
discommend his starchness. Instead of exercising forbearance
towards frail churchmen, he visits every peccadillo as if it were a
heinous offence. Above all, he prosecutes those with the utmost
rigor of the spiritual court who, wrapping themselves up in their
innocence, appeal to the canons for their justification, in bar of his
despotic authority. There is, besides, another awkward trait in his
character, common to him, with many other people of high rank.
Though he is very fond of the people about him, he pays not the
least attention to their services, but lets them sink into years with-
out a moment's thought about securing them any provision. If at
any time he makes them any little presents, they may thank the
goodness of some one who shall have spoken up in their behalf: he
would never have his wits enough about him to do the slightest
thing for them as a volunteer."
This is just what the old valet-de-chambre told me of his master.
Next, he let me into what he thought of the clergymen with whom
we had dined. His portraits might be likenesses; but they were
,too hard-featured to be owned by the originals. It must be admitted,
however, that he did not represent them as honest men, but only as
very scandalous priests. Nevertheless, he made some exceptions,
and was as loud in their praises as in his censure of the others. I
was no longer at any loss how to play my part so as to put myself
on an equal footing with these gentry. That very evening, at sup-
per, I took a leaf out of their book, and arrayed myself in the con-
venient vesture of a wise and prudent outside. A clothing of hu-
mility and sanctification costs nothing. Indeed it offers such a
premium to the wearer, that we are not to wonder if this world
abounds in a description of people called hypocrites.
ALVENTVBES OF GIL BLAS. 355
CHAPTER III.
GIL BLAS BECOMES THE ARCHBISHOP'S FAVOKITE, AND THE CHANNEL
OF ALL HIS FAVORS.
I HAD been after dinner to get together my baggage, and take
my horse from the inn where I had put up, and afterwards re-
turned to supper at the archbishop's palace, where a neatly-furnished
room was got ready for me, and such a bed as was more likely to
pamper than to mortify the flesh. The day following, his grace
sent for me quite as soon as I was ready to go to him. It was to
give me a homily to transcribe. He made a point of having it
copied with all possible accuracy. It was done to please him ; for
I omitted neither accent, nor comma, nor the minutest tittle of all
he had marked down. His satisfaction at o"bserving this was height-
ened by its being unexpected. " Eternal Father !" exclaimed he in
a holy rapture, when he had glanced his eye over all the folios of
my copy, "was ever anything seen so correct? You are too good a
transcriber not to have some little smattering of the grammarian.
Now tell me with the freedom of a friend : in writing it over, have
you been struck with nothing that grated upon your feelings ? Some
little careless idiom, or some word used in an improper sense?"
" 0 I may it please your grace," answered I with a modest air, " it
is not for me, with my confined education and coarse taste, to aim
at making critical remarks. And though ever so well qualified, I
am satisfied that your grace's works would come out pure from the
essay." The successor of the apostles smiled at my answer. He
made no observation on it ; but it was very easy to perceive, not-
withstanding all his professions of piety, that he was an arrant
author at the bottom: there is something in that dye that not
Heaven itself can wash out.
I seemed to have purchased the fee-simple of his good graces by
my flattery. Day after day did I get a step farther in his esteem ;
and Don Ferdinand, who came to see him very often, told me my
footing was so firm, that there could not be a doubt but my fortune
was made. Of this my master himself gave me a proof some little
time afterwards ; and the occasion was as follows : one evening in
his closet he rehearsed before me, with appropriate emphasis and
action, a homily which he was to deliver the next day in the cathe-
dral. He did not content himself with asking what I thought of it
in the gross, but insisted on my telling him what passages struck
me most. I had the good fortune to pick out those which were
nearest to his own taste, his favorite commonplaces. Thus, as luck
356 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
would have it, I passed in his estimation for a man who had a quick
and natural relish of the real and less obvious beauties in a work.
"This, indeed," exclaimed he, "is what you may call having dis-
cernment and feeling in perfection 1 Well, well, my friend 1 it can-
not be said of you,
' Boeotlim in crasso Jurares aere natum.'
In a word he was so highly pleased with me, as to add, in a tone of
extraordinary emotion, " Never mind, Gil Bias I henceforward take
no care about hereafter : I shall make it my business to place you
among the favored children of my bounty. You have my best
wishes ; and to prove to you that you have them, I shall take you
into my inmost confidence."
These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than I fell at his
grace's feet, quite overwhelmed with gratitude. I embraced his
elliptical legs with almost pagan idolatry, and considered myself as
a man on the high road to a very handsome fortune. " Yes, my
child," resumed the archbishop, whose speech had been cut short by
the rapidity of my prostration, " I mean to make you the receiver-
general of all my inmost ruminations. Hearken attentively to what
I am going to say. I have a great pleasure in preaching. The
Lord sheds a blessing on my homilies ; they sink deep into the
hearts of sinners ; set up a glass in which vice sees its own image,
and bring back many from the paths of error into the high road of
repentance. What a heavenly sight, when a miser, scared at the
hideous picture drawn by my eloquence of Tiis avarice, opens his
coffers to the poor and needy, and dispenses the accumulated store
with a liberal hand I The voluptuary, too, is snatched from the
pleasures of the table; ambition flies at my command to the whole-
some discipline of the monastic cell ; while female frailty, tottering
on the brink of ruin, with one ear open to the siren voice of the
seducer, and the other to my saintly correctives, is restored to do-
mestic happiness and the approving smile of Heaven, by the timely
warnings of the pulpit. These miraculous conversions, which hap-
pen almost every Sunday, ought of themselves to goad me on in the
career of saving souls. Nevertheless, to conceal no part of my weak-
ness from my monitor, there is another reward on which my heart
18 intent, a reward which the seraphic scrupulousness of my virtue
to httle purpose condemns as too carnal— a literary reputation for a
sublime and elegant style. The honor of being handed down to
posterity as a perfect pulpit orator has its irresistible attractions.
My compositions are generally thought to be equally powerful and
persuasive ; but I could wish of all things to steer clear of the rock
on which good authors split, who are too long before the public,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 357
and to retire from professional life with my reputation in undi-
minished lustre.
" To this end, my dear Gil Bias," continued the prelate, " there
is one thing requisite from your zeal and friendship. Whenever it
shall strike you that my pen begins to contract, as it were, the ossi-
fication of old age, whenever you see my genius in its climacteric,
do not fail to give me a hint. There is no trusting to one's self in
such a case ; pride and conceit were the original sin of man. The
probe of criticism must be intrusted to an impartial stander-by, of
fine talents and unshaken probity. Both those requisites centre in
you ; you are my choice, and I give myself up to your direction."
" Heaven be praised, my lord," said I, " there is no need to trouble
yourself with any such thoughts yet. Besides, an understanding of
your grace's mould and calibre will last out double the time of a
common genius ; or, to speak with more certainty and truth, it will
never be the worse for wear, if you live to the age of Methuselah.
I consider you as a second Cardinal Ximenes, whose powers, superior
to decay, instead of flagging with years, seem to derive new vigor
from their approximation with the heavenly regions." " No flattery,
my friend I" interrupted he. " I know myself to be in danger of
failing all at once. At my age one begins to be sensible of in-
firmities, and those of the body communicate with the mind. I
repeat it to you, Gil Blasy as soon as you shall be of opinion that
my head is not so clear as usual, give me warning of it instantly.
Do not be afraid of ofiending by frankness and sincerity : to put me
in mind of my own frailty will be the strongest proof of your affec-
tion for me. Besides, your very interest is concerned in it, for if it
should, by any spite of chance towards you, come to my ears that
the people say in town, ' His grace's sermons produce no longer
their accustomed impression ; it is time for him to abandon his
pulpit to younger candidates,' I d(J assure you, most seriously and
solemnly, you will lose not only my friendship, but the provision
for life that I have promised you. Such will be the result of your
silly tampering with truth."
Here my patron left ofif to wait for my answer, which was an
echo of his speech, and a promise of obeying him in all things.
From that moment there were no secrets from me ; I became the
prime favorite. All the household, except Melchior de la Ronda,
looked at me with an eye of envy. It was curious to observe the
manner in which the whole establishment, from the highest to the
lowest, thought it necessary to demean themselves towards his
grace's confidential secretary; there was no meanness to which they
would not stoop to curry favor with me ; I could scarcely believe
they were Spaniards. I left no stone unturned to be of service to
358 , ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
them, without being taken in by their interested assiduities. My
lord archbishop, at my entreaty, took them by the hand. He got
a company for one, and fitted him out so as to make a handsome
figure in the army. Another he sent to Mexico, with a consider-
able appointment which he procured him ; and I obtained a good
slice of his bounty for my friend Melchior. It was evident, from
these facts, that if the prelate was not particularly active in good
works, at least he rarely gave a churlish refusal, when any one had
the courage to importune him for his benevolence.
But what I did for a priest seems to deserve being noticed more
at large. One day a certain licentiate, by name Lewis Garcias, a
well-looking man still in the prime of life, was presented to me by
our steward, who said, " Signor Gil Bias, in this honest ecclesiastic
you behold one of my best friends. He was formerly chaplain to a
nunnery. Scandal has taken a few liberties with his chastity.
Malicious stories have been trumped up to hurt him in my lord
archbishop's opinion, who has suspended him, and unfortunately is
so strongly prejudiced by his enemies, as to be deaf to any petition
in his favor. In vain have we interested the first people in Granada
to get him reestablished ; our master will not hear of it."
" These first people in Granada," said I, " have gone the wrong
way to work. It would have been much better if no interest at all
had been made for the reverend licentiate. People have only done
him a mischief by endeavoring to serve him. I know my lord
archbishop thoroughly ; entreaties and importunate recommenda-
tions do but aggravate the ill condition of a clergj-man who lies
under his displeasure ; it is but a very short time ago since I heard
him mutter the following sentiment to himself, 'The more persons
a priest, who has been guilty of any misconduct, engages to speak
to me in his behalf, the more widely is the scandal of the church
disseminated, and the more sevefe is my treatment of the offender.' "
"That is very unlucky," replied the steward; "and my friend
would be put to his last shifts if he did not write a good hand. But,
happily, he has the pen of a ready scribe, and keeps his head above
water by the exercise of that talent." I was curious to see whether
this boasted handwriting was so much better than my own. The
licentiate, who had a specimen in his pocket, showed me a sheet
which I admired very much; it had all the regularity of a writing-
master's copy. In looking over this model of penmanship, an idea
occurred to me. I begged Gracias to leave this paper in my hands,
saying that I might be able to do something with it which should
turn out to his advantage ; that I could not explain myself at that
moment, but would tell him more the next day. The licentiate, to
whom the steward had evidently talked big about my capacity to
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 359
serve him, withdrew in as good spirits as if lie had already been
restored to his functions.
I was in earnest in my endeavor that he should be so, and lost
no time in setting to work. Happening to be alone with the arch-
bishop, I produced the specimen. My patron was delighted with it.
Seizing on this favorable opportunity, " May it please your grace,"
said I, " since you are determined not to put your homilies to the
press, I should very much like them to be transcribed in this
masterly manner."
" I am very well satisfied with your performance," answered the
prelate ; " but yet I own that it would be a pleasant thing to have a
copy of my works in that hand." " Your grace," replied I, " has
only to signify your wishes. The man who copies so well is a
licentiate (rf my acquaintance. It will give him so much the more
pleasure to gratify you, as it may be the means of interesting your
goodness to extricate him from the melancholy situation to which
he has the misfortune at present to be reduced."
The prelate could not do otherwise than inquire the name of this
licentiate. I told him it was Lewis Garcias. " He is in despair at
having drawn down your censure upon him." "That Garciag,"
interrupted he, " if I am not mistaken, was chaplain in a convent
of nuns, and has been brought into the ecclesiastical court as a de-
linquent. I recollect some very heavy charges which have been
sent me against him. His morals are not the most exemplary."
"May it please your grace," interrupted I in my turn, "it is not for
me to justify him in all points ; but I know that he has enemies.
He maintains that the authors of the informations you have re-
ceived are more bent on doing him an ill oflBce than on vindicating
the purity of religion." " That very possibly may be the case,"
replied the archbishop ; " there are a great many firebrands in the
world. Besides, though we should take it for granted that his con-
duct has not always been above suspicion, he may have repented
of his sins ; in short, the mercies of Heaven are infinite, however
heinous our transgressions. Bring that licentiate before me ; I take
off his suspension."
Thus it is that men of the most austere character descend from
their altitudes when interest or a favorite whim reduces them to the
level of the frail. The archbishop granted, without a struggle, to
the empty vanity of having his works well copied, what he had re-
fused to the most respectable applications. I carried the news with
all possible expedition to the steward, who communicated it to his
friend Garcias. That licentiate, on the following day, came to re-
turn me thanks commensurate with the favor obtained. I presented
him to my master, who contented himself with giving him a slight
360 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
reprimand, and put the homilies into his hand, to copy them out
fair. Garcias performed the task so satisfactorily, that he was rein-
stated in the cure of souls, and was afterwards preferred to the living
of Gabia, a large market town in the neighborhood of Granada.
CHAPTER IV.
THE ARCHBISHOP IS STRUCK WITH APOPLEXY. HOW GIL BLAS GETB
INTO A DILEMMA, AND HOW HE GETS OUT.
WHILE I was thus rendering myself a blessing first to one
and then to the other, Don Ferdinand de Leyva was making
his arrangements for leaving Granada. I called on that nobleman
before his departure, to thank him once more for the advantageous
post he had procured me. My expressions of satisfaction were so
lively, that he said, "My dear Gil Bias, I am delighted to find you
in such good humor with my uncle the archbishop." " I am abso-
lutely in love with him," answered I. " His goodness to me has
been such as I can never sufficiently acknowledge. Less than my
present happiness could never have made me amends for being at
so great a distance from Don Caesar and his son." "I am per-
suaded," replied he, " that they are both of them equally chagrined
at having lost you. But possibly you are not separated forever;
fortune may some day bring you together again." I could not hear
such an idea started without being moved by it. My sighs would
find vent ; and I felt at that moment so strong an affection for Don
Alphonso, that I could willingly have turned my back on the arch-
bishop and an the fine prospects that were opening to me, and have
gone back to the castle of Leyva, had but a mortification taken place
in the back of the scarecrow which had frightened me away. Don
Ferdinand was not insensible to the emotions that agitated me, and
felt himself so much obliged by them, that he took his leave with
the assurance of the whole family always taking an anxious interest
in my fate.
Two months after this worthy gentleman had left us, in the luxu-
riant harvest of my highest favor, a lowering storm came suddenly
over the episcopal palace; the archbishop had a stroke of apoplexy.
By dint of immediate applications and good nursing, in a few days
there was no bodily appearance of disease remaining. But his
reverend intellects did not so easily recover from their lethargy. I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 361
could not help observing it to myself in the very first discourse that
he composed. Yet there was not such a wide gap between the
merits of the present and the former ones as to warrant the infer-
ence that the sun of oratory was many degrees advanced in its post-
meridian course. A second homily was worth waiting for, because
that would clearly determine the line of my conduct. Alas, and
well-a-day I when that second homily came, it was a knock-down
argument. Sometimes the good prelate moved forward, and some->
times he moved backward ; sometimes he mounted up into the
garret, and sometimes dipped down into the cellar. It was a com-
position of more sound than meaning, something like a superannu-
ated schoolmaster's theme, when he attempts to give his boys more
sense than he possesses of his own, or like a capuchin's sermon,
which only scatters a few artificial flowers of paltry rhetoric over a
barren desert of doctrine.
I was not the only person whom the alteration struck. The audi-
ence at large, when he delivered it, as if they too had been pledged
to watch the advances of dotage, said to one another in a whisper
all around the church, "Here is a sermon with symptoms of apo-
plexy in every paragraph." "Come, my good Coryphaeus of the
public taste in homilies," said I then, to myself, " prepare to do
your office. You see that my lord archbishop is going very fast —
you ought to warn him of it, not only as his bosom friend, on whose
sincerity he relies, but lest some blunt fellow should anticipate you,
and bolt out the truth in an offensive manner ; in that case you
know the consequence ; you would be struck out of his will, where,
no doubt, you have a more convertible bequest than the licentiate
Sedillo's library."
But as reason, like Janus, looks at things with two faces, I began
to consider the other side of the question ; the hint seemed difficult
to wrap up so as to make it palatable. Authors in general are stark
mad on the subject of their own works, and such an author might be
more testy than the common herd of the irritable race ; but that
suspicion seemed illiberal on my part, for it was impossible that my
freedom should be taken amiss when it had been forced upon me by
80 positive an injunction. Add to this, that I reckoned upon hand-
ling the subject skillfully, and cramming discretion down his throat
like a high-seasoned epicurean dish. After all my pro and con,
finding that I risked more by keeping silence than by breaking it, I
determined to venture on the delicate duty of speating my mind.
Now there was but one difficulty — a difficulty indeed! how to open
the business. Luckily the orator himself extricated me from that
embarrassment, by asking what they said of him in the world at
large, and whether people were tolerably well pleased with his last
362 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
discourse, I answered that there could be but one opinion about
his homilies ; but that it should seem as if the last had not quite
struck home to the hearts of the audience, lilce those which had
gone before. " Do you really mean what you say, my friend?" re-
plied he, with a sort of wriggling surprise. "Then my congregation
are more in the temper of Aristarchus than of Longinus I" " No,
may it please your grace," rejoined I, "quite the contrary. Per-
formances of that order are above the reach of vulgar criticism :
there is not a soul but expects to be saved by their influence.
Nevertheless, since you have made it my duty to be sincere and un-
reserved, I shall take the liberty of just stating that your last dis-
course is not written with quite the overpowering eloquence and
conclusive argument of your former ones. Does not your grace feel
just as I do on the subject?"
This ignorant and stupid frankness of mine completely blanched
my master's cheek ; but he forced a fretful smile, and said, " Then,
good Master Gil Bias, that piece does not exactly hit your fancy?"
"I did not mean to say that, your grace," interrupted I, looking very
foolish. " It is very far superior to what any one else could produce,
though a little below par with respect to your own works in gen-
eral." " I know what you mean," replied he. " You think I am
going down hill, do you not? Out with it at once. It is your
opinion that it is time for me to think of retiring?" "I should
never have had the presumption," said I, " to deliver myself with so
little reserve, if it had not been your grace's express command. I
act in entire obedience to your grace's orders ; and I most obsequi-
ously implore your grace not to take offence at my boldness." " I
were unfit to live in a Christian land," interrupted he, with stam-
mering impatience, — "I were unfit to live in a Christian land if I
liked you the less for such a Christian virtue as sincerity. A man
who does not love sincerity sets his face against the distinguishing
mark between a friend and a flatterer. I should have given you infi-
nite credit for speaking what you thought, if you had thought any-
thing that deserved to be spoken. I have been finely taken in by
your outside show of cleverness, without any solid- foundation of
sober judgment."
Though completely unhorsed, and at the enemy's mercy, I wanted
to make terms of decent capitulation, and to go unmolested into
winter quarters ; but let those who think to appease an exasperated
author, and especially an author whose ear has been long attuned
to the music of his own praises, take warning by my fate. " Let us
talk no more on the subject, my very young friend," said he. " You
are as yet scarcely in the rudiments of good taste, and utterly in-
competent to distinguish between gold and tinsel. You are yet to
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 363
learn that I never in all my life composed a finer homily than that
unfortunate one which had not the honor of your approbation. The
immortal part of me, by the blessing of Heaven on me arid my con-
gregation, is less weighed down by human infirmity than when the
flesh was stronger. We all grow wiser as we grow older, and I shall
in future select the people about me with more caution, nor submit
the castigation of my works but to a much abler critic than yourself.
Get about your business !" pursued he, giving me an angry shove by
the shoulders out of his closet ; " go and tell my treasurer to pay
you a hundred ducats, and take my priestly blessing in addition to
that sum. God speed you, good Master Gil Bias! I heartily pray
that you may do well in the world ! There is nothing to stand in
yout way but the want of a little better taste."
CHAPTEE V.
THE CXJtTESE WHICH GIL BLAS TOOK AFTER LEAVING THE AKCHBISHOP.
HIS ACCIDENTAL MEETING WITH THE LICENTIATE.
I MADE the best of my way out of the closet, cursing the caprice,
or more properly the dotage, of the archbishop, and more in
dudgeon at his absurdity, than cast down at the loss of his good
graces. For some time it was a moot point whether I should go and
lay claim to my hundred ducats ; but after having weighed the
matter dispassionately, I was not such a fool as to quarrel with my
bread and butter. There was no reason why that money, fairly
earned, should deprive me of my natural right to make a joke of
this ridiculous prelate ; in which good deed I promised myself not
to be wanting, as often as himself or his homilies were brought upon
the carpet in my hearing.
I went, therefore, and asked the treasurer for a hundred ducats,
without telling a word about the literary warfare between his mas-
ter and me. Afterwards I called on Melchior de la Eonda, to take
a long leave of him. He was too much my friend not to sympa-
thize with my misfortune. While I was telling my story, vexation
was strongly imprinted on his countenance. In spite of all his
respect for the archbishop, he could not help blaming him ; but
when, in the fever of my resentment, I threatened to be a match for
the prelate, and to entertain the whole city at his expense, the pru-
dent Melchior gave me a salutary caution : " Take my advice, my
864 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
dear Gil Bias, and rather pocket the affront. Men of a lower sphere
in life should always be cap in hand to people of quality, whatever
may be theil* grounds of complaint. It must be admitted that there
are some very coarse specimens of greatness, which in themselves
are scarcely deserving of the least respect or attention ; but even
such animals have their weapons of annoyance, and it is best to
keep out of their way."
I thanked the old valet-de-chambre for the. good counsel he had
given me, and promised to be guided by it. Pleased with my defer-
ence to his opinion, he said to me, " If you go to Madrid, be sure
you call upon my nephew, Joseph Navarro. He is factotum in the
family of Signor Don Balthazar de Zunigna, and I can venture to
recommend him as a lad in every respect worthy of your friend-
ship. He is just as nature made him, with all the vivacity of youth,
courteous in his manners, and forward to oblige ; I could wish you
to get acquainted with him." I answered that I would not fail to
go and see this Joseph Navarro as soon as I should get to Madrid,
whither I meant to return in due time. Then did I turn my back
on the episcopal palace, never to grace it with my presence again.
If I had kept my horse, I should perhaps have set out for Toledo
immediately ; but I had sold it during the period of my administra-
tion, supposing that I was in oflSce for life, and should not hence-
forward be migratory. My final resolution was to hire a ready-fur-
nished lodging, as I had made up my mind to stay another month
in Granada, and then to pay the Count de Polan a visit.
As dinner-hour was drawing nigh, I asked my landlady if there
was any eating-house in the neighborhood. She answered that
there was a very good one within a few yards of her house,
where the accommodations were excellent, and the company select
and numerous. I made her show me where it was, and went thither
sharp set. I was shown into a large room, resembling the hall of a
monastery in everything but good cheer. There were ten or a dozen
men sitting at a long table, with a cloth spread over it that fretted
in its own grease; but they, with unoffended nostrils, were engaged
in general conversation, though they dined individually, each hav-
ing a miserable scrap for his portion. The people of the house
brought me my allowance, which at another time would have turned
my stomach, and have made me sigh after the luxuries of the table
I had just lost. But at this moment I was so indignant against the
archbishop, that the homely fare of a paltry eating-house seemed
more palatable than the dainties of his sumptuous board. It was a
burning shame to see such a waste of provisions served up in soups
and sauces to pamper the appetite. Arguing like a deep examiner
in the economy of the human frame, and reasoning medically as well
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 365
as philosophically on the disproportion between the simple wants
of nature and the complexity of luxurious indulgence, " Cursed be
they," said I, " who invented those pernicious dinners and suppers,
where one must sit on the tenterhooks of self-denial, for fear of
overloading the storehouse and shop of the whole body ! Man wants
but little here below, and provided he can keep but body and soul
together, the less he eats, the better." Thus did I, in my surly
vein, give utterance to wise saws, which, however just in theory, had
hitherto been little recommended by my practice.
While I was despatching my commons, without any danger of a
surfeit from repletion, the licentiate Lewis Garcias, who had got the
living of Gabia in the manner before mentioned, came into the
room. The moment he recognized me, he ran into my arms with
all the cordiality of friendship, or rather with the extravagant joy
of a lover after a long exile from his mistress. He folded me
repeatedly within his sincere embrace, and I was compelled to stand
the brunt of a long-winded compliment on the unparalleled disin-
terestedness of my conduct towards him. Gratitude is a fine virtue,
yet it is wearisome when carried beyond the bounds. He took his
seat next me, saying, "Well, a parson must not swear; though, by
the mass, my dear patron, since my good fortune has thrown me in
your way, we will not part without a jovial glass. But as there is
no good wine in this shabby inn, I will take you, if you please, after
our make-shift dinner, to a place where I will treat you with a
couple of bottles, rich, genuine, and old, in comparison of which the
Falernian of Horace was all a farce. The church will give us abso-
lution, in the cause of gratitude! If I could but get you for a few
days down at my parsonage of Gabia I Maecenas was never more
welcome to the poet's Sabine farm than the author of all my ease
and comfort to the choicest produce of a glebe which is mine only
by your benevolence."
While he was holding this high-flown language, his little slice of
dinner was set before him. He fell to without the fear of indiges-
tion before his eyes, still heightening the luxury of the repast, at
intervals, by fine speeches addressed to me in the most fulsome
style of flattery. I took the opportunity, when his mouth was filled
with something more substantial, to edge in a word or two amidst
the torrent ; and as he had not forgotten to ask after his friend the
steward, I made no bones about acknowledging that I was no longer
a hanger-on of the church. , I even went so far as to particularize
the most trivial circumstances attending my resignation, to all of
which he listened with an attentive ear. After all his fine profes-
sions, who would not have expected to see him moved even to tears
with the throes of resentful gratitude, to hear him thunder bulls and
366 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
interdicts against the superannuated archbishop? The devil a bit I
he did neither the one thing nor the other. But his countenance
fell, and his whole air was that of an absent man ; the rest of his
dinner was bolted down without the garnish of intermediate talk
about Maecenas ; as soon as he had done, he hurried from table
without minding grace or gratitude, wished me good day with a
cold and distant air, and got off as fast as possible. The unfeeling
scoundrel, perceiving that I was no longer in a situation for him to
pump anything out of me, would not even take the trouble to draw
a decent veil over his dirty principles. But such a blackguard could
excite no other sensation than contempt and laughter. Looking at
him with derision, the fittest chastisement for fellows like these, I
called after him, loud enough to be heard by the whole room,
" Stop there, you nun's priest I Go and put those two bottles in ice
against Maecenas comes to the Sabine farm ! Be sure they ax*e rich,
genuine^ and old, or they will be a farce to Falernian."
CHAPTEE VI.
GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY AT GRANADA. HIS SURPRISE AT SEEING
ONE OF THE ACTRESSES, AND WHAT HAPPENED THEREUPON.
""^T"0 sooner had Garcias rid the room of his presence, than two
_L 1 gentlemen came in, extremely well dressed, and took their
seats close by me. They began talking about the players of the
Granada company, and about a new piece which just then had a
great run. According to their account, it was quite the town talk.
Nothing would do for me but to go and see it that very day. I had
never been at the play since my residence at Granada. As I had
lived nearly the whole time in the archbishop's palace, where all
such profane shows were condemned as uncanonical, I had been cut
off from every recreation of that sort. All my knowledge of men
and manners was drawn from homilies !
I repaired, therefore, to the theatre at the appointed hour, and
found a very full house. All around me, discussions were going on
about the piece before the curtain drew up ; and there was not a
soul in the numerous assembly but had some remark to make upon
it. One liked it, another could not bear it. " Do not you think the
dialogue is particularly happy?" said a candid critic on my right.
" Was there ever such miserable stuff I" cried a snarling critic on
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 367
my left. In good truth, if bad authors abound, it must be admitted
that the public are at variance about what is good and what is bad :
but the bad judges have a right to be pleased for their money ; and
as they far outnumber the good ones, their favorite writers can never
want employment. When one only considers through what an
ordeal dramatic poets have to pass, it is a matter of wonder that any
should be found hardy enough at once to contend against the ignor-
ance of the multitude and the random shot of those self-created
guides in matters of taste, who always pretend to lead the blind-
ness of the public judgment, and too frequently push it into the
mire of absurdity.
At length the buffoon of the piece came forward by way of pro-
logue. As soon as his grotesque countenance was visible, there was
a general clapping of hands ; a sure indication of his being one of
those spoiled actors who are allowed to take any liberties with the
pit, and to be applauded through thick and thin. In fact, this
player neither opened his lips, nor moved a muscle, without excit-
ing the most extravagant raptures. He would have performed
better had he been less conscious what a favorite he was. But he
presumed on that circumstance most abominably. I observed that
he sometimes forgot what was set down for him, and took the license
of adding to his part out of his own free fancy — a common cause of
complaint against low comedians, which, though it make the un-
skillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve. Would the
audience but receive such mirth with hisses, instead of crying
bravo, they might restrain the absurd practice, and purge the stage
.from barbarism.
Some of the other performers were greeted with the usual tokens
on their entrance, and particularly an actress who played the
chambermaid. There was something about her which more than
usually attracted my attention ; and language must sink under the
labor of expressing my astonishment at tracing the features of
Laura, that fair, that chaste, that inexpressible she, whom I sup-
posed to be still at Madrid, warbling in one key, with hands, sides,
voice, and mind incorporate with Arsenia. But there could be no
doubt of her identity. The kick in her gallop, the leer in her eye,
and the tripping pertness of her tongue, all conspired in evidence
that there could be no mistake. Yet, as if I had refused belief to
the affidavit of my own eyes and ears, I asked her name of a gentle-
man who was sitting beside me. " What the deuce! Why, whera
do you come from ?" said he. "You must unquestionably be a new
importation, not to have seen or heard of the divine Estella."
The likeness was too perfect for me to be mistaken. It was easy
to comprehend why Laura, changing her sphere of action, changed
368 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
her name also , wherefore, from curiosity to know how matters stood
with her, since the public always pry into the most private concerns
of theatrical persons, I inquired of the same man whether this
Estella had any particular affair of gallantry on her hands. He in-
formed me that for the last two months there had been a great
Portuguese nobleman at Granada, — his name was the Marquis de
Marialva, — who had laid out a great deal of money upon her. He
might have told me more, if I had not been afraid of becoming
troublesome with my questions. I was better employed in musing on
the information this good gentleman had given me than in attending
to the play ; and if any one had asked me what it was all about, when
the piece was over, I should have been puzzled for an answer. I
could do nothing but decline Laura and Estella through all cases
and numbers, till at length I boldly made up my mind to call at
her house the next day. Not but there was some risk as to the
reception she might give me : it might be suspected, without excess
of modesty, that my appearance wooild give her no great pleasure
in the high tide of her affairs ; nor was it at all improbable that so
good an actress, to revenge herself on a man with whom certainly
she had an account to settle, might look strange, and swear she had
never seen his face before. Yet did none of these apprehensions
deter me from my venture. After a light supper,— for all the meals
at my eating-house were regulated on principles of economy and.
temperance, — I withdrew to my chamber with an anxious longing
for the next day.
My sleep was short and interrupted, so that I got up by daybreak.
But as it was to be recollected that a mistress in high keep was not .
likely to be visible early in the morning, I passed three or four
hours in dressing, shaving, powdering, and perfuming. It was my
business to present myself before her in a trim not to put her to the
blush at acknowledging my acquaintance. I sallied forth about
ten o'clock, and knocked at her door, after having inquired her
address at the theatre. She was living on the first floor of a large
and elegant house. I told a chambermaid, who opened the door to
me, that a young man wanted to speak with her lady. The cham-
bermaid went in to give my message, when all at once I heard her
mistress call out, not in the best-tempered tone in the world, "Who
is the young man ? What does he want ? Show him up stairs."
This was a hint to me that my time was ill chosen ; that probably
her Portuguese lover was at her toilet, and that she spoke so loud
with the laudable design of convincing him that she was not a sort
of girl to allow of any impertinent intruders. This conjecture of
mine turned out to be the fact ; the Marquis de Marialva lounged
away almost every morning with her ; I had made up my mind to be
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 869
kicked down stairs by way of welcome ; but that admirable actress,
never forgetting her cue, ran forward with open arms at the sight
of me, exclaiming, " Ah ! my dear brother, is it you that I behold?"
On the strength of so near a kindred, she was no niggard of her
embraces, but recollected herself so far as to say, turning round to
the Portuguese, " My lord, you must excuse me if nature will put in
her claim, and trench upon good breeding. After three years of
absence, I cannot see a brother once again, whom I love so tenderly,
without expressing my feelings in all their warmth. Come, jny
dear Gil Bias," continued she, addressing me afresh, "tell me
some news of the family : in what circumstances did you leave it?"
This whimsical scene disconcerted me at first, but I was not long
in seeing through Laura's intention, and playing up to her with a
spirit scarcely less than her own, answered, according to the plot,
" Heaven be praised, sister, all our good folks are in perfect health,
and well in the world." " I make no doubt," resumed she, " but
you must be very much surprised to find me an actress in Granada;
but hear me first, and blame me afterwards. It is three years, as
you may recollect, since my father thought to have established me
advantageously in marriage with Don Antonio Ccello, an ofl5cer in
the service, who took me from the Asturias to Madrid, his native
place. Six months after our arrival, he got into an affair of honor
in consequence of his violent temper. Some attentions incautiously
paid to me were the cause of the affray, and his antagonist was
killed. This gentleman was of a family high in rank and interest.
My husband, who, though well born, had very few connections,
made his escape into Catalonia with everything he could get
together in jewels and ready money. He embarked at Barcelona,
went over into Italy, enlisted in the Venetian service, and finally
lost his life in the Morea, fighting against the Turks. In the mean-
time, a landed estate which constituted our whole revenue was
confiscated, and I was left a widow with very little for my support.
What was to be done in so pressing an emergency? There was
nothing left to pay my travelling expenses back into the Asturias.
And then what should I have done there? I should have got
nothing from my family but a long string of condolences, which
would have furnished me neither with food nor with raiment. On
the other hand, I had been too well brought up to fall into those
courses into which too many poor young women are betrayed for the
sake of a scandalous siibsistence. There was but one thing remain-
ing for me to determine on. I turned actress to preserve my morals."
So tingling a sense of ridicule came over me when Laura wound
up her romance with this pious motive for turning actress, that I
could scarcely refrain from relieving myself by a fit of laughter.
24
370 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
But gravity was of too much consequence to be dispensed with, and
I said to her with an air the counterpart of her own, " My dear
sister, I entirely approve of your conduct, and am heartily glad to
meet with you at Granada, and moreover settled on so respectable
a footing."
The Marquis de Marialva, who had not lost a word of all these
fine speeches, swallowed down blindfold whatever Don Antonio's
widow thought fit to drench his credulity with. He took part in
the conversation too, and asked me whether I had any fixed em-
ployment in Granada or elsewhere. I paused for a moment to
consider whether and after what manner I should lie ; but as there
seemed no need in this case to draw on my invention, I told the
truth by way of variety. In a plain, matter-of-fact manner did I
rehearse my introduction to the archbishop's palace, and my dis-
charge therefrom, to the infinite amusement of his Portuguese
lordship. To be sure, in telling the truth, I did not keep my word,
for I could not help launching out a little at the archbishop's ex-
pense, in spite of my solemn promise given to Melchior. But the
best of the joke was, that Laura, taking my story for a fiction in-
vented after her example, burst out into peals of laughter ; whereas
the whimsicality of the circumstances would have raised a soberer
mirth, had she known it to have been alloyed with the base ingre-
dient of veracity.
After having come to the end of my tale, which closed with just
mentioning the lodging I had taken, dinner was announced. I
instantly motioned to withdraw, as if intending to take that frugal
meal at home; but Laura would not hear of it. " Do you mean to
affront me, brother ?" said she. " You must dine here. Indeed I
cannot think of your staying any longer at a paltry inn. You must
positively board and lodge in my house. Send your trunks hither
this very evening ; there is a spare bed for you."
His Portuguese lordship, possibly not altogether relishing this
excess of hospitality even to a brother, then interfered between us,
and said to Laura, " No, Estella, you have not sufiicient accommo-
dation to give him a bed without inconvenience. Your brother
seems to be a clever young fellow, and the circumstance of his being
so nearly related to you gives him a strong claim on my kindness.
He shall be put at once upon my establishment. I am in want of
a secretary, and shall delight in giving him the appointment ; he
shall be my right-hand man. Let him be stire to come and sleep
at my house this very night; I will order a room to be got ready for
him. I will fix his regular salary at four hundred ducats ; and if,
on better acquaintance, I have reason, as I trust I shall, to be sat-
isfied with him, I will place him in a situation to laugh at the con-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 371
sequences of having been a little too plain-spoken with his patron
the archbishop."
My acknowledgments to the marquis for his high honor were fol-
lowed by those of Laura, who far exceeded me in powers of pane-
gyric. " Let us drop the subject," interrupted he; "it is a settled
point." Settled as it was, he confirmed the contract on the lips of
his green-room Dulcinea, and went his way. She immediately
pulled me by the arm into a closet, where, secure from interruption*
she cried out, " Cut my laces I 1 shall burst if I do not give way at
once to the fit of laughter that is coming over me." And so she
probably would ; for she threw herself into an arm-chair, and hold-
ing both hej* sides, shouted out her convulsive peal of mirth like
a mad woman. It was impossible for me to refrain from following
her example. When we had exhausted our risible propensities,
" Own, Gil Bias," said she, " that we have just been acting a very
humorous farce. But I did not look for the concluding scene. My
only thought was to secure you board and lodging under my own
roof; and there was no other possibility of making the proposition
in a modest way but by passing you off for my brother. But I am
heartily glad that the chapter of accidents has opened with so good
a berth for you. The Marquis de Marialva is a nobleman of liberal
and honorable sentiments, who will be better than his word in what
he does for you. But confess now! There is scarcely a woman in
existence except myself would have given so coming-on a reception
to a fellow who shirks his friends without saying with your leave
or by your leave. I, however, am one of those simple-hearted girls
who are glad to receive back again the base man they have once
loved, though he should have offended and repented seven, or even
seven thousand times."
The best way for me was to acknowledge the extreme ill-breed-
ing of which I had been guilty, to blush and beg pardon once for
all. After this explanation, she led the way to a very handsome
dining-room. We placed ourselves at table, where, having a cham-
bermaid and footboy for eye-witnesses, we kept within the bounds of
brother and sister When we had done dinner, we went back again
into the same closet where we had been conversing before. Having
our time to ourselves, my paragon of a Laura, giving herself up to
her natural love of merriment, and to her no less natural curiosity,
required from me a faithful and true narrative of all my pros and
cons, my ins and outs, since that unmannerly separation of ours. I
gave her a full and particular account, nothing extenuating on my
own behalf, nor setting down aught in malice on the other side.
When I had quenched her thirst after a story, she slaked mine by
communicating the following particulars of her eventful life.
372 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER VII.
lauba's story.
*< T SHALL just run over to you, as briefly as possible, the cir-
I cumstances which led me to embrace the theatrical profes-
sion. After you took French leave, so much to your credit, great
events happened. My mistress, Arsenia, more surfeited with a glut
of pleasures than scandalized at their immorality, renounced the
stage, and took me with her to a fine estate which she had just pur-
chased in the neighborhood of Zenora with the wages of her sinful
life. "We soon got acquainted in the town. Our visits there were
very frequent, and sometimes for a day or two together. With the
exception of these little excursions, we were as closely domesticated
as probationers in a nunnery, and almost as piously employed.
" On one of our high days and holidays, Don Felix Maldonado,
the corregidor's only son, saw me by chance, and took a liking to
me. He soon found an opportunity of speaking with me in private,
and as it is in vain to affect modesty before one who knows me so
well, there was some little contrivance of my own to bring the inter-
view about. The young gentleman was not twenty years of age ;
the very picture of Venus's sweetheart, or Venus's sweetheart the
very picture of him, with a form for a sculptor to work from ; with
an address so elegant, and with sentiments so generous, as to throw
even his personal graces into the background. There was such a
winning way with him, so pressing an earnestness to prevail, when
he took a large diamond from his own finger and slid it upon
mine, that it would have been quite brutal not to have let it stay
there. It was really something like sentiment that I began to enter-
tain towards a swain of so interesting a character. But what an
absurd thing it is for wenches of a certain sort to hook themselves
upon young men of family when their surly fathers hold official
situations ! The corregidor, who had scarcely his equal in the whole
tribe of corregidors, got wind of our correspondence, and determined
to close it in a summary manner. He sent a host of alguazils to
take me into custody, who dragged me away, in spite of my cries
and tears, to the house of correction for female penitents.
"There, without bill of indictment or form of trial, the lady
abbess ordered me to be stripped of my ring and my clothes, and to
be dressed in the habit of the institution, — a long gown of gray
serge, tied about the middle with a strap of black leather, whence
depended a rosary with large beads swinging down to my heels.
After this pleasant reception, they took me into a hall, where there
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 373
was an old monk, — the deuce knows of what order, — who set to work
preaching up repentance and resignation, pretty much in the same
strain as Dame Leonarda, when she exhorted you to patience in
the subterranean cavern. He told me that I was excessively obliged
indeed to those good people who had so kindly shut me up, and
could never thank them sufficiently for their good deed in rescuing
me from the harpy talons of the world, the flesh, and the devil. But
I must frankly own that all my other sins were pressed down and
heaped high with ingratitude. Far from overflowing with the milk
of human kindness towards those who had conferred such a favor
upon me, I abused them in terms that would have put any diction-
ary to the blush.
" Eight days thus passed in this wildernessof desolation, but on
the ninth — for I had notched the hours and even the minutes on a
stick — my fate seemed beginning to take another turn. Crossing a
little court, I met the house steward, a personage whose will was abso-
lute ; yes, the lady abbess herself was obedient to his will. He ren-
dered an account of his stewardship to none but the corregidor, on
whom alone he was dependent, and whose confidence in him was
unbounded. His name was Pedro Zendono, and the town of Salse-
don, in Biscay, laid claim to the honor of his birth. Figure to
yourself a tall man, with the complexion of a mummy and the bare
anatomy of a dealer in mortification ; he might have sat for the
penitent thief in a picture of the crucifixion. He scarcely ever cast
a carnal glance towards us Magdalens. You never saw such a face
of rank hypocrisy in all your life, though you have spent some part
of it under the same roof with the archbishop, and are not unac-
quainted with the clergy of his diocese.
" But to return from this digression ; . . . I met this Signor Zen-
dono, who said to me slyly as he passed, ' Take comfort, my girl ; I
am sensibly affected with your wretched case.' He said no more,
and went on his way, leaving me to make my own comments on so
concise and general a text. As he looked like a good man, and
there was no positive evidence to set against his looks, I was sim-
pleton enough to fancy that he had taken the trouble of inquiring
why I was shut up, and meant, not finding me so atrocious a culprit
as to deserve such shameful insults, to take my part with the cor-
regidor. But I was not up to the tricks of the Biscayan ; he had a
much longer head. He was turning over in his mind the scheme of
an elopement, and made the proposal to me in profound privacy
some days afterwards. ' My dear Laura,' said he, ' your sufferings
have taken such deep possession of my mind that I have determined
to end them, I am perfectly aware that my own ruin is involved
in the measure, but have no choice when the tender passion drivea
874 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
To-morrow morning do I intend to take you out of prison, and con-
duct you in person to Madrid. No sacrifice is too great for the
pleasure of being your deliverer.'
" 1 was very near fainting with surprise and joy at this promise
of Zeudcno, who, concluding from my acknowledgments that my
very life depended on ray rescue, had the eiFrontery to carry me off
next day in the face of the whole town, by the following device:
He told the lady abbess that he had orders to take me before the
corregidor, who was at his country box a few miles off; and, with-
out betraying himself by a single change of countenance, packed
me off with him for my companion, in a post-chaise drawn by two
good mules, which he had bought for the occasion. Our only
attendant was the driver, a servant of his own, and entirely devoted
to the steward by stronger ties than those of gratitude. We began
bowling away, not in the direction of Madrid, as I had taken for
granted, but towards the frontiers of Portugal, whither we got in
less time than it took the corregidor of Zamora to receive the depo-
sition of our flight, and uncouple his pack or set them barking at
our heels.
"Before we entered Braganza, the Biscayan made me put on
man's clothes, with which he had taken the precaution of providing
himself Reckoning on me as being fairly launched in the same
boat with him, he said to me in the inn where we put up, * Lovely
Laura, do not take it unkindly of me to have brought you into
Portugal The corregidor of Zamora will make our own country
too hot to hold us, for in his eyes we are two criminals, under the
weight of whose enormities it is not for Spain to groan. But we
may set his malice at defiance in this distant realm, though at the
present conjuncture under the dominion of the Spanish monarchy.
At least we shall stand a better chance for safety here than at home.
League your fortunes with those of a man who would follow you in
prosperity or in adversity through the Avorld. Let us fix our resi-
dence at Coimbra. There I will get employed as a spy for the
Inquisition ; under the cover of that formidable tribunal— a refresh-
ing shade for us, but Cimmerian darkness to its victims — our days
will glide smoothly on in ease and pleasure, and we shall fatten on
the spoil of religious delinquency.'
"A proposal so much to the point gave me to understand that I
had to do with a knight who had other motives for officiating as the
guardian of distressed damsels besides the honor of chivalry. I saw
at once that he reckoned much on my gratitude, and still more on
my distress. Nevertheless, though these two pleas were almost
equally eloquent in his favor, I rejected his addresses with disdain.
The reason was that there were two advocates still more eloquent on
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 375
the side of a refusal — a certainty that he was disagreeable, and a
strong suspicion that he was poor. But when he returned to the
charge, and offered to say the grace of matrimony before he fell to,
proving to me at the same time, by the undeniable evidence of cash
in hand, that his stewardship had enabled him to live in clover for
a long time to come, the truth must come out in spite of blushes ;
my heart was softened, and my ears unstopped. I was dazzled by
the gold and jewels which he laid out in burning row before me, and
became a living monument, in my own person, that miraculous
transformations are effected by the power of pelf as well as by the
wand of love. My Biscayan became, by little and little, quite
another sort of man in my eyes. His tall body and bare bones were
plumped up into a shapely and commanding figure; his cadaverous
complexion was improved into a manly brown ; even that look, as
if butter would not melt in his mouth, was no longer hypocrisy, but
a staid and decent respect. Having made these discoveries, I ac-
cepted his hand without any material abhorrence, and he plighted
the usual vows in all due form. After this, like a good wife, I kept
the spirit of contradiction as much as possible under the hatches.
We resumed our journey, and Coimbra soon received a new family
within its walls.
" My husband stocked my wardrobe as became my sex and station,
making me a present of several diamonds, among which I fixed ray
eye on that of Don Felix Maldonado. There were no further docu-
ments wanting to give a shrewd guess whence came all the precious
stones I had seen, and to be morally certain that I had not married
a troublesomely nice observer of the eighth article in the decalogue.
Yet considering myself as the mainspring of all his little deviations
from the strict law of propriety, it was not for me to judge harshly
on that point. A woman can always find a palliation for the mis-
deeds which are set in motion by the power of her own beauty. But
for that, he certainly would have ranked no higher than one of the
wicked in my estimation.
" I had no great reason to complain of him for two or three
months. His attentions were always polite and kind, amounting
apparently to a sincere and tender affection. But no such thing I
These proofs of wedded love, this worshipping with the body, and
endowing with the worldly goods, were all but a copy of his coun-
tenance ; for the cheating fellow meant, as men serve a cucumber,
to throw me away on the first opportunity. One morning, at my
return from mass, I found nothing at home but the bare walls ; the
movables, not excepting my own apparel, every stick and every
thread had been carried off. Zendono and his faithful servant had
taken their measures so adroitly, that in less than an hour the house
876 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
had been completely gutted; so that with nothing but the gown
upon my back, and Don Felix's ring, as good luck would have it,
on my finger, here stood I, like another Ariadne, abandoned by the
ungrateful rifler of my eflfects as well as of my charms. But you
may take my word for it, I did not beguile the sense of my misfor-
tune in tragedy, elegy, scene individable, or poem unlimited. I rather
fell upon my knees, and blessed my guardian angel for having de-
livered me from a rascal who must sooner oi; later fall into the hands
of justice. The time we had passed together I considered in the
light of a dead loss, and my spirits were all on the alert to make up
for it. If I had been inclined to stay in Portugal, as a hanger-on
to some woman of fashion, I should have found no difficulty in
suiting myself; but whether it was patriotism, or some astrological
conjunction, preparing a better fortune for me under the influence
of the planets, my whole heart was bent on getting back into Spain.
I applied to a jeweller, who valued my diamond and gave me cash
for it, and then took my departure with an old Spanish lady who was
going to Seville in a post-chaise.
" This lady, whose name was Dorothea, had been to see a relation
settled at Coimbra, and was on her return to Seville, where she
lived. There was such a sympathy between us as made us fast
friends on the very first day of our acquaintance ; and the attach-
ment grew so close while we travelled together, that the lady in-
sisted, at our journey's end, on my making her house my home. I
had no reason to repent having formed such a connection. Never
was there a woman of a more charming character. One might still
conclude, from the turn of her countenance, and from the spirit not
yet quenched in her eyes, that in her youth the catgut of many a
guitar must have been fretted under her window. As a proof of
this, she had had ipany trials what a state of widowhood was ; her
husbands had all been of noble birth, and her finances were flourish-
ing on the accumulation of her several jointures.
"Among other admirable qualities, she had that of not visiting
severely the frailties of her own sex. When I let her into the
secret of mine, she entered so warmly into my interests as to speak
of Zendono with more sincerity than good manners. * What grace-
less fellows these men are !' said she, in a tone from which one might
infer that she had met with some light-fingered steward in the pass-
ing of her accounts. ' They would not be worth picking off" a dung-
hill, if one could do without them ! There is a large fraternity of
Borry scoundrels in the world, who make it their sport to gain the
hearts of women, and then desert them. There is, however, one
consoling circumstance, my dear child. According to your account,
you are by no means bound fast to that faithless Biscayan. If your
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 377
marriage with him wa3 sufficiently formal to save your credit with
the world, on the other hand, it was contracted loosely enough to
admit of your trying your luck at a better match, whenever an op-
portunity may fall in your way.'
"I went out every day with Dorothea, either to church or to
visit among her friends ; both likely occasions of picking up an ad-
venture ; so that I attracted the notice of several gentlemen. There
were some of them who had a mind to feel how the land lay. They
made their proposals to my venerable protectress ; but these had not
wherewithal to defray the expenses of an establishment, and those
were mere unfledged boys under age— an insuperable objection,
which left me very little merit in turning a deaf ear to them.
One day a whim seized Dorothea and me to go and see a play at
Seville. The bills announced a favorite and standard piece: El
Embaxador de Si-mismo, written by Lope de Vega.
" Among the actresses who came upon the stage, I discovered one
of my old cronies. It was impossible to have forgotten Phenicia,
that bouncing, good-humored girl whom you have seen as Flori-
monde's waiting-maid, and have supped with more than once at
Arsenia's. I was aware that Phenicia had left Madrid about two
years ago, but had never heard of her turning actress. I longed so
earnestly to embrace her, that the piece appeared quite tedious.
Perhaps, too, there might be some fault in those who played it, as
being neither good enough nor bad enough to afford me entertain-
ment. For as to my own temper, which is that of seeking diversion
wherever I can find it, I must confess that an actor supremely
ridiculous answers my purpose just as well as the most finished
performer of the age.
"At last, the moment I had been waiting for being arrived,
namely, the dropping of the curtain on this favorite and standard
piece, we went — for my widow would go with me — behind the
scenes, where we caught a glimpse of Phenicia, who was playing oflF
the amiable and unaffected simpleton, and listening with all the
primness of studied simplicity to the sott chirping of a young stage-
finch, who had evidently suffered himself to be caught in the
birdlime of her professional or meretricious talents. No sooner did
her eye meet mine than she quitted him with a genteel apology,
ran up to me with open arms, and lavished upon me all the demon-
strations of strong attachment imaginable. Our expressions of joy
at this unexpected meeting were indeed reciprocal ; but neither time
nor place admitting of any very copious indulgence in the privilege
of asking questions, we adjourned till the following day, with a
promise of renewing our mutual inquiries thick and threefold,
under the shelter of her friendly roof.
378 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
"The pleasure of talking is the inextinguishable passion of
woman, coeval with the act of breathing. I could not get a wink
of sleep all night for the burning desire of having a grapple with
Phenicia, and closing in upon her in the conflict of curiosity.
Witness, all the powers who preside over tattling, whether the love
of lying in bed — another passion of woman — prevented me from
getting up and flying to my appointment as early as good manners
would allow. She lived with the rest of the company in a large
ready-furnished lodging. A female attendant who met me at
entrance, on being requested to show me Phenicia's apartment, led
the way up stairs to a gallery, along which were ranged ten or
twelve small rooms, divided only by partitions of deal boards, and
inhabited by this merry band. My conductress knocked at a door,
which Phenicia opened ; for her tongue was cruelly on the fidget to
be let loose, as well as my own. We allowed ourselves no time for
the impertinent ceremonies which usually usher in a visit, but
plunged at once into a most furious career of loquacity. It seemed
as if we should have a tight bout together. There were so many
interrogatories to be bandied backwards and forwards, that question
and answer rebounded like tennis-balls, only with tenfold velocity.
" After having related our adventures each to other, and inquired
into the actual condition of affairs, Phenicia asked me how I meant
to provide for myself My reply was, that I purposed, while wait-
ing for something better, to get a situation with some young lady
of quality. 'For shame!' exclaimed my other self; 'you shall not
think of such a thing. Is it possible, my darling, that you should
not yet be disgusted with menial service? Are you not heartily
sick of knocking under to the good or ill pleasure of others, of being
cap-in-hand to all their caprices, and after all to be entertained
with that unchangeable tune called a scolding — in a woi'd, to be a
downright slave? Why do not you follow my example, and turn
your thoughts towards the stage ? Nothing can be better suited to
people of parts, when they happen not to be equally favored in the
articles of wealth and birth. It is a sphere of life which holds a
middle rank between the nobility and mere tradespeople — a profes-
sion exempted from all troublesome restraint, and raised far above the
common prejudices of humble and decent society. The public are
our bankers, and we draw upon them at sight. We live in a con-
tinual round of ecstasy, and spend our money to the full as fast as
we earn it.
"'The theatre* — for she went on at a great rate — 'is favorable
above all to women. When I lived with Florimonde, — it is a
misery to think of it, — I was reduced to take up with the super-
numeraries of the prince's company ; not a single man of fashion
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 379
paid the least attention to my figure. How came that about?
Because they never got a glimpse of it. The finest picture
in the world may escape the admiration of the connoisseurs, if it is
not placed in a proper light. But since I have been suitably
framed and varnished, which could only happen in consequence of
a theatrical finish, what a revolution ! The finest young fellows of
all the towns we pass through are shufliing at my heels. An
actress, therefore, has all her little comforts about her, without
deviating from the line of her duty. If she is discreet, — by which
we mean that she should not admit more than one lover into her
good graces at a time, — her exemplary conduct is cried up as
without a parallel. She is called a very Niobe for her coldness ;
and when she changes her favorite, she is reprimanded as slightly
by the world as a lawful widow who marries a' few weeks too soon
after the death of her first husband. If, however, the widow should
look for luck in odd numbers, and take to herself a third, the con-
tempt of all mankind is poured down on her devoted head ; she is
considered as a monster of indelicacy ; whereas we happier women
are so much the more in vogue, as we add to the list of our favor-
ites. After having been served up to a hundred different lovers,
some battered nobleman finds us a dainty dish for himself
" ' Do you mean that by way of news V interrupted I, as she uttered
the last sentiment. ' Do you imagine me to be ignorant of these
advantages? I have often conned them over in my mind, and they
are but too alluring to a girl of my character. The attractions of
the stage would be irresistible, were inclination all. But some little
talent is indispensable, and I have not a spark. I have sometimes
attempted to rehearse passages from plays before Arsenia. She was
never satisfied with my performance, and that disgusted me with the
profession.' 'You are easily put out of conceit with yourself,' re-
plied Phenicia. ' Do not you know that these great actresses are
very apt to be jealous ? With all their vanity, they are afraid lest
some newer face should put them out of countenance. In short, I
would not be guided by Arsenia on that subject ; she did not give
her real opinion. In my judgment, and without meaning to flatter
you, the theatre is your natural element. You have admirable
powers, free and graceful action, a fine-toned voice, volubility of
declamation, and such a turn of countenance ! Ah, you little
rogue I you will bring all the young fellows behind the scenes, if
once you take to the boards !'
"She plied me with many flattering compliments besides, and
made me recite some lines, only by way of enabling me to form my
own judgment as to my theatrical genius. Now that she was my
censor, it seemed quite another thing. She praised me up to the
380 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
skies, and held all the actresses in Madrid as mere makeweights in
the scale. After such a testimony, it would have been inexcusable
to hesitate about my own merit. Arsenia stood attainted, nay, con-
victed of jealousy and treachery. There could be no question about
my being everything that waa delightful. Two players happened
to drop in by accident, and Phenicia prevailed on me to repeat the
lines I had already spouted; they fell into a sort of enthusiastic
trance, whence they were roused only to launch out fervently in
admiration of me. Literally, had they all three been flattering me
up for a wager, they could not have adopted a more extravagant
scale of panegyric. My modesty was not proof against such praise
from those who were themselves praised. I began to think myself
really worthy of something ; and now was my whole heart and soul
turned towards a theatrical life.
" ' Since this is the case,' said I to Phenicia, ' the affair is deter-
mined. I will follow your advice, and engage in your company, if
they will accept me.' My friend, transported with joy at this pro-
posal, clasped me in her arms ; and her two companions seemed no
less delighted than herself at finding me in that humor. It was
settled that I should attend the theatre on the following day, in the
morning, and exhibit before the collected body the same sample of
my talent as I had just displayed. If I had bought golden opinions
from Phenicia and her friends, the actors in general were still more
complimentary in, their judgment after I had recited but twenty
lines before them. They gave me an engagement with the utmost
willingness. Then there was nothing thought of but my first ap-
pearance. To make it as striking as possible, I laid out all the
money remaining from the sale of ray ring; and though my funds
would not allow of being splendid in my dress, I discovered the art
of substituting taste for glitter, and converting my poverty into a
new grace.
" At length I came out. What clapping of hands ! what general
admiration ! It would he speaking faintly, my friend, to tell you
downright that the spectators were all in an ecstasy. You must
have heard with your own ears what a noise I made at Seville, to
believe it. The whole talk of the town was about me, and the house
was crowded for three weeks successively ; so that this novelty re-
stored the theatre to its popularity, when it was evidently beginning
to decline. Thus did I come upon the stage, and step into public
favor at once. But to come upon the stage with such distinction is
generally a prelude to coming upon the town ; or at least to putting
one's self up at auction to the best bidder. Twenty sparks of all
ages, from seventeen to seventy, were on the list of candidates, and
would have worn me in my newest gloss. Had I followed my own
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 881
inclination, I should have chosen the youngest, and the most of a
lady's man ; but in our profession, interest and ambition must bear
the sway, till we have feathered our nest ; that is as invariable a
rule as any in the prompt-book. On this principle, Don Ambrosio
de Nisana, a man in whom age and uglir^^ss had done their worst,
but rich, generous, and one of the most powerful noblemen in Anda-
lusia, had the refusal of the bargain. It is true that he paid hand-
somely for it. He took a fine house for me, furnished it in the
extreme of magnificence, allowed me a man cook of the first emi-
nence, two footmen, a lady's maid, and a thousand ducats a month
fcfr my personal expenses. Add to all this a rich wardrobe, and an
elegant assortment of jewels.
" What a revolution in my affairs ! My poor brain was completely
turned. I could not believe myself to be the same person. No
wonder if girls soon forget the meanness and misery whence some
man of quality has rescued them in a fit of caprice. My confession
shall be without reserve : public applause, flattering speeches, buzzed
about on every side, and Don Ambrosio's passion kindled such a
flame of self-conceit as kept me in a continual ferment of extrava-
gance. I considered my talents as a patent of nobility. I put on
the woman of fashion, and becoming as chary as I had hitherto been
lavish of my amorous challengers, determined to look no lower than
dukes, counts, or marquises.
" My lord of Nisana brought some of his friends to sup with me
every evening. It was my care to invite the best companions
among our actresses, and we wore away a good part of the night in
laughing and drinking. I fell in very kindly with so delicious a
life ; but it lasted only six months. Men of rank are apt to be
whimsical : but for that fault, they would be too heavenly. Don
Ambrosio deserted me for a young coquette from Granada, who had
just brought a pretty person to the Seville market, and knew how to
set off" her wares to the best advantage. But I did not fret after him
more than four-and-twenty hours. His place was supplied by a
young fellow of two-and-twenty, Don Lewis d'Alcacer, with whom
few Spaniards could vie in point of face and figure.
" You will ask me, doubtless, — and it is natural to do so, — why I
selected so green a sprig of nobility for my paramour, when my own
experience so strongly dissuaded from such a choice. But, besides
that Don Lewis had neither father nor mother, and was already in
possession of his fortune, you are to know that there are no disa-
greeable consequences attaching to any but girls in a servile condi-
tion of life, or those unfortunate loose fish who are game for every
sportsman. Ladies of our profession are privileged persons ; we let
off our charms like a rocket, and are not answerable for the damage
382 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
where they fall, — so much the worse for those families whose heirs
we set in a blaze.
" As for Alcacer and myself, we were so strongly attached to one
another, that I verily believe Love never yet did such execution as
when he took aim at us^ two. Our passion was of such a violent
nature that we seemed to be under the influence of some spell.
Those who knew how well we were together, thought us the happi-
est pair in the world ; but we, who knew best, found ourselves the
most miserable. Though Don Lewis had as fine an outside as ever
fell to the lot of man, he was at the same time so jealous that there
was no living for vexation at his unfounded surmises. It was ot
no use, knowing his weakness and humoring it, to lay an embargo
on my looks, if ever a male creature peeped into harbor ; his suspi-
cious temper, seldom at a loss for some crime to impute, rendered
my armed neutrality of no avail. Our most tender moments had
always a spice of wrangling ; there was no standing the brunt of it.
Patience could hold out no longer on either side, and we quarrelled
more peaceably than we had loved. Could you believe that the last
day of our being together was the happiest? Both being equally,
wearied out by the perpetual recurrence of unpleasant circum-
stances, we gave a loose to our transports when we embraced for the
last time. We were like two wretched captives, breathing the fresh
air of liberty after all the horrors of our prison-bouse.
"Since that adventure, I have worn a breastplate against the
little archer. No more amorous nonsense for me, at least to a
troublesome excess ! It is quite out of our line to sigh and
complain like Arcadian shepherdesses. Those should never give
way to a passion in private who hold it up to ridicule before the
public.
" While these events were passing in my domestic establishment,
Fame had not hung her trumpet breathless on the willows; she
spread it about universally that I was an inimitable actress. That
celestial tattler, though bankrupt times out of number, contrives to
revive her credit ; the comedians of Granada therefore wrote to offer
me an engagement in their company ; and by way of evidence that
the proposal was not to be scorned, they sent me a statement of
their daily receipts and disbursements, with their terms, which
seemed to be advantageous. That being the case, I closed, though
grieved in my heart to part with Phenicia and Dorothea, whom I
loved as well as woman is capable of loving woman. I left the first
laudably employed in melting the plate of a little haggling gold-
smith, whose vanity so far got the better of his avarice, that he must
needs have a theatrical heroine for his mistress. I forgot to tell you
that on my translation to the stage, from mere whim I changed the
ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS. 383
name of Laura to that of Estella, and it was under the latter name
that I took this engagement at Granada.
" My first appearance was no less successful here than at Seville,
and I soon felt myself wafted along by the sighs of my admirers.
But resolving not to favor any except on honorable terms, I kept a
guard of modesty in my intercourse with them, which threw dust in
their eyes. Nevertheless, not to be the dupe of virtues which pay
very indifferently, and were not exactly at home in their new man-
sion, I was balancing whether or not to take up with a young fellow
of mean extraction, who had a place under government, and
assumed the style of a gentleman in virtue of his office, with a good
table and handsome equipage, when I saw the Marquis de Marialva
for the first time. This Portuguese nobleman, travelling over Spain
from mere curiosity, stopped at Granada as he passed through it.
He came to the play. I did not perform that evening. His exami-
nation of the actresses was very particular, and he found one to his
liking. Their acquaintance commenced on the very next day, and
the definitive treaty was very nearly concluded when I appeared
upon the stage. What with some personal graces, and no little
affectation in setting them off, the weathercock veered about all on
a sudden ; my Portuguese was mine, and mine only, till death do us
part. Yet, since the truth must be told, I knew perfectly that my
sister of the sock and buskin had entrapped this nobleman, and
spared no pains to chouse her out of her prize ; to my success you
are yourself a witness. She bears me no small grudge on that
account ; but the thing could not be avoided. She ought to reflect
that it is the way of all female flesh— that the dearest friends play
off the same trick upon one another, and put a good face upon it
into the bargain."
CHAPTER VIII.
RECEPTION OP GIL BLAS AMONG THE PLAYERS AT GRANADA ; ANOTHER
OLD ACQUAINTANCE UP IN THE GREEN-ROOM.
JUST as Laura was finishing her story, there came in an old
actress who lived in her neighborhood, and was come to take her
to the theatre as she passed by. This venerable tutelary of the stage
was admirably fitted to play some superannuated strumpet among
the heathen goddesses in a pantomime. My sister was not in the
least remiss in introducing her brother to that stale old harridan^
384 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
whereupon a profusion of compliments was bandied about on both
sides.
I left them together, telling the steward's relict that I would join
her again at the playhouse, as soon as I had sent my baggage to the
Marquis de Marialva's, to whose residence she directed me. First I
went to the room I had hired, whence, after having settled with my
landlady, I repaired with a porter who carried my'luggage to a large
ready-furnished house, where my new master was quartered. At
the door I met his steward, who asked me if I was not the lady
Estella's brother. I answered in the affirmative. " Then you are
welcome, Signor Cavalier," replied he. " The Marquis de Marialva,
whose steward I have the honor to be, has commissioned me to re-
ceive you properly. There is a room got ready for you ; I will show
you the way to it, if you please, that you may be quite at home."
He took me up to the top of the house, and thrust me into so small
a room, that a very narrow bed, a chest of drawers, and two chairs
completely filled it This was my apartment. " You will not have
much spare room," said my conductor, " but, as a set-ofF, I promise
you that you shall be superbly lodged at Lisbon." I locked up my
portmantua in the wardrobe, and put the key in my pocket, asking
at the same time what was the hour of supper. The answer
was, that his lordship seldom supped at home, but allowed each
servant a monthly sum for board wages. I put several other ques-
tions, and learned that the marquis's people were a happy set of
idle fellows. After a conversation short and sweet, I left the
steward to go and look for Laura, reflecting, much to my own
satisfaction, on the happy omens I drew from the opening of my
new situation.
As soon as I got to the playhouse door, and mentioned my name
as Estella's brother, there was free admission at once. You might
liave observed the forwardness of the guards to make way for me,
just as if I had been one of the most considerable noblemen in
Granada. All the supernumeraries, doorkeepers, and receivers of
checks whom I encountered in my progress made me their very best
bows. But what I should like best to give the reader an idea of is
the serious reception which the merry vagrants gave me in the
green-room, where I found the whole dramatis personae readv
dressed, and on the point of drawing up the curtain. The actors
and actresses, to whom Laura introduced me, fell upon me without
mercy. The men were quite troublesome with their greetings ; and
the women, not to be outdone, laid their plastered faces alongside of
mine, till they covered it with a villainous compound of red and
white. No one choosing to be the last in making me welcome, they
all paid their compliments in a breath, -ffiolus himself, answering
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 385
from all the points of the compass at once, would not havB been a
match for them • but my sister was ; for the loan of her tongue was
always at the service of a friend, and she brought me completely
out of debt.
But I did not get clear off with the squeezes of the principal per-
formers. The civilities of the scene-painters, the band, the prompter,
the candle-snuflfer, and the call-boy were to be endured with pa-
tience ; all the understrappers in the theatre came to see me run the
gantlet. One would have supposed one's self in a foundling hos-
pital, and that they had none of them ever known what sort of
animals brothers and sisters were.
In the meantime the play began. Some gentlemen, who were
behind the scenes, then ran to get seats in the front of the house :
for my part, feeling myself quite at home, I continued in conversa-
tion with those of the actors who were waiting to go on. Among
the number there was one whom they called Melchior. The name
struck me. I looked hard at the person who answered to it, and
thought I had seen him somewhere. At last I recollected that it
was Melchior Zapata, a poor strolling player, who has been de-
scribed, in the first part of this true history, as soaking his crusts
in the pure element.
I immediately took him aside, and said, " I am much mistaken if
you are not that Signor Melchior with whom I had the honor of
breakfasting one day by the margin of a clear fountain, between
Valladolid and Segovia. I was with a journeyman barber. We had
some provisions with us which we clubbed with yours, and all three
partook of a little rural feast, to which wit and anecdote gave addi-
tional relish." Zapata bethought him for a minute or two, and then .
answered, "You tell me of a circumstance which often since came
across my mind. I had then just been trying my fortune at Madrid,
and was returning to Zamora. I recollect perfectly that my affairs
were a little out at elbows." " I recollect it too," replied I, " by the
token of a doublet which you wore, lined with play-bills. Neither
have I forgotten that you complained of having a wife cursed with
incorruptible chastity." " O ! that misfortune has found its remedy
long ago," said Zapata, shaking his ears. " By all the powers of
womanhood, the jade has effectually reformed that virtue and given
me a warmer lining to my doublet."
I was going to congratulate him on his wife's having shown so
much sense, when he was obliged to leave nie and go on the stage.
Being curious to know what sort of an animal his wife was, I went
up to an actor and desired him to point her out. He did so, saying
at the same time, "There she is ; it is Narcissa — the prettiest of all
our women except your sister." I concluded that this must be the
25
3g6 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
actress in whose favor the Marquis de Marialva had declared before
meeting with his Estella; and my conjecture was but too correct.
After the play, I attended Laura home, where I saw several cooks
preparing a handsome entertainment. "You may sup here," said
she. " I will do no such thing," answered I : " the marquis perhaps
will like to be alone with you." " Not at all," replied she ; " he is
coming with two of his own friends and one of our gentlemen ;
vou will just make the sixth. You know that in our free and easy
way there is no impropriety in secretaries sitting down at table with
their masters." "Very true," said I; "but it is rather to soon to
assume the privilege of a favorite. I must first get employed in
some confidential commission, and then lay in my claim to that
honorable distinction." Judging it to be so best, I went out of
Laura's house, and got back to my inn, whither I reckoned on
repairing every day, since my master had no regular establish-
ment.
CHAPTER IX.
AN KXTEAORDINAEY COMPANION AT SXJPPEB ; AND AN ACCOUNT OF
THEIR CONVERSATION.
I REMARKED in the coffee-room a sort of an old monk, hab-
ited in coarse gray cloth, at supper, quite alone in a corner. I
went and sat opposite to him, out of curiosity ; we exchanged a
civil bow, and he showed himself to be quite as well bred as I was,
notwithstanding my lay education. My commons were brought me,
and I fell to it with a very catholic appetite. While I was eating,
my tongue was mute, but my eyes glanced by snatches towards this
singular character, and always caught his at the same employment.
Liking better to stare than be stared at, I addressed my speech to
him thus : " Pray, father, have we ever by any chance met anywhere
but here ? You peer at me as if you scarcely knew whether I was
an acquaintance or a stranger." He answered gravely, " If I look
at you with fixed attention, it is only to admire the prodigious
variety of adventures which are chronicled in the features of your
face." "It should seem," said I, in a joking tone, "as if your rev-
erence were something of a physiognomist." "Far more deeply
imbued in science than a mere physiognomist," answered the"monk,
"I found prophecies on my observations which have never been
belied by the event. My skill in palmistry is no less, and I will
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 387
set my oracles against the surest of antiquity, after comparing the
inspection of the hand with that of the face."
Though this old man had all the appearance of profound wisdom,
his talk was so like that of a madman, that I could not help laugh-
ing at him outright. So far from being offended at my want of man-
ners, he smiled at it, and went on to the following effect, after run-
ning his eye round the coffee-room, to be assured that there were no
listeners : " I am not surprised at finding you so prejudiced against
two sciences which pass at this time of day for mere frivolity ; the
long and painful study they require disheartens the learned, who
turn their backs upon them, and then swear that they are fables,
out of disgust at having missed their attainment. For my part, I am
not to be frightened by the darkness which envelops them, any more
than by the difficulties which are perpetual stumbling-blocks in the
pursuit of chemical discoveries, and in the marvellous art of trans-
muting baser metals into gold.
" But I do flatter myself," pursued he, looking steadfastly at me,
" that I am addressing a young gentleman of good sense, to whom
my systems will not appear altogether in the light of idle dreams.
A sample of my skill will dispose you better than the most subtile
arguments to pass a favorable judgment on my pretensions." After
talking in this manner he drew from his pocket a vial full of a
lively-looking red liquor, on which he expatiated thus : " Here is
an elixir which I have distilled this morning from the juices of cer-
tain plants ; for I have employed almost my whole life, like Demo-
critus, in finding out the properties of simples and minerals. You
shall make trial of its virtue. The wine we are drinking with our
supper is very bad ; henceforth it will become excellent." At the
same time he put two drops of his elixir into my bottle, which
made my wine more delicious than the choicest vintage of Spain.
The marvellous strikes the imagination ; and when once that
faculty is enlisted, judgment is turned adrift. Delighted with so
glorious a secret, and persuaded that he must have outdeviled the
devil before he could have got at it, I cried out in a paroxysm of
admiration, " O reverend father 1 prithee forgive your servant if he
took you at first for an old blockhead. I now abjure my error.
There is no need to look further to be assured that it depends only
on your own will to turn an iron bar into a wedge of gold in the
twinkling of an eye. How happy should I be were I master of
that admirable science !" " Heaven preserve you from ever acquiring
it," interrupted the old man, with a deep sigh. "You know not,
my son, what a fatal possession you covet. Instead of envying,
rather pity me, for having taken such infinite pains to be made un-
happy. I am always disturbed in my mind. I fear a discovery ;
888 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
and then perpetual imprisonment would be the reward of all my
labors. In this apprehension I lead a vagabond life, sometimes dis-
guised as a priest or monk, sometimes as a gentleman or a peasant.
Where is the benefit of knowing how to mauulacture gold on such
terms ? Are not the goods of this world downright misery to those
who cannot enjoy them in tranquillity?"
" What you say appears to me very sensible," said I to the philo-
sopher. " There is nothing like living at one's ease. You have
rid me of all hankering after the philosopher's stone. I will rest
satisfied with learning from you my future destiny." " With all my
heart, my good lad," answered he. " I have already made my
remarks upon your features; now let me see your hand." I gave it
him with a confidence which will do my penetration but little
credit in the esteem of some readers. He examined it very atten-
tively, and then pronounced, as in a rapture of inspiration, " Ah 1
what transitions from pain to pleasure, and from pleasure to pain !
What a whimsical alternation of good and evil chances ! But you
have already experienced the largest share of your allotted reverses.
You have but few more tides of misfortune to stem, and then a
great lord will contrive for you an eligible fate, which shall not be
subject to change."
After having assured me that I might depend on his prediction,
he bade me farewell, and went out of the inn, leaving me in deep
meditation on the things I had just heard. There could be no
doubt of the Marquis de Marialva being the great lord in question ;
and consequently nothing appeared more within the verge of possi-
bility than the accomplishing of the oracle. But though these had
not been the slightest likelihood, that would have been no hinderance
to giving the impostor monk unbounded credit, since his elixir had
transmuted my sour incredulity into the most tractable digestiou of
his falsehoods. That nothing might be wanting on my side to play
into the hands of my foreboded luck, I determined to attach myself
more closely to the marquis than I had ever done to any of my
masters. Having taken this resolution, I went home in unusually
high spirits: never did foolish woman descend in better humor
from the garret of another foolish woman who had told her fortune.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 389
CHAPTER X.
THE MABQUIS DE MAKIALVA GIVES A COMMISSION TO GIL BLAS. HO^
THAT FAITHFUL SECBETaKY ACQUITS HIMSELF OF IT.
THE marquis was not yet returned from his theatrical party,
and I found his upper servants playing at cards in his apart-
ments while they were waiting for his arrival. I got to be sociable
with them, and we amused ourselves with jocular conversation till
two o'clock in the morning, when our master arrived. He was a
little surprised at seeing me, and said, with an air of kindness,
which made me conclude that he came home very well satisfied
with his evening, " How is this, Gil Bias ? Are you not gone to
bed yet?" I answered that I wished to know first whether he had
any commands for me. " Probably," replied he, " I may have a
commission to give you to-morrow morning; but it will be time
enough then to acquaint you with my wishes. Go to your own
room, and henceforward remember that I dispense with your at-
tendance at bed-time; my other servants are sufficient for that
occasion."
After this hint, which was much to my satisfaction in the main,
since it spared me a slavery which I should have felt very un-
pleasantly at times, I left the marquis in his apartment, and
withdrew to my garret. I went to bed. Not being able to sleep, it
seemed good to follow the counsel of Pythagoras, and to examine
all the actions of the day by the test of reason; to reprimand
severely what had been done amiss, and if anything had been done
well, to rejoice in it.
On looking into the day-book of my conscience, the balance was
not sufficiently in my favor to keep me in good humor with myself.
I felt remorse at having lent myself to Laura's imposition. It was
in vain to urge, in self-defence, that I could not, with any decency,
give the lie to a girl who had no object in view but to do me a
pleasure, and that I was in some sort under the necessity of
becoming an accomplice in the fraud. This was a paltry excuse in
the darkness of the night, for I pleaded against myself that at all
events the matter should be pushed no farther, and that it was the
summit of impudence to remain upon the establishment of a noble-
man whose confidence I so ill repaid. In short, after a severe trial,
it was agreed in my own breast that I was very little short of an
arrant knave.
But to have done with the morality of the act, and pass on to the
probable issue, it was evidently playing a desperate game, to cozen
1.
390 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
a man of consequence, who might be enabled, as an instrument for
the visitation of my sins perhaps, to detect the imposture in its
very infancy. A reflection at once so prudent and so virtuous acted
as a refrigerator on my spirits ; but visions of pleasure and of in-
terest soon raised them again above the freezing point. Besides,
the prophecy of the man with the elixir would have been enough to
put me in heart once more. I therefore gave myself up to the
indulgence of the most agreeable fancies. All the rules of arith-
metic, from simple addition to compound interest, were set in array,
to cast up what sura my salary would amount to at the end of ten
years' service. Then there was a large allowance for presents and
gratuities from my master, whose liberal disposition according
admirably with my liberal desires, my imagination grew quite
fantastical, and extended the landmarks of my fortune over in-
numerable acres of unsubstantial territory. Sleep overtook me in
the calculation, and raised a magnificent aerial mansion on the
estate, where a new race of grandees was to originate. I got up the
next morning about eight o'clock to go and receive my patron's
orders} but as I was opening my door to go out, what was my sur-
prise at meeting him in his wrapping-gown and night-cap ! He
was quite alone. " Gil Bias," said he, " on parting with your sister
last night, I promised to pass this morning with her; but an affair
of consequence will not admit of my keeping my word. Go and
assure her from me that I am deeply mortified at the disappoint-
ment, but that I shall certainly sup with her to-night. That is not
all," added he, putting a purse into my hands and a little shagreen
case set round with diamonds ; " carry her my portrait, and keep
this purse of fifty pistoles, which I give you as a mark of my early-
conceived friendship." I took the picture in one hand, and in the
other the purse to which I was so little entitled. I put my best leg
foremost in my way to Laura, muttering to myself, in the transports
of excessive joy, "Good! the prophecy is accomplished in the
twinkling of an eye. What a windfall, to be the brother of a girl
so full of beauty and attraction ! It is a pity the credit attached to
the relationship is not commensurate with the lucre and the com-
fort."
^ Laura, unlike most women in her profession, had a habit of early
rising. I caught her at her toilet, where, while waiting for her
illustrious foreigner, she was engrafting on her natural beauty all
the adventitious charms which the cosmetic art could supply.
" Lovely Estella !" said I, on accosting her, " thou absolute load-
stone of the tremontanes, I may now sit down at table with my
master, since he has honored me with a commission which gives me
that prerogative, and which I have just come t« fulfill. He cannot
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 391
have the pleasure of waiting on you this morning, as he had pur-
posed, but to make you amends for the disappointment, he will sup
here this evening, and sends you his picture, which, to all appear-
ance, is enclosed in something more valuable than itself."
I put the box into her hand at once, and the lively sparkling of
the brilliants which encompassed it made her eyes sparkle and her
mouth water. She opened it out of mere curiosity, looked carelessly
at the painting, as people perform a duty for which they have little
relish, then shut it, and once more fell greedily on the jewelry.
Their beauty made her eloquent, and she said to me, with the smile
of a satirist, " These are copies which those mercenary things called
actresses value much more highly than originals."
I next acquainted her that the generous Portuguese, when giving
me charge of the portrait, recommended it to my care by a purse of
fifty pistoles. " I beg you will accept of my congratulations," said
she ; "this nobleman begins where it is even uncommon for others
to leave off." " It is to you, my divine creature," answered I, " that
this present is owing; the marquis only made it on the score of
natural affection." " I could be well pleased," replied she, " that he
were to make you a score such presents every day. I cannot express
in what extravagance you are dear to me. From the first moment
of our meeting, I became attached to you by so strong a tie as time
has not been able to dissolve. When I lost you at Madrid, I did not
despair of finding you again ; and yesterday, on your appearance, I
received you like a deodand. In a word, my friend. Heaven has
created us for one another, You- shall be my husband; but we
must get plenty of money in the first instance. I shall just lend
myself out to three or four silly fellows more, and then you may
live like a gentleman on your means."
I thanked her in the most appropriate terms for such an instance
of extreme condescension on my behalf, and we got insensibly into
a conversation which lasted till noon. At that hour I withdrew, to
go and give my master an account of the manner in which his pre-
sent was received. Though Laura had given me no instructions
thereupon, I was not remiss in composing a fine compliment on my
way, with which I meant to launch out on her part; but it was just
so much flash in the pan. For trhen I got home, the marquis wns
gone out, and the Fates had decreed that I should never see him
more, for reasons which will be methodically stated in the succeed-
ing chapter.
!;i^SS£K?
392 ADVEXTUliES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER XI.
A THUNDERBOLT TO GIL BLAS.
I REPAIRED to my inn, where, meeting with two men of com-
panionable talents, I dined and sat at table with them till the
play began. We parted ; they as their business and desire pointed
them, and, for niy own part, my bent was towards the theatre. It
may be proper to observe, by the way, that I had all possible reason
to be in a good humor. The conversation with my chance com-
panions had been joyous in the extreme ; the color of my fortune
was gay and animating ; yet for all that, I could not help giving
way to melancholy, without either knowing why or being able to
reason myself out of it. It was, doubtless a prophetic warning of
the misfortune which threatened me.
As I entered the green-room, Melchior Zapata came up, and told
me in a low voice to follow him. He led me to an unfrequented
part of the house, and opened his business thus: — "Worthy sir, I
make it a point of conscience to give you a very serious warning.
You are aware that the Marquis de Marialva had at first taken a
fancy to Narcissa, my wife; he had even gone so far as to fix a day
for trying the relish of my rib, when that cockatrice Estella con-
trived to flyblow the bill of fare, and transfer the banquet to her
own untainted charms. Judge, then, whether an actress can be
gulled instead of gulling, and preserve the sweetness of her temper.
My wife had taken it deeply to heart, and there is no species of
revenge to which she would not have recourse. A fine opportunity
has offered. Yesterday, if you recollect, all our supernumeraries
were crowding together to see you. The deputy candle-snuffer told
some of the inferior comedians that he recollected you perfectly
well, and that you might be anything but Estella's brother.
" This report," added Melchior, " came to Narcissa's ears to-day.
She lost no time in questioning the author, and that grub of the
interior stood to the whole story. He says that he knew you as
Arsenia's servant, when Estella waited on her at Madrid under the
name of Laura. My wife, full of. glee at this discovery, means to
acquaint the Marquis de Marialva with it when he comes to the
play this evening, so take your measures accordingly. If you are
not Estella's brother in good earnest, I would advise you as a friend,
and on the score of old acquaintance, to make your escape while
your skin is whole. Narcissa, satisfied in her tender mercy with
only one victim, and that of her own sex, has allowed me to give
you this notice, that you may outrun your ill luck."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 393
It would have been waste of words to press the subject farther. I
returned thanks for the caution to this fretter of his hour, who saw
by my terrified aspect that I was not the man to give the deputy
candle-snuffer the lie. I did not feel the least temptation to carry
my dangerous valor such a length. I had not even the heart to go
and bid farewell to Laura, for fear she should insist on my keeping
up the farce. I could easily conceive that so excellent an actress
might get out of the scrape with flying colors ; but there seemed to
be nothing for me short of a swingeing castigation ; and I was not
so far gone in love as to stand by ray sweetheart at the risk of my
own person. I thought of nothing but a precipitate retreat with
my household gods, or rather goods, if such a trumpery collection
of individual property might be called so. I disappeared from the
play-house in the twinkling of an eye; and, in less time than it
would have taken to confess my sins, was my portmanteau carried
off and safely lodged with a muleteer who was to set out for Toledo
at three o'clock next morning. I could have wished myself already
with the Count de Polan, whose hospitable roof seemed my only
safe asylum. But I was not there yet ; and it was impossible to
think without dread of the time remaining to be passed in a town
where I was afraid they would hunt me out without giving me a
night's law.
The smell of supper drew me to my inn notwithstanding; though
I was as uneasy as a debtor who knows that a writ is out against
him. My stomach, I believe, was not sufficiently well knit that
evening for my supper to play its part as it should do. The miser-
able sport of fear, I watched all the people who came into the
coffee-room, and whenever by chance they carried a gallows in their
physiognomy, — which is no uncommon ensign in such places of re-
sort,— I shuddered with horrid forebodings. After having supped
the supper of the damned, I got up from table and returned to my
carrier's house, where I threw myself on some clean straw till it was
time to set out.
My patience was well tried during that interval ; for a thousand
unpleasant thoughts attacked me in all directions. If I dozed now
and then, the enraged marquis stood before me, pounding Laura's
fair face to a jelly with his fist, and turning her whole house out at
window ; or, to come nearer home, I heard him giving directions
for my death under the operation of a cudgel. At such a vision I
started out of my sleep, and waking, which is usually so pleasant
after a frightful dream, inspired me with more horror than even the
fictions of my entranced fancy.
Happily the muleteer delivered me from so dire a purgatory, by
coming to acquaint me that his mules were ready. I was immedi-
394 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
ately on my legs, and set out radically cured, for which Heaven has
my best thanks, of Laura and the occult sciences. As we got far-
ther from Granada, my mind recovered its tone. I began chatting
with the muleteer, laughed at his droll stories, and insensibly lost
all my apprehensions. I slept undisturbed at Ubeda, where we lay
the first night, and on the fourth day we got to Toledo. My first
care was to inform myself of the Count de Polan's residence,
whither I repaired under the full persuasion that he would not
suflTer me to lodge elsewhere. But I reckoned without my host.
There was no one at home but a person to take care of the house,
who told me that his master was just gone to the castle of Leyva,
having been sent for on account of Seraphina's dangerous illness.
The count's absence was altogether unexpected : here was no
longer any inducement to stay at Toledo, and all my plans were
changed at once. Finding myself so near Madrid, I resolved to go
thither. It came into my head that I might make my way at court,
where talents of the first order, as I had heard, were not absolutely
necessary to fill situations of the first consequence. On the very
next morning I took advantage of back carriage, to be set down in
the renowned capital of Spain. Fortune took me kindly by the
hand, and introduced me to a higher cast of parts than those I had
hitherto filled.
CHAPTER XII.
GIL BLAS TAKES LODGINGS IK A READY-FUENISHED HOUSE. HE GETS
ACQUAINTED WITH CAPTAIN CHINCHILLA.
ON my first arrival at Madrid, I fixed my headquarters in a
lodging-house, where resided, among other persons, an old
captain, who was come from the distant part of New Castille, to
solicit a pension at court, and he thought his claims but too well
founded. His name was Don Annibal de Chinchilla. It was not
without much staring that I saw him for the first time. He was a
man of about sixty, of gigantic stature, and of anatomical leanness.
His whiskers were like brushwood, fencing off the two sides of his
face as high as his temples. Basides that, he was short in his reck-
oning by an arm and a leg; there was a vacancy for an eye, which
Polypheme would have supplied as he did, had patches of green silk
been then in the fashion ; and his features were hacked suflSciently
to illustrate a treatise of geometry. With these exceptions, his con-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 895
figuration was much like that of another man. As to his mental
qualities, he was not altogether without understanding ; and what
he wanted in quickness he made up by gravity. His principles
were rigid in the extreme ; and it was his particular boast to be
delicate on the point of honor.
After two or three interviews, he distinguished me by his confi-
dence. I soon got into all his personal history : he related on what
occasions he had left an eye at Naples, an arm in Lombardy, and a
leg in the Low Countries. The most admirable circumstance in all
his narratives of battles and sieges was, that not a single feature of
the swaggerer peeped out ; not a word escaped him to his own honor
and glory ; though one could readily have forgiven him for making
some little display of the half which was still extant of himself, a.s
a set-oflF against the dilapidations which had deducted so largely
from the usual contexture of a man. Officers who return from their
campaigns without a scratch upon their skins, or a love-lock out of
place, are not always so humble in their pretensions.
But he told me that what gave him most uneasiness was the
having wasted a considerable portion of his private fortune on
military objects, so that he had not more than a hundred ducats a
year left — a poor establishment for such a pair of whiskers, a gentle-
man's lodging, and an amanuensis to multiply memorials by whole-
sale. " For, in point of fact, my worthy friend," added he, shrugging
his shoulders, " I present one, with a blessing on my endeavors, every
day, and the last meets with the same attention as the first. You
would say that it was an even bet between the prime minister and
me, which of us two shall be tired first, the memorialist or the re-
ceiver of the memorials. I have often had the honor,, too, of ad-
dressing the king on the same subject ; but the rector and his curate
say grace in the same key; and in the meantime my castle of Chin-
chilla is falling to ruin for want of necessary repairs."
"Faint heart never won f^jr lady," said I, most wisely, to the
captain ; " you are perhaps on the eve of finding all your marches
and countermarches repaid with usury." " I must not flatter myself
with that pleasing expectation," answered Don Annibal. " It is but
three days since I spoke to one of the minister's secretaries; and if
I am to tnist his representations, I have only to hold up my head
and look big." " What, then, did he say to you ?" replied I. " Had
those poor dumb mouths, your wounds, no eloquence to wring a
hireling pittance for their profuse expense of blood?" "You shall
judge for yourself," resumed Chinchilla. "This secretary told me
in good plain terms, ' My honest friend, you need not boast so much
of your zeal and your fidelity ; you have only done your duty in ex-
posing yourself to danger for your country. Naked glory is the
396 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
true and honorable recompense of gallant actions, and as such is
the prize at which a Spaniard aims. You therefore argue on false
principles, if you consider the bounty you solicit as a debt. In case
it should be granted, you will owe that favor exclusively to the royal
goodness, which, in its extreme condescension, requites those of its
subjects who have served the state valiantly.' Thus you see," pur-
sued the captain, " that if I had a hundred lives, they are all pledged,
and that I am likely to go back as hungry as I came."
A brave man in distress is the most touching object in this world.
I exhorted him to stick close, and offered to write his memorials out
fair for nothing. I even went so far as to open my purse to him,
and to beg it as a favor that he would draw upon me for whatever
he wanted. But he was not one of those folks who never wait to be
asked twice on such occasions. So much the reverse, that with a
commendable delicacy on the subject, he thanked me for my kind-
ness, but refused it peremptorily. He afterwards told me that, for
fear of sponging upon any one, he had accustomed himself, by little
and little, to live with such sobriety, that the smallest quantity of
food was sufficient for his subsistence ; which was but too true. His
daily fare was confined to vegetables, by dint whereof his component
parts were confined to skin and bone. That he miglit have no wit-
nesses how ill he dined, he usually shut himself up in his chamber
at that meal. I prevailed so far with him, however, by repeated
entreaties, as to obtain that we should dine and sup together; then,
undermining his pride by little indirect artifices of compassion, I
ordered more provision and wine than I could consume to my own
share. I pressed him to eat and drink. At first he made difficulties
about it; but in the end there was no resisting my hospitality.
After a time, his modesty becoming fainter as his diet was more
flush, he helped me off with my dinner and lightened my bottle
almost without asking.
One day, after four or five glasses, when his stomach had renewed
its intimacy with a more generous system of feeding, he said to me
with an air of gayety, " Upon my word, Signor Gil Bias, you have
very winning ways with you; you make me do just whatever you
please. There is something so hearty in your welcome as to relieve
me from all fear of trespassing on your generous temper." My
captain seemed at that moment so entirely to have got rid of his
bashfulness, that if I had been in the humor to have seized the
lucky moment, and to have pressed my purse once more on his
acceptance, I am much mistaken if he would have refused it. I
did not put him to the trial, but rested satisfied with having made
him my messmate, and taken the trouble not only to copy out his
memorials, but to assist him in their composition. By dint of having
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 397
written homilies out fair, I had learned the knack of phraseology,
and was become a sort of. author. The old officer, on his side, had
some little vanity about writing well. Both of us thus contending
for the prize, the bursts of eloquence would have done honor to the
most celebrated professors of Salamanca. But it was in vain that
we sat on opposite sides of the table, and drained our genius to the
very dregs, to nourish the flowers of rhetoric in these memorials ;
you might as well have planted an orange-grove on the sea-beach.
In whatever new light we placed Don Annibal's services, it was all
the same at court ; the connoisseurs were decided about their merit ;
so that the battered veteran had no reason to sing the praises of that
spirit which leads officers on to spend their family estates in the
service. In the virulence of his spleen he cursed the planet under
which he was born, and sent Naples, Lombardy, and the Low Coun-
tries to the devil.
That his mortification might be pressed down and running over,
it happened to his face. one day that a poet, introduced by the Duke
of Alva, having recited a sonnet before the king on the birth of an
infanta, was gratified with a pension of five hundred ducats. I
believe the lop-limbed captain would have gone raving mad at it, if
I had not taken some pains to recompense his spirit. " What is the
matter with you?" said I, seeing him quite beside himself. "There
is nothing in all this which ought to go so terribly against the
grain. Ever since Mount Parnassus swelled above the subject
plain, have not poets pleaded the privilege of laying princes under
contribution to their muse ? There is not a crowned head in Chris-
tendom that has not substituted a pensioned laureate for the house-
hold fool of less refined times. And between ourselves, this species
of patronage, for the most part, galloping down full drive to poster-
ity on the saddle of Pegasus, raises a hue and cry in honor of royal
munificence; but bounty to persons who are lost in a crowd, however
deserving, adds nothing to the bulk or stature of posthumous renown.
Augustus must have drained his treasury by gratuities, and yet how
few of the names on his pension list have come down to us I But
distant ages shall be informed, as we are, in all the hyperbole of
poetic diction, that his benefits descended on Virgil like the rain
from heaven, whose drops arithmetic has no combination to count,
no principles by which to reason on their number."
But let me talk ever so classically to Don Annibal, there was a
confounded acidity in that sonnet which curdled all the milky in-
gredients of his moral composition ; it was impossible to chew,
swallow, and digest such food with human organs; and he was fully
determined to give the matter up at once. It seemed right, never-
theless, by way of playing for his last stake, to present one more
398 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
memorial to the Duke of Lerma, and if that failed there was an end
of the game. For this purpose went together to the prime minister's.
There we met a young man, who, after saluting the captain, said to
him in a tone of affection, " My old and dear master, is it your own
self that I see? What business brings you to this mart of favor?
If you have occasion for any one to speak a good word for you, do
not spare my lungs ; they are entirely at your service." " How is
this, Pedrillo?" answered the officer; "to hear you talk, it should
seem as if you held some important post in this house." " At least,"
replied the young man, " I have influence enough here to put an
honest rustic like you into the right train." " That being the case,"
resumed the captain, with a smile, " I place myself under your pro-
tection." "I accept the pledge," rejoined Pedrillo. "You have
only to acquaint me with your particular taste, and I engage to give
you a savory slice out of the ministerial pasty."
We had no sooner opened our minds to this young fellow, so full
of kind assurances, than he inquired where Don Annibal resided ;
then, promising that we should hear from him on the following day,
he vanished without informing us what he meant to do, or even
telling us whether he belonged to the Duke of Lerma's household.
I was curious to know what this Pedrillo was, whose turn of mind
appeared to be so brisk and active. " He is a brave lad," said the
captain, " who waited on me some years ago, but finding me out at
elbows, went away in search of a better service. There was no
offence to me in all that; it is very natural to change when one can-
not be worse off". The creature is pleasant enough, not deficient in
parts, and happy in a spirit of intrigue which would wheedle with
the devil. But notwithstanding all his fine pretence, I am not san-
guine in my reckoning on the zeal he has just testified for me."
" Perhaps," said I, " there may be some plausibility in his designs.
Should he be a retainer, for example, to any of the duke's principal
officers, it will be in his power to serve you. You have lived too
long in the world not to know that in great houses everything is
done by party and cabal ; that the masters are governed by two or
three upper servants about their persons, who in their turn are gov-
erned by that multitude of menials attendant upon them."
On the next morning we saw Pedrillo at our breakfast-table.
' Gentlemen," said he, " if I did not explain myself yesterday as to
my means of serving Captain Chinchilla, it was because we were not
in a place where such a communication could be made with safety.
Besides, I was disposed to ascertain whether the thing was feasible
before you were made parties in it. Understand, then, that I am
the confidential servant of Signor Don Rodrigo de Calderona, the
Duke of Lerma's first secretary. My master, who is much addicted
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 399
to women, goes almost every evening to sup with a little Arragonian
nightingale, whom he keeps in a cage near the purlieus of the court.
She is quite a young girl from Albarazin, a most lovely creature.
She has some wit as well as beauty, and sings enchantingly ; they
call her the Spanish Siren. I am the bearer of some tender inquiries
every morning, and am just come from her. I have proposed to her
to pass off Signor Don Annibal for her uncle, and the object of the
forgery is to engage her lover in his interests. She is very willing
to lend her aid in the business. Besides some little commission to
which she looks forward on the profits, it will tickle her vanity to be
taken for the niece of a military man."
Signor de Chinchilla looked very grim at this suggestion. He
declared his extreme abhorrence of becoming a party concerned in
a mere swindling trick, and still more of adopting a female adven-
turer, no better than she should be, into his family, and thus cast-
ing a stain upon its immaculate purity. It was not only for himself
that he felt all this soreness ; there was a recoil of ignominy on his
ancestors, which would lay their honors level with the dust. This
morbid delicacy seemed out of season to Pedrillo, who could not
help expressing his contempt of it thus : " You must surely be out of
your wits to take the matter up on that footing. A fine market you
bring your morals to, you dictators from the plough, with your ridi-
culous squeamishness ! Now you seem a good sensible man," appeal-
ing to me as he spoke these last words. " Can you believe your ears
when you hear such scruples advanced ? Heaven defend us I At
court, of all the places in the world, to look at morals through a
microscope I Let Fortune come under what haggard form she may,
they hug her in their arms, and swear she is a beauty."
My way of thinking was precisely with Pedrillo, and we dinned
it so stoutly into both the captain's ears, as to make him the Spanish
Siren's uncle against nature and inclination. When we had so far
prevailed over his pride, we all three set about drawing up a new
memorial for the minister, which was revised, with a copious inter-
lacing of additions and corrections. I then wrote it out fair, and
Pedrillo carried, it to the Arragonian chantress, who that very
evening put it into the hands of Signor Don Rodrigo, telling her
story so artlessly that the secretary, really supposing her the cap-
tain's niece, promised to take up his case. A few days afterwards
we reaped the fruits of our little project. Pedrillo came back to
our house with the lofty air of a benefactor. " Good news," said he
to Chinchilla. " The king is going to make a new grant of officers,
places, and pensions ; nor will your name be forgotten in the list.
But I am specially commissioned to inquire what present you
purpose making to the Spanish Siren, for the piper must be paid.
400 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
As to myself, I vow and protest that I will not take a farthing ; the
pleasure of having contributed to patch up my old master's broken
fortunes is more to me than all the ingots of the Indies. But it is
not precisely so with our nymph of Albarazin ; she has a little
Jewish blood to plead when the Christian precept of loving her
neighbor as herself is preached up to her. She would pick her
own natural father's pocket ; so judge you whether she would be
above making a bargain with a travelling uncle."
" She has only to name her own terms," answered Don Annibal.
"Whatever my pension may be, she shall have the third of it
annually if she pleases ; I will pledge my word for it : and that
proportion ought to satisfy her craving, if his Catholic Majesty had
settled his whole exchequer on me." " I would as soon take your
word as your bond, for my own part," replied the nimble-footed
messenger of Don Eodrigo ; " I know that it will stand the assay ;
but you have to deal with a little creature who knows herself, and
naturally supposes that she knows all the rest of the world by the
same token. Besides, she would like better to take it in the lump ;
two-thirds to be paid down in ready money." "Why, how the
devil does she mean that I should get the wherewithal?" bawled
the captain, in a quandary. " Does she take me for an auditor of
public accounts, or treasurer to a charity ? You cannot have made
her acquainted with my circumstances." " Yes, but I have,"
replied Pedrillo ; " she knows very well that you are poorer than
Job ; after what she has heard from me she could think no other-
wise. But do not make yourself uneasy ; my brain is never at a
loss for an expedient. I know an old scoundrel of a usurer, who
will take ten per cent, if he can get no more. You must assign
your first year's pension to him, in acknowledgment for a like
valuable consideration from him, which you will in point of fact
receive, only deducting the above-mentioned interest. As to
security, the lender will take your castle at Chinchilla, for want of
better ; there will be no dispute about that."
The captain declared his readiness to accept the terms, in case
of his being so fortunate as to possess any beneficial interest in the
good things to be given away the next morning. It happened
accordingly. He got a government with a pension of three hundred
pistoles. As soon as the news came, he signed and sealed as
required, settling his little concerns in town, and went off again for
New Castille with a balance of some few pistoles in his favor.
I^5ia^^
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 401
CHAPTER XIII.
GIL BLAS COMES ACROSS HIS DEAR FRIEND FABRICIO AT COTTBT.
GREAT ECSTASY ON BOTH SIDES.
I HAD contracted a habit of going to the royal palace every
morning, where I lounged away two or three good hours in
seeing the good people pass to and fro ; but their aspect was less
imposing there than in other places, as the lesser stars turn pale la
the presence of the sun.
One day, as I was walking back and fore, and strutting about the
apartments, making about as wise a figure there as my neighbors, I
spied out Fabricio, whom I had left at Valladolid in the service of a
hospital director. It surprised me not a little that he was chatting
familiarly with the Duke of Medina Sidonia and the Marquis of
Santa Cruz. Those two noblemen, if my senses did not deceive
me, were listening with admiration to his prattle. To crown the
whole, he was as handsomely dressed as a grandee.
Surely I must be mistaken ! thought I. Can this possibly be the
son of Nunez the barber? More likely it is some young courtier
who bears a strong resemblance to him. But my suspense was of no
long duration. The party broke up, and I accosted Fabricio. He
knew me at once ; took me by the hand, and after pressing through
the crowd to get out of the precincts, said, with a hearty greeting,
" My dear Gil Bias, I am delighted to see you again. What are
you doing at Madrid? Are you still at service? Some place
about the court, perhaps ? How do matters stand with you ? Let
me into the history of all that has happened to you since your
precipitate flight from Valladolid." " You ask a great many ques-
tions in a breath," replied I ; " and we are not in a fit place for
story -telling." " You are in the right," answered Tie ; " we shall be
better at home. Come, I will show you the way j it is not far hence.
I am quite my own master, with all my comforts about me; per-
fectly easy as to the main chance, witlj a light heart and a happy
temper ; because I am determined to see everything on the bright
side."
I accepted the proposal, and Fabricio escorted me. We stopped
at a house of magnificent appearance, where he told me that he
lived. There was a court to cross ; on one side it had a grand stair-
case leading to a suite of state apartments, and on the other a small
flight, dark and narrow, whither we betook ourselves to a residence
elevated in a different sense from what he had boasted. It consisted
of a single room, which my contriving friend had divided into four
26
402 ADVENTURES OF GIJL BIAS.
by (leal partitions. The first served as an antechamber to the
second, where he lay ; of the third he made his closet, of the last his
kitchen. The chamber and antechamber were papered with maps,
and many a sheet of philosophical discussion ; nor was the furniture
by any means unsuitable to the hangings. There was a large
brocade bed, much the worse for wear; tawdry old chairs, with
coarse yellow coverings, fringed with Granada silk of the same
color ; a table with gilt feet, and a cloth over it that once a.spired to
be red, bordered with tinsel and embroidery, tarnished by that old
corroder Time ; also an ebony cabinet, ornamented with figures in
a clumsy taste of sculpture. Instead of a convenient desk,, he had a
small table in his closet, and his library was made up with some
few books, and a great many bundles of paper arranged on shelves,
one above the other, the whole length of the wall. His kitchen, too
modest to put the rest of the establishment out of countenance,
exhibited a frugal assortment of earthenware and other necessary
implements of cookery.
Fabricio, when he had allowed me leisure to philosophize on his
domestic arrangements, begged to know my opinion of his apart-
ments and his housekeeping, and whether I was not enchanted with
them. "Yes, beyond all manner of doubt," answered I, with a
roguish smile. " You must have applied your wits to a good pur-
pose at Madrid, to have got so well accoutred. Of course you have
some post." " Heaven preserve me from anything of the sort I" re-
plied he. " My line of life is far above all political situations. A
man of rank, to whom this house belongs, has given me a room in
it, whence I have contrived to piece out a suite of four, fitted up in
such taste as you may see. I devote my time only to employments
that are suited to my fancy, and never feel what it is to want."
" Explain yourself more intelligibly," said I, interrupting him.
"You set me all agog to be let into your little arrangements."
" Well, then," said he, " I will rid you of that devil curiosity at
once. I have commenced author, have plunged headlong into the
ocean of literature ; verse and prose run equally glib ; in short, I am
, a Jack of all trades to the Muses."
" What ! you bound in solemn league and covenant to Apollo ?"
exclaimed I, with most intolerable laughter. "Nothing under a
prophet could ever have anticipated this. I should have been less
surprised at any other transformation. What possible delights have
you had the ingenuity to detect in the rugged landscape of Par-
nassus ? It would seem as if the laborers there have a very poor
taking in civil life, and feed on a coarse diet without sauce." "Out
upon you !" cried he, in dudgeon at the hint. " You are talking of
those paltry authors whose works and even their persons are under
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 403
the thumb of booksellers and players. Is it any wonder that writers
under such circumstances should be held cheap? But the good
ones, my friend, are on a better footing in the world, and I think it
may be affirmed, vanity apart, that my name is to be found iu their
list." " Undoubtedly," said I, "talents like, yours are convertible
to every purpose ; compositions from such a pen are not likely to be
insipid. But I am on the rack to know how this rage for fencing
with inky weapons could have seized you."
" Your wonder and alarm has mind in it," replied Nunez. " I
was so well pleased with my situation in the service of Signor
Emanuel Ordonnez, that I had no hankering after any other. But
my genius, like that of Plautus, being too high-minded to contract
itself wibhin the sphere of menial occupations, I wrote a play, and
got it acted by a company then performing at Valladolid. Though
it was not worth the paper it was scrawled upon, it had more suc-
cess than many better pieces. Hence I concluded that the public
was a silly bird, and would hatch any eggs that were put under it.
That modest discovery, with the consequent madness of incessant
composition, alienated my affections from the hospital. The love
of poetry being stronger than the desire of accumulation, I deter-
mined on repairing to Madrid, as the centre of everything distin-
guished, to form my taste in that school. The first thing was to
give the governor warning, who parted with me to his own great
sorrow, from a sort of affection, the result of similar propensities.
'Fabricio,' said he, 'what possible ground can you have for dis-
content V ' None at all, sir,' I replied ; ' you are the best of all
possible masters, and I am deeply impressed with your kind treat-
ment ; but you know one must follow whithersoever the stars
ordain. I feel the sacred fire within me, on whose aspiring element
my name is to be wafted to posterity.' ' What confounded non-
sense !' rejoined the old fellow, whose ideas were all pecuniary.
' You are already become a fixture in the hospital, and are made of
a metal which may be easily manufactured into a steward, or, by
good luck, even into a governor. You are going to give up the
great object of life, and to flutter about its frippery. So much the
worse for you, honest friend !'
" The governor, seeing how fruitless it was to struggle with my
fixed resolve, paid me my wages, and made me a present of fifty
ducats as an acknowledgment of my services. Thus, between this
supply and what I had been able to scrape together out of some
little commissions which were assigned to me from an opinion of
disinterestedness, I was in circumstances to make a very pretty
appearance on my arrival at Madrid, which I was not negligent iu
doing, though the literary tribe in our country are not over-puncti-
404 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
lious about decency or cleanliness. I soon got acquainted with Lope
de Vega, Cervantes, and the whole set of them ; but though they
^ere fine fellows, and thought so by the public, I chose for my
model, in preference, Don Lewis de Gongora, the incomparable, a
young bachelor of Cordova, decidedly the first genius that ever
Spain produced. He will not suffer his works to be printed during
his lifetime, but confines himself to a: private communication among
his friends. What is very remarkable, nature has gifted him with
the uncommon talent of succeeding in every department of poetry.
His principal excellence is in satire; there he outshines himself. He
does not resemble, like Lucilius, a muddy stream with a slimy
bottom, but is rather like the Tagus, rolling its transparent waters
over a golden sand."
" You give a fine description of this bachelor," said I to Fabricio ;
" and undoubtedly a character of such merit must have attracted an
infinite deal of envy." " The whole gang of authors," answered he,
"good and bad equally, are open-mouthed against him. 'He deals
in bombast,' says one ; * aims at double meaning, luxuriates in meta-
phor, and affects transposition.' ' His verses,' says another, ' have
all the obscurity of those which the Salian priests used to chant in
their processions, and which nobody was the wiser for hearing.'
There are others who impute it to him as a fault to have exercised
his genius at one time in sonnets or ballads, at another in play-
writing, in heroic stanzas, and in minor efforts of wit alternately, as
if he had madly taken upon himself to eclipse the best writers each
in their own favorite walk. But all these thrusts of jealousy are
successfully parried, where the muse, which is their mark, becomes
the idol of the great and of the multitude at once.
" Under so able a master did I serve my apprenticeship ; and,
vanity apart, the preceptor was reflected in the disciple. So happily
did I catch his spirit, that by this time he would not be ashamed to
own some of my detached pieces. After his example, I carry my
goods to market at great houses, vhere the bidding is eager, and the
sagacity of the bidders not difficult to match. It is true that I have
a very insinuating talent at recitation, which places my compositions
in no disadvantageous light. In short, I am the dear delight of the
nobility, and live in the most particular intimacy with the Duke of
Medina Sidonia, just as Horace used to live with his jolly compan-
ion Maecenas. By such conjuration ajid mighty magic have I won
the name of author. You see the method lies within a narrow com-
pass. Now, Gil Bias, it is your turn to deliver a round unvarnished
tale of your exploits."
On this hint I spake ; and, unlike most narrators, gave all the im-
portant particulars, passing lightly over minute and tiresome cir-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 406
cumstances. The action of talking, long continued, puts one in
mind of dining. His ebony cabinet, which served for larder, pantry,
and all possible uses, was ransacked for napkins, bread, a shoulder
of mutton far gone in a decline, with its last and best contents, a
bottle of excellent wine ; so that we sat down to table in high spirits,
as friends are wont to do after a long separation. "You observe,"
said he, " this free and independent manner of life. I might find a
plate laid for me every day, if I chose it, in the very first houses ;
but, besides that the muse often pays me a visit and detains me
within doors, I have a little of Aristippus in my nature. I can pass
with equal relish from the great and busy world to my retreat, from
all the resources of luxury to the simplicity of my own frugal
board.."
The wine was so good that we encroached upon a second bottle.
As a relish to our fruit and cheese, I begged to be favored with the
sight of something, the offspring of his inspired moments. He im-
mediately rummaged among his papers, and read me a sonnet with
much energy of tone. Yet, with all the advantage of accent and
expression, there was something so uncouth in the arrangement as
to bafiie all conjecture about the meaning. He saw how it puzzled
me. ^' This sonnet then," said he, " is not quite level to your com-
prehension ! Is not that the fact?" I owned that I should have
preferred a construction somewhat less forced. He began laughing
at my rusticity. " Well then," replied he, " we will say that this
sonnet would confuse clearer heads than thine ; it is all the better
for that. Sonnets, odes, in short, all compositions which partake of
the sublime, are of course the reverse of the simple and natural ;
they are enveloped in clouds, and their darkness constitutes their
grandeur. Let the poet only fancy that he understands himself, no
matter whether his readers understand him or not." " You are
laughing at me, my friend," said I, interrupting him. " Let poetry
be of what species it may, good sense and intelligible diction are
essential to its powers of pleasing. If your peerless Gongora is not
a little more lucid than yourself, I protest that his merit will never
pass current with me. Such poets may entrap their own age into
applause, but will never live beyond it. * Now let me have a taste of
vour prose."
Nunez showed me a preface which he meant to prefix to a dra-
matic miscellany then in the press. He insisted on having my
opinion. " I like not your prose one atom better than your verse,"
said I. " Your sonnet is a roaring deluge of emptiness ; and as for
your preface, it is disfigured by a phraseology stolen from languages
yet in embryo, by words not stamped in the mint of general use, by
all the perplexity of a style that does not know what to make of
406 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
itself. In a word, the composition is altogether a thing of your own.
Our classical and standard books are written in a very different
manner."' " Poor tasteless wretch 1" exclaimed Fabricio. " You
are not aware that every prose writer who aspires to the reputation
of sentiment and delicacy in these days, affects this style of his own,
these perplexities and innovations which are a stumbling-block to
you. There are five or six of us, determined reformers of our lan-
guage, who have undertaken to turn the Spanish idiom topsy-turvy ;
and with a blessing on our endeavors, we will pull it down and build
it up again, in defiance of Lope de Vega, Cervantes, and all the
host of wits who cavil at our new modes of speech. Our party is
strongly supported in the fashionable world, and we have laid
violent hands upon the pulpit.
"After all," continued he, "our project is commendable; for, to
speak without prejudice, we have ten times the merit of those nat-
ural writers, who express themselves just like the mob. I cannot
conceive why so many sensible men are taken with them. It was
all very well at Athens and at Rome, in a wild and undistinguishing
democracy; and on that principle only could Socrates tell Alci-
biades that the last appeal was to the people in all disputes about
language. But at Madrid there is a polite and a vulgar usage, so
that our courtiers talk in a different tongue from their tradesmen.
You may assure yourself that it is so ; in fine, this newly-invented
style is carrying everything before it, and turning old nature out of
doors. Now I will explain to you by a single instance the difference
between the elegance of our diction and the flatness of theirs. They
would say, for example, in plain terms, ' Ballets incidental to the
piece are an ornament to a play ;' but in our mode of expression, we
say more exquisitely, ' Ballets incidental to the piece are the very
life and soul of the play.' Now observe that phrase, life and soul.
Are you sensible how glowing it is, at the same time how descrip-
tive, setting before you all the motions of the dancers, as on an in-
tellectual stage ?"
I broke in upon my reformer of language with a burst of laugh-
ter. "Get along with you, Fabricio," said I ; "you are a coxcomb
of your own manufacture,' with your affected finery of phrase."
"And you," answered he, " you are a blockhead of nature's clumsy
moulding, with your starch simplicity." He then went on taunting
me with the Archbishop of Granada's angry banter on my dismis-
sion : " Get about your business ! Gro and tell my treasurer to pay
you a hundred ducats, and take my blessing in addition to that sura.
God speed you, good master Gil Bias ! I heartily pray that you may
do well in the world ! There is nothing to stand in your way but a
little better taste." I roared out in a still louder explosion of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 407
laughter at this lucky hit ; and Fabricio, easily appeased on the
score of impiety, as manifested in the opinion expressed concerning
his writings, lost nothing of his pleasant and propitious temper.
We got to the bottom of our second bottle, and then rose from the
table in fine order for an adventure. Our first intention was to see
what was to be seen upon the Prado ; but passing in front of a
liquor-shop, it came into our heads that we might as well go in.
The company was in general tolerably select at this house of call.
There were two distinct apartments, and the pastime in each was
of a very opposite nature. One was devoted to games of chance or
skill, the other to literary and scientific discussions ; and there were
at that moment two clever men by profession handling an argument
most pertinaciously, before ten or twelve auditors deeply interested
in the discussion. There was no occasion to join the circle, because
the metaphysical thunder of their logic made itself heard at a more
respectful distance : the heat and passion with which this abstract
controversy was managed made the two philosophers look little bet-
ter than madmen A certain Eleazar used to cast out devils by tying
a ring to the nose of the possessed : had these learned swine been
ringed in the same manner, how many little imps would have taken
wing out of their nostrils 1 "Angels and ministers of grace defend
us," said I to my companion ; " what contortions of gesture, what
extravagance of elocution I One might as well argue with the town
crier. How little do we know our natural calling in society!"
" Very true indeed," answered he ; " you have read of Novius, the
Roman pawnbroker, whose lungs went as far beyond the rattle of
chariot wheels as his conscience beyond the rate of legal interest;
the Novii must certainly have been transplanted into Spain, and
these fellows are lineal descendants. But the hopeless part of the
case is, that though our organs of sense are deafened, our under-
standings are not invigorated at their expense." We thought it best
to make our escape from these braying metaphysicians, and by that
prudent motion to avoid a headache which was just beginning to
annoy us. We went and seated ourselves in a corner of the other
room, whence, as we sipped our refreshing beverage, all comers and
goers were obnoxious to our criticism. Nunez was acquainted with
almost the whole set. "Heaven and earth!" exclaimed he, "the
clash of philosophy is as yet but in its beginning ; fresh reinforce-
ments are coming in on both sides. Those three men, just on the
threshold, mean to let slip the dogs of war. But do you see those
two queer fellows going out? That little swarthy, leather-com-
plexioned Adonis, with long, lank hair, parted in the middle with
mathematical exactness, is Don Juliano de Villanuno. He is a
young barrister, with more of the prig than the lawyer about him.
408 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
A party of us went to dine with him the other day. The occupation
we caught him in was singular enough. He was amusing himself
in his office with making a tall greyhound fetch and carry the briefs
in the causes which were so unfortunate as to have him retained ;
and of course the canine amicus curia set his fangs indifferently into
the flesh of plaintiff or defendant, tearing law, equity, precedent,
and principle into shreds. That licentiate at his elbow, with jolly,
pimple-spangled nose and cheeks, goes by the name of Don Cheru-
bino Tonto. He is a canon of Toledo, and the greatest fool that was
ever suffered to walk the earth without a keeper. And yet he arrays
his features in that sort of not quite unmeaning smile, that you
would give him credit for good sense as well as good humor. His
eye has the look of cunning if not of wisdom, and his laugh too
much of sarcasm for an absolute idiot. One would conclude that he
had a turn for mischief, but kept it down from principle and feeling.
If you wish to take his opinion upon a work of genius, he will hear
it read with so grave and rapt a silence, as nothing but deej) thought
and acute mental criticism could justify ; but the truth is, that he
comprehends not one word, and therefore can have nothing to say.
He was of the barrister party. There were a thousand good things
said, as there always must be in a professional company. Don Cher-
ubino added nothing to the mass of merriment, but looked such
perfect approbation at those who did, was so tractable and compli-
mentary a listener, that every man at table placed him second in
the comparative estimate of merit."
" Do you know," said I to Nunez, " who those two fellows are,
with dirty clothes and matted hair, their elbows on that table in the
corner, and their cheeks upon their hands, whiffing foul breath into
each other's nostrils as they lay their heads together?" He told
me that by their faces they were strangers to him ; but that by
physical and moral tokens they could only be coffee-house politi-
cians, venting their spleen against the measures of government.
" But do look at that spruce spark, whistling as he paces up and
down the other room, and balancing himself alternately on one toe
and on the other. That is Don Augustino Moreto, a young poet
sufficiently of nature's mint and coinage to pass current, if flatterers
and sciolists had not debased him into a mere coxcomb by their
misplaced admiration. The man to whom he is going up with that
familiar shake by the hand, is one of the set who write verses and
then call themselves poets ; who claim a speaking acquaintance with
the muses, but never were of their private parties."
"Authors upon authors, nothing but authors!" exclaimed he,
pointing out two dashing blades. "One would think they had
made an appointment on purpose to pass in review before you.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 409
Don Bernardo Deslenguado and Don Sebastian of Villa Viciosa !
The first is a vinegar-flavored vintage of Parnassus, a satirist by
trade and company ; he hates all the world, and is not liked the
better for his taste. As for Don Sebastian, he is the milk and
honey of criticism ; he would not have the guilt of ill-nature on
his conscience for the universe. He has just brought out a comedy
without a single idea, which has succeeded with an audience of
tantamount ideas ; and he has just now published it to vindicate hia
innocence."
Gongora's candid pupil was running on in his career of benevo-
lent explanation, when one of the Duke de Medina Sidonia's house-
hold came up and said, " Signor Don Fabricio, my lord duke wishes
to speak with you, " You will find him at home." Nunez, who
knew that the wishes of a great lord could not be too soon gratified,
left me without ceremony ; but he left me in the utmost consterna-
tion, to hear him called Don, and thus ennobled, in spite of Master
Chrysostom the barber's escutcheon, who had the honor to call him
father.
CHAPTER XIV.
FABEICIO FINDS A SITUATION FOR GIL BLAS IN THE ESTABLISHMENT
OF COUNT GALIANO, A SICILIAN NOBLEMAN.
I WAS too happy in Fabricio's society not to hunt him out again
early the next morning. " Good-day to you, Signor Don Fab-
ricio," said I on my first approach ; " it seems you are the picked
and chosen flower, or rather, saving your presence, the nondescript'
excrescence of the Asturian nobility." This sarcasm had no other
effect than to set him laughing heartily. " Then the title of Don
was not lost upon you!" exclaimed he. "No, indeed, my noble
lord," answered I ; " and you will give me leave to tell you that
when you were recounting your transformations to me yesterday,
you forgot the most extraordinary." "Exactly so," replied he;
" but to speak sincerely, if I have taken up that prefix of dignity,
it is less to tickle my own vanity, than in tenderness to that of
others. You know what stuff" the Spaniards are made of; an honest
man is no honest man to them, if his honor is not bolstered up with
escutcheons, pedigree, and patrimony. I may tell you, moreover,
that there are so many gentry, and very queer sort of gentry too,
dubbed Don Francisco, Don Pedro, Don What-do-you-call-him, or
410 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Don Devil, that if they owe their coats-of-arms to any herald but
their own impudence, modern nobility is a mere drug in the market,
so that a plebeian of nature's ennobling confers infinite honor on
the upstarts of arr artificial creation, by herding with their order.
" But let us change the subject," added he. " Last night, supping
at the Duke de Medina Sidonia's, where, among other company, we
had Count Galiano, a great Sicilian nobleman, the conversation
turned upon the ridiculous efiects of self-love. Delighted at having
a case in point by way of illustration, I treated them with the story
of the homilies. You may well suppose that there was a hearty
laugh, and that the archbishop's dignity was not saved in the con-
cussion ; but the effect was not amiss for you, since the company
felt for your situation ; and Count Galiano, after a long string of
questions, which of course I answered to your advantage, commis-
sioned me to introduce you. I was just now going to look after you
for that purpose. In all probability he means to offer you a situ-
ation as one of his secretaries. I advise you not to hang back. The
count is rich, and lives away at Madrid, on the scale of an ambas-
sador. He is said to have come to court on a negotiation with the
Duke of Lerma, respecting some crown lands which that minister
thinks of alienating in Sicily. In one word, Count Galiano, though
a Sicilian, has every feature of generosity, fair dealing, and gentle-
manly conduct. You cannot do better than get upon that noble-
man's establishment. In all probability the flattering prophecy
respecting you at Granada is to be fulfilled in his person."
*' It was my full determination," said I to Nunez, " to take my
swing about town and look at men and manners a little, before the
harness was buckled on my back again ; but you paint your Sicilian
nobleman in colors which fascinate my imagination and change my
purpose. I should like to close with him at once." " You will do
so very soon," replied he, " or I am much deceived." We sallied
forth together immediately, and went to the count's, who resided in
the house of his friend, Don Sancho d'Avila, the latter being then
in the country.
The court-yard was overrun with pages and footmen in rich and
elegant liveries, while the antechamber was blockaded by esquires,
gentlemen, and various officers of the household. They were all as
fine as possible, but with so whimsical an assortment of features,
that you might have taken them for a cluster of monkeys dressed up
to satirize the Spanish fashions. Do what you will, there is a
certain class of men and women in nature, whom no art can trick
out into anything human.
At the very name of Don Fabricio, a lane was formed for my
patron, and I followed in the rear. The count was in his dressing-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ^ 411
gown, sitting on a sofa and taking his chocolate. We made our
obeisance in the most respectful manner; while an inclination of
the head on his part, accompanied with a condescending smile, won
my heart at once. It is very wonderful, and yet very common, how
the most trifling notice from the great penetrates the very soul of
those who are not accustomed to it 1 They musfhave behaved like
fiends before their behavior will be complained of.
After taking his chocolate, he recreated himself with the humors
of a large ape, which underwent the name of Cupid : why the ape
was made a god, or the god likened to an ape, the parties concerned
can best answer ; the only point of resemblance seemed to be mis-
chief. At all events, this hairy brat of the sylvan Venus had so
gambolled himself into his master's good graces, had established
such a character for wit and humor, that the life of society was ex-
tinguished in his absence. As for Nunez and myself, though we
had a better turn for drollery, we were cunning enough to chime in
with the prevailing taste. The Sicilian was highly delighted with
this, and tore himself away for a moment from his favorite pastime,
just to tell me, "My friend, you have only to say whether you
choose to be one of my secretaries. If the situation suits you, the
salary is two hundred pistoles a year. If Don Fabricio gives you
a character, that is enough." " Yes, my lord," cried Nunez, " I am
not such a cowardly fellow as Plato, who introduced one of his
friends to Dionysius the tyrant, and then was afraid to back his
own recommendation. But I have no anxiety about being re-
proached on that head."
I thanked the poet of the Asturias with a low bow, for having so
much better an opinion of me than Plato had of his friend. Then
addressing my patron, I assured him of my zeal and fidelity. No
sooner did this good nobleman perceive his proposal to be accept-
able, than he rang for his steward, and after talking to him apart,
said to me, " Gil Bias, I will explain the nature of your post here-
after. Meanwhile, you have only to follow that right hand man of
mine; he has his orders how to bestow you." I immediately
retreated, leaving Fabricio behind with the count and Cupid.
The steward, who came from Messina, and proved by all his
actions that he came thence, led the way to his own room, over-
whelming me all the while with the kindness of his reception. He
sent for the tailor who lived upon the skirts of the household, and
ordered him to make me out of hand a suit of equal magnificence
with those of the principal officers. The tailor took my measure
and withdrew. "As to lodging," said the native of Messina, "I
know a room which will just suit you. But stay ! Have you
breakfasted?" I answered in the negative. "0, poor shamefaced
412 ADVENTURES OF OIL DLAS.
youth," replied he, " why did not you say so ? Come this way : I
will introduce you where, thank Heaven, you have only to ask and
have."
So saying, he led me down into the buttery, where we found the
clerk of the kitchen, who was a Neapolitan, and of course a com-
plete match fof his neighbor on the other side of the water. It
might be said of this pair that they were formed to meet by nature.
This honest clerk of the kitchen was doing justice to his trade by
cramming himself and five or six hangers-on with ham, tongue,
sausages, and other savory compositions, which, besides their own
relish, possess the merit of engendering thirst. We made common
cause with these jolly fellows, and helped them to toss of some of
my lord the count's best wines. While these things were going on
in the buttery, kindred exploits were performing in the kitchen.
The cook, too, was regaling three or four tradesmen of his ac-
quaintance, who liked good wine as well as ourselves, nor disdained
to stufi" their craws with meat pasties and game : the very scullions
were at free quarters, and filched whatever they pleased. I fancied
myself in a house given up to plunder ; and yet what I saw was
comparatively fair and honest. These little festivities were laugh-
ing matters ; but the private transactions of the family were very
serious.
CHAPTEE XV.
THE EMPLOYMENT OF GIL BLAS IN DON GALIANO'S HOtTSEHOLD.
I WENT away to fetch my movables to my new residence. On
my return, the count was at table with several noblemen sind
the poet Nunez, who called about him as if perfectly at home, and
took a principai share in the conversation. Indeed, he never
opened his lips without applause. So much for wit! With that
commodity at market, a man may pay his way in any company.
It was my lot to dine with the gentlemen of the household, who
were served nearly as well as their employer. After meal-time I
withdrew to ruminate on my lot. " So far so good, Gil Bias," said
I to myself; "here you are in the family of a Sicilian count, of
whose character you know nothing. To judge by appearances, you
will be as much in your element as a duck upon the water. But do
not make too sure ! You ought to look askew at your horoscope,
whose unkindly position you have too often experienced with a ven-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 413
geance. Independent of that, it is not easy to conjecture what he
means you to do. There are secretaries and a steward already:
where can your post be? In all likelihood you are intended to
manage his little private affairs. Well and good ! There is no
better luck about the house of a great nobleman, if you would travel
post haste to make your fortune. In the performance of more hon-
orable services, a man gets on only step by step, and even at tha;t
pace often sticks by the way."
While these philosophical reflections were revolving in my mind,
a servant came to tell me that all the company was gone home, and
that my lord the count was inquiring for me. I flew immediately
to his apartment, where I found him lolling on the sofa, ready to
take his afternoon's nap, with his monkey by his side.
" Come nearer, Gil Bias," said he ; " take a chair, and hear me
attentively." I placed myself in an attitude gf profound listening,
when he addressed me as follows: " Don Fabricio has informed me
that, among other good qualities, you have that of sincere attach-
ment to your masters, and incorruptible integrity. These are my
inducements for proposing to take you into my service. I stand in
need of a friend in a domestic, to espouse my interests and apply
his whole heart and soul to the reform of my establishment. My
fortune is large, it must be confessed, but my expenditure far ex-
ceeds my income every year. And how happens that? Because
they rob, ransack, and devour me. I might as well be in a forest
infested by banditti, as an inhabitant of my own house. I suspect
the clerk of the kitchen and my steward of playing into one another's
hands ; and unless my thoughts are unjust as well as uncharitable,
they are pushing forward as fast as they can to ruin me beyond re-
demption. You will ask me what I have to do but send them pack-
ing if I think them scoundrels. But, then, where are otJiers to be
got of a better breed ? It will be sufiicient to place them under the
eye of a man who shall be invested with the right of control over
their conduct ; and you have I chosen to execute this commission.
If you discharge it well, be assured that your services will not be re-
paid with ingratitude. I shall take care to provide you with a very
comfortable settlement in Sicily."
With this he dismissed me, and that very evening, in the presence
of the whole household, I was proclaimed principal manager and
surveyor-general of the family. Our gentlemen of Messina and
Naples expressed no particular chagrin at first, because they consid-
ered me as a spark of mettle like their own, and took it for granted,
that though the loaf was to be shared with a third, there would
always be cut and come again for the triumvirate. But they looked
inexpressibly foolish the next day, when I declared myself in serious
414 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
terms a decided enemy to all peculation and underhand dealing.
From the clerk of the kitchen I required the buttery accounts with-
out varnish or concealment. I went down into the cellar. The fur-
niture of the butler's pantry underwent a strict examination, par-
ticularly in the articles of plate and linen. Next I read them a
serious lecture on the duty of acting for their employer as they
would for themselves; exhorted them to adopt a system of economy in
their expenditure ; and wound up my harangue with a protestation
that his lordship should be acquainted with the very first instance of
any unfair tricks that I should discover in the exercise of my oflSce.
But I had not yet got to the length of my tether. There was still
wanting a scout to ascertain whether they had any private under-
standing. I fixed upon a scullion, who, won over by my promises,
told me that I could not have applied to a better person to be in-
formed of all that wag passing in the family ; that the clerk of the
kitchen and the steward were one as good as the other, and
had agreed between them to burn the candle at both ends; that
half the provisions bought for the table were made perquisites by
these gentlemen ; that the Neapolitan kept a lady who lived opposite
8t. Thomas's College, and his colleague, not to be outdone, provided
for another next door to the Sungate ; that these two nymphs had
their larder regularly supplied every morning, while the cook, fol-
lowing a good example, sent a few little nice things to a widow of
his acquaintance in the neighborhood ; but as he winked at the
table arrangements of his dear and confidential friends, it was but
fair that he should draw whenever he pleased upon the wine-cellar ;
in short, by the practice of these three blood-suckers, a most horrible
system of extravagance had found its way into my lord the count's
establishment. " If you doubt my veracity," added the scullion,
" only take the trouble of going to-morrow morning, about seven
o'clock, into the neighborhood of St. Thomas's College, and you
will see me with a load upon my back which will convert your sus-
picions into certainty." " Then you," said I, " are in the confi-
dence of these honest purveyors?" " I am factor to the clerk of
the kitchen," answered he; "and one of my comrades runs on
errands for the steward."
I had the curiosity the next day to loiter about St. Thomas's Col-
lege at the appointed hour. My informer was punctual to time and
place. He brought with him a large tray full of butcher's meat,
poultry, and game. I took an account of every article, and drew
out the bill of fare in my memorandum book, for the purpose of
showing it to my master, at the same time telling my little turnspit
to execute his commission as usual.
His Sicilian lordship, naturally warm in his temper, would have
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 416
turned his countryman and the Italian out of doors together, in the
first fury of his anger ; but after cooling upon it, he got rid of the
former only, and gave me his vacant place. Thus my office of super-
visor was suppressed very shortly after its creation ; nor did I re-
linquish it with any reluctance. To define it strictly and properly,
it was nothing better than that of a spy with a sounding title; there
was nothing substantial in the nature of the appointment : whereas,
to the stewardship was tied the key of the strong box, and with that
goes the mystery of the whole family. There are so many little per-
quisites, and so much patronage attached to that department of ad-
ministration, that a man must inevitably get rich, almost in spite of
his own honesty.
But our Neapolitan was not so easily to be driven from his strong-
holds. Observing to what a pitch of savage zeal I carried my in-
tegrity, and that I was up every morning time enough to enter in
my books the exact quantity of meat that came from market, Jie
abandoned the practice of sending it off by wholesale ; yet the
plunderer did not therefore contract the scale of his demands on
the animal creation. He was cunning enough to make it as broad
as it was long, by arranging the services with so much the more
profusion. Thus, what was sent down again untouched being his
property by culinary common law, he had nothing to do but to pam-
per up his pet with victuals ready dressed, instead of giving her the
trouble of cooking for herself. The devil will levy his due out of
every transaction, so that the count was very little the better for his
paragon of a steward. The unbounded prodigality in our style of
setting out a table, even to a surfeiting degree, was a plain hint to
me of what was going forward : I therefore took upon my&elf to
retrench the superfluities of every course. This, however, was done
with so judicious a hand, that there was nothing like parsimony to
be discovered. No one would ever have missed what was taken
away; and yet the expense was reduced very considerably by a
well-regulated economy. That was just what my employer wanted—
good housewifery, but a magnificent establishment. There was a
love of saving at the bottom, but a taste for grandeur was the osten-
sible passion.
Abuses seldom exist alone. The wine flowed too freely. If, for
instance, there were a dozen gentlemen at his lordship's table, the
consumption was seldom less than fifty bottles, sometimes sixty.
This was strange, and looked as if there was more in it than met the
lips of the guests. Hereupon I consulted my oracle of the scullery,
whence I derived most of my wisdom ; for he brought me a faithful
account of all that was said and done in the kitchen, where they had
not the least suspicion of him. It seemed that the havoc of which
416 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
/
I complained proceeded from a new confederacy between the clerk
of the kitchen, the cook, and the under butler. The latter carried
off the bottles half iull, and shared their contents with his allies.
I spoke to him on the subject, threatening to turn him and all the
footmen under him out of doors at a minute's warning, if ever they
did the like again. The hint was understood, and the evil remedied.
I took especial care lest the slightest of my services should be lost
upon my master, who overwhelmed me with commendations, and
took a greater liking to me every day. On my part, as a reward
to the scullion, he was promoted to the situation next under the
cook.
The Neapolitan was furious at encountering me in every direction.
The most aggravating circumstance of the whole was the overhaul-
ing of his accounts; fof, to pare his nails the closer, I had gone into
the market, and informed myself of the prices. I followed him
through all his doublings, and always took off the market peony
which he wanted to add. He must have cursed me a hundred times
a day ; but the curses of the wicked fall in blessings on the good,
I wondered how he could stay in his place under such discipline ;
but probably something still stuck by the fingers.
Fabricio, whom I saw occasionally, rather blamed my conduct
than otherwise. " Heaven grant," said he, one day, " that all this
virtue may meet with its reward ! But between ourselves, you might
BJB well be a little more practicable with the clerk of the kitchen."
" What 1" answered I, " shall this freebooter put a bold face upon
the matter, and charge a fish at ten pistoles in his bill which cost
only four ? and would you have me pass the articles in my accounts?"
" Why not?" replied he coolly. " He has only to let you go snacks
in the commission, and the books will be balanced in your favor by
the customary rule of stewardship arithmetic. Upon my word, my
friend, you are enough to overturn all regular systems of housekeep-
ing; and you are likely to end your days in a livery, if you let the
eel slip through your fingers without skinning it. You are to learn
that Fortune is a very woman, ready and eager to surrender, but ex-
pecting the formality of a summons."
I only laughed at this doctrine, and Nunez laughed at it too,
when he found that bad advice was thrown away upon an incorri-
gibly honest subject. He then wished to make me believe it was all
a mere jolce. At all events, nothing could shake my resolution to
act for my employer as for myself. Indeed, my actions corre-
sponded with my words on that subject ; for I may venture to say
that in four months my master saved at least three thousand ducats
by my thrift.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 417
CHAPTER XVI.
AN ACCIDENT HAPPENS TO THE COUNT DE GALIANO'S MONKEY. THE
ILLNESS OF GIL BLAS, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
AT the expiration of the before-mentioned time, the repose of
the family was marvellously troubled by an accident which
will appear but a trifle to the reader, and yet it was a very serious
matter to the household, especially to me. Cupid, the monkey of
whom I was speaking, that animal so much the idol of our lord and
master, attempting to leap from one window to another, performed
so ill as to fall into the court and put his leg out of joint. No sooner
were the fatal tidings carried to the count, than he sung a dirge
which pealed through all the neighborhood. In the extremity of
his sufferings, every inmate without exception was taken to task, and
we were all within an inch of being packed off about our business.
But the storm only rumbled, without falling ; he gave us and our
negligence to the devil, withojit being by any means select in the
terms of the bequest. The most notorious of the faculty in the line
of fractures and dislocations were sent for. They examined the poor
dear leg, set, and bound it up. But though they all gave it as their
opinion that there was no danger, my master could not be satisfied
without retaining the most eminent about the person of the animal,
till he could be pronounced to be in a state of convalescence.
It would be a manifest injustice to the family affections of his
Sicilian lordship not to commemorate all the agonizing sensi?tions
of his soul during this period of painful suspense. Would it be
thought possible that this tender nurse did not stir from his
darling Cupid's bedside all the livelong day ? The bandages were
never altered or adjusted but in his presence, and he got up two or
three times in the night to inquire after his patient. The most pro-
voking part of the business was, that all the servants, and myself in
particular, were required to be eternally on the alert, to anticipate
the slightest wishes of this ridiculous baboon. In short, there was
no peace in the house till the cursed beast, having recovered from
the effects of its fall, got back again to his old tricks and whirli-
gigs. After this, shall we be mealy-mouthed about believing Sueto-
nius when he tells us that Caligula cared more for his horse than for
all the world besides, that he gave him more than the establishment
and attendance of a senator, and that he even wanted to make him
consul ? Our wise master stopped little short of the emperor in his
partiality to the monkey, and hfid serious thoughts of purchasing
for him the place of corregldor.
27
418 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Mine was the worst luck of any in the family, for I had so topped
my part above all the other servants, by way of paying my court to
bis lordship, and had nursed poor dear Cupid with such assiduity,
as to throw myself into a fit of illness. A violent fever seized me,
80 that I was almost at death's door. They did what they pleased
with me for a whole fortnight, without my consciousness ; for the
physicians and the fates were both conspiring against me. But my
youth was more than a match for the fever and the prescriptions
united. When I recovered my senses, the first use I made of them
was to observe myself removed to another room. I wanted to know
why, and asked an old woman who nursed me ; but she told me
that I must not talk, as the physician had expressly forbidden it.
When we are well, we turn up our noses at the doctors ; but when
we are sick, we are as much like old women as themselves.
It therefore seemed best to keep silence, though I had an invete-
rate longing to hold converse with my attendant. I was debating
the point in my own mind, when there came in two foppish-looking
fellows, dressed in the very extreme of fashion. Nothing less than
velvet would serve their turn, with linen and lace to correspond.
They looked like men of rank, and'l could have sworn that they
were some of my master's friends come to see me out of regard for
him. Under that impression, I attempted to sit up, and flung away
my nightcap to look genteel ; but the nurse forced me under the
bedclothes again, and tucked me up, at fhe same time announcing
these gentlemen as my physician and apothecary.
The doctor came up to my bedside, felt my pulse, looked in my
face, and discovering undeniable symptoms of approaching conva-
lescence, assumed an air of triumph, as if it was all his handiwork,
and said there was nothing wanting but to keep the bowels open,
and then he flattered himself he might boast of having performed
an extraordinary cure. Speaking after this manner, he dictated a
prescription to the apothecary, looking in the glass all the time,
adjusting the dress of his hair, and twisting his visage into shapes
which set me laughing in spite of my debility. At length he took
his leave, with a slight inclination of the head, and went his way,
more taken with the contemplation of his own pretty person than
anxious about the success of his remedies.
After his departure, the apothecary, not to have the trouble of a
visit for nothing, made ready to proceed as it is prescribed in cer-
tain cases. Whether he was afraid that the old woman's skill was
not equal to the exigency, or whether he meant to enhance his own
services by assiduity, he chose to operate in person ; but in spite of
practice and experience, accidents will happen. Haste to return
bene^t^ ig ^fflpng the most amiable propensities of our nature; and
/
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLA8. 419
Bucli was my eagerness not to be behindhand with my benefactor,
that his velvet dress bore immediate testimony to the profuseness of
my gratitude. This he considered merely as one of those little
occurrences which checker the fortunes of the pharmaceutical pro-
fession. A napkin is a resource for everything in a sick-room, and
least said was soonest mended ; so he wiped himself quietly, vowing
indemnity and vengeance to himself for the necessity under which
he unquestionably labored of sending his clothes to the scourer.
On the following morning he returned to the attack more
modestly equipped, though there was then no risk of my springing
a countprmine, as he had only to administer the potion which the
doctor had prescribed the evening before. Besides that I felt my-
self getting better every moment, I had taken such a dislike since
the day before to the pill-dispensing tribe, as to curse the very
universities where these graduated cutthroats kept their exercises
in the faculty of slaying. In this temper of mind I declared, with a
round oath, that I would not accept of health through such a
medium, but would willingly make over Hippocrates and his myr-
midons to the devil. The apothecary, who did not care a doit what
became of his compound, if it was but paid for, left the vial on the
table, and stalked away in Telamonian silence.
I immediately ordered that bitch of a. medicine to be thrown out
of the window, having set myself so doggedly against it, that I
would as soon have swallowed arsenic. Having once drawn the
sword, I threw away the scabbard ; and erecting my tongue into an
independent potentate, told my nurse in a determined tone that
she must absolutely inform me what had become of my master. The
old lady, fearing lest the development of the mystery might com-
pletely overset me, or thinking possibly that her prey might escape
out of her clutches for want of a little irritating contradiction, was
most provokingly mute ; but I was so pressing in my demand to be
obeyed, that she at length gave me a decisive answer: "Worthy sir,
you have no longer any master but your own will. Count Galiano
is gone back into Sicily."
I could not believe my ears ; and yet it was fatally the fact. That
nobleman, on the second day of my indisposition, being afraid of
harboring death under the same roof with him, had the benevolence
to send me packing with my little effects to a ready-furnished room,
where providence was left to cure or a nurse to kill me, as it hap-
pened. While the alternative was tottering on the balance, he was
ordered back into Sicily, and in the headlong haste of his obedience,
never thought about me; whether it was that he numbered me
already among the dead, or that great lords, like great wits, have
short memories.
420 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
My nurse gave me these particulars, and informed me that it was
she who had called in a physician and an apothecary, that I might
not die without professional honors. I fell into profound musing
at this fine story. Farewell my brilliant establishment in Sicily 1
Farewell my budding hopes and blushing honors! "When any
great misfortune shall have befallen you," says a certain pope,
" look well to your own conduct, and yoil will find that there is
always something wrong at the bottom of it." With all reverent
submission to his holiness, I cannot help thinking myself in this
instance an exception to the infallibility of his maxim. How the
deuce was I to blame for being visited by a fever ? There was more
reason for remorse in the monkey or his master than in me.
When I beheld the flattering chimeras with which my head was
filled all vanishing into air, into thin air, the first thing that wor-
ried my poor brain was my portmanteau, which I ordered to be laid
upon my bed to examine it. I groaned heavily on discovering that
it had been opened. " Alas ! my dear portmanteau," exclaimed I,
" my only hope, consolation, and refuge ! You have been, to all
appearance, a prisoner in an enemy's country." " No, no, Signor
Gil Bias," said the old woman ; " make yourself easy on that head ;
you have not fallen among thieves. Your baggage is as immaculate
as my honor."
I found the dress I had on at my first entrance into the count's
service ; but it was in vain to look for that which my friend from
Messina had ordered for me as a member of the household. My
master had not thought fit to leave me in possession of it, or else
some one had made free with it. All my other little matters were
safe, and even a large leather purse with my coin in it, which I
counted over twice, not being able to believe at first that there
could be only fifty pistoles remaining out of two hundred and sixty,
which was the balance of the account before my illness. " What is
the meaning of all this, my good lady?" said I to the nurse. "Here
is a leak in the vessel." " No living soul but myself has touched a
farthing," answered the old woman, " and I have been as good an
economist for you as possible. But illness is very expensive ; one
must always have one's money in one's hand. Here !" added this
excellent economist, taking a bundle of papers out of her pocket,
" this is a statement of debtor and creditor, as exact as a banker's
book, and you will see that I have not laid out the veriest trifle in
need-nots."
I ran over the account with a hasty glance ; for it extended to
fifteen or twenty pages. Mercy on us ! The poulterers' shops must
have been exhausted, while I was in too weak a state to take suste-
nance I There must have been at least twelve pistoles stewed down
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 421
into broths. Other articles were much to the same tune. It was
incredible what a sum had been lavished in firing, candles, water,
brooms, and innumerable articles of housekeeping and house-clean-
ing. After all, extortionate as the bill was, the utmost ingenuity
could not raise it above thirty pistoles, and consequently there was
a deficiency of a hundred and eighty to make the account even. I
just ventured to point that out; but the old woman, with a show
of simplicity and candor, put all the saints in the calendar into
requisition to attest that there were no more than eighty pistoles in
the purse when the count's steward gave her charge of the wallet.
"What say you, my good woman?" interrupted I with precipita-
tion : " was it the steward who placed my effects in your hands V
" To be sure it was," answered she ; " the very man ; and with this
piece of advice: 'Here, good mother; when Gil Bias shall be num-
bered with the dead, do not fail to treat him with a handsome
funeral : there is in this wallet wherewithal to defray the expenses.' "
" Ah ! most pestiferous Neapolitan I" exclaimed I in the bitter-
ness of my heart. " I am no longer at a loss to conjecture what is
become of the deficiency. You have swept it off as an indemnity
for a part of the plunder which I have prevented you from making
free with." After relieving my mind by exclamations, I returned
thanks to Heaven that the scoundrel had been so modest as not to
take the whole. Yet whatever reason I had for believing the action
to be perfectly in character for the person to whom it was imputed,
the nurse had not altogether cleared herself from my suspicions.
They hovered sometimes over one and sometimes over the other;
but let them light where they would, it was all the same to me. I
said nothing about the matter to the old woman ; not even so much
as to haggle about the items of her fine bill. I should not have
been an atom the richer for doing so ; and we must all live by our
trades. The utmost of my malice was to pay her and send her
packing three days afterwards.
I am inclined to think that at her departure she gave the apothe-
cary notice of her quitting the premises, and having left me
sufiiciently in possession of myself to take French leave without
acknowledging my obligations to him ; for she had not been gone
many minutes before he came in puffing and blowing, with his bill
in his hand. There, under names which had escaped my conscrip-
tion, though as arrant a physician as the worst of them, he had set
down all the hypothetical remedies which he insisted that I had
taken during the time when I could take nothing. This bill might
truly be called the epitome of an apothecary's conscience. Such
being the case, we had a bustle about the payment. I pleaded for
an abatement of one half He swore that he would not take a doit
422 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
leaa than his just demand. He kept his oath, and yet relaxed ; for
considering that he had to do with a young man who might run
away from Madrid within four-and-twenty hours, he preferred my
offer of three hundred per cent, on the prime cost of his drugs,
though a pitiful profit for an apothecary, to the risk of losing all.
I counted out the money with an aching heart, and he withdrew,
chuckling over his revenge for the scurvy trick I had played him
on the day of evacuation.
The physician made his appearance next ; for beasts of prey in-
habit the same latitudes. I paid him for his visits, which had been
quite as frequent as necessary, and his object was answered. But he
would not leave me without proving how hardly he had earned his
money, for that he had not only expelled the enemy from the in-
terior, but had defended the frontiers from the attack of all the dis-
orders on the army list of the materia medica. He talked very
learnedly, with good emphasis and discretion ; so much so, that 1
did not comprehend one word he said. When I had got rid of him,
I flattered myself that the destinies had now done their worst. But
I was mistaken ; for there came a surgeon whose face I had never
seen in the whole course of my life. He accosted me very politely,
and congratulated me on the imminent danger from which I had
escaped, attributing the happy issue of my complaints to those
which he had himself cut, with the profuse application of bleeding,
cupping, blistering, and all sorts of torments, consequent and in-
consequent Another feather out of my poor wing I I was obliged
to pay toll to the surgeon also. After so many purgatives, my
purse was brought to such a state of debility that it might be
considered as dead and gone — a mere skeleton, drained of all its
vital juices.
My spirits began to flag on the contemplation of my wretched
case. In the service of my last two masters I had wedded myself
to the pomps and vanities of this wicked world, and could no
longer, as heretofore, look poverty in the face with the sternness of
a cynic. It must be owned, however, that I was in the wrong to
give way to melancholy, after experiencing so often that fortune
had never cast me down but for the purpose of raising me up
again ; so that my pitiful plight at the present moment, if rightly
considered, was only to be hailed as the harbinger of approaching
prosperity.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 428
BOOK VIII.
CHAPTER I.
ML BLAS SCRAPES AN ACQUAINTANCE OF SOME VALUE. DON VALEBIO'
DE LUNA'S STORY.
IT seemed so strange to have heard not a syllable from Nunez
during this long interval, that I concluded he must be in the
country. I went to look after him as soon as I could walk, and
found the fact to be that he had gone into Andalusia three weeks
ago, with the Duke of Medina Sidonia.
One morning, when rubbing my eyes after a sound sleep, Mel-
chior de la Ronda started into my recollection ; and that bringing
to mind my promise, at Granada, of going to see his nephew, if ever
I should return to Madrid, it seemed advisable not to defer fulfilling
my promise for a single day. I inquired where Don Balthazar de
Zunigna lived, and went thither straightway. On asking if Signor
Joseph Navarro was at home, he made his appearance immediately.
We exchanged bows with a well-bred coolness on his part, though
I had taken care to announce my name audibly. There was no re-
conciling such a frosty reception with the glowing portrait ascribed
to this paragon of the buttery. I was just going to withdraw in the
full determination of not coming again, when, assuming all at once
an open and smiling aspect, he said, with considerable earnestness,
"Ah I Signor Gil Bias de Santillane, pray forgive the formality of
your welcome. My memory ill seconded the warmth of my dispo-
sition towards you. Your name had escaped me, and was not at
the moment identified with the gentleman of whom mention was
made in a letter from Granada more than four months ago.
" How happy I am to see you I" added he, shaking hands with
.ne most cordially. " My uncle Melchior, whom I love and honor
like my natural father, charges me, if by chance I should have the
honor of seeing you, to entertain you as his own son, and in case of
need, to stretch my own credit and that of my friends to the utmost
in your behalf. He extols the qualities of your heart and mind in
terms sufiicient of themselves to engage me in your service, though
his recommendation had not been added to the other motives. Con-
sider me, therefore, I entreat you, as participating in all my uncle's
sentiments. You may depend on my friendship ; let me hoi)e for
an equal share in yours."
424 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
I replied to Joseph's polite assurances in suitable terms of ac-
knowledgment ; so that, being both of us warni-heartefl and sincere,
a close intimacy sprung up without waiting for common forms. I
felt no embarrassment about laying open the state of my affairs.
This I had no sooner done than he said, " I take upon myself the
care of finding you a situation ; meanwhile, there is a knife and
fork for you here every day. You will live rather better than at an
ordinary." This offer was sure to be well relished by an invalid just
recovering, with a fastidious palate and an empty pocket. It could
not but be accepted ; and I picked up my crumbs so fast that at the
end of a fortnight I began to look like a rosy-gilled son of the
church. It struck me that Melchior's nephew larded his lean sides
to some purpose. But how could it be otherwise? he had three
strings to his bow, as holding the undermentioned pluralities : the
butler's place, the clerkship of the kitchen, and the stewardship.
Furthermore, without meaning to question my friend's honesty, they
do say that the comptroller of the household and h& looked over
each other's hands.
My recovery was entirely confirmed, when my friend Joseph, on
my coming in to dinner as usual one day, said, with an air of con-
gratulation, ".Signor Gil Bias, I have a very tolerable situation in
view for you. You must know that the Duke of Lerma, first min-
ister of the crown of Spain, giving himself up entirely to state
affairs, throws the burden of his own on two confidential persons.
Don Diego de Monteser takes the charge of collecting his rents, and
Don Eodrigo de Calderona superintends the finances of his house-
hold^. These two officers are paramount in their departments, hav-
ing nothing to do with one another. Don Diego has generally two
deputies to transact the business ; and finding just now that one of
them had been discharged, I have been canvassing for you. Signor
Monteser, having the greatest possible regard for me, granted my
request at once, on the strength of my testimony to your morals and
capacity. We will pay our respects to him after dinner."
We did not miss our appointment. I was received with every
mark of favor, and promoted in the room of the dismissed deputy.
My business consisted in visiting the farms, in giving orders for the
necessary repairs, in dunning the farmers, and keeping them to time
in their payments ; in a word, the tenants were all under my thumb,
and Don Diego checked my accounts every month with a minuteness
which few receivers could have borne. But this was exactly what I
wanted. Though my uprightness had been so ill requited by my
late master, it was my only inheritance, and I was determined not
to sell the reversion.
One '^.ay news came that the castle of Lerma had taken fire, and
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 425
was more than half burned down. I immediately went thither to
estimate the loss. Informing myself to a nicety, and on the spot,
respecting all the particulars of the unlucky accident, I drew up a
detailed narrative, which Monteser showed to the Duke of Lerma.
That minister, though vexed at the circumstance, was struck with
the memorial, and inquired who was the author. Don Diego thought
it not enough to answer the question,, but spoke of me in such high
terms that his excellency recollected it six months afterwards, on
occasion of an incident I shall now relate, had it not been for
which I might never, perhaps, have been employed at court. It
was as follows : —
There lived at that time, in Princes street, an elderly lady, by
name Inesilla de Cantarilla. Her birth was a matter of mystery.
Some said she -was the daughter of a musical instrument maker,
and others gave her a high military extraction. However that
might be, she was a very extraordinary personage. Nature had
gifted her with the singular talent of winning men's hearts, in defi-
ance of time, and in contradiction to her own laws; for she was
now entering upon the fourth quarter of her century. She had been
the reigning toast of the old court, and levied tribute on the pas-
sions of the new. Age, though at daggers drawn with beauty, was
completely foiled in its assault upon her charms ; they might be
somewhat faded, but the touch of sympathy they excited in their
decline was more pleasing than the vivid glow of their meridian
lustre. An air of dignity, a transporting wit and humor, an unbor-
rowed grace in her deportment, perpetuated the reign of passion,
and silenced the suggestions of reason.
Don Valerio de Luna, one of the Duke of Lerma's secretaries, a
young fellow of five-and-twenty, meeting with Inesilla, fell violently
in love with her. He made his sentiments known, enacted all the
mummery of despair, and followed up the usual catastrophe of
every amorous drama so much according to the unities and rules
that it was difficult, in the torrent and whirlwind of his passion, to
beget a temperance that might give it smoothness. The lady, who
had her reason for not choosing to fall in with his humor, was at
a loss how to get out of the difficulty. One day she was in hopes to
have found the means by calling the young man into her closet, and
there pointing to a clock upon the table. " Mark the precise hour,"
said she ; "just seventy-five years ago was I brought upon the stage
of this fantastical world. In good earnest, would it sit well upon my
time of life to be engaged in affairs of gallantry? Betake yourself
to reflection, my good child ; stifle sentiments so unsuitable to your
own circumstances and mine." Sensible as this language was, the
spark, no longer bowing to the authority of reason, answered the
426 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
lady with all the impetuosity of a man racked by the most excruci-
ating torments. " Cruel Inesilla," said he, " why have you recourse
to such frivolous remonstrances? Do you think you can change
your charms, or my desires ? Delude not yourself with so false a
hope. As long as your loveliness or my delusion lasts, I shall never
cease to adore you." " Well, then," rejoined she, " since you are
obstinate enough to persist in the resolution of wearying me with
your importunities, my doors shall henceforth be shut against you.
You are banished, and I beg to be no longer troubled with your
company."
It may be supposed, perhaps, that after this Don Valerio, baffled,
made good his retreat, like a prudent general. Quite the reverse !
He became more troublesome than ever. Love is to lovers just what
wine is to drunkards. The swain entreated, sighed, looked, and
sighed again, when all at once, changing his note from childish
treble to the big, manly voice of bluster and ravishment, he swore
that he would have by foul means what he could not obtain by fair.
But the lady, repulsing him courageously, said, with a piercing
look of strong resentment, " Hold, imprudent wretch I I shall put a
curb on your mad career. Learn that you are my own son."
Don Valerio was thunderstruck with these words ; the tempest of
his rage subsided. But, conjecturing that Inesilla had only started
this device to rid herself of his solicitations, he answered, " That is
a mere romance of the moment to steal away from my ardent de-
sires." " No, no," said she, interrupting him j " I disclose a mys-
tery which should have been forever buried, had you not reduced
me to so painful a necessity. It is six-and-twenty years since I was
in love with your father, Don Pedro de Luna, then governor of
Segovia ; you were the fruit of our mutual passion ; he owned you,
brought you up with care and tenderness, and having no children
born in wedlock, he had nothing to hinder him from distinguishing
your good qualities by the gifts of fortune. On my part, I have not
forsaken you. As soon as you were of an age to be introduced into
the world, I drew you into the circle of my acquaintance, to form
your manners to that polish of good company so necessary for a
gentleman, which is only to be gained in female society. 1 have done
more : I have employed all my credit to introduce you to the prime
minister. In short, I have interested myself for you as I should
have done for my own son. After this confession, take your meas-
ures accordingly. If you can purge your affections from their dross,
and look on me as a mother, you are not banished from my pres-
ence, and I shall treat you with my accustomed tenderness. But if
you are not equal to an effort which nature and reason demand from
you, fly instantly, and release me Irom the horror of beholding you."
ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS. 427
Inesilla spoke to this effect. Meanwhile Don Valerio preserved a
sullen silence;, it might have been interpreted into a virtuous
struggle — a conquest over the weakness of his heart. But his pur^
poses were far different ; he had another scene to act before his
mother. Unable to withstand the total overthrow of all his wild
projects, he basely yielded to despair. Drawing his sword, he
plunged it in his own bosom. His fate resembled that of CEdipus,
with this distinction, that the Theban put out his own eyes from
remorse for the crime he had perpetrated, while the Castilian, on
the contrary, committed suicide from disappointment at the frustra-
tion of his purposes.
The unhappy Don Valerio was not released from his sufferings
immediately. He had leisure left for recollection, and for making
his peace with Heaven, before he rushed into the presence of his
Maker. As his death vacated one of the secretaryships on the Duke
of Lerma's establishment, that minister, not having forgotten my
memoir on the subject of the fire, nor the high character he had
beard of me, nominated me to succeed to the post in question.
CHAPTER II.
GIL BLAS IS INTEODTTCED TO THE DUKE OF LEEMA, WHO ADMITS HIM
AMONG THE NUMBEK OF HIS SECEETAEIES.
MONTESER was the person to inform me of this agreeable
circumstance, which he did in the following terms : " My
friend Gil Bias, though I do not lose you without regret, I am too
much your well-wisher not to be delighted at your promotion in the
room of Don Valerio. You cannot fail to make a princely fortune,
provided you act upon two hints which I have to give you; the
first, to affect so total a devotion to his excellency's good pleasure
as to leave no room to conceive it possible that you have any other
object or interest in life ; the second, to pay your court assiduously
to Signor Don Rodrigo de Calderona, for that personage models and
remodels, fashions and touches upon the mind of his master, just as
if it was clay under the hands of the designer. If you are fortunate
enough to chime in with that favorite secretary, you will travel post
to wealth and honor, and find relays upon the road."
" Sir," said I to Don Diego, returning him thanks at the same time
for his good advice, " be pleased to give some little opening to Don
428 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Eodrigo's character. I have heard a few anecdotes of him. One
would suppose him, from some accounts, not to be the best creature
in the world; but the people at large are inveterate caricaturists
when they draw courtiers at full length ; though, after all, the like-
ness will strike, in spite of the aggravation. Tell me therefore, I
beseech you, what is your own sincere opinion of Signer Calderona."
"That is rather an awkward question," answered my principal, with
an ironical smile. " I should tell any one but yourself, without
flinching, that he was a gentleman of the strictest honor; upon whose
fair fame the breath of calumny had never dared to blow ; but I
really cannot put oflfsuch a copy of my countenance upon you. Re-
lying as I do on your discretion, it becomes a duty to deal candidly
in the delineation of Don Rodrigo ; for without that, it would be
playing fast and loose with you to recommend the cultivation of his
good will.
" You are to know, then, that when his excellency was no more
than plain Don Francisco de Sandoval, this man had the humility
to serve him as his lackey ; since which time he has risen by degrees
to the post of principal secretary. A prouder excrescence of the dung-
hill never sprung into vegetation on a summer's day. He considers
himself as the Duke of Lerma's colleague , and in point of fact, he
may truly be said to parcel out the loaves and fishes of administra-
tion, since he gives away offices and governments at the suggestions
of his own caprice. The public grumbles and growls upon occasion ;
but who cares for the grumbling and growling of the public ? Let
him steal a pair of gloves from the prostitution of political honor,
and the bronze upon his forehead will be proof against the peltings
of scandal. What I have said will decide your dealings toward so
supercilious a compound of dust and ashes," " Yes, to be sure," said
I ; " leave me alone for that. It will be strange indeed if I cannot
wriggle myself into his good graces. If one can but get on the blind
side of a man who is to be made a property, it must be want of skill
in the player if the game is lost." " Exactly so," replied Monteser ;
" and now I will introduce you to the Duke of Lerma."
We went at once to the minister, whom we found in his audience-
chamber. His levee was more crowded than the king's. There were
commanders and knights of St. James and of Calatrava, making
interest for governments and viceroyalties ; bishops, who, laboring
under oppression of the breath and tightness of the chest in their
own dioceses, had been recommended the air of an archbishopric by
their physicians, while the sounder lungs of lower dignitaries were
strong enough to inhale the Theban atmosphere of a suffragan see.
I observed, besides, some reduced officers dancing attendance to
Captain Chinchilla's tune, and catching cold in fishing for a pension
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 429
which was never likely to pay the doctor for their cure. If the duke
did not satisfy their wants, he put a pleasant face upon their impor-
tunities ; and it struck me that he returned a civil answer to all ap-
plicants.
"We waited patiently till the routine of ceremony was despatched.
Then said Don Diego, " My lord, this is Gil Bias de Santillane, the
young man appointed by your excellency to succeed Don Valerio."
The duke now took more particular notice of me, saying obligingly,
that I had already earned my promotion by my services. He then
took me to a private conference in his closet, or rather to an exami-
nation. My birth, parentage, and course of life-were the objects of
his inquiry ; nor would he be satisfied without the particulars, and
those in the spirit of sincerity. What a career to run over before a
patron ! Yet it was impossible to lie in the presence of a prime min-
ister. On the other hand, my vanity was concerned in suppressing
so many circumstances, that there was no venturing on an unquali-
fied confession. What cunning scene had Roscius then to act ! A
little painting and tattooing might decently be employed, to dis-
guise the nakedness of Truth, and spare her unsophisticated blushes.
But he had studied her complexion, as well as the beauties of her
natural form. "Monsieur de Santillane," said he with a smile on
the close of my narrative, " I perceive that hitherto you have had
your principles to choose." " My lord," answered I, coloring up
to the eyes, " your excellency enjoined me to deal sincerely, and
I have complied with your orders." " I take your doing so in good
part," replied he. " It is all very well, my good fellow : you ha^e
escaped from the snares of this wicked world more by luck than
management : it is wonderful that bad example should not have cor-
rupted you irreparably. There are many men of strict virtue and
exemplary piety who would have turned out the greatest rogues in
existence if their destinies had exposed them to but half your
trials.
" Friend Santillane," continued the minister, " ponder no longer
on the past ; consider yourself, as to the very bone and marrow, the
king's ; live henceforth but for his service. Come this way ; I will
instruct you in the nature of your business." He carried me into a
little closet adjoining his own, which contained a score of thick folio
registers. " This is your workshop," said he. "All these registers
compose an alphabetical peerage, giving the heraldry and history
of all the nobility and gentry in the several kingdoms and princi-
palities of the Spanish monarchy. In these volumes are recorded
the services rendered to the state by the present possessors and their
ancestors, descending even to the personal animosities and ren-
counters of the individuals and their houses. Their fortunes, their
430 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
manners, in a word, all the pros and cons of their character, are set
down according to the letter of ministerial scrutiny, so that they no
sooner enter on the list of court candidates, than my eye catches up
the very chapter and verse of their pretensions. To furnish this
necessary information, I have pensioned scouts'everywhere on the
lookout, who send me private notices of their discoveries ; but as
these documents are for the most part drawn up in a gossiping and
provincial style, they require to be translated into gentlemanly lan-
guage, or the king would not be able to support the perusal of
the registers. The task demands the pen of a polite and perspic-
uous writer; I doubt not but you will justify your claim to the
appointment."
After this introduction, he put a memorial into my hand, taken
from a large portfolio full of papers, and then withdrew from my
closet, that my first specimen might be manufactured in all the
freedom of solitude. I read the memorial, which was not only
stuffed with a most uncouth jargon, but breathed a brimstone spirit
of rancor and personal revenge. This was most foul, strange, and
unnatural ! for the homily was written by a monk. He hacked and
hewed a Catalan family of some note most unmercifully; with what
reason or truth, it must be reserved for a more penetrating inquirer
to decide. It read, for all the world, like an infamous libel, and I
had some scruples about becoming the publisher of the calumny ;
nevertheless, young as I was at court, I plunged headforemost, at
the risk of sinking and destroying his reverence's soul. The wick-
edness, if there was any, would be put down to his running account
with the recording angel ; I therefore had nothing to do but to vil-
ify, in the present Spanish phraseology, some two or three genera-
tions of honest men and loyal subjects.
I had already blackened four or five pages, when the duke, impa-
tient to know how I got on, came back and said, " Santillane, show
me what you have done ; I am curious to see it." At the same time,
casting his eye over the transcript, he read the beginning with much
attention. It seemed to please him ; strange that he could be so
pleased 1 " Prepossessed as I have been in your favor," observed
he, " I must own that you have surpassed my expectations. It is
not merely the elegance and distinctness of the handwriting : there
is something animated and glowing in the composition. You will
do ample credit to my choice, and fully make up for the loss of your
predecessor." He would not have cut my panegyric so short, if his
nephew, the Count de Lemos, had not interrupted him in the middle
of it. By the warmth and frequency of his excellency's welcome, it
was evident that they were the best friends in the world. They were
immediately closeted together on some family business, of which I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 431
shall speak in the sequel. The king's affairs at this time were
obliged to play second to those of the minister.
While they were caballing it struck twelve. As I knew that the
secretaries and their clerks quitted office at that hour to go and dine
wherever their business and desire should point them, I left my
prize performance behind me, and went to the gayest tavern at the
court end of the town, for I had nothing further to do with Mon-
teser, who had paid my salary and taken his leave of me. But a.
common eating-house would have been a very improper place for
me to be seen in. " Consider yourself, as to the very bone and
marrow, the king's." This metaphorical expression of the duke
had given birth to a real and tangible ambition in my soul, which
put forth shoots like a plantation in a fat and unvexed soil.
CHAPTEE III.
ALL IS NOT GOLD THAT GLITTERS. SOME UNEASINESS EESXJLTING FBOM
THE DISCOVERY OF THAT PRINCIPLE IN PHILOSOPHY.
I TOOK especial care, on my first entrance, to instill into the
tavern-keeper's conception that I was secretary to the prime
minister ; nor was it easy, in that view of my rank and consequence,
to order anything sufficiently sumptuous for dinner. To have
selected from the bill of fare might have looked as if I descended
to the meanness of calculation ; I therefore told him to send up the
best the house afforded. My orders were punctually obeyed ; and
the anxious assiduity of the attendants pampered my fancy as much
as the dishes did my palate. As to the bill, I had nothing to do
with it but to pay it. Down went a pistole upon the table, and the
waiters pocketed the difference, which was somewhat more than a
quarter. After this display of grandeur I strutted out, practicing
those obstreperous clearings of the throat which announce, by empty
sound, the approach of a substantial coxcomb.
There was at the distance of twenty yards a large house with
lodgings to let, principally frequented by foreign nobility. I rented
at once a suite of apartments, consisting of five or six rooms
elegantly furnished. From my style of living, any one would have
thought I had two or three thousand ducats of yearly income. The
first month was paid in advance. Afterwards I returned to busi-
ness, and employed the whole afternoon in going on with what 1
432 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
had begun in the morning. In a closet adjoining mine there were
two other secretaries ; but their office was only to copy out fair. I
got acquainted with them as we were shutting up for the evening,
and, by way of smoothing the first overtures towards friendship,
invited them home with me to my tavern, where I ordered the
choicest delicacies of the season, with a profusion of the most ex"
quisite wines.
We sat down to table, and began bandying about more merriment
than wit ; for with all due deference to my guests, it was but too
visible that they owed their official situations to any circumstance
rather than to their abilities. They were adepts, it must be con-
fessed, in all the history and mystery of scrivening and clerkship ;
but as for polite literature and university education, there was not
even a suspicion of it in all their talk.
To make amends for that defect, they had a keen eye to the main
chance; and though sensible how high an honor it was to be on the
prime minister's establishment, there were some dashes of acid in
the cup of good fortune. " It is now full five months," said one of
them, "that we have been serving at our own cost. We do not
touch one farthing of "salary ; and, what is worst of all, our very
board wages are shamefully in arrear. There is no knowing what
footing we are upon." "As for me," said the other, " I would will-
ingly be tied up to the halbert, and receive a percentage in lashes,
for the liberty of changing my berth ; but I dare not either take
myself off or petition for my discharge, after having transcribed
such state secrets as have passed under my inspection. I might
chance to become too well acquainted with the tower of Segovia or
the castle of Alicant."
" How do you manage for a subsistence, then ?" said I. " You
must of course have means of your own." These they represented
as very slender; but that, fortunately for them, they lodged with a
kind-hearted widow, who boarded them on tick, at the rate of a
hundred pistoles a year for each. These anecdotes of a court life,
not one of which escaped me, completely ventilated all the rising
fumes of pride. It could not be supposed that more consideration
would be shown to me than to others, and consequently there was
nothing to be so puffed up with in my post ; there seemed to be
much cry and little wool— a discovery which rendered it expedient
to husband my finances with a narrower economy. A picture like
this was enough to cure my taste for treating. I repented not
having left these secretaries to find their own supper, for they
played a most cruel knife and fork at mine ; and, when the bill was
brought, I squabbled with the landlord about the charges.
We parted at midnight; and the early breaking up was to be laid
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 438
at my door, ; for I did not propose another bottle. They went home
to their widow, and I withdrew to my magnificent lodgings, which
I was now mad with myself for having taken, and was fully deter-
mined to give up at the mouth's end. My bed of down was now
converted into a couch of thorns ; Sleep had abandoned his narcotic
tenement, and sold the fee-simple of my repose to the demon of
eternal wakefulness. The remainder of the night was passed in
contriving not to serve the state too patriotically. For that pur-
pose I bethought me of Monteser's good counsel. I got up with
the intention of making my bow to Don Eodrigo de Calderona.
My present temper was just pat to the purpose of ingratiating my-
self with so high and mighty a gentleman, whose patronage was
indispensable to my existence. I therefore presented my person in
that secretary's antechamber.
His apartments communicated with the duke's, and rivalled them
in the lustre of their decorations. The field ofiicer could scarcely
be distinguished from the subaltern by any outward distinction in
his paraphernalia. I sent in my name as Don Valerio's successor ;
but that did not hinder me from being kept kicking my heels for a
good hour. " Trusty but novice ofiicer of the king," said I, while
ruminating on court manners, "learn a lesson of patience, if so
please you. You must begin with showing paces yourself, and
afterwards make others bite the bridle."
At length the door of the inner room opened. I went in, and
advanced towards Don Rodrigo, who had just been writing an
amorous epistle to his charming Siren, and was giving it to Pedrillo
at that very moment. I had never manufactured my face and air
into such a counterfeit of reverence before the Archbishop of
Granada, nor on my introduction to the Count de Galiano, nor
even in presence of the prime minister himself: the crisis of my
fawning was reserved for Signor de Calderona. I paid my respects
to him with my body bent down to the very ground, as if crouching
under the ken of a superior intelligence, and solicited his protection
in strains of humble hypocrisy, at which my cheek now burns with
shame, to think that man can so debase himself before his fellow-
man. My servility would have recoiled to my own undoing, had
it been practiced towards a compound of any manly and independ-
ent ingredients. As for this fellow, he swallowed flattery by the
lump without mastication, and assured me, just as if he meant
what he said, that he would leave no stone unturned to do me
service.
Hereupon, thanking him with unlimited expressions of attach-
ment for his kind and generous sentiments, I sold my very soul,
and all my little stock of conscience, to his free disposal. But as
28
4M ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
this farce might be tiresome if prolonged, I took my leave, apolo-
gizing for having broken in upon his more serious avocations. As
soon as I had finished this abominable scene, I slunk back to my
desk, where I finished my prescribed task. The duke was at my
elbow the next morning. The end of my performance was not less
to his mind than the beginning ; and he praised it accordingly :
"This is extremely well indeed 1 Copy this abridgment in your
best hand into the register of Catalonia. You shall not want em-
ployment of this kind." I had a very long conversation with his
excellency, and was delighted at his mild and familiar deportment.
What a contrast to Calderona ! They might have sat to a painter
for Pan and Apollo.
To-day I dined at a cheap ordinary, and sunk the secretary upon
my messmates, till I should ascertain what solid profit might accrje
from all my bows and scrapes I had funds for three months, or
thereabouts. That Interval I allowed myself for casting my bread
upon the waters. But as the shortest speculations are the safest, if
my salary was not paid by that time, a long farewell to the court, its
frippery, and its falsehood ! Thus were my plans arranged. For
two months I labored hard and fast to stand well with Calderona ;
but his senses were so callous to all my assiduity, that it seemed
labor in vain to build on so hopeless a foundation. This idea pro-
duced a change in my conduct. I left some greener fool to fumigate
the nostrils of this idol, and placed all my own dependence on
making my ground sure with the duke, by the benefit of our frequent
conferences.
CHAPTER IV.
en, BLAS BECOMES A FAVOEITE WITH THE DUKE OF LEBMA, AOT) THE
CONFIDANT OF AN IMPOETANT SECBET.
THOUGH his grace's interviews with me were short as the fleet-
ing visions of supernatural communication, my turn and char-
acter won its way gradually into his excellency's good liking. One
day after dinner, he said, " Attend to me, Gil Bias. I really like you
very much. You are a zealous, confidential lad, full of understand-
ing and discretion. My trust cannot be misplaced in such hands."
I threw myself at his feet at these words, and kissing his hand,
answered thus : " Is it possible that your excellency can think so
favorably of your servant? What a host of enemies will such a pre-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 43*
ference conjure up against me ! But Don Rodrigo is the only man
whose privy grudge is formidable enough to alarm me."
" You have nothing to fe^r from that quarter," replied the duke.
"I know Calderona. He has loved me from his cradle. Every
movement of his heart is in unison with mine. He cherishes what-
ever I love, and hates in exact proportion to my dislike. So far
from being alarmed at his ill will, you ought, on the contrary, to
hug yourself on his peculiar partiality." This let me at once into
the abysses of Don Eodrigo's character. He shuffled and cut the
cards to his own deal, and paid his debts of honor out of his excel-
lency's pool. One could not be too wary with this gentleman.
" To begin," piirsued the duke, " with a proof of my thorough re-
liance on your faith, I will open to you a long-projected design. It
is necessary for you to be informed of it, to qualify you fof the com-
missions with which I shall hereafter have occasion to intrust you.
For a great length of time have I beheld my authority universally re-
spected, my decisions implicitly adopted, places, pensions, govern-
ments, viceroyalties, and church preferments, all awaiting my dis-
posal. Without umbrage to my royal master, I may be said to be
absolute in Spain. My individual fortunes can be pushed no higher.
But I would willingly fix firm the structure I have raised, for the
storms are already beginning to beat about the citadel of my peace.
My only safety must consist in nominating my nephew, the Count
de Lemos, as my successor in the ministry."
This profound courtier, observing my astonishment, went on thus :
"I see plainly, Santillane, I see plainly what surprises you. It
seems strange and unaccountable that I should prefer my nephew to
my own son, the Duke d'Uzeda. But you are to learn that this last
has too narrow a genius to fill up my place in politics ; and there
are other reasons why I set my face against him. He has found out
the secret of making himself agreeable to the king, who wants him
for his interior cabinet; and back stairs influence is what I cannot
bear. Royal favor is a sort of political mistress ; exclusive posses-
sion is its only charm. The very existence of the passion is identi-
fied with inextinguishable jealousy ; nor can we the better endure
to share the bliss because our rival has been nursed in our own
bosom.
"Thus do I lay bare the very recesses of my soul. I have already
tried to ruin the Duke d'Uzeda with the king ; but having failed,
am pointing my artillery towards another object. I am determined
that the Count de Lemos shall stand first with the Prince of Spain.
Being gentleman of his bed-chamber, he has opportunities of talking
with him continually; and, besides that he has a winning manner
with him, I know a sure method of enabling him to succeed in his
436 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
enterprise. By this device my nephew will be pitted against my
son. The cousins, harboring unfavorable suspicions of each other,
will both be forced to place themselves under my protection ; and
the necessity of the case will render them submissive to my will.
This is my project ; nor will your assistance be of slender avail to
its success. It is you whom I shall make the private channel of
communication between the Count de Lemos and myself."
After this confidence, which sounded, for all the world, like the
clink of current coin, my mind was easy about the future. " At
length," said I, " behold me taking shelter under Plutus' gutter ;
the golden shower may drench me to the skin before I shall cry,
Hold, enough 1 It is impossible that the bosom friend of a man by
whom the whole music of the political machine is tempered should
be left to thrum upon the discord of poverty." Full of these har-
monious visions, my fifths and octaves wgre but little untuned by
the sensible declension of my purse.
CHAPTER V.
THE JOYS, THE HONORS, AND THE MISERIES OF A COURT LIFE, IN
THE PERSON OF GIL BLAS.
THE miriister's growing partiality towards me was soon noticed.
He displayed it ostentatiously, by committing his portfolio to
my custody, which it was his habit to carry in his own hand when
he went to council. This novelty causing me to be looked upon as
a rising favorite, excited the envy of certain persons, so that I was
preciously sprinkled with the hellish dew of court malevolence. My
two neighbors the secretaries were not the last to compliment me on
my budding honors, and invited me to supper at the A^idow's, not so
much by way of returning my hospitality, as with an eye to business
in the cultivation of my acquaintance. Parties were made for me
everywhere. Even the haughty Don Rodrigo was cap-in-hand to
me. He now called me nothing less than Signor de Santillane,
though the moon had scarcely changed her face since he thee'd and
thou'd me, without ever bethinking him that he was talking to
something above a pauper. He heaped me up and pressed me down
with civilities, especially within eyeshot of our common patron.
But the fool was wiser than to be caught with chaff. The good-
breeding of my returns was nicely proportioned to my thorough
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 437
detestation of my humble servant ; a rascal who had lived in court
all his life could not have played the rascal better than I did.
I likewise accompanied my lord duke when he had an audience
of the king, which was usually three times a day. In the morning
he went into his majesty's chamber as soon as he was awake. There
he dropped down on his marrow-bones by the bedside, talked over
what was to be done in the course of the day, and put into the royal
mouth the speeches the royal tongue was to make. He then with-
drew. After dinner he came back again, not for state affairs, but
for what, what? and a little gossip. He was well instructed in all
the tittle-tattle of Madrid, which was sold to him at the earliest of
the season. Lastly, in the evening he saw the king again for the
third time, put whatever color he pleased on the transactions of the
day, and, as a matter of course, requested his iristructions for the
morrow. While he was with the king, I kept in the antechamber,
where people of the first quality, sinking that they might rise, threw
themselves in the way of my observation, and thought the day not
lost if I had deigned to exchange a few words of common civility
with them. Was it to be wondered at if my self-importance fattened
upon such food ? There are many folks at court who stalk about on
stilts of much frailer materials.
One day my vanity was still more highly pamp^ered. The king,
to whom the duke had puffed off my style, was curious to see a sam-
ple of it. His excellency made me bring the register of Catalonia
and myself into the royal presence, telling me to read the first
memorial I had digested. If so catholic a critic overpowered my
modesty at first, the minister's encouragement recalled my scattered
spirits, and I read with good tone and emphasis what his majesty
deigned to hear with some symptoms of approbation. He spoke
handsomely of my performance, and recommended my fortunes to
the especial care of his minister. My humility was not the greater
for the augmentation of my consequence, and a particular conversa-
tion some days afterwards with the Count de Lemos swelled high
the springtide of all my ambitious anticipations.
I waited on that nobleman from his uncle at the Prince of Spain's
court, and presented credentials from the duke, directing him to
deal unreservedly with me, as with a man who was embarked in
their design, and selected by himself exclusively as their go-
between. The count then took me to a room, where he locked the
door, and then spoke as follows :— " Since you are confidential with
the Duke of Lerma, I doubt not you deserve to be so, and shall un-
bosom myself to you without hesitation. You are to know that
matters go on just as we could wish. The Prince of Spain distin-
guishes me above the most assiduous of his courtiers. I had a pri-
438 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
vate conversation with him this morning, wherein he expressed
some disgust at being restrained by the king's avarice from follow-
ing the inclinations of his liberal heart, and living on a scale befit-
ting his august rank. On this head I chimed in with his regrets,
and, taking advantage of the opportunity, promised to carry him a
thousand pistoles early to-morrow morning, as an earnest of larger
sums with which I have engaged to feed his necessities forthwith.
He was in ecstasy at my promises, and I am certain of securing hi«
grace and favor in tail, if I can but fulfill my engagement. Acquaint
my uncle with these particulars, and come back in the evening with
hie sentiments on the subject."
I left the Count de Lemos with the last words still quivering on
his lips, and went back to the Duke of Lerma, who, on my report,
sent to ask Calderona for a thousand pistoles, which he charged me
to carry to the count in the evening. Away went I on my errand,
muttering to myself, " So, so, now I have discovered the minister's
infallible receipt for the cure of all evils. Faith and troth, he is in
the right, and to all appearance he may draw as copiously as he
pleases from the spring, without exhausting the source. I can easily
guess what bag these pistoles come from ; but, after all, is it not the
order of nature that the parent should nurture and maintain the
child ?" The Count de Lemos, at our parting, said to me, in a low
voice, " Farewell, my good and worthy friend. The Prince of Spain
has a little hankering after the women ; we must have a little con-
versation on that subject one of these days ; I foresee that your
agency will be very applicable on that head." I returned with my
head full of this last hint, which it was impossible to misinterpret.
Neither did I wish to do so, for it suited my talents to a nicety.
" What the devil is to happen next?" said I. "Behold me on the
point of becoming pimp to the heir of the monarchy." Whether
pimping was a virtue or a vice, I did not stop to inquire ; the
coarse surtout of morality would have worn but shabbily while the
passions of so exalted a gallant were in the glare and glow of all
their newest gloss. What a promotion for me, to be the provider of
pleasure to a great prince I " Fair and softly, Master Gil Bias,"
some one may say ; " after all, you will be but second minister."
May be so ; but at the bottom the honor of both these posts is
equal ; the difference lies in the profit only.
While executing these honorable commissions, and getting for-
ward daily in the good graces of the prime minister, what a happy
being should I have been, if statesmen were born with a set of in-
testines to turn the chameleon's diet into chyle ! It was more than
two months since I had got rid of my grand lodging, and had taken
up my quarters in a little room scarcely good enough for a banker's
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 489
clerk. Though this was not quite as it should be, yet since I went
out betimes in the morning, and never returned at night before bed-
time, there was not much to quarrel about on that score. All day I
was the hero of my own stage, or rather of the duke's. It was a prin-
cipal part that I was playing. But when I retired from this brilliant
theatre to my own cockloft, the great lord vanished, and poor Gil
Bias was left behind, without a royal image in his pocket, and, what
was worse, without the means of conjuring up his glorious resem-
blance. Besides that it would have wounded my pride to have
divulged my necessities, there was not a creature of my acquaint-
ance who could have assisted me but Navarro ; and him I had too
palpably neglected, since my introduction at court, to venture on
soliciting his benevolence. I had been obliged to sell my wardrobe
article by article. There was nothing more left than was absolutely
necessary to make a decent appearance. I no longer went to the
ordinary, because I had no longer wherewithal to pay my score.
How, then, did I make shift to keep body and soul together ? There
was every morning, in our offices, a scanty breakfast set out, con-
sisting of a little bread and wine ; this was the whole of our com-
mons on the minister's establishment. I never knew what it was to
exceed this stint during the day, and at night I most frequently went
supperless to bed.
Such was the fare of a man who made a splendid figure at court ;
but his illustrious fortunes, like those of other courtiers, were more
a subject of pity than of grudge. I could no longer resist the pres-
sure of my circumstances, and ultimately resolved on their disclosure
at a seasonable opportunity. By good luck such an occasion offered
at the Escurial, whither the king and the Prince of Spain re-
moved some days afterwards.
CHAPTEE VI.
GIL BLAS GIVES THE DUKE OF LERMA A HINT OF HIS CONDITION.
THAT MINISTER DEALS WITH HIM ACCORDINGLY.
WHEN the king kept his court at the Escurial, all the world
was at free quarters : under such easy circumstances I did
not feel where the saddle galled. My bed was in a wardrobe near
the duke's chamber. One morning that minister, having got up,
according to his cursed custom, at daybreak, made me take my
440 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
writing apparatus and follow him into the palace gardens. We
went and sat down under an avenue of trees ; myself, as he would
have it, in the posture of a man writing on the crown of his hat; his
attitude was with a paper in his hand, and any one would have
supposed he hah heen reading. At some distance, we must have
looked as if the scale of Europe was to turn upon our decision ;
but between ourselves, who partook of it, the talk was miserably
trifling.
For more than an hour had I been tickling his excellency's fancy
with all the conceits engendered by a merry nature and an eccentric
course of life, when two magpies perched on the trees above us.
Their clack and clatter was so obstreperous as to force our atten-
tion, whether we would or no. " These birds," said the duke, " seem
to be in dudgeon with one another. I should like to learn the cause
of their quarrel." " My lord," said I, " your curiosity reminds me
of an Indian story in Pilpay, or some other fabulist." The min-
ister insisted on the particulars, and I related them in the following
terms : —
There reigned in Persia a good monarch, who, not being blessed
with capacities of sufficient compass to govern his dominions in his
own person, left the care of them to his grand vizier. That minister,
whose name was Atalmuc, was possessed of first-rate talents. He
supported the weight of that unwieldy monarchy without sinking
under the burden. He preserved it in profound peace. His art
consisted in uniting the love of the royal authority with the rever-
ence of it ; while the people at large looked up to the vizier as to an
affectionate father, though a devoted servant of his prince. Atalmuc
had a young Cachemirian among his secretaries, by name Zeangir,
to whom he was particularly attached. He took pleasure in his con-
versation, invited him frequently to the chase, and opened to him
his most secret thoughts. One day. as they were hunting together
in a wood, the vizier, at the croaking of two ravens on a tree, said to
his secretary, " I should like to know what those birds are talking
about in their jargon." " My lord," answered the Cachemirian,
" your wishes may be fulfilled." " Indeed ! How so?" replied Atal-
muc. " Because," rejoined Zeangir, " a dervis, read in many mys-
teries, has taught me the language of birds. If you wish it, I will
lay my ear close to these, and will repeat to you, word for word,
whatever they may happen to say."
The vizier agreed to the proposal. The Cachemirian got near the
ravens, and affected to suck in their discourse. Then, returning to
his master, "My lord," said he, "would you believe it? We are
ourselves the topic of their talk." " Impossible !" exclaimed the
Persian minister. " Prithee now, what do they say of us ?" " On©
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 441
of the two," replied the secretary, " spoke thus : ' Here he is, the
very man ; the grand vizier, Atalmuc, tlie guardian eagle of Persia,
hovering over her like the parent bird over its nest, watching with-
out intermission for the safety of its brood. For the purpose of
unbending from his wearisome toils, he is hunting in this wood with
his faithful Zeangir. How happy must that secretary be to serve
so partial and indulgent a master I' * Fair and softly,' observed the
other raven shrewdly, ' fair and softly I Make not too much parade
about that Cachemirian's happiness. Atalmuc, it is true, talks and
jokes familiarly with him, honors him with his confidence, and may
very possibly intend to signalize his friendship by a lucrative post;
but between the cup and the lip Zeangir may perish with thirst.
The poor devil lodges in a ready-furnished apartment, where there
is not an article of furniture for his use. In a word, he leads a
starving life, with all the paraphernalia of a plump-fed courtier.
The grand vizier never troubles his head about inquiring into the
right or wrong of his affairs, but, satisfied with empty good wishes
towards him, leaves his favorite within the ruthless gripe of pov-
erty.' "
I stopped here to see how the Duke of Lerma would take it ; and
he asked mg, with a smile, what effect the fable had produced on
the mind of Atalmuc, and whether the grand vizier had not felt a
little offended at his secretary's presumption. " No, my noble lord,"
answered I, with some little embarrassment at the question ; " his-
torians say that his ingenuity was amply rewarded." "He was more
lucky than discreet," replied the duke, with a serious air ; " there
are some ministers who would esteem it no joke to be lectured at
that rate. But the king will not be long before he is getting up ;
my duty demands my attendance." After this hint he walked off
with hasty strides towards the palace, without throwing away a
word more upon me, and to all appearance in high dudgeon at my
Indian parable.
I followed hira up to the very door of his majesty's chamber, and
went thence to arrange my papers in the places whence they had
been taken. Then I entered a closet where our two copying secre-
taries were at work ; for they also were of the migratory party.
" What is the matter with you, Signor de Santillane ?" said they at
the sight of me. " You are quite down in the mouth ! Has any-
thing untoward happened ?"
I was too much mortified at the ill success of my narrative to be
cautious in the expression of my grief. On the recital of what had
passed with the duke, they sympathized in my disappointment.
" You have some reason- to fret," said one of them. " Heaven grant
that you may be better treated than a secretary of Cardinal Spinosa.
442 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
The unlucky secretary, tired of working for fifteen months without
pay, took the liberty of representing his necessities to his eminence
one afternoon, and of asking for a little money towards his subsist-
ence. ' It is very proper,' said the minister, * that you should be
paid. Here,' pursued he, putting into his hands an order on the
royal treasury for a thousand ducats ; ' go and receive that sum ;
but take notice at the same time that it balances accounts between
us.' The secretary would have pocketed his thousand ducats with-
out remorse had the thousand ducats been tangible, and the liberty
of changing service secure ; but just as he stepped down from the
cardinal's threshold, he was tapped on the shoulder by an alguazil,
and carried away to the tower of Segovia, where he has been a pris-
oner for a length of time."
This little historical anecdote set my teeth chattering. All was
lost and gone I There was no comfort from within nor from with-
out ! My own impatience had been my ruin ! just as if I had not
borne starving till patience could avail no longer. "Alas !" said I,
"wherefore must I have blurted out that ill-starred fable, which
went so much against the grain of the minister ? He might have
been just on the point of extricating me from all my miseries ; it
might have been the moment of that tide in the afiairs of men which
sets in for sudden and enormous elevation. What wealth, what
honors have slipped through the fingers by my blunder I I ought
to have been aware that great folks do not love to be forestalled,
but require the common privileges of elementary subsistence to be
received as favors at their hands. It would have been more prudent
to have kept my lenten entertainment longer without bothering the
duke about it, and even to have died with hunger, that he might be
blamed for letting me."
Supposing any hope to have remained, my master, when I saw
him after dinner, put an extinguisher over it at once. He was very
serious with me, contrary to his usual custom, and spoke scarcely at
all — an omen of dire dismay for the remainder of the evening. The
night did not pass more tranquilly ; the chagrin of seeing my
agreeable illusions vanish, and the fear of swelling the calendar of
state prisoners, left no room but for sighs and lamentations.
The following was the critical day. The duke sent for me in the
morning. I went into his chamber, with the ague fit of a criminal
before his judge. " Santillane," said he, showing me a paper in his
hand, " take this order." ... I shuddered at the word order, and
said within myself, " O heaven I here is the Cardinal Spinosa over
again; the carriage is ordered out for Segovia." Such was my
alarm at this moment, that I interrupted the minister, and throwing
myself at his feet, " May it please yoiu lordship," said I, bathed in
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ' 443
tears, " I most humbly beseech your excellency to forgive me for my
boldness; necessity alone impelled me to acquaint you with my
wretched circumstances."
The duke could not help laughing at my distress. " Be comforted,
Gil Bias," answered he, " and hearken attentively. Though by be-
traying your necessities a reproach lights upon me for not having
prevented them, I do not take it ill, my friend. I rather ought to
be angry with myself for not having inquired how you were going
on. But to begin making amends for my want of attention, there
is an order on the royal treasury for fifteen hundred ducats, payable
at sight. This is not all ; I promise you the same sum annually ;
and moreover, when people of rank and substance shall solicit
your interest, I have no objection to your addressing me on their
behalf."
In the excess of joy occasioned by such tidings, I kissed the feet
of the minister, who, having commanded me to rise, continued in
familiar conversation. I endeavored to rally my free and easy
humor ; but the transition from sorrow to rapture was too instanta-
neous to be natural. I felt as comical as a culprit, with a pardon
singing in his ears, just when he was on the point of being launched
into eternity. My master attributed all my flurry to the sole dread
of having offended him ; though the fear of perpetual imprisonment
had its share of influence on my nerves. He owned that he had
affected to look cool, to see whether I should be hurt at the altera-
tion ; that thereby he formed his opinion with respect to the liveli-
ness of my attachment to his person, and that his own regard for
me would always be proportionate.
CHAPTER VII.
A GOOD XTSE MADE OF THE FIFTEEN HUNDRED DUCATS. FIRST INTRO-
DUCTION TO THE TRADE OF OFFICE.
THE king, as if on purpose to play into the hands of my impa-
tience, returned to Madrid the very next day. I flew like a
harpy to the royal treasury, where they paid me down upon the
nail the sum drawn for in my order. Ambition and vanity now
obtained complete empire over my soul. My paltry lodging was
fit only for secretaries of an inferior cast, unpracticed in the myste-
rious language of birds ; for which reason, my grand suite of apart-
444 • ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
ments fortunately being vacant, I engaged them for the second
time. My next business was to send for an eminent tailor, who
arrayed the pretty persons of all the fine gentlemen in town. He
took my measure, and then introduced me to a draper, who sold me
five ells of cloth, the exact quantity, as he said, to make a suit for
a man of my size. Five ells for a light Spanish dress ! Whither
did this draper and tailor expect to go ? . . . But we must not be
uncharitable. Tailors who have a reputation to support require
more materials for the exercise of their genius than the vulgar
snippers of the shopboard. I then bought some linen, of which I
was very bare, an assortment of silk stockings, and a laced hat.
With such an equipage, there was no doing without a footman ;
so that I desired Vincent Ferrero, my landlord, to look out for one.
Most of the foreigners who were recommended to his lodgings, on
their arrival at Madrid, were wont to hire Spanish servanst ; and
this was the means of turning his house into a register office. The
first who offered was a lad of so mortified and devotional an aspect
that I would have nothing to say to him ; he put me in mind of
Ambrose de Lamela. " I am quite out of conceit," said I to Fer-
rero, " with these pious coat-brushers ; I have been taken in by
them already."
I had scarcely turned virtue in a livery out of doors, when another
came up stairs. This seemed to be a good sprightly fellow, with as
little mock modesty as if he had been bred at court, and a certain
something about him which indicated that he did not carry, prin-
ciple to any dangerous excess. He was just to my mind. His
answers to my questions were pat and to the purpose : he evinced a
talent for intrigue beyond my most sanguine hopes. This was ex-
actly the subject for my purpose ; so I fixed him at once. Neither
had I any reason to repent of my bargain ; for it was very soon evi-
dent that farther off I must have fared worse. As the duke had
allowed me to solicit on behalf of my friends, and it was my design
to push that permission to the utmost, a stanch hound- was neces-
sary to put up the game ; or, in phrase familiar to dull capacities,
an active chap, with a turn for routing out and bringing to my
market all palm-tickling petitioners for the loaves and fishes of the
prime minister. This was just where Scipio shone most (for my
servant's name was Scipio). He had lived last with Donna Anna
de Guevara, the Prince of Spain's nurse, where he had ample scope
for the exercise of that accomplishment.
As soon as he became acquainted with my credit at court, and the
use to which I meant to put it, he took the field like his great ances-
tors, and began the campaign without the loss of a day. " Master,"
said he, "a young gentleman of Granada is just come to Madrid;
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 445
his name is Don Roger de Rada. He has been engaged in an affair
of honor which compels him to throw himself on the Duke of
Lerma's protection, and he is well disposed to come down hand-
somely for any grace and favor he may obtain. I have talked with
him on the subject. He had a mind to have made friends with Don
Rodrigo de Calderona, whose influence had been represented to him
in magnificent terms ; but I dissuaded him, by pointing out that
secretary's method of selling his good ofiices for more than their
weight in gold ; whereas, on the contrary, you would be satisfied
with any decent expression of gratitude for yours, and would even
do the business for the mere pleasure of doing it, if you were in
circumstances to follow the bent of your own generous and disin-
terested temper. In short, I talked to him in such a strain, that
you will see the gentleman early to-morrow morning." " How is
all this. Master Scipio?" said I. "You must have transacted a
great deal of business in a short time. You are no novice in back-
stairs influence. It is very strange that you have not feathered
your own nest." " That ought not to surprise you at all," answered
he. " I love to make money circulate, not to hoard it up."
Don Roger de Rada came according to his appointment. I re-
ceived him with a mixture of courtly plausibility and ministerial
pride. " My worthy sir," said I, " before I engage in your interests,
I wish to know the nature of the affair which brings you to court ;
because it may be such as to preclude me from speaking to the min-
ister in your favor. Give me, therefore, if you please, the particulars
faithfully, and rest assured that I shall enter warmly into your in-
terest, if they are proper to be espoused by a man who moves in my
sphere." My young client promised to be sincere in his representa-
tion, and began his narrative in the following words.
CHAPTER VIIL
HISTORY OF DON EOGEK DE EADA.
" ~r^ON Anastasio de Rada, a gentleman of Granada, was
1 J living happily in the town of Antequera, with Donna Este-
phania his wife, who united every charm of person and mind with
the most unquestionable virtue. If her affection was lively towards
her husband, his love for her was violent beyond all bounds. He
was naturally prone to jealousy ; and though wantonness could
446 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
never assume such a semblance as his wife's, his thoughts were not
quite at rest upon the subject. He was apprehensive lest some
secret enemy to his repose might make some attempt upon his
honor. His eye was turned askance upon all his friends, except
Don Huberto de Hordales, who frequented the house without suspi-
cion in quality of Estephania's cousin, and was the only man in
whom he ought not to have confided.
" Don Huberto did actually fall in love with his cousin, and ven-
tured to make his sentiments known, in contempt of consanguinity
and the ties of friendship. The lady, who was considerate, instead
of making an outcry which might have led to fatal consequences,
reproved her kinsman gently, represented to him the extreme crim-
inality of attempting to seduce her and dishonor her husband, and
told him very seriously that he must not flatter himself with the
most distant hope.
" This moderation only inflamed the seducer's appetite the more.
Taking it for granted that, as a woman who had been accustomed
to save appearances, she only wanted to be more strongly urged, he
began to adopt little freedoms of more warmth than delicacy, and had
the assurance one day to put the question home to her. She re-
pulsed him with unbridled indignation, and threatened to refer the
punishment of his offence to Don Anastasio. Her suitor, alarmed
at such an intimation, promised to drop the subject; and Este-
phania, in the candor of her soul, forgave him for the past.
" Don Huberto, a man totally devoid of principle, could not feel
his passion to be foiled without entertaining a mean spirit of re-
venge. He knew the weak side of Don Aiiastasio's temper. This
was enough to engender the blackest design that ever scoundrel
plotted. One evening, as he was walking alone with this misguided
husband, he said, with an air of extreme uneasiness, 'My dear
friend, I can no longer live without unburdening my mind ; and yet
I would be forever silent but that you value honor far above a
treacherous repose. Your acute feelings and my own, on points
which concern domestic injuries, forbid me to conceal what is pass-
ing in your family. Prepare to hear what will occasion you as
much grief as astonishment. I am going to wound you in the ten-
derest part.'
" ' 1 know what you mean,' interrupted Don Anastasio, in the
first burst of agony; 'your cousin is unfaithful.' 'I no longer
acknowledge her for my cousin,' replied Hordales, with impassioned
vehemence ; ' I disown her, as unworthy to share my friend's em-
braces.' ' This is keeping me too long upon the rack,' exclaimed
Don Anastasio: 'say on; what has Estephania done?' 'She has
betrayed you,' replied Don Huberto. ' You have a rival to whom
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 4*7
she listens in private, but I cannot give you his name, for the adul-
terer, under favor of impenetrable darkness, has escaped the ken of
those who watched him. All I know is that you are duped : of that
fact I am well assured. My own share in the disgrace is a sufficient
pledge of my veracity. Her infidelity must be palpable indeed
when I turn Estephania's accuser.
" ' It is to no purpose,' continued he, watching the successful im-
pression of his discourse, — * it is to no purpose to discuss the subject
further. I perceive your indignation at the treacherous requital of
your love, and your thoughts all aiming at a just revenge. Take
your own course. Heed not in what relation to you your victim
may stand, but convince the whole city that there is no earthly
being whom you would not sacrifice to your honor.'
" Thus did the traitor exasperate a too credulous husband against
an innocent wife, depicting in such glowing colors the infamy in
which he would be plunged, if he left the insult unpunished, as to
heighten his anger into madness. Behold Don Anastasio with his
mind completely overturned, as if goaded by the Furies. He re-
turned homewards with the frantic design of murdering his ill-fated
wife. She was just going to bed when he came in. He kept his
passion under for a time, and waited till the attendants had with-
drawn. Then, unrestrained by the fear of vengeance from above,
by the vulgar scorn which must recoil upon an honorable family,
by natural aflfection for his unborn child, — since his wife was near
her time, — he approached his victim, and said to her, in a furious
tone of voice, 'Now is your hour to die, wretch as you are! One
moment only is your own, which my relenting pity leaves you to
make your peace with Heaven. I would not that your soul should
perish eternally, though your earthly honor is forever lost.*^
** At these words he drew his dagger. Estephania, almost speech-
less with terror, throwing herself at his feet, besought him, with
uplifted hands and inarticulate agony, to tell her why he raised his
arm against her life. If he suspected her fidelity, she called Heaven
to attest her innocence.
"*In vain, in vain,' replied the infuriated murderer; 'your
treason is but too well proved. My information is not to be con-
tradicted. Don Huberto' . . . 'Ah! my lord,' interrupted she
with eager haste, 'you must hold your trust aloof from Don
Huberto. He is less your friend than you imagine. If he has said
aught against my virtue, believe him not.' * Restrain that infamous
tongue,' replied Don Anastasio. ' By appealing against Hordales,
you condemn yourself. You would ruin your relation in my esteem,
because he is acquainted with your misconduct. You would invali-
date his evidence against you ; but the artifice is palpable, and only
448 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLA8.
whets my appetite for vengeance.' ' My dear husband,' rejoined the
innocent Estephania, while her tears flowed in torrents, ' beware of
this blind rage. If you follow its instigation, you will perpetrate a
deed for which you will hate yourself, when convinced of its in-
justice. In the name of Heaven, compose your disordered spirits.
At least give me time to clear up your suspicions ; you will then
deal candidly by a wife who has nothing to reproach herself with.'
" Any other than Don Anastasio would have been touched by her
pleadings, and still more by her agonizing affliction ; but the bar-
barian, far from being softened, ordered the lady once again to re-
commend herself briefly to mercy, and lifted his arm to strike the
blow. ' Hold, inhuman as you are !' cried she. ' If your love for
me is as if it had never been, if my lavish fondness in return is all
blotted from your memory, if my tears have no eloquence to disarm
your hellish purpose, have some pity on your own blood. Launch
not your frantic hand against an innocent who has not yet breathed
this vital air. You cannot be its executioner without the curse of
Heaven and earth. As for myself, I can forgive my murderer ; but
the butcher of his own child — think deeply of it ! — must pay the
dreadful forfeit of so detestable a deed.'
" Determined as Don Anastasio was to pay no attention to any-
thing Estephania could say, he could not help being afiected by the
frightful images these last words presented to his soul. Wherefore,
as if apprehensive lest nature should play the traitress to revenge,
he hastened to make sure of his staggering resolves, and plunged his
dagger into her bosom. She fell motionless on the ground. He
thought her dead, and on that supposition left his house imme-
diately, to be no more seen at Antequera.
" In the meantime, the unhappy victim of groundless suspicion
was so stunned with the blow she had received as to remain for a
short interval on the ground without any signs of life. Afterwards,
coming to herself, she brought an old female servant to her assist-
ance by her plaints and lamentations. That good old woman, behold-
ing her mistress in so deplorable a state, waked the whole household,
and even the neighborhood, by her cries. The room was soon filled
with spectators. Surgical assistance was sent for. The wound was
probed, and pronounced not to be mortal. Their opinion turned out
to be correct, for Estephania soon recovered, and was in due time
delivered of a son, notwithstanding the cruel circumstances in which
she had been placed. That son. Signer Gil Bias, you behold in me ;
I am the fruit of that dreadful pregnancy.
" Women, when chaste as ice, when pure as snow, seldom escape
calumny: this plague, however, though virtue's dowry, did not
alight upon my mother. The bloody scene passed, in common fame,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 449
for the transport of a jealous husband. My father, it is true, bore
the character of a passionate man, prone to kindle into fury on the
slightest occasion. Hordales could not but suppose that his kins-
woman must suspect him of having sown wild fancies in the mind
of Don Anastasio, so that he satisfied himself with this imperfect
relish of revenge, and ceased to importune her. But, not to be
tedious, I shall pass over the detail of my education. Suffice it to
say, that my principal exercise was fencing, which I practiced rcg'
ularly in the most famous schools of Granada and Seville. My
mother waited with impatience till I was of age to measure swords
with Don Huberto, that she might instruct me in the grounds of
her complaint against him. In my eighteenth year, she submitted
her cause to my arbitrament, not without floods of tears, and every
symptom of the deepest anguish. What must not a son feel, if he
has the spirit and the heart of a son, at the sight of a mother in
such distressing circumstances ? I went immediately and called out
Hordales ; our place of meeting was private, as it should be ; we
fought long and furiously ; three of my thrusts took eflect, and I
threw him to the ground, like a dead dog despised.
" Don Huberto, feeling his wound to be mortal, fixed his last
looks upon me, and declared that he met his death at my hands as
a just punishment for his treason against my mother's honor. He
owned that in revenge for the pangs of despised love he had re-
solved on her ruin. Thus did he breathe his last, imploring pardon
from Heaven, from Don Anastasio, from Estephania, and from my-
self I deemed it imprudent to return home and acquaint my
mother of the issue ; fame was sure to perform that office for me.
I passed the mountains, and repaired to Malaga, where I embarked
on board a privateer. My outside not altogether indicating cow-
ardice, the captain consented at once to enroll me among his crew.
" We were not long before we went into action. Near the island
of Alboutan, a corsair of Millila fell in with us, on his return
towards the African coast with a Spanish vessel richly laden, taken
off Carthagena. We attacked the African briskly, and made our-
selves masters of both ships, with eighty Christians on board, going
as slaves to Barbary. Afterwards, availing ourselves of a wind
direct for the coast of Granada, we shortly arrived at Punta de
Helena.
"While we were inquiring into the birthplace and condition of
our rescued captives, a man about fifty, of prepossessing aspect, fell
under my examination. He stated himself, with a sigh, to belong to
Antequera. My heart palpitated, without my knowing why ; and my
emotion, too strong to pass unnoticed, excited a visible sympathy in
him. I avowed myself his townsman, and asked his family name.
29
450 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
'Alasl' answered he, 'your curiosity makes my sorrow flow afresh.
Eighteen years ago did I leave my home, where my remembrance is
coupled with scenes of blood and horror. You must yourself have
heard but too much of my story. My name is Don Anastasio de
Bada.' * Merciful heaven !' exclaimed I ; ' may I believe my
senses ? And can this be Don Anastasio ? Father I' ' What is
it you say, young man?' exclaimed he, in his turn, with surprise
and agitation equal to my own. 'Are you that ill-fated infant still
in its mother's womb when I sacrificed her to my fury ?' ' Yes,'
said I ; ' none other did the virtuous Estephania bring into the
world, after the fatal night when you left her weltering in her own
blood.'
" Don Anastasio stifled my words in his embraces. For a quarter
of an hour we could only mingle our inarticulate sighs and exclam-
ations. After exhausting our tender recollections, and indulging in
the wild expression of our feelings, my father lifted his eyes to
heaven, in gratitude for Estephania saved ; but the next moment,
as if doubtful of his bliss, he demanded by what evidence his wife's
innocence had been cleared. ' Sir,' answered I, ' none but yourself
ever doubted it. Her conduct has been uniformly spotless. You
must be undeceived. Know that Don Huberto was a traitor.' In
proof of this I unfolded all his perfidy, the vengeance I had taken,
and his own confession before he expired.
" My father was less delighted at his liberty restored than at these
happy tidings. In the forgetfulness of ecstasy, he repeated all his
former transports. His approbation of me was ardent and entire.
' Come, my son,' said he, ' let us set out for Antequera. I burn with
impatience to throw myself at the feet of a wife whom I have treated
so unworthily. Since you have brought me acquainted with my own
injustice, my heart has been torn by remorse.'
" I was too eager to bring together a couple so near and dear to
me, not to expedite our journey as much as possible. I quitted the
privateer, and with my share of prize money bought two mules at
Adra, my father not choosing again to incur the hazard of a voyage.
He found leisure on the road to relate his adventures, which I in-
clined to hear as seriously as did the Prince of Ithaca the various
recitals of the king his father. At length, after several days, we
halted at the foot of a mountain near Antequera. Wishing to reach
home privately, we went not into the town till midnight.
" You may guess my mother's astonishment at beholding a hus-
band whom she had thought forever lost ; and the almost miraculous
circumstances of his restoration were a second source of wonder.
He entreated forgiveness for his barbarity with marks of repentance
80 lively that she could not but be moved. Instead of looking on
ADVENTVKES OF GIL BLAS. 451
him as a murderer, she only saw the man to whose will high Heaven
had subjected her ; such religion is there in the name of husband
to a virtuous wife ! Estephania had been so alarmed about me that
my return filled her with rapture. But her joy on this account was
not without alleviation. A sister of Hordales had instituted a crim-
inal prosecution against her brother's antagonist. The search for
me was hot, so that my mother, considering home as insecure, was
painfully anxious about me. It was therefore necessary to set out
that very night for court, whither I come to solicit my pardon, and
hope to obtain it by your generous intercession with the prime
minister."
The gallant son of Don Anastasio thus closed his narrative ; after
which I observed, with a self-sufficient physiognomy, " It is well,
Signor Don Eoger ; the ofience seems to me to be venial. I will
undertake to lay the case before his excellency, and may venture to
promise you his protection." The thanks my client lavished would
have passed in at one ear and out at the other, if they had not been
backed by assurances of more substantial gratitude. But when once
that string was touched, every nerve and fibre of my frame vibrated
in unison. On the very same day did I relate the whole story to
the duke, who allowed me to present the gentleman, and addressed
him thus : " Don Roger, I have been informed of the duel which
has brought you to court : Santillane has laid all the particulars
before me. Malje yourself perfectly easy ; you have done nothing
but what the circumstances of the case might almost warrant ; and
it is especially on the ground of wounded honor that his majesty is
best pleased to extend his grace and favor. You must be committed
for mere form's sake ; but you may depend on it your confinement
shall be of short duration. In Santillane you have a zealous friend,
who will watch over your interests and hasten your release."
Don Eoger paid his respectful acknowledgments to the minister,
on whose pledge he went and surrendered himself. His pardon was
soon made out, owing to my activity. In less than ten days I sent
this modern Telemachus home, to say, " How do you do ?" to his
Ulysses and Penelope. Had he stood upon the merits of his case
without a protector, he might have whined out a year's imprison-
ment, and scarcely have got ofi" at last. My commission was but a
poor hundred pistoles. It was no very magnificent haul ; but I was
not as yet a Calderona, to turn up my nose at the small fry.
\mj^S^^\
452 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER IX.
Gil BLA8 MAKES A LARGE FORTUNE IN A SHORT TIME, AND BEHAVES
LIKE OTHER WEALTHY UPSTARTS.
THIS affair gave me a relish for my trade; and ten pistoles to
Scipio, by way of brokerage, whetted his eagerness to start
more game of the same sort I have already done justice to his
talents that way ; he might as modestly have appended " the great"
to the tail of his name as the most noted scoundrel of antiquity.
The second customer he brought me was a printer, who manufac-
tured books of chivalry, and had made his fortune by waging war
against common sense. This printer had pirated a work belonging
to a brother printer, and his edition had been seized. For three
hundred ducats I rescued his copies out of jeopardy, and saved him
from a heavy fine Though this was a transaction beneath the
prime minister's notice, his excellency condescended, at my request,
to interpose his authority After the printer, a merchant passed
through my hands ; the occasion was thus • A Portuguese vessel
had been taken by a Barbary corsair, and retaken by a privateer
from Cadia Two-thirds of the cargo belonged to a merchant at
Lisbon, who, having claimed his due to no purpose, came to the court
of Spain in search of a protector, with sufficient credit to procure
him restitution. I took up his cause, and he recovered his property,
deducting the sum of four hundred pistoles, paid to me in consider-
ation of my disinterested zeal for justice
And now most surely the reader will call out to me at this place,
" Well said, good master Santillane ! Make hay while the sun
shines. You are on the high road to fortune ; push forward, and
outstrip your rivals," " O ! let me alone for that. I spy, or my eyes
deceive me, my servant coming in with a new gull that he has just
caught Even so ! It is my very Scipio, Let us hear what he has
to say," " Sir," quoth he, "give me leave to introduce this eminent
practitioner. He wants a license to sell his drugs, during the term
often years, in all the towns of the Spanish monarchy, to the exclu-
sion of all other quacks ; in short, a monopoly of poisons. In grati-
tude for this patent to thin mankind, he will present the donor with
a gratuity of two hundred pistoles," I looked superciliously, like a
patron, at the mountebank, and told him tliat his business should
be done. As lameness and leprosy would have it, in the course of a
few days, I sent him on his progress through Spain, invested with
full powers to make the world his oyster, and leave nothing but the
shell to his unpatented competitors.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 453
Besides that my avarice outran my accumulating wealth, I had
obtained the four boons just specified so easily from his grace, as not
to be mealy-mouthed about asking for a fifth. The town of Vera,
on the coast of Granada, wanted a governor ; and a knight of Cala-
trava wanted the government, for which he was willing to pay me
one thousand pistoles. The minister was ready to burst with laugh-
ing to see me so eager after the scot. " By all the powers, my friend
Gil Bias," said he, " you go to work tooth and nail 1 You have a
most inveterate itch to do as you would be done by. But mark me I
"When mere trifles stand between us, I shall not stand upon trifles;
but when governments or other places of real value are in question,
you will have the modesty to be content with half the fee for your-
self, and will account to me for the other half. It is inconceivable at
what expense I stand, and how it presses on my finances to support
the dignity of my station ; for though disinterestedness looks vastly
well in the eyes of the world, you are to understand, between our-
selves, that I have made a solemn vow against dipping into my
private fortune. On this hint, arrange your future plans."
My master, by this discourse relieving me from the fear of being
troublesome, or rather egging me on to run at the ring for every
prize, made me still more worldly-minded than ever I had been
before. I should not have objected to circulating handbills, with
an invitation to all candidates for places to apply on certain terms
at the secretary's ofiice. My functions were here, Scipio's were
there ; and we met at the receipt of custom. My client got the
government of Vera for his thousand pistoles ; and as our price was
fixed, a knight of St. James met his brother of Calatrava in the
market on an equal footing. But mere governors were paltry fish
to fry ; I distributed orders of knighthood, and converted some good
stupid burgesses into most insufferable gentry by one stroke of the
pen, and a lacing across the shoulders with a broadsword. The
clergy, too, were not forgotten in my charities. Lesser preferments
were in my gift; everything up to prebendal stalls and collegiate
dignities. With regard to bishoprics and archbishoprics, Don Rod-
rigo de Calderona had the charge of our holy religion. As church
and state must always go together, supreme magistracies, command-
eries, and viceroyalties were all in his gift ; whence the reader will
naturally infer, that the upper offices were little better tenanted
than the lower ones ; since the subjects on whom our election fell,
establishing their pretensions on a certain palpable criterion, were
not necessarily and unavoidably either the cleverest or the best-
principled people in the world. We knew very well that the wits
and lampooners of Madrid made themselves merry at our expense ;
but we borrowed our philosophy from misers, who hug themselves
454 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
under the hootings of the people, when they count over the accu-
mulation of their pelf.
Isocrates was in the right to insinuate, in his elegant Greek ex-
pression, that what is got over the devil's hack is spent under his
belly. When I saw myself master of thirty thousand ducats, and
in a fair way to gain perhaps ten times as much, it seemed to be a
necessity of office to make such a figure as became the right hand
of a prime minister. I took a house to myself, and flirnished it in
the prevailing style. I bought an attorney's carriage at second
hand ; he had set it up at the suggestion of vanity, and laid it down
at the suggestion of his banker. I hired a coachman and three
footmen. Justice demands that old and faithful servants should
be promoted ; I therefore invested Scipio with the threefold honor
of valet-de-chambre, private secretary, and steward. But the min-
ister raised my pride to its highest pitch, for he was pleased to allow
my people to wear his livery. My poor little wits were now com-
pletely turned. I was little more in my senses than the disciples of
Porcius Latro, who, by dint of drinking cumin, having made them-
selves as pale as their master, thought themselves every whit as
learned; so I could scarcely refrain from fancying myself next of
kin and presumptive heir to the Duke of Lerma himself. The popu-
lace might take me for his cousin, and people who knew better, for
one of his bastards, a suspicion most flattering to my pride of blood.
Add to this, that after the example of his excellency, who kept
a public table, I determined to give parties of my own. Pursuant
thereunto, I commissioned Scipio to find me out a professed cook ;
and he stumbled upon one who might have dished up a dinner for
Nomentanus, of dripping-pan notoriety. My cellar was well stored
with the choicest wines. My establishment being now complete, I
gave my house-warming. Every evening some of the clerks in the
public offices came to sup with me, and affected a sort of political
high life below stairs. I did the honors hospitably, and always
sent them home half seas over. Like master like man ! Scipio,
too, had his parties in the servants' hall, where he treated all his
chums at my expense. But besides that I felt a real kindness for
that lad, he contributed to grease the wheels of my establishment,
and was entitled to have a finger in the dissipation. As a young
man, some little license was allowable ; and the ruinous conse-
quences did not strike me at the time. Another reason, too, pre-
vented me from taking notice of it; incessant vacancies, ecclesiastical
and secular, paid me amply in meal and in malt. My surplus was
increasing every day. Fortune's curricle seemed to have driven to
my door, there to have broken down, and the driver to have taken
shelter with me.
AD VENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 455
One thing more was wanting to my complete intoxication — that
Fabricio might be witness to my pomp. He was, most probably,
come back from Andalusia. For the fun of surprising him, I sent
an anonymous note, importing that a Sicilian nobleman of his ac-
quaintance would be glad of his company to supper, with the day,
hour, and place of appointment, which was at my house. Nunez
came, and was most inordinately astonished to recognize me in the
Sicilian nobleman. "Yes, my friend," said I, "behold the master
of this family. I have a retinue, a good table, and a strong box
besides." "Is it possible," exclaimed he with vivacity, "that all
this opulence should be yours? It was well done in me to have
placed you with Count Galiano. I told you beforehand that he was
a generous nobleman, and would not be long before he set you at
your ease. Of course you followed my wise advice, in giving the
rein a little more freely to your servants ; you find the benefit of it.
It is only by a little mutual accommodation that the principal
oflicers in great houses feather their nests so comfortably."
I suffered Fabricio to go on as long as he liked, complimenting
himself for having introduced me to Count Galiano. When he had
done, to chastise his ecstasies at having procured me so good a post,
I stated at full length the returns of gratitude with which that noble-
man had recompensed my services. But, perceiving how ready my
poet was to string his lyre to satire at my recital, I said to him,
" The Sicilian's contemptible conduct I readily forgive. Between
ourselves, it is more a subject of congratulation than of regret. If
the count had dealt honorably by me, I should have followed him
into Sicily, where I should still be in a subordinate capacity, wait-
ing for dead men's shoes. In a word, I should not now have been
hand in glove with the Duke of Lerma."
Nunez felt so strange a sensation at these last words, that he was
tongue-tied for some seconds. Then gulping up his stammering
accents like harlequin, " Did I hear aright?" said he. "What! you
hand in glove with the prime minister ?" " I on one side, and Don
Rodrigo de Calderona on the other," answered I ; " and according to
all appearance, my fortunes will move higher." " Truly," replied
he, " this is admirable. You are cut out for every occasion. What
a universal genius ! To borrow an expression from the tennis-court,
you have a racket for every ball ; nothing comes amiss to you. At
all events, my lord, I am sincerely rejoiced at your lordship's pros-
perity." "The deuce and all, Master Nunez!" interrupted I; "good
now, dispense with your lords and lordships. Let us banish such
formalities, and live on equal terms together." "You are in the
right," replied he ; " altered circumstances should not make strange
faces. I will own my weakness ; when you announced your eleva-
456 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
tion, you took away my breath ; but the chill and the shudder are
over, and I see only my old friend Gil Bias."
• Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of four or five
clerks. " Gentlemen," said I, introducing Nunez, " you are to sup
with Signer Don Fabricio, who writes verses of impenetrable
sublimity, and such prose as would not know itself in the glass."
Unluckily I was talking to gentry who would have had more fellow-
feeling with an orang-outang than with a poet. They scarcely con-
descended to look at him. In vain did he pun, parody, rally, or rail
to hit their fancies, for they had none. He was so nettled at their
indifference, that he assumed the poetic license, and made his es-
cape. Our clerks never missed him, but forgot at once that he had
been there.
Just as I was going out the next morning, the poet of the Asturiaa
came into my room. " I beg pardon," said he, " for having cut your
clerks so abruptly last night ; but, to deal freely, I was so much out
of my element, that I should soon have played old chaos with them.
Proud puppies, with their starch and self-important air ! I cannot
conceive how a clever fellow like you can sit it out with such lout-
ish guests. To-day I will bring you some of more life and spirit."
"I shall be very much obliged to you," answered I: "your intro-
duction is sufficient." " Exactly so," replied he. " You shall have
the feast of reason and the flow of soul. I will go forthwith and
invite them, for fear they should engage themselves elsewhere ; for
happy man be his dole who can get them to dinner or supper, they
are such excellent company !"
Away went he ; and in the evening, at supper-time, returned with
six authors in his train, whom he presented one after another with
a set speech in their praise. According to his account, the wits of
Greece and Italy were nothing in comparison of these, whose works
ought to be printed in letters of gold. I received this deputation
from the tuneful sisters very politely. My behavior was even in the
extravagance of good breeding ; for the republic of authors is a little
monarchical in its demands upon our flattery. Though I had given
Scipio no express direction respecting the number of covers at this
entertainment, yet knowing what a hungry and voluptuous race were
to be crammed, he had mustered the courses in more than their full
complement.
At length supper was announced, and we fell to merrily. My
poets began talking of their poems and themselves. One fellow,
with the most lyrical assurance, numbered up whole hosts of first-
rate nobility and high-flying dames, who were quite enraptured with
his muse. Another, though it was not for him to arraign the choice
which a learned society had lately made of two new members, could
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 467
not help saying that it was strange they should not have elected him.
All the rest were much in the same story. Amid the clatter of knives
and forks, my ears were discordantly dinned with verses and har-
angues. They each took it by turns to give me a specimen of their
composition. One languishes out a sonnet ; another mouths a scene
in a tragedy ; and a third reads a melancholy criticism on the prov-
ince of comedy. The next in turn spouts an ode of Anacreon,
translated into most un-anacreontic Spanish verse. One of his breth-
ren interrupts him, to point out the unclassical use of a particular
phrase. The author of the version by no means acquiesces in the
remark ; hence arises an argument, in which all the literati take one
side or the other. Opinions are nearly balanced ; the disputants are
nearly in a passion ; as argument weakens, invective grows stronger ;
they get from bad to worse ; over goes the table, and up jump they
to fisticuffs. Fabricio, Scipio, my coachman, my footman, and my-
self have scarcely lungs or strength to bring them to their senses.
The moment the battle was over, off scampered they as if my house
had been a tavern, without the slightest apology for their ill be-
havior.
Nunez, on whose word I had anticipated a v^ry pleasant party,
looked rather blue at this conclusion. "Well, my friend," said I,
" what do you think of your literary acquaintance now ? As sure as
Apollo is on Parnassus, you brought me a most blackguard set. I
will stick to my clerks ; so talk no more to me about authors." " I
shall take care," answered he, " not to invite any one of them to a
gentleman's house again ; for these are the most select and well-
mannered of the tribe."
CHAPTER X.
THE M0BAL8 OB" GIL BLAS BECOME AT COUET MUCH AS IP THEY HAD
NEVEE BEEN AT AI^.
WHEN once my name was up for a man after the Duke of
Lerma's own heart, I had very soon my court about me.
Every morning was my antechamber crowded with company, and
ray levees were all the fashion. Two sorts of customers came to my
shop; one set, to engage my interposition with the minister, on fair
commercial principles ; the other set, to excite my compassion by
pathetic statements of their cases, and give me a lift to heaven on
458 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
the packhorse of charity. The first were sure of being heard patiently
and served diligently ; with regard to the second order, I got rid of
them at once by plausible evasions, or kept them dangling till they
wore their patience threadbare, and went off in a huff. Before I
was about the court, my nature was compassionate and charitable ;
but tenderness of heart is an unfashionable frailty there, and mine be-
came harder than any flint. Here was an admirable school to correct
the romantic sensibilities of friendship : nor was my philosophy any
longer assailable in that quarter. My manner of dealing with Joseph
Navarro, under the following circumstances, will prove more than
volumes on that head.
This Navarro, the founder of my fortune, to whom my obligations
were thick and threefold, paid me a visit one day. With the warm-
est expressions of regard, such as he was in the habit of lavishing,
he begged me to ask the Duke of Lerma for a certain situation for
one of his friends, a young man of excellent qualities and undoubted
merit, but encumbered with an inability of getting on in the world,
" I am well assured," added Joseph, " that, with your good and
obliging disposition, you will be enraptured to confer a favor on a
worthy man with a very slender purse; I am sure you will feel
obliged to me for giving you an opportunity of carrying your bene-
volent inclinations into effect." This was just as good as telling me
that the business was to be done for nothing. Though such doctrine
was not quite level to my capacity, I still affected a wish to do as he
desired. " It gives me infinite pleasure," answered I to Navarro,
" to have it in my power to evince my lively sense of all youp for-
mer kindness to me It is enough for you to take any man living
by the hand , from that moment he becomes the object of my un-
wearied care. Your friend shall have the situation you want for
him ; nay, he has it already. It is no longer any concern of yours ;
leave it entirely to me."
On this assurance Joseph went away in high glee ; nevertheless,
the person he recommended did not get the post in question. It was
given to another man, and my strong box was stronger by a thou-
sand ducats. This sum was infinitely preferable to all the thanks in
the world, so that I looked pitifully blank when next we met, saying,
" Ah, my dear Navarro ! you should have thought of speaking to
me sooner. That Calderona got the start of me ; he has given away
a certain thing that shall be nameless. I am vexed to the soul not
to meet you with better tidings."
Joseph was fool enough to give me credit, and we parted better
friends than ever; but I suspect that he soon found out the truth,
for he never came near me again. This was just what I wanted.
Besides that the memory of benefits received grated harshly, it
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 469
would not have been at all the thing for a person in my then sphere
to keep company with a certain description of people.
The Count de Lemos has been long in the background ; let us
make him a little more prominent on the canvas. We met occasion-
ally. I had carried him a thousand pistoles, as the reader will
recollect; and I now carried him a thousand more, by order of his
uncle the duke, out of his excellency's funds lying in my hands.
On this occasion the Count de Lemos honored me with a long con-
ference. He informed me that at length he had completely gained
his end, and was in unrivalled possession of the Prince of Spain's good
graces, whose sole confidant he was. His next concern was to invest
me with a right honorable commission, of which he had already
given me a hint. " Friend Santillane," said he, " now is the time
to strike while the iron is hot. Spare no pains to find out some
young beauty worthy to while away the prince's amorous hours.
You have your wits about you, and a word to the wise is sufficient.
Go, run about the town ; pry into every hole and corner ; and when
you have pounced upon anything likely to suit, you will come and
let me know." I promised the count to leave no stone unturned in
the due discharge of jny employment, which seemed to require no
great force of genius, since the professors of the science are so
numerous.
I had not hitherto been much practiced in such delicate investi-
gations, but it was more than probable that Scipio had, and that his
talent lay peculiarly that way. On my return home I called him
in, and spoke thus to him in private : — " My good fellow, I have a
very important secret to impart. Do you know that in the midst
of fortune's favors there is sometljing still wanting to crown all my
wishes ?" " I can easily guess what that is," interrupted he, with-
out giving me time to finish what I was going to say ; " you want a
little snug bit of contraband amusement, to keep you awake of
evenings, and rub off the rust of business. And, in fact, it is a mar-
vellous thing that you should have played the Joseph in the heyday
of your blood, when so many graybeards around you are playing
the elder." " I admire the quickness of your apprehension," replied
I with a smile. " Yes, my friend, a mistress is that something still
wanting, and you will choose for me. But I forewarn you that I am
nice hungry, and must have a pretty person, with more than pass-
able manners." "The sort of thing that you require," returned
Scipio, " is not always to be met with in the market. Yet, as luck
will have it, we are in a town where everything is to be got for
money, and I am in hopes that your commission will not hang long
on hand."
Accordingly, within three days he pulled me by the sleeve, say-
460 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
ing, " I have discovered a treasure I A young lady whose name is
Catalina, of good family and matchless beauty, living with her aunt
in a small house, where they make both ends meet by clubbing
their little matters, and set the slanderous world at defiance. Their
waiting-maid, a girl of my acquaintance, has given me to understand
that their door, though barred against all impertinent intruders,
would turn upon its hinges to a rich and generous suitor, if he would
only consent, for fear of prying neighbors, not to pay his visits till
after nightfall, and then in the most private manner possible.
Hereupon I magnified you as the properest gentleman in the world,
and entreated piety in pattens to offer your humble services to the
ladies. She promised to do so, and to bring me back my answer
to-morrow morning at an appointed place." " That is all very well,"
answered I ; " but I am afraid your goddess of bed-making has been
running her rig upon you." " No, no," replied he ; " old birds are
not to be caught with chaff. I have already made inquiry in the
neighborhood, and by the general report of her, Signora (Jatalina
is a second Danae, on whom you will have the happiness of coming
down
'Like Jove descending from his tower,
To court her in a silver shower.' "
* Out of conceit as I was with the intrinsic value of ladies' favors,
this was not to be scoffed at ; and as our Mercury in petticoats came
the next day to tell Scipio that it only depended on me to be intro-
duced that very evening, I dropped in between eleven and twelve
o'clock. The knowing one received me without bringing a candle,
and led me by the hand into a very neat apartment, where the two
ladies were sitting on a satin sofa, dressed in the most elegant taste.
As soon as they saw me enter, they got up and welcomed me in a
style of such superior breeding as would not have disgraced the
highest rank. The aunt, whose name was Signora Mencia, though
with the remains of beauty, had no attractions for me. But the
niece had a million, for she was a goddess in mortal form. And
yet, to examine her critically, she could not have been admitted for
a perfect beauty ; but then there was a charm above all rules of
symmetry, with a tingling and luxurious warmth about her, that
seized on men's hearts through their eyes, and prevented their brains
from being too busy.
Neither were my senses proof against so dazzling a display. I
forgot my errand as proxy, and spoke on my own private individual
account, with the enthusiasm of a raw recruit in the tender passion.
The dear little creature, whose wit sounded in my ears with three
times its actual acuteness, under favor of her natural endowments,
made a complete conquest of me by her prattle. I began to launch
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. '461
out into foolish raptures, when the aunt, to bring me to my bearings,
thus led the conversation to the point in hand : " Signor de San-
tillane, I shall deal very explicitly with you. On the high enco-
miums I have heard of your character, you have been admitted here
without the affectation of making much ado about trifles : but do
not imagine that your views are the nearer their termination for
that Hitherto I have brought my niece up in retirement, and you
are, as it were, the very first male creature on whom she has ever
set eyes. If you deem her worthy of being your wife, I shall feel
myself highly honored by the alliance ; it is for you to consider
whether those terms suit you ; but you cannot have her on cheaper."
This was proceeding to business with a vengeance! It put little
Cupid to flight at once : or else he was just going to try one of his
sharpest arrows upon me. But a truce with the Pantheon I A
marriage so bluntly proposed dispelled the fairy vision : I sunk
back at once into the count's plodding agent, and changing my tone,
answered Signora Mencia thus : " Madam, your frankness delights
me, and I will meet it half way. Whatever rank I may hold at
court, lower than the highest is too low for the peerless Catalina.
A far more brilliant offer waits her acceptance^ the Prince of Spain
shall be thrown into her toils." " Surely it was enough to have
refused my niece," replied the aunt, sarcastically ; " such compli-
ments are sufficiently unpleasing to our sex ; it could not be neces-
sary to make us your unfeeling sport." "I really am not in so
merry a mood, madam," exclaimed I; "it is a plain matter of fact;
I am commissioned to look out for a young lady of merit sufiicient
to engage the prince's heart, and receive his private visits; the
object of my search is in your house, and here his royal highness
shall fix his quarters."
Signora Mencia could scarcely believe her ears ; neither were they
grievously offended. Nevertheless, thinking it decent to be startled
at the immorality of the proceeding, she replied to the following
effect: "Though I should give implicit credit to what you tell me,
you must understand that I am not of a character to take pleasure
in the infamous distinction of seging my niece a prince's concubine.
Every feeling of virtue and of honor revolts at the idea." ....
"What a simpleton you are with your virtue and honor!" inter-
rupted I. " You have not a notion above the level of a tradesman's
wife. Was there ever anything so stupid as to consider affairs of
this kind with a view to their moral tendency? It is stripping
them of all their beauty and excellence. In the magic lantern of
plenty, pleasure, and preferment, they appear with all their brightest
gloss. Figure to yourself the heir to the monarchy at the happy
Catalina's feet; fancy him all rapture and lavish bounty; nor doubt
462 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
but that from her shall spring a hero, who shall immortalize his
mother's name, by enrolling his own in the imperishable records of
eternal fame."
Though the aunt desired no better sport than to take me at my
word, she affected not to know what she had best do ; and Catalina,
who longed to have a grapple with the Prince of Spain, affected not
to care about the matter, which made it necessary for me to press
the siege closer, till at length Signora Mencia, finding me chopfallen
and ready to withdraw my forces, sounded a parley, and agreed to
a convention, containing the two following articles : "Imprimis, if
the Prince of Spain, on the fame of Catalina's charms, should take
fire, and determine to pay her a nightly visit, it should be my care
to let the ladies know when they might expect him, Secondo, that
the prince should be introduced to the said ladies as a private gen-
tleman, accompanied only by himself and his principal purveyor."
After this capitulation, the aunt and niece were upon the best
terms possible with me ; they behaved as if we had known one
another from our cradles ; on the strength of which I ventured ou
some little familiarities, which were not taken at all unkindly ; and
when we parted, they embraced me of their own accord, and slab-
bered me over with inexpressible fondness. It is marvellous to
think with what facility a tender connection is formed between per-
sons in the same line of trade, but of opposite sexes. It might have
been suspected by an eye-witness of my departure, in all the pleni-
tude of warm and repeated salutation, that my visit had been more
successful than it was.
The Count de Lemos was highly delighted when I announced the
long-expected discovery. I spoke of Catalina in terms which made
him long to see her. The following night I took him to her house,
and he owned that I had beat the bush to some purpose. He told
the ladies he had no doubt but the Prince of Spain would be fully
satisfied with my choice of a mistress, who, on her part, would have
reason to be well pleased with such a lover ; that the young prince
was generous, good-tempered, and amiable ; in short, he promised in
a few days to bring him in the mode they enjoined, without retinue
or publicity. That nobleman then took leave of them, and I with-
drew with him. We got into his carriage, in which we had both
driven thither, and which was waiting at the end of the street. He
set me down at my own door, with a special charge to inform his
uncle next day of the new game started, not forgetting to impress
strongly how conducive a good bag of pistoles would be to the suc-
cessful accomplishment of the adventure.
I did not fail on the following morning to go and give the Duke
of Lerma an exact account of all that had passed. There was but
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 463
one thing kept back, I did not mention Scipio's name, but took
credit to myself for the discovery of Cataiina. One makes a merit
of any dirty work in the service of the great.
Abundant were the compliments paid me on this occasion, "My
good friend Gil Bias," said the minister with a bantering air, " I am
delighted that, with all your talents, you have that besides of dis-
covering kind-hearted beauties ; whenever I have occasion for such
an article, you will have the goodness to supply me." " My lord,"
answered I, with mock gravity like his own, " you are very obliging
to give me the preference ; but it may not be unseasonable to observe
that there would be an indelicacy in my administering to your ex-
cellency's pleasures of this description. Signor Don Eodrigo has
been so long in possession of that post about your person, that it
would be manifest injustice to rob him of it," The duke smiled at
my answer, and then changing the subject, asked whether his nephew
did not want money for this new speculation. " Excuse my negli-
gence !" said I; " he will thank you to send him a thousand pistoles."
" Well and good!" replied the minister; " you will furnish him
accordingly, with my strict injunction not to be niggardly, but to
encourage the prince in whatever pleasurable expense his heart
may prompt him to indulge."
CHAPTER XI.
THB PRINCE OF SPAIN'S SECRET VISIT, AND PRESENTS TO CATALINA.
I WENT to the Count de Lemos on the spur of the occasion, with
five hundred double pistoles in my hand. " You could not have
come at a better time," said that nobleman, "I have been talking
with the prince ; he has taken the bait, and burns with impatience
to see Catalina, This very night he intends to slip privately out of
the palace, and pay her a visit ; it is a measure determined on, and
our arrangements are already made. Give notice to the ladies,
through the medium of the cash you have just brought; it is proper
to let them know they have no ordinary lover to receive, and a mat-
ter of course that generosity in princes should be the herald of their
partialities. As you will be of our party, take care to be in the way
at bed-time ; and as your carriage will be wanted, let it wait near
the palace about midnight."
I immediately repaired to the ladies. Catalina was not visible.
464 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
having just gone to lie down. I could only speak with Signora
Mencia. " Madam," said I, " forgive my appearance here in the
daytime, but there was no avoiding it; you must know that the
Prince of Spain will be with you to-night; and here," added I, put-
ting my pecuniary credentials into her hand, " here is an offering
which he lays on the Cytherean shrine, to propitiate the divinities
of the temple. You may perceive, I have not entangled you in a
sleeveless concern." " You have been excessively kind indeed,"
answered she ; " but tell me, Signor de Santillane, does the prince
love music ?" " To distraction," replied I. " There is nothing he so
much delights in as a fine voice, with a delicate lute accompani-
ment." " So much the' better," exclaimed she in a transport of joy ;
"you give me great pleasure by saying so, for my niece has the pipe
of a nightingale, and plays exquisitely on the lute: then her dancing
is in the finest style !" " Heavens and earth !" exclaimed I in my
turn, " here are accomplishments by wholesale, aunt ; more than
enough to make any girl's fortune ! Any one of those talents would
have been a sufficient dowry."
Having thus smoothed his reception, I waited for the prince's bed-
time. When it was near at hand, I gave my coachman his orders,
and went to the Count de Lemos, who told me that the prince, the
sooner to get rid of the people about him, meant to feign a slight in-
disposition, and even to go to bed, the better to cajole his attendants ;
but that he would get up an hour afterwards, and go through a pri-
vate door to a back staircase leading into the court-yard.
Conformably with their previous arrangements, he fixed my sta-
tion. There had I to beat the hoof so long, that I began to suspect
our forward sprig of royalty had gone another way, or else had
changed his mind about Catalina ; just as if princes ever began to
be fickle till the goad of novelty and curiosity began to be blunted.
In short, I thought they had forgotten me^ when two men came up.
Finding them to be my party, I led the way to my carriage, into
which they both got, and I upon the coach-box to direct the driver,
whom I stopped fifty yards from the house, whither we walked.
The door opened at our approach, and shut again as soon as we
got in.
At first we were in absolute darkness, as on my former visit,
though a small lamp was fixed to the wall on the present occasion.
But the light which it shed was so faint as only to render itself
visible without assisting us. All this served only to heighten the
romance in the fancy of its hero, fixed as he was in steadfast gaze
at the sight of the ladies as they received him in a saloon whose
brilliant illumination was more dazzling when contrasted with the
gloom of the avenue. The aunt and niece were in a tempting un-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 466
dress, where the science of coquetry was displayed in all its luxury
and absolute sway. Our prince could have been happy with Signora
Mencia, had the dear charmer Catalina been away; but as there was
a choice, the younger, according to the rules of precedency in the
court of Cupid, had the preference.
" Well, prince," said the Count de Lemos, " could you have de-
eired a better specimen of beauty ?" " They are both enchanting,"
answered the prince, "and my heart may as well surrender at once;
for the aunt would arrest it in its flight, if it attempted to sound a
retreat from the niece's all-subduing charms."
After such compliments as do not fall by wholesale to the share
of aunts, he addressed his choicest terms of flattery to Catalina, who
answered him in kind. As convenient personages of my stamp are
allowed to mingle in the conversation of lovers, for the purpose of
making fire hotter, I introduced the subject of singing and playing
on the lute. This was the signal of fresh rapture ; and the nymph,
the muse, the anything but mortal, was supplicated to outtune the
jingle of the spheres. She complied like a good-humored goddess ;
played some tender airs, and sung so deliciously, that the prince
flopped down on his knees in a tumult of love and pleasure. But
scenes like these are vapid in description: suffice it to say that
hours glided away like moments in this sweet delirium, till the
approach of day warned the sober plotters of the lunacy to provide
for their patient's safety and their own. When the parties were all
snugly housed, we gave ourselves as much credit for the negotiation
as if we had patched up a marriage with a princess.
The next morning the Duke of Lerma desired to know all the
particulars. Just as I had finished relating them, the Count de
Lemos came in, and said, "The Prince of Spain is so engrossed by
Catalina, he has taken so decided a fancy to her, that he actually
proposes to be constant. He wanted to have sent her jewels to the
amount of two thousand pistoles to-day, but his finances were
aground. 'My dear Lemos,' said he, addressing himself to me,
'you must absolutely get me that sum. I know it is very incon-
venient; you have pawned your credit for me already; but my
heart owns itself your debtor, and if ever I have the means of re-
turning your kindness by more than empty words, your fortunes
shall not suffer by your complaisance.' In answer, I assured him
that I had friends and credit, and promised to bring him what he
wanted."
" There is no difiiculty about that," said the duke to his nephew.
" Santillane will bring you the money ; or, to save trouble, he may
purchase the jewels, for he is an admirable judge, especially of
rubies. Are you not, Gil Bias?" This stroke of satire was of
30
466 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
course designed to entertain the count at my expense ; and it was
successful, for his curiosity could not but be excited to know the
meaning df the mystery. " No mystery at all," replied his uncle,
with a broad laugh. " Only Santillane took it into his head one
day to exchange a diamond for a ruby, and the barter operated
equally to the advantage of his pocket and his penetration."
Had the minister stopped there I should have come off cheaply ;
but he took the trouble of dressing out in aggravated colors the
trick that Camilla and Don Raphael played me, with a most pro-
voking enlargement of the circumstances most to the disadvantage
of my sagacity. His excellency, having enjoyed his joke, ordered
me to attend the Count de Lemos to a jeweller's, where we selected
trinkets for the Prince of Spain's inspection, and they were en-
trusted to my care, to be delivered to Catalina.
There can be little doubt of my kind reception on the following
night, when I displayed a fine pair of drop ear-rings, as the presents
of my embassy. The two ladies, out of their wits at these costly
tokens of the prince's love, suffered their tongues to run into a gos-
siping strain, while they were thanking me for introducing them
into such worshipful society. In the excess of their joy, they forgot
themselves a little. There escaped now and then certain peculiar
idioms of speech, which made me suspect that the party in question
was no such dainty morsel for royalty to feed upon. To ascertain
precisely what degree of obligation I had conferred on the heir-
apparent, I took my leave with the intention of coming to a right
understanding with Scipio.
CHAPTEE XII.
CATALINA'S KEAL condition a WOKRY and alarm to GIL BLAS. HIS
PRECAUTIONS FOR HIS OWN EASE AND QUIET.
ON coming home, I heard a devil of a noise, and inquired what
was the meaning of it. They told me that Scipio was giving
a supper to half-a-dozen of his friends. They were singing as loud
as their lungs could roar, and threatening the stability of the house
with their protracted peals of laughter. This meal was not in all
respects the banquet of the seven wise men.
The founder of the feast, informed of my arrival, said to his com-
pany, " Sit still, gentlemen ; it is only the master of the house come
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 467
home; but that need not disturb you. Go on with your merry-
making; I will just whisper a word in his ear, and be back again in
a moment." He came to me accordingly. " What an infernal din !"
said I. " What sort of company do you keep below ? Have you,
too, got in among the poets ?" " Thank you for nothing !" answered
he. " Your wine is too good to be given to such gentry ; I turn it
to better account There is a young man of large property in my
party, who wishes to lay out your credit and his own money in the
purchase of a place. This little festivity is all for him. For every
glass he fills, I put on ten pistoles in addition to the regular fee. He
shall drink till he is under the table." " If that is the case," replied
I, " go to your presidentship, and do not spare the cellar."
Then was no proper time to talk about Catalina ; but the next
morning I opened the business thus : — " Friend Scipio, the terms
we are upon entitle me to fair dealing. I have treated you more
like an equal than a servant, consequently you would be much to
blame to cheat me on the footing of a master. Let us, therefore,
have no secrets towards each other. I am going to tell you what
will surprise you ; and you, on your part, shall give me your sincere
opinion about the two women with whom you have brought me
acquainted. Between ourselves, I suspect them to be no better than
they should be, with so much the more of the knave in their com-
position because they affect the simpleton. If my conjecture be
right, the Prince of Spain has no great reason to be delighted with
my activity, for I will own to you frankly that it was for him I
spoke to you about a mistress. I brought him to see Catalina, and
he is over head and ears in love with her." " Sir," answered Scipio,
"you have dealt so handsomely by me, that I shall act upon the
square with you. I had yesterday a private interview with the
abigail, and she gave me a most entertaining history of the family.
You shall have it briefly, though it did not come briefly to me.
" Catalina was daughter to a sort of gentleman in Arragon. An
orphan at fifteen, with no fortune but a pretty face, she lent a com-
plying ear to an officer, who carried her off" to Toledo, where he died
in six months, having been more like a father than a husband to
her. She collected his effects together, consisting of their joint ward-
robe and three hundred pistoles in ready money, and then went to
housekeeping with Signora Mencia, who was still in fashion, though
a little on the wane. These sisters, every way but in blood, began
to attract the attention of the police. The ladies took umbrage at
this, and decamped in dudgeon for Madrid, where they have been
living for these two years, without making any acquaintance in the
neighborhood. But now comes the best of the joke : they have
taken two small houses adjoining each other, with a passage of
468 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
communication through the cellars. Signora Mencia lives with a
servant girl in one of these houses, and the oflBcer's widow inhabits
the other, with an old duenna, whom she passes off for her grand-
mother, so that her versatile child of nature is sometimes a niece
brought up by her aunt, and sometimes an orphan under her
grandam's fostering wing. When she enacts the niece, her name is
Catalina, and when ske personates the granddaughter, she calls her-
self Sirena."
At the grating sound of Sirena I turned pale, and interrupted
Scipio, saying, " What do you tell me ? Alas ! it must be so. This
cursed imp of Arragon is Calderona's charming Siren." " To be
sure she is," answered he, " the very same. I \hought you would
be delighted at the news." " Quite the reverse," replied I. " It
portends more sorrow than laughter; do not you anticipate the
consequences?" "None of any ill omen," rejoined Scipio. "What
is there to be afraid of?* It is not certain that Don Rodrigo will
rub his forehead ; and in case any good-natured friend should show
it him in the glass, you had better let the minister into the secret
beforehand. Tell him all the circumstances straightforsvard as they
happened ; he will see that there has been no trick on your part ;
and if, after that, Calderona should attempt to do you an ill oflBce
with his excellency, it will be as clear as daylight that he is only
actuated by a spirit of revenge."
Scipio removed all my apprehensions by this advice, which I fol-
lowed in acquainting the Duke of Lerma at once with this unlucky
discovery. My aspect, while telling my tale, was sorrowful and my
tone faltering, in evidence of my contrition for having unadvisedly
brought the Prince and Don Rodrigo into such close quarters ; but
the minister was more disposed to roast his favorite than to pity
him. Indeed, he ordered me to let the matter take its own course,
considering it as a feather in Calderona's cap to dispute the empire
of love with so illustrious a rival, and not to be worse used than his
lawful prince. The Count de Lemos, too, was informed how things
stood, and promised me his protection if the first secretary should
come at the knowledge of the intrigue, and attempt to undermine
me with the duke.
Trusting to have secured the frail bark -of my fortunes by this
notable contrivance from the rocks and quicksands that threatened
it, my mind was once more at rest. I continued attending the
prince on his visits to Catalina, siren-like in nature as in nick-
name, who was fertile in quaint devices to keep Don Rodrigo away
from next door, whenever the course of business required her to
devote her nights to his royal competitor.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 469
CHAPTER XIII.
GIL BLAS GOBS ON PEESOJSTATING THE GKEAT MAN. HE HEARS NEWS
OF .HIS FAMILY. A GRAND QUAKKEL WITH FABKICIO.
I MENTIONED some time ago that in the morning there was
usually a crowd of people in my antechamber, coming to nego-
tiate little private concerns in the way of politics; but I would
never suffer them to open their business by word of mouth; but
adopting court precedent, or rather giving myself the airs of a Jack
in oflSce, my language to every suitor was, " Send in a memorial on
the subject." My tongue ran so glibly to that tune, that one day I
gave my landlord the official answer, when he came to put me In
mind of a twelvemonth's rent in arrear. As for my butcher and
baker, they spared me the trouble of asking for their memorials, by
never giving me time to run up a bill. Scipio, who mimicked me
so exactly that only those behind the scenes could distinguish the
double from the principal performer, held his head just as high with
the poor devils who curried favor with him, as a step of the ladder
to my ministerial patronage.
There was another foolish trick of mine, of which I do not by any
means pretend to make a merit ; neither more nor less than the ex-
treme assurance of talking about the first nobility just as if I had
been one of their kidney. Suppose, for example, the Duke of Alva,
the Duke of Ossuna, or the Duke of Medina Sidonia were mentioned
in conversation ; I called them, without ceremony, my friend Alva,
that good-natured fellow Ossuna, or that comical dog Medina
Sidonia. In a word, my pride and vanity had swelled to such a
height, that my father and mother were no longer among the num-
ber of my honored relatives. Alas ! poor understrappers, I never
thought of asking whether you had sunk or were swimming in the
Asturias. A thought about you never came into my head. The court
has all the soporific virtues of Lethe in the case of poor relations.
My family was completely obliterated from the tablets of my
memory, when one morning a young man knocked at my door, and
begged to speak with me for a moment in private. He was shown
into my closet, where without asking him to take a chair, as he
seemed to be quite a common fellow, I desired to know abruptly
what he wanted. " How ! Signer Gil Bias," said he, " do you not
remember me ?" It was in vain that I perused the lines of his face
over and over again ; I was obliged to tell him fairly that he had
the advantage of me. " Why, I am one of your old schoolfellows,"
replied he, " bred and born in Oviedo : Bertrand Muscada, the
470 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
grocer's son, next door neighbor to your uncle the canon. I recol-
lect you as well as if it was but yesterday. We have played a thou-
sand times together at blind man's buff and prison bars."
" My youthful recollections," answered I, " are very transient and
confused. Blind man's buff and prison bars are but childish amuse-
ment I The burden of state affairs leaves me little time to ruminate
on the trifles of my younger days." " I am come to Madrid," said
he, " to settle aecounts with my father's correspondent. I heard
talk of you. Folks say that you have a good berth at court, and are
already almost as well off as a Jew broker. I thought I would just
call in and say, how d'ye do ? On my return into the country, your
family will jump out of their skins for joy, when they hear how
fiimously you are getting on."
It was impossible in decency to avoid asking how my father, my
mother, and my uncle stood in the world ; but that duty was per-
formed in so gingerly a manner as to leave the grocer little room to
compliment dame Nature on her liberal provision of instinct. He
seemed quite shocked at my indifference for such near kindred, and
told me bluntly, with his coarse shopman's familiarity, " Methinks
you might have shown more heartiness and natural feeling for your
kinsfolk! Why, you ask after them just as if they were vermin !
Your father and mother are still at service ; take that in your dish !
And the good canon, Gil Perez, eaten up with gout, rheumatism,
and old age, has one foot in the grave. People should feel as people
ought; and seeing that you are in a berth to be a blessing to your
poor parents, take a friend's advice, and allow them two hundred
pistoles a year. That will be doing a handsome thing, and making
them comfortable ; and then you may spend the rest upon yourself
l?ith a good conscience." Instead of being softened by this family
picture, I only resented the officiousness of unasked advice. A more
delicate and covert remonstrance might perhaps have made its im-
pression, but so bold a rebuke only hardened my heart. My sulky
silence was not lost upon him, so that while he moralized himself
out of charity into downright abuse, my choler began to overflow.
" Nay, then 1 this is too much," answered I, in a devil of a passion.
" Get about your business, Master Muscada, and mind your own
shop. You are a pretty fellow to preach to me I As if I were to be
taught my duty by you 1" Without further parley I handed the
grocer out of my closet by the shoulder, and sent him off to weigh
figs and nutmegs at Oviedo.
The home-strokes he had laid on were not lost to my sober recol-
lection. My neglect of filial piety struck home to my heart, and
melted me into tears. When I recollected how much my childhood
was indebted to my parents, what pain* they had taken in my edu-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 471
cation, these affecting thoughts gave language for the moment to the
still small voice of nature and gratitude ; but the language was never
translated into solid sense and service. An habitual callousness
succeeded this transient sensation, and peremptorily cancelled every
obligation of humanity. There are many fathers besides mine who
will acknowledge this portrait of their sons.
Avarice and ambition, dividing me between them, annihilated
every trace of my former temper. I lost all my gayety, became
absent and moping ; in short, a most unsociable animal. Fabricio,
seeing me so furiously bent on accumulation, and so perfectly indif-
ferent to him, very rarely came to see me. He could not help say-
ing one day, " In truth, Gil Bias, you are quite an altered man.
Before you were about the court, you were always pleasant and
easy. Now you are all agitation and turmoil. You form project
after project to make a fortune, and the more you realize, the wider
your views of aggrandizement extend. But this is not the worst !
You have no longer that expansion of heart, those open manners,
which form the charm of friendship. On the contrary, you wrap
yourself round, and shut the avenues of your heart even to me. In
your very civilities I detect the violence you impose upon your-
self. In short, Gil Bias is no longer the same Gil Bias whom I once
knew."
" You really have a most happy talent for bantering," answered
I, with repulsive jocularity. " But this metamorphose into the shag
of a savage is not perceptible to myself." "Your own eyes," replied
he, " are insensible to the change, because they are fascinated. But
the fact remains the same. Now, my friend, tell me fairly and
honestly, shall we live together as heretofore? When I used to
knock at your door in the morning, you came and opened it your-
self, between asleep and awake, and I walked in without ceremony.
Now, what a difference 1 You have an establishment of servants.
They keep me cooling my heels in your antechamber ; my name
must be sent in before I can speak to you. When this is got over,
what is my reception? A cold inclination of the head, and the in-
solent strut of office. Any one would suppose that my visits were
growing troublesome ! Can you suppose this to be treatment for a
man who was once on equal terms with you? No, Santillane, it can
never be, nor will I bear it longer. Farewell. Let us part without
ill blood. We shall both be better asunder ; you will get rid of a
troublesome censor, and I of a purse-proud upstart who does not
know himself."
I felt myself more exasperated than reformed by his reproaches,
and suffered him to take his departure without the slightest effort
to overcome his resolution. In the present temper of my mind, the
472
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
friendsliip of a poet did not seem a catch of sufficient importance
to break one's heart about its loss. I found ample amends in the
intimacy of some subaltern attendants upon the king's person, with
whom a similarity of humor had lately connected me closely. These
new acquaintances of mine were for the most part men from no one
knows where, pushed up to their appointments more by luck than
merit. They had all got into warm berths,, and, wretches as they
were, measuring their own consequence by the excess of royal
bounty, forgot their origin as scandalously as I forgot mine. We
gave ourselves infinite credit for what told so much and bitterly to
our disgrace. O Fortune 1 what a jade you are, to distribute your
favors at hap-hazard as you dol Epictetus was perfectly in the
right when he likened you to a jilt of fashion, prowling about in
masquerade, and tipping the wink to every blackguard who parades
the street.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 473
BOOK IX.
CHAPTER I.
scipio's scheme of makeiage for gil blas. the match, a rich
goldsmith's daughter.
ONE evening, on the departure of my supper company, finding
myself alone with Scipio, I asked him what he had been
doing that day. " Striking a master-stroke," answered he. " I
intend that you shall marry. A goldsmith of my acquaintance
has an only daughter, and I mean to make up a match between
you "
"A goldsmith's daughter !" exclaimed I, with a disdainful air ;
" are you out of your senses ? Can you think of tying me up to a
trinket-maker? People of a certain character in society, and on a
certain footing at court, ought to have much higher views of things."
" Pardon me, sir," rejoined Scipio ; " do not take the subject up in
that light. Eecollect that nobility accrues by the male side, and do
not ride a higher horse than a thousand jockeys of quality whom I
could name. Do you know that the heiress in question will bring
a hundred thousand ducats in her pocket ? Is not that a pretty
little sprig of jewelry?" To the resounding echo of so large a sum
my ears were instantly symphonious. " The day is your own," said
I to the secretary ; " the fortune determines the case in the lady's
favor. When do you mean to put me in possession ?" " Fair and
softly, sir," answered he ; " the more haste, the worse speed It will
be necessary for me first to communicate the afiair to the father, and
instill the advantage of it into his capacity." " Good !" rejoined I,
with a burst of laughter ; " is it thereabouts you are ? The match
is far advanced in its progress towards consummation." " Much
nearer than you suppose," replied he. " But one hour's conversa-
tion with the goldsmith, and I pledge myself for his consent. But,
before we go any farther, let us come to an agreement, if you please.
Supposing that I should transfer a hundred thousand ducats to you,
what would my commission be ?" " Twenty thousand 1" was my
answer. " Heaven be praised -therefor," said he. " I guessed your
gratitude at ten thousand ; so that it doubles mine in a similar
case. Come on then I I will set this negotiation on foot to-morrow
morning ; and you may count upon its success, or I am little better '
than one of the foolish ones."
474 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Two days afterwards he said to me, " I have spoken to Signor
Gabriel Salero, my friend the goldsmith. On the loud report of
your high desert and credit, he has lent a favorable ear to my offer
of you for a son-in-law. You are to have his daughter with a hun-
dred thousand ducats, provided you can make it appear clearly that
you are in possession of the minister's good graces." " Since that is
the case," said I confidently to Scipio, " I shall soon be married.
But, not entirely to forget the girl, have you seen her? Is she
pretty ?" " Not quite so pretty as her fortune," answered he. " Be-
tween ourselves, this heiress's looks are as hard as her cash. Luckily,
you are perfectly indifferent about that." " Stone blind, by the light
of the sun, my good fellow!" replied I. "As for us whimsical fel-
lows about court, we marry merely for the sake of marrying. When
we want beauty, we look for it in our friends' wives ; and if, by fates
and destinies, the sweets are wasted on our own, their flavor is so
mawkish to our palate, that there is some merit in their not carrying
the commodity to a foreign market."
"This is not all," resumed Scipio: "Signor Gabriel hopes for the
pleasure of your company to supper this evening. By agreement,
there is to be no mention of marriage. He has invited several of
his mercantile friends to this entertainment, where you will take
your chance with the rest, and to-morrow he means to sup with you
on the same terms. By this you will perceive his drift of looking
before he leaps. You will do well to be a little on your guard be-
fore him." " O, for the matter of that," interrupted I, with an air
of confidence, " let him scrutinize me as closely as he pleases, the
result cannot fail to be in my favor."
All this happened as it was foretold. I was introduced at the
goldsmith's, who received me with the familiarity of an old ac-
quaintance. A vulgar dog, but warm ; and as troublesome with his
civility as a prude with her virtue. He presented me to Signora
Eugenia his wife, and the youthful Gabriela his daughter. I opened
wide my budget of compliments, without infringing the treaty,
and prattled soft nothings to them, in all the vacuity of courtly
dialogue.
Gabriela, with submission to my secretary's better taste, was not
altogether so repulsive, whether by dint of being outrageously be-
dizened, or because I looked at her in the raree-show box of her for-
tune. A charming house this of Signor Gabriel ! There is less
silver, I verily believe, in the Peruvian mines, than under his roof.
That metal presented itself to the view in all directions, under a
thousand different forms. Every room, and especially that where we
were entertained, was a fairy palace. What a bird's-eye view for a
son-in-law ! The old codger, to do the thing genteelly, had collected
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 475
five or six merchants about him, all plodding, spirit-wearing person-
ages. Their tongues could only talk of what their hearts were set
upon : it was high change all supper-time ; but unfortunately wit
was at a discount.
Next night it was my turn to treat the goldsmith. Not being able
to dazzle him with my sideboard, I had recourse to another artifice.
I invited to supper such of my friends as made the finest figure at
court; hangers-on of state, noted for the unwieldiness of their am-
bition. These fellows could not talk on common topics : the brilliant
and lucrative posts at which they aimed were all canvassed in de-
tail ; this too made its way. Poor counting-house Gabriel, in amaze-
ment at the loftiness of their ideas, shrunk into insignificance, in
spite of all his hoards, on a comparison with these wonderful men.
As for me, in all the plausibility of moderation, I professed to wish
for nothing more than a comfortable fortune ; a snug box and a com-
petence : whereupon these gluttons of the loaves and fishes cried out
with one voice that I was wrong, absolutely criminal ; for the prime
minister would do anything upon earth for me, and it was an act of
duty to anoint my fingers with bird-lime. My honored papa lost
not a word of all this, and seemed, at going away, to take his leave
with some complacency.
Scipio went, of course, the next morning, to ask him how he liked
me. " Extremely well indeed," answered the knight of the ledger ;
" the lad has won my very heart. But, good master Scipio, I con-
jure you by our long acquaintance to deal with me as a true friend.
We have all our weak side, as you well know. Tell me where Sig-
nor de Santillane is fallible. Is he fond of play ? Does he wench ?
On what lay are his snug little vices? Do not fight shy, I beseech
you." " It is very unkind, Signor Gabriel, to put such a question,"
retorted the go-between. " Your interest is more to me than my
master's. If he has any slippery propensities, likely to make your
daughter unhappy, would I ever have proposed him as a son-in-law ?
The deuce a bit ! I am too much at your service. But, between
ourselves, he has but one fault — that of being faultless. He is too
wise for a young man." "So much the better," replied the gold-
smith ; " he is the more like me. You may go, my friend, and tell
him he shall have my daughter, and should have her though he
knew no more of the minister than I do."
As soon as my secretary had reported this conversation, I flew to
thank Salero for his partiality. He had already told his mind to
his wife and daughter, who gave me to understand, by their recep-
tion, that they yielded without disgust. I carried my father-in-law
to the Duke of Lerma. whom I had informed the evening before,
and presented him with due ceremony. His excellency gave him a
476 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
most gracious reception, and congratulated him on having chosen a
man for his son-in-law for whom he himself had so great a regard,
and meant to do such great things. Then did he expatiate on my
good qualities, and, in fact, said so much to my honor, that honest
Gabriel thought he had met with the best match in Spain. His joy
oozed out at his eyes. On parting, he pressed me in his arms, and
said, "My son, I am so impatient to see you Gabriela's husband,
that the affair shall be finally settled within a week at latest."
CHAPTER II.
GIL BLAS EEMEMBEES DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA, AND BENDERS HIM
A SERVICE FROM MOTIVES OF VANITY.
LET US leave my marriage to take care of itself for a season.
The order of events requires me to recount a service rendered
tc my old master Don Alphonso. I had entirely forgotten that
gentleman's existence ; but a circumstance recalled it to my recol-
lection.
The government of Valencia became vacant at this time, and put
me in mind of Don Alphonso de Leyva. I considered within myself
that the employment would suit him to a nicety, and determined to
apply for it on his behalf, not so much out of friendship as ostenta-
tion. If I could but procure it for him, it would do me infinite
honor. I told the Duke of Lerma that I had been steward to Don
Caesar de Leyva and his son, and that, having every reason in the
world to feel myself obliged to them, I should take it as a favor if
he would give the government of Valencia to one or other of them.
The minister answered, " Most willingly, Gil Bias. I love to see
you grateful and generous. Besides, the family stands very high
in my esteem. The Leyvas are loyal subjects ; so that the place
cannot be better bestowed. You may take it as a wedding present,
and do what you like with it."
Delighted at the success of my application, I went to Calderona
in a prodigious hurry, to get the patent made out for Don Alphonso.
There was a great crowd waiting in respectful silence till Don Rod-
rigo should come and give audience. I made my way through, and
the closet door opened as if by sympathy. There were no one knows
how many military and civil oflScers, with other people of conse-
quence, among whom Calderona was dividing his attentions. His
ADVENTUMES OF GIL BIAS. 477
different reception of different people was curious. A slight incli-
nation of the head was enough for some ; others he honored with
a profusion of courtly grimace, and bowed them out of the closet.
The proportions of civility were weighed to a scruple. On the other
hand, there were some suitors who, shocked at his cold indifference,
cursed in their secret soul the necessity for their cringing before
such a monkey of an idol. Others, on the contrary, were laughing
in their sleeve at his gross and self-sufficient air. But the scene
was thrown away upon me ; nor was I likely to profit by such a
lesson. It was exactly the counterpart of my own behavior ; and
I never thought of ascertaining whether my deportment was popular
or offensive, so long as there was no violation of outward respect.
Don Rodrigo, accidentally casting a look towards me, left a gentle-
man, to whom he was speaking, without ceremony, and came to pay
his respects with the most unaccountable tokens of high consider-
ation. " Ah, my dear colleague !" exclaimed he, " what occasion
procures me the pleasure of seeing you here? Is there anything
we can do for you ?" I told him my business ; whereupon he assured
me, in the most obliging terms, that the affair should be expedited
within four-and-twenty hours. Not satisfied with these overwhelm-
ing condescensions, he conducted me to the door of his antechamber,
whither he never attended any but the nobility of first rank. His
farewell was as flattering as his reception.
"What is the meaning of all this palaver?" said I, while retreat-
ing ; " has any raven croaked my entrance, and prophesied promo-
tion to Calderona by my overthrow ? Does he really languish for
my friendship? or does he feel the ground giving way under his
feet, and wish to save himself by clinging to the branches of my
favor and protection ?" It seemed a moot point which of these con-
jectures might be the right. The following day, on my return, his
behavior was of the same stamp ; caresses and civilities poured in
upon me in torrents. It is true that other people, who attempted
to speak to him, were ruraped in exact proportion with the blandish-
ments of his face towards me. He snarled at some, petrified others,
and made the whole circle run the gantlet of his displeasure. But
they were all amply avenged by an occurrence, the relation of which
may give a gentle hint to all the clerks and secretaries on the list of
my readers.
A man very plainly dressed, and certainly not looking at all like
what he was, came up to Calderona, and spoke to him about a
memorial stated to have been presented by himself to the Duke of
Lerma. Don Rodrigo, without looking from his clothes up to his
face, said in a sharp, ungracious tone, " Who may you happen to
be, honest man ?" " They called me Francillo in my childhood,"
478 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
auswered the stranger, unabashed ; " my next style and title was
that of Don Francillo de Zuniga ; and niy present name is the Count
de Pedrosa." Calderona was all in a twitter at this discovery, and
attempted to stammer out an excuse, when he found that he had to
do with a man of the first quality, " Sir," said he to the count, " I
have to beg you ten thousand pardons ; but not knowing whom I
had the honor to " ..." I want none of your apologies," inter-
rupted Francillo, with proud indignation ; " they are as nauseous
as your rudeness was unbecoming. Recollect henceforth that a
minister's secretary ought to receive all descriptions of people with
good manners. You may be vain enough to affect the representative
of your master, but the public know you for his menial servant."
The haughty Don Rodrigo blushed blue at this rebuke. Yet it
did not mend his manners one whit. On me it made a salutary
impression. I determined to take care and ascertain the rank of
my petitioners before I gave a loose to the insolence of oflBce, and
to inflict torture only upon mutes. As Don Alphonso's patent was
made out, I sent it by a special messenger, with a letter from the
Duke of Lerma, announcing the royal favor. But I took no notice
of my own share in the appointment, nor even accompanied it with
a line, in the fond hope of announcing it by word of mouth, and
surprising him agreeably, when he came to court on occasion of
taking the customary oaths.
CHAPTER III.
PREPAEATIONS FOB THE MARRIAGE OF GIL BLAS. A SPOKE IK THK
WHEEL OF HYMEN.
AND now once more for my lovely Gabriela ! We were to be
married in a week. Preparations were making on both sides
for the ceremony. Salero ordered a rich wardrobe for the bride,
and I hired a waiting-woman for her, a footman, and a gentleman
usher of decent aspect and advanced years. The whole establish-
ment was provided by Scipio, who longed more ardently than my-
self for the hour when we were to be fingering the fortune.
On the evening before the happy day, I was supping with my
father-in-law, the rest of the company being made up of uncles,
aunts, and cousins, of either sex and every degree. The part of a
Bupple-visaged son-in-law sat upon me to perfection. Nothing
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 479
could exceed my profound respect for the goldsmith and his wife,
or the transports of my passion at Gabriela's feet, while I smoothed
my way into the graces of the family, by listening with impregnable
patience to their witless repartees and irrational ratiocinations.
Thus did I gain the great end of all my forbearance — the pleasure
of pleasing my new relations. Every individual of the clan felt
himself a foot taller for the honor of my alliance.
The repast ended, the company moved into a large room, where
we were entertained with a concert of vocal and instrumental music,
not the worst that was ever heard, though the performers were not
selected from the choicest bands of Madrid. Some lively airs put
US in mind of dancing. Heaven knows what sort of performers we
must have been, when they took me for the coryphaeus of the opera,
though I never had but two or three lessons from a petty dancing-
master, who taught the pages on the establishment of the Mar-
chioness de Chaves. After we had tired our tendons, it was time to
think of going home. There was no end of my bows and God bless
you's. " Farewell, my dear son-in-law !" said Salero, as he squeezed
my hand ; " I shall be at your house in the morning with the por-
tion in ready money." " You will be welcome, come when you
list, my dear father-in-law," answered I. Afterwards, wishing the
family good-night, I jumped into my carriage, and ordered it to
drive home.
Scarcely had I got two hundred yards from Signor Gabriel's
house, when fifteen or twenty men, some on foot and some on
horseback, all with swords and firearms, surrounded and stopped
the coach, crying out, "In the name of our sovereign lord the
king 1" They dragged me out by main force, and thrust me into a
hack-chaise, when the leader of the party got in with me, and
ordered the driver to go for Segovia. There could be no doubt but
the honest gentleman by my side was an alguazil. I wanted to know
something abou£ the cause of my arrest ; but he answered in the
language of those gentry, which is very bad language, that he had
other things to do than to satisfy my impertinent curiosity. I
suggested that Ive might have mistaken his man. " No, no," re-
torted he : " the fool is wiser than that. You are Signor de Santil-
lune, and in that case you are to go along with me." Not being able
to deny that fact, it became an act of prudence to hold my tongue.
For the remainder of the night we traversed Mancanarez in sulky
silence, changed horses at Colmenar, and arrived the next evening
at Segovia, where the lodging provided for me was in the tower.
480 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
CHAPTEK IV.
THE TBR4.TMENT OF GIL BLAS IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA. THE
CAUSE OF HIS IMPRISONMENT.
THEIR first favor was to clap me iu a cell, where they left me
on the straw like a criminal, whose only earthly portion was
to con over his dying speech in solitude. I passed the night, not in
bewailing my fate, — for it had not yet presented itself in all its
aggravation, — but in endeavoring to divine its cause. Doubtless it
must have been Calderona's handiwork. And yet, though his
branching honors might have pressed thick upon his senses, I could
not conceive how the Duke of Lerma could have been induced to
treat me so inhumanly Sometimes I apprehended my arrest to
have been without his excellency's knowledge ; at other times I
thought him the contriver of it, for some political reasons, such as
weigh with ministers when they sacrifice their accomplices at the
shrine of state policy.
My mind was vibrating to and fro with these various conjectures,
when the dawn, peeping in at my little grated window, presented to
my sight all the horror of the place where I was confined. Then
did I vent my sorrows without ceasing, and my eyes became two
springs of tears, flowing inexhaustibly at the remembrance of my
prosperous state. Pending this paroxysm of grief, a turnkey brought
me my day's allowance of bread and water. He looked at me, and
on the contemplation of my tear-besprinkled visage, jailer as he
was, there came over him a sentiment of pity : " Do not despair,"
said he. " This life is full of crosses, but mind them not, You are
young ; after these days, you will live to see better. In the mean-
time, eat at the king's mess with what appetite you may."
My comforter withdrew with this quaint invitation, answered by
my groans and tears. The rest of the day was spent in cursing my
wayward destiny, without thinking of my empty stomach. As for
the royal morsel, it seemed more like the message of wrath than
the boon of benevolence ; the tantalizing protraction of pain, rather
than the solace of affliction.
Night came, and with it the rattle of a key in my keyhole. My
dungeon door opened, and in came a man with a wax-light in his
hand. He advanced towards me, saying, "Signor Gil Bias, behold
in me one of your old friends. I am Don Andrew de Tordesillas,
in the Archbishop of Granada's service while you enjoyed that pre-
late's favor. You may recollect engaging his interest in my behalf,
and thereby procuring me a post in Mexico ; but instead of em-
I
ADVENTUMES OF GIL BIAS. 481
barking for the Indies, I stopped in the town of Alicant. There I
married the governor's daughter, and by a series of adventures of
which you shall hereafter have the particulars, I am now warden of
this tower. It is expressly forbidden me to let you speak to any
living soul, to give you any better bed than straw, or any other sus-
tenance than bread and water. But besides that your misfortunes
interest my humanity, you have done me service, and gratitude
countervails the harshness of my orders. They think to make me
the instrument of their cruelty, but it is my better purpose to soften
the rigor of your captivity, Get up and follow me."
Though my humane keeper was entitled to some acknowledgment,
my spirits were so affected as to interdict my speech. All I could
do was to attend him. We crossed a court, and mounted a narrow
staircase to a little room at the top of the tower. It was no small
surprise, on entering, to find a table, with lights on it, neatly set out
with covers for two, " They will serve up immediately," said Tor-
desillas. " We are going to sup together. This snug retreat is ap-
pointed for your lodging , it will agree better with you than your
cell. From your window you will look down on the flowery banks
of the Erema, and the delicious vale of Coca, bounded by the moun-
tains which divide the two Castilles, At first you will care little for
the prospects , but when time shall have softened your keener sen-
sations into a composed melancholy, it will be a pleasure to feast
your eyes on such engaging scenes. Then, as for linen and other
necessaries befitting a man accustomed to the comforts of life, they
shall be always at your service. Your bed and board shall be such
as you could wish, with a plentiful supply of books. In a word,
you shall have everything but your liberty "
My spirits were a little tranquillized by these obliging offers. I
took courage, and returned my best thanks, assuring him that his
generous conduct restored me to life, and that I hoped at some time
or other to find an opportunity of testifying my gratitude. " To be
sure; and why should you not?" answered he. "Did you fancy
yourself a prisoner for life ? Nothing less likely ! and I would lay
a wager that you will be released in a very few months." "What
say you, Signor Don Andrew?" exclaimed I. "Then surely you
are acquainted with the occasion of my misfortune." " You guess
rightly," replied he. * " The alguazil who brought you hither told me
the whole story in confidence. The king, hearing that the Count de
Lemos and you were in the habit of escorting the Prince of Spain
by night to a house of a suspicious character, as a punishment for
your loose morals has banished the count, and sent you hither, to
be treated in the style of which you have had a specimen." "And
how," said I, "did that circumstance come to the king's knowledge?
31
482 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
That is what I am most curious to ascertain." " And that," an-
swered he, " is precisely what the alguazil did not tell, apparently
because he did not know,"
At this epoch of our conversation, the servants brought in supper.
When everything was set in order, Tordesillaa sent away the attend-
ants, not wishing our conversation to be overheard. He shut the
door, and we took our seats opposite to each other, " Let us say
grace, and fall to," said he. " Your appetite ought to be good after
two days of fasting." Under this impression he loaded my plate
as if he had been cramming the craw of a starveling. In fact,
nothing was more likely than that I should play the devil among
the ragouts; but what is likely does, not always happen. Though
my intestines were yearning for support, their staple stuck in my
throat, for my heart loathed all pleasurable indulgence in the pre-
sent state of my affairs. In vain did my warden, to drive away the
blue devils, pledge me continually, and expatiate on the excellence
of his wine ; imperishable nectar would have been pricked, accord-
ing to the fastidious report of my palate. This being the case, he
went another way to work, and told me the story of his marriage,
with as much humor as such a subject would admit. Here he was
still less successful. So wandering was my attention, that before the
end, I had forgotten the beginning and the middle. At length he
was convinced that there was no diverting my gloomy thoughts for
that evening. After finishing his solitary supper, he rose from table,
saying, " Signor de Santillane, I shall leave you to your repose, or
rather to the free indulgence of your own reveries. But, take my
word for it, your misfortune will not be of long continuance. The
king is naturally good. When his anger shall have passed away,
and your deplorable estate shall occur to his milder thoughts, your
punishment will appear sufficient in his eyes." With these words,
my kind-hearted jailer went down stairs, and sent the servants to
take away. Not even the brass candlesticks were left behind ; and
I went to bed by the palpable darkness of a glimmering lamp sus-
pended against the wall.
ALVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 483
CHAPTER V.
HIS REFLECTIONS BEFORE HE WENT TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT, AND THE
NOISE THAT WAKED HIM.
TWO hours at least were my thoughts employed on what Tor-
desillas had told me. " Here then am I, for having lent myself
to the pleasures of the heir-apparent ! It was certainly not having
ray wits about me, to pander for so young a prince. Therein con-
sists my crime : had he been arrived at a more knowing age, the
king perhaps might only have laughed at what has now made him
so angry. But who can have given such counsel to the monarch,
without dreading the prince's resentment or the Duke of Lerma's ?
That minister will doubtless take ample vengeance for his nephew
the Count de Lemos. How can the king have made the discovery ?
That is above my comprehension."
This last was the eternal burden of my song. But the idea most
afflictive to my mind, what drove me to despair, and laid fiend-like
hold upon my fancy, was the unquestioned plunder of my effects.
" My strong box," exclaimed I, " my dear wealth, what is become of
you ? Into what hands have you fallen ? Alas ! you are lost in less
time than you were gained.!" The ruinous confusion of my house-
hold was the perpetual death's-head of my imagination. Yet this
wilderness of melancholy ideas sheltered me from absolute distrac-
tion ; sleep, which, had shunned my wretched straw, now paid his
readier visit to my soft and gentlemanly couch. Watching and
wine, too, imparted a strong narcotic to his poppies. My slumbers
were profound ; and to all appearance, the day might have peeped
in upon my repose, if I had not been awakened all at once by such
sounds as rarely perforate a prison wall. I heard the thrum of a
guitar, accompanying a man's voice. My whole attention was ab-
sorbed ; but the invisible musician paused, and left the fleeting im-
pression of a dream. An instant afterwards, my ear was soothed
with the sound of the same instrument, and the same voice.
Wisely the ant against poor winter hoards
The stock which summer's wealth affords ;
In gfasshoppers, that must at autumn die,
How vain were such an industry 1
Of love or fortune the deceitful light
Might half excuse our cheated sight,
If it of life the whole small time would stay,
And be our sunshine all the day.*
* To have substituted, with a slight variation, these two stanzas from Cowley for a
traiislation of the commonplace couplet in the original, will not be thought to require
484 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
These verses, which sounded as if they had been sung expressly
for the dirge of my departed happiness, were only an aggravation of
my feelings. " The truth of the sentiment," said I, " is but too well
exemplified in me. The meteor of court favor has but plunged me
in substantial darkness, the summer sunshine of ambition is
quenched in these autumnal glooms." Now did I sink again into
cold and comfortless meditation ; my miseries began to flow afresh,
as if they fed and grew upon their own vital stream. Yet my wail-
ings ended with the night ; and the first rays which played upon my
chamber wall amused my mind into composure. I got up to open
my window, and let the vivid air of morning into my room. Then
I glanced over the country, so attractively depicted in the descrip-
tion of my keeper. It did not seem to justify this panegyric. The
ErSma, a second Tagus in my magnifying fancy, was little better
than a brook. Its flowery banks were fringed with nettles, and
arrayed in all the majesty of thistles ; the delicious vale in this fairy
prospect was a barren wilderness, untamed by human labor. It
therefore was very evident that my keener sensations were not yet
softened into such a composed melancholy as could give any but a
jaundiced coloring to the landscape.
I began dressing, and had already half finished my toilet, when
Tordesillas ushered in an old chambermaid, laden with shirts and
towels. "Signer Gil Bias," said he, ' here is your linen. Do not
be saving of it ; there shall always be as many changes as you can
possibly want. Well now ! and how have you passed the night ?
Has the drowsy god administered his anodyne?" "I could have
slept till this time," answered I, " if I had cot been awakened by a
voice singing to a guitar." " The cavalier who has disturbed your
repose," resumed he, " is a state prisoner; and his chamber is con-
tiguous to yours. He is a knight of the military' order of Calatrava,
and is a very accomplished person. His name is Don Gaston de
Cogollos. You may meet as often as you like, and take your meals
together. It will afford reciprocal consolation to compare your for-
tunes. There can be no doubt of your being agreeable to one
another." I assured Don Andrew how sensible I was of his indul-
gence in allowing me to blend my sorrows with those of my fellow-
sufferer ; and, as I betrayed some impatience to be acquainted with
him, our accommodating warden met my wishes on the very same
day. He fixed me to dine with Don Gaston, whose prepossessing
physiognomy and symmetry of feature struck me sensibly. Judge
what it must have been to make so strong an impression on eyes ac-
customed to encounter the dazzling exterior of the court. Figure to
any apology. They necessarily inTolve a change in the consequent reflections of our
hero.— Tbakslatob.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 485
yourself a man fashioned in the mould of pleasure ; one of those
heroes in romance, who has only to show his face, and banish sweet
sleep from the eyelids of princesses. Add to this, that nature,
who is generally bountiful with one hand and niggardly with the-
other, had crowned the perfections of CogoUos with wit and valor.
He was a man whose like, take him for all in all, we might not soon
look upon again.
If this fine fellow was mightily to my taste, it was my good luck
not to be altogether offensive to him. He no longer sang at night
for fear of annoying me, though I begged him by no means to re-
strain his inclinations on my account. A bond of union is soon
formed between brethren in misfortune. A close friendship suc-
ceeded to mere acquaintance, and strengthened from day to day.
The liberty of uninterrupted intercourse contributed greatly to our
mutual support ; our burden became lighter by division.
One day after dinner I went into his room, just as he was tuning
his guitar. To hear him more at my ease, I sat down on the only
stool ; while he, reclining on his bed, played a pathetic air, and sang
to it a ditty expressing the despair of a lover and the cruelty of his
mistress. When he had finished, I said to him with a smile, " Sir
knight, such strains as these could never be applicable to your own
successes with the fair. You were not made to cope with female re-
pulse." ", You think too well of me," answered he. "The verses
you have just heard were composed to fit my own case — to soften a
heart of adamant. You must hear my story, and in my story, my
distresses."
CHAPTER VI.
HISTORY OF DON GASTON DE COGOLLOS AND DONNA HELENA DE
GALISTEO.
u T^x will be very soon four years since I left Madrid to go and see
1 my aunt Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla at Coria : she is one of
the richest dowagers in Old Castille, with myself for her only heir.
Scarcely had I got within her doors, when love invaded my repose.
The windows of my room faced the lattice of a lady living opposite;
but the street was narrow, and her blinds pervious to the eye. It
was an opportunity too delicious to be lost, and I found my neigh-
bor so lovely that my heart was captivated. The subject of my
sentry-watch could not be mistaken. She marked it well ; but she
486 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
was not a girl to glory in the detection, still less to enconrage my
fooleries.
" It was natural to inquire the name of this mighty conqueror.
I learned it to be Donna Helena, only daughter of Don George de
Galisteo, lord of a large domain near C!oria. She had innumerable
offers of marriage ; but her father repulsed them all, because he
meant to bestow her hand on his nephew, Don Austin de Olighera,
who had uninterrupted access to his cousin while the settlements
were preparing. This was no bar to my hopes : on the contrary, it
whetted my eagerness, and the insolent pleasure of supplanting a
favored rival was, perhaps, at bottom equally my motive with a more
noble passion. My visual artillery was obstinately planted against
my unyielding fair. Her attendant Felicia was not without any in-
cense of a glance, to soften her rigid constancy in my favor, while
nods and becks stood for the current coin of language. But all
these efforts of gallantry were in vain — the maid was impregnable
like her mistress — never was there such a pair of cold and cruel
ones.
" The commerce of the eyes being so unthrifty, I had recourse to
different agents. My scouts were on the watch to hunt out what
acquaintance Felicia might have in town. They discovered an old
lady, by name Theodora, to be -her most intimate friend, and that
they often met. Delighted at the intelligence, I went point blank
to Theodora, and engaged her by presents in my interest. She took
my cause up heartily, promised to contrive an interview for me with
her friend, and kept her engagement the very next day.
" ' I am no longer the wretch of yesterday,' said I to Felicia,
* since my sufferings have melted you to pity. How deep is my
debt to your friend for her kind interference in my behalf!' 'Sir,'
answered she, ' Theodora can do what she pleases with me. She has
brought me over to your side of the question ; and if I can do you a
kindness, you shall soon be at the summit of your wishes ; but, with
all my partiality in your favor, I know not how far my efforts may
be successful. It would be cruel to mislead you ; the prize will not
be gained without a severe conflict. The object of your passion is
betrothed to another gentleman, and her character most inauspi-
cious to your designs. Such is her pride, and so closely locked are
her secrets within her own breast, that if, by constancy and assid-
uities, you could extort from her a few sighs, fancy not that her
haughty spirit would indulge your ears with their music' ' Ah !
my dear Felicia,' exclaimed I, in an agony, 'why will you thus
magnify the obstacles in my way ? To set them in array will kill
me. Lead me on with false hopes,.if you will, but do not drive me
to despair.' With these words I took one of her hands, pressed it
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 487
between 'mine, and slid a diamond on her finger, value three hun-
dred pistoles, with such a moving compliment as made her weep
again.
" Such speeches and corresponding actions deserved some scanty
comfort. She smoothed a little the rugged path of love. * Sir,' said
she, * what I have just been telling you need not quite quench your
hope. Your rival, it is true, is in possession of the ground. He
comes back and fore as he pleases. He toys with her as often as he
likes ; but all that is in your favor. The habit of constant inter-
course sheds a languor over their meetings. They part without
pain, and come together without emotion. One would take them
for man and wife. In a word, my mistress has no marks of violent
love for Don Austin. Besides, in point of person, there is such a
difference between you and him as cannot fail to catch the eye of a
nice observer like Donna Helena, Therefore do not be cast down.
Continue your particular attentions. You shall have a second in
me. I shall let no opportunity escape of pointing out to my mis-
tress the merit of all your exertions to please her. In vain shall she
intrench herself behind reserve. In spite of guard and garrison, I
will ransack the muster-roll of her sentiments.'
" Now were my open attacks and secret ambuscades more fiercely
pointed against the daughter of Don George. Among the rest, I
entertained her with a serenade. After the concert, Felicia, to sound
her mistress, begged to know how she had been entertained. ' The
singer has a good voice,' said Donna Helena. 'But how did you
like the words?' replied the abigail. 'I scarcely noted them,' re-
turned the lady ; ' the music engrossed my whole attention. The
poetry excited as little curiosity as its author.' * If that is the case,'
exclaimed the chambermaid, * poor Don Gaston de Cogollos is reck-
oning without his host; and a miserable spendthrift of his glances,
to be always ogling at our lattice-work.' 'Perhaps it may not be
he,' said the mistress, with petrifying indifference, ' but some other
spark, announcing his passion by this concert.' ' Excuse me,' an-
swered Felicia, 'it is Don Gaston himself, who accosted me this
morning in the street, and implored me to assure you how he adored
you, in defiance of your rigorous repulses, but that he should esteem
himself the most blest of mortals if you would allow him to soothe
his desponding thoughts by all the most delicate and impassioned
attentions. Judge now if I can be mistaken, after so open an
avowal.'
"Don George's daughter changed countenance at once, and said
to her servant, with a severe frown, ' You might well have dispensed
with the relation of this impertinent discourse. Bring me no more
such idle tales ; and tell this young madman, when next he accosts
488 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
you, to play off his shallow artifices on some more accommodating
fool ; but, at all events, let him choose a more gentlemanly recrea-
tion than that of lounging all day at his window, and prying into
the privacy of my apartment.'
" This message was faithfully delivered at my next interview with
Felicia, who assured me that her mistress's modes of speech were
not to be taken in their literal construction, but that my affairs were
in the best possible train. For my part, being little read in the
science of coquetry, and finding no favorable sense on the face of
the author's original words, I was half out of humor with the wire-
drawn comments of the critic. She laughed at my misgivings, and
asked her friend for pen, ink, and paper, saying, ' Sir knight of the
doleful countenance, write immediately to Donna Helena as dole-
fully as you look. Make echo ring with your sufl'erings ; outsigh
the river's murmur ; and, above all, let rocks and woods resound
with the prohibition of appearing at your window. Then pawn
your existence on obeying her, though without the possibility ever
to redeem the pledge Turn all that nonsense into pretty sentences,
as you gay deceivers so well know how to do, and leave the rest to
me. The event, I flatter myself, will redound more than you are
aware to the honor of my penetration.'
" He must have been a strange lover who would not have profited
by so opportune an occasion of writing to his mistress. My letter
was couched in the most pathetic terms. Felicia smiled at its
contents, and said that if the women knew the art of infatuating
men, the men, in return, had borrowed their influence over women
from the arch wheedler himself. My privy counsellor took the note,
and went back to Don George's, with a special injunction that my
windows should be fast shut for some days.
" * Madam,' said she, going up to Donna Helena, 'I met Don Gas-
ton. He must needs endeavor to come round me with his flattering
speeches. In tremulous accents, like a culprit pleading against his
sentence, he begged to know whether I had spoken to you on his
behalf. Then, in prompt and faithful compliance with your orders,
I snapped up the words out of his mouth. To be sure, my tongue
did run at a fine rate against him. I called him all manner of
names, and left him in the street like a stock, staring at my ter-
magant loquacity.' ' I am delighted,' answered Donna Helena, 'that
you have disengaged me from that troublesome person. But there
wasBo occasion to have snubbed him so unmercifully. A creature
of your degree should always keep a good tongue in its mouth.'
* Madam,' replied the domestic, * one cannot get rid of a determined
lover by mincing one's words, though it comes to much the same
thing when one flies into a passion. Don Gaston, for instance, was
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 489
not to be bullied out of his senses. After having given it him on
both sides of his ears, as I told you, I went on that errand of yours
to the house of your relation. The lady, as ill luck would have it,
kept me longer than she ought. I say longer than she ought, be-
cause my plague and torment met me on my return. Who the
deuce would have thought of seeing him? It put me all in a
flutter ; but then my tongue, which at other times is apt to be in a
twitter, stuck motionless in my mouth. While in this condition,
what did he do ? He slid a paper into my hand without giving me
time to consider whether I should take it or no, and made off in a
moment.'
"After this introduction, she drew my letter from under her
stays, and gave it with half a banter to her mistress, who affected to
read it in humorous scorn, but digested the contents most greedily,
and then put on the starch, ofl'ended prude. 'In good earnest,
Felicia,' said she, with all the gravity she could assume, ' you were
extremely off your guard, quite bewildered and fascinated, to have
taken the charge of such an epistle. What construction would Don
Gaston put upon it? What must I think of it myself? You give
me reason, by this strange behavior, to mistrust your fidelity, while
he must suspect me of encouraging his odious suit. Alas ! he may,
perhaps, lay that flattering unction to his soul, that my love is legi-
ble in these characters, and not his trespass. Only consider how
you lay my towering pride.' ' Oh I quite the reverse, madam,' an-
Bwered the petticoated pleader ; ' it is impossible for him to think
that ; and if he did, he would soon be convinced with a flea in his ear.
I shall tell him, when next we meet, that I have delivered his letter,
that you glanced at the superscription with petrifying indifference,
and then, without reading a word, tore it into ten thousand pieces.'
'You may swear that I did not read it with a safe conscience,' re-
plied Donna Helena. ' I should be puzzled to retrace a single sen-
timent.' Don George's daughter, not contented with these words,
suited the action to them, tore my letter, and imposed silence on my
advocate.
"As I had promised no longer to play the lover at my window,
the farce of obedience was kept up for several days. Ogling being
interdicted, my courtship was doomed to enter in at my Helena's
obdurate ears. One night I attended under her balcony with musi-
cians ; the first bars of the serenade were already playing, when a
swaggering blade, sword in hand, rushed in upon our harmony,
laying about him to the right and left, to the utter discomfiture of
the troop. Such mad warfare fired my tilting propensities to equal
fury. The affray became serious. Donna Helena and her maid
were disturbed by the clash of swords. They looked out at their
490 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
lattice, and saw two men engaged. Their cries roused Don George
and his servants. The whole neighborhood was assembled to part
the combatants. But they came too late : on the field of battle,
bathed in its own blood and almost lifeless, lay my unfortunate
body. They carried me to my aunt's, and sent for the best surgical
assistance in the place.
"All the world was merciful, and wished me well, especially
Donna Helena, whose heart was now unmasked. Her forced
severity yielded to her natural feelings. Would you believe it?
The cold, relentless, insensible, was kindled into the warmest of
love's votaries. She wore out the remainder of the night in weep-
ing with her faithful confidante, and giving her cousin, Don Austin
de Olighera, to perdition ; for him they taxed with the plotted mas-
sacre, and the bill was a true one. He could hide his heart as well
as his cousin ; he therefore watched my motions, without seeming
to suspect them , and fancying them not to be without a corre-
sponding impulse, he resolved not to be sacrificed with impunity.
The accident was an awkward one to me, but it ended in over-
powering rapture. Dangerous as my wound was, the surgeon soon
brought me about. I was still confined to my chamber, when my
aunt. Donna Eleonora, went over to Don George, and made pro-
posals for Donna Helena. He consented the more readily to the
marriage, as he never expected to see Don Austin again. The good
old man was afraid of his daughter's not liking me, because cousin
Olighera had kept her company ; but she was so tractable to the
parental behest as to furnish grounds for believing that in Spain,
as in other countries, the species, not the individual, is the object
with the sex.
"Felicia, at our first private meeting, communicated the emo-
tions of her mistress on my misfortune. Now, like another Paris,
I thought Troy well lost for my Helen, and blessed the happy conse-
quences of my wound. Don George allowed me to speak with his
daughter in presence of her attendant. What a heavenly interview !
I begged and prayed the lady so earnestly to tell me whether her
sufferance of my vows was forced upon her by her father, that she
at length confessed her obedience to be in unison with her inclina-
tions. After so delicious a declaration, my whole soul was given
up to love and pleasurable gratifications. Our nuptials were to be
graced by a magnificent procession of al.' the principal people in
Coria and the neighborhood.
" I gave a splendid party at my aunt's country-house, in the
suburbs on the side of Manrcfi. Don George, his daughter, the
family, and friends on both sides, were present. There was a con-
cert of vocal and instrumental music, with a company of strolling
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 491
players, to represent a comedy. In the middle of the festivities,
some one whispered me that a man wanted to speak with me in the
hall I got up from table to go and see who it was. The stranger
looked like a gentleman's servant. He put a letter into my hand,
containing these words : —
"'If you have any sense of honor, as a knight of your order
ought to have, you will not fail to attend to-morrow morning in
the plain of Manroi There you will find an antagonist ready to
give you your revenge for his former attack upon your person, or,
what he rather hopes and meditates, to spoil your connubial trans-
ports with Donna Helena
'Don Austin de Oligheea.'
If love is a Spanish passion, revenge is the Spanish lunacy. Such
a note as this was not to be read with composure. At the mere
subscription of Don Austin, there kindled in my veins a fire which
almost made me forget the claims of hospitality. I was tempted to
steal away from my company, and seek my antagonist on the in-
stant For fear of disturbing the merriment, hqwever, I bridled in
my rage, and said to the messenger, ' My friend, you may tell your
employer that I shall meet him on the appointed spot at sunrise,
and resume the contest with obstinacy equal to his own.'
"After sending this answer, I resumed my seat at table with so
composed a mien that no creature had the least suspicion of what
had occurred. During the rest of the day I gave myself up to the
pleasures of the festival, which ended not till midnight The guests
then returned to town ; but I stayed behind, under pretext of taking
the air on the following morning. Instead of going to bed, I watched
for the dawn with maddening impatience. With the first ray I got
on horseback, and rode alone towards Manroi. On the plain was a
horseman, riding up to me at full speed. I pushed forward, and we
met half way. It was my rival. ' Knight,' said he, superciliously,
' it is against my will that I meet you a second time on the same
occasion ; but you have brought your fate on yourself. After the
adventure of the serenade, you ought to have waived your preten-
sions to Don George's daughter, or at least to have been assured
that the support of them must cost you dearer than a single en-
counter.' ' You are too much elated,' answered I, ' with an advan-
tage which is less owing, perhaps, to your superior skill than to the
darkness of the night. Remember that victory is of the same blind
family with fortune.' ' It shall be my lot to teach you,' replied he,
with insulting scorn, ' that I have unsealed the eyes of both.'
" At this proud defiance, we both dismounted, tied our horses to a
tree, and engaged with equal fury. I must candidly acknowledge
492 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
the prowess of my antagonist^ who was a consummate master of
fencing. My life was exposed to the greatest possible danger.
Nevertheless, as the strong is often vanquished by the weak, my
rival, in spite of all his science, received a thrust through the heart,
and fell a lifeless corpse.
" I immediately returned, and told a confidential servant what
had happened, i^^^aesting him to take horse and acquaint my aunt,
before the officers of justice could get intelligence of the event. He
was also to obtain from her a supply of money and jewels, and then
join me at the first inn as you enter Plazencia.
" All this was performed within three hours. Donna Eleonora
rather triumphed than mourned over a catastrophe which restored
my injured honor, and sent me large remittances for my travels
abroad till the affair had blown over.
" Not to dwell on different circumstances, suffice it to say, that I
embarked for Italy, and equipped myself so as to make a respectable
figure at the several courts.
" While I was endeavoring to beguile the weary hours of absence,
Helena was weeping at home from the same cause. Instead of
joining in the family resentment, her heart was panting for a com-
promise, and for my speedy return. Six months had already elapsed,
and I firmly believe that her constancy would have been proof
against the track of time, had time been seconded by no more pow-
erful ally. Don Bias de Combados, a gentleman from the western
coast of Galicia, came to Coria, to take possession of a rich inherit-
ance unsuccessfully contested by a near relation. He liked that
country so much better than his own, that he made it his principal
residence. Combados was a personable man. His manners were
gentle and well bred, his conversation most insinuating. AVith such
a passport, he soon got into the best company, and knew all the
family concerns of the place.
" It was not long before he heard of Don George's daughter, and
of her extraordinary beauty. This at once touched his curiosity ;
he was eager to behold so formidable a lady. For this purpose, he
endeavored to worm himself into the good graces of her father, and
succeeded so well, that the old gentleman, already looking on him
as a son-in-law, gave him free admission to the house, and the liberty
of conversing with Donna Helena in his presence. The Galician
soon became deeply enamored of her ; indeed, it was the common
fate of all who had ever beheld her charms. He opened his heart
to Don George, who consented to his paying his addresses, but told
him that so far from offering violence to her inclination, he should
never interfere in her choice. Hereupon Don Bias pressed every
device that impassioned ingenuity could suggest into his service.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 498
to melt and warm the icicles of reserve ; but the lady was impene-
trable to his arts, fast bound in the fetters of an earlier love.
Felicia, however, was in the new suitor's interest, convinced of his
merit by the universal argument. All the faculties of her soul were
called forth in his cause. On the other hand, the father urged his
wishes and entreaties. Thus was Donna Helena tormented for a
whole year with their importunities, and yet her faith continued
unshaken.
" Combados, finding that Don George and Felicia took up his
cause with very little success, proposed an expedient for conquering
prejudice, to the following effect. We will suppose a merchant of
Coria to have received a letter from his Italian correspondent, in
which, among the news of the day, there shall be the following para-
graph : ' A Spanish gentleman, Don Gaston de Cogollos, has lately
arrived at the court of Parma. He is said to be nephew and sole
heir to a rich widow of Coria. He is paying his addresses to a
nobleman's daughter ; but the family wishes to ascertain the validity
of his pretensions. Send me word, therefore, whether you know
this Don Gaston, together with the amount of his aunt's fortune. On
your answer the marriage will depend. Parma, . . . day of, &c.'
" The old gentleman considered this trick as a mere ebullition of
humor, a lawful stratagem of amorous warfare ; and the jade of a go-
between, with conscience still more callous than her master's, was
delighted with the probability of the manoeuvre. It seemed to be so
much the more happily imagined, as they knew Helena to be a proud
girl, capable of taking decisive measures in the moment of surprise
and indignation. Don George undertook to be the herald of my
fickleness, and by way of coloring the contrivance more naturally,
to confront the pretended correspondent with her. This project was
executed as soon as formed. The father, with counterfeit emotions
of displeasure, said to Donna Helena, ' Daughter, it is not enough
now to tell you that our relations inveigh against an alliance with
Don Austin's murderer ; a still stronger reason henceforward presses
to detach you from Don Gaston. It may overwhelm you with shame
to have been his dupe so long. Here is an undeniable proof of his
inconstancy. Only read this letter, just received by a merchant of
Coria from Italy.' The trembling Helena caught at this forged
paper, glanced over the writing, then weighed every expression, and
stood aghast at the import of the whole. A keen pang of disappoint-
ment wrung from her a few reluctant tears; but pride came to her
assistance ; she wiped away the falling drops of weakness, and said
to her father, in a determined tone, ' Sir, you have just been witness
of my folly ; now bear testimony to my triumph over myself. The
delusion is past ; Don Gaston is the object of my utter contempt. I
494 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
am ready to meet Don Bias at the altar, and be beforehand with the
traitor in the pledge of our transferred affections.' Don George,
transported with joy at this change, embraced his daughter, extolled
her spirit to the skies, and hastened the necessary preparation with
all the self-complacency of a successful plotter.
" Thus was Donna Helena snatched from me. She threw herself
into the arms of Combados in a pet, not listening to the secret
whispers of love within her breast, nor suspecting a story which
ought to have seemed so improbable in the annals of true passion.
The haughty are always the victims of their own rash conclusions.
Eesentment of insulted beauty triumphed wholly over the sugges-
tions of tenderness. And yet a few days after marriage there came
over her some feelings of remorse for her precipitation ; it struck
her that the letter might have been a forgery, and the very possi-
bility disturbed her peace. But the enamored Don Bias left his
wife no time to nurse up thoughts injurious to their new-found
joys ; a succession of gayety and pleasure kept her in a thought-
less whirl, and shielded her from the pangs of unavailing repent-
ance.
" She appeared to be in high good humor with so spirit-stirring
a husband, so that they were living together in perfect unanimity,
when my aunt adjusted my affair with Don Austin's relations. Of
this she wrote me word to Italy. I returned on the wings of love.
Donna Eleonora, not having announced the marriage, informed me
of it on my arrival, and remarking what pain it gave me, said,
'You are in the wrong, nephew, to show so much feeling for a
faithless fair. Banish from your memory a person so unworthy to
share its tender recollections.'
" As my aunt did not know how Donna Helena had been played
upon, she had reason to talk as she did ; nor could she have given
me better advice. To affect indifference, if not to conquer my pas-
sion, was my bounden duty. Yet there could be no harm in just
inquiring by what means this union had been brought about. To
get at the truth, I determined on applying to Felicia's friend, Theo-
dora. There I met with Felicia herself, who was confounded at my
unwelcome presence, and would have escaped from the necessity of
explanation. But I stopped her. ' Why do you avoid me ?' said I.
' Has your perjured mistress forbidden you to give ear to my com-
plaints? or would you make a merit with the ungrateful woman of
your voluntary refusal ?'
Sir,' answered the plotting abigail, ' I confess my fault, and
throw myself on your mercy. Your appearance here has filled me
with remorse. My mistress has been betrayed, and, unhappily, in
part by my agency.' The particulars of this infernal device followed
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ■ 496
this avowal, with an endeavor to make me amends for its lamentable
consequence. To this effect she offered me her services with her
mistress, and promised to undeceive her; in a word, to work night
and day that she might soften the rigor of my sufferings, and open
the career of hope.
" I pass over the numberless contradictions she experienced be-
fore she could accomplish the projected interview. It was at length
arranged to admit me privately, while Don Bias was at his hunting-
seat. The plot did not linger. The husband went into the country,
and they sent for me to his lady's apartment.
" My onset was reproachful in the extreme, but my mouth was
soon shut upon the subject. ' It is useless to look back upon the
past,' said the lady. ' It can be no part of our present intention to
work upon each other's feelings, and you are grievously mistaken if
you fancy me inclined to flatter your aspiring hopes. My sole in-
ducement for receiving you here was to tell you personally that you
have only henceforth to forget me. Perhaps I might have been
better satisfied with my lot had it been united with yours ; but
since Heaven has ordered it otherwise, we must submit to its de-
crees.'
" ' What, madam V answered I, ' is it not enough to have lost
you, to see my successful rival in quiet possession of all my soul
holds dear, but I must also banish you from my thoughts ? You
would tear from me even my passion, my only remaining blessing !
And think you that a man whom you have once enchanted can re-
cover his self-possession ? Know yourself better, and cease to enforce
impracticable behests.' ' Well, then, if so,' rejoined she with hurried
importunity, ' do you cease to flatter yourself with interesting my
gratitude or my pity. In one short word, the wife of Don Bias shall
never be the mistress of Don Gaston. Let us at once end a conver-
sation at which delicacy revolts in spite of virtue, and peremptorily
forbids its longer continuance.'
" I now threw myself at the lady's feet in despair. All the powers
of language and of tears were called forth to soften her. But even
this served only to excite some inbred sentiments of compassion,
stifled as soon as born, and sacrificed at the shrine of duty. After
having fruitlessly exhausted all my stores of tender persuasion, rage
took possession of my breast. I drew my sword, and would have
fallen on its point before the inexorable Helena ; but she saw my
design, and prevented it. 'Stay your rash hand, Cogollos,' said
she. ' Is it thus that you consult my reputation ? In dying thus,
and here, you will brand me with dishonor, and my husband with
the imputation of murder.'
" In the agony of my despair, far from yielding to these suggea-
496 • ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
tions, I only struggled against the preventive efforts of the two
women, and should have struggled too successfully, if Don Bias had
not appeared to second them. He had been apprised of our assig-
nation, and instead of going into the country, had concealed himself
behind the hangings, to overhear our conference. ' Don Gaston,*
cried he, as he arrested my uplifted arm, * recall your scattered
senses, and no longer indulge in these mad transports.'
" Here I could hold no longer. 'Is it for you,' said I, *to turn
me from my resolution ? You ought rather to plunge a dagger in
my bosom. My love, with all its train of miseries, is an insult to
you. Have you not surprised me in your wife's apartment at this
unseasonable hour? What greater provocation can you want for
your revenge? Stab me, and rid yourself of a man who can only
give up the adoration of Donna Helena with his life.' ' It is in
vain,' answered Don Bias, ' that you endeavor to interest my honor
in your destruction. You are suflSciently punished for your rash-
ness, and my wife's imprudence, in giving you this opportunity of
indulging it, is sanctified by the purity of her sentiments. Take my
advice, Cogollos : shrink not effeminately from your wayward des-
tiny, but bear up against it with the patient courage of a hero.'
"The prudent Galician, by such language, gradually composed
the ferment of my mind, and waked me once more to virtue. I
withdrew in the determination of removing far from the scene of
my folly, and left for Madrid two days afterwards. There, pursuing
the career of fortune and preferment, I appeared at court, and laid
myself out for connections. But it was my ill luck to attach myself
particularly to the Marquis of Villareal, a Portuguese grandee, who,
lying under a suspicion of intending to emancipate his country from
the Spanish yoke, is now in the castle of Alicant. As the Duke of
Lerma knew me to be closely connected with this nobleman, he gave
orders for my arrest and detention here. That minister thought me
capable of engaging in such a project — he could not have offered a
more outrageous affront to a man of noble birth and a Castilian."
Don Gaston thus ended his story. By way of consolation I said
to him, " Illustrious sir, your honor can receive no taint from this
temporary detainer, and your interest will probably be promoted
by it in the end. When the Duke of Lerma shall be convinced of
your innocence, he will not fail to give you a considerable post,
and thus retrieve the character of a gentleman unjustly accused of
treason."
S^#^l
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 4SfJ
CHAPTER VII.
SCIPIO FINDS GIL BLAS OUT IN THE TOWER OF SEGOVIA, AND BRINGS
HIM A BUDGET OF NEWS.
OUR conversation was interrupted by Tordesillas, who came
into the room, and addressed me thus : " Signor Gil Bias, I
have just been speaking with a young man at the prison gate. He
inquired if you were not here, and looked much mortified at my
refusal to satisfy his curiosity, ' Noble governor,' said he, with
tears in his eyes, 'do not reject my most humble petition. I am
Signor de Santillane's principal domestic, and you will do an act
of charity by allowing me to see him. You pass for a kind-hearted
gentleman in Segovia ; I hope you will not deny me the favor of
conversing for a few minutes with my dear master, who is unfortu-
nate rather than criminal.' In short," continued Don Andrew,
" the lad was so importunate that I promised to comply with his
wishes this evening."
I assured Tordesillas that he could not have pleased me better
than by bringing this young man to me, who could probably com-
municate tidings of the greatest importance. I waited with impa-
tience for the entrance of my faithful Scipio, since I could not doubt
him to be the man ; nor was I mistaken in my conjecture. He was
introduced at the time appointed, and his joy, which only mine
could equal, broke forth into the most whimsical demonstrations.
On my side, in the ecstasy of delight, I stretched out my arms to
him, and he rushed into them with no courtly, measured embrace.
All distinctions of master and dependent were levelled in the sym-
pathetic rapture of our meeting.
When our transports had subsided a little, I inquired into the
state of my household. " You have neither household nor house,"
answered he : " to spare you a long string of questions, I will sum
up your worldly concerns in two words. Your property has been
pillaged at both ends, both by the banditti of the law and by your
own retainers, who, regarding you as a ruined man, paid themselves
their own wages out of whatever they found was portable. Luckily
for you, I had the dexterity to save from their harpy clutches two
large bags of double pistoles. Salero, in whose custody I deposited
them, will make restitution on your release, which cannot be far
distant, as you were put upon his majesty's pension list of prisoners
without the Duke of Lerma's knowledge or consent."
I asked Scipio how he knew his excellency to have had no share
in my arrest. " You may depend on it," answered he, " my infor-
32
498 ADVENTURES OP OIL BLAS.
mation is undeniable. One of my friends in the Duke of Uzeda's
confidence acquainted me with all the circumstances of your im-
prisonment. Calderona, having discovered by a spy that Signora
Sirena, with the handle of an alias to her name, was receiving night
visits from the Prince of Spain, and that the Count de Lemos man-
aged that intrigue by the panderism of Signor de Santillane, deter-
mined to be revenged on the whole knot. To this end, he waited
on the Duke of Uzeda, and discovered the whole affair. The duke,
overjoyed at such a fine opportunity of ruining his enemy, did not
fail to bestir himself. He laid his information before the king, and
painted the prince's danger in the most lively colors. His majesty
was much angered, and showed that he was so by sending Sirena to
the nunnery provided for such frail sisters, banishing the Count de
Lemos, and condemning Gil Bias to perpetual imprisonment.
" This," pursued Scipio, " is whatmy friend told me. Hence you
gather your misfortune to be the Duke of Uzeda's handiwork, or
rather Calderona's."
Thus it seemed probable that my affairs might be reinstated in
time ; that the Duke of Lerma, chagrined at his nephew's banish-
ment, would move heaven and earth for that nobleman's recall;
and it might not be too much to expect that his excellency would
not forget me. What a delicate gypsy is Hope ! She wheedled me
out of all anxiety about my shattered fortunes, and made me as
light-hearted as if I had good reason to be so. My prison looked
not like the dungeon of perpetual misery, but like the vestibule to
a more distinguished station. For thus ran the train of my reason-
ing : Don Fernando Borgia, Father Jerome of Florence, and more
than all, Friar Louis of Aliaga, who may thank him for his place
about the king's person, are the prime minister's partisans. With
the aid of such powerful friends, his excellency will bear down all
opposition, even supposing no change to take place in the political
barometer. But his majesty's health is very precarious. The first
act of a new reign would be to recall the Count de Lemos ; he would
not feel himself at home in the young monarch's presence till he
had introduced me at court ; and the young monarch would not sit
easy on his throne till he had showered benefits on my head. Thus,
feasting by anticipation on the pleasures of futurity, I became cal-
lous to existing evils. The two bags, snug in the goldsmith's cus-
tody, were no bad doubles to the part which Hope acted in this
shifting pantomime.
It was impossible not to express my gratitude to Scipio for his
zeal and honesty. I offered him half the salvage ; but he rejected
it. "I expect," said he, "a very different acknowledgment."
Astonished as much at his mysterious claim as at his refusal, I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 499
asked what more I could do for him. " Let us never part," answered
he. "Allow me to link my fate with yours. I feel for you what I never
felt for any other master." "And on my part, my good fellow,"
said I, " you may rest assured that your attachment is not thrown
away. You caught my fancy at first sight. We must have been
born under Libra or Gemini, where friendship is lord of the ascend-
ant. I willingly accept your proffered partnership, and I will com-
mence business by prevailing with the warden to immure you along
with me in this tower." " That is the very thing," exclaimed he.
" You were beforehand with me, for I was just going to beg that
favor. Your company is dearer to me than liberty itself. I shall
only just go to Madrid now and then, to snuff the gale of the min-
isterial atmosphere, and try whether any scent lies which may be
favorable for your pursuit. Thus will you combine in me a bosom
friend, a trusty messenger, and an unsuspected spy."
These advantages were too important for me to forego them. I
therefore kept so useful a person about me, with leave of the oblig-
ing warden, who would not stand in the way of so soothing a relief
to the weariness of solitude.
CHAPTER VIII.
SCIPIO'S FIRST JOUENEY TO MADRID : ITS OBJECT AND SUCCESS. GIL
BLAS FALLS SICK. THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS ILLNESS.
IF it is a common proverb that our direst enemies are those of
our own household, the converse ought equally to be admitted
among the saws of a more candid experience. After such in-
contestable proof of Scipio's zeal, he became to me like another
self. All distinction of place was confounded between Gil Bias
and his secretary ; all insolence was dropped on the one hand, all
cringing on the other. Their lodging, bed, and board, were in
common.
Scipio's conversation was of a very lively turn ; he might have
been dubbed the Spanish Momus, without any derogation to the
Punch of the Pantheon. But he had a long head, as well as a fan-
ciful brain, combining the characters of counsellor and jester.
" My friend," said I, one day, " what do you think of writing to the
DukeofLerma? It could, methinks, do no harm." "Why, as to
that," answered he, " the great are such chameleons, that there is
600 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
no knowing where to have them. At all events, you may risk it ;
though I would not lay the postage of your letter on its success.
The minister loves you, it is true ; but then political love lacks
memory as much as personal love lacks visual discrimination.
Out of sight, out of mind I is at once the motto and the stigma of
these gentry."
" True as this may be in the general," replied I, " my patron is a
glorious exception. His kindness lives in my recollection. I am
persuaded that he suffers for my sufferings, and that they are inces-
santly preying on his spirits. We must give him credit for only
waiting till the king's anger shall pass away." " Be it so," resumed
he ; "I wish you may not reckon without your host. Assail his
excellency, then, with an epistle to stir the waters. I will engage
to deliver it into his own hands." Pen, ink, and paper being
brought, I composed a specimen of eloquence which Scipio declared
to be a paragon of pathos, and Tordesillas preferred, for the cant of
sermonizing prolixity, to the old archbishop's homilies.
I flattered myself that there would be tears in the Duke of Lerma's
eyes, and distraction in his aspect, at the detail of miseries which
existed only on paper. In that assurance, I despatched my messen-
ger, who no sooner got to Madrid, than he went to the minister's.
Meeting with an old domestic of my acquaintance, he had no difli-
culty in gaining access to the duke. " My lord," said Scipio to his
excellency, as he delivered the packet, " one of your most devoted
servants, lying at his length on straw, in a damp and dreary dun-
geon at Segovia, most humbly supplicates for the perusal of this
letter, which a tender-hearted turnkey has furnished him with the
means of writing." The minister opened the letter, and glanced
over the contents. But though he found there a motive and a cue
for passion enough to amaze all his faculties at once, far from drown-
ing the floor with briny secretions, he cleaved the ear of his house-
hold and smote the heart of my courier with horrid speech :
" Friend, tell Santillane that he has a great deal of impudence to
address me, after so rank an offence, worthily confronted by the
severe sentence of the king. Under that sentence let the wretch
drag out his days, nor look to my mediation for a respite."
Scipio, though neither dull nor muddy-mettled, began to be un-
pregnant of this defeated cause. Yet he was not so pigeon-livered
as to retire without an effort in my favor. " My lord," replied he,
" this poor prisoner will give up the ghost with grief at the recital
of your excellency's displeasure." The duke answered like a prime
minister, with a supercilious corrugation of features, and a decisive
revolution of his front to some more prosperous suitor. This he
did to cover his own share in the shame of pimping; and such
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 601
treatment must all those hireling scavengers expect who rake in
the filth and ordure of rotten statesmen, courtiers, and politicians.
My secretary came back to Segovia, and delivered the result of
ills mission. And now behold me, sunk deeper than on the first
day of my imprisonment in the gulf of affliction and despair! The
Duke of Lerma's turning king's evidence gave a hanging posture to
my affairs. My courage was run out; and though they did all they
could to keep up my spirits, the agitation and distress of my mind
threw me into a fever.
The warden, who took a lively interest in my recovery, fancying
in his unmedical head that physicians cured fevers, brought me a
double dose of death in two of that doleful deity's most practiced
executioners. "Signor Gil Bias," said he, as he ushered in their
grisly forms, " here are two godsons of Hippocrates, who are come
to feel your pulse, and to augment the number of their trophies in
your person." I was so prejudiced against the whole faculty, that I
should certainly have given them a very discouraging reception, had
life retained its usual charms in my estimation ; but being bent on
my departure from this vale of tears, I felt obliged to Tordesillas
for hastening my journey by a safer conveyance than the crime of
suicide.
" My good sir," said one of the pair, " your recovery will, under
Providence, depend on your entire confidence in our skill." " Im-
plicit confidence I" answered I : " with your assistance, I am fully
persuaded that a few days will place me beyond the reach of fever,
and all the shocks that flesh is heir to." " Yes ! with the blessing
of Heaven," rejoined he, " it is a consummation devoutly to be
wished, and easily to be effected. At all events, our best endeavors
shall not be wanting." And indeed it was no joke ; for they got me
into such fine training for the other world, that few of my material
particles were left in this. Already had Don Andrew, observing me
fumble with the sheets, and smile upon my fingers' ends, and think-
ing there was but one way, sent for a Franciscan to show it me :
already had the good father, having mumbled over the salvation of
my soul, retired to the refection of his own body : and my own opinion
leaned to the immediate necessity of making a good end. I beckoned
Scipio to my bedside. " My dear friend," said I, in the faint accents
of a tortured and evacuated patient, " I give and bequeath to you
one of the bags in Gabriel's possession ; the other you must carry to
my father and mother in the Asturias, who, if still living, must be
in narrow circumstances. But, alas ! I fear they have not been able
to bear up against my ingratitude. Muscada's report of my un-
natural behavior must have brought their gray hairs with sorrow to
the grave. Should Heaven have fortified their tender hearts against
602 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
my indifference, you will give them the bag of doubloons, with as-
surances of ray dying remorse ; and if they are no more, I charge
you to lay out the money in masses for the repose of their souls and
of mine." Then did I stretch out my hand, which he bathed in
silent tears. It is not always true that the mourning of an heir is
mirth in masquerade.
For some hours I fancied myself outward-bound, and on the point
of sailing; but the wind changed. My pilots having quitted the
helm, and left the vessel to the steerage of nature, the danger of
shipwreck disappeared- The fever mutinying against its command-
ing officers, gave all their prognostics the lie, and acted contrary to
general orders. I got better by degrees, in mind as well as in body.
My consolation was all derived from within. I looked at wealth
and honors with the eye of a dying anchoret, and blessed the malady
which restored my soul. I abjured courts, politics, and the Duke of
Lerma. If ever my prison doors were opened, it was my fixed
resolve to buy a cottage, and live like a philosopher.
My bosom friend applauded my design, and to further its execu-
tion, undertook a second journey to solicit my release, by the inter-
vention of a clever girl about the person of the prince's nurse. He
contended that a prison was a prison still, in spite of kind indul-
gence and good cheer. In this I agreed, and gave him leave .to
depart, with a fervent prayer to Heaven that we might soon take
possession of our hermitage.
CHAPTEK IX.
BCIPIO'S SECOND JOURNEY TO MADKID. GIL BLAS IS SET AT LIBERTY
ON CERTAIN CONDITIONS.
WHILE waiting for Scipio's return from Madrid, I began a
course of study. Tordesillas furnished me with more books
than I wanted. He borrowed them from an old officer who could
not read, but had fitted up a magnificent library, that he might pass
for a man of learning. Above all, I delighted in moral essays and
treatises, because they abounded in commonplaces, according with
my antipathy to courts and philosophic relish of solitude.
Three weeks elapsed before I heard a syllable from my negotiator,
who returned at length with a cheerful countenance, and news to
the following effect : " By the intercession of a hundred pistoles with
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 503
the chambermaid, and her intercession with her mistress, the Prince
of Spain has been prevailed with to plead for your enlargement with
his royal father. I hastened hither to announce these happy tidings,
and must return immediately to put the last hand to my work."
With these words he left me, and went back to court.
At the week's end my expeditious agent returned, with the intel-
ligence that the prince had procured my liberty, not without some
difficulty. On the same day my generous keeper confirmed the
assurance in person, with the kindest congratulations and the fol-
lowing notice : "Your prison doors are open, but on two conditions,
which I am sorry that my duty obliges me to announce, because
they will probably be disagreeable to you. His majesty expressly
forbids you to show your face at court, or to be found within the
limits of the two Castilles on this day month. I am extremely sorry
that you are interdicted from court." " And I am delighted at it,"
answered I. " Witness all the powers above ! I asked the king for
only only one favor ; he has granted me two."
With my liberty thus confirmed, I hired a couple of mules, on
which we mounted the next day, after taking leave of Cogollos, and
thanking Tordesillas a thousand times for all his instances of
friendship. We set forward cheerfully on the road to Madrid, to
draw our deposit out of Signor Gabriel's hands, amounting to a
thousand doubloons. On the road my fellow-traveller observed,
" If we are not rich enough to purchase a splendid property, we can
at least secure ease and competency to • ourselves." " A cabin,"
answered I, "would be large enough for my most ambitious
thoughts. Though scarcely at the middle period of life, the world
has lost its charms for me ; its hopes, its fears, its cares, its duties,
are all absorbed in the selfishness of philosophical retirement.
Independently of these principles, I can assure you I have painted
for myself a rural landscape, with a foreground of innocent pleas-
ures, and pastoral simplicity in the perspective. Already does the
enamel of the meadows glitter under my eyes; already does the
river's murmur accord with the winged chorus of the grove ; hunt-
ing exasperates the manly virtues, and fishing preaches patience.
Only figure to yourself, my friend, what a continual round of
amusement solitude may furnish, and you will pant to be admitted
of her crew. Then, for the economy of our table, the simplest will
be the cheapest, and of course the best. Unadulterated Ceres shall
be our official caterer ; when hunger shall have tamed our fastidious
appetites into sobriety, a mumbled crust will relish like an ortolan.
The supreme delight of eating is not in the thing eaten, but in the
palate of him who eats — a proposition in culinary philosophy
proved by the frequent loathing of my own stomach, through a long
504 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
series of ministerial dinners. Abstemiousness is a luxury of the
most exquisite refinement, and the best recipe in the materia
medica."
" With your good leave, Signor Gil Bias," interrupted my secre-
tary, " I am not altogether of your mind respecting the luscious
treat of abstemiousness. Why should we mess like the bankrupt
sages of antiquity? Surely we may indulge the carnal man a little,
without any reasonable offence to the spiritual. Since we have, by
the blessing of Providence and my forecast, wherewithal to keep the
spit and the spigot in exercise, do not let us take up our abode with
famine and wretchedness. As soon as we get settled, we must stock
our cellar, and establish a respectable larder, like people who know
what is what, and do not separate themselves from the vulgar
crowd to renounce the good things of this life, but to taste them
with a more exquisite relish. As Hesiod says, —
And again, —
' Enjoy thy riches with a liberal soul ;
Plenteous the feast, and smiling be the bowl.'
' To stint the wine a frugal husband shows.
When from the middle of the cask it flows.' "
" What the devil. Master Scipio," interrupted I in my turn, "you
can cap verses out of the Greek poets I And pray where did you
get acquainted with Hesiod ?" " In very learned company," he
answered. " I lived some time with a walking dictionary at Sala-
manca, a fellow up to the elbows in quotation and commentary. He
could put a large volume together like a house of cards. His
library furnished him with a hodge-podge of Hebrew, Greek, and
Latin commonplaces, which he translated into buckram Castilian.
As I was his transcriber, some tags of verses, stings of epigrams, and
sage truisms, stuck by the way." " With such an apparatus," re-
plied I, " your memory must be philosophically stocked. But, not
to lose sight of our future prospects, whereabouts in Spain had we
best fix our Socratic abode?" " My voice is for Arragon," resumed
my counsellor. " We shall there enjoy all the beauties of nature,
and lead the life of Paradise." "Well, then, for Arragon," said
I. " May it teem with all the dear delights that youthful poets
fancy when they dream 1"
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLA8. 506
CHAPTER X.
THBIB DOINGS AT MADRID. THE EENCOUNTER OF GIL BLAS IN THE
STREET, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
ON our arrival in Madrid, we alighted at a little public-house
where Scipio had been accustomed to put up, whence our first
visit was to my banker, Salero. He received us very cordially, and
expressed the highest satisfaction at my release. " Indeed," added
he, "your untoward fate touched me so nearly as to change my
views of a political alliance. The fortunes of courtiers are like
castles in the air, so I have married my daughter Gabriela to a
wealthy trader." " You have acted very wisely," answered I, " for
besides that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, when a
plodding citizen aspires to the honor of bringing a man of fashion
into his family, he very often has an impertinent puppy for his
son-in-law."
Then changing the topic, and coming to the point, I said, "Signor
Gabriel, we came to talk a little about the two thousand pistoles
which" ..." Your money is all ready," said the goldsmith, inter-
rupting me. He then took us into his closet, and delivered the two
bags, carefijlly labelled with my name on them.
I thanked Salero for his exactness, and Heaven in my sleeve for
my escape from his daughter. At our inn we counted over the
money, and found it right, deducting fifty doubloons for the ex-
penses of my enlargement. Our thoughts were now wholly bent
upon Arragon. My secretary undertook to buy a carriage and two
mules. It was my office to provide household and body linen.
During my peregrinations for that purppse, I met Baron Steinbach,
the officer in the German Guards with whom Don Alphonso had
been brought up.
I touched my hat to him '. he knew me again, and returned my
greeting warmly. " My joy is extreme,'' said I, " at seeing your
lordship in such fine health, to say nothing of my wish to inquire
after Don Caesar and Don Alphonso de Ley va." " They are both
in Madrid," answered he, " and staying at my house. They came
to town about three months ago, to be presented on occasion of Don
Alphonso's promotion. He has been appointed Governor of Va-
lencia, on the score of old family claims, without having in any
shape pushed his interest at court. Nothing could be more grateful
to his feelings, or prove more strongly our royal master's goodness,
who delights to recognize the merits of ancestry in the persons of
their descendants."
506 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
Though I knew more of this matter than Steinbach, I kept my
knowledge in the background. Yet so lively was my impatience to
hail my old masters, that he would not damp my ardor by delay.
I had a mind to try Don Alphonso, whether he still retained his
regard for me. He was playing at chess with Baroness Steinbach.
On my entrance, he started up from his game, ran towards me, and
squeezing me tight in his embrace, " Santillane," said he, with de-
monstrations of the sincerest joy, "at length, then, you are restored
to my heart. I am delighted at it ! It was not my fault that we
ever parted. You may remember how strongly I urged you not to
withdraw from the Castle of Ley va. You were deaf to my entreaties.
But I must not chide your obstinacy, because its motive was the
peace of the family. Yet you ought to have let me hear from you,
and to have spared my fruitless inquiries at Granada, where my
brother-in-law, Don Ferdinand, sent me word that you were.
" And now tell me what you are doing at Madrid. Of course you
have some situation here. Be assured that I shall always take a
lively interest in your concerns." "Sir," answered I, " it is but four
months since I occupied a considerable post at court. I had the
honor of being the Duke of Lerma's confidential secretary." " Can
it be possible?" exclaimed Don Alphonso, as if he could scarcely
believe his ears. " What, were you so near the person of the prime
minister?" I then related how I had gained and lost his favor, and
ended with avowing my determination to buy a cottage and garden
with the wreck of my shattered fortunes.
The son of Don Caesar heard me attentively, and made this answer:
"My dear Gil Bias, you know how I have always loved you ; nor shall
you longer be Fortune's puppet. I will set you above her vagaries,
by securing you an independence. Since you declare for a country
life, a little estate of ours near Lirias, about four leagues from Va-
lencia, shall be settled on you. You are acquainted with the spot.
Such a present we can make without putting ourselves to the least
inconvenience. I can answer for my father's joining in the act, and
for Seraphina's entire approbation."
I threw myself at Don Alphonso's feet, who raised me immedi-
ately. More penetrated by his affection than by his bounty, I pressed
his hand and said, " Sir, your conduct charms me. Your noble gift
is the more welcome as it precedes the knowledge of a service it has
been in my power to render you ; and T had rather owe it to your
generosity than to your gratitude." This governor of my making
did not know what to understand by the hint, and pressed for an
explanation. I gave it in full, to his utter astonishment. Neither
he nor Baron Steinbach could ever have the slightest suspicion that
the government of Valencia was owing to my interest at court. Yet,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 607
having no reason to doubt the fact, my friend proposed to grant me
an annuity of two thousand ducats, in addition to the little farm at
Lirias.
" Hold your hand, Signor Don Alphonso," exclaimed I, at this
offer. " You must not set my. avarice afloat again. I am myself a
living witness that Fortune may give superfluities to her favorites,
but has no competence to bestow. With pleasure will I accept of
the estate at Lirias, where my present property will be sufficient for
all my wants. Eather than increase my cares with my possessions,
I would build a hospital out of my existing funds. Kiches are a
burden ; and it must be a foolish animal that would bear fardels in
the manger or the field."
While we were talking after this fashion, Don Caesar came in.
His joy was not less than his son's at the sight of me; and being in-
formed of the family obligations, he again pressed me to accept of
the annuity, which I again refused. When the writings were drawn
the father and son made the assignment their joint act and deed,
transferring to me the fee simple, and putting me in immediate pos-
session. My secretary half stared the eyes out of his head when I
told him we had a landed estate of our own, and how we came by
it. "What is the value of this*little freehold?" says he. "Five
hundred ducats per annum," answered I ; " and the farm in high
cultivation, within a ring fence. I have often been there during my
stewardship. There is a small house on the banks of the Guadala-
viar, in a little hamlet surrounded by a charming country."
"What pleases me better than all," cried Scipio, "is that we shall
have plenty of sporting, rare living, and excellent wine. Come,
master, let us leave this crowded city, and hasten to our hermitage."
"I long to be there as much as you can do," answered I ; "but I
must first go to the Asturias. My father and mother are not in
comfortable circumstances. They shall therefore end their days
with me at Lirias. Heaven, perhaps, has thrown this windfall in
my way to try my filial duty, and would punish me for the neglect
of it." Scipio approved my purpose, and urged its speedy execu-
tion. " Yes, my friend," said I, " we will set out as soon as possible.
I shall consider it as my dear delight to share the gifts of fortune
with the authors of my existence. We shall soon be settled in our
country retreat ; and then will I write these two Latin verses over
the door of my farm-house, in letters of gold, for the pious edifica*
tion of my rustic neighbors : —
' Inveni portum. Spes et fortuna, valete.
Sat me lusistis ; ludite nunc alios.' "
608 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
BOOK X.
CHAPTER I.
GIL "BTuAS SETS OUT FOE THE ASTTIKIAS, AND PASSES THROUGH VALLA*
DOLID. HE GOES TO SEE DOCTOR SANGRADO.
JUST as I was arranging matters to tate my departure from
Madrid, and go with Scipio to the Asturias, Paul V. gave the
Duke of Lerma a cardinal's hat. This pope, wishing to establish
the Inquisition in the kingdom of Naples, invested the minister
with the purple, and by that means hoped to bring King Philip
over to so pious and praiseworthy a design. Those who were best
acquainted with this new member of the sacred college thought,
much like myself, that the church was in a fair way for apostolical
purity, after so ghostly an acquisition.
Scipio, who would have liked better to see me once more blazing
at court, than either cloistered or rusticated, advised me to show
my face at the cardinal's audience. " Perhaps," said he, " his
eminence, finding you at large by the king's order, may think it
unnecessary to affect any further displeasure against you, and may
even reinstate you in his service." " My good friend Scipio," an-
swered I, " you seem to forget that my liberty was granted only on
condition of making myself scarce in the two Castilles. Besides,
can you suppose me so soon inclined to become an absentee from
my domain of Lirias ? I have told you before, and I tell it you
once again, though the Duke of Lerma should restore me to his
good graces, though he should even offer me Don Rodrigo de Cal-
derona's place, I would refuse it. My resolution is taken : I mean
to go and find out my parents at Oviedo, and carry them with me to
Valencia. As for you, my good fellow, if you repent of having
linked your fate with mine, you have only to say so ; I am ready
to give you half of my ready money, and you may stay at Madrid,
where Fortune puts on her kindest smiles to those who woo her
lustily."
"What, then," replied my secretary, a little affected by these
words, " can you suspect me of any unwillingness to follow you into
your retreat? The very idea is an injury to my zeal and ray attach-
ment. What, Scipio ! that faithful appendage, who would willingly
have passed the remnant of his days with you in the tower of Se-
govia rather than abandon you to your wretched fate, can he feel
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 509
sorrowful at the prospect of an abode where a thousand rural delights
are waiting to smile on his arrival ? No, no, I have not a wish to
turn you aside from your resolution. Nor can I refrain from own-
ing my malicious drift ; when I advised you to show your face at
the Duke of Lerma's audience, it was for the purpose of ascertain-
ing whether any seedlings of ambition were scattered among the
fallows of your philosophy. Since that point is settled, and you
are mortified to all the pomps and vanities of the world, let us
make the best of our way from court, to go and suck in with
Zephyrus and Flora the innocent, delicious pleasures so luxuriant
in the nursery of our imaginations."
In fact, we soon afterwards took our departure together, in a
chaise drawn by two good mules, driven by a postilion whom I had
added to my establishment. We stopped the first day at Aicala de
Henarfes, and the second at Segovia, whence, without stopping to
see our generous warden, Tordesillas, we went forward to Penafiel
on the Duero, and the next day to Valladolid. At sight of this
large town, I could not help fetching a deep sigh. My companion,
surprised at that conscientious ventilation, inquired the reason of
it. " My good fellow," said I,^ " it is because I practiced medicine
here for a long time. It gives me the horrors, even now, to think
of my unexpiated murders. The whole list of killed and wounded
are mustered in battle array yonder : the tomb and the hospital
yawn with their disgorged inhabitants, who are rushing on to tear
me piecemeal, and exact the vengeance due to the drenched crew."
" What a dreadful fancy !" said my secretary. " In truth, Signor de
Santillane, your nature is too tender. Why should you be shocked
at the common course of exchange in your branch of trade? Look
at all the oldest physicians : their withers are unwrung. What can
exceed the self-complacency with which they view the exits of pa-
tients and the entrances of diseases ? Natural constitution bears
the brunt of all their failures, and medical infallibility takes the
credit of lucky accidents."
" It is very true," replied I, " that Doctor Sangrado, on whose
practice I formed myself, was like the rest of old physicians in point
of self-complacency. It was to little purpose that twenty people in
a day yielded to his prowess ; he was so persuaded that bleeding in
the arm and copious libations of warm water were specifics for every
case, that instead of doubting whether the death of his patient might
not possibly invalidate the efficacy of his prescriptions, he ascribed
the result to a vacillating compliance with his system." " By all
the powers I" cried Scipio with a burst of laughter, " you open to me
an incomparable character." "If you have any curiosity to be
better acquainted with him," said I, " it may be gratified to-morrow.
510 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
should Sangrado be still living, and resident at Valladolid : but it is
highly improbable ; for he had one foot in the grave when I left him
several years ago." Our first care, on putting up at the inn, was to
inquire after this doctor. We were told that he was not dead ; but,
being incapacitated by age from paying visits or any other vigorous
exertions, he had been superseded by three or four other doctors
who had risen into repute by a new practice, accomplishing the same
end by different means. We determined on lying by for a day at
Valladolid, as well to rest our mules as to call on Signor Sangrado.
About ten o'clock next morning we knocked at his door, and found
him sitting in his elbow-chair, with a book in his hand. He rose
on our entrance, advanced to meet us with a firm step for a man of
seventy, and begged to know our business. " My worthy and ap-
proved good master," said I, " have you lost all recollection of an
old pupil ? There was formerly one Gil Bias, as you may remem-
ber, a boarder in your house, and for some time your deputy."
" What I is it you, Santillane ?" answered he, with a cordial embrace.
" I should not have known you again. It, however, gives me great
pleasure to see you once more. What have you been doing since we
parted ? Doubtless you have made medicine your profession." " It
was very strongly my inclination so to do," replied I ; " but im-
perious circumstances made me reluctantly abandon so illustrious a
calling."
" So much the worse," rejoined Sangrado : " with the principles
you sucked in under my tuition, you would have become a physician
of the first skill and eminence, with the guiding influence of Heaven
to defend you from the dangerous allurements of chemistry. Ah,
my son !" pursued he with a mournful air, " what a change in prac-
tice within these few years 1 The whole honor and dignity of the art is
compromised. That mystery by whose inscrutable decrees the lives
of men have in all ages been determined, is now laid open to the
rude, untutored gaze of blockheads, novices, and mountebanks.
Facts are stubborn things ; and ere long the very stones will cry
aloud against the rascality of these new practitioners : lapides clama-
burUl Why, sir, there are fellows in this town, calling themselves
physicians, who drag their degraded persons at the cun-us triumphalis
antimonii, or, as it should properly be translated, the cart's tail of an-
timony. Apostates from the faith of Paracelsus, idolaters of filthy
kermes, healers at haphazard, who make all the science of medicine
to consist in the preparation and prescription of drugs ! What a
change have I to announce to you I There is not one stone left upon
another in the whole structure which our great predecessors had
raised. Bleeding in the feet, for example, so rarely practiced in
better times, is- now among the fashionable follies of the day. That
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 611
gentle, civilized system of evacuation, which prevailed under my
auspices, is subverted by the reign of anarchy and emetics, of quack-
ery and poison. In short, chaos has come again ! Every one orders
what seems good in his own eyes; there is no deference to the
authority of ancient wisdom ; our masters are laid upon the shelf,
and their axioms not one tittle the more regarded for being deliv-
ered in languages as defunct as the subjects of their application,"
However desirable it might seem to laugh at so whimsical a de-
clamation, I had the good manners to resist the impulse ; and not
only that, but to inveigh bitterly against kermes, without knowing
whether it was a vegetable or an animal, and to pour forth a com-
mination of curses against the authors and inventors of so diabolical
an engine. Scipio, observing my by-play in this scene, had a mind
to come in for his share in the banter. " Most venerable prop of the
true practice," said he toSangrado, " as I am descended in the third
generation from a physician of the old school, give me leave to join
you in your philippic against chemical conspiracies. My late illus-
trious progenitor — Heaven forgive him all his sins ! — was so warm a
partisan of Hippocrates, that he often came to blows with ignorant
pretenders, who vomited forth blasphemies against that high priest
of the faculty. What is bred in the bone will not come out of the
flesh : I could willingly inflict tortures and death with my own hands
on those rash innovators whose daring enormities you have charac-
terized with such accuracy of discrimination and such force of lan-
guage. When wretches like these gain an ascendency in civilized
society, can we wonder at the disjointed condition of the world ?"
" The times are even more out of joint than you are aware of,"
said the doctor. " My book against the vanities and delusions of the
new practice might as well have fkllen still-born from the press ; it
seems, if anything, to have acted by contraries, and to have exaspe-
rated heresy. The apothecaries, like the Titans of old, heaping
potion upon pill, and invading the Olympus of medicine, think
themselves fully qualified to usurp and maintain the throne, now
that it is only thought necessary to set open the doors, and to drive
the enemy out at the portal or the postern by main force. They go
to the length of infusing their deadly drugs into apozems and cor-
dials, and then set themselves up against the most eminent of the
fraternity. This contagion has spread its influence even among the
cloisters. There are monks in our convents who unite surgery and
pharmacy to the labors of the confessional. These medical baboons
are always dipping their paws into chemistry, and inventing compo-
sitions strong enough to lay a scene of ecclesiastical mortality in the
temperate abodes of peace and religion. Now, there are in Valla-
dolid above sixty religious houses for both sexes : judge what ravage
512 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
must have been made there by unmerciful pumping and the lancet
misapplied." " Signer Saugrado," said I, " you are perfectly in flie
right to give these poisoners no quarter. I utter groan for groan
with you, and heave the philanthropic sigh over the invaded lives
of our fellow-creatures, sinking under the fell attack of so heterodox
a practice. It fills me with horror to think what a dead weight
chemistry may one day be to medicine, just as adulterated coin
operates on national credit. Far be that evil day from this gene-
ration 1"
Just at this climax of our discourse, in came an old female ser-
vant, with a salver for the doctor, on which were a little light roll
and a glass with two decanters, the one filled with water and the
other with wine. After he had eaten a slice, he washed it down
with a diluted beverage, two parts water to one of wine; but this
temperate use of the good creature did- not at all save him from the
acrimony of my ridicule. "So so, good master doctor," said I,
"you are fairly caught in the fact. You a wine-bibber? you, who
have entered the lists like a knight-errant against that unauthenti-
cated fermentation? you, who reached your grand climacteric on
the strength of the pure element? How long have you been so at
odds with yourself? Your time of life can be no excuse for the
alteration : since, in one passage of your writings, you define old
age to be a natural consumption, which withers and attenuates the
system ; and as an inference from that position, you reprobate the
ignorance of those writers who dignify wine with the appellation
of old men's milk. What can you say, therefore, in your own de-
fence?"
" You belabor me most unjustly," answered the old physician.
" If I drank neat wine, you would have a right to treat me as a
deserter from my own standard ; but your eyes may convince you
that my wine is well mixed." "Another heresy, my dear apostle
of the wells and fountains!" replied I. "Recollect how you rated
the canon Sedillo for drinking wine, though plentifully dashed with
the salubrious fluid. Own modestly and candidly that your theory
was unfounded and fanciful, and that wine is not a poisonous
liquor, as you have so falsely and scandalously libelled it in your
works, any further than, like any other of nature's bounties, it may
be abused to excess."
This lecture sat rather uneasily on our doctor's feelings as a can-
didate for consistency. He could not deny his inveteracy against
the use of wine in all his publications ; but pride and vanity not
allowing him to acknowledge the justice of my attack on his apos-
tasy, he was left without a word to say for himself. Not wishing to
push my sarcasm beyond the bounds of good humor, I changed the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 513
subject; and after a few minutes' longer stay, took my leave, gravely
exltorting him to maintain his ground against the new practitioners.
" Courage, Signor Sangrado !" said I , " never be weary of setting
your wits against kermes ; and deafen the health-dispensing tribe
with your thunders against the use of bleeding in the feet. If, spite
of all your zeal and affection for medical orthodoxy, this empiric
generation should succeed in supplanting true and legitimate prac-
tice, it would be at least your consolation to have exhausted your
best endeavors in the support of truth and reason "
As my secretary and myself were walking to the inn, making our
observations in high glee on the doctor's entertaining and original
character, a man from fifty-five to sixty years of age happened to
pass near us in the street, walking with his eyes fixed on the ground,
and a large rosary in his hand. I conned over the distinctive cut
of his appearance most cunningly, and was rewarded in the recog-
nition of Signor Manuel Ordonnez, that faithful trustee for the
afiairs of the hospital, of whom so honorable mention is made in
the first volume of these true -and instructive memoirs. Accosting
him- with the most profound and unquestionable tokens of respect,
I paid my compliments in due form and order to the venerable and
trustworthy Signor Manuel Ordonnez, " the man of all the world
in whose hands the interests of the poor and needy are most safely
and beneficially placed." At those words he looked me steadfastly
in the face, and answered that my features were not altogether
strange to him, but that he could not recollect where he had seen
me. "I used to go backwards and forwards to your house," replied
I, " when one of my friends, by name Fabricio Nunez, was in your
service." " Ah ! I recollect the circumstance at once," rejoined the
worthy director, with a cunning leer, " and have good reason to do
so ; for you were a brace of pleasant lads, and were by no means
backward in the little scapegrace tricks of youth and inexperience.
Well ! and what is become of poor Fabricio? Whenever he comes
across my thoughts, I cannot help feeling a little uneasy about his
temporal and eternal welfare."
" It was to relieve your mind upon that subject," said I to Signor
Manuel, "that I have taken the liberty of stopping you in the
street. Fabricio is settled at Madrid, where he employs himself
in publishing miscellanies and collections." " What do you mean
by miscellanies and collections?" replied he. "I mean," resumed
I, "that he writes in verse and prose, from epic poems and the
highest branches of philosophy, down to plays, novels, epigrams,
and riddles. In short, he is a lad of universal genius, and most
exemplary benevolence; sometimes modestly taking to himself the
credit of his own compositions, and sometimes lending out his
33
614 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS,
talents to the literary ambition of those noblemen who write for
their own amusement, but wish their names to be concealed, except
from a chosen circle. By traffic like this, he sits at the very first
tables." "But how does he sit at his own?" said the director;
"upon what terms does he live with his baker?" "Not quite so
confidentially as with people of fashion," answered I ; " for, between
ourselves, I take him to be quite as much out at elbows as ever Job
was." " More bonds and judgments against him than ever Job had,
take my word for it !" replied Ordonnez. " Let him lick the spittle
of his titled friends and patrons, till his stomach heaves at the
nauseating saliva; his printed dedications and his oral flattery, in
spite of all the cringing and all the toad-eating which constitute
the stock in trade of his profession, with all the profits of his works,
whether by subscription or ordinary publication, will not bring grist
enough to his mill to keep hunger from the door Mind if what
I say does not turn out to be true ! He will come to the dogs at
last."
" Nothing more likely," replied I, " for he cohabits with the
muses already, and many a plain man has found to his cost that
there is no keeping company with the sisters without being worried
by their bullying brethren. My friend Fabricio would have done
much better by remaining quietly with your lordship ; he would
now have been lying on a bed of roses, and everything he had
touched would have turned to gold." " He would at least have
been in a very snug berth," said Manuel, " He was a great favorite
of mine, and I meant, by a regular gradation from subaltern to
principal situations, to have established him in ease and affluence
on the basis of public charity ; but the foolish fellow took it into
his head to set up for a wit. He wrote a play, and brought it out
at the theatre in this town. The piece went off tolerably well, and
nothing thenceforth would serve his turn but commencing author
by profession, Lope de Vega, in his estimation, was but a type of
him ; preferring, therefore, the intoxicating vapor of public ap-
plause to the plain roast and boiled of this substantial ordinary, he
came to me for his discharge. It was to no purpose for me to argue
the point, or to prove to him what a silly cur he was to drop
the bone and run after the shadow ; the mad blockhead was so
suffocated by the smother of authorship, that the instinctive dread
of fire could not rouse his alacrity to escape burning. In short, he
was miserably unconscious of his own interest, as his successor can
testify, for he, possessing practical good sense, though without hall
Fabricio's quickness and versatility, makes it his whole study and
delight to go through his business in a workmanlike manner, and to
fsiU ip with all ffly littlP ways, in return for such good conduct, I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ' 515
pushed him forward in a manner corresponding with bis deserts ;
and he unites in his own person, even at this time of day, two
offices in the hospital, the least lucrative of which would be more
than sufficient to place any honest man at his ease, though encum-
bered with a yearly teeming wife."
CHAPTER II.
GIL BLAS CONTINUES HIS JOURNEY, AND ARRIVES AT OVIEDO. THE
CONDITION OP HIS FAMILY. HIS FATHER'S DEATH.
FROM Valladolid we got to Oviedo in four days, without any
untoward accident on the road, in spite of the proverb which
says that robbers lay their ears to the ground when pilgrims are
going with rich offerings and traders are riding with fat purses. It
would have been a feasible as well as a tempting speculation. Two
tenants of a subterranean abode might have presented an aspect to
have frightened our doubloons into a surrender, for courage was not
one of the qualities I had imbibed at court, and Bertrand, my mule-
driver, seemed not to be of a temper to get his brains blown out in
defending a purse into which he had no free ingress. Scipio was the
only one of the party who was anything of a bully.
It was night when we came into town. Our lodgings were at an
inn near my uncle, Gil Perez, the canon. I was very desirous of
ascertaining the circumstances of ray parents before my first inter-
view with them, and in order to gain that information, it was im-
possible to make my inquiries in a better channel than through my
landlord and landlady, into the lines of whose faces you could not
look without being satisfied that they knew every tittle of their
neighbors' concerns. As it turned out, the landlord recognized me,
after a diligent perusal of my features, and cried out, " By Saint
Antony of Padua, this is the son of the honest usher Bias of Santil-
lane !" " Ay, indeed !" said the hostess, " and so it is, without a
single muscle altered, just for all the world that same little strip-
ling Gil Bias, of whom we used to say that he was as saucy as he
was high. It brings old times to my memory, when he used to
come hither with his bottle under his arm, to* fetch wine for his
uncle's supper."
"Madam," said I, "you have a most inveterate memory ; but for
goodness' sake change the subject, and tell me the modern news of
51<i ADYENTUREIS OF GIL BLAH.
my family. My father and mother are doubtless in no very envi-
able situation." " In good truth, you may say that," answered the
lady ; " you may rack your brains as long as you like, but you will
never think of anything half so miserable as what they are suffering
at this present moment. Gil Perez, good soul ! is defunct all down
one side by a stroke of the palsy, and the other half of him is little
better than a corpse; we cannot expect him to last long. Then
your father, who went to live with his reverence a little while ago,
is troubled with an inflammation of the lungs, and is standing, as a
body may say, quavery-mavery between life and death, while your
mother, who is not over and above hale and hearty herself, is
obliged to nurse them both."
On this intelligence, which made me feel some compunctious
yearnings of nature, I left Bertrand with my stud and baggage at
the inn ; theil, with my secretary at my heels, who would not desert
me in my time of need, I repaired to my uncle's house. The mo-
ment I came within my mother's reach, a natural emotion of
maternal instinct unfolded to her who I was, before her eyes could
possibly have run over the traces of my countenance. " Son," said
she, with a melancholy expression, after having embraced me,
" come and be present at your father's death ; your visit is just in
time to take in all the piteous circumstances of so deplorable an
event." With this heartrending reception, she led me by the hand
into a chamber where the wretched Bias of Santillane, stretched on
a comfortless bed, in cold and dismal accord with the thinness of
his fortunes, was just entering on the last great act of human nature.
Though surrounded by the shades of death, he was not quite uncon-
scious of what was passing about him. " My dearest friend," said
my mother, " here is your son Gil Bias, who entreats your forgive-
ness for all his undutiful behavior, and is come to ask your blessing
before you die." At these tidings my father opened his eyes, which
were on the point of closing forever : he fixed them upon me, and
reading in my countenance, notwithstanding the awful brink on
which he stood, that I was a sincere mourner for his loss, his feel-
ings were recalled to sympathy by my sorrow. He even made an
attempt to speak, but his strength was too much exhausted. I took
one of his hands in mine, and while I bathed it with my tears, in
speechless agony of soul, he breathed his last, as if he had only
waited my arrival to pay the debt of nature, and wing his way to
scenes of untried being.
This event had been too long present to my mother's mind to
overwhelm her with any unparalleled affliction. Perhaps it sat
more heavily on me than on her, though my father had never in his
life given me reason to feel for him as a father. But besides that
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. bVJ
mere filial instinct would have made me weep over his cold re-
mains, I reproached myself with not having contributed to the com-
fort of his latter days ; then, when I considered what a hard-hearted
villain I had been, 1 seemed to myself like a monster of ingratitude,
or rather like an impious parricide. My uncle, whom I afterwards
saw lying at his length on another wretched couch, and in a most
lamentable pickle, made me experience fresh agonies of upbraiding
conscience. " Unnatural son !" said I, communing with my own
uneasy thoughts, " behold the chastisement of Heaven upon thy
sins in the disconsolate condition of thy nearest relations. Hadst
thou but thrown to them the superflux of that abundance in which
before thy imprisonment thou roUedst, thou mightest have pro-
cured for them those little comforts which thy uncle's ecclesiastical
pittance was too scanty to furnish, and perhaps have lengthened out
the term of thy father's life."
Gil Perez had fallen into a state of second childhood, and was,
though numerically upon the list of the living, in every individual
organ a mere corpse. His memory, nay, his very senses had retired
from their allotted stations in his system. Bootless was it for me to
strain him in my pious arms, and lavish outward tokens of affection
on him : they might as well have been wasted on the desert air. To
as little purpose did my mother ring in his unnerved ear that I was
his nephew Gil Bias ; he gazed at me with a vacant, stupid stare,
and gave neither sign nor answer. Had the ties of consanguinity
and gratitude been all too weak to awaken my tender sympathy for
an uncle to whom I owed the means of my first launch into the
world, the impression of helpless dotage on my senses must have
softened me into something like the counterfeit of virtuous emotion.
While this scene was passing, Scipio preserved a melancholy
silence, sharing in all my sorrows, and mingling his sighs with
mine in the chastised luxury of friendship. But concluding that
my mother, after so long an absence, might wish to have some such
conversation with me as the presence of a stranger must rather re-
press than promote, I drew him aside, saying, " Go, my good fellow,
sit down quietly at the inn, and leave me here with my only sur-
viving parent, who might consider your company as an intrusion,
while talking over family affairs." Scipio withdrew, for fear of
being a clog upon our confidence, and I sat down with my mother
to an interchange of communication which lasted all night. We
reciprocally gave a faithful account of all that had happened to
each of us since my first sally from Oviedo. She related in full
measure and running over all the petty insults, disappointments,
and mortifications which she had undergone in her pilgrimage from
hou.se to house as a duenna. A great number of these little anec-
518 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
dotes it would have hurt my pride that my secretary should have
uoted down in his biographical budget, though I had never con-
cealed from him the ups and downs in the lottery of my own life.
With all the respect I owe to my mother's sainted memory, the good
lady had not the knack of going the shortest road to the end of a
story ; had she but pruned her own memoirs of all luxuriant circum-
stances, there would not have been materials for more than a tithe
of her narrative.
At length she got to the end of her tether, and I began my career.
With respect to my general adventures, I passed them over lightly ;
but when I came to speak of the visit which the son of Bertrand
Muscada, the grocer of Oviedo, had paid me at Madrid, I enlarged
with decent compunction on that dark article in the history of my
life. " I must frankly own," said I to my mother, " that I gave that
young fellow a very bad reception ; and he, doubtless, in revenge,
must have drawn a hideous outline of my moral features." " He
did you more than justice, I trust," answered she; " for he told us
that he found you so puffed and swollen with the good fortune
thrust upon you by the prime minister, as scarcely to acknowledge
him among your former acquaintance ; and, when he gave you a
moving description of our miseries, you listened as if you had no
interest in the tale, or knowledge of the parties. But as fathers and
mothers can always find some clew for palliation in the conduct of
their graceless children, we were loath to believe that you had so
bad a heart. Your arrival at Oviedo justifies our favorable inter-
pretation, and those tears which are now flowing down your cheeks
are so many pledges either of your innocence or your reformation."
" Your constructions were too partial," replied I ; " there was a
great deal of truth in young Muscada's report. When he came to
see me, all my faculties were engrossed by vanity and mammon ;
ambition, the prevailing devil which possessed me, left not a thought
to throw away on the desolate condition of my parents. It, there-
fore, could be no wonder if, in such a disposition of mind, I gave
rather a freezing reception to a man who, accosting me in a per-
emptory style, took upon him to say, without mincing the matter,
that it was well known I was as rich as a Jew, and therefore he ad-
vised me to send you a good round sum, seeing that you were very
much put to your shifts ; nay, he went so far as to reproach me, in
phrase of more sincerity than good manners, with my unfeeling neg-
ligence of my family. His confounded personality stuck in my
throat; so that, losing my little stock of patience, I shoved him
fairly by the shoulders out of my closet. It must be confessed that
I took the administration of justice a little too much into my own
hands, being judge and party in the same cause; neither was it
AD YEN TUBES OF OIL BLAS. 519
proper that you should bear the brunt, because the grocer was a
little anti-saccharine in his phraseology ; nor was his advice the less
pertinent or just, though couched in homely terms, or urged with
plodding vulgarity.
" All this came plump in the teeth of my conscience the moment
I had turned Muscada out of doors. The voice of natural instinct
contrived to make its way ; my duty to my parents brought the
blood into my face; but it was the blush of shame for its neglect,,
and not the glow of triumph at its performance. Yet even my re-
morse can give me little credit in your eyes, since it was soon stifled
in the fumes of avarice and ambition. But some time afterwards,
having been safely lodged in the tower of Segovia by royal mandate,
I fell dangerously ill there; and that timely remembrancer was the
cause of bringing back your son to you. So true is it that sickness
and imprisonment were my best moral tutors; for they enabled
Nature to resume her rights, and weaned me effectually from the
court. Henceforth, all my dear delight is in solitude ; and my only
business in the Asturias is to entreat that you would share with me
in the mild pleasures of a retired life. If you reject not my earnest
petition, I will attend you to an estate of mine in the kingdom of
Valencia, and we will live there together very comfortably. You
are, of course, aware that I intended to take my father thither, also ;
but since Heaven has ordained it otherwise, let me at least have the
satisfaction of affording an asylum to my mother, and making amends
by all the attentions in my power, for the fallow seasons in the
former harvest of my filial duty."
" I accept your kind intentions in very good part," said my mother,
" and would take the journey without hesitation if I saw no obstacles
in the way. But to desert your uncle in his present condition would
be unpardonable ; and I am too much accustomed to this part of
the country to like living elsewhere : nevertheless, as the proposal
deserves to be maturely weighed, I will consider further of it at my
leisure. At present your father's funeral requires to be ordered and
arranged." "As for that," said I, "we will leave it to the care of
the young man whom you saw with me ; he is my secretary, with
as clever a head and as good a heart as you have often been ac-
quainted with ; let the business rest with him ; it cannot be in
better hands."
Hardly had I pronounced these words when Scipio came back ;
for it was already broad day. He inquired whether he could be of
any service in our present distresses. I answered that he was come
just in time to receive some very important directions. As soon as
he was made acquainted with the business in hand, " A word to the
wise," said he : " the whole procession, with its appropriate heraldry,
620 ADVENTVREi^ OF GIL BIAS.
is already marshalled in this head of mine ; you may trust me for a
very pretty funeral." " Have a care," said my mother, "to make it
plain and decent, without anything like pomp or parade. It can
scarcely be too humble for my husband, whom all the town knows
to have been low in rank and indigent in circumstances." " Madam,"
replied Scipio, "though he had been the meanest and most destitute
of the human race, I would not bate one button in the array of his
posthumous honors. My master's credit is at stake in the proper
conduct of the ceremony ; he has been in an ostensible situation
under the Duke of Lerma, and his father ought to be buried with
all the forms of state and nobility."
I thought exactly as my secretary did upon the subject, and even
80 far as to bid him spare no expense on the occasion. A little
ieaven of vanity still fermented in the mass of my philosophy, and
rose in my bosom with all the effervescence of its original lightness.
I flattered myself that by lavishing posthumous honors on a father
who had blessed the day of his decease by no lucrative bequest, I
should instill into the conceptions of the bystanders a high sense of
my generous nature. My mother, on her part, whatever airs of
humility she might put on, had no dislike to seeing her husband
carried out Avith due observance of funeral pomp and ceremony. We
therefore left Scipio to do just as he pleased ; and he, without a mo-
ment's delay, adopted all the necessary measures for the display of
the undertaker's liveliest fancy.
The genius of that artist was called forth but too successfully.
His emblems, devices, and draperies were so ostentatious as to disgust
the natives : every individual, whether of the town or the suburbs,
whether high or low, rich or poor, felt shocked and insulted by this
after-thought parade. " This ministerial beggar on horseback," said
one, " can put his hand into his pocket for his father's funeral baked
meats, but never found in his heart wherewithal to furnish his living
table with common necessaries." " It would have been much more to
the purpose," said another, " to have made the old gentleman's latter
days comfortable, than to have wasted such thriftless sums on a
post-obit act of filial munificence." In short, quips of the brain and
peltings of the tongue pattered round our execrated heads. It would
have been well had the storm been only a whirlwind of passion or
hurricane of words; but we were all, Scipio, Bertrand, and myself,
corporally admonished of our misdeeds on our coming out of church ;
they abused us like pickpockets, made mouths and odious noises as
we passed, and followed Bertrand at his heels to the inn with a copious
volley of stones and mud. To disperse the mob which hf>d collected
before my uncle's house, my mother was obliged to show herself at
the window, and to declare publicly that she was thoroughly satisfied
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 521
with my proceedings. Another detachment had filed off to the
stable-yard where my carriage stood, in the full determination of
breaking it to pieces ,• and this they would inevitably have done, if
the landlord and landlady had not found some means of quieting
their perturbed spirits, and turning them aside from their outrageous
purpose.
All these affronts, so revolting to my dignity, the effect of the
tales which the young grocer had been sjjreading about town, in-
spired me with such a thorough hatred for my native place that I
determined on quitting Oviedo almost immediately, though but for
this bustle I might have made it my residence for some time. I an-
nounced my intention, with the reasons of it, to my mother, who,
considering my uncouth reception as no very flattering compliment
to herself, did not urge my longer stay among people so little in-
clined to treat me civilly. The only point remaining now to be dis-
cussed was her future destiny and provision. " My dear mother,"
said I, " since my uncle stands so much in need of your attendance,
I will no longer urge you to go along with me ;.but, as his days seem
likely to be very few on earth, you must promise to come and take
up your abode with me at my farm as soon as the last duties are per-
formed to his honored remains."
" I shall make no such promise," answered my mother, " for I
mean to pass the remnant of my days in the Asturias, and in a state of
perfect independence." " Will you not on all occasions," replied I,
" be absolute mistress in my household?" " May be so, and may be
not," rejoined she : "you have only to fall in love with some flirt of
a girl, and then you will marry : then she will be my daughter-in-
law, and I shall be her step-mother ; and then we shall live together
as step-mothers and daughters-in-law usually do." " Your prog-
nostics," said I, " are fetched from a great distance. I have not at
present the most remote intention of entering into the happy state ;
but even though such a whim should take possession of my brain, I
will pledge myself for instructing my wife betimes in an implicit
submission to your will and pleasure." " That is giving security
without the means of making good your contract," replied my
mother ; " you would scarcely be able to justify bail. I would, not
even swear that, in our sparring matches, you might not take your
wife's part in preference to mine, however ill she might behave, or
however unreasonably she might argue."
" You talk very excellent sense, madam," cried my secretary,
coming in for a share of the conversation; "I think just as you
do, that docility is about as much the virtue of a donkey as of a
daughter-in-law. As the matter stands, that there may be no differ-
ence of opinion between my master and you, since you are absolutely
522 ADVENTUBES OF GIL BLAS.
determined to live asunder, you in the Asturias, and he in the king-
dom of Valencia, he must allow you an annuity of a hundred pis-
toles, and send me hither every year for the payment. By thus
arranging matters, mother and son will be very good friends, with
an interval of two hundred leagues between them," The parties
concerned fell in at once with the proposal. I paid the first year in
advance, and stole out of Oviedo the n^xt morning before dawn, for
fear of vying with Saint Stephen in popular favor. Such were the
charms of my return to my native place. An admirable lesson this,
for those successful upstarts who, having gone abroad to make their
fortunes, come home to be the purse-proud tyrants of their birth-
place.
CHAPTER III.
GIL- BLAS SETS OUT FOR VALENCIA, AND ABKIVES AT LIKIAS. DE-
SCRIPTION OF HIS SEAT. PAETICULABS OF HIS RECEPTION.
WE took the road for Leon, afterwards that of Valencia ; and,
continuing our journey by short stages, arrived on the even-
ing" of the tenth day at the town of Segorba, whence early on the
morrow we repaired to my seat, at the distance of very little more
than three leagues. In proportion as we approached nearer, it was
amusing to see with what a longing eye my secretary looked at all
the estates which lay in our way, to the right and left of the road.
Whenever he caught a glimpse of any which bespoke the rank and
opulence of its owner, he never missed pointing at it with his finger,
and wishing that were the place of our retreat.
"I know not, my good friend," said I, "what idea you have formed
of our habitation ; but if you have taken it into your head that ours
is a magnificent house, with the domain of a great landed proprietor,
I warn you in time that you are laying much too flattering an unction
to your vanity. If you have no mind to be the dupe of a warm im-
agination, figure to yourself the little ornamented cottage which
Horace fitted up near Tibur, in the country of the Sabines, on a
small farm, the fee-simple of which was given him by Maecenas. Don
Alphonso has made me just such another present, more as a token
of affection than for the value of the thing." *'Then I must expect
to see nothing but a dirty hovel!" exclaimed Scipio. "Bear in
mind," replied I, " that I have always given you quite an unvar-
nished description of my place ; and now, even at this moment, you
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 523
may judge for yourself whether I have not stuck to truth and nature
in my representations. Just carry your eye along the course of the
Guadalaviar, and observe at a little distance from the further bank,
near that hamlet, consisting of nine or ten tenements, a house with
four small turrets : that is my mansion."
" The deuce and all !" stammered out my secretary, short-breathed
•with sudden admiration ; " why, that house is one of the prettiest
things in nature. Besides the castellated air which those turrets
give it, all the beauties of situation and architecture, fertility of
soil, and perfection of landscape, combine to rival or excel the im-
mediate neighborhood of Seville, complimented as it is for its pic-
turesque attractions by the appellation of an earthly paradise. Had
we chosen the place of our settlement for ourselves, it could not
have been more to my taste : a river meanders through the grounds,
distilling plenty and verdure from its fertilizing bosom ; the leafy
honors of an umbrageous wood invite the mid-day walk, and qualify
the temperature of the seasons. What a heavenly abode of solitude
and contemplation I Ah ! my dear master, we shall act very fool-
ishly if we are in a hurry to run away from our happiness." " I
am delighted," answered I, " that you are so well satisfied with the
retreat provided for us, though yet acquainted with only a small
part of its attractions."
As we were chatting in this strain, we got nearer and- nearer to
the house, where the door opened as by magic, the moment Scipio
announced Signer Gil Bias de Santillane, who was coming to take
possession of his estate. At the mention of this name, received with
reverential homage by the people who had been instructed in the
transfer of their obedience, my carriage was admitted into a large
court, where I alighted ; then, leaning with all my weight upon
Scipio, as if walking were a derogation from my dignity, and putting
on the great man after the most consequential models, I reached the
hall, where, on my entrance, seven or eight servants made their
obeisances. They told me they were come to welcome their new
master with their best loves and duties ; that Don Caesar and Don
Alphonso de Leyva had chosen them to form my establishment,
one in quality of cook, another as under-cbok, a third as scullion, a
fourth as porter, and the rest as footmen ; with an express injunc-
tion to receive no wages or perquisites, as those two noblemen meant
to defray all the expenses of my household. The cook, Master
Joachim by name, was commander-in-chief of this battalion, and
announced to me the whole array of the campaign ; he declared
that he had laid in a large stock of the choicest wines in Spain, and
insinuated that for the solid supply of the table, he flattered him-
self a person of his education and experience, who had been six
624 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
years at the head of my Lord Archbishop of Valencia's kitchen,
must know how to dish up a dinner so as to meet the ideas of the
most fastidious layman in Christendom. " But the proof of the
pudding is in the eating," added he ; " so I will just go aad give
you a specimen of my talent. You had better take a walk, my lord,
while dinner is getting ready; look about the premises, and see
whether you find them in tenantable condition for a person of your
lordship's dignity."
The reader may guess whether I did not stir my stumps; and
Scipio, still more eager than myself to take a bird's-eye inventory
of our goods and chattels, dragged me back and fore from room to
room. There was not a corner of the house that we did not peep
into, from the garret to the cellar ; not a closet or a cranny, at least
as we supposed, could escape our prying curiosity ; and in every
fresh room we went into, I had occasion to admire the kindness of
Don Caesar and his son towards me. I was struck, among other
things, with two apartments, which were as elegantly furnished as
they could be without misplaced magnificence. One of them was
hung with tapestry, the celebrated manufacture of the Low Coun-
tries ; the velvet bed and chairs were still very handsome, though
in the fashion of the time when the Moors possessed the kingdom
of Valencia. The furniture of the other room was in the same taste :
to wit, an old suit of hangings, made of yellow Genoa damask, with
a bed and arm-chairs to match, fringed with blue silk. All these
effects, which would have furnished but a sorry display in an up-
holsterer's shop, made no contemptible appearance in their present
situation.
After having rummaged over every article of the paraphernalia,
my secretary and myself returned to the dining-room, where the
cloth was laid for two ; we sat down, and in an instant they served
up so delicious an olla podrida, that we could not help revolving
on the various turns of the fate below, which had parted the good
Archbishop of Valencia from his cook. We had in truth a most
catholic and ravenous appetite — a circumstance which added new
zest to our praises and enjoyments. Between every succeeding help,
my servants, with all the 'alacrity of fresh and holiday service, filled
our large glasses to the brim with wine, the choicest vintage of La
Mancha. Scipio, not thinking it genteel to express aloud the in-
ward chucklings of his heart at our dainty fare, winked and nodded
his delight, and spoke by signs, which I returned with the like
dumb eloquence of overflowing satisfaction. The remove was a
dish of roast quails, flanking a little leveret in high order, just kept
long enough ; for this we left our hash, good as it wa.s, and gorged
ourselves to a surfeit on the game. When we had eaten as if we
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 525
had never eaten before, and pledged one another in due proportion,
we rose from table, and went into the garden to look out for some
cool, pleasant spot, and take our afternoon's nap voluptuously.
If hitherto my secretary had goggled satisfaction at what he had
seen, he stared wider and grinned broader at this vista vision of the
garden. He scarcely allowed the comparison to be in favor of the
Escurial. The reason of its extreme niceness was, that Don Csesar,
who came backwards and forwards to Lirias, took pleasure in im-
proving and ornamenting it. All the walks well gravelled and lined
with orange trees, a large reservoir of white marble, with a lion in
bronze spouting water like a dolphin's deputy in the middle, the
beauty of the flower borders, the profusion and variety of the fruit
trees, — such pretty particulars as these made Scipio smack his lips,
and snuflf the air ; but his raptures reached their summit at the
gradual descent of a long walk, leading to the bailiff's cottage, and
overarched by the interwoven boughs of the trees planted on each
side. While eulogizing a place so well adapted for a refuge from
the intenseness of the heat, we made a halt, and sat down at the
foot of an elm, where sleep required very little cunning to entangle
two high-fed, half- tipsy blades, just risen from so voluptuous and
voracious a repast.
In about two hours we were startled out of our sleep by the report
of musketry, popping so near the headquarters of our repose that
we apprehended the camp to be attacked. On the alert I was the
first idea that invaded our dozing minds. That we might procure
the most authentic intelligence in what direction the enemy was
approaching, we directed our march towards the bailiff's tenement.
There were collected eight or ten clodhoppers, all friends and
neighbors, assembled on the green for the purpose of honoring my
arrival, just communicated to the dull senses of the said clodhoppers
by a discharge of firearms, whose barrels and furniture might thank
me for the unusual favor of a thorough cleaning. The greater part
of them were acquainted with my person, having seen me more than
once at the castle, while engaged in the business of my stewardship.
No sooner did they set eyes on me than they all shouted in unison,
"Long life to our new lord and master! Welcome to Lirias!"
Then they loaded once again, and fired another volley in honor of
the occasion. My habits and manners were softened down to the
most condescending urbanity, though with a decorous infusion of
distance, lest any degrading constructions might be put upon too
unlimited a freedom of address. With respect to my protection, I
promised it according to the customary charter of newly-installed
possessors, and went so far as to throw them- a purse of twenty pis-
toles ; and this, in my opinion, was the point of all others in my
526 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
conduct which touched their hearts most nearly. After this bene-
faction, I left them at liberty to waste as much powder as they
pleased, and withdrew with my secretary into the wood, where we
walked to and fro till nightfall, wilhoilt being at all tired of our
rural prospect, so many charms had the view of a landscape, height-
ened by the substantial beauties of ownership in fee-simple, to our
elevated and delighted imaginations 1
The cook, the under-cook, and the scullion were not resting upon
their oars all this time ; they were working hard to fit up for us an
artifice of belly timber more magnificent than what we had already
demolished, so that we were over head and ears in amazement,
when, on our return to the room where we had dined, we saw on the
table a dish of four roast partridges, with a smothered rabbit on one
side and a fricasseed capon on the other. The second course con-
sisted of pigs' ears, jugged game, and chocolate cream. We drank
deeply of the most delicious wines, and began to think of going to
bed when it became a matter of doubt whether we could sit up any
longer. Then my people, with lighted candles before me, led the
way to the best bedroom, where they were all most officious in assist-
ing to undress me ; but when they had tendered me my gown and
nightcap, I dismissed them with an authoritative undulation of my
hand, signifying that their services were dispensed with for the re-
mainder of that night.
Thus I sent them all about their business, keeping Scipio for a
little private conference between ourselves; and I led to it by ask-
ing him what he thought of my reception, as arranged by order of
my noble patrons. " Indeed and indeed," answered he, " the human
heart could not devise anything more delicious ; I only wish we may
go on as we have begun." " I have no wish of the kind," replied I:
" it is contrary to my principles to allow that my benefactors should
put themselves to so much expense on my account ; it would be a
downright fraud upon their benevolence. Besides, I could never
feel myself at home with servants in the pay of other people ; it is
just like living in a lodging or an inn. Then it is to be remembered
that I did not come hither to live upon so expensive a scale. What
occasion have we for so large an establishment of servants ? Our
utmost want, with Bertrand, is a cook, a scullion, and a footman."
Though my secretary would not have been at all sorry to table for a
continuance at the governor of Valencia's expense, he did not
oppose his own luxurious taste to my moral delicacy, but con-
formed at once to my sentiments, and approved the reduction I was
meditating to introduce. That point being decided, he left my
chamber, and betook him.self to his pillow in his own.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 627
CHAPTER IV.
JOURNEY TO VALENCIA, AND A VISIT TO THE LORDS OF LEYVA.
CONVERSATION OF THE GENTLEMEN.
I GOT my clothes off as soon as possible, and went to bed, where,
finding no great inclination to sleep, I communed with my own
thoughts. The mutual attachment between the lords of Leyva and
myself was uppermost in the various topics of my contemplation.
With my heart full of their late kindness, I determined on setting
out for their residence the next day, and quenching my impatience
to thank them for their favors. Neither was it a slender gratifica-
tion to anticipate another interview with Seraphina, though there
was somewhat of alloy in that pleasure ; it was impossible to reflect
without shuddering that I should at the same time have to encoun-
ter the glances of Dame Lorenzo Sephora, who might not be
greatly delighted at the renewal of our acquaintance, should her
memory happen to stumble upon the circumstances connected with
a certain box on the ear. With my mind exhausted by all these
different suggestions, my eyelids at length closed, and the sun had
peeped in at my window long before they had turned on their
hinges.
I was soon out of bed, and dressed myself with all possible expe-
dition, in the. earnest desire of prosecuting my intended journey.
Just as I had finished my hasty operations, my secretary came into
the room. " Scipio," said I, " you behold a man on the point of
setting out for Valencia. I ought to lose no time in paying my
respects to those noblemen to whom I am indebted for my little
independence. Every moment of delay in the performance of this
duty throws a new weight of ingratitude on my conscience. As for
you, my friend, there is no necessity for your attendance ; stay here
during my absence ; I shall come back to you within the space of a
week." " Heaven speed you, sir !" answered he ; " be sure you do
not slight Don Alphonso and his father : they seem to me to thrill
with the kindly vibrations of friendship, and to be unbounded in
their acknowledgment of obligation ; gratitude and benevolence are
so uncommon in people of rank, that they deserve to be made the
most of where found." I sent a message to Bertrand, to hold him-
self in readiness for setting out, and took my chocolate while he was
harnessing the mules. When all was prepared, I got into my car-
riage, after having directed my people to consider my secretary as
master of the house in my absence, and to obey his orders as if they
were my own.
02« ADVENTrRES OF GIL BLAS.
I got to Valencia in less than four hours, and drove at once to
the governor's stables, where I alighted and left my equipage. On
going to the house, I was informed that Don Caesar and his son were
together. I did not wait for an introduction, but went in without
ceremony; and addressing myself to both of them, "Servants," said
I, "never send in their names to their masters; here is an old piece
of family furniture, not ornamental indeed, but of a fashion when
gratitude was neither out of date nor out of countenance." These
words were accompanied with an effort to throw myself on my
knees; but they anticipated my purpose, and embraced me one
after the other with all possible evidence of sincere affection. " Well,
then, my dear Santillane," said Don Alphonso, " you have been at
Lirias to take possession of your little property." " Yes, my lord,"
answered I ; " and my next request is, that you would be pleased to
take it back again." " What is your reason for that ?" replied he.
" Is there anything about it at all offensive to your taste?" "Not
in the place itself," rejoined I ; " on the contrary, that is everything
that my heart can wish ; the only fault I have to find with it is that
the kitchen smells too strongly of the hierarchy ; a lay Christian
should not live like an archbishop; besides that, there are three
times as many servants as are necessary, and consequently you are
put to an expense at once enormous and useless."
" Had you accepted the annuity of two thousand ducats, which
we offered you at Madrid," said Don Caesar, "we should have
thought it enough to give you the mansion furnished as it is; but
you know you refused it ; and we felt it but right to do what we
have done as an equivalent." " Your bounty has been too lavish,"
answered I ; " the gift of the estate was the utmost limit to which it
should have been extended, and that was more than sufficient to
crown my largest wishes. But to say nothing about what it has
cost you to keep up so great and expensive an establishment, I de-
clare to you most solemnly that these people stand in my way, and
are a great annoyance. In one word, gentlemen, either take back
your boon, or give me leave to enjoy it in my own way." I pro-
nounced these last words so much as if I were in earnest, that the
father and son, not meaning to lay me under any unpleasant re-
straint, at length gave me their permission to manage my household
as it should seem expedient to my better judgment.
I was thanking them very kindly for having granted me that
privilege, without which a dukedom would have been but splendid
slavery, when Don Alphonso interrupted me by saying, "My dear
Gil Bias, I will introduce you to a lady who will be extremely
happy to see you." Thus preparing me for the interview, he took
me by the hand and led the way to Seraphina's apartment, who set
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 529
up a scream of joy on recognizing me. " Madam," said the gov-
ernor, " 1 flatter myself that the visit of our friend Santillane at
Valencia is not less acceptable to you than myself." "On that
head," answered she, " he may rest confidently avssured ; time has
not obliterated the remembrance of the service which he once ren-
dered me ; and to that must be added a new debt of gratitude in-
curred on the score of your obligations." I told the governor's lady
that I was already too well requited for the danger which I had
shared in common w^ith her deliverers in exposing my life for her
sake : compliments to the like effect were bandied about for some
time on both sides, when Don Alphonso motioned to quit Sera-
phina's room. We then went back to Don Csesar, whom we
found in the saloon with a fashionable party, who were come to
dinner.
All these gentlemen were introduced, and paid their compliments
to me in the politest manner ; nor did their attentions relax in as-
siduity when Don Caesar told them that I had been one of the Duke
of Lerma's principal secretaries. In all likelihood several of them
might not be unacquainted that Don Alphonso had been promoted
to the government of Valencia by my interest, for political secrets
are seldom kept. However that might be, while we were at table,
the conversation principally turned on the new cardinal. Some of
the company either were or affected to be his unqualified admirers,
w^hile others allowed his merit upon the whole, but thought it had
been rather overrated. I plainly saw through their design of draw-
ing me on to enlarge on the subject of his eminence, and to gratify
their taste for scandal with court anecdotes at his expense. I could
have been well enough pleased to have delivered my real sentiments
on his character, but I kept my tongue within my teeth, and thereby
passed, in the estimation of the guests, for a close, confidential,
politic, trustworthy young statesman.
The party respectively retired home after dinner to take their
usual nap, when Don Csesar and his son, yielding to a similar in-
clination, shut themselves up in their apartments.
For my own part, full of impatience to see a town which I had so
often heard extolled for its beauty, I went out of the governor's
palace with the intention of walking through the streets. At the
gate a man accosted me with the following address : " Will Signor
de Santillane allow me to take the liberty of paying my respects to
him?" I asked him who and what he was. "I am Don Caesar's
valet-de-chambre," answered he, " but was one of his ordinary foot-
men during your stewardship ; I used to make my court to you every
morning, and you used to take a great deal of notice of me. I regu-
larly gave you intelligence of what was passing in the house. Do
34
580 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
you recollect my apprising yoii one day that the village surgeon of
Leyva was privately admitted into Dame Lorenza Sephora's bed-
chamber ?" " It is a circumstance which I have by no means for-
gotten," replied I. " But now that we are talking of that formid-
able duenna, what is become of her?" "Alas!" resumed he, "the
poor creature moped and dwindled after your departure, and at
length gave up the ghost, more to the grief of Seraphina than of
Don Alphonso, who seemed to consider her death as no great evil."
Don Caesar's valet-de-chambre, having thus acquainted me with
Sephora's melancholy end, made a bumble apology for having pre-
sumed to stop my walk, and then left me to continue my progress.
I could not help paying the tribute of a sigh to the memory of that
ill-fated duenna ; and her decease affected me the more because I
taxed myself with that melancholy catastrophe, though a moment's
reflection would have convinced me that the grave owed ifs precious
prey to the inroads of her cancer, rather than to the cruel charms of
my person.
I looked with an eye of pleasure upon everything worth notice in
the town. The archbishop's marble palace feasted my eyes with all
the magnificence of architecture , nor were the piazzas which sur-
rounded the exchange much inferior in commercial grandeur ; but a
large building at a distance, with a great crowd standing before the
doors, attracted all my attention. I went nearer, to ascertain the
reason why so great a concourse of both sexes was collected, and
was soon let into the secret by reading the following inscription in
letters of gold on a tablet of black marble over the door : La Posada
de los Representantes. The play-bills announced for that day a new
tragedy, never performed, and gave the name of Don Grabriel Tria-
quero as the author.
CHAPTEE V.
GIL BLAS GOES TO THE PLAY, AND SEES A NEW TRAGEDY. SUCCESS OF
THE PIECE. THE PUBLIC TASTE AT VALENCIA.
I STOPPED for some minutes before the door, to make my re-
marks on the people who were going in. They were of all sorts
and sizes. Here was a knot of genteel-looking fellows, whose tailors
at least had done justice to their fashionable pretensions ; there, a
mob of ill-favored and ill-mannered mortals, in a garb to identify
Tulgarity. To the right was a bevy of noble ladies, alighted from
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 531
their carriages to take possession of their private boxes ; to the left,
a tribe of female traders in lubricity, who came to sell their wares iu
the lobby. This mixed concourse of spectators, as various in their
minds as in their faces, gave me an itching inclination to increase
their number. Just as I was taking my check, the governor and
his lady drove up. They spied me out in the crowd, and having sent
for me, took me with them to their box, where I placed myself behind
tliem, in such a position as to converse at my ease with either.
The theatre was filled with spectators from the ceiling downwards,
the pit thronged almost to sufibcation, and the stage crowded with
knights of the three military orders. " Here is a full house," said I
to Don Alphonso. " You are not to consider that as anything ex-
traordinary," answered he ; " the tragedy now about to be produced
is from the pen of Don Gabriel Triaquero, the most fashionable
dramatic writer of his day. Whenever the play-bill announces any
novelty from this favorite author, the whole town of Valencia is in
a bustle. The men as well as the women talk incessantly on the
subject of the piece; all the boxes are taken ; and on the first night
of performance there is a risk of broken limbs in getting in, though
the price of admission is doubled, with the exception of the pit,
which is too authoritative a part of the house for the proprietors to
tamper with its patience." " What a paroxysm of partiality !" said
I to the governor. " This eager curiosity of the public, this hot-
headed impatience to be present at the first representation of Don
Gabriel's pieces, gives me a magnificent idea of that poet's genius."
At this period of our conversation the curtain rose. We imme-
diately left off talking, to fix our whole attention fin the stage. The
applauses were rapturous even at the prologue: as the performance
advanced, every sentiment and situation, nay, almost every line of
the piece, called forth a burst of acclamation ; and at the end of
each act the clapping of hands was so loud and incessant as almost
to bring the building about our ears. After the dropping of the cur-
tain, the author was pointed out to me, going about from box to
box, and with all the modesty of a successful poet, submitting his
head to the imposition of those laurels which the genteeler and
especially the fairer part of the audience had prepared for his
coronation.
We returned to the governor's palace, where we were met by a
party of three or four gentlemen. Besides these mere amateurs,
there were two veteran authors of considerable eminence in their
line, and a gentleman of Madrid with tolerably fair claims to criti-
cal authority and judgment. They had all been at the play. The
new piece was the only topic of conversation during supper-time.
" Gentlemen," said a knight of St. James, " what do you think of
532 ADVENTURES OF OIL PL AS.
this tragedy ? Has it not every claim to the character of a finished
work? Thoughts that breathe and words that burn, a hand to
touch the true chords of pity and sweep the lyre of poetry — requi-
sites how rarely and yet how admirably united ! In a word, it is
the performance of a person mixjng in the higher circles of society."
"There can^be no possible difference of opinion on that subject,"
said a knight of Alcantara. " The piece is full of strokes which
Apollo himself might have aimed, and of perplexities contrived
so that none but the author himself could have unravelled them.
I appeal to that acute and ingenious stranger," added he, addressing
the Castilian gentleman; "he looks to me like a good judge, and
I will lay a wager that he is on my side of the question." "Take
care how you stake on an uncertainty, my worthy knight," replied
the gentleman, with a sarcastic smile. " I am not of your provin-
cial school ; we do not pass our judgment so hastily at Madrid. Far
from sentencing a piece on its first representation, we are jealous of
its apparent merit while aided by scenic deception ; our fancies and
our feelings may be carried away for the moment, but our serious
decision is suspended till we have read the work ; and the most
common result of its appeal to the press is a defalcation from its
powers of pleasing on the stage.
"Thus you perceive," pursued he, "that it is our practice to
examine a work of genius closely before we stamp on it the mark of
a stock piece ; its author's fame, let it ring as loudly as it may, can
never confound our exactness of discrimination. When Lope de
Vega himself or Calderon ventured on the boards, they encoun-
tered rigid critics, though in an audience which doted on them —
critics who would not sign their passport to the regions of immor-
tality till they had sifted their claims to be admitted there."
" That is a little too much," interrupted the knight of St. James.
" We are not quite so cautious as you. It is not our custom to wait
for the printing of a piece in order to decide on its reputation. By
the very first performance it sinks or swims. It does not even
seem necessary to be inconveniently attentive to the business of the
stage. It is sufficient that we know it for a production of Don
Gabriel, to be persuaded that it combines every excellence. The
works of that poet may justly be considered as commencing a new
era, and fixing the criterion of good taste. The school of Lope and
Calderon was the mere cart of Thespis, compared with the polished
scenes of this great dramatic master." The gentleman who looked
up to Lope and Calderon as the Sophocles and Euripides of the
Spaniards could not easily be brought to acknowledge such wild
canons of criticism. " This is a dramatic heresy with a vengeance !"
exclaimed he. " Since you compel me, gentlemen, to decide like
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 533
you on the fallacious evidence of a first night, I must tell you that
I am not at all satisfied with this new tragedy of your Don Gabriel.
As a poem, it abounds more with glittering conceits than with pas-
sages of pathos or delineations of nature. The verses, three out of
four, are defective either in measure or rhyme; the characters
clumsily imagined or incongruously supported ; and the thoughts
have often the obscurity of a riddlej without its ingenuity."
The two authors jit table, who, with a prudence equally com-
mendable and unusual, had said nothing, for fear of lying under
the imputation of jealousy, could not help assenting to the last
speaker's opinions, by their looks, which warranted me in conclud-
ing that their silence was less owing to the perfection of the work
than to the dictates of personal policy. As for the military critics,
they got to their old topic of ringing the changes on Don Gabriel,
and exalted him to a level with the under tenants of Olympus. This
extravagant association with the demigods, this blind and stiflF-
necked idolatry, divorced the Castilian from his little stock of
patience, so that, raising his hands to heaven, he broke out abruptly
into a volley of enthusiasm : " O divine Lope de Vega, sublime and
unrivalled genius, who hast left an immeasurable space between
thee and all the Gabriels who would light their tapers from thy
bright eff"u]gence! and thou, mellow, soft-voiced Calderon, whose
elegance and sweetness, rejecting buskined rant and tragic swell,
reign with undisputed sway over the afiections, — fear not, either of
you, lest your altars should be overturned by this tongue-tied
nursling of the muses 1 It will be the utmost of his renown if pos-
terity, before whose eyes your works shall live in daily view, and
form their dear delight, shall enroll his name, as matter of history
and curious record, on the list of obsolete authors."
This animated apostrophe, for which the company was not at
all prepared, raised a hearty laugh, after which we all rose from
table and withdrew. An apartment had been got ready for me by
Don Alphonso's order, where I found a good bed ; and my lordship,
lying down in luxurious weariness, went to sleep upon the tag of
the Castilian gentleman's impassioned vindication, and dreamed
most crustily of the injustice done to Lope and Calderon by igno-
rant pretenders.
m^^35^,
634 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER VI.
GIL BLAS, WALKING ABOUT THE STREETS OF VALENCIA, MEETS WITH ▲
MAN OF SANCTITY, WHOM HE THINKS HE KNOWS.
"AT'OT having been able to complete my view of the city on the
i\l preceding day, I got up betimes in the morning with the in-
tention of taking another walk. In the street I remarked a Car-
thusian friar, who doubtless was thus early in motion to promote the
interests of his order. He walked with his eyes fixed on the ground,
and a gait so holy and contemplative as to inspire every passenger
with religious awe. His path was in the same direction as mine. I
looked at him with more than ordinary curiosity, and could not help
fancying it was Don Raphael, that man of shifts and expedients,
who has already secured so honorable a niche in the temple 6f
fame.
I was so utterly astonished, so thrown off my balance by this
meeting, that, instead of accosting the monk, I remained motionless
for some seconds, which gave him time to get the start of me. " Just
Heaven I" said I, " were there ever two faces more exactly alike? I
do not know what to make of it ! It seems incredible that Raphael
should turn up in such a guise ! And yet how is it possible to be
any one else ?" I felt too great a curiosity to get at the truth not to
pursue the inquiry. Having ascertained the way to the monastery
of the Carthusians, I repaired thither immediately, in the hope of
coming across the object of my search on his return, and with the
full intent of stopping and "parleying with him. But it was quite
unnecessary to wait for his arrival to enlighten my mind on the
subject ; on reaching the convent gate, another physiognomy, such
as few persons had read without paying for their lesson, resolved
all my doubts into certainty ; for the friar who served in the capacity
of porter was unquestionably my old and godly-visaged servant,
Ambrose de Lamela.
Our surprise was equal on both sides at meeting again in such a
place. " Is not this a play upon the senses ?" said I, paying my
compliments to him. " Is it actually one of my friends who presents
himself to my astonished sight?" He did not know me again at
first, or probably might pretend not to do so ; but, reflecting within
himself that it was in vain to deny his own identity, he assumed the
start of a man who all at once hits upon a circumstance which had
hitherto escaped his recollection. " Ah, Signor Gil Bias," exclaimed
he, " excuse my not recognizing your person immediately. Since I
have lived in this holy place, every faculty of my soul has been ab-
AD VENTUHES OF GIL BIAS. 535
sorbed in the performance of the duties prescribed by our rules, so
that by degrees I lose the remembrance of all worldly objects and
events."
" After a separation of ten years," said I, " it gives me much pleas-
ure to find you again in so venerable a garb." " For my part,"
answered he, " it fills me with shame and confusion to appear in it
before a man who has been an eye-witness of my guilty courses.
These ghostly weeds are at once the charm of my present life and
the condemnation of my former. Alas !"' added he, heaving a right-
eous sigh, " to be worthy of wearing it, my earlier years should have
been passed in primitive innocence." " By this discourse, so rational
and edifying," replied I, " it is plain, my dear brother, that the finger
of the Lord has been upon you, that you are marked out for a vessel
of sanctification. I tell you once again, I am delighted at it, and
would give the world to know in what miraculous manner you and
Baphael were led into the path of righteousness ; for I am persuaded
that it was his own self whom I met in the town, habited as a Car-
thusian. I was extremely sorry, afterwards, not to have stopped
and spoken to him in the street, and I am waiting here to apologize
for my neglect on his return."
" You were not mistaken," said Lamela ; " it was Don Raphael
himself whom you saw ; and as for the particulars of our conversion,
they are as follows : After parting with you near Segorba, we struck
into the Valencia road, with the design of bettering our trade by
some new speculation. Chance or destiny one day led our steps into
the church of the Carthusians, while service was performing in the
choir. The demeanor of the brethren attracted our notice, and we
experienced in our own persons the involuntary homage which vice
pays to virtue. We admired the fervor with which they poured
forth their devotions, their looks of pious mortification, their dead-
ness to the pleasures of the world and the flesh, and in the settled
composure of their countenances, the outward sign of an approving
conscience within.
"While making these observations, we fell into a train of thought
which became like manna to the hungry and thirsty soul ; we com-
pared our habits of life with the employments of these holy men,
and the wide difference between our spiritual conditions filled us
with confusion and affright. 'Lamela,' said Don Raphael, as we
went out of the church, ' how do you stand affected by what we have
just seen ? For my part, there is no disguising the truth ; my mind
is ill at ease. Emotions new and indescribable are rushing upon
my mind ; and, for the first time in my life, I reproach myself with
the wickedness of my past actions.' ' I am just in the same temper of
soul,' answered I ; ' my iniquities are all drawn up in array against
536 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
me; they beset me, they stare me in the face; my heart, hitherto
proof against all the arrows of remorse, is at this moment shot
through and through, torn and disfigured, tormented and destroyed.'
* Ah I my dear Ambrose,' resumed my partner, * we are two stray
sheep, whom our heavenly Father, in mercy, would lead back gently
to the fold. It is he himself, my child, it is he who warns and
guides us. Let us not be deaf to the call of his voice ; let us abandon
all our wicked courses ; let us begin from this day to work out our
salvation with diligence and in the spirit of repentance: we had
better spend the remainder of our days in this convent, and conse-
crate them to penitence and devotion.'
" I applauded Eaphael's sentiment," continued brother Ambrose,
" and we formed the glorious resolution of becoming Carthusians.
To carry it into effect, we applied to the venerable prior, who was
no sooner made acquainted with our purpose, than, to ascertain
whether our call was from the world above or the world beneath, he
appointed us to cells, and all the strictness of monkish discipline,
for a whole year. We acted up to the rules with equal regularity
and fortitude, and, by way of reward, were admitted among the
novices. Our condition was so much what we wished it, and our
hearts were so full of religious zeal, that we underwent the toils of
our novitiate with unflinching courage. When that was over, we
professed; after which, Don Eaphael, appearing admirably well
qualified, both by natural talent and various experience, for the
management of secular concerns, was chosen assistant to an old friar
who was at that time proctor. The son of Lucinda would infinitely
have preferred dedicating every remaining moment of his existence
to prayer ; but he found it necessary to sacrifice his taste for devo-
tion, in furtherance of the general prosperity. He entered with so
much zeal and knowledge into the interests of the house, that he
was considered as the most eligible person to succeed the old proc-
tor, who died three years afterwards. Don Eaphael accordingly fills
that oflice at present ; and it may be truly said that he discharges
his duty to the entire satisfaction of all our fathers, who praise in
the highest terms his conduct in the administration of our tempor-
alities. What is most of all miraculous, and shows the hand of
Heaven in his conversion, is that, with such an accumulation of
business rushing in upon him in his bursarial department, his re-
gards are inalienably fixed on the world to come. When business
leaves him but a moment to recruit nature, instead of lavishing the
short period in indulgence, his thoughts wing their way into the
regions of devout and holy meditation. In short, he is the most
exemplary member of this body."
At this period of our conversation I interrupted Lamela by an
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 537
ebullition of joy to which I gave vent at the sight of Raphael coming
in. " Here he is !" exclaimed I ; " behold that righteous bursar for
whom I have been so patiently waiting." With a leap and a bound
did I run to meet and embrace him. He submitted to the hug with
his newly-acquired resignation ; and, without betraying the slightest
shock at meeting with an old companion of his profaner hours, hia
words were dictated by the spirit of gentleness and humility : " The
powers above be praised, Signor de Santillane, the powers be
praised for this kind providence whereby we meet again." " In good
truth, my dear Raphael," replied I, "your happy destiny pleases
me as much as if it had been my own good luck ; brother Ambrose
has told me the whole story of your conversion, and the tale almost
moved me to a similar change. What a glorious lot for you two, my
friends, when you have reason to flatter yourselves with being among
that picked number of the elect who have eternal happiness thrust
upon them whether they will or no 1"
" Two miserable sinners like ourselves," resumed the son of Lu-
cinda, with an air which marked the extreme of sanctified morality,
" must not hope that our own merits are of weight enough to save
our souls ; but even the wicked one who repenteth findeth grace
with the Father of mercies. And you, Signor Gil Bias," added he,
" is it not time to lay in a claim for pardon of the oifences which
you have committed ? What is your business here in Valencia ?
Are you not hankering after some office of devil's deputy, and
making shipwreck of your voyage to another world ?" " Not so, by
the blessing of Heaven," answered I ; " since I turned my back on
the court, I have led a very moral sort of life — sometimes enjoy-
ing rural recreations on an estate of mine at a few leagues' distance
from this town, and sometimes coming hither to pass my time
with my friend the governor, whom you must both know perfectly
well."
On this cue I related to them the story of Don Alphonso de
Leyva. They heard the particulars with attention; and on my
telling them that I had carried to Samuel Simon, on the part of
that nobleman, the three thousand ducats of which we had robbed
him, Lamela interrupted the thread of my narrative, and addressing
his discourse to Raphael, said, " Father Hilary, if this be true, the
honest vender of wares has no reason to quarrel with a robbery
which has paid him fifty per cent. ; and our consciences, as far as
that indictment goes, may bask in the sunshine of acquitted inno-
cence." " Brother Ambrose and I," said the bursar, "did actually,
on the assumption of the habit, send Samuel Simon fifteen hundred
ducats privately, by a pious ecclesiastic who made a pilgrimage to
Xelva for the sole purpose of accomplishing this restitution ; but it
538 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
will go hard with Samuel at the general reckoning, if he for filthy
lucre could soil his fingers with that sum, after having been reim-
bursed in full by Signer de Santillane." "But," said I, "how do
you know that your fifteen hundred ducats were faithfully paid into
his hands?" "Unquestionably they were I" exclaimed Don Ra-
phael ; " I would answer for the disinterested purity of that ecclesi-
astic as soon as for my own." " I would be your collateral security,"
said Lamela ; " he is a priest of the strictest sanctity, a sort of
universal almoner ; and though many times cited for sums of money
deposited with him for charitable uses, he has always nonsuited the
plaintiffs, and gone out of court with an augmentation of alms-
giving notoriety."
Our conversation continued for some time longer : at length we
parted, with many a pious exhortation on their side always to have
the fear of the Lord before my eyes, and with many an earnest
entreaty on mine that they would remember me constantly in their
prayers. Don Alphonso was now the first object of my search.
" You will never guess," said I, " with whom I have just had a long
conference. I am but now come from two venerable Carthusians of
your acquaintance ; the name of the one is Father Hilary, that of
the other, brother Ambrose." " You are mistaken," answered Don
Alphonso ; " I am not acquainted with a single Carthusian." " Par-
don me," replied I ; " you have seen brother Ambrose at Xelva in
the capacity of commissary, and Father Hilary as register to the
Inquisition." "Oh, heavens!" exclaimed the governor with sur-
prise, " can it be within the bounds of possibility that Raphael and
Lamela should have turned Carthusians ?" " It is even so," an-
swered I ; " they professed several years ago. The former is bursar
and proctor to the convent, the latter, porter."
The son of Don Caesar rubbed his forehead twice or thrice, then
shaking his head, "These worshipfiil officers of the Inquisition,"
said he, " most assuredly purpose playing over the old farce on a
new stage here." " You judge of them by prejudice," answered I,
" from the impression of their characters as men of sin : but had
you been edified by their lectures as I have been, you would think
more favorably of their holiness. To be sure, it is not for mortal
men to fathom the depth of other men's hearts ; but to all appear-
ance they are two prodigals returned home." " It possibly may be
80," replied Don Alphonso : " there are many instances of libertines,
who hide their heads in cloisters, after having scandalized human
nature by their obliquities, expiating their offences by a severe
penance. I heartily wish that our two monks may be such libertines
restored."
" Well ! and why not?" said I. "They have embraced the mon-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 539
astic life of their own accord, and have squared their conduct for a
length of time according to the maxims of their order." " You may
say what you please," retorted the governor ; " but I do not like the
convent's rents being received by this Father Hilary, of whom I
cannot help entertaining a very untoward opinion. When the fine
story he told us of his adventures comes across my mind, I tremble
for the reverend brotherhood. I am willing to believe with you,
that he has taken the vow with the pious intention of keeping it ;
but the blaze of gold may be too much for the weakness of his re-
generated eyesight. It is bad policy to lock up a reformed drunkard
in a wine cellar."
In the course of a few days Don Alphonso's misgivings were fully
justified; these two official props and stays of the establishment
ran away with the year's revenue. This news, which was immedi-
ately noised about the town, could not do otherwise than set the
tongues of the wits in motion ; for they always make themselves
merry, at the crosses and losses of the well-endowed religious orders,
As for the governor and myself, we condoled with the Carthusians,
but kept our acquaintance with the apostate pilferers in the back-
ground.
CHAPTER VII.
GIL BLAS KETURNS TO HIS SEAT AT LIBTAS. SCIPIO'S AGREEABLE IN-
TELLIGENCE. BEFORM IN THE DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS.
I PASSED a week at Valencia in the first company, living on
equal terms with the best of the nobility. Plays, balls, con-
certs, grand dinners, ladies' parties, all things that heart could wish
or vanity grow tall upon, were provided for me by the governor and
his lady, to whom I paid my court so dexterously, that they were
heartily sorry to see me set out on my return to Lirias. They even
obliged me, before they would let me go, to engage for a division of
time between them and my hermitage. It was determined that I
Bhould spend the winter in Valencia, and the summer at my seat.
After this bargain, ray benefactors left me at liberty to tear myself
from them, and go where their kindness would be always staring
me in the face.
Scipio, who was waiting impatiently for my return, was ready to
jump out of his skin for joy at the sight of me; and his ecstasies
were doubled at my circumstantial account of the journey. "And
640 AD VEMUliES OF GIL JiLAS.
now for your history, my friend," said I, taking breath : " to what
moral uses have you turned the solitary period of my absence ? Has
the time passed agreeably ?" " As well," answered he, " as it could
with a servant to whom nothing is so dear as the presence of his
master. I have walked over our little domain, circuitously and
diagonally : sometimes, seated on the margin of a fountain in our
wood, I have taken pleasure in beholding the transparency of its
waters, which are as pellucid as those of the sacred spring, whose
projection from the rock made the vast forestof Albunea to resound
with the roar of the cascade : sometimes, lying at the foot of a tree,
I have listened to the song of the linnet or the nightingale. At
other times I have hunted or fished ; and, what has given me more
rational delight than all these pastimes, I have whiled away many
a profitable hour in the improvement of my mind."
I interrupted my secretary in a tone of eager inquiry, to ask where
he had procured books. " I found them," said he, " in an elegant
library here in the house, whither Master Joachim took me."
"Heyday! in what corner," resumed I, "can this said library be?
Did we not go over the whole building on the day of our arrival?"
" You fancied so," rejoined he ; " but you are to know that we only
explored three sides of the square, and forgot the fourth. It was
there that Don Caesar, when he came to Lirias, employed part of
his time in reading. There are in this library some very good books,
left as a never-failing phylactery against the blue devils, when our
gardens, despoiled of Flora's treasure, and our woods of their leafy
honors, shall no longer challenge those miscreant invaders to com-
bat in the forest or the bower. The lords of Leyva have not done
things by halves, but have catered for the mind as well as for the
body."
This intelligence filled me with sincere rapture. I was shown to
the fourth side of the square, and feasted with an intellectual ban-
quet. Don Caesar's room I immediately determined to make my
own. That nobleman's bed was still there, with correspondent fur-
niture, consisting of historical tapestry, representing the rape of the
Sabine women by the Romans. From the bedchamber I went into
a closet fitted up with low bookcases, well filled, and over them the
portraits of the Spanish kings. Near a window which commanded
a prospect of a most bewitching country, there was an ebony
writing-desk and a large sofa, covered with black morocco. But I
gave my attention principally to the library. It was composed of
philosophers, poets, historians, and abounded in romances. Don
Caesar seemed to give the preference to that light reading, if one
might judge by the profusion of supply. I must own, to my shame,
that my taste was not at all above the level of those productions,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 541
notwithstanding the extravagances they delight in stringing to-
gether ; whether it was owing to my not being a very critical reader
at that time, or because the Spaniards are naturally addicted to the
marvellous. I must nevertheless plead, in my own justification, that
I was alive to the charms of a sprightly and popular morality, and
that Lucian, Horace, and Erasmus became my favorite and stand-
ard authors.
"My friend," said I to Scipio, when my eyes had coursed over
my library, " here is wherewithal to feed and pamper our minds ;
but our present business is to reform our household." " On that
subject I can spare you a great deal of trouble," answered he.
" During your absence I have sifted your people thoroughly, and
flatter myself it is no empty boast to say that I know them. Let us
begin with Master Joachim : I take him to be as great a scoundrel as
ever breathed, and have no doubt but he was turned away from the
archbishop's for errors which were too great to be excepted in the
passing of his accounts. Yet we must keep him for two reasons :
the first, because he is a good cook ; and the second, because I shall
always have an eye over him ; I shall peep into his actions like a
jackdaw into a marrowbone, and he must be a more cunning fellow
than I take him for to evade my vigilance. I have already told him
that you intended discharging three-fourths of your establishment.
This declaration stuck in his stomach ; and he assured me that, owing
to his extreme desire of living with you, he would be satisfied with
half his present wages rather than be turned off", which made me
suspect that he was tied to the string of some petticoat in the ham-
let, and did not like to break \x\y his t[uarters. As for the under-
cook, he is a drunkard, and the porter a foul-mouthed Cerberus, of
whose guardianship our gates are in no want ; neither is the game-
keeper a necessary evil. I shall take the latter office myself, as you
may see to-morrow, when we have got our fowling-pieces in order,
and are provided with powder and shot. With regard to the foot-
men, one of them is an Arragonese, and to my mind a very good
sort of fellow. We will keep him ; but all the rest are such rapscal-
lions that I would not advise you to harbor one of them, if you
wanted an army of attendants."
After having fully debated the point, we resolved to keep well
with the cook, the scullion, the Arragonese, and to get rid of the re-
mainder as decently as we could ; all which was planned and exe-
cuted on the same day, mollifying the bitter dose by the application
of a few pistoles, which Scipio took from our strong box, and dis-
tributed among them as from me. When we had carried this reform
into effect, order was soon established in our mansion ; we divided the
business fairly among our remaining people, and began to look into
642 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
our expenses. I could willingly have been contented with very
frugal commons ; but my secretary, loving high dishes and relishing
bits, was not a man who would suflfer Master Joachim to hold his
place as a sinecure. He kept his talents in such constant play,
working double tides at dinner and at supper, that any one would
have thought we had been converted by Father Hilary, and were
working out the term of our probation. •
CHAPTER VIII.
THE LOVES OF GIL BLAS AND THE FAIR ANTONIA.
TWO days after my return from Valencia to Lirias, clodpole
Basil, my farming man, came at my dressing-time to beg the
favor of introducing his daughter Antonia, who was very desirous,
as he said, to have the honor of paying her respects to her new mas-
ter. I answered that it was very proper, and would be well received.
He withdrew, and in a few minutes returned with his peerless An-
tonia. That epithet, though bold, will not be thought extravagant
in the case of a girl from sixteen to eighteen years of age, uniting to
regular features the finest complexion and the brightest eyes in the
world. She was dressed in nothing better than a stuff gown ; but a
stature somewhat above the female standard, a dignified deportment,
and such graces as soared higher than the mere freshness and glow
of youth, communicated to her rustic attire the simplicity of classi-
cal costume. She had no cap on her head; her hair was fastened
behind with a knot of flowers, according to the chaste severity of the
Spartan fashionables.
When she illumined my chamber with her presence, I was struck
as much on a heap by her beauty as ever were the princes, knights,
nobles, and strangers, assembled at the solemn feast and tournament
of Charlemain, by the personal charms of Angelica, Instead of re-
ceiving Antonia with modish indifference, and paying her compli-
ments of course, instead of ringing the changes on her father's
happiness in possessing so lovely a daughter, I stood stock still,
staring, gaping, stammering: I could not have uttered an articulate
sound for the universal world. Scipio, who saw clearly what was
the matter with me, took the words out of my mouth, and accepted
those bills of admiration which my affairs were in too much disorder
to admit of my duly honoring. For her part, my figure being
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 643
shrouded by a dressing-gown and nightcap, like the orb of day by a
winter fog, she accosted me without being shamefaced, and paid her
duty in terms which fired all the combustibles in my composition,
though her words were but the holiday expressions of commonplace
salutation. In the meantime, while my secretary, Basil, and his
daughter, were engaged in reciprocal exchange of civility, I found
my senses again ; and passed from one extreme of absurdity to an-
other, just as if I had thought that a hare-brained loquacity would
be a set-off against the idiotic silence of my first encounter. I ex-
hausted all my stock of well-bred rodomontade, and expressed myself
with so unguarded a freedom as to make Basil look about him ; so
that he, with his eye upon me as a man who would set every engine
at work to seduce Antonia, was in a hurry to get her safely out of
my apartment, with a resolved purpose, probably;; of withdrawing
her forever from my pursuit.
Scipio, finding himself alone with me, said with a smile, " Here
is another defence for you against the blue devils 1 I did not know
that your farming man had so pretty a daughter ; for I had never
seen her before, though I have been twice at his house. He must
have taken infinite pains to keep her out of the way, and it is
impossible to be angry at him for it. What the plague! here is a
morsel for a lickerish palate I But there seems to be no necessity
for blazoning her perfections to you ; their very first glance dazzled
you out of countenance," " I do not deny it," answered I. " Ah,
my beloved friend, I have surely seen an inhabitant of the realms
above ; the electrical spark now thrills through all my frame ; it
scorches like lightning, yet tingles like the vivifying fluid at my
heart."
"You delight me beyond measure," replied my secretary, "by
giving me to understand that you have at length fallen in love.
Nothing but a mistress was wanting to complete your rural estab-
lishment at all points. Thanks to Heaven, you are now likely to
be accommodated in every way. I am well aware that we shall
have a hard matter to elude Basil's vigilance ; but leave that to me,
and I will undertake before the end of three days to manage a pri-
vate meeting for you with Antonia." " Master Scipio," said I, " it
is not BO sure that you will be able to keep your word ; but, at all
events, I have not the least desire to make the experiment. I will
have nothing to do with the ruin of that girl, for she is an angel, and
does not deserve to be numbered among the fallen ones. Therefore,
instead of laying the guilt upon your soul of assisting me in her
dishonor, I have made up my mind to marry her, with your kind
help, supposing her heart not to be preoccupied by a prior attach-
ment." " I had no idea," said he, ** of your directly plunging head-
544 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
long into the cold bath of matrimony. The generality of landlords
in your place would stand upon the ancient tenure of manorial
rights ; they would not deal with Antonia upon the square of
modern law and gospel, till after failure in the establishment of
their feudal privileges. But though this may be the way of the
world, do not suppose that I am by any means against your honor-
able passion, or at all wish to dissuade you from your purpose.
Your bailiff's daughter deserves the distinction you design for her,
if she can give you the first fruits of her heart, an offering of sensi-
bility and gratitude ; that is what I shall ascertain this very day, by
talking with her father, and possibly with her."
My agent was a man to transact his business according to the
letter. He went to see Basil privately, and in the evening came to
me in my closet, where I waited for him with impatience, somewhat
exasperated by apprehension. There was a slyness in his counte-
nance, whence my prognostic inclined to the brighter side. "Judg-
ing," said I, " by that look of suppressed merriment, you are come
to acquaint me that I shall soon be at the summit of human bliss."
"Yes, my dear master," answered he; "the heavens smile upon
your vows. I have talked the matter over with Basil and his
daughter, declaring your intentions without reserve. The father is
delighted at the idea of your asking his blessing as a son-in-law ;
and you may set your heart at rest about Antonia's taste in a hus-
band." " Darts and flames !" cried I, in an ecstasy of amorous
transport. " What! am I so happy as to have made myself agree-
able to that lovely creature ?" " Never question it," replied he ;
" she loves you already. It is true she has not owned so much by
word of mouth; but my assurance rests on the tale-telling sparkle
of her eye when your proposals were made known to her. And yet
you have a rival." " A rival !" exclaimed I, with a faltering voice
and a cheek blanched with fear. " Do not let that give you the
least uneasiness," said he ; " your competitor cannot bid very high,
for he is no other than Master Joachim, your cook." " Ah I the
hangdog!" said I, with an involuntary shout of laughter; "this is
the reason, then, why he had so great an objection to being turned
out of my service." "Exactly so," answered Scipio; "within these
few days he made proposals of marriage to Antonia, who politely
declined them." " With submission to your better judgment," re-
plied I, " it would be expedient — at least so it strikes me — to get rid
of that strange fellow before he is informed of my intended match
with Basil's daughter ; a cook, as you are aware, is a dangerous
rival." " You are perfectly in the right," rejoined my trusty coun-
sellor ; "we must clear the premises of him,— he shall receive his
discharge from me to-morrow morning, before he puts a finger in
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 546
the fricandeaus ; thus you will have nothing more to fear either
from his poisonous sauces or bewitching tongue. Yet it goes
rather against the grain with me to part with so good a cook ; but I
sacrifice the interests of my own belly to the preservation of your
precious person." "You need not," said I, "take on so for his
loss ; he had no exclusive patent ; and I will send to Valencia for a
cook who shall outcook all his fine cookery." According to my pro-
mise, I wrote immediately to Don Alphonso, to let him know that
our kitchen wanted a prime minister, and on the following day he
filled up the vacancy in so worthy a manner as reconciled Scipio at
once to the change in culinary politics.
Though my adroit and active secretary had assured me of An-
tonia's secret self-congratulation on the conquest of her landlord's
heart, I could not venture to rely solely on his report. I was fearful
lest he should have been entrapped by false appearances. To be
more certain of my bliss, I determined on speaking in person to the
fair Antonia. I therefore went to Basil's house, and confirmed to
him what my ambassador had announced. This honest peasant, of
patriarchal simplicity and golden-aged frankness, after having heard
me through, did not hesitate to own that it would be the greatest
happiness of his life to give me his daughter; "but," added he,
" you are by no means to suppose that it is because you are lord of
the manor. Were you still steward to Don Cajsar and Don Al-
phonso, I should prefer you to all other suitors who might apply : I
have always felt a sort of kindness towards you ; and nothing vexes
me but that Antonia has not a thumping fortune to bring with her."
" I want not the vile dross," said I ; " her person is the only dowry
that I covet." " Your humble servant for that," cried he ; " but you
will not settle accounts with me after that fashion ; I am not a beg-
gar, to marry my daughter upon charity. Basil de Buenotrigo is in
circumstances, by the blessing of Providence, to portion her oflf de-
cently ; and I mean that she should set out a little supper, if you
are to be at the expense of dinners. In a word, the rental of this
estate is only five hundred ducats: I shall raise it to a thousand,
on the strength of this marriage."
" Just as you please, my dear Basil," replied I ; "we are not likely
to have any dispute about money matters. We are both of a mind ;
all that remains is to get your daughter's consent." " You have
mine," said he, " and that is enough." " Not altogether so," an-
swered I; "though yours may be absolutely necessary, no business
can be done without hers." " Hers follows mine of course," replied
he; " I should like to catch her murmuring against my sovereign
commands!" "Antonia," rejoined I, "with dutiful submission to
paternal authority, is ready, without question, to obey your will
35
516 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAH.
implicitly in all things ; but I know not whether in the present in-
stance she would do so without violence to her own feelings ; and,
should that be the case, I could never forgive myself for being .the
occasion of unhappiness to her ; in short, it is not enough that I
obtain her hand from you, if her heart is to heave a sigh at the
decision of her destiny." " O, blessed virgin 1" said Basil ; " all
these fine doctrines of philosophy are far above my reach ; speak to
Antonia your own self, and you will find, or I am very much mis-
taken, that she wishes for nothing better than to be your wife."
These words were no sooner out of his mouth, than he called his
daughter, and left me with her for a few short minutes.
Not to trifle with so precious an opportunity, I broke my mind to
her at once. " LoA'ely Antonia," said I, " it remains with you to fix
the color of my future days. Though I have your father's consent,
do not think so meanly of me as to suppose that I would avail my-
self of it to violate the sacred freedom of your choice. Rapturous
as must be the possession of your charms, I waive my pretensions if
you but tell me that your duty, and not your will, complies." " It
would be affectation to put on such a repugnance," answered she ;
" the honor of your addresses is too flattering to excite any other
than agreeable sensations, and I am thankful for my father's tender
care of me, instead of demurring to his will. I am not sure whether
such an acknowledgment may not be contrary to the rules of female
reserve in the polite world ; but if you were disagreeable to me, I
should be plain-spoken enough to tell you so ; why, then, should I
not be equally free in owning the kind feelings of my heart?"
At sounds like these, which I could not hear without being enrap-
tured, I dropped on my knees before Antonia, and in the excess of
my tender emotions, taking one of her fair hands, kissed it with an
affectionate and impassioned action. " My dear Antonia," said I,
" your frankness enchants me : go on ; let nothing induce you to
depart from it ; you are conversing with your future husband ; let
your soul expand itself, and reveal all its inmost emotions in his
presence. Thus, then, may I entertain the flattering hope that you
will not frown on the union of our destinies !" The coming in of
Basil at this moment prevented me from giving further vent to the
delightful sensations which thrilled through me. Impatient to know
how his daughter had behaved, and ready primed for scolding in
case she had been perverse or coy, he made up to me immediately,
" Well, now," said he, " are you satisfied with Antonia ?" " So much
so," answered I, " that I am going this very moment to set forward
the preparations for our marriage." So saying, I left the father
and daughter, for the purpose of taking counsel with my secretary
thereupon.
ADVENTUBES OF GIL BIAS. 647
CHAPTER IX.
NTTPTIALS OF GIL BLAS WITH THE FAIR ANTONIA : THE STYLE AND
MANNER OF THE CEREMONY.
THOUGH there was no occasion to consult with the lords of
Leyva about my marriage, yet Scipio and myself were of opinion
that I could not decently do otherwise than communicate to them
my purpose of connecting myself with Basil's daughter, and just
pay them the compliment of asking their advice, after the act was
finally determined on.
I immediately went off to Valencia, where my visit was a matter
of surprise, and still more the purport of it. Don Caesar and Don
Alphonso, who were acquainted with Antonia, having seen her more
than once, wished me joy on my good fortune in a wife. Don
Caesar, in particular, made his speech upon the occasion with so
much youthful fire, that if there had not been reason to suppose his
lordship weaned, by that icy moralist, time, from certain naughty
propensities, I should have suspected him of going to Lirias now
and then, not so much to look after his concerns there, as after his
little empress of the dairy, Seraphina, too, with the kindest assur-
ances of a lively interest in whatever might befall me, said that she
bad heard a very favorable character of Antonia; "but," added
she, with a malicious fling, as if to taunt me with my supercilious
reception of Sephora's amorous advances, " even though her beauty
had not been so much the talk of the country, I could have de-
pended on your taste, from former experience of its delicacy and
fastidiousness."
Don Caesar and his son did not stop at cold approbation of my
marriage, but declared that they would defray all the expenses of it.
" Measure back your steps," said they, " to Lirias, and stay quietly
there till you hear further from us. Make no preparation for your
nuptials, for we shall make that our concern." To meet their kind
intentions with becoming gratitude, I returned to my mansion, and
acquainted Basil and his daughter with the projected kindness of
our patrons. We determined to wait their pleasure with as much
patience as falls to the lot of poor human nature under such cir-
cumstances. Eight long days dragged out their tedious measure,
and brought no tidings of our bliss. But the rewards of self-control
are not the less assured for being slow : on the ninth, a coach drawn
by four mules drove up, with a cargo of mantua-makers for the bride,
and an assortment of rich silks on which to exercise their art.
Several livery servants, mounted on mules, accompanied the caval-
548 ADVENTUREii OF GIL BLAS.
cade. One of them brought me a letter from Don Alphonso. That
nobleman sent me word that he would be at Lirias next day with
his father and his wife, and that the marriage ceremony should be
performed on the day after that, by the vicar-general of Valencia.
And just so it came to pass : Don Caesar, his son, and Seraphina,
with that venerable dignitary, were punctual to their appointment,
all four of them in a coach and six, — none of your mules, like the
mantua-makers, — preceded by another coach and four, with Sera-
phina's women ; and the rear was brought up by a company of the
governor's guards.
The governor's lady had hardly entered the house before she tes-
tified an ardent longing to see Antonia, who, on her part, no sooner
knew that Seraphina was arrived, than she ran forward to bid her
welcome, with a respectful kiss upon her hand, so gracefully and
modestly impressed, that all the company were enchanted at the
action, " And now, madam," said Don Caesar to his daughter-in-
law, " what do you think of Antonia? Could Santillane have made
a better choice ?" " No," answered Seraphina, " they are worthy
each of the other ; there can be no doubt but their union will be
most happy." In short,^ every one was lavish in the praise of my
intended ; and if they felt her beams so powerfully under the eclipse
of stuff gown, what must they not have endured from her brightness
in the meridian sunshine of her wedding finery ? One would have
fancied she had been clothed in silks, jewels, and fine linen from
her cradle, by the dignity of her air and the ease of her deportment.
The happy moment which was to unite two fond lovers in the
bands of Hymen being arrived, Don Alphonso took me by the hand
and led me to the altar, while Seraphina conferred the like honor
on the bride elect. Our procession had marched in fit and decent
order through the hamlet to the chapel, where the vicar-general was
waiting to go through the service ; and the ceremony was performed
amidst the heartfelt congratulations of the inhabitants, and of all
the wealthy farmers in the neighborhood, whom Basil had invited
to Antonia's wedding. Their daughters, too, came in their train,
tricked out in ribbons and in flowers, and dancing to the music of
their own tambourines. We returned to the mansion under the
same escort ; and there by the provident attentions of Scipio, who
oflSciated as high steward and master of the ceremonies, we found
three tables set out ; one for the principals of the party, another for
their household, and the third, which was by far the largest, for all
invited guests promiscuously. Antonia was at the first, the gov-
ernor's lady having made a point of.it; I did the honors of the
second ; and Basil was placed at the head of that where the country
people dined. As for Scipio, he never sat down, but was here, there
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 549
and everywhere, fetching and carrying, changing plates and filling
bumpers, urging the company to call freely for what they wanted,
and egging them on to mirth and jollity.
The entertainment had been prepared by the governor's cooks ;
and that is as much as to say that there were all the delicacies im-
aginable, in season or out of season. The good wines laid in for me
by Master Joachim were set running at a furious rate; the guests
were beginning to feel their jovial influence, pleasantry and repartee
gave a zest to conviviality, when on a sudden our harmony was in-
terrupted by an alarming occurrence. My secretary, being in the
hall where I was dining with Don Alphonso's principal officers and
Seraphina's women, suddenly fainted. I started up and ran to his
assistance ; and, while I was employed in bringing him about, one
of the women was taken ill also. It was evident to the whole com-
pany that this sympathetic malady must involve some mysterious
incident, as in effect it turned out, almost immediately, that thereby
hung a tale ; for Scipio soon recovered, and said to me in a low
voice, " Why must one man's meat be another man's poison, and
the most auspicious of your days the curse of mine ? But every
man bears the bundle of his sins upon his back, and my pack-
saddle is once more thrown across my shoulders in the person of
my wife."
" Powers of mercy !" exclaimed I, " this can never be ! It is all a
romance. What ! you the husband of that lady whose nerves were
so affected by the disturbance ?" " Yes, sir," answered he, " I am
her husband ; and fortune, if you will take the word of a sinner,
could not have done me a dirtier office than by conjuring up such
a grievance as this." " I know not, my friend," replied I, " what
reasons you may have for thus belaboring your rib with wordy
buffets ; but however she may be to blame, in mercy keep a bridle
on your tongue ; if you have any regard for me, do not displace the
mirth and spoil the pleasure of this nuptial meeting by ominous
disorder or enraged questions of past injuries." "You shall have
no reason to complain on that score," rejoined Scipio, "but shall
see presently whether I am not a very apt dissembler."
With this assurance he went forward to his wife, whom her com-^
panions had also brought back to life and recollection, and, em-
bracing her with as much apparent fervor as if his raptures had
been real, "Ah, my dear Beatrice," said he, "Heaven has at length
united us again after ten years of cruel separation I But this blissful
moment is well purchased by whole ages of torturing suspense !"
" I know not," answered his spouse, " whether you really are at all
the happier for having recovered a part of yourself: but of this at
least I am fully certain, that you never had any reason to run away
r>oO ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
from me as you did. A fine story indeed I You found me one night
with Signor Don Ferdinand de Leyva, who was in love with my
mistress Julia, and consulted me on the subject of his passion ; and
only for that, you must take it into your stupid head that I was
caballing with him against your honor and my own: thereupon
that poor brain of yours was turned with jealousy; you quitted
Toledo in a huff, and ran away from your own flesh and blood as
you would from a monster of the deserts, without leaving word why
or wherefore. Now, which of us two, be so good as to tell me, has
most reason to take on and be pettish ?" " Your own dear self,
beyond all question," replied Scipio. "Beyond all question," re-
echoed she, "my own ill-used self. Don Ferdinand, very shortly
after you had taken yourself off from Toledo, married Julia, with
whom I continued as long as she lived ; and, after he had lost her
by sudden death, I came into my lady her sister's service, who, as
well as all her maids, — and I would do as much for them, — will
give me a good character ; honest and sober, and a very termagant
among the impertinent fellows."
My secretary, having nothing to allege against such a character
from my lady and her maids, was determined to make the best of a
bad bargain. " Once for all," said he to his spouse, " I acknowl-
edge my bad behavior, and beg pardon for it before this honorable
assembly." It was now time for me to act the mediator, and to
move Beatrice for an act of amnesty, assuring her that her husband
from this time forward would make it the great object of his life to
play the husband to her satisfaction. She began to see that there
was reason in roasting of eggs, and all present were loud in their
congratulations on the triumph of suffering virtue, and the reno-
vated pledge of broken vows. To bind the contract firmer, and
make it memorable, they were seated next to one another at table ;
their healths were drank according to the laws of toasting : " Wish
you joy !" " Many returns of this happy day !" rang round on every
side: one would have sworn that the dinner was given for their
reconciliation, and not on account of my marriage.
The third table was the first to be cleared. The young villagers
jumped up in a body ; the lads took out their blooming partners ;
the tambourines struck up a merry beat; spectators flocked from
the other tables, and caught the enlivening spirit from the gay
bustle of the scene. Every limb and muscle of every individual
was in motion : the household of the governor and his lady formed
a set, apart from the rustics of the company, while their superiors
did not disdain to mingle with the homelier dancers. Don Alphonso
danced a sarabar.d with Seraphina, and Don Caesar another with
Antonia, who afterwards took me for her partner. She did not per-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 651
form much amiss, considering that she never got much further than
the five positions, in learning which she had had her ankles kicked to
pieces by a provincial dancing-master at Albarazin, while on a visit
to a tradesman's wife, one of her relations. As for me, who, as I
have already said, had taken lessons at the Marchioness de Chaves's,
I figured away as the principal man in this rural ballet. With re-
gard to Beatrice and Scipio, they preferred a little private conver-
sation to dancing, that they might compare notes on the subject oh
wear and tear during the painful period of separation ; but their
billing and cooing was interrupted by Seraphina, who, having been
informed of this dramatic discovery, sent for them to pay the cus-
tomary compliments of congratulation. " My good people," said
she, " on this day of general joy, it gives me additional pleasure to
see you two restored to one another. My friend Scipio, I return
you your wife under a firm belief that she has always conducted
herself as became a woman ; take up your abode with her here, and
be a good husband to her. And you, Beatrice, attach yourself to
Antonia, and let her be as much the object of your devoted service
as Signor de Santillane is that of your husband." Scipio, who could
not possibly, after this, think of Penelope as fit to hold a candle to
his own wife, promised to treat her with all the deference due to
such a paragon of conjugal fidelity.
The country people, having kept up the dance till late, withdrew
to their own homes ; but the rejoicings were prolonged by the com-
pany in the house. There was a grand supper, and at bed-time the
vicar-general pronounced the blessing of consummation. Seraphina
undressed the bride, and the lords of Leyva did me the same honor.
The ridiculous part of the business was, that Don Alphonso's officers
and his lady's attendants took it into their heads, by way of divert-
ing themselves, to perform the same ceremony : they also undressed
Beatrice and Scipio, who, to render the scene supremely farcical,
gravely allowed themselves to be untrussed and put to bed with all
nuptial pomp and state.
552 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
CHAPTER X.
THE HONEYMOON (A VERY DULL TIME FOR THE READER), ENLIVENED
BY THE COMMENCEMENT OF SCIPIO'S STORY.
" 'Tis lieaven itself, 'tis ecstasy of bliss,
Uninterrupted joy, untired excess ;
Mirtli following mirth, the moments dance away ;
Love claims the night, and friendship rules the day."
ON the day after the wedding, the lords of Leyva returned to
Valencia, after having lavished on me a thousand marks of
friendship. There was such a general clearance, that my secretary
and myself, with our respective wives, and our usual establishment,
were left in uadisturbed possession of our own home.
The efforts which we both made to please our ladies were not
thrown away : I breathed by degrees into the partner of my joys and
sorrows as much love for me as I entertained for her ; and Scipio
made his better part forget the woes and privations he had occa-
sioned her. Beatrice, who had very winning ways with her, and was
all things to all women, had no difficulty about worming herself into
the good graces of her new mistress, and gaining her complete con-
fidence. In short, we all four agreed admirably well together, and
began to enjoy a bliss above the common lot of humanity. Every
day rolled along more delightfully than the last. Antonia was
pensive and demure ; but Beatrice and myself were enlisted in the
crew of mirth ; and even though we had been constitutionally sedate,
Scipio was among us, and he was of himself a pill to purge melan-
choly. The best creature in the world for a snug little party 1 one
of those merry drolls who have only to show their comical faces, and
set the table in a roar of inextinguishable laughter.
One day, when we had taken a fancy to go after dinncK and doze
away the usual interval in the most sequestered spot about the
grounds, my secretary got into such exuberant spirits as to chase
away the drowsy god by his exhilarating sallies. " Do hold your
tongue, my loquacious friend," said I ; " or else, if you are determined
to wage war against this lazy custom of our afternoons, at least tell
us something which we shall be the wiser for hearing." " With all
my heart and soul, sir," answered he. " Would you have me go
through all fabulous histories of wandering knights, distressed dam-
sels, giants, enchanted castles, and the whole train of legendary ad-
ventures ?" " I would much rather hear your own true history,"
replied I ; " but that is a pleasure which you have not thought lit to
give me so long as we have lived together, and I seem likely to go
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 653
without it to the end of the chapter." " How happens that ?" said
he. " If I have not told you my own story, it is because you never
expressed the slightest wish to be troubled with the recital ; there-
fore it is not my fault if you are in the dark about my past life; but
if you are really at all curious to be let into the secret, my loquacity
is very much at your service on the occasion." Antonia, Beatrice,
and myself unanimously took him at his word, and arranged our-
selves for listening like an attentive audience. The speculation was
a safe one on our parts ; for the tale was sure to answer, either as a
stimulant or a soporific.
" I certainly ought to have been descended," said Scipio, " from
some family of the highest rank and earliest antiquity ; or, in default
of such parentage, from the most distinguished orders of personal
merit, such as that of St. James of Alcantara, if a man may be per-
mitted to decide on the fittest circumstances for his (mn birth : but
as it is not among the privileges of human nature to elect one's own
father, you are to know that mine, by name Torribio Scipio, was a
subaltern myrmidon of the Holy Brotherhood. As he was going back
and fore on the king's highway, and looking after business in his
own line, he met, once on a time, between Cuen<}a and Toledo, with
a young Bohemian babe of chance, who appeared very pretty in his
eyes. She was alone, on foot, and carried her whole patrimony at
her back in a kind of knapsack. ' Whither are you going, my little
darling?' said he, in a philandering tone of voice, unlike the natural
hoarseness of his accents. ' Good worthy gentleman,' answered she,
* I am going to Toledo, where I hope to gain an honest livelihood by
hook or by crook.' ' Your intentions are highly commendable,' re-
torted he ; * and I doubt not but you have many a hook and many a
crook among the implements of your trade.' * Yes, with a blessing
on my endeavors,' rejoined she: 'I have several little ways of doing
for myself: I know how to make washes and creams for the ladies'
faces, perfumes for their noses and their chambers ; then I can tell
fortunes, can search for things lost with a sieve and shears, and erect
figures for the taking in of shadows with a glass.'
" Torribio, concluding that so well-provided a girl would be a very
advantageous match for a man like himself, who could scarcely
scrape wherewithal to support life by his own profession, though he
was as good a thief-taker as the best of them, made her an offer of
marriage, and she was nothing loath, nor prudishly coy. They flew
on the wings of inclination and convenience to Toledo, where they
were joined together ; and you behold in me the happy pledge of
holy and lawful matrimony. They fixed themselves in a shop on
the outskirts of the town, where my mother commenced her career
by selling the said washes, creams, tapes, laces, silk, thread, toys.
654 ADVENTURES OF GIL liLAS.
and peddler's ware ; but trade not being brisk enough to live com-
fortably by it, she turned fortune-teller. This drew her customers,
got her countenance, credit, crowns, and pistoles : a thousand dupes
of either sex soon trumpeted up the reputation of Cosclina — for so
my gypsy mamma had the honor to be named. Some one or other
came every day to bargain for the exercise of her skill in the black
art ; at one time a nephew at his wit's and purse's end, wanting to
know how soon his uncle was to set off post for the other world, and
leave behind him wherewithal to piece his worn-out fortunes; at
another, some yielding, lovesick girl, to inquire whether the swain
who kept her company, and had promised to marry her, would keep
his word or be false-hearted.
" You will take notice, if you please, that my mother always sold
good luck for good money ; if the accomplishment trod on the heels
of the prediction, well and good; if it was fulfilled according to the
rule of contraries, she was always cool, though the parties were ever
so violently in a passion, and told them plainly that it was her
familiar's fault, not hers, for though she paid him the highest
wages, and bound him by potent spells to stir up the caldron of
of futurity from the bottom, like earthly cooks, he would some-
times be careless or out of humor, and apportion the ingredients
wrongly.
" When my mother thought the conjuncture momentous enough
to raise the devil without cheapening him in the eyes of the vulgar,
Torribio Scipio enacted his infernal majesty, and played the part
just as if he had been born to it, humoring the hideous features of
the character by a very small aggravation of his own natural face,
and practicing the pandemonian note of elocution in the lower
octave of hia voice. A person in the slightest degree superstitious
would be scared out of his senses at my father's figure. But one
day, as his satanic prototype would have it, there came a savage
rascal of a captain, who asked to see the devil, for no earthly pur-
pose but to run him clean through the body. The Inquisition, hav-
ing received notice of the devil's death, sent to take charge of his
widow, and administered to his effects ; a3 for poor little me, ja«t
seven years old at the time, I was sent to the foundling hospital.
There were some charitable ecclesiastics on that establishment, who,
being liberally paid for the education of the poor orphans, were so
zealous in their ofiice as to teach them reading and writing. They
fancied there was something particularly promising about me, which
made them pick me out from all the rest, and send me on their
errands. I was letter-carrier, messenger, and chapel-clcrk. As a
token of their gratitude, they undertook to teach me Latin ; but
their mode of tuition waa so harsh, and their discipline so severe,
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 656
though I was a sort of pet with them, that, not being able to stand
it longer, I ran away one morning while out on an errand, and, so
far from returning to the hospital, got out of Toledo through the
suburbs on the Seville side.
" Though I had not then completed my ninth year, I already felt
the pleasure of being free, and master of my own actions. I was
without money and without food. No matter ! I had no lessons to
say by heart, no themes to hammer out. After having pushed on
for two hours, my little legs began to refuse their office. I had
never before made so long a trip. It became necessary to stop and
take some rest. I sat myself down at the foot of a tree close by the
highway ; there, by way of amusement, I took my grammar out of
my pocket, and began conning it over by way of a joke ; but at
length, coming to recollect the raps on the knuckles and the casti-
gations on the more classical seat of punishment which it had cost
me, I tore it leaf by leaf with an apostrophe of angry import. * Ah I
you odious thing of a book ! you shall never make me shed tears
any more.' While I was assuaging my vindictive spirit by strewing
the ground about me with declensions and conjugations, there
passed that way a hermit with a white beard, with a large pair of
spectacles on his nose, and altogether an outside of much sanctity.
He came up to me, and if I was an object of speculation to him, he
was no less so to me. ' My little man,' said he, with a smile, ' it
should seem as if we had both taken a sudden liking to each other,
and in that case we cannot do better than to live together in my
hermitage, which is not two hundred yards distant.' ' Your most
obedient for that,' answered I, pertly enough ; ' I have not the least
desire to turn hermit.' At this answer the good old man set up a
roar of laughter, and said, with a kind embrace, ' You must not be
frightened at my dress ; if it is not becoming, it is useful ; it gives
me my title to a charming retreat, and to the good will of the
neighboring villages, whose inhabitants love, or rather idolize me.
Come this way, and I will clothe you in a jacket of the same stuff
as mine. If you think well of it, you shall share with me the
pleasures of the life I lead ; and if it does not hit your fancy, you
shall not only be at liberty to leave me, but you may depend on it
that in the event of our parting, I shall not fail to do something
handsome by you.'
" I suffered myself to be persuaded, and followed the old hermit,
who put several questions to me, which I answered with a truth-
telling simplicity not always to be found in a more advanced stage
of morality. On our arrival at the hermitage, he set some fruit
before me, which I devoured, having eaten notliing all day but a
slice of dry bread, on which I had breakfasted at the hospital in the
556 ABVENTVRES OF GIL BLAS.
morning. The recluse, seeing me play so good a part with my jaws,
said, * Courage, my good boy ! do not spare my fruit ; there is plenty
of it, Heaven be praised I I have not brought you hither to starve
you.' And indeed that was true enough, for an hour after our
coming in, he kindled a fire, put a leg of mutton down to roast, and,
while I turned the spit, laid a small table for himself and me, with
a very dirty napkin upon it.
" When the meat was done enough, he took it up, and cut some
slices for our supper, which was no dry bargain, since we quaffed a
delicious wine, of which he had laid in ample store. ' Well, my
chicken,' said he, as he rose from the table, ' are you satisfied with
my style of living ? You see how we shall fare every day, if you fix
your quarters here. Then, with respect to liberty, you shall do just
as you please in this hermitage. All I require of you is to accom-
pany me whenever I go begging to the neighboring villages ; you
will be of use in driving an ass laden with two panniers, which the
charitable peasants usually fill with eggs, bread, meat, and fish. I
ask no more than that,' * I will do,' said I, ' whatever you desire,
provided you will not oblige me to learn Latin.' Friar Chrysos-
tom — for that was the old hermit's name — could not help smiling at
my schoolboy frowardness, and assured me once more that he
should not pretend to interfere either with my studies or my inclin-
ations.
" On the very next day we went on a foraging party with the don-
key, which I led Tby the halter. We made a profitable gleaning ;
for all the farmers took a pleasure in throwing somewhat into our
panniers. One chucked in an uncut loaf, another a large piece of
bacon ; here a goose, there a pair of giblets, and a partridge to
crown the whole. But without entering further into particulars, we
carried home provender enough for a week ; and hence you may
infer the esteem and friendship in which the country people held
the holy man. It is true that he was a great blessing to the neigh-
borhood : his advice was always at their service when they came to
consult him : he restored peace where discord had reigned in fam-
ilies, and made up matches for the daughters ; he had a nostrum
for almost any disease you could mention, with an assortment of
pious rituals to avert the curse of barrenness.
" Hence you perceive that I was in no danger of starving in my
hermitage. My lodging, too, was none of the worst ; stretched on
good fresh straw, with a cushion of ratteen under my head, and a
coverlet over me of the same stuff, I made but one nap of it all
night. Brother Chrysostom, who had promised me a hermit's
dress, made up an old gown of his own for me, and called me little
brother Scipio. No sooner did I appear in my religious uniform
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. ^ 557
than the ass's back suffered for my genteel appearance in the eyes
of the villagers. It was who should give most to the little brother !
so much were they delighted with his spruce figure.
" The easy, slothful life I led with the old hermit could not be
very revolting to a boy of my age. On the contrary, it suited my
taste so exactly, that I should have continued it to this time, but
that the fates and destinies were weaving a more complicated tissue
for my future years. It was cast in the figure of my nativity,
early to rouse myself from the effeminacy of a religious life, and to
take leave of brother Chrysostom after the following manner.
" I often observed the old man at work upon his pillow, unsewing
and sewing it up again ; and one day, I saw him put in some money.
This circumstance excited a tingling curiosity, which I promised
myself to satisfy the first time he went to Toledo, as he generally
did once a week. I waited impatiently for the day, but as yet,
without any other motive than the mere desire of prying. At last
the good man went his way, and I unpicked his pillow, where I
found, among the stuffing, the amount of about fifty crowns in all
sorts of coin.
" This treasure must have accumulated from the gratitude of the
peasantry, whom the hermit had cured by his nostrums, and of their
wives, who had become pregnant by virtue of his spiritual inter-
ference. But however it got there, I no sooner set my eyes on the
money, which might be mine without any one near me to say nay,
than the gypsy voice of nature and pedigree spoke within me. An
inextinguishable itch of pilfering tingled in my veins, and proved
that we come into the world with the mark of our descent, and with
our characters about us. I yielded to the temptatiori without a
struggle, tied up my booty in a canvas bag where we kept our
combs and night-caps; then, having laid aside the hermit's and
resumed my foundling's dress, got clear off from the hermitage, and
hugged my bag as though it had contained the boundless treasure
of the Indies.
" You have heard my first exploit," continued Scipio, "and I doubt
not but you will expect a succession of similar practices. Your an-
ticipations will not be disappointed ; for there are many such
evidences of genius behind, before I come to those of my actions
which prove me good as well as clever ; but I shall come to them,
and you will be convinced by the sequel, that a scoundrel bom
may be licked into virtue, as the cub of a bear into shape.
" Child as I was, I knew better than to take the Toledo road ; it
would have been exposing myself to the hazard of meeting friar
Chrysostom, who would have balanced accounts with me on a very
thriftless principle. I therefore travelled in another direction, lead-
558 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
ing to the village of Galves, where I stopped at an inn kept by a
landlady who was a widow of forty, and hung out the bunch of
grapes to a very good purpose. This good woman no sooner saw
me, than, judging by my dress that I must be a truant from the
orphan school, she asked who I was and whither I was going. I
answered that, having lost ray father and mother, I was looking for
a place. ' Can you read, my dear ?' said she. I assured her that I
could read, and write, too, with the best of them. In point of fact,
I could just form my letters, and join them so as to look a little
like writing ; and that was clerkship enough for a village pothouse.
* Then I will take you into my service,' replied the hostess. * You
may earn your board easily enough by scoring up the customers and
keeping my ledger. I shall give you no wages, because this inn is
frequented by very genteel company, who never forget the waiters.
You may reckon upon very considerable perquisites.'
" I clinched the bargain, reserving to myself, as you may suppose,
the right of emigration whenever my abode at Galves should cease
to be pleasant. No sooner was I settled in my place, than a weight
lay heavy on my mind. I did not wish it to be known that I had
money ; and it was no easy matter to devise where it could be hid-
den, so as that what was sauce for the goose should not be sauce for
the gander. I was not yet well enough acquainted with the house
to trust the places obviously most proper for such a deposit. What
a source of embarrassment is great wealth I I determined, however,
on a corner of our granary under some straw ; and, believing it to
be safer there than anywhere else, made myself as easy about it as I
well could.
" The household consisted of three servants — a lubberly hostler,
a young Galician chambermaid, and myself. Each of us sponged
what we could upon travellers, whether on foot or on horseback. I
always came in for some small change, when the bill was paid.
Then the equestrians gave something to the hostler, for taking care
of their beasts ; but as for our female fellow-servant, the muleteers
who passed that way chucked her under the chin, and gave her
more crowns than we got farthings. I had no sooner realized a
penny, than away it went to the granary, and slept with its pre-
cursors ; so that the higher rose my heap, the more greedy did my
little heart become. Sometimes would I kiss the hallowed images
of my idolatry, and look at them with a devotional glow which few
worshippers feel but those whose religion is their gold.
" This inordinate passion sent me back and fore to gratify it at
least thirty times a day. I often met the landlady on the staircase.
She, being naturally of a suspicious temper, had a mind to find out
one day what could carry me every minute to the corn loft. She
ADVENTUBES OF GIL BLAS. 659
therefore went up, and began rummaging about everywhere, sup-
posing perhaps that it was my receptacle for articles purloined in
the house. Of course she did not forget to pull the straw about ;
and behold, there was my bag I Two hands in a dish and one in a
purse, was not one of her proverbs ; so that, finding the contents in
crowns and pistoles, she thought, or seemed to think, that the money
was lawfully and honestly hers. At least she had possession, and
that is nine points of the law, though scarcely one of honesty. But
to do the thing decently, after calling me little wretch, little rascal,
and so forth, she ordered the hostler, a fellow without any will but
hers, to give me a hearty flogging ; and then turned me out of doors,
with this salt eel for my breakfast, and a lady-like oath that no
light-fingered gentry should ever darken her doors. In vain did I
protest and vow that I had never wronged my mistress : she aflBrmed
the direct contrary, and her word would go further than mine at
any time. Thus were friar Chrysostom's savings transferred from
one thief to a greater thief in the thief-taker.
"I wept over the loss of my money as a father over the death of
his only son ; and though my tears could not bring back what I
had lost, they at least answered the purpose of exciting pity in some
people, who saw how bitterly they flowed, and among others in the
parson, who was accidentally going by. He seemed affiected by my
sad plight, and took me home with him. There, to gain my confi-
dence, or rather to pump me, he began soothing my sorrows. ' How
much this poor child is to be pitied !' said he. ' Is it any wonder if,
thrown upon the wide world at so tender an age, he has committed
a bad action ? Grown up men are not always proof against the flesh
or the devil.' Then, addressing me, ' Child, from what part of Spain
do you come, and who are your parents ? You have the look of
family about you. Open your heart to me confidentially, and de-
pend upon it, I never will desert you.'
" His reverence, by this kind and insinuating language, engaged
me by degrees to tell him all my history, without falsification or
reserve. I owned everything ; and thus he moralized on the leading
article of my confession : ' My little friend, though hermits ought
to lay up such treasures as neither force nor fraud can wrest from
them, that was no excuse for your taking the measure of punish-
ment into your own hands : by robbing brother Chrysostom, you
nevertheless sinned against that article of the decalogue which tells
you not to steal ; but I will engage to make the hostess return the
money, and will punctually remit it to the reverend friar at his
hermitage : you may therefore make your conscience perfectly easy
on that score.' Now, between ourselves, my conscience was per-
fectly callous to everything like compunction with respect to the
560 AD VEXTUHES OF GIL BIAS.
crime in question. The parson, who had his own ends to answer,
had not done with me yet. * My lad,' pursued he, ' I mean to take
you by the hand, and find a good berth for you. I shall send you
to-morrow morning, by the carrier, to my nephew, a canon of
Toledo. He will not refuse, at my request, to admit you upon his
establishment, where they live like so many sons of the church,
rosily, merrily, and fatly, upon the rents of his prebendal stall : you
will be perfectly comfortable there, take my word for it.'
" Patronage li|:e this gave me so much encouragement that I did
not throw away another thought either upon my bag or my whip-
ping. My mind was wholly occupied with the idea of living rosily,
merrily, and fatly, like a son of the church. The following day, at
breakfast time, there came, according to orders, a muleteer to the
parsonage, with two mules saddled and bridled. They helped me
to mount one, the muleteer flung his leg over the other, and we
trotted for Toledo. My fellow-traveller was a good, pleasant com-
panion, and desired nothing better than to indulge his humor at
the expense of his neighbor. 'My little volunteer,' said he, 'you
Jiave a good friend in his reverence, the minister of Galves. He
could not give you a better proof of his kindness than by placing
you with his nephew the canon, whom I have the honor of knowing,
far beyond all question of comparison, to be the cock of the chapter ;
and a hearty one he is. None of your lantern-jawed saints, with
Lent in his face, a cat-of-nine-tails on his back, and a cholera
morbus in his belly. No such thing ! Our doctor is rubicund in
the jowl, efflorescent on the nose, with a wicked eye at a bumper or
a girl ; militant against no earthly pleasure, but most addicted to
the good things of the table. You will be as snug there as a bug in
a blanket.'
"This hangman of a muleteer, perceiving with what exquisite
satisfaction I took in all this, went on tantalizing me with the joys
of an ecclesiastical life. He never dropped the subject. till we got
to the village of Obisa, and stopped there to refresh our mules.
Then, while bustling about the inn, he accidentally dropped a paper
from his pocket, which I was cunning enough to pick up without
his seeing me, and took an opportunity of reading while he was in
the stable. It was a letter addressed to the governors and superin-
tendents of the orphan school, conceived in these terms : —
" ' Gentlemen : I consider it as an act at once of charity and of
duty to send you back a little truant ; he seems a shrewd lad
enough, and may do very well with good looking after. By dint of
hard and frequent chastisement, I doubt not but you will ultimately
bring him to a sense of his own unworthiness and your benevolence*
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 661
May a blessing be vouchsafed on your pious and charitable labors
for the early extirpation of sin and wickedness.
'The Minister of Galves.'
" When I had finished reading this pleasant letter, which let me
into the good intentions of his reverence the rector, it required little
deliberation to determine what I was to do ; from the inn to the
banks of the Tagus, a space of three good miles, was but a hop,
step, and jump. Fear lent me wings to escape from the governors
of the foundling hospital, whither 1 was absolutely resolved never to
return, having formed principles of taste diametrically opposite to
their method of teaching the classics. I went into Toledo with as
light a heart as if I had known where to get my daily bread. To be
sure, it is a town of ways and means, where a man who can live by
his wits need never die of hunger. Scarcely had I reached the high
street when a w-ell-dressed gentleman, by whom I brushed, caught
me by the arm, saying, ' My little fellow, do you want a place ? You
are just such a smart lad as I was looking for.' ' And you are just
the master for my money,' answered I. 'Since that is the case,'
rejoined he, 'you are mine from this moment, and have only to fol-
low me,' which I did without asking any more questions.
" This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the name of
Don Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-furnished apartments.
He was by profession a blackleg, and the following was the nature
of our engagement. In the morning I got him as much tobacco a«
would fill five or six pipes ; brushed his clothes, and ran for a bar-
ber to shave him and trim his whiskers ; after which he made the
circle of the tennis-courts, whence he never returned home till
eleven or twelve at night. But every morning, at going out, he
gave me three reals for the expenses of the day, leaving me master
of my own time till ten o'clock in the evening, and provided I was
within doors by his return, all was well. He gave me a livery be-
sides, in which I looked like a little lackey of illicit love. I took
very kindly to my condition, and certainly could not have met with
any more congenial with my temper.
" Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly a month,
when my employer inquired whether I liked his ser\'ice, and on my
answering in the aflBrmative, ' Well, then,' resumed he, ' to-morrow
we shall set out for Seville, whither my concerns call me. You will
not be sorry to see the capital of Andalusia. " He that hath not
Seville seen," says the proverb, " Is no traveller, I ween." ' I engaged
at once to follow him all over the world. On that very day, the
Seville carrier fetched away a large trunk with my master's ward-
robe, and on the next morning we were on the road for Andalusia.
36
562 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
" Signor Don Abel was so lucky at play that he never lost but
when it was convenient; but then it was seldom convenient to stay
long in a place, because those who are losers always find out at last
that though chance is a dangerous antagonist, certainly it is a des-
perate one, and that accounted for our journey. On our arrival at
Seville, we took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed the
same mode of life as at Toledo. But my master found some diflfer-
ence between the two towns. The Seville tennis-courts could pro-
duce players equally in fortune's good graces with himself, so that
he sometimes came home a good deal out of humor. One morning, j
when he was biting the bridle for the loss of a hundred pistoles the I
day before, he asked why I had not carried his linen to the laun-
dress. I pleaded forgetfulness. Thereupon, flying into a passion,
he gave me half a dozen boxes on the ear, in such a style as to kindle
an illumination in my blinking eyes to which the glories of Solo-
mon's temple were no more to be compared than the torches in a
Candlemas procession to a rushlight. ' There is for you, you little
scoundrel !' said he ; ' take that, and learn to mind your business.
Must I be eternally at your heels to remind you of what you are to
do? Are your brains in your belly, and all your wits in your
grinders ? You are not a downright idiot. Then why not prevent
my wants and anticipate my orders ?' After this experimental lec-
ture, he went out for the day, leaving me in high dudgeon at a
reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the hostler, for such
a trifle as not getting up his things for the wash.
" I could never learn what happened to him a short time after at
a tennis-court, but one evening he came home in a terrible heat.
'Scipio,' said he, ' I am bent on going to Italy, and must embark the
day after to-morrow on board a vessel bound for Genoa. I have my
reasons for making this little excursion ; of course you will be glad
to attend me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of seeing the
loveliest country on the face of the earth.' My tongue gave con-
sent, but with a salvo in my heart, and a bargain with my revenge,
to give him the slip just at the moment of embarkation. This was
80 delightful a scheme, that I could not help imparting it to a bully
by profession, whom I met in the street. During my abode in
Seville, I had picked up some awkward acquaintance, and this was
one of the most ungainly. I told him how and why my ears had
been boxed, and then communicated my project of running away
from Don Abel just before the ship was to sail, begging to know
what he thought of the plan.
" My blufi" adviser puckered his eyebrows while he listened, and
fiddled with his fingers about his whiskers ; then, blaming my mas-
ter very seriously, ' My little hero,' said he, ' you are eternally dis-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 663
graced, and can never show your face again, if you sit down quietly
with so paltry a satisfaction as what you propose. To let Don Abel
go off by himself would be a poor revenge for wrongs like yours ;
the punishment should be proportioned to his crime. Let us fine
him to the full amount of his purse and effects, which we will share
like brothers after he is gone.' Now, it is to be noted that though
thieving fell in very naturally with the bent of my genius, the pro-
posal rather startled me, as the robbery was upon a large scale for
so young an apprentice.
" And yet the arch deceiver of my innocence found the means of
working me up to the perpetration, so that the result of our enter-
prise was as follows : This glorious ruffian, a tall, brawny fellow,
came in the evening about twilight to our lodging. I showed my
master's travelling trunk ready packed, and asked him wbether he
could carry so heavy a load upon his shoulders. ' So heavy as that,'
said he : ' show me where a transfer of property is to be made in my
favor, and I could run with Noah's ark to the top of Mount Ararat.'
To prove his words, he felt the trunk, flung it carelessly over his
back, and scampered downstairs. I followed nimbly; and we had
just got to the street door, when Don Abel, brought home in the nick
of time by the ascendency of his lucky stars, stood like an apparition,
to appall our guilty souls.
" ' Whither are you going with that trunk ?' said he. I was so
taken by surprise, that my assurance failed me ; and broad-shoulders,
finding that he had drawn a blank in the lottery, threw down his
booty, and took to his heels, rather than be troubled for an explana-
tion. ' Once more, whither are you going with that trunk ?' said
my master. ' Sir,' answered I, with all the honest simplicity of a
criminal pleading in arrest of judgment, ' I was going to put it on
board the vessel, that we might have the less to do to-morrow before
we embark ourselves.' ' Indeed ! Then you know,' retorted he, * in
what ship 1 have taken my passage?' * No, sir,' replied I ; ' but
those who can talk Latin may always find their way to Rome: I
should have inquired at the port, and somebody would have informed
me.' At this explanation, which left his opinion where it found it,
he darted a furious glance at me. I thought, for all the world, he
was going to cuff me again about the head. ' Who ordered you,*
cried he, ' to take my trunk out of this house ?' ' You, your own
self,' said L * Can you possibly have forgotten how you rated me
but a few days ago? Did not you tell me, with a flea in my ear,
that you would have me prevent your wants, and do beforehand
from my own head whatever your service might require? Now, not
to be thrashed a second time for want of forethought, I was seeing
your trunk safe and soon enough on board.' On this the gamester,
564 ADVENTURES OF GIL EL AS.
finding that I had cut my teeth of wisdom sooner than suited his
purpose, turned me oif very coolly, saying, ' Go about your business,
Master Scipio, and speed as you may deserve. I do not like to play
with folks who are in the habit of revoking. Get out of my sight, or
I shall set your solfeggio in a crying key.'
" I spared him the trouble of twice telling me to go. Off I shot
like an arrow, for fear he should unfledge me by taking away my
livery. When distant enough to slacken my pace, I walked along the
streets, musing whither I might betake myself for a night's lodging,
with only two reals in my pocket. The gate at the archbishop's
palace at length stared me in the face ; and, as his grace's supper
was then dressing, a savory odor exhaled from the kitchens, impreg-
nating the gale with soup and sauce for a mile round. ' Ods hari-
cots and cutlets I' thought I ; * it would be no hard matter for me to
dispense with one of those little side dishes, which will be of no use
to the archbishop but to make out the figure of his table : nay, I
would be contented only just to dip in my four fingers and thumb,
and then to sup like a bear upon suckings. But how to accomplish
it ! Is there no way of bringing these choice morsels to a better test
than that of smell? And why not? Hunger, they say, will break
through stone walls.' On this idea did I set my wits to work ; and
by dint of conning over the subject, a stratagem struck me which set
my lungs as well as appetite in motion, just as the old carpenter kept
bawling, * I have found it,' like a madman, when he had hit the right
nail of his proposition on the head. I ran into the court of the palace,
and made the best of my way to the kitchens, calling out with all my
might, 'Help! help !' as if some assassin had been at my heels.
"At my reiterated cries. Master Diego, the archbishop's cook, ran
with three or four kitchen drudges to learn what was the matter;
and seeing only me, asked why I roared so loud. ' Ah, good sir,'
answered I, with every token of exquisite distress, ' for mercy's sake
and for St. Polycarp's, save me, I beseech you, from the fury of a
blusterer, who swears he will kill me.' * But where is this disturber
of the public peace?' cried Diego. 'You have no one to quarrel
with but yourself; for I do not see so much as a cat to spit at you.
Go your ways, my little man, and do not be afraid ; it is evidently
some wag who has been playing upon your cowardice for his diver-
sipn : but he knew better than to follow you within these walls, for
we would have cut his ears off at the least.' * No, no,' said I, ' it
was for no laughing matter that he ran after me. He is a noted foot-
pad, and meant to rob me ; I am certain that he is now waiting for
me at the corner of the street.' ' Then he may wait long enough,'
replied the knight of the iron spit; ' for you shall stay here till to-
morrow. You shall sup with us, and we will give you a bed.'
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 665
" I was out of my little wits with joy at the mention of these last
tidings ; and it was like the turnpike road to paradise after crossing
an Arabian desert, when, being led by Master Diego through the
kitchens, I there saw my lord archbishop's supper, and the stew-
pans in the last throes of parturition. There were fifteen account-
able souls — for I reckoned them up — in attendance on the labor;
but the litter of dishes far outnumbered the fecundity of Nature in
her most prolific mood : so much more gracious and bountiful is
Providence to the heads of the church in the indulgence of their
appetites than mindful of the worthless brute creation in the propa-
gation of its kind. Here it was, at the fountain head of prelacy,
inhaling an' atmosphere of gravy, instead of just snuffing the scent
as it lay upon the breeze, that I first shook hands with sensuality. I
had the honor of supping with the scullions, and of sleeping in their
room — an initiation of friendship so sincere and strong, that on the
following day, when I went to thank Master Diego for his goodness
in vouchsafing me a refuge, he said, 'Our kitchen lads have been
with me in a body, to declare how excessively delighted they are
with your manners, and to propose having you among them as a
fellow-servant. How should you, on your part, like to make one of
the society?' I answered that with such a feather in my cap, I
should be the vainest and the happiest of mortals. ' Then so be it,
my friend,' replied he ; ' consider yourself henceforth as a buttress
of the hierarchy.' With this invitation, he introduced me to the
major-domo, who thought he saw talent enough in me for a
turnspit.
" JTo sooner was I in possession of so honorable an office than
Master Diego, following the practice of cooks in great houses, who
pamper up their pretty dears in private with all sorts of good things,
selected me to supply a lady in the neighborhood with a regular
table of butcher's meat, poultry, and game. This good friend of
his was a widow on the right side of thirty, very pretty, very lively,
and to all appearance contenting herself with cupboard love for her
cook. His generous passion was not confined to furnishing her
with bread, meat, and garnish ; she drank her wine too, and the
archbishop was her wine-merchant.
" The improvement of my parts kept pace with that of my carnal
condition in his grace's palace, where I gave a specimen of rising
genius still ringing on the trump of fame at Seville. The pages
and some others of the household had a mind to get up a play on
my lord archbishop's birthday. They chose a popular Spanish
tragedy, and wanting a boy about my age to personate the young
King of Leon, cast me for the part. The major-domo, a great
spouter, undertook to train me for the stage, and, after a few lessons,
6G6 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
pronounced that I should not be the worst actor of the company.
His grace not wishing to starve so handsome a compliment to him-
self, no expense was spared in getting it up magnificently. The
largest hall in the palace was fitted up as a theatre, with appropri-
ate decorations. At the side scene there was a bed of turf, on which
I was to be discovered asleep, when the Moors were to rush in and
take me prisoner. When we had got so forward with our rehearsals
as to be sure of being ready by the time fixed, the archbishop sent
out cards of invitation to all the principal families in the city.
" At length the great, the important day arrived ; and each per-
former was big with the contrivance and adjustment of his dress.
Mine was brought by a tailor, accompanied by our major-domo,
who, after taking the trouble of drilling me at rehearsal, wished to
see justice done to my outward appearance. The tailor put on me
a rich robe of blue velvet, with hanging sleeves, gold lace, fringe,
and buttons: the major-domo himself crowned me with a paste-
board crown, studded with false diamonds and real pearls. More-
over, they gave me a sash of pink silk worked in silver; so that
every new ornament was like a quill-feather in the wing of a bird.
At last, about diisk, the play begun. The curtain drew up for my
soliloquy, the purport of which was to express, in a roundabout,
poetical way, that not being able to defend myself from the influ-
ence of sleep, I was going to lie down and take it as it came. To
suit the action to the word, I sidled off to the corner between the
flat and the wings, and squatted down on my bed of turf; but
instead of going to sleep, according to promise, I was hammering
upon the means of getting into the street, and running away with
my coronation finery. A little private staircase, leading under the
theatre into the lower saloon, seemed to furnish the probability of
success. I slid away slyly, while the audience were considering
some necessary question of the play, and ran down the staircase,
through the saloon to the door, calling out, ' Make way ! make way I
I must change my dress, and run up again in a moment !' They all
made a lane, for fear of hindering me ; so that in less than two
minutes I got clear out of the palace, under cover of the darkness,
and scampered to the house of my friend who saw gentlemen's
trunks safe on board.
" He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment ! But when I let
him into the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready to split his
sides. Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of his heart, because
he flattered himself with the hope of a pension on the King of
Leon's civil list, he wished me joy of so successful a first appear-
ance, and joined issue with the major-domo in the prognostic, that
with encouragement and practice I should turn out a first-rate actor.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 567
and make no little noise in the world. After we had diverted our-
selves for some time at the expense of my manager and audience,
I said to the bully, ' What shall we do with this magnificent dress ?'
' Do not make yourself uneasy about that,' answered he. ' I know
an honest broker, without an atom of curiosity in his composition,
who will buy or sell anything with any person, provided that he
gets the turn of the market upon the transaction. I will fetch him
to you to-morrow morning.' The knowing fellow was as good as
his word ; for he went out early the next day, leaving me in bed,
and returned two hours afterwards with the broker, carrying a yellow
bundle under his arm. 'My friend,' said he, 'give me leave to
introduce Signor Ybagnez of Segovia, who, in spite of the bad
example set him by the trade in general, trusts to fair dealing and
small profits for a moderate pittance and an unblemished character.
He will tell you to a fraction what the dress you want to part with
is really worth, and you may take his calculation as the balance of
justice between man and man.' ' Oh, yes 1 to a nicety,' said the
broker. ' Else wherefore live I in a Christian land, but to appraise
for my neighbor as for myself? To take a mean advantage never
was, thank heaven ! and at these years never shall be, imputed to
Ybagnez of Segovia. Let us look a little at those articles f You
are the seller ; I am the buyer I We have only to agree upon an
equitable price.' ' Here they are,' said the bully, pulling them out:
' now own the truth — was there ever anything more magnificent?
You do not often see such velvet: and then the trimming I' 'You
cannot say too much for it,' answered the salesman, examining the
suit with the prying eye of a dealer: 'it is of the very first quality.'
'And what think you of the pearls upon this crown ?' resumed my
friend. 'A little rounder,' observed Ybagnez, ' and there would be
no setting a price upon theml However, take them as they are, it
is a very fine set, and I do not want to find fault about trifles. Now,
your common run of appraisers, under my circumstances, would
affect to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them cheaper ;
one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer twenty
pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining with an upright,
downright man I I will give forty at a word ; take them or leave
them.'
" Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not have
burned his fingers; for the pearls alone would have fetched two
hundred anywhere. The bully, who went snacks, then said, ' Now
only look ! What a mercy it is to fall into the hands of a,man not
of this world ! Signor Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in com-
parison of his principles and his soul. He may die to-night, and
yet not be taken unprepared !' ' This is too much ! You make
568 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS.
me blush,' said the salesman of principle and soul ; ' but so far is
true, that my price is always fixed. Well, now, is it a bargain ?
The money down upon the nail, too !' ' Stop a moment,' answered
the bully ; ' my little friend must first try on the clothes you have
bought for him by my order . I am very much mistaken if they will
not just fit him.' The salesman then, untying his bundle, showed
me a second-hand suit of dark cloth with silver buttons. I got up,
and got into it ; too big for me every way ! but these gentlemen
could have sworn it had been made to my measure. Ybagnez put
it at ten pistoles ; and as he was an upright, downright man, of
fixed principle and soul, estimating money as dross in comparison
of integrity, his first price was of course his last. He therefore took
out his purse, and counted down thirty pistoles upon a table ; after
which he packed up the King of Leon's regalia, and went his-
way,
" When he was gone, the bully said, ' I am very well satisfied
with that broker.' And so he well might be ; for I am certain he
must have received at least a hundred pistoles as hush-money. But
there was no reason why the broker's benevolence should pay the
debts of my gratitude '• so he took half the money on the table,
without saying with your leave or by your leave, and suffered me to
pocket the remainder, with the following advice : ' My dear Scipio,
with that balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you get out of
this town as fast as you can ; for you may suppose that my lord
archbishop will ferret you out if you are above ground It would
grieve me to the heart if, after having risen so superior to the pre-
judice of honesty, you had the weakness to fall foul of what alone
keeps it afloat — the house of correction.' I answered that it was my
fixed purpose to make myself scarce at Seville, and accordingly,
after buying a hat and some shirts, I travelled through vineyards
and olive groves to the ancient city of Carmona ; and in three days
afterwards arrived at Cordova.
" I put up at an inn close by the market-place, giving myself out
for the heir of a good family at Toledo, travelling for his pleasure.
My appearance did not belie the story, and a few pistoles, which I
contrived carelessly to chink within the landlord's hearing, pinned
his faith upon my veracity. Probably my unfledged youth might
lead him to take me for some graceless little truant who had robbed
his parents and run away. But that was no concern of his : he
took the thing just qs I gave it him, for fear lest his curiosity should
clash with my continuance at his house. For six reals a day one
could live like a gentleman at this inn, where there was generally
a considerable concourse of company. About a dozen people sat
down at supper. It was whimsical enough ; but the whole party
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 569
plied their knives and forks without speaking a word, except one
man, who talked incessantly, right or wrong, and made up for the
silence of the rest by his eternal babble. He affected to be a wit,
to tell a good story, and took great pains to make the good folks
merry by his puns ; and accordingly they did laugh most inex-
tinguishably ; but it was at him, not with him,
" For my part I paid so little attention to the talk of this rattle,
that I should have got up from table without knowing what it waa
all about, if he had not brought it home to my business and my
bosom. 'Gentlemen,' cried he, just as supper was over, 'I have
kept my best story for the last; a very droll thing happened within
these few days at the archbishop of Seville's palace. I had it from
a young fellow of my acquaintance, who assures me that he was
present at the time.' These words made my heart jump up into my
throat, for I had no doubt of this being my exploit; and so it
turned out. This pleasant gentleman related the facts as they
actually happened, and even carried the adventure to its conclusion,
of which I was as yet ignorant; but now you shall be made as wise
as myself.
" No sooner had I absconded, than the Moors, who were, accord-
ing to the progress of the fable and the rising of the interest, to lay
violent hands on me, appeared upon the stage, for the fell purpose
of surprising me on my bed of turf, where the author had given
them reason to expect me fast asleep ; but when they thought they
were just going to capot the King of Leon, they found, to their
surprise, that both the king and the knave made a trick against
them. Here was a hole in the ballad ! The actors all lost their
cue ; some of them called me by name, others ran to look for me :
here is a fellow bawling as though his bellows would burst, there
stands another muttering to himself about the devil, just as if that
reptile could stand upright in such a presence ! The archbishop,
perceiving trouble and confusion to lord it behind the scenes, asked
what was the matter. At the sound of the prelate's voice, a page,
who was the fiddle of the piece, came to the front and spoke thus :
'My lord archbishop, ladies, and gentlemen! We are extremely
sorry to inform you, as players, but extremely glad, as men and
Christians, that the King of Leon is at present in no danger what-
ever of being taken prisoner by the Moors : he has adopted effectual
measures for the security of his royal person ; and to the royal
person, as liberty avails little without property, he has irrevocably
attached the crown, insignia, and robes.' 'And a happy deliverance
for himself and Christendom !' exclaimed the archbishop. ' He has
done perfectly right to escape from the enemies of our religion, and
to burst from the bonds in which their malice would have laid him.
570 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
By this time he has probably reached the confines of his kingdom.,
or may have entered the capital. May no unlucky accident have
retarded him on his journey 1 And that the sin of none such may
lie heavy on my conscience, I beg leave very positively to make my
pleasure known that he may proceed unmolested by any interrup-
tion from this quarter; I should be highly mortified, indeed, if his
majesty's pious endeavors were to be frustrated by the slightest in-
dignity from the ministers of that religion in whose cause he labors
and suffers.' The prelate, having thus declared his acquiescence in
the motives of my flight, ordered my part to be read, and the play
to be resumed.
CHAPTER XI.
CONTINUATION OF SCIPIO'S STORY.
*' OIO long as I had money in my purse, my landlord was cap in
>0 hand ; but the moment he began to suspect that the funds
were low, he became high and mighty, picked a German quarrel
with me, and one morning, before breakfast, begged it as a favor of
me to march out of his house. I followed his counsel as proudly as
you please, and betook me to a church belonging to the fathers of
St, Dominic, where, while mass was performing, an old beggar
accosted me on the usual topic of alms. I dropped some small
change into his hat, which was truly the orphan's mite, saying, at
the same time, ' My friend, remember in your prayers to mention a
situation for me; if your petition is heard with favor, it shall be
all the better for you ; hearty thanks and a handsome poundage !'
"At these words, the beggar surveyed me up and down, from
head to foot, and answered, in a grave tone, 'What place would
you wish to have?' 'I should like,' replied I, * to be a footman in
some family where I should do well.' He inquired whether the
matter pressed. ' With all possible importunity,' said I ; ' for un-
less I have the good luck to get settled very soon, the alternative
will be horrible ; death by the gripe of absolute famine, or a liveli-
hood in the ranks of your fraternity.' ' If the latter were, after all,
to be your lot,' resumed he, ' it certainly would be rather hard upon
you, who have not been brought up to our habits of life ; but, with
a little use and practice, you would prefer our condition to service,
which, partiality apart, is far less respectable than the beggar's
ADVENTURES OP GIL BLAS. 571
vocation. Nevertheless, since you like a menial occupation better
than leading a free and independent life like me, you shall have a
berth without more ado. Mean as my appearance is, you must not
measure my power by it. Meet me here at the same hour to-
morrow.'
" I took care to keep the appointment. Though at the spot before
the time, I had not long to wait before the beggar joined me, and
told me to follow him. I did so. He led me to a cellar not far
from the church, where he resided. We went in together, and
sitting down on a long bench, at least a hundred years the worse
for wear, the conversation took this turn on his part: 'A good
action,' as the proverb says, ' always meets with its reward ; you
gave me alms yesterday, and that has determined me to get you a
place, which shall be soon done, with a blessing on my endeavors.
I know an old Dominican, by name Father Alexis, a holy monk, a
ghostly confessor. I have the honor to do all his little odd jobs,
performing my task with so much discretion and good faith, that
he always lends his interest to me and my friends. I have spoken
to him about you, and in such terms as to prepossess him in your
favor. You may be introduced to his reverence whenever you
please.' •
" ' There is not a moment to be lost,' said I to the old beggar ;
' let us go to the good monk immediately.' The mendicant agreed,
and led me by the arm to Father Alexis, whom he found in his
room, hard at work, writing spiritual letters. He broke off to talk
with me. As it was the wish of the mendicant, he would do all in
his power to serve me. ' Having learned,' pursued he, ' that Signor
Balthasar Velasquez is in want of a footboy, I wrote to him this
morning on your behalf, and he just sent me for answer, that he
would take you without further inquiry on my recommendation.
This very day you may call on him from me ; he is one of my flock,
and my very good friend.' Thereupon the monk preached to me
for three-quarters of an hour on my moral and religious duties, and
how to fulfill them in conscience and honor. He enlarged princi-
pally on the obligation of serving Velasquez with diligence and
devotion, and then assured me that he would take care and keep
me in my place, provided my master had no very material fault to
find with me.
"After having thanked the holy person for his goodness towards
me, I left the convent with the beggar, who told me that Signor
Balthasar Velasquez was an old woollen-draper, but with much
simplicity and good nature in his character. ' I doubt not,' added
he, 'but you will be perfectly comfortable in his house.' I begged
to know his place of residence, and repaired thither immediately.
572 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
after promising to make my gratitude manifest as soon as I bad
taken root in my new soil. I went into a large shop, where two
fashionable young apprentices were walking up and down, prac-
ticing new grimaces against the entrance of the next customer. I
inquired whether their master was at home, saying that I wanted
to speak with him from Father Alexis. At that venerable name
they showed me into the counting-house, where their principal waa
turning over the ledger. I made a low bow, and coming up to him,
' Sir,' said I, ' Father Alexis ordered me to call here and offer my-
self as a servant to your honor.' ' Ah ! my smart lad,' answered he,
'you are heartily welcome. It is enough that the holy man sent
you ; and I shall take you in preference to three or four others who
have been recommended. It is a clear case ; your wages begin from
this day.'
"A very short time in the famil/ convinced me that the head of
it was just such a man as he had been described. In point of sim-
plicity he was everything that could be wished ; so exquisite a
subject for imposition, that it seemed next to an impossibility not
to exercise my craft upon such a handle. He had been a widower
four years, and had two children, a son of five-and-twenty and a
daughter in her eleventh year. The girl, brought up by a severe
duenna, under the spiritual conduct of Father Alexis, walked in the
high road of virtue ; but her brother, Gaspard Velasquez, though no
pains had been spared to make a good man of him, picked out for
himself all the vices of a young profligate. Sometimes he staid
away from home two or three days together ; and if, on his return,
his father ventured to remonstrate in the least against his proceed-
ings, Gaspard shut his mouth at once, with a haughty toss of the
head and an impertinent answer.
" ' Scipio,' said the old man one day, ' my son is the plague of my
life. He is over head and ears in all kinds of debauchery : and yet
there is no accounting for it, since his education was by no means
neglected. I have given him the. very best masters , and my friend
Father Alexis has done his utmost to train him up in the way he
should go ; but there was no breaking him in ; Master Gaspard ran
restive, and bolted into downright libertinism. You may perhaps
tell me that I spared the rod and spoiled the child. Quite other-
wise ! he was punished whenever the occasion seemed to demand
it; for, though good-tempered at bottom, I am not to be played
upon. I have even gone so far as to lock him up ; but that only
made him more headstrong than before. In short, he is one of
those impracticable beings on whom good example, good advice,
and a good horsewhip, are equally thrown away. If ever he
makes any figure in the world, it must be by a miracle from heaven.'
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 573
" Though* my heart was not grievously wrung by the sorrows of
this unhappy father, sympathy was expected from me, and I con-
doled with him accordingly. ' How much to be pitied you are, sirl'
said I. ' Virtues like yours deserve to have been handed down in
your progeny.' 'The event is quite the reverse, my good lad,' an-
swered he. ' Heaven heard my prayer, and gave me a son, but
converted the blessing into an affliction. Among other grounds of
complaint against Gaspard, I may tell you, in confidence, there is
one which gives me a great deal of uneasiness — a vast longing to rob
his old father, which he too often finds the means of satisfying, in
spite of all my caution. Your predecessor played into his hands,
and was turned away in consequence. As for you, I flatter myself
that my son will never be able to tamper with your honesty. You
will take my side of the question ; for doubtless Father Alexis has
given you your lesson on that head.' * You may rest assured of
that,' said I : ' for a good long hour did his reverence lecture me
on doing your will and pleasure without let or hinderance ; but I
can assure you there was no need of his saying anything about the
matter. I feel within myself a sort of call to serve you faithfully,
and I promise to do it with a zeal beyond all the temptations of the
world to shake or lessen.'
" He who only hears one side is in danger of deciding partially.
Young Velasquez, a mixture of the fribble and the braggart, con-
cluding ftom the cut of my countenance that I was made up of
mortal frailty, like my predecessoi-, drew me aside to a snug corner,
and there talked to me after this fashion : ' Now, mind what is said
to you, my dear fellow ; you may think I do not know that you are
set as a spy upon me by my father ; but take especial care how you
proceed, for I can assure you most sincerely that the office is not
without very considerable inconvenience to those who undertake it.
If ever I find that you tell tales out of school, I will give you such
a basting as you never had in your life ; but if you will make com-
mon cause with me, and a fool of my father, you may buy golden
returns of gratitude from your humble servant. Do you wish me to
deal with you upon the nail ? You shall go snacks in all that we
can squeeze out of the old fellow. You have only to take your
choice ; fall at once into the ranks of either father or son ; for
neutrals will come worst off, where the contending parties fight for
their existence.'
" ' Sir,' answered I, ' you make the shoe pinch very tight ; it is
self-evident that there is nothing for me to do but to enlist under
your banners, though in my conscience it seems like a crying sin to
betray Signor Velasquez.' ' That is no concern of yours,' rejoined
Gaspard; 'he is an old hunks, who wants to keep me under his
574 ADVENTURES OF OIL liLAS.
thumb ; a curmudgeon, who refuses me the rights of nature, in re-
fusing to stand to the expenses and repairs of my pleasures — for
pleasures are the necessaries of life at five-and-twenty. It is in
this point of view that you must form your opinion of my father.'
' If that is the case, so be it, sir,' said I ; * there is no standing
against so just a subject of complaint. I am quite at your service
to play second fiddle in all your laudable enterprises ; but let us
take especial care to conceal our good understanding, for fear your
faithful, humble servant should be kicked out of doors. It will not
be amiss, in my poor opinion, for you to affect an extreme antipathy
against me : some good round of abuse would have a very pretty
effect ; you need not be nice ; all the blackguard terms in the dic-
tionary will come at your call. Nay, a box on the ear now and
then, or a kick in the breech, will break no squares; on the con-
trary, the more you express your thorough dislike, the more Signor
Balthasar will pin his faith upon my sleeve. My cue will be, ap-
parently, to avoid speaking to you if possible. In waiting at table,
I shall perform my little attentions to you at arm's length ; and
whenever your honor may happen to be called over the coals by
the shopmen, you must not take it amiss if I abuse you worse than
a pickpocket.'
" ' As plain as chalk from cheese !' cried young Velasquez, at this
last hint; ' this is admirable, my friend ; at your early age it is uncom-
mon to meet with such a talent for intrigue; I consider it as a most
happy omen for my purpose. With such a performer to play up to
me, I flatter myself the old codger will be pinched to the bone and
left penniless.' ' You really carry your good opinion of me beyond
what my merit will justify,' said I ; 'some industry may fall to my
share, but not such exalted genius. But I shall do my utmost, and
if my honest endeavors fail, your candor must find excuses for my
imbecility.'
" It was not long before Gaspard had proof positive that I was to
a hair's-breadth the very man he wanted ; and the following was
precisely the first trick I played into his hand. Balthasar's strong
box was in the good man's chamber, by his bedside, a sort of oratory,
with a prayer-book always lying upon it. Every time I looked that
way, ray eyes glistened with hope and pleasure ; my heart chuckled
over the very idea of what might happen. ' Fair, sweet, cruel box,
will you forever be coy to my addresses? May I never experience
the heartfelt delight of possessing all your charms for better, for
worse ?' As I went into the room at pleasure, and only Gaspard
was warned off the premises, it happened one day that I watched
his father. The old gentleman, fancying himself unobserved of
human eye, after having opened his treasury and closed it fast
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 575
again, hid the key behind the hangings. I took an accurate obser-
vation of the place, and communicated the discovery to my young
master, who said, with an improving hug, 'Ah, my dear Scipio,
what glorious news you bring! Our fortune is made, my dear fel-
low. I will furnish you with wax ; you shall take the impression of
the key, and then our business is done. There will be no difficulty
in finding a benevolent locksmith in Cordova, where, to do the
place justice, there are as many rogues as in any part of Spain.'
" ' Well, but why,' said I to Gaspard, ' do you want a false key ?
We may find our account in the proper one.' * Yes,' answered he ;
' but I am afraid lest my father, through mistrust or whim, should
take a fancy to hiding it elsewhere, and the safest way is to have
one of our own.' I commended his precaution, and falling in with
all his principles, got ready for taking the impression of the key ;
this was efiected one morning early, while my old master was pay-
ing a visit to Father Alexis, with whom he for the most part held
very long conferences. I did not stop here, but availed myself of
the key to open the strong box, wherein an ample range of large and
small bags threw me into the most delightful perplexity imaginable.
I did not know which to choose, there was such a family likeness
among them ; nevertheless, as the fear of being caught did not
allow of any long deliberation, I laid hands hap-hazard on the
largest. Then, locking the box carefully, and putting the key back
again behind the hangings, I got away out of the chamber with my
booty, and hid it under my bed, in a small closet where I lay.
"Having performed this exploit so successfully, I ran back as
fast as my legs would carry me to young Velasquez, who was. wait-
ing at a house where he had given me notice to meet him, and hia
delight was extreme at the recital of what I had just done. He was
so fully satisfied with me as to lavish caresses without number, and
to offer me thrice, in the fullness of his heart, half the contents of
the bag, which I did thrice refuse. 'No, no, sir,' said I; 'this first
bag is yours, and yours only ; apply it to your own uses and occa-
sions. I shall return forthwith to the strong box, where, as our
lucky stars have contrived it, there is money enough for both of us.'
Accordingly, three days afterwards I carried off" a second bag, con-
taining, like the first, five hundred crowns, of which I would only
handle the fourth part, let Gaspard be as pressing as he pleased to
force upon me a brotherly division, share and share alike.
" As soon as this young man found himself so flush of money,
and consequently in a condition to gratify his hankering after
women and play, he gave himself up entirely to the devices of his
own imagination ; nay, his evil genius pursued him so far as to
make him fall desperately in love with one of those female harpie«
676 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
who devour without remorse or intermission, and swallow up the
largest fortunes. His disbursements at lier iustigation were fright-
ful, and thus it became necessary for me to pay so many visits to the
strong box that old Velasquez at length found out that he had been
robbed. * Scipio,' said he one morning, ' I must give you a piece of
information ; some one robs me, my friend ; my strong box has been
opened ; several bags have been taken put : that is a certain fact.
Whom ought I to accuse of this theft? or, rather, who else but niy
son can have committed it ? Gaspard must have got by stealth into
my chamber, or else you yourself must have played booty with him,
for I am tempted to believe that you are in league with him, though
to outward appearance you do not set up your horses together. And
yet I am unwilling to harbor that suspicion, because Father Alexis
undertook to answer for your honesty.' I gave him to understand
that, by the blessing of Heaven on a good natural disposition, my
neighbors' goods had no temptation in my sight ; and I so happily
suited the action to the lie, and the lie to the action, that my judge
pronounced a verdict of acquittal on the evidence of grimace and
hypocrisy.
" Accordingly the old man dropped the subject ; but for all that,
there was a general misgiving \n his breast, and it would sometimes
light upon me. Taking precautions, therefore, against our further
attacks, he had a new lock put to his strong box, and always carried
the key in his pocket. By these means, an embargo being laid on
our traffic with the bags, we looked excessively foolish, especially
Gaspard, who, being unable any longer to keep his nymph in her
usual style, knew very well that he was likely to be tossed out of
her window. He had, however, invention enough to devise an ex-
pedient for keeping his head above water a few days longer, and
that was neither more nor less than to get into his clutches, in the
form of a loan, my dividend on the joint stock of the strong box. I
refunded to the last farthing ; and this restitution, it is to be hoped,
may be set off as an anticipated act of justice to the old draper, in
the person of his heir.
"The young man, having exhausted this scanty supply, and
desperate of any other, fell into a deep melancholy, and into ulti-
mate derangement. He no longer looked on his father in any
other light than as the bane of his life. His frenzy broke out into
the most dreadful projects ; so that, without listening to the voice
of consanguinity or nature, the wretch conceived the impious design
of poisoning him. He was not content with making me privy to
the atrocious design, but even proposed to render me the instru-
ment of parricide. At the very thought, my blood ran cold within
me. * Sir/ said I, ' is it possible that you are so rejected of Heaven
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 577
as to have formed this horrid plot? What! is it in your nature to
murder the author of your existence? Shall Spain, the favored
abode of the Christian faith, bear witness to the commission of a
crime at the first blush of which transatlantic savages would recoil
with horror? No, my dear master,' added I, throwing myself on
my knees, ' np, you will not be guilty of an action which would
raise the hand of all mankind against you, and be overtaken by an
infamous punishment.'
" I pressed many arguments beside on Gaspard, to dissuade him
from so fearful an enterprise. How the deuce I came by all the
moral and religious topics which I brought to act against the
fortress of his despair, is more than I can account for ; but it is
certain that I preached like a doctor of Salamanca, though a mere
stripling, born of a gypsy fortune-teller. And yet it M'as to no
purpose that I suggested the duty of communing with his own
better resolutions, and stoutly wrestling with the fiend who was
lying in wait for his immortal soul ; my pious eloquence was dissi-
pated into air. His head hung sullenly on his bosom, and his
tongue uttered no sound, in answer to all my mollifying exhorta-
tions, so that there was every reason to conclude that he would not
swerve from his purpose.
"Hereupon, taking my own measures, I requested a private
interview with my old master; and being closeted with him, 'Sir,'
said I, 'allow me to throw myself at your feet, and to implore your
pity.' In pathetic accord with my moving accents, I prostrated
myself before him, with my face all bathed in tears. The merchant,
surprised at what he saw and heard, asked the cause of my distress.
' Remorse of conscience and repentance,' answered I ; ' but neither
repentance nor remorse can ever wash out my guilt. I have been
weak enough to give ear to your son, and to be his accomplice
in robbing you.' To this confession I added a sincere acknowl-
edgment of all that had happened, with the particulars of my late
conversation with Gaspard, whose design I laid open without the
least reserve.
" Bad as was the opinion which old Velasquez entertained of his
•on, he could scarcely believe his ears. Nevertheless, finding no
good reason to distrust the truth of my account, ' Scipio,' said he,
raising me from the ground, where I had till now been prostrate at
his feet, ' I forgive you in consideration of the important notice you
have communicated. Gaspard !' pursued he, raising his voice up
to the loudness of anguish, 'does Gaspard aim a blow at my life?
Ah! ungrateful son, unnatural monster! better thou hadst never
been born, or stifled at thy biith, than to have been reared for the
destruction of thy father 1 What plea, what object, what palliation
37
578 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
of the atrocious deed ? I furnished thee annually with a reason-
able allowance for thy pleasures, and what wouldst thou have
more? Must I have drained my fortune to the dregs to support
thee in thy extravagance?' Having vented his feelings in this
bitter apostrophe, he enjoined secrecy on me, and told me to leave
him alone, while he considered how to act in so delicate a con-
juncture.
" I was very anxious to know what resolution this unhappy
father would take, when on that very day he sent for Gaspard, and
addressed him thus, without betraying the inward emotions of his
heart : ' My son, I have received a letter from Merida, purporting
that if you are disposed to marry, you may make a match with a
very fine girl of fifteen, with a handsome fortune in her pocket. If
you have not forsworn that happy and holy estate, we will set out
to-morrow morning by daybreak for Merida . you will see the lady
in question, and if she hits your fancy, the business may soon be
settled.' Gaspard, pricking up his ears at a handsome fortune, and
already fingering the cash by anticipation, answered unhesitatingly
that he was ready to undertake the journey ; and accordingly they
departed the following day at sunrise, without attendants, mounted
on good mules.
" Having reached the mountains of Fesira, in a delightful spot
for the operations of banditti, but terror-stirring to the timid souls
of travellers, Balthasar dismounted, and desired his son to do like-
wise. The young man obeyed, but expressed his surprise at such
a requisition in so lonely a place. 'I will tell you the reason
presently,' answered the old man, darting at him a look of mingled
grief and anger : ' we are not going to Merida ; and the alleged
courtship was only an invention of mine, for the purpose of drawing
you hither. I am not ignorant, ungrateful and unnatural son, I am
not uninformed of your meditated crime. I am aware that a poison,
prepared by your hands, was to have been administered to me ; but
mad as you are, could it enter into your contemplation that my life
could have been invaded with impunity by such means? How
fatally mistaken ! Your crime would soon have been detected, and
you would have perished under the hands of the executioner^
There is a safer way of glutting your fell malice without exposing
yourself to an ignominious death ; we are here without witnesses,
and in a place where daily murders are perpetrated ; since you are
BO thirsty after my blood, plunge your dagger into my bosom : the
assassination will naturally be laid at the door of some banditti.'
After these words, Balthasar, laying his breast bare, and pointing
to his heart, ended with this challenge: 'Here, Gaspard, strike
deep enough, strike home ; make me pay that forfeit for having en-
ADVENTVBES OF GIL BIAS. 579
gendered such a disgrace to human nature, and no more than what
is due to so monstrous a production.'
" Young Velasquez, struck by his reproach as by a thunderbolt,
far from pleading in his own justification, fell instantly lifeless at
his father's feet. The good old man, hailing the germ of repentance
in this unfeigned testimony of shame, could not help yielding to
paternal weakness ; he made all possible haste to give his assist-
ance ; but Gaspard had no sooner recovered the use of his senses,
than, unable to stand in the presence of a father so justly offended,
he made an effort to raise himself from the ground, then sprang
upon his mule, and galloped out of sight without saying one word.
Balthasar suffered him to take his own course, and returned to Cor-
dova, little doubting but conscience would play its part in revenging
his wrongs. Six months afterwards it appeared that the culprit
had thrown himself into the Carthusian convent at Seville, there to
pass the remnant of his days in penance.
CHAPTER XII.
CONCLUSION OP SCIPIO'S STOKY.
" |)AD example sometimes produces the converse of itself. The
D behavior of young Velasquez made me think seriously of
my own predicament. I began to wrestle with my thievish propen-
sities, and to live like one of the better sort. A confirmed habit of
pouncing upon money wherever I could get it had been contracted
by such a long succession of individual acts that it was no easy
matter to say where it should stop. And yet I was in hopes to
accomplish my own reformation, under the idea that to become
virtuous, a man had nothing to do but to contract the desire of
being so. I therefore undertook this great work, and Heaven
seemed to smile upon my efforts. I left off eyeing the old draper's
strong box with the carnal regard of avaricious longing: nay, I
verily believe that, if it had depended on my own will and pleasure
to have turned over the contents to my own use, I should have
abstained from the crime of picking and stealing. It must, how-
ever, be admitted that it would have been an unadvisable measure
to tempt my new-bom integrity with meats too strong for its sto-
mach ; and Velasquez was nurse enough to keep me on » proper
diet.
580 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
" Don Manriquez de Medrano, a young gentleman, knight of
Alcantara, was in the habit of coming backwards and forwards to
our house. He was a customer, one of our principal in point of
rank, if not punctual in point of pay. I had the happiness to find
favor with this knight, who never met me without that sort of
notice which encouraged conversation, and with that conversation
he appeared always to be very much pleased. 'Scipio,' said ho,
one day, ' if I had a footman of your kidney, it would be as good
as a fortune to me ; and if you were not in the service of a man
who stands so high in luy regards, I should make no scruple about
enticing you away.' ' Sir,' answered I, ' you would have very little
trouble in succeeding ; for I am distractedly partial to people of
fashion ; it is ray weak side ; their free and easy manners fascinate
me to the extreme of folly.' 'That being the case,' replied Don
Manriquez, * I will at once beg Signor Balthasar to turn you over
from his household to mine : he will scarcely refuse me such a re-
quest.' Accordingly Velasquez was kind and complying, with so
much the less violence to his own private feelings, as there seemed
no reason to think that if a man parted with one knavish servant,
he might not easily get another in his place. To me the change
was all for the better, since a tradesman's service appeared but a
beggarly condition in comparison with the office of own man to a
knight of Alcantara,
" To draw a faithful likeness of my new master, I must describe
him as a gentleman possessing every requisite of person, figure,
manners, and disposition. Nor was that all ; for his courage and
honor were equal to his other qualities : the goods of fortune were
the only good things he wanted ; but being the younger son of a
family more distinguished by descent than opulence, he was obliged
to draw for his expenses on an old aunt living at Toledo, who loved
him as her own child, and administered to his occasions with affec-
tionate liberality. He was always well dressed, and everywhere
well received. He visited the principal ladies in the city, and
among others the Marchioness of Almenara. She was a widow of
seventy-two, but the centre of attraction to all the fashionable
society of Cordova, by the elegance of her manners and the spright-
liness of her conversation : men as well as women laid themselves
out for an introduction, because her parties conferred at once on
the frequenters the patent of good company.
"My master was one of that lady's most assiduous courtiers.
After leaving her one evening, his spirits seemed to be more ele-
vated than was natural to him. 'Sir,' said I, 'you are evidently in
a good deal of agitation ; may your faithful servant ask on what
account ? Has anytiiing happened out of the common way ?' The
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 581
young gallant smiled at so home a question, and owned candidly
that he had just been engaged in a serious conversation with the
Marchioness of Almenara. * I will lay a wager,' said I, laughing
outright, * that this moppet of threescore and ten, this girl in her
second childhood, has been unfolding to you all the secret move-
ments of a tender, susceptible heart.' ' Do not make a jest of it,'
answered he ; ' for the fact is, my friend, that the marchioness is
seriously in love with me. She told me that the narrowness of my
circumstances was as well known to her as the nobility of my birth ;
that she had taken a liking to me, and was determined to place me
at my ease by marriage, since she could not decently lay her fortune
at my feet on any other terms. That this marriage would expose
her to public ridicule, she professed to have considered ; that scandal
would be busy at her expense ; in short, that she should pass for an
old fool with an ambitious eye and a lickerish constitution. No
matter for that ! She was not to be awed from the career of her
humor by quips and sentences : her only alarm was, lest I should
either make sport of her intentions, or torment her more grievously
by my aversion.
" ' Such,' continued the knight, ' was the substance of the mar-
chioness's declaration, and I am the more astonished at it because
she is the most prudent and sensible woman in Cordova ; wherefore
I answered by expressing my surprise at her honoring me with the
offer of her hand, since she had hitherto persisted in her resolution of
remaining in a state of widowhood. To this she replied that, having
a considerable fortune, it would give her pleasure to share it in her
lifetime with a man of honor to whom she was attached.' ' To all
appearance, then,' rejoined I, ' you have made up your mind to take
a lover's leap.' 'Can you doubt about that?' answered he. 'The
marchioness is immensely rich, with excellent qualities both of
head and heart. It would be the extreme of folly and fastidious-
ness to let so advantageous a settlement slip through my fingers.'
" I entirely approved my master's purpose of profiting by so fine
an opportunity to make his fortune, and even advised him to bring
the matter to a short issue, for fear of a change in the wind. Hap-
pily the lady had the business more at heart than myself; her
orders were given so effectually that the necessary forms and cere-
monies were soon got over. When it became known in Cordova
that the old Marchioness of Almenara was getting herself ready to
be the bride of young Don Manriquez de Medrano, the wits began
breaking their odd quirks and remnants in derision of the widow ;
but though she heard her own detractions, she did not put them to
mending; the town might talk as they pleased; for when she said
she would die a widow, she did not think to live till she were mar-
582 ADVENTURES OF QIL BLAS.
ried. The wedding was solemnized with a publicity and splendor
which furnished fresh food for evil tongues. ' The bride,' said they,
' might at least have had the modesty to dispense with noise and
ostentation, so unbecoming in an old widow who marries a young
husband.'
" The marchioness, far enough from yielding to the suggestions of
shame at her own inconsistency, or the disparity of their ages,
yielded herself up without constraint to the expression of the most
lively joy. She gave a grand concert and supper, with a ball after-
wards, and invited all the principal families in Cordova. Just
before the close of the ball, the new-married couple disappeared,
and were shown to an apartment, where, with no other witnesses
but her own maid and myself, she spoke to my master in these
terms : ' Don Manriquez, this is your apartment ; mine is in another
part of the house : we will pass the night in separate rooms, and
will live together by day like mother and son.' At first the knight
did not know what to make of this ; he thought that the lady was
only trying his temper, as if her coldness must be wooed to kindness,
and her love, like her pardon, not unsought, be won. Imagining,
therefore, that good manners required, at least, the show of passion,
he made his advances, and offered, according to the laws of amorous
suit enacted in such cases, to assist in the disencumbering duties of
her toilet ; but, so far from allowing him to interfere with the pro-
vince of her servant, she pushed him back with a serious air, saying,
'Hold, Don Manriquez; if you take me for one of those sweet-
toothed old women who marry a second time from mere incontinence
you do me a manifest injustice : my proposals were not fraught with
conditions of hard service as the tenure of our nuptial contract ; the
gift of my heart was unmixed with sensual dross, and your gratitude
is only drawn upon for returns of pure and platonic friendship.'
After this explanation, she left my master and me in our apartment
and withdrew to her own with her attendant, forbidding the bride-
groom, in the most positive manner, to attempt retiring with her.
" After her departure, it was some time before we recovered from
our surprise at what we had just heard. ' Scipio,' said my master,
' could you ever have believed that the marchioness would have
talked in such a strain ? What think you of so philosophic a bride?'
'I think, sir,' answered I, 'that she is a phoenix among the brood of
hymen. It is for all the world like a good living without parochial
duties.' ' For my part,' replied Don Manriquez, ' there is nothing
so much to my taste as a wife of modest pretensions ; and I mean to
make her amends for the trophy she has raised to unadulterated
esteem by all the delicate attentions in my power to pay.' We kept
up the subject of the lady's moderation till it was full time to sepa-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 583
rate. My quarters were fixed in an ante-room with a bookcase bed-
stead ; my master's in an elegant bed-chamber with every appurte-
nance except one : but however necessary it might be to play the
disappointed bridegroom, I am much mistaken if in the bottom of
his soul he was half so much afraid of^leeping by himself as of being
encumbered with a bedfellow.
" The rejoicings began again on the following day, and the bride
was so jocund on the occasion that the bolts of the fools among her
visitors were not soon shot. She was the first to laugh at all their
pointless jokes ; nay, she even set the little wits to work, by giving
them an example of pleasantry, which they weris very little able to
follow. The happy man, on his part, seemed to be little less happy
than his partner ; and one would have sworn, judging by the glance
of satisfaction which accompanied his language and deportment,
that he liked mutton better than lamb. This well-matched pair
had a second conversation in the evening ; and then it was decided
that, without interfering in the least with one another, they should
live together just on the same footing as they had lived before mar-
riage. At all events, much credit must be given to Don Manriquez
on one account : he did, from delicate consideration towards his
wife, what few husbands would have done under his circumstances,
for he discarded a little seamstress of whom he was very fond, and
who was very fond of him, because he did not choose to keep up a
connection insulting to the feelings of a lady so studious of his.
" While he was furnishing such unusual testimonies of gratitude
to his elderly benefactress, she overpaid and doubly paid her debt
of obligation, even without diving into its nature or extent. She
gave him the master key of her strong box, which was better pro-
vided than that of Velasquez. Though she had reduced her estab-
lishment during widowhood, it was now replaced upon the same
footing as in the lifetime of her first husband ; the complement of
household servants was enlarged ; the stud and equipages were in
the very first style ; in a word, by her generosity and kindness, the
most beggarly knight belonging to the order of Alcantara became
the most moneyed member of the fraternity. You may perhaps be
disposed to ask me how much I was in pocket by all that ; and my
answer is, fifty pistoles from my mistress, and a hundred from my
master, who, moreover, appointed me his secretary, with a salary of
four hundred crowns ; nay, his confidence was so unbounded, that I
was fixed on to fill the office of treasurer."
" Treasurer !" cried I, interrupting Scipio at the very idea, and
bursting into an immoderate fit of laughter. " Yes, sir," replied he,
with a cool, unflinching seriousness; "you are perfectly right —
treasurer was the word ; and I may venture to say that the duties
584 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
of the office were executed without the slightest occasion for a com-
mittee of inquiry. True it is that the bahmce may be somewhat
against me, for I was always in the habit of overdrawing my wages;
and as the firm was dissolved somewhat suddenly, it is by no means
impossible that the balance of my cash account might be on the
wrong side ; but, at all events, it was my last slip ; and since that
time my ways have been ways of uprightness and honesty.
"Thus was I," continued this son of a gypsy, "secretary and
treasurer to Don Manriquez, who, to all appearance, was as happy
in me as I in him, when he received a letter from Toledo, announc-
ing that his aunt, Donna Theodora Moscoso, was on her last legs.
He was so much affected by the news as to set out instantly and pay
his duty to that lady, who had been more than a mother to him for
several years. I attended him on the journey with only two under-
servants ; we were all mounted on the best horses in the stable, and
reached Toledo without loss of time, where we found Donna Theo-
dora in a state to warrant our hopes that she would not at present
weigh anchor on her outward-bound voyage; and, in fact, our judg-
ment on her case, though point blank in contradiction to that of an
old physician who attended her, proved by the event that we knew
at least as much of the matter as he did.
" While the health of our venerable relative was improving from
day to day, less, perhaps, from the effect of the prescriptions than in
consequence of her dear nephew's presence, your worthy friend the
treasurer passed his time in the pleasantest manner possible, with
some young people whose acquaintance was admirably calculated
to ventilate the confined cash in his pocket. Sometimes they en^
ticed me to the tennis-court, and took me in for a game : on those
occasions, not being quite so steady a player as my master Don Abel,
I lost much oftener than I won. By degrees play became a passion
with me ; and if the taste had been suffered to gain complete pos-
session, it would doubtless have laid me under the necessity of
drawing bills of accommodation on the family bank ; but happily
love stepped in, and saved the credit both of the bank and my prin-
ciples. One day, passing along near the church of the Epiphany, I
espied, through a lattice with the drapery drawn up, a young girl,
who might well be called a thing divine, for nothing natural was
ever seen so lovely, I would lay on my compliment still thicker,
if words were not wanting to express the effect of her first appear-
ance upon my mind. I set my wits to work, and by dint of diligent
inquiry, learned that her name was Beatrice, and that she was
waiting-maid to Donna Julia, younger daughter of the Count de
Polan."
Beatrice broke in upon the thread of Scipio's story by laughing
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 585
immoderately ; then, directing her speech to my wife, " Charming
Autonia," said she, "do but just look at me, I beseech you, and then
say truly whether I could be likened to a thing divine," " You
might at that time, to my enamored sight," said Scipio ; " and, since
your conjugal faith is no longer under a cloud, my visual appetite
increases by what it feeds on." It was a pretty compliment;
and my secretary, having fired it off, pursued his narrative as fol-
lows : —
" This intelligence kindled the flame of passion within me; but
not, it must be confessed, a flame which could be acknowledged
without a blush. I took it for granted that my triumph over her
scruples would be easy, if my biddings were high enough to com-
mand the ordinary market of female chastity ; but Beatrice was a
pearl beyond price. In vain did I solicit her, through the channel
of some intriguing gossips, with the offer of my purse and of my
most tender attentions ; she rejected all my proposals with disdain.
I had recourse to the lover's last remedy, and offered her my hand,
which she deigned to accept on the strength of my being secretary
and treasurer to Don Manriquez. As it seemed expedient to keep
our marriage secret for some time, the ceremony was performed
privately, in presence of Dame Lorenza Sephora, Seraphina's gov-
erness, and before some others of the Count de Polan's household.
After our happy union, Beatrice contrived the means of our meeting
by day, and passing some part of every night together in the gar-
den, whither I repaired through a little gate of which she gave me
a key. Never were man and wife better pleased with each other
than Beatrice and myself: with equal impatience did we watch for
the hour of our appointment ; with congenial emotions of eager
sensibility did we hasten to the spot, and the moments which we
passed together, though countless from their number in the calendar
of cold indifference, to us were few and fleeting, in comparison with
that eternity of mutual bliss for which we panted,
" One night — a night which should be expunged from the alma-
nac— a night of darkness and despair, contrasted with the bright-
ness of all our former nights, — I was surprised on approaching the
garden to find the little gate open. This unusual circumstance
alarmed me, for it seemed to augur something inauspicious to my
happiness, I turned pale and trembled, as if with a foreknowledge
of what was going to happen. Advancing in the dark towards a
bower where our private meetings had usually taken place, I heard
a man's voice. I stopped on the instant to listen, when the follow-
ing words struck like the sound of death upon my ear: 'Do not
keep me languishing in suspense, my dear Beatrice ; make my hap-
piness complete, and consider that your own fortunes are closely
686 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
connected with mine.' Instead of having patience to hear further,
it seemed as if more had been said than blood could expiate ; that
devil jealousy took possession of my soul ; I drew my sword, and,
breathing vengeance, rushed into the bower. ' Ah, base seducer 1'
cried I, ' whoever you are, you shall tear this heart from out my
breast rather than touch my honor on its tenderest point.' With these
words on my lips, I attacked the gentleman who was talking with
Beatrice. He stood upon his guard without more ado, like a man
much better acquainted with the science of arms than myself, who
had only received a few lessons from a fencing-master at Cordova.
And yet, strong as his sword-arm was, I made a thrust which he
could not parry, or what is more likely, his foot slipped. I saw him
fall, and, fancying that I had wounded him mortally, ran away as
hard as my legs would carry me, without deigning to answer Bea-
trice, who would have called me back."
"Yes, indeed!" said Scipio's wife, resolved to have her share in
the development of the story ; " I called out for the purpose of
undeceiving him. The gentleman conversing with me in the arbor
was Don Ferdinand de Leyva. This nobleman, who was in love
with my mistress, Julia, had laid a plan for running away with her,
from despair of being able to obtain her hand by any other means,
and I had myself made this assignation with him in the garden, to
concert measures for the elopement, and with his fortune he assured
me that my own was closely linked ; but it was in vain that I
screamed after my husband : he darted from me as if my very touch
were contamination."
"In such a state of mind," resumed Scipio, "I was incapable of
anything. Those who know by experience what jealousy is, into
what extravagance it drives the best regulated spirits, will be at no
loss to conceive the disorder it must have produced in my weak
brain. I passed in a moment from one extreme to another : emo-
tions of hatred succeeded instantaneously to all my former senti-
ments of affection for my wife. I took an oath never to see her
more, and to banish her forever from my memory. Besides, the
supposed death of a man lay upon my conscience, and, under that
idea, I was afraid of falling into the hands of justice ; so that every
torment which could be accumulated on the head of guilt and misery,
by the fury of despair and the demon of remorse, was the remedi-
less companion of my wretched flight. In this dreadful situation,
thinking only of my escape, I returned home no more, but imme-
diately quitted Toledo, with no other provision for my journey but
the clothes on my back. It is true I had about sixty pistoles in my
pocket — a tolerable supply for a young man whose views in life
pointed no higher than a good service.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 587
" I walked forward all night, or rather ran, for the phantom of an
alguazil always dogging me at the heels made me perform wonderc
of pedestrian activity. The dawn overtook me between Eodillas
and Maqueda. When I was at the latter town, finding myself a
little weajy, I went into the church which was just opened, and
having put up a short prayer, sat down on a bench to rest. I began
musing on the state of my affairs, which were sufficiently out at
elbows to require all my skill in patchwork ; but the time for reflec-
tion, as well as for repentance, was cut short. The church echoed
on a sudden with three or four smacks of a whip, which made me
conclude that some carrier was on the foad. I immediately got up
to go and see whether I was right, or wrong. At the door I found a
man mounted on a mule, leading two others by the halter. * Stop,
my friend,' said I; 'whither are tTiose two mules going?' 'Tq
Madrid,' answered he. ' I came, hither with two good Dominicans,
and am now setting out on my return.'
" Such an opportunity of going to Madrid g^ve me an itching
desire for the expedition. I made my bargain with the muleteer,
jumped upon one of his mules, and away we scampered towards
Illescas, where we were to put up for the night. Scarcely were we
out of Maqueda, before the muleteer, a man from five-and-thirty to
forty, began chanting the church service with a most collegiate
twang. This trial of his lungs began with matins, in the drowsy
tone of a canon between asleep and awake ; then he roared out the
Belief, alternately in contralto, tenor, and bass, in all the harmoni-
ous confusion of high mass ; and not content with that, he rang the
bell for vespers, without sparing me a single petition, or so much as
a bar of the Magnificat. Though the scoundrel almost cracked the
drum of my ear, I could not help laughing heartily, and even egged
him on to make the welkin reverberate with his hallelujahs, when
the anthem was suspended a few rests, for the necessary purpose of
supplying wind to the organ. ' Courage, my friend 1' said I ; ' go
on and prosper. If Heaven has given you a good capacious throat,
you are neither a niggard nor a perverter of its precious boon.'
*0 ! certainly not, for the matter of that,' cried he: 'happily for my
immortal soul, I am not like carriers in general, who sing nothing
but profane songs about love or drinking : I do not even defile my
lips with ballads on our wars against the Moors ; such subjects are
at least light and unedifying, if not licentious and impure.' 'You
have,' replied I, ' an evangelical purity of heart which belongs only
to the elect among muleteers. With this excessive squeamishness
of yours about the choice of your music, have you also taken a vow
of continence, wherever there is a young bar-maid to be picked up
at an inn?' 'Assuredly,' rejoined he; 'chastity ia also a virtue by
588 ADVENTURES OF GIL liLAS.
which it ia my pride to ward oif the temptations of the road, where
my only business is to look after my mules.' I was in no small
degree astonished at such pious sentiments from this prodigy of
psalm-singing mule-drivers; so that, looking upon him as a man
above the vanities and corruptions of this nether world, I fell
into chat with him after he had gone the length of his tether in
singing.
" We got to Illescas late in the day. On entering the inn-yard,
I left the care of the mules to my companion, and went into the
kitchen, where I ordered the landlord to get us a good supper,
which he promised to perform so much to my satisfaction as to make
me remember all the days of my life what usage travellers met
with at his house. * As,' added he, ' now only ask your carrier what
sort of a man I am. By all the powers of seasoning I I would defy
the best cook in Madrid or Toledo to make an olio at all to be
compared to mine. I shall treat you this evening with some stewed
rabbit after a receipt of my own ; you will then see whether it i?
any boast to say that I know how to send up a supper.' There-
upon, showing me a stewpan with a young rabbit, as he said, cut
up into pieces, ' There,' continued he, * is what I mean to favor you ,
with. When I shall have thrown in a little pepper, some salt,
wine, a handful of sweet herbs, and a few other ingredients which I
keep for my own sauces, you may depend on sitting down to such a
dish as would not disgrace the table of a chancellor or an arch-
bishop.'
" The landlord, having thus done justice to his own merits, began
to work upon the materials he had prepared. While he was labor-
ing in his vocation, I went into a room, where, lying down on a
sort of couch, I fell fast asleep through fatigue, having taken no
rest the night before. In the space of about two hours, the mule-
teer came and awakened me, with the information that supper was
ready, and a pressing request to take my place at table. The cloth
was laid for two, and we sat down to the hashed rabbit. I played
my knife and fork most manfully, finding the flavor delicious,
whether from the force of hunger in communicating a candid mode
of interpretation to my palate, or from the natural effect of the
ingredients compounded by the cook. A joint of roast mutton was
next served up. It was remarkable that the carrier only paid his
respects to this last article ; and I asked him why he had not taken
his share ofthe other. He answered, with a suppressed smile, that
he was not fond of made dishes. This reason, or rather the turn of
countenance with which it was alleged, seemed to imply more than
was expressed. 'You have not told me,' said I, 'the real meaning
of your not eating the fricassee ; do have the goodness to explain
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 589
it at once.' 'Since you are so curious to be made acquainted with
it,' replied he, * I must own that I have an insuperable aversion to
cramming my stomach with meats in masquerade, since one evening
at an inn on the road between Toledo and Cuencja, they served me
up, instead of a wild rabbit, a hash of tame cat — enough, of all con-
science, ever after to set my intestines in battle array against all
minces, stews, and force-meats,'
" No sooner had the muleteer let me into this secret than, in spite
of the hunger which raged within me, my appetite left me com-
pletely in the lurch. I conceived, in all the horrors of extreme
loathing, that I had been eating a cat dressed up as the double of
a rabbit; and the fricassee had no longer any power over my
senses, except by producing a strong inclination to retch. My
companion did not lessen my tendency that way by telling me that
the innkeepers in Spain, as well as the pastry-cooks, were very much
in the habit of making that substitution. The drift of the conver-
sation was, as you may perceive, very much in the nature of a
lenitive: so much so that I had no mind to meddle any more
with the dish of undefinables, nor even to make an attack upon the
roast meat, for fear the mutton should have performed its duty by
deputy as well as the rabbit. I jumped up from table, cursing the
cookery, the cook, and the whole establishment ; then, throwing
myself down upon the sofa, I passed the night with less nausea
than might reasonably have been expected. The day following,
with the dawn, after having paid the reckoning with as princely an
air as if we had been treated like princes, away went I from Illescas,
bearing my faculties so strongly impregnated with fricassee that I
took every animal which crossed the road, of whatever species or
dimensions, for a cat.
" We got to Madrid betimes, where I had no sooner settled with
my carrier than I hired a ready-furnished lodging near the Sun-
gate. My eyes, though accustomed to the great world, were,
nevertheless, dazzled by the concourse of nobility which was ordi-
narily seen in the quarter of the court. I admired the prodigious
number of carriages, and the countless list of gentlemen, pages,
gentlemen's gentlemen, and plain, downright footmen, in the train
of the grandees. My admiration exceeded all bounds on going to
the king's levee, and beholding the monarch in the midst of his
court. The effect of the scene was enchanting, and I said to
myself, ' It is no wonder they should say that one must see the
court of Madrid to form an adequate idea of its magnificence: I am
delighted to have directed my course hither, and feel a sort of
prescience within me that I shall not come away without taking
fortune by surprise.' I caught nothing napping, however, but my
590 ADVENTUliES OF GIL BIAS.
own prudence, in making some thriftless, expensive acquaintance.
My money oozed away in tlie rapid thaw of my propriety and
better judgment, so that it became a measure of expedient degrada-
tion to throw away my transcendent merit on a pedagogue of
Salamanca, whom some family lawsuit or other concern had brought
to Madrid, where he was born, and where chance, more whimsical
than wise, thrust me within the horizon of his knowledge. I
became his right hand, his prime, principal agent, and dogged him
at the heels to the university when he returned thither.
" My new employer went by the name of Don Ignacio de Ipigna.
He furnished himself with the handle of don, inasmuch as he had
been tutor to a nobleman of the first rank, who had recompensed
his early services with an annuity for life : he likewise derived a
snug little salary from his professorship in the university ; and, in
addition to all this, laid the public under a yearly contribution of
two or three hundred pistoles for books of uninstructive morality,
which he protruded from the press periodically by weight and
measure. The manner in which he worked up the shreds and
patches of his composition deserves a notice somewhat more than
cursory. The heavy hours of the forenoon were spent in muzzing
over Hebrew, Greek, and Latin authors, and in writing down upon
little squares of card every pithy sentence or striking thought which
occurred in the morning's reading. According to the progress of
this literary Pan in winning tricks from the ancients, he employed
me to score up his honors in the form of an Apollo's wreath : these
metaphysical garlands were strung upon wire, and each garland
made a pocket volume. What an execrable hash of wholesome
viands did we cook up! The commandments set at loggerheads
with an utter confusion of tables; epicurean conclusions grafted on
stoical premises ! TuUy quoting Epictetus, and Seneca supporting
his antitheses on the authority of monkish rhyme ! Scarcely a
month elapsed without our putting forth at least two volumes, so
that the press was kept continually groaning under the weight of
our transgressions. What seemed most extraordinary of all was,
that these literary larcenies were palmed upon the purchasers for
spick and span new wares, and if, by any strange and improbable
chance, a thick-headed critic should stumble with his noddle smack
against some palpable plagiarism, the author would plead guilty
to the indictment, and make a merit of serving up at second-
hand
' What Gellius or Stobeeus hashed before,
Though chewed by blind old scholiasts o'er and o'er.'
He was also a great commentator, and filled his notes chuck full of
80 much erudition as to multiply whole pages of discussion upon
I
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 591
what homely common-sense would have consigned to the brief alter-
native of a query : —
' Disputes of Me or Te, or Aut or At,
To sound or sink in cano 0 or A,
Or give up Cicero to C or K.'
" As almost every author, ethical and didactic, from Hesiod down
to himself, took his turn to dangle on some one or other of our manu-
script garlands, it was impossible for me''not to suck in somewhat of
sage nurture from so copious a stream of philosophy : it would be
rank ingratitude to shift off my obligation. My handwriting also
became strictly and decidedly legible, by dint of continual transcrip-
tion ; my estate was more that of a pupil than of a servant, and my
morals were not neglected, while my mind was polished, and my
faculties raised above their former level. ' Scipio,' he used to say,
when he chanced to hear of any serving lad with more cunning than
honesty in his dealings, ' beware, my good boy, how you take after
the evil example of that graceless villain. " The honor of a servant
is his fidelity ; his highest virtues are submission and obedience. Be
studious of thy master's interests; be diligent in his affairs, and
faithful to the trust which he reposeth in thee. Thy time and thy
labor belong unto him. Defraud him not thereof, for he payeth thee
for them." ' To sum up all, Don Ignacio lost no opportunity of
leading me on in the path of virtue, and his prudent counsels sank
so deep into my heart as to keep under anything like even the
slightest wish of playing him a rogue's trick during the fifteen
months which I spent in his service.
" I have already mentioned that Doctor de Ipigna was a native of
Madrid. He had a relation there, by name Catalina, waiting-maid
to the lady who officiated as nurse to the heir-apparent. This abi-
gail, the same through whose intervention I got Signor de Santillane
released from the tower of Segovia, intent on rendering a service to
Don Ignacio, prevailed with her mistress to petition the Duke of
Lerma for some preferment. The minister named him for the arch-
deaconry of Granada, which, as a conquered country, is in the king's
gift. We repaired immediately to Madrid on receiving the intelli-
gence, as the doctor wished to thank his patronesses before he took
possession of his benefice. I had more than one opportunity of see-
ing Catalina, and conversing with her. The cheerful turn of my
temper and a certain easy air of good company were altogether to
her taste; for my part, I found her so much to my liking, that I
could not help saying yes to the little advances of partiality which
she made in my favor : in short, we got to feel very kindly towards
each other. You must not write a comment with your nails, my
dear Beatrice, on this episode in the romance of my amours, because
6y-J ADVENTUKES OF GIL BLAS.
I w<as firmly persuaded of your inconstancy, and you will allow that
heresy, though impious, being also blind, my penance may reason-
ably be remitted on sincere conversion.
" In the meantime. Doctor Ignacio was making ready to set out
for Granada. His relation and myself, out of our wits at the im-
pending separation, had recourse to an expedient which rescued us
from its horrors : I shammed illness, complained of my head, com-
plained of my chest, and made a characteristic wry face for every
pain and ache in the catalogue of human infirmities. My master
called in a physician, who told me with a grave face, after putting
his questions in the usual course, that my complaint was of a much
more serious nature than it might appear to unprofessional observa*
tion, and that, according to all present likelihood, I should keep my
chamber a long time. The doctor, impatient to take possession of
his preferment, did not think it quite so well to delay his departure,
but chose rather to hire another boy ; he therefore contented himself
with handing me over to the care of a nurse, with whonl he left a
sum of money to bury me if I should die, or to remunerate me for
my services if I should recover.
"As soon as I knew Don Ignacio to be safe on the road for
Granada, I was cured of all my maladies. I got up, made my final
bow to the physician who had evinced so thorough a knowledge of
my case, and fairly turned my nurse out of doors, who made her
retreat good with baggage and ammunition to the amount of more
than half the sum for which she ought to have accounted with me.
While I was enacting the sick man, Catalina was playing another
part about the person of her mistress. Donna Anna de Gu6vra, into
whose conception having, by dint of many a wordy process, inserted
the notion that I was the man of all others ready cut and dry for
an intrigue, she induced her to choose me for one of her agents.
The royal and most catholic nurse, whose genius for great under-
takings was either produced or exasperated by the love of great
possessions, having occasion for suitable ministers, received me
among her hangers-on, and lost no opportunity of ascertaining how
far I was for her purpose. She confided some commissions to my
care, which, vanity apart, called for no little address, and what they
called for was ready at hand : accordingly she gave me all possible
credit for the diligent execution of my office, while my discontent
swelled high against her for fobbing me off with the cold recom-
pense of approbation. The good lady was so abominably avaricious
as not to give me a working partner's share in the profits of my
industry, nor to allow for the wear and tear of my cons"cience. She
seemed inclined to consider that by paying me my wages all the
requisitions of Christian charity were made good between us.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 593
This excess of illiberal economy would soon have parted us had
it not been for the fascination of Catalina's gentle virtues, who be-
came more desperately in love with me from day to day, and com-
pletedthe paroxysm by a formal proposal of marriage.
" ' Fair and softly, my pretty friend,' said I ; ' we must look before
we leap into that bottomless gulf: the first point to be settled is to
ascertain the death of a young woman who obtained the refusal
before you, and made me supremely happy for no other purpose
but to anticipate the pnrgatory of an intermediate state in the
present.' 'All a mere sham, a put-ofi'I' answered Cataliua: 'you
swear you are married only by way of throwing a genteel veil over
your abhorrence of my person and manners.' In vain did I call all
the powers to witness that what I said was solemnly true : my sin-
cere avowal was considered as a mere copy of my countenance ; the
lady was grievously offended, and changed her whole behavior in
regard to me. There was no downright quarrel ; but our tender
intercourse became visibly more rigid and unaccommodating, so that
nothing further took place between us but cold formality and com-
monplace attentions.
" Just at the nick of time, I heard that Signor Gil Bias de San-
tillane, secretary to the prime minister of the Spanish monarchy,
wanted a servant ; and the situation was the more flattering, as it
bore the bell among all the vacancies of the court register office.
Signor de Santillane, they told me, was one of the first men, high
in favor with the Duke of Lerma, and consequently in the direct
road to fortune ; his heart, too, was cast in the mould of generosity ;
by doing his business, you most assuredly did your own. The
opportunity was too good to be neglected : I went and offered my-
self to Signor Gil Bias, to whom I felt my heart grow from the first;
for my sentiments were fixed by the turn of his physiognomy.
There could be no question about leaving the royal and most cath-
olic nurse for him ; and it is to be hoped I shall never have any
other master."
Here ended Scipio's story. But he continued speaking, and ad-
dressed himself to me. " Signor de Santillane, do me the favor
to assure these ladies that you have always known me for a
faithful and zealous servant. Your testimony will stand me in
good stead, and vouch for a sincere reformation in the son of Cos-
clina."
" Yes, ladies," said I, " it is even so. Though Scipio in his child-
hood was a very scapegrace, he has been born anew, and is now the
exact model of a trusty domestic. Far from having any complaints
to make against him, my debt is infinite. On the fatal night when
I wsis carried off to the tower of Segovia, he saved my effects from
38
594
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
pillage, and refunded what he might have taken to himself with
impunity : not contented with rescuing my worldly pelf, he came
out of pure friendship and shut himself up with me in my prison,
preferring the melancholy sympathies of adverse fortune to all the
charms of lusty, buoyant liberty."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 595
BOOK XL
CHAPTEE I.
CONTAINING THE SUBJECT OF THE GREATEST JOY THAT GIX BLAS EVER
FELT, FOLLOWED BY THE MOST MELANCHOLY EVENT OF HIS LIFE.
I HAVE observed already that Antonia and Beatrice understood
one another perfectly well, the latter falling^ meekly and mod-
estly into the trammels of a humble attendant on her lady, and the
former taking very kindly to the rank of a mistress and superior.
Scipio and myself were husbands too rich in nature's gifts and in
the affections of our spouses not very soon to have the satisfaction
of becoming fathers : our wives were as women wish to be who love
their lords, almost at the same moment. Beatrice's time was up
first: she was safely delivered of a daughter; and in a few days
afterwards Antonia completed the general joy by presenting me
with a son. I sent my secretary to Valencia with the welcome
tidings: the governor came to Lirias with Seraphina and the
Marchioness de Pliego, to be present at the baptismal ceremony;
for he made it his pleasure to add this testimony of affection to all
his former kindnesses. As that nobleman stood godfather and the
marchioness godmother to my son, he was named Alphonso ; and
the governor's lady, wishing to draw the bonds of sponsorship still
closer in this friendly party, stood for Scipio's daughter, to whom
we gave the name of Seraphina.
The rejoicings at th6 birth of my son were not confined to the
mansion-house : the villagers of Lirias celebrated the event by fes-
tivities, which were meant as a grateful token, to prove how much
the little neighborhood partook in all the satisfactions of their land-
lord. But, alas ! our carousals were of short continuance ; or, to
speak more suitably to the subject, they were turned into weeping,
wailing, and lamentation, by a catastrophe which more than twenty
years have not been sufficient to blot from my memory ; nor will
future time, however distant, make me think of it but with the
bitterest retrospect. My son died; and his mother, though per-
fectly recovered from her confinement, very soon followed him : a
violent fever carried off my dear wife after we had been married
fourteen months. Let the reader conceive, if he is equal to the
task, the grief with which I was overwhelmed : I fell into a stupid
insensibility, and felt my loss so severely as to seem not to feel it
596 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
at all. I remained in this condition for five or six days, in an
obstinate determination to take no nourishment; and I verily be-
lieve that, had it not been for Scipio, I should either have starved
myself, or my heart would have burst; but my secretary, well
knowing how to accommodate himself to the turnings and windings
of the human heart, contrived to cheat my sorrows by falling iu
with their tone and tenor: he was artful enough to reconcile me to
the duty of taking food, by serving up soups and lighter fare with
80 disconsolate an arrangement of features that it looked as if he
urged me to the revolting employment, not so much to preserve my
life as to perpetuate and render immortal my affliction.
This affectionate servant wrote to Don Alphonso to let him know
of the misfortune which had happened to me, and my lamentable
condition in consequence. That tender-hearted and compassionate
nobleman, that generous friend, very soon repaired to Lirias. I
cannot recall the moment when he first presented himself to my
view, without even now being sensibly affected. " My dear Santil-
lane," said he, embracing me, " I am not come to offer you imperti-
nent consolation, but to weep over Antonia with you, as you would
have wept with me over Seraphina, had the hand of death snatched
her from me." In good truth, his tears bore testimony to his sin-
cerity, and his sighs were blended with mine in the most friendly
sympathy. Though overwhelmed with my affliction, I felt in the
most lively manner the kindness of Don Alphonso.
The governor had a long conversation with Scipio respecting the
measures to be taken for overcoming my despair. They judged it
best to remove me tor some ijme from Lirias, where every object
incessantly brought back to my mind the image of Antonia. On
this account the son of Don Caesar proposed carrying me back with
him to Valencia ; and my secretary seconded the plan with so many
unanswerable arguments that I made no further opposition. I left
Scipio and his wife on my estate, where my longer stay could have
produced no other effect than that of aggravating and enhancing all
my sorrows, and took my own departure with the governor. On
my arrival at Valencia, Don Csesar and his daughter-in-law spared
no exertions to divert my sorrows from perpetual brooding; they
plied me alternately with every sort of amusement, the most proper
to turn the current of my thoughts to passing objects ; but, in spite
of all their pains, I remained plunged in melancholy, whence they
were incompetent to draw me out. Nor was it for want of Scipio's
kind attentions that my peace of mind was still so hopeless : he was
continually going back and forth between Lirias and Valencia to
inquire after me; and his journey home was cheerful or gloomy in
proportion as he found more or less disposition in me to listen t«
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 597
the words of comfort, and to reward the affectionate solicitude of
my friends.
He came one morning into my room. "Sir," said he, with a
great deal of agitation in his manner, " a report is current about
town, in which the whole monarchy is deeply interested : it is said
that Philip the Third has departed this life, and that the prince, his
son, is actually seated on the throne. To this it is added that the
cardinal Duke of Lerma has lost the premiership, that he is even
forbidden to appear at court, and that Don Gaspard de Guzman,
Count of Olivarez, is actually at the head of the administration," I
felt a little agitated by this sudden change, without knowing why.
Scipio caught at this manifestation, and asked whether the veering
of the wind in the political horizon might not blow me some good.
"How is that possible? What good can it blow me, my worthy
friend?" answered I. "The court and I have shaken hands once
for all : the revolutions which may take place there are all alike
indifferent to me."
" For a man at your time of life," replied that cunning son of a
diviner, "you are uncommonly mortified to all the uses of this
world. Under your circumstances my curiosity would be all alive ;
I should go to Madrid and show my face to the young monarch, just
to see whether he would recollect it, merely for the amusement of
the thing." " I understand you," said I ; " you would have me re-
turn to court and try my fortune again, or rather you would plunge
me back into the gulf of avarice and ambition." " Why should
such baleful passions any more take possession of your breast?"
rejoined Scipio. " Do not so much play the calumniator on your
own virtue. I will answer for your firmness to yourself. The sound
moral reflections which your disgrace has occasioned you to make
on the vanities of a court life are a sufficient security against all the
dangers to be feared from that quarter. Embark boldly once again
upon an ocean where you are acquainted with every shoal and rock
in the dangerous navigation." " Hold your tongue, you flatterer,"
said I with a smile of no very positive discouragement ; " are you
weary of seeing me lead a retired and tranquil life ? I thought my
repose had been more dear to you."
Just at this period of our conversation, Don Csesar and his son
came in. They confirmed the news of the king's death, as well as
the Duke of Lerma's misfortune. It appeared, moreover, that this
minister, having requested permission to retire to Rome, had not
been able to obtain it, but was ordered to confine himself to his
marquisate at Denia. On this, as if they had been in league with
my secretary, they advised me to go to Madrid and offer my con-r
gratulations to the new king, as one of his former acquaintance^
5yS ADVEyTiJiES OF GIL BIAS.
with the merit of having rendered him even such services as the
great are apt to reward more willingly than some which are per-
formed with cleaner hands. " For my part," said Don Alphonso,
" I have uo doubt but they will be liberally acknowledged ; Philip
the Fourth is bound in honor to pay the Prince of Spain's debts."
" I consider the affair just in the same light as you do," said Don
Caesar, "and Santillane's visit to court will doubtless prove the occa-
sion of his arriving at the very first employments."
" In good truth, my noble friends," exclaimed I, " you do not
consider what you are talking about. It should seem, were one to
give ear to the soothing words of you both, as if I had nothing to
do but to show my face at Madrid, and receive the key of office, or
some foreign government, for ray pains ; but you are egregiously
mistaken. I am, on the contrary, well persuaded that the king
would pass me over as a stranger were I to throw myself in his way.
I will make the experiment if you wish it, merely for the sake of
undeceiving you." The lords of Ley va took me at my word, so that
I could not help promising them to set out without loss of time for
Madrid. No sooner did my secretary perceive my mind fully made
up to the prosecution of this journey than his ecstasies were wound
up to the highest pitch ; he was satisfied within himself that if I did
but present my excellent person before the new monarch, he would
immediately single me out from the crowd of political candidates,
and weigh me down under a load of dignities and emoluments. On
the strength of these conjectures, puffing himself out and amusing
his fancy with the most splendid extravagances of device, he raised
me up to the first office of the state, and pushed forward his own
preferment in the path of my exaltation.
I therefore made my arrangements for returning to court,, without
the most distant intention of again sacrificing at the shrine of for-
tune, but merely to convince Don Caesar and his son of their error
in imagining that I was at all likely to ingratiate myself with the
sovereign. It is true that there was some little lurking vanity at
the bottom of all my philosophy, sprouting up in the shape of a
desire to ascertain whether my royal master would throw away a
thought on me now in the spring-time of his new and blushing
honors. Led into that course solely by that tempter curiosity,
without a dream of hope, or any practical contrivance for turning
the new reign to my own individual advantage, I set out for Madrid
with Scipio, consigning the management of my household to Bea-
trice, who was well skilled in all the arts of domestic economy.
ADVENT CUES OF GIL BLAS. 599
CHAPTER II.
GIL BLAS ABEIVES IN MADRID. HE APPEARS AT COURT. THE KING
RECOMMENDS HIM TO THE NOTICE OP HIS PRIME MINISTER.
WE got to Madrid in less than eight days, Don Alphonso hav-
ing given US two of his best horses, that we might lose no
time on the road. We alighted at a ready-furnished lodging, where
I had lived formerly, kept by Vincent Ferrero, my old landlord,
who was uncommonly glad to see me again.
As this man prided himself on being in the secret of whatever
was going forward either in court or city, I asked him after the best
news. " There is plenty of it, whether best or worst," answered he.
"Since the death of Philip the Third, the friends and partisans of the
cardinal Duke of Lerma have been moving heaven and earth to
support his eminence on the pinnacle of ministerial authority ; but
their efforts have been ineffectual. The Count of Olivarez has cai:-
ried the day, in spite of all their industry. It is alleged that Spain
will be no loser by the exchange, and that the present premier is
possessed of a genius so extensive, a mind so capacious, that he
would be competent to wield the machine of universal government.
New brooms, they say, sweep clean. But, at all events, you may
take this for certain, that the public is fully impressed with a very
favorable opinion of his capacity ; we shall see by-and-by whether
the Duke of Lerma's situation is well or ill filled up.' Ferrero, hav-
ing got his tongue into the right train for wagging, gave me all the
particulars of all the changes which had taken place at court
since the Count of Olivarez had taken his seat at the helm of the
state vessel.
Two days after my arrival at Madrid I repaired to the royal
palace, after my dinner, and threw myself in the king's way as he
was crossing the lobby to his closet; but his notice was not at all
attracted by my appearance. Next day I returned to the same
place, but with no better success. On the third day he looked me
full in the face as he passed by ; but the stare was perfectly vacant,
as far as my interest or my vanity was concerned. This being the
case, I resolved in my own mind what was proper to be done. "You
see," said I to Scipio, who accompanied me, "that the king is
grown out of my recollection ; or if his memory is not become
more frail with the elevation of his circumstances, he has some pri-
vate reasons for not choosing to renew the acquaintance. I think
we cannot do better than make our way back as fast as possible for
Valencia." "Let us not be in too great a hurry for that, sir,"
600 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
answered my secrctarj' ; "you know better than myself, having
served a long appreiiticeHhip, that there is no getting on at court
without patience and perseverance. Be indefatigable in exhibiting
your person to the prince's regards : by dint of forcing yourself on
his observation, you will oblige him to ask himself the question who
this assiduous frequenter of his haunts can possibly be, when mera-
(>ry must come to his aid, and trace the features of his cheapener in
the purchase of the lovely Catalina's good graces."
That Scipio might have nothing to reproach me with, I so far
lent myself to his wishes as to continue the same proceeding for the
space of three weeks ; when at length it happened one day that the
monarch, noticing the frequency of my appearance, sent for me into
his presence. I went into the closet, not without some perturbation
of mind at the idea of a private interview with my sovereign, " Who
are you?" said he; " your features are not altogether strange to me.
Where have I seen you?" "Please your majesty," answered I,
trembling, " I had the honor of escorting you one night with the
Count of Lemos to the house of" ..." Ah ! I recollect it per-
fectly," cried the prince, as jf a sudden light had broke in upon him;
" you were the Duke of Lerma's secretary ; and if I am not mistaken,
your name is Santillane. I have not forgotten that on the occasion
alluded to you served me with a most commendable zeal, but re-
ceived a left-handed recompense for your exertions. Did you not
get into prison at the conclusion of the adventure ?" " Yes, please
your majesty," replied I ; " my confinement in the tower of Segovia
lasted six months ; but your goodness was exercised in procuring
my release." " That," replied he, " does not cancel my debt to
my faithful servant Santillane : it is not enough to have restored
him to liberty ; for I ought to make him ample amends for the
evils which he has suffered on the score of his alacrity in my
concerns."
Just as the prince was uttering these words, the Count of Olivarez
came into the closet. The nerves of favorites are shaken by every
breath, their irritability excited by every trifle; he was as much
astonished as any favorite need be at the sight of a stranger in that
place, and the king redoubled his wondering propensities by the fol-
lowing recommendation : " Count, I consign this young man to your
care ; employ him, and let me find that you provide for his advance-
ment." The minister affected to receive this order with the most
gracious acquiescence, but looked me over from head to foot, with a
glance from the corner of his eye, and was on tenter-hooks to find
out who had been so strangely saddled upon him. " Go, my friend,"
added the sovereign, addressing himself to me, and waving his hand
for me to withdraw ; " the count will not fail to avail himself of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 601
your services in a manner the most conducive to the interests of my
government and the establishment of your own fortunes."
I immediately went out of the closet, and made the best of my
way to the son of Cosclina, who, being overrun with impatience to
inquire what the liing had been talking about, fumbled at his
fingers' ends, and was all over in an agitation. His first question
was whether we were to return to Valencia or become a part of the
jourt. " You shall form your own conclusions," answered I, at the
same time delighting him with an account, word for word, of the
little conversation I had just held with the monarch. "My dear
master," said Scipio, at once, in the excess of his joy, " will you take
me for your almanac-maker another time ? You must acknowledge
that we were not in the wrong : the lords of Leyva and myself have
our eye-teeth about us ' A journey to Madrid was the only measure
to be adopted in such a case. Already I anticipate your appoint-
ment to an eminent post : you will turn out to be sometime or other
a Calderona to the Count of Olivarez." " That is by no means the
object of my ambition," observed I, in return ; " the employment is
placed on too rugged an eminence to excite any longings in my mind.
I could wish for a good situation, where there could be no induce-
ment to do what might go against my conscience, and where the
favors of my prince are not likely to be bartered away for filthy lucre.
Having experienced my own unfitness for the possession of patron-
age, I cannot be sufficiently on my guard against the inroads of
avarice and ambition." " Never think about that, sir," replied my
secretary ; " the minister will give you some handsome appointment,
which you may fill without any impeachment of your integrity or
independence."
Induced more by Scipio's importunity than my own curiosity,
I repaired the following day, before sunrise, to the residence of
the Count d'Olivarez, having been informed that every morning,
whether in summer or winter, he gave audience by candlelight to
all comers. I ensconced myself modestly in a corner of the saloon,
and from my lurking-place took especial notice of the count when
he made his appearance, for I had marked his person but cursorily
in the king's closet. He was above the middle stature, and might
pass for fat in a country where it is a rarity to see any but lean
subjects. His shoulders were so high as to look exactly as if he
was humpbacked ; but appearances were slanderous ; for his blade-
bones, though inelegant, were a pair; his head, which was large
enough to be capacious, dropped down upon his chest by the un-
wieldiness of its own weight; his hair was black and unconscious of
a curl, his face lengthened, his complexion olive-colored, his mouth
retiring inwards, with the sharp-pointed, turn-up chin of a pantaloon.
602 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
This whole arrangement of structure and symmetry did not
exactly make up the complete model of a nobleman according to
the ideas of ancient art ; nevertheless, as I believed him to be in a
temper of mind favorable to the gratification of my wishes, I looked
at his defects with an indulgent eye, and found him a man very
much to my satisfaction. One of the best points about him was,
that he received the public at large with the utmost affability and
complacency, holding out his hand for petitions with as much good
humor as if he were the person to be obliged ; and this was a suffi-
cient set-off" against anything untoward in the expression of his
countenance. In the meantime, when, in my turn, I came forward
to pay my respects and make myself known to him, he darted at
me a glance of rude dislike and frightful menace ; then, turning
his back, without condescending to give me audience, retired into
his closet. Then it was that the ugliness of this nobleman's
features appeared in all the extravagance of caricature, so that I
made the best of my way out of the saloon, thunderstruck at so
savage a reception, and quite at a loss how to conjecture what might
be the occasion.
Having got back to Scipio, who was waiting for me at the door,
" Can you guess at all," said I, " what sort of a greeting mine was ?"
" No," answered he, " not as to the minute particulars ; but with
respect to the substance, easily enough : the minister, ready upon
all occasions to fall in with the fancies of his royal master, must of
course have made you a handsome offer of an ostensible and lucra-
tive situation." " That is all you know about the matter," replied
I, and then went on to acquaint him circumstantially with all that
passed. He listened to me with serious attention, and then said,
"The count could not have recollected your person; or rather, he
must have been deceived by a fortuitous resemblance between you
and some impertinent suitor. I would advise you to try another
interview ; I will lay a wager he will look on you more kindly."
I adopted my secretary's suggestion, and stood for the second time in
the presence of the minister ; but he, behaving to me still worse than
at first, puckered up his features the moment my unlucky coun-
tenance came within his ken, just as if it was connected with some
lodged hate and certain loathing, which of force swayed him to
offend, himself being offended; after this significant demonstration,
he turned away his glaring eyeballs, and withdrew without uttering
a word,
I was stung to the quick by so hostile a treatment, and in a
humor to set out immediately on my return to Valencia ; but to
that project Scipio uniformly opposed his steady objections, not
knowing how for the life of him to part with those flattering hopes
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 603
which fancy had engendered in his brain. "Do you not see
plainly," said I, "that the count, wishes to drive me away from
court ? The monarch has testified in his presence some sort of favor-
able intention towards me, and is not that enough to draw down
upon' me the thorough hate of the monarch's favorite? Let us
drive before the wind, my good comrade; let us make up our minds
to put quietly into port, and leave the open sea and the honors of
the flag in the possession of an enemy with whom we are too feeble
to contend." " Sir," answered he, in high resentment against the
Count of Olivarez, " I would not strike so easily. I would go and
complain to the king of the contempt in which his minister held
his recommendation." " Bad advice, indeed, my friend," said I ;
" to take so imprudent a step as that would soon bring bitter repent-
ance in the train of its consequences. I do not even know whether
it is safe for me to remain any longer in this town."
At this hint, my secretary communed a little with his own
thoughts ; and, considering that in point of fact we bad to do with
a man who kept the key of the tower of Segovia in his pocket, my
fears became naturalized in his breast. He no longer opposed my
earnest desire of leaving Madrid, and I determined to take my
measures accordingly on the very next day.
CHAPTER III..
THE PROJECT OF KETIREMENT IS PREVENTED. JOSEPH NAVAERO
BROUGHT UPON THE STAGE AGAIN.
ON my way home to my lodgings I met Joseph Navarro, whom
the reader will recollect as on the establishment of Don
Bakhasar de Zuniga, and one of my old friends. I made my bow
first at a distance, then went up to him, and asked whether he knew
me again, and if he would still be so good as to speak to a wretch
who had repaid his friendship with ingratitude. " You acknowl-
edge then," said he, "that you have not behaved very handsomely
by me ?" " Yes," answered I ; " and you are fully justified in laying
on your reproaches thick and threefold : I deserve them all, unless,
indeed, my guilt may be thought to have been atoned by the
remorse of conscience attendant on it." " Since you have repented
of your misconduct," replied Navarro, embracing me, " I ought no
longer to hold it in remembrance." For my part, I knew not bow
601 ADVENTURES OF GIL DLAS.
to hug Joseph close enough in my arms ; and we both of us resumed
our original kind feelings towards one another.
He had heard of my imprisonment and the derangement of my
affairs ; but of what followed he was totally ignorant. I informed
him of it; relating, word for word, my conversation with the king,
without suppressing the minister's late ungracious reception of me,
any more than my present purpose of retiring into my favorite
obscurity. " Beware of removing from the scene of action," said
be, "since the sovereign has shown a disposition to befriend you:
there are always uses to be made of such a circumstance. Between
ourselves, the Count of Olivarez has something rather unaccount-
able in his character: he is a very good sort of nobleman, but rather
whimsical withal ; sometimes, as on the present occasion, he acts in
a most offensive manner, and none but himself can furnish a clue
to disentangle the intricate thread of his motives and their results.
But however this may be, or whatever reasons might have swayed
him to give you bo scurvy a reception, keep your footing here, and
do not budge ; he will not be able to hinder you from thriving under
the royal shelter and protection : take my word for that ! I will just
give a hint upon the subject this evening to Signor Don Balthasar
de Zuniga, my master; he is uncle to the Count of Olivarez, and
shares with him in the toils and cares of office." Navarro, having
given me this assurance, inquired where I lived^ and then we parted.
It was not long before we met again ; for he came to call on me
the very next day. "Signor de Santillane," said he, "you are not
without a protector; my master will lend you his powerful support:
on the strength of the good character which I have given your lord-
ship, he has promised to speak to his nephew, the Count of Olivarez,
in your behalf; and I doubt not but he will effectually prepossess
him in your favor." My friend Navarro, not meaning to serve me
by halves, introduced me two days afterwards to Don Balthasar,
who said, with a gracious air, " Signor de Santillane, your friend
Joseph has pronounced your panegyric in terms which have won
me over completely to your interest." I made a low obeisance to
Signor de Zuniga, and answered that to the latest period of my life
I should entertain the most lively sense of my obligation to Navarro
for having secured to me the protection of a minister who was con-
sidered, and that for the best reasons possible, a.s the presiding
genius, the greater luminary, or, as it were, the eye and mind of the
ministerial council." Don Balthasar, at this unexpected stroke of
flattery, clapped me on the shoulder with an approving chuckle, and
returned my compliment by a more significant intimation : " You
may call on the Count of Olivarez again to-morrow, and then you
¥rill have more reason to be pleased with him."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 605
For the third time, therefore, did I make my appearance before
the prime minister, who, picking me out from among the mob of
suitors, cast upon me a look conveying with it a simper of welcome,
from which I ventured to draw a good omen. " This is all as it
should be," said I to myself; "the uncle has brought the nephew to
his proper bearings." I no longer anticipated any other than a
favorable reception, and my confidence was fully justified. The
count, after having given audience to the promiscuous crowd, took
me with him into his closet, and said with a familiar address, "My
friend Sanfillane, you must excuse the little disquietude I have
occasioned you merely for my own amusement ; it was done in
sport, though it was death to you, for th§ sole purpose of practicing
on your discretion, and observing to what measures your disgust and
disappointment would incite you. Doubtless you must have con-'
eluded that your services were displeasing to me ; but on the con-
trary, my good fellow, I must confess frankly, that, as far as appears
at present, you are perfectly to my mind. Though the king, my
master, had not enjoined me to take charge of your fortunes, I
should have done so of my own free choice. Besides, my uncle,
Don Balthasar de Zuniga, to whom I can refuse nothing, has re-
quested me to consider you as a man for whom he particularly inter-
ests himself; that alone would be enough to fix my confidence in
you, and make me most sincerely your friend."
This outset of my career produced so lively an impression on my
feelings that they became unintelligibly tumultuous. I threw my-
self at the minister's feet, who insisted on my rising immediately,
and then went on to the following effect: "Eeturn hither to-day
after dinner, and ask for my steward ; he will acquaint you with the
orders which I shall have given him." With these words his excel-
lency broke up the conference to hear mass, according to his con-
stant custom every day after giving audience ; he then attended the
king's levee.
CHAPTER IV.
GIL BLAS INGRATIATES HIMSELF WITH THE COUNT OF OLIVAKEZ.
I DID not fail returning after dinner to the prime minister'a
house, and asking for his steward, whose name was Don Bay*
mond Caporis. No sooner had I made myself known than, paying
his civilities to me in the most respectful manner, " Sir," said he.
606 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
" follow me, if you please ; I am to do myself the honor of showing
you the way to the apartment which is ordered for you in this
family." Having spoken thus, he led me up a narrow staircase to
a gallery communicating with five or six rooms, which composed
the second story belonging to one wing of the house, and were fur-
nished neatly, but without ostentation. " You behold," resumed
he, " the lodging assigned you by his lordship, where you will always
have a table of six persons, kept at his expense. You will be
waited on by his own servants ; and there will always be a carriage
at your command. But that is not all : his excellency insisted on
it, in the most pointed manner, that you should be treated in every
respect with the same attention as if you belonged to the house of
Guzman."
" What the devil is the meaning of all this ?" said I within myself.
" What construction ought I to put upon all these honors ? Is there
not some humorous prank at the bottom of it? and must it not be
more in the way of diversion than anything else that the minister
is flattering me up with so imposing an establishment?" While I
was ruminating in this uncertainty, fluctuating between hope and
fear, a page came to let me know that the count was asking for me.
I waited instantly on his lordship, .who was quite alone in his closet.
" Well ! Santillane," said he, " are you satisfied with your rooms, and
with my orders to Don Raymond?" "Your excellency's liberality,"
answered I, "seems out of all proportion with its object; so that I
receive it with fear and trembling." " AVhy so ?" replied he. " Can
I be too lavish of distinction to a man whom the king has committed
to my care, and for whose interests he especially commanded me to
provide ? No : that is impossible ; and I do no more than my duty
in placing you on a footing of respectability and consequence. No
longer, therefore, let what I do for you be a subject of surprise ; but
rely on it that splendor in the eye of the world, and the solid ad-
vantages of accumulating wealth, are equally within your grasp, if
you do but attach yourself as faithfully to me as you did to the Duke
of Lerma.
" But now that we are on the subject of that nobleman," continued
he, " it is said that you lived on terms of personal intimacy with
him. I have a strong curiosity to learn the circumstances which led
to your first acquaintance, as well as in what department you acted
under him. Do not disguise or gloss over the slightest particular,
for I shall not be satisfied without a full, true, and circumstantial
recital." Then it was that I recollected in what an embarrassing
predicament I stood with the Duke of Lerma on a similar occasion,
and by what line of conduct I extricated myself: that same course I
adopted once again with the happiest success ; whereby the reader
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 607
is to understand tliat throughout my narrative I softened down the
passages likely to give umbrage to my patron, and glanced with a
superficial delicacy over transactions which would have reflected
but little lustre on my own character. I likewise manifested a con-
siderate tenderness for the Duke of Lerma ; though, by giving that
fallen favorite no quarter, I should better have consulted the taste of
him whom I wished to please. As for Don Rodrigo de Calderoua,
there I laid about me with the religious fury of a bishop in a battle.
I brought together, and displayed in the most glaring colors, all the
anecdotes I had been able to pick up respecting his corrupt prac-
tices-and underhand dealing in the sale of promotions, military, ec-
clesiastical and civil.
"What you have told me about Caldciona," cried the minister
with eagerness, " exactly squares with certain memorials which have
been presented to me, containing the heads of charges still more
seriously a^ecting his character. He will very soon be put upon his
trial, and if you have any wish to glut your revenge by his ruin, I
am of opinion that the object of your desire is near at hand." " I
am far from thirsting after his blood," said I, " though had it de-
pended on him, mine might have been shed in the tower of Segovia,
where he was the occasion of my taking lodgings for a pretty long
term." "Whatl" inquired his excellency, "was it Don Rodrigo
who procured you that sudden journey ? This is a part of the story
of which I was not aware before. Don Balthasar, to whom Navarro
gave a summary of your adventures, told me, indeed, that the late
king gave orders for your commitment, as a mark of his indignation
against you for having led the Prince of Spain astray, and taken
him to a house of suspicious character in the night ; but that is all
I know of the matter, and cannot, for the life of me, conjecture what
part Calderona could possibly have had to play in that tragi-
comedy." " A principal part, whether on the stage or in real life,"
answered I ; " that of a jealous lover, taking vengeance for an injury
sustained in the tenderest point." At the same time I related
minutely all the facts with which the reader is already acquainted,
and touched hia risible propensities, difficult as they were of acoess,
so exactly in the right place, that he oould not help wagging his
under-jaw in a paroxysm of humor-stricken Ipcstasy, and laughing
till he cried again. Catalina's double cast in the drama delighted
him exceedingly ; her sometimes playing the niece and sometimes
personating the granddaughter seemed to tickle his fancy more than
anything; nor was he altogether inattentive to the appearance
which the Duke of Lerma made in this undignified farce of state.
When I had finished my story, the count gave me leave to depart,
with an assurance that on thfe next day he would not fail to make
608 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
trial of my talents for business. I ran immediately to the family
hotel of Zuniga, to thank Don Balthasar for his good offices, and to
acquaint my friend Joseph with the favorable dispositions of the
prime minister, and my brilliant prospects in consequence.
CHAPTEE V.
THE PEIVATE CONVEESATION OF GIL BLAS WITH NAVARRO. HIS FIRST
EMPLOYMENT IN THE SERVICE OF THE COUNT D'OLIVAREZ.
WITH much trepidation of spirits, I told Joseph, as soon as I
encountered him, what a world of topics I had to deposit
in his private ear. He took me where we might be alone, when J
asked him, after having communicated a key to the whole transac-
tion up to the present time, what he thought of the business as it
stood. " I think," answered he, " that you are in a fair way to make
an enormous fortune. Everything turns out according to your
wishes : you have made yourself acceptable to the prime minister ;
and what must be taken for something in the account, I can render
you the same service as my uncle Melchior de Iq, Ronda, when you
attached yourself to the archiepiscopal establishment of Granada.
He spared you the trouble of finding out the weak side of that pre-
late and his principal officers, by discovering their different charac-
ters to you ; and it is my purpose, after his example, to bring you
perfectly acquainted with the count, his lady countess, and their
only daughter. Donna Maria de Guzman.
"The minister's parts are quick, his judgment penetrating, and
his talents altogether calculated for the formation of extensive pro-
jects. He affects the credit of universal genius, on the strength of
a showy smattering in general science ; so that there is no subject,
in his own opinion, too difficult to be decided on his mere authority.
He sets himself up for a practical lawyer, a complete general, and a
politician of thorough-paced sagacity. Add to all this, that he is
so obstinately w*edded to his own opinions as unchangeably to per-
severe in the path of his own chalking out, to the absolute contempt
ot better advice, for fear of seeming to be influenced by any good
sense or intelligence but what he would be thought to engross in
the resources of his own mind. Between ourselves, this blot in his
character may produce strange consequences, which it may be well
for the monarchy should indulgent Heaven for the defect of human
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 609
means avert ! As for his talents in council, he shines in debate by
the force of natural eloquence, and would write as well as he speaks
if he did not injudiciously affect a certain dignity of style, which
degenerates into affectation, quaintness, and obscurity. His modes
of thinking are peculiar to himself; he is capricious in conduct and
visionary in design. Here you have the picture of his mind, the
light and shade of his intellectual merits : the qualities of his heart
and disposition remain to be delineated. He is generous and warm
in his friendships. It is said that he is revengeful ; but would he
be a Spaniard if he were otherwise ? In addition to this, he has
been accused of ingratitude, for having driven the Duke of Uzeda
and Friar Lewis Aliaga into banishment, though he owed them,
according to common report, obligations of the most binding nature ;
and yet even this must not be looked into so narrowly under his
circumstances : there are few breasts capacious enough to afford
houseroom for two such opposite inmates as political ambition and
gratitude.
" Donna Agnes de Zuniga 6 Velasco, Countess of Olivarez," c6n-
tinued Joseph, " is a lady to whom it is impossible to impute mor«
than one fault, but that is a huge one ; for it consists in making a
market, and a market the most exorbitant in its terms, of her
natural influence over the mind of her husband. As for Donna
Maria de Guzman, who beyond all dispute is at this moment the
very first match in Spain, she is a lady of first-rate accomplish-
ments, and absolutely idolized by her father. Regulate your con-
duct upon these hints : make your court with art and plausibility
to these two ladies, and let it appear as if you were more devoted to
the Count of Olivarez than ever you were to the Duke of Lerma
before your forced excursion to Segovia ; you will become a leading
and powerful member of the administration.
" I should advise you, moreover," added he, " to see my master,
Don Balthasar, from time to time; for though you have no longer
any occasion for his interest to push you forward, it will not be
amiss to waste a little incense upon him. You stand very high in
his good opinion; preserve your footing there, and cultivate his
friendship ; it may stand you in some stead on any emergency." I
could not help observing that, as the uncle and nephew were in a
certain sort partners in the government of the state, there might
possibly be some little symptom of jealousy between brothers near
the throne. " On the contrary," answered he, "they are united by
the most confidential ties. Had it not been for Don Balthasar, the
Count of Olivarez might probably never have been prime minister;
for you are to know that after Philip the Third had paid the debt
of nature, all the adherents and partisans belonging to the house of
39
610 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAH.
Sandoval made a great stir, some in favor of the cardinal, and
others on his son's behalf; but my master, a greater adept in court
intrigue than any of them, and the count, who is nearly as great an
adept as hirasel-f, disconcerted all their measures, and took their
own so judiciously for the purpose of stepping into the vacant place
that their rivals had no chance against them. The Count of Oliva-
rez, being appointed prime minister, divided the duties with his
uncle, Don Balthasar; leaving foreign affairs to him, and taking
the home department to himself: the consequence is, that the bonds
of family friendship are drawn closer between these two noblemen
than if political influence had no share in their mutual interests :'
they are perfectly independent in their respective lines of business,
and live together on terms of good understanding which no intrigue
can possibly affect or alter."
Such was the substance of my conversation with Joseph, and the
advantage to be derived from it was my own to make the most of:
at all events, it was my duty to thank Signor de Zuniga for all the
influence he had the goodness to exert in my favor. He assured
me with infinite good-breeding that he should avail himself of every
opportunity as it arose to promote my wishes, and that he was very
glad his nephew had behaved so as to meet my ideas, because he
meant to refresh his memory in my behalf, being determined, as he
was pleased to say, to place it beyond all manner of doubt how far
he himself participated in all my views, and to make it evident
that, instead of one fast friend, I had two. In terms like these did
Don Balthasar, through mere friendship for Navarro, take the
moulding of my fortunes on himself.
On that same evening did I leave my paltry lodging to take up
my abode at the prime minister's, where I sat down to supper with
Scipio in my own suite of apartments. There were we both waited
on by the servants belonging to the household, who, as they stood
behind our chairs, while we were affecting the pomp and circum-
stance of political elevation, were more likely than not to be laugh-
ing in their sleeves at the pantomime they had been ordered by
their manager to play in our presence. When they had taken away
and left us to ourselves, my secretary, being no longer under re-
straint, gave vent to a thousand wild imaginations which his
sprightly temper and inventive hopes engendered in his fancy. On
my part, though by no means cold or insensible to the brilliant
prospects which were opening on my vi.ew, I did not as yet yield
in the least degree to the weakness of being thrust aside from the
right line of my philosophy by temporal allurements. So much
otherwise, that on going to bed I fell into a sound sleep, without
being haunted in ray dreams by those phantoms of flattering delu-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 611
sion which might have gained admittance with no severe question
from a corruptible door-keeper. The ambitious Scipio, on the con-
trary, tossed and tu-mbled all night in the agitation of wretched
contrivance. Whenever he dozed a little imp took possession of
his brain, with a pen behind its ear, working out by all the rules
of arithmetic the bulky sum total of his daughter Seraphina's mar-
riage portion.
No sooner had I got my clothes on the next morning than a
message came from his lordship. I flew like lightning at the sum-
mons, when his excellency said, " Now, then, Santillane, suppose
you give us a specimen of your talents for business. You say that
the Duke of Lerma used to give you state papers to bring into
ofiicial form ; and I have one, by way of experiment, on which you
shall try your skill. The subject you will easily comprehend : it
turns upon an exposition of public affairs, such as to throw an
artificial light on the first appearance of the new ministry, and to
prejudice the public in its favor. I have already whispered it about
by my emissaries that every department of the state was completely
disorganized, that the talents which preceded us were no talents at
all ; and the object at present is to impress both court and city, by
a formal declaration, with the idea that our aid is absolutely neces-
sary to save the monarchy itself from sinking. On this theme you
may expatiate till the populace become lockjawed with astonish-
ment, and the sober part of the public are gravely argued out of all
prepossession in favor of the discarded party. By way of contrast,
you will talk of the dignus vindice nodus, taking care to translate it
into Spanish; and boast of the measures adopted, under the new
order of things, to secure the permanent glory of the king's reign,
to give perpetual prosperity to his dominions, and to confer per-
fect, unchangeable happiness on his good people."
His lordship, having given out the general subject of my thesis,
left me with a paper containing the heads of charges, whether just
or unjust, against the late administration ; and I remember perfectly
well that there were ten articles, whose lightest word, even of the
lightest article, would harrow up the soul of a true Spaniard, and
make his knotted and combined locks to part. That the current of
my fancy might experience no interruption, he shut me into a little
closet near his own, where the spirit of poetry might possess me in
all its freedom and independence. My best faculties were called
forth to compose a statement of affairs commensurate with my own
concern in the sweeping of the new brooms. My first object was to
lay open the nakedness and abandonment of the kingdom ; the
finances in a state of bankruptcy, the civil list and immediate re-
sources of the crown pawned ,fifty times over, the navy unpaid, dis-
612 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
mantled, and iu mutiny. All this hideous delineation was referred
for its justice and accuracy to the wrongheadeduess and stupidity
of government at the close of the last reign, and the doctrine most
strongly enforced that unexampled wisdom and patriotism only
could ward off the fatal consequences. In short, the monarchy
could only be sustained on the shoulders of our political sufficiency
and reforming prudence. The ex-ministry were so cruelly bela-
bored that the Duke of Lerma's ruin, according to the terms of my
syllogism, was the salvation of Spain. To own the truth, thougli
my professions were in the spirit of Christian charity towards that
nobleman, I was not sorry to give him a sly rub in the exercise of
my function. 0 man ! man! what a compound of candor-breathing
satire and splenetic impartiality art thou !
Towards the conclusion, having finished my frightful portraiture
of overhanging evils, I endeavored to allay the storm my art had
raised, by making futurity as bright as the past had been gloomy.
The Count of Olivarez was brought in at the close, like the tutelary
deity of an ancient commonwealth in the crisis of its fate. I prom-
ised more than paganism ever feigned, or chivalry fancied in the
wildest of its crusading projects. In a word, I so exactly executed
what the new minister meant that he seemed not to know his own
hints again, when drawn out in my emphatic and appropriate lan-
guage. " Santillane," said he, " do you know that this is more
like the composition one paight expect from a secretary of state than
like that of a private secretary ? I can no longer be surprised that
ihe Duke of Lerma was fond of calling your talents into action.
Your style is concise, and by no means inelegant ; but it creeps
rather too much in the level paths of nature." At the same time
pointing out the passages which did not hit his fancy, he corrected
them ; and I gathered from the touches he threw in that Navarro
was right in saying he affected sententious wit, but mistook for it
quaint and stale conceits. Nevertheless, though he preferred the
stately, or rather the grotesque, in writing, he suffered two-thirds of
my performance to stand without alteration, and by way of proving
how entirely he was satisfied, sent me three hundred pistoles by
Don Raymond after dinner.
ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS. 613
CHAPTER VI.
THE APPLICATION OF THE THREE HUNDRED PISTOLES, AND SCIPIO'S
COMMISSION CONNECTED WITH THEM.
THIS handsome present of the minister furnished Scipio with a
new subject of congratulation, by reason of our second appear-
ance at court. " You may remark," said he, " that fortune is pre-
paring a load of aggrandizement to lay on your lordship's shoulders.
Are you still sorry for having turned your back on solitude ? May
the Count of Olivarez live forever I He is a very different sort of a
master from his predecessor. The Duke of Lerma, with all your
devotion to his service, left you to live upon suction for months,
without a pistole to bless yourself with ; and the count has already
made you a present which you could have had no reason to expect
but after a course of long service.
" I should very much like," added he, "that the lords of Leyva
should be witnesses of your great success, or at least that they
should be informed of it." " It is high time, indeed," answered I,
" and I meant to speak with you on that subject. They must doubt-
less be impatient to hear of my proceedings ; but I waited till my
fate was fixed, and till I could decide for certain whether I should
stay at court or not. Now that I am sure of my destination, you
have only to set out for Valencia whenever you please, and to
acquaint those noblemen with my present situation, which I con-
sider as their doing, since it is evident that but for them I should
never have resolved on my journey to Madrid." " My dear master,"
cried the son of Bohemian accident, " what joy shall I communicate
by relating what has happened to you I Why am I not already at
the gates of Valencia? But I shall be there forthwith. Don
Alphonso's two horses are ready in the stable. I shall take one of
my lord's livery servants with me. Besides that company is pleas-
ant on the road, you know very well the effect of official parade in
making impression on the natives of a provincial town."
I could not help laughing at my secretary's foolish vanity; and
yet, with vanity perhaps more than equal to his own, I left him to
do as he pleased. "Go about your business," said I, "and make
the best of your way back, for I have another commission to give
you. I mean to send you to the Asturias with some money for my
mother. Through neglect, I have suffered the time to elapse when
I promised to remit her a hundred pistoles, and pledged you to
make the payment in person. Such engagements ought to be held
sacred by a son ; and I reproach myself with inaccuracy in the
614 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
Qbservance of mine." " Sir," answered Scipio, "within six weeks
I shall bring you an account of both your commissions, having
opened my budget to the lords of Leyvji, looked in at your country-
house, and taken a peep at the town of Oviedo, the recollection of
which I cannot admit into my mind without turning over three-
fourths of the inhabitants, and one-half of the remaining quarter, to
the corrective discipline of that infernal executioner who is sup-
posed to be kept on foot for the purpose of castigating sinners." I
then counted down one hundred pistoles to that same son of a wan-
dering mother for my honored parent's annuity, and another hun-
dred for himself, meaning that he should perform his long journey
without grumbling on my account by the way.
Some days after his departure, his lordship sent our memorial to
press, and it was no sooner published than it became the topic of
conversation in every circle throughout Madrid. The people,
enamored of novelty, took up this well-written statement of their
own wretchedness with fond partiality ; the derangement and ex-
haustion of the finances, painted with a mixture of truth and
poetry, excited a strong feeling of popular indignation against the
Duke of Lerma; and if these paper bullets of the brain, cast in the
political armory of a rival, failed to carry victory with them in the
opinions of all mankind, they were, at all events, hailed with tri-
umph by the most clamorous of our own partisans. As for the
magnificent promises which the Count of Olivarez threw in, and
among others that of keeping the machine of state in motion by a
system of economy, without adding to the public burdens, they were
caught at with avidity by the citizens at large, and considered as
pledges of an enlightened and patriotic policy, so that the whole
city resounded with the acclamation of panegyric and congratula-
tion on the opening of new prospects.
The minister, delighted to have attained his end so easily, which
in that publication had only been to draw popularity upon himself,
was now determined to seize the substance as well as catch at the
shadow, by an act of unquestionable credit with the subject, and
high utility to the king's service. For that purpose he had recourse
to the Emperor Galba's contrivance, consisting in a forced regurgi-
tation of ill-gotten spoils from individuals who had made large for-
tunes— hell and their own consciences best knew how — in the
superintendence of the royal expenditure. When he had squeezed
these sponges till they were dry again, and had filled the king's cof-
fers with the drainings, he undertook to render the reform perma-
nent by abolishing all pensions, not excepting his own, and curtail-
ing the gratuities too frequently bestowed on favorites out of the
prince's privy purse. To succeed in this design, which he could not
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 615
carry into effect without changing the face of the government, he
charged me with the composition of a new state paper, furnishing
the substance and the form from his own idea. He then advised me
to raise my style as much as possible above the level of the ordinary
simplicity, and to give an air of more eloquence to my phraseology.
"A hint is sufficient, my lord," said I; "your excellency wishes t"
unite sublimity with illumination, and it shall be so." I shut m^
self up in the same closet where I had already worked so succe.^; i
fully, and sat down stiffly to my task, first calling to my aid the.
lofty and clear perceptions, the noble and sonorous expressions of
my old instructor, the Archbishop of Granada.
I began by laying it down as a first maxim of political philosophy
that the vital functions, the respiration, as it were, of all monarchy,
depended on the strict administration of the finances ; that in our
particular case, that duty became imperiously urgent, irresistibly
impressing on our consciences ; and that the revenue should be con-
sidered as the nerves and sinews of Spain, to hold her rivals in check
and keep her enemies in awe. After this general declaration, I
pointed out to the sovereign — for to him the memorial was ad-
dressed— that by cutting down all pensions and perquisites depend-
ent on the ordinary income, he would not thereby deprive himself
of that truly royal pleasure, a princely munificence towards those of
his subjects who had established a fair claim to his favors ; because,
without drawing upon his treasury, he had the means of distributing,
more acceptable rewards ; that for one branch of service, there were
viceroyalties, lieutenancies, orders of merit, and all sorts of military
commissions ; for another, high judicial situations with salaries an-
nexed, civil offices of magistracy with sounding titles to give them
consequence ; and though last, not least, all the temporal possessions
of the church to animate the piety of its spiritual pastors.
This memorial, which was much longer than the first, occupied
me nearly three days ; but as luck would have it, my performance
was exactly to my master's mind, who, finding it written with sen-
tentious cogency, and bristled up with metaphors in the declamatory
oarts, complimented me in the highest terms. "That is vastly well
expressed indeed," said he, laying his finger on a passage here and
there, and picking out all the most inflated sentences he could find :
" that language bears the stamp of fine composition, and might pass
for the production of a classic. Courage, my friend ! I foresee that
your services will be worth their weight in gold." And yet, not-
withstanding the applauses he lavished on my classical composition,
a few of his own heightening touches, he thought, would make it
read still better. He put a good deal of his own stuff into it, and
the medley was manufactured into a piece of eloquence which wan
616 ADVEXTUHES OF GIL BLAS.
considered as unanswerable by the king and all the court. The
whole city joined in opinion with the higher orders, deriving the
most flattering hopes of the future from these grand promises, and
concluding that the monarchy must recover its pristine splendor
during the ministry of so illustrious a character. His excellency,
finding that my sermon on economy was fraught with practical in-
ferences of utility to him, was kind enough to wish that I should
profit by the exercise of my own talents. In conformity therefore
with his new system of patronage, he gave me an annuity of five
hundred crowns on the commandery of Castille ; and the acceptance
of it was so much the more palatable, as no dirty work had been done
for it, but it was honestly though cheaply earned.
CHAPTER VIL
GIL BLAS MEETS WITH HIS FRIEND FABRICIO ONCE MORE. THE CIB-
CUMSTANCES DESCRIBED.
~^T~OTHING gave his lordship greater pleasure than to hear the
1 \l general decision of Madrid on the conduct of his administra-
tion. Not a day passed but he inquired what they were saying of
him in the political world. He kept spies in pay, to bring him an
exact account of what was going on in the city. They particularized
the most trivial discourses which they overheard ; and their orders
being to suppress nothing, his self-love was grazed now and then,
for the people have a way of ^bolting out home truths, without any
nice calculation where they may glance.
Finding that the count loved political small talk, I made it my
business to frequent places of public resort after dinner, and to chime
in with the conversation of genteel people whenever opportunity
offered. Should the measures of government happen to be canvassed
among them, I pricked up my ears, and greedily took in their dis-
course ; if anything worth repeating was said, his excellency was
sure to hear of it. It can scarcely be necessary to hint that I
never carried home anything which was not likely to pay for the
porterage.
One day, returning from one of these little conversational parties,
my road lay in front of a hospital. It occurred to me to go in. I
walked through two or three wards filled with diseased patients, and
examined their beds to see that they were properly taken care of.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 617 -
Among these unhappy wretches, whom I could not look at without
the most painful feelings, I observed one whose features struck me:
it surely could be no other than Fabricio, my countryman and
chum ! To look at him more closely, I drew near his bedside, and
finding, beyond a possibility of doubt, that it was the poet Nunez, I
stopped to look at him for a few seconds without saying a word. He
also fixed his regards on me. At length breaking silence, " Do not
my eyes deceive me?" said I. "Is it indeed Fabricio, and here?'*
" It is indeed," answered he, coldly, " and you need not wonder at
it. Since we parted, I have been working indefatigably at the trade
of an author : I have written novels, plays, and works of genius in
every department. My brain is fairly spun out, and here I am."
I could not help laughing at such a sketch of literary biography,
and still more at the serious air of the accompanying action.
" What !" cried I, " has your muse at length brought you to this
pass ? Has she played you such a jade's trick as this ?" " Even
as you witness," answered he ; " this establishment is a sort of half •
pay receptacle for invalids on the muster-roll of disabled wit. You
have acted discreetly, my good friend, to lay yourself out for promo-
tion in a different line. But they tell me you are no longer a cour-
tier, and that your prospects in political life were all blasted ; nay,
they went so far as to affirm that you were committed to close custody
by the king's order." " They told you no more than the truth,"
replied I ; " the delightful vision of political eminence wherein you
left me last soon shifted the scene of my incoherent dreams to a
prison and complete destitution. But for all that, my friend, here
you behold me again in a better plight than ever." " That is quite
out of the question," said Nunez : " your deportment is discreet and
decent ; you have not that supercilious and devil-take-the-hindmost
sort of aspect which good keep communicates to the human face."
" The reverses of this checkered life," replied I, " have brought me
down to the level of the more modest virtues ; I have taken a lesson
in the school of adversity, to enjoy the possession of a good stud
without riding the great horse."
" Tell me then candidly," cried Fabricio, raising his head upon
his hand with his elbow upon the pillow, "what your present occu-
pation can possibly be. A steward perhaps to some nobleman out
at elbows, or man of business to some rich widow 1" " Something
better than either the one or the other," rejoined I; "but excuse
me from saying more at present: another time your curiosity shall
be satisfied. It is enough at present to assure you that my means
are equal to my inclination, and that you may command indepen-
dence through me ; but then you must submit to an embargo on
your wit, and a non-intercourse act between you and the faculty of
618 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
writing, whether in verse or prose. Can you make this sacrifice to
my friendship ?" " I have already made it to the powers above,"
said he, " in my last critical sickness. A Dominican made me
forswear poetry, as an amusement bordering on criminality, but at
all events beside the turnpike-road of good sense." " I wish you
joy, my dear Nunez," replied I ; " but beware of a revoke." "There
is not the least danger on that head," rejoined he : " the Muses and
I have agreed on terras of separation : just as you came in at that
door, I was conning over a farewell ode." " Good Master Fabricio,"
said I, with a wise swagging to and fro of my head, " it is a doubt-
ful question whether your vow of abjuration ought to pass current
with the Dominican and myself: you seem over head and ears in
love with those virgins incarnate." "No, no," contended he,
peevishly; "I have cut .the connection asunder. Nay, more, I
have quarrelled with their keepers, the public. The readers of
these days do not deserve an author of more genius than them-
selves : I should be sorry to write down to their comprehension.
You are not to suppose that this is the language of disgust ; it is my
sincere and well-weighed opinion. Applause and hisses are just the
same to me. It is a toss-up who fails and who succeeds: the wit
of to-day is the blockhead of to-morrow. What cursed fools our
dramatists must be, to care for anything but their poundage when
their plays happen to be received I It is all very well for a few
nights I But only fancy a revival at the end of twenty years, and
what a figure they will cilt thenl The audiences of the present
day turn up their noses at the stock pieces of the last age, and it is
a question whether their taste will fare better with their more
critical descendants. If that conjecture be probable, the inventors
of clap-traps now wijl be the butt of cat-calls hereafter. It is just
the same with novel writers, and all other manufacturers of un-
necessary literature ; they strut and fret for an hour, and then are
no more seen or heard of. The glories of successful authorship are
the mere vapors of a murky atmosphere, meteors of a marsh, foul
coruscations of a dunghill, cathedral tapers to put out the galaxy,
blue flames of coarse paper held over a candle."
Though these caricatures of rival renown were the mere creations
of jealousy in the poet of the Asturias, it was not my business to
correct his ill temper. "I am delighted," said I,. "that wit and
you have had so serious a quarrel, and that the diarrhoea of your in-
ventive faculties has been cured by an astringent. You may depend
on it, I will put you in the way of a good livelihood, without draw-
ing deep upon your intellectual credit." "So much the better,"
cried he ; " wit smells like carrion in my nostrils, or rather like a
pungent and deleterious perfume ; fragrant to the sense, but corro-
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 619
sive to the vitals." "I heartily wish, my dear Fabricio," resumed
I, "that you may always keep in that mind. Only wash your
hands completely of poetry, and, you may depend on it, I will
enable you to keep your head above water without picking or
stealing. In the meanwhile," added I, slipping a purse of sixty pis-
toles into his hand, " accept this as a slight instance of my regard."
" O friend like the friends in days of yore," cried the son of the
barber Nunez, out of his wits with joy and gratitude, "it was
Heaven itself which sent you into this hospital, whence your good-
ness is now discharging me!" Before we parted, I gave him my
address, and invited him to come and see me aa soon as his health
would permit. He opened his eyes as an oyster does its shell, when
I told him that I lodged under the minister's roof. "O illustrious
Gil Bias !" said he, " great as Pompey and fortunate as Sylla, whose
lot it is to be hand in glove with the dictators of modern times ! I
rejoice most disinterestedly in your good fortune, because it i8 so
very evident what a noble use you make of it."
CHAPTER VIII.
OIL BLAS FBOGRESSES IN HIS MASTEB'S AFFECTIONS. SCIPIO'S BETUBN
TO madeid; an account of his JOUENEY.
THE Count of Olivarez, whom I shall henceforth call my lord
duke, because the king was pleased to confer that dignity on
him about this time, was affected with a weakness which I did not
suffer to pass without taking toll ; it was a furious desire of being
beloved. The moment he fancied that any one really liked him,
his heart was caught in a trap. This was not lost upon my keen
sense of character. It was not enough to do precisely as he ordered ;
I superadded a zeal in the execution which made him mine. I laid
myself out to his liking in everything, and provided beforehand for
his most eccentric wishes.
By conduct like this, which almost always answers, I became by
degrees my master's favorite ; and he, on the other hand, as if he
had got round to my blind side also, wormed himself into my affec-
tions by giving me his own. So forward did I get into his good
graces as to halve his confidence with Signor Camero, his principal
secretary.
Camero had played my game, and that so successfully as to be
620 ADVENrUKES OF GIL JJLAS.
entrusted with the greater mysteries. We two, therefore, were the
keepers of the prime minister's conscience, and held the keys of all
his secrets ; with this difference, that Carnero was consulted on state
affairs, myself about his private concerns, dividing the business into
two separate departments; and we were each of us equally pleased
with our own. We lived together without jealousy, and certainly
without attachment. I had every reason to be satisfied with my
quarters, where continual intercourse gave me an opportunity of
prying into the duke's inmost soul, which was a masked battery to
all mankind besides, but plain as a pike-staff to me, when he no
longer questioned the sincerity of my attachment to him.
" Santillane," said he one day, "you were witness to the Duke of
Lerma's possession of an authority more like that of an absolute
monarch than a favorite minister ; and yet I am still happier than
he was at the very summit of his good fortune. He had two formi-
dable enemies in his own son, the Duke of Uzeda, and in the con-
fessor of Philip the Third ; but there is no one now about the king
who has credit enough to stand in my way, or even, as I am aware,
the slightest inclination to do me mischief.
" It is true," continued he, " that on my accession to the ministry,
it was my first care to remove all hangers-on from about the prince
but those of my own family or connections. By means of vice-
royalties or embassies I got rid of all the nobility who, by their
personal merit, could have interfered with me in the good graces of
the sovereign, whom I mean to engross entirely to myself; so that
I may say at the present moment, no statesman of the time holds
me in check by the ascendency of his personal influence. You see,
Gil Bias, I open my mind to you. As I have reason to think that
you are mine, heart and soul, I have chosen to put you in possession
of everything. You are a clever youth, with reflection, penetration,
and discretion ; in short, you are just the very creature to acquit
yourself of all possible little offices in all possible directions ; you
are also a young fellow of very promising parts, and must, in the
nature of things, be in my interests."
There was no standing the attack which these flattering represen-
tations were calculated to make upon the weakly-defended fortress
of my philosophy. Unauthorized whims of avarice arid ambition
mounted suddenly into my head, and brought forward certain senti-
ments of political speculation which were supposed to have been in
abeyance. I gave the minister an assurance that I should fulfill his
intentions to the utmost of my power, and held myself in readiness
to execute, without examination or interference, all the orders it
might be his plea.sure to give me.
While I was thus disposed to take Fortune in her affable fit, Scipio
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 621
returned from his peregrination. " I have no long story for you,"
said he. "The lords of Leyva were delighted at your reception
from the king, and at the manner in which the Count of Olivarez
and you came to understand one another."
" My friend," said I, " you would have delighted them still more
had you been able to tell them on what a footing I am now with
my lord. My advances since your departure have been prodigious."
" Happy man be his dole, my dear master," answered he : " my
mind forebodes that we shall cut a figure."
" Let us change the subject," said I, " and talk of Oviedo. You
have been in the Asturias. How did you leave my mother?" "Ah,
sir 1" replied he, with an undertaker's decency of countenance, " I
have a melancholy tale to tell you from that quarter." " Oh,
heaven !" exclaimed I, " my mother, then, is dead !" " Six months
since," said ray secretary, " did the good lady pay the debt of nature,
and your uncle, Signor Gil Perez, about the same period."
My mother's death preyed upon my susceptible nature, though in
my childhood I had not received from her those little fondling indi-
cations of maternal love so necessary to amalgamate with the more
serious convictions of filial duty. The good canon, too, came in for
his share in bringing me up according to the rules of godliness and
honesty. My serious grief was not lasting ; but I never lost sight
of a certain tender recollection, whenever the Idea of my dear rela-
tions shot across my mind.
CHAPTEB IX.
HOW MY LORD DUKE MARRIED HIS ONLY DAUGHTER, AND TO WHOM.
THE BITTER CONSEQUENCES OF THAT MARRIAGE.
YERy shortly after the son of Cosclina's return, my lord duke
fell into a brown study, and it lasted a complete week. I
conceived, of course, that he was brooding over some great measure
of government ; but family concerns were the object of his musings.
" Gil Bias," said he one day after dinner, " you may perceive that
my mind is a good deal distracted. Yes, my good friend, I am pon-
dering over an affair of the utmost consequence to my feelings. You
shall know all about it.
'• My daughter, Donna Maria," pursued he, " is marriageable, and
of course beset with suitors. The Count de Ni6bl6s, eldest son of
622 ADVENTURES OF OIL BIAS.
the Duke de Medina Sidonia, head of the Guzman family, and Don
Lewis de Haro, eldest son of the Marquis de Carpio and my eldest
Bister, are the two most likely competitors. The latter, in particular,
is superior in point of merit to all his rivals, so that the whole court
has fixed on him for my son-in-law. Nevertheless, without entering
into private motives for treating him, as well as the Count de Nie-
bles, with a refusal, ray present views are fixed upon Don Ramires
Nunez de Guzman, Marquis of Toral, head of the Guzmans d'Abra-
dos, another branch of the family. To that nobleman and his pro-
geny, by my daughter, I mean to leave all my property, and to
entail on them the title of Count d'Olivarez, with the additional
dignity of grandee ; so that my grandchildren and their descendants,
issue of the Abrados and Olivarez branch, will be considered as
taking precedence in the himse of Guzman.
" Tell me now, Santillane," added he, " do you not like my pro-
ject?" " Excuse me, my lord," pleaded I, with a shrug; "the de-
sign is worthy of the genius which gave birth to it : my only fear is
lest the Duke of Medina Sidonia should think fit to be out of humor
at it." " Let him take it as he list," resumed the minister; "I give
myself very little concern about that. His branch is no favorite
with me : they have choused that of Abrados out of their precedence
and many of their privileges. I shall be far less affected by his ill
humors than by the "disappointment of my sister, the Marchioness
de Carpio, when she sees my daughter slip through her son's fingers.
But let that be as it may, I am determined to please myself, and Don
Ramires shall be the man ; it is a settled point."
My lord duke having announced this firm resolve, did not carry it
into effect without giving a new proof of his singular policy. He
presented a memorial to the king, entreating him and the queen, in
concert, to do him the honor of taking the choice of a husband for
his daughter on themselves, at the same time acquainting them with
the pretensions of the suitors, and professing to abide by their elec-
tion ; but he took care, when naming the Marquis de Toral, to
evince clearly whither his own wishes pointed. The king, there-
fore, with a blind deference for his minister, answered thus : —
" I think that Don Ramires Nunez deserves Donna Maria ; but
determine for yourself. The match of your own choosing will be
most agreeable to me.
"The King."
The minister made a point of showing this answer everywhere ;
and affecting to consider it as a royal mandate, hastened his daugh-
ter's marriage with the Marquis de Toral; a death-blow to the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 623
hopes of the Marchioness de Carpio and the rest of the Guzmans
who had been speculating on an alliance with Donna Maria. These
rival players of a losing game, not being able to break off the match,
put the best face they could upon it, and made the fashionable
world resound with their costly celebrations of the event. A super-
ficial observer might have fancied that the whole family was de-
lighted with the arrangement ; but the pouters and ill-wishers were
soon revenged most cruelly at my lord duke's expense. Donna
Maria was brought to bed of a daughter at the end of ten months ;
the infant was still-born, and the mother died a few days afterwards.
What a loss for a father who had no eyes, as one may say, but for
his daughter, and in her loss felt the miscarriage of his design to
quash the right of precedence in the branch of Medina Sidonia I
Stung to the quick by his misfortune, he shut himself up for several -
days, and was visible to no one but myself — a sincere sympathizer,
from the recollection of my own experience in his sorrow. The occa-
sion drew forth fresh tears to Antonia's memory. The death of the
Marchioness de Toral, under circumstances so similar, tore open a
wound imperfectly skinned over, and so exasperated my affliction,
that the minister, though be had enough to do with his own suffer-
ings, could not help taking notice of mine. It seemed unaccount-
able how exactly his feelings were echoed. " Gil Bias," said he,
one day, when my tears seemed to feed upon indulgence, "my
greatest consolation consists in having a bosom friend so much alive
to all my distresses." " Ah ! my lord," answered I, giving him the
full credit of my amiable tenderness, " I must be ungrateful and de-
generate in my nature if I did not lament as for myself. Can I be
aware that you mourn over a daughter of accomplished merit, whom
you loved so tenderly, without shedding tears of fellow-feeling? No,
my lord, I am too much naturalized to you on the side of obligation
not to take a permanent interest in all your pleasures and disap-
pointmenta."
CHAPTEE X.
GIL BLA8 MEETS WITH THE POET NUNEZ BY ACCIDENT, AND LBABN8
THAT HE HAS WEITTEN A TRAGEDY.
THE minister began to pick up his crumbs, and myself conse-
quently to get into feather again, when one evening I went put
alone in the carriage to take an airing. On the road I met the poet
624 ADYENTUltES OF GIL BIAS.
of the Asturias, who had been lost to my knowledge ever since his
discharge from the hospital. He was very decently dressed. I called
him up, gave him a seat in my carriage, and we drove together to
St, Jerome's meadow.
"Master Nunez," said I, "it is Incky for me to have met you acci-
dentally; for otherwise I should not have had the pleasure." . , .
"No severe speeches, Santillane," interrupted he with considerable
eagerness; "I must own frankly that I did not mean to keep up
your acquaintance, and I will tell you the reason. You promised
me a good situation provided I abjured poetry; but I have found a
very excellent one on condition of keeping my talents in constant
play. I accepted the latter alternative, as squaring best with my
own humor. A friend of mine got me an employment under Don
Bertrand Gomez del Ribero, treasurer of the king's galleys. This
Don Bertrand, wanting to have a wit in his pay, and finding my
turn for poetical composition very much in unison with his own
sense of what is excellent, has chosen me in preference to five or six
authors who ofiered themselves as candidates for the place of his
private secretarj'."
" I am delighted at the news, my dear Fabricio," said I, " for this
Don Bertrand must be very rich." " Eich indeed !" answered he ;
" they say that he does not know himself how much he is worth.
However that may be, my business under him is as follows : He
prides himself on his turn for gallantry, at the same time wishing
to pass for a man of genius ; he therefore keeps up an epistolary
intercourse of wit with several ladies who have an infinite deal, and
borrows my brain to indite such letters as may amplify the opinion
of his sprightliness and elegance. I write to one for him in verse,
to another in prose, and sometimes carry the letters myself, to
prove the agility of my heels as well as the ingenuity of my
head."
" But you do not tell me," said I, " what I most want to know.
Are you well paid for your epigrammatic cards of compliment ?"
" Yes, most plentifully," answered he. " Rich men are not always
open-handed ; and I know some who are downright curmudgeons ;
but Don Bertrand has behaved in the most handsome manner.
Besides a salary of two hundred pistoles, I receive some little occa-
sional perquisites from him, sufficient to set me above the world,
and enable me to live on an equal footing with some choice spirits
of the literary circles, who are willing, like myself, to set care at
defiance." " But then," resumed I, " has your treasurer critical
skill enough to distinguish the beauties of a performance from its
blemishes?" "The least likely man in the world," answered Nunez;
"a flippant-tongued smatterer, with a miserdble assortment of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 625
materials for judging. Yet he gives himself out for chief justice
and lord president of Apollo's tribunal. His decisions are advent-
urous, if not always lucky ; while his opinions are maintained in
so high a tone and with so bullying a challenge of infallibility, that
nine times out of ten the issue of an argument is silence, though
not conviction, on the part of the opponent, as a measure of pre-
caution against the gathering storm of foul language and contempt-
uous sneers.
" You may readily suppose," continued he, " that I take especial
care never to contradict him, though it almost exceeds human pa-
tience to forbear ; for, to say nothing of the unpalatable phrases
that might be hailed down on my defenceless head, I should stand
a very good chance of being shoved by the shoulders out of doors.
I therefore am discreet enough to approve what he praises, and to
condemn without mitigation or appeal whatever he is pleased to find
fault with. By this easy compliance — for poets are compelled to
acquire a knack of knocking under to those by whom they live, not
even excepting their booksellers — I have gained the esteem and
friendship of my patron. He has employed me to write a tragedy
on a plot of his own. I have executed it under his inspection ; and
if the piece succeeds, a percentage of the laud and honor must
accrue to him."
I asked our poet what was the title of his tragedy. He informed
me that it was " The Count of Saldagna," and that it would come
out in two or three days. I told him that I wished it all possible
success, and thought so favorably of his genius as to entertain con-
siderable hopes. " So do I," said he ; " but hope never tells a more
flattering tale than in the ear of a dramatic author. You might as
well attempt to fix the wind by nailing the weathercock as specu-
late on the reception of a new piece with an audience."
At length the day of performance arrived. I could not go to the
play, being prevented by official business. The only thing to be
done was to send Scipio, that he might bring me back word how it
went oflF, for I was sincerely interested in the event. After waiting
impatiently for his return, in he came with a long face, which boded
no good. " Well," said I, " how was ' The Count of Saldagna' wel-
comed by the critics?" "Very roughly," answered he; "never
was there a play more brutally handled ; I left the house in high
anger at the injustice and insolence of the pit." " It serves him
right," rejoined I. "Nunez is no better than a madman, to be
always running his head against the stone walls of a theatre. If
he was in his senses, could he have preferred the hisses and catcalls
of an unfeeling mob to the ease and dignity he might have com-
manded under my patronage?" Thus did I inveigh with friendly
40
G2G . ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
vehemence against the poet of the Asturias, and disturb the even
tenor of my mind for an event which the siiflerer hailed with joy,
and inserted among the well-omened particulars of his journal.
He came to see me within two days, and appeared in high spirits.
"Santillane," cried he, " 1 am come to receive your congratulations.
My fortune is made, my friend, though my play is marred. You
know what a mistake they made on the first and last night of ' The
Count of SaUhigna ;' hissed instead of applauding ! You would
have thought all the wild beasts of the forest had been let loose,
with their ears fortified against the softening power of poetry ; but
the more they bellowed, the better I fared, and they have roared me
into a provision for life."
There was no knowing what to make of this incident in the
drama of our poet's adventures. "What is all this, Fabricio?"
said I ; " how can theatrical damnation have conjured up such
Elysian ecstasy?" "It is exactly so," answered he; "I told you
before that Don Bertrandhad thrown in some of the circumstances;
and he was fully convinced that there was no defect but in the
taste of the spectators. They might be very good judges ; but if
they were, he was no judge at all ! ' Nunez,' said he this morning,
' " Victrix causa Dils placuit, sed victa Catoni."*
Your piece has been ill received by the public ; but against that
you may place my entire approbation, and thus you ought to set
your heart at rest. By way of something to balance the bad taste
of the age, I shall settle an annuity of two thousand crowns on you :
go to my solicitor, and let him draw the deed.' We have been about
it : the treasurer has signed and sealed ; my first quarter is paid in
advance." ...
I wished Fabricio joy on the unhappy fate of "The Count of
Saldagna ;" and probably most authors would have envied his failure
more than all the successes that ever succeeded. "You are in the
right," continued he, " to prefer my fortune to my fame. What a
lucky peal of disapprobation in double choir I If the public had
chosen to ring the changes on my merits rather than my misdeeds,
what would they have done for my pocket? A mere paltry nothing.
The common pay of the theatre might have kept me from starving ;
but the wind of popular malice has blown me a comfortable pen-
sion, engrossed on safe and legal parchment."
* Members of Parliament, and the ladies, wiU probably expect a translation of these
hard words; but I refer the former to their dictionaries, to which they bade a long
farewell on leaving Eton or Harrow, and the latter to an extended paraphrase of five
acts in the tragedy of Cato. Those of the softer sex who may think the Stoic phil-
osophy rude and uncouth will feel their nerves vibrate in unison with the love scenes.
— Tbanslatob.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 627
CHAPTER XI.
SANTILLANE GIVES SCIPIO A SITUATION ; THE LATTER SETS OUT FOR
NEW SPAIN.
MY secretary could not look at the unexpected good luck of
Nunez the poet without envy ; he talked of nothing else for
a week. "The whims of that baggage Fortune," said he, "are
most unaccountable : she delights to turn her lottery wheel into the
lap of a sorry author, while she deals out her disappointments like
a stepmother to the race of good ones. I should have no objection,
though, if she would throw me up a prize in one of her vertical pro-
gresses." " That is likely enough to happen," said I, " and sooner
than you imagine. Here you are in her temple ; for it is scarcely
too presumptuous to call the house of a prime minister the temple
of Fortune, where favors are conferred by wholesale, and votaries
grow fat on the spoils of her altar." " That is very true, sir,"
answered he; "but we must have patience, and wait till the happy
moment comes." "Take my advice while it is worth having,
Scipio," replied I, " and make your mind easy ; perhaps you are on
the eve of some good appointment." And' so it turned out; for
within a few days an opportunity offered of employing him ad-
vantageously in my lord duke's service ; and I did not suffer the
happy moment to pass by.
I was engaged in chat one morning with Don Raymond Capons,
the prime minister's steward, and our conversation turned on the
sources of his excellency's income. "My lord," said he, "enjoys
the commanderies of all the military orders, yielding a revenue of
forty thousand crowns a year; and he is only obliged to wear the
cross of Alcantara. Moreover, his three offices of great chamber-
lain, master of the horse, and high chancellor of the Indies, bring
him in an income of two hundred thousand crowns ; and yet all
this is nothing in comparison of the immense sums which he
receives through other transatlantic channels; but you will be
puzzled to guess how. When vessels clear out from Seville or
Lisbon for those parts of the world, he ships wine, oil, grain, and
other articles, the produce of his own estate; and his consignments
are duty free. With that perquisite in his pocket, he sells his mer-
chandise for four times its current price in Spain, and then lays out
the money in spices, coloring materials, and other things which
cost next to nothing in the new world, and are sold dear in Europe.
Already has he realized some millions by this traffic, without
detracting from the dues of his royal master.
628 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
" You will easily account for it," continued he, " that the people
concerned in carrying on this trade return with great fortunes in
their pockets ; for my lord thinks it but reasonable that they should
divide their diligence between his business and their own."
That shrewd son of chance and opportunity, of whom we are
speaking, overheard our conversation, and could not help interrupt-
ing Don Raymond to the following purport : " Upon my word,
Signor Caporis, I should like to be one of those people ; for I am
fond of travelling, and have long wished to see Mexico." " Your
inclinations as a tourist shall soon be gratified," said the steward,
" if Signor de Santillane will not stand in the way of your wishes.
However particular I may think it my duty to be about the persons
whom I send to the West Indies in that capacity, — and they are all
of my appointment, — you shall be placed on the list at all adven-
tures, if your master wishes it." " You will confer on me a
particular favor," said I to Don Raymond ; " be so good as to do it
in kindness to me. Scipio is a young fellow much in my good
graces, very capable in busiftess, and will be found irreproachable
in his conduct. In a word, I would as soon answer for him as
myself."
" That being the case," replied Caporis, " he has only to /epair
immediately to Seville : the ships are to sail for South America in
a month. I shall give him a letter at his departure for a man who
will put him in the way of making a fortune, without the slightest
interference in his excellency's dues and profits, which ought to be
held sacred by him."
Scipio, delighted with his berth, was in haste to set out for
Seville, with a thousand crowns, with which I furnished him, to
make purchases of wine and oil in Andalusia, and enable him to
trade on his own bottom in the West Indies. And yet, overjoyed
as he was to make a voyage, and as he hoped his fortune there-
withal, he could not part from me without tears; and the separation
raised the waters even from my dry fountains.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 629
CHAPTER XII.
DON ALPHONSO DE LEYVA COMES TO MADRID; THE MOTIVE OF HIS
JOURNEY A SEVERE AFFLICTION TO GIL BLAS.
~^T"0 sooner had I parted with Scipio than one of the minister's
JLN pages brought me a note conceived in the following terms :
" If Signor de Santillane will take the trouble of calling at the sign
of Saint Gabriel, in the street of Toledo, he will there see a friend
who is not indifferent to him."
"Who can this nameless friend possibly be?" said I to myself.
" What can be the meaning of all this mystery ? Obviously to occa-
sion me the pleasure of a surprise." I attended the summons imme-
diately, and on my arrival at the place appointed, was not a little
astonished to find Don Alphonso de Ley va there. " Is it possible I"
exclaimed I: "you here, my lord?" "Yes, my dear Gil Bias,
answered he, with a close compression of my hand in his, " it is Don
Alphonso himself." " Well ! but what brings you to Madrid ?" said
I. " You will be not a little startled," rejoined he, " and no less
vexed, at the occasion of my journey. They have taken my govern-
ment of Valencia from me, and the prime minister has sent for me
to give an account of ray conduct." For a whole quarter of an hour
I was like a man stupefied ; then, recovering the powers of speech,
" Of what," said I, " are you accused ?" " I know nothing at all about
it," answered he ; " but my disgrace is probably owing to a visit paid
about three weeks ago to the Cardinal Duke of Lerma, who was
banished about a month since to his seat at Denia."
" Yes, indeed 1" cried I in a pet, " you may well attribute your
misfortune to that imprudent visit: there is no occasion to look out
for causes and effects elsewhere ; but give me leave to say that you
have not acted with your usual good sense, in claiming acquaintance
with that favorite out of favor." " The leap is taken, and the neck
broken," said he ; " and I have nothing to do but to make the best
of a bad bargain : I shall retire with my family to our paternal
estate at Leyva, where the remnant of my days will glide away in
peace and obscurity. What taunts and teases me is the requisition
of appearing before a haughty minister, who may receive me with
all the insolence of oflSce. How humiliating to the pride of a Span-
iard ! And yet it is a measure of necessity ; but before the degrading
ceremony took place, I wanted to talk it over with you." "Sir,"
said I, " do not announce your arrival to the minister till I have
ascertained the nature of the reports to your discredit, for there are
few evils without a remedy. Whatever may be your alleged crimes,
630 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
you will give me leave, if you please, to act in the affair as gratitude
and friendship shall dictate." With this assurance, I left him at his
inn, and promised to let him hear from me soon.
As I had taken no active part in state affairs since the -two me-
morials, in which my eloquence was so signally displayed, I went to
look for Carnero, with a view to inquire whether Don Alphonso's
government was really taken from him. He answered in the affir-
mative, but professed not to know the reason. Finding how things
stood, I determined to apply at headquarters, and to learn the
grounds of grievance from his lordship's own mouth.
My spirits were really harassed, so that there was no need of put-
ting on the trapping and the suits of woe to attract my lord duke's
notice. " What is the matter, Santillane ?" said he as soon as he saw
me. " I perceive a marked unhappiness on your countenance, and
tears just ready to trickle down your cheeks. Has any one behaved
ill to you? Tell me, and you shall have your revenge," " My lord,"
answered I in a melancholy tone, " even though my grief would seek
to hide itself, it must have vent : my depair is past endurance. The
report goes that Don Alphonso is no longer governor of Valencia ;
a severer stroke could not have been inflicted on me," " What say
you, Gil Bias ?" replied the minister in astonishment : " what interest
can you take in this Don Alphonso and his government ?" On this
question, I detailed at length my obligations to the lords of Leyva,
and modestly stated my own interference with the Duke of Lerma,
to obtain the appointment for my friend.
When his excellency had heard me through with the most polite
and kind attention, he spoke thus : " Make yourself easy, Gil Bias.
Besides my entire ignorance of what you have just told me, I must
own that I considered Don Alphonso as the cardinal's creature.
Only put yourself in my place : was not the visit to his eminence a
most suspicious circumstance ? Yet I am willing to believe that,
owing his preferment to that minister, he might have remembered
him in his adversity from a motive of pure gratitude. I am sorry
for having displaced a man who owed his elevation to you ; but if I
have pulled down your handiwork I can build it up again. I mean
to do still more than the Duke of Lerma for you. Your friend Don
Alphonso was only governor of Valencia ; I appoint him viceroy of
Arragon : you may send him word so yourself, and order him hither
to take the oaths."
At these words, my feelings changed from extreme grief to an
excess of joy, which completely caricatured the mediocrity of com-
mon sense, and made me utter an incoherent rhapsody of thanks:
but the want of method in the madness of my discourse was not
taken amiss ; and on my hinting that Don Alphonso was already at
AjyVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 631
Madrid, he told me that I might present him this very day. I ran
to the sign of Saint Gabriel, and communicated my own raptures to
Don Caesar's son, by informing him of his new appointment. He
could not believe what I told him, but found it a hard matter to
persuade himself that the prime minister, though likely enough to
be very well disposed towards me, should extend his friendship so
far as to dispose of viceroyalties at my instance. I carried him with
me to my lord duke, who received him very affably, complimented
him on his uniform good conduct in his government of Valencia, and
finished by saying that the king, considering him as qualified for a
higher station, had named him for the viceroyalty of Arragon. " Be-
sides," added he, " your family is of a rank not to disparage the
dignity of the ofBce, so that the Arragonese nobility will have no
plea for excepting against the choice of the court."
His excellency made no mention of me, and the public was kept
in the dark as to my share in the business ; indeed this prudent
silence was lucky both, for Don Alphonso and the minister, since
the tongues of defamers would have been busy in taking to pieces
the pretensions of a viceroy who owed his preferment to my
patronage.
As soon as Don Caesar's son could speak with certainty of his
new honors, he sent off an express for Valencia with the informa-
tion to his father and Seraphina, who soon arrived in Madrid.
Their first object Avas to find me out, and ply me thick and three-
fold with acknowledgments. What a proud and affecting sight for
me to behold the three persons in the world nearest my heart vying
with each other in their testimonies of affection and gratitude ! The
pleasure my zeal seemed personally to give them was equal to the
dignity conferred on their house by the post of viceroy. They even
talked with me on a footing of equality, and scarcely remembered
my original distance or servitude in the fervor of their present feel-
ings. But not to dwell on unnecessary topics, Don Alphonso hav-
ing taken the oaths and returned thanks, left Madrid with his
family to take up his abode at Saragossa. He made his public
entry with appropriate magnificence, and the Arragonese caused it
to appear, by their cordial reception, that I had a very pretty
knack at picking out a viceroy.
632 ADVENTVJiES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTER XIII.
GIL BLAS MEETS DON GASTON DE COGOLLOS AND DON ANDEEW DB
TOBDESILLAS AT THE DKAWING-ROOM.
I WAS up to the hilt in joy at having so marvellously metamor-
phosed an ex-governor into a viceroy ; the lords of Leyva them-
selves were not primed and loaded so near to bursting. But very
soon I had another opportunity of employing my credit in the
beaten track of friendship ; and there is the more occasion to quote
these instances, that my readers may clearly discern with how dif-
ferent a man they are in company from that graceless Gil Bias who,
under the former ministry, carried on a shameless traffic in the
honors and emoluments of the state.
One day I was waiting in the king's antechamber, in conversation
with some noblemen, who, knowing me to stand well with the
prime minister, were not ashamed of taking me by the hand. In
the crowd was Don Gaston de CogoUos, whom I had left a prisoner in
the tower of Segovia. He was with Don Andrew de Tordesillas, the
warden. I readily quitted my company to go and renew my
acquaintance with my two friends. If they were astonished at the
sight of me, I was no less so to find them here. After mutual
greetings, Don Gaston said, " Signor de Santillane, we have many
inquiries to make of each other, and this place affords little oppor-
tunity for private intercourse ; allow me to request your company
where we may open our hearts freely." I made no objection. We
pushed our way through the crowd, and left the palace. Don Gas-
ton's carriage was ready waiting in the street ; we all three got into
it, and drove to the great market-place, where the bull-fights are
exhibited. There Cogollos lived in a very handsome house.
" Signor Gil Bla«," said Don Andrew on our entrance, " at your
departure from Segovia you seemed to have conceived a thorough
hatred against the court, and to have formed a settled purpose of
abandoning it forever." " Such was, in fact, my design," answered
I ; " nor were my sentiments at all changed during the lifetiire of
the late king ; but when the prince his son came to the throne, I
had a mind to see whether the new monarch would know me again.
He did so, and received me favorably, with a strong recommenda-
tion to the prime minister, who admitted me to his friendship, and
took me more into his confidence than ever did the Duke of Lerma.
This, Signor Don Andrew, is my story. And now tell me whether
you still bold your office in the tower of Segovia." "No, indeed,"
answered he ; " my lord duke has removed me, and put another in
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 633
ray room. He probably considered me as entirely aevoted to his
predecessor." " And I," said Don Gaston, " was set at liberty for
the contrary reason. The prime minister was no sooner informed
that my imprisonment was by the Duke of Lerma's order, than he
ordered me to be released. The present business, Signor Gil Bias, is
to relate the subsequent particulars of my adventures.
"The first thing I did," continued he, "after thanking Don
Andrew for his kind attentions during my confinement, was to re-
pair to Madrid. I presented myself before the Count Duke of Oli-
varez, who said, * You need not be apprehensive of any blemish on
your character in consequence of your late misfortune ; you are
honorably acquitted : nay, your innocence is so much the more
satisfactorily established, as the Marquis of Villareal, with whom
you were supposed to be implicated, was not guilty. Though a
Portuguese, and related to the Duke of Braganza, he is less in his
interests than in those of the king my master. That connection,
therefore, ought not to have been imputed to you as a crime; but to
repair your wrongs, the king has given you a lieutenant's commission
in the Spanish guards.' This I accepted, begging as a favor of his
excellency to allow me, before I joined my regiment, to go and see
my aunt, Donna Eleonora de Laxarilla, at Coria. The minister
gave me leave of absence for a month, and I departed with only one
servant.
" We had got beyond Colmenar, and were threading a narrow
pass between two mountains, when we came within sight of a
gentleman defending himself bravely against three men, who all
fell upon him together. I did not hesitate about going to his aid,
but hastened forward and planted myself by his side. I remarked,
while we were fighting, that our enemies were masked, and that we
had to do with expert swordsmen. But we triumphed over the
united advantages of their skill and disparity. I ran one of the
three through the body ; he fell from his horse, and the two others
immediately betook themselves to flight. The victory indeed was
scarcely less fatal to us than to the wretch whom I had killed, for
we were both dangerously wounded. But conceive my surprise,
when I discovered the gentleman to be Combados, the husband of
Donna Helena. He was no less astonished at recognizing me as
his defender. 'Ah, Don Gaston !' exclaimed he, ' was it you, then,
who came to my assistance ? When you took my part so generously,
you little thought it was the person who had snatched your mistress
from you.' ' I really did not know it,' answered I ; 'but though I
had, do you think I could have wavered about doing as I have
done? Can you entertain so ill an opinion of me as to believe my
soul so sordid ?' ' No, no,' replied he ; ' I think better of you ; and
634 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
should I die of my wounds, it will be my prayer that yours may
not disable you from profiting by my death.' 'Corabados/ said I,
* though I have not yet forgotten Donna Helena, know that I do
not pant after the possession of her charms at the expense of your
life ; so far from it, that I congratulate myself on having contributed
to your rescue from assassination, since by so doing I have per-
formed an acceptable service to your wife.'
" While we were communing together, my servant dismounted,
and drawing near to the gentleman stretched at his length, took off
his mask, when Combados, with sensations of gratitude for his de-
liverance, distinctly traced the features. ' It is Caprara,' exclaimed
he ; ' that treacherous cousin, who, in mere disgust at having missed
a rich inheritance which he had unjustly disputed with me, has
long since cherished a murderous design against my life, and fixed
on this day to put it in execution ; but Heaven has turned him over
to its determined vengeance, and made him the victim of his own
attempt.'
" While this conversation was going on, our blood was flowing at
the same rate, and we were becoming more exhausted every minute.
Nevertheless, disabled as we were, we had strength enough to reach
the town of Villarejo, which lies within a gunshot or two from the
field of battle. At the very first house of call we sent for surgeons.
The most expert came at our summons. He examined our wounds,
and reported them as dangerous. After taking off the bandages
and dressing them a second time, he pronounced those of Don Bias
to be mortal. Of mine he thought more favorably, and the event
corresponded with his prognostic.
" Combados, finding himself consigned to the grave, thought only
of due preparation for a most serious event. He sent an express to
his wife, with an account of what had happened, particularizing his
present sad condition. Donna Helena soon arrived at Villarejo.
Her mind was drawn different ways by two opposite occasions of
distress — the hazard of her husband's life, and the fear of feeling
the revival of a half extinguished flame at the sight of me. This
aight occasioned her to experience a terrible agitation. ' Madam,'
said Don Bias when she appeared in his presence, ' you are come
just in time to receive my farewell. I am at the point of death, and
I consider my fate as a punishment from Heaven for having taken
you from Don Gaston by a feint ; far from murmuring at it, I exhort
you with my last breath to restore to him a heart which I had stolen
from him.' Donna Helena answered him only by her tears ; and
indeed it was the best answer she could make ; for she had neither
forgotten her first love nor the artifices whereby she had been in-
fluenced to renounce her plighted faith.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 635
" It happened, as the surgeon had anticipated, that in less than
three days Combados died of his wounds, while mine, on the contrary,
wore the appearance of convalescence. The young widow, whom
no earthly considerations could detach from the care of transporting
her late husband's remains to Coria, that they might be deposited
with due honors in the family vault, left Villarejo on her return,
after inquiring, merely as a matter of course, how I was going on.
As soon as I was well enough to be removed, I bent my course to
Coria, where my recovery was soon ascertained. My aunt, Donna
Eleonora, and Don George de Galisteo, were determined that my
marriage with Helena should take place forthwith, lest some new
caprice of fortune should part us once more. The ceremony was
privately performed, on account of the late melancholy event, and
within a few days I returned to Madrid with Donna Helena. As
my leave of absence had expired, I was afraid lest the minister
should have superseded me in my lieutenancy ; but he had not filled
up the vacancy, and received my apologies very graciously.
"Thus am I," continued CogoUos, "lieutenant of the Spanish
guards, and my situation is exactly to my mind. The circle of my
friends is respectable and pleasant, and I live at my ease among
them." " Would I could say .'as much I" exclaimed Don Andrew ;
"but I am very far from being satisfied with my lot: I have lost
my appointment, which was not without its advantages, and have
no friends of sufficient interest to procure me a better berth," " Ex-
cuse me, Signor Don Andrew," cried I, with a sort of upbraiding
smile, " you have a friend in me who may chance to be better than
no friend at all. I have told you already that I am a greater
favorite with my lord duke than with the Duke o'f Lerma; and
will you tell me to my /ace that you have no interest at court?
Have you not already experienced the contrary ? Recollect that,
through the Archbishop of Granada's powerful recommendation, I
procured you a nomination for Mexico, where you would have made
your fortune, if love had not stepped in and marred it at Alicant.
My means are now more extensive, since I have the ear of the prime
minister." " I give myself up to you, then," replied Tordesillas ;
" but do not send me into New Spain, though the first appointment
in the colonies were at your disposal."
Here we were interrupted by Donna Helena, who came into the
room, and improved even upon the visions of my fancy by the
reality of her charms, (^ogollos introduced me as the companion
who had solaced the tedious hours of his imprisonment. " Yes,
madam," said I to Donna Helena, "my conversation did indeed
soothe his sorrows, for it turned on you." The compliment was
not thrown away, and I took my leave with repeated congratula-
636 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAH.
tions. With respect to Tordesillas, I assured him that within
a week he should know how far my power, as well as my will,
extended.
Nor were these mere words. On the very next day the opportu-
nity occurred. " Santillane," said his excellency, "the place of
governor in the royal prison of Valladolid is vacant : it is worth
more than three hundred pistoles a year, and is yours if you will
accept of it." "Not if it were worth ten thousand ducats," an-
swered I, "for it would carry me away from your lordship."
"But," replied the minister, "you may fill it by deputy, and only
visit the prison occasionally." "That is as it may be," rejoined I;
" but I shall only accept it on condition of resigning in favor of
Don Andrew de Tordesillas, a brave and loyal gentleman ; I should
like to give him this place in acknowledgment of his kindness to
me in the tower of Segovia."
This plea made the minister laugh heartily, and say, " As far as
I see, Gil Bias, you mean to make yourself a general patron. Even
so be it, my friend ; the vacancy is yours for Tordesillas ; but tell
me unfeignedly what fellow-feeling you have in the business, for
you are not such a fool as to throw away your interest for nothing."
" My lord," answered I, " Don Andrew charged me nothing for all
his acts of friendship ; and should not a man repay his obligations?"
" You are become highly moral and self-mortified," replied his ex-
cellency ; " rather more so than under the last administration."
"Precisely so," rejoined I; "then evil communication corrupted my
principles ; bargain and sale were the order of the day, and I con-
formed to the established practice; now, all preferment is allotted
on the footing of a meritorious free gift, and my integrity shall
not be the last to fall in with the fashion."
CHAPTER XIV.
SANTILLANE'S visit to poet NUNEZ; THE COMPANY AND CONVER-
SATION.
ONE day, after dinner, a fancy seized me to go and see the poet
of the Asturias, feeling a sort of curiosity to know on what
floor he lodged. I repaired to the house of Signer Don Bertrand
Gomez del Ribero, and asked for Nunez. " He does not live here
now," said the porter, " but over the way, in apartments at the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 687
back of the house." I went thither, and, crossing a small court,
entered an unfurnished parlor, where my friend Fabricio was
sitting at table, doing the honors to five or six guests from the
hamlet and liberty of Parnassus.
They were at the latter end of a feast, and of course at the
beginning of an affray ; but as soon as they perceived me, a dead
eilence succeeded to their obstreperous argumentation. Nunez rose
from his seat with much pomp and circumstance of politeness to
receive me, saying, "Gentlemen, Signor de Santillane! He does
me the honor to visit me under this humble roof; as the favorite
of the prime minister, you will all join with me in tendering your
humble services." At this introduction, the worshipful company
got up and made their best bows ; for my rank could not fail of pro-
curing me respect from the manufacturers of dedications. Though
I was neither hungry nor thirsty, it was impossible not to sit down
and drink a toast in such society.
My presence appearing to be a restraint, " Gentlemen," said I,
"it should seem that I have interrupted your conversation : resume
it, or you drive me away," " My learned friends," said Fabricio,
"were discussing the 'Iphigenia' of .Euripides." The bachelor,
Melchior de Vill6gas, a clever man of the first rank in the republic
of letters, resumed the topic by asking Don Jacinto de Romerate
which was the point of interest in th3,t tragedy. Don Jacinto
ascribed it to the imminent danger of Iphigenia. The bachelor
contended, offering to prove his proposition by all the evidence ad-
missible at the bar of logic or criticism, that the danger of a
trumpery girl had nothing to do with the real sympathy of that
affecting piece. "What has to do with it then?" bawled the old
licentiate Gabriel of Leon, indignantly. " It turns with the wind,"
replied the bachelor.
The whole company burst into a shout of laughter at this asser-
tion, which they were far from considering as serious ; and I myself
thought that Melchior had only launched it by way of adding the
zest of wit to the severity of critical discussion. But I was out in
my calculation respecting the character of that eminent scholar: he
had not a grain of sprightliness or pleasantry in his whole composi-
tion. " Laugh as you please, gentlemen," replied he, very coolly ;
" I maintain that there is no circumstance but the wind, unless it be
the weathercock, to interest, to strike, to rouse the passions of the
spectator. Figure to yourself a multitudinous army assembled for
the purpose of laying siege to Troy ; take into the account the eager
haste of the officers and common men to carry their enterprise into
execution, that they may return with their best legs foremost into
Greece, where they have left everything most dear to them— their
638 ADVENTURES OP OIL BLAS.
household gods, their wives and their children : all this while a mis-
chievous wind from the wrong quarter keeps them port-bound at
Aulis, and, as it were, drives a nail into the very head of the
expedition ; so that, till better weather, it was impossible to go and
lay siege to Priam's town. Wind and weather, therefore, make up
the interest of this tragedy. My good wishes are with the Greeks ;
my whole faculties are wrapped up in the success of their design ;
the sailing of their fleet is with me the only hinge of the fable, and
I look at the danger of Iphigenia with somewhat of a self-interested
complacency, because by her death the winding up of the story into
a brisk and favorable gale was likely to be accelerated."
Aa soon as Villegas had finished his criticism, the laugh burst out
more than ever at his expense. Nunez was sly enough to side with
him, that a fairer scope and broader mark might be presented to the
shafts of malicious wit which were let fly from all quarters in the
shipman's card at this poster of the sea and land. But the bachelor,
eyeing them all with sublime indifference and supreme contempt,
gave them to understand how low in the list of the ignorant and
vulgar they ranked in his estimation. Every moment did I expect
to see these vaporing spirits kindle into a blaze, and wage war
against the hairy honors of each other's brainless skulls ; but the
joke was not carried to that length: they confined their hostilities to
opprobrious epithets, and took their leave when they had eaten and
drunk as much as they could get.
After their departure, I asked Fabricio why he had separated him-
self from his treasurer, and whether they had quarrelled. " Quar-
relled I" answered he : " Heaven defend me from such a misfortune I
I am on better terms than ever with Signor Don Bertrand, who gave
his consent to my living apart from him : here, therefore, I receive
my friends, and take my pleasure with them unmolested. Yoa
know very well that I am not of a temper to lay up treasures for
those who are to come after me ; and as it happens luckily, I am
now in circumstances to giv& my little classical ■entertainments
every day." " I am delighted at it, my dear Nunez," replied I, " and
once more wish you joy on the success of your last tragedy : the
great Lope, by his eight hundred dramatic pieces, never made a
quarter of the money which you have got by the damnation of your
' Count de Saldagna.' "
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 689
BOOK XII.
CHAPTER I.
GIL BLAS SENT TO TOLEDO BY THE MINISTER. THE PUBPOSE OP HIS
JOUENEY AND ITS SUCCESS.
FOR nearly a month his excellency had been saying to me every
day, " Santillane, the time is approaching when I shall call
your choicest powers of address into action." But the time that was
coming never came. It is a long lane, however, where there is no
turning ; and his excellency at length spoke to me nearly as follows :
*' They say that there is in the company of comedians at Toledo a
young actress of much note for her personal and professional fasci-
nations ; it is affirmed that she dances and sings like all the Muses
and Graces put together, and that the whole theatre rings with ap-
plause at her performance ; to these perfections is added matchless
and irresistible beauty. Such a star should only shine within the
circle of a court. The king has a taste for the stage, for music, and
for dancing ; nor must he be debarred from the pleasure of seeing
and hearing such a prodigy. I have determined on sending you to
Toledo, that you may judge for yourself whether she really is so ex-
traordinary an actress ; on your opinion of her merit my measures
shall be taken ; for I have unlimited confidence in your discern-
ment."
I undertook to bring his lordship a good account of this busii^ess,
and made my arrangements for setting out with one servant, but not
in the minister's livery, by way of conducting matters more warily ;
and that precaution relished well with his excellency. On my
arrival at Toledo, I had scarcely alighted at the inn when the land-
lord, taking me for some country gentleman, said, " Please, your
honor, you are probably come to be present at the august ceremony
of an auto da f6 to-morrow." I answered in the affirmative, the more
completely to mislead him and keep my own counsel. " You will
see," replied he, " one of the prettiest processions you ever saw in
your life : there are said to be more than a hundred prisoners, and
ten of them are to be roasted."
In good truth, next morning, before sunrise, I heard all the bells
in the town peal merrily ; and the design of their bob-majors was to
acquaint the people that the pastime was about to begin. Curious
to see what sort of a recreation it was, I dressed in a hurry, and
640 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
posted to the scene of action. All about that quarter, and along the
streets where the procession was to pass, were scattblds, on one of
which I purchased a standing. The Dominicans walked first, pre-
ceded by the banner of the Inquisition, These Christian fathers
were immediately followed by the hapless victims of the holy office
selected for this day's burnt-otfering. These devoted wretches walked
one by one, with their head and feet bare, each of them with a tapei
in his liand, and a fiery, not baptismal godfather by his side. Sonic
had large yellow scapularies, worked with crosses of St. Andrew in
red ; others wore sugar-loaf caps of paper, illustrated with flames and
diabolical figures of all sorts, by way of emblem.
As I looked narrowly at these objects of religious gaze, with a
compassion in my heart which might have been construed criminal
had it run over from my eyes, I fancied that the reverend Father
Hilary and his companion brother Ambrose were among those who
figured in the sugar-loaf caps. They passed too near for me to be de-
ceived. " What do I see ?" thought I inwardly. " Heaven, wearied
out with the wicked lives of these two scoundrels, has given them up
to the justice of the Inquisition !" My whole frame trembled at the
thought, and my spirits were scarcely equal to support me from faint-
ing. My connection with these knaves, the adventure at Xelva, all
our pranks in partnership, rushed upon my memory, and I did not
know how sufliciently to thank God for having preserved me from
St. Andrew's crosses and the painted devils on the paper caps.
When the ceremony was over, I returned to the inn with my heart
sickening at the dreadful sight ; but painful impressions soon wear
away, and I thought only of my commission and its due accom-
plishment. I waited with impatience for play-time, as the moment
and scene of my commencing operations. On the opening of the
doors I repaired to the theatre, and took my seat next to a knight
of Alcantara. We soon got into chat. " Sir," said I, " the players
here have been represented to me in very favorable terms : may I
give credit to general report ?" " The company is not contemptible,"
replied the knight ; " they have some first-rate performers ; among
the rest, the peerless Lucretia, an actress of fourteen, who will
astonish you ; and she plays one of her best parts to-night."
On the drawing up of the curtain, two actresses came on, witli
every advantage of dress and stage effect; but neither of them could
possibly be the object of my search. At length Lucretia made her
appearance at the back of the scene, and walked forward amidst a
thunder of applause. "Ah I this is she, indeed," thought I ; " and
a delicate specimen of loveliness, as I am a sinner !" In her very
first speech she proved herself a child of nature, with energy and
conception far above her years ; and the approbation of a provincial
ADVENTURES OF QIL BIAS. 641
audience was confirmed by my metropolitan judgment. The knight
was happy to find I liked her, and assured me that if I had heard
her sing, my ears might have rejoiced to the sorrow of my heart.
Her dancing, too, he represented as not less formidable to the free
will of lordly man. I inquired what youth, blessed as the immortal
gods, had the exquisite happiness of bringing himself to beggary
for so sweet a girl. " She is under no avowed protection," said he ;
" and scandal has not coupled her name with private license ; but
Lucretia must take care of herself, for she is under the wing of
her aunt Estella ; and there is not an actress in the company so
warmly fledged for hatching the tender passions into life."
At the name of Estella, I inquired with some eagerness who she
was. " One of our best performers," said my informant. " She
does not play to-night, to our great loss, for her cast is that of
abigails, and she humors them to perfection. A little too broad,
perhaps, but that is a fault on the right side." From the features
of the description, there could be no doubt but this must be
Laura — that lady so notorious in these memoirs, whom I left at
Granada.
To make assurance doubly sure, I went behind the scenes after
the play. There she was, in the green-room, flirting with some men
of fashion, who probably endured the aunt for the sake of the niece.
I came up to pay my devotions ; but whim, or perhaps revenge for
my cutting and running from Granada, determined her to put on the
stranger, and receive my compliments with so discouraging a cold-
ness as to throw me into some little confusion. Instead of laughing
it off", I was fool enough to be angry, and withdrew in a choleric
determination to return next day. " Laura shall smart for this I"
said I ; " her niece shall not appear at court ; I will tell the min-
ister that she dances like a she bear, has formed her bravura be-
tween the scream of a pea-hen and the cackle of a goose, acts like
a puppet, and Comprehends like an idiot."
Such was my scheme of revenge, but it proved abortive. Just as
I was going out of town, a foot-boy brought me the following note :
" Forget and forgive, and follow the bearer." I obeyed, and found
Laura at her dressing-table in very elegant apartments near the
theatre.
She rose to welcome me, saying, "Signor Gil Bias, you have every
reason to be offended at your reception behind the scenes, which
was out of character between such olr" friends ; but I really was
most abominably disconcerted. Just as you came up, one of our
gentlemen had brought me some scandalous stories about my niece,
whose honor has always been dearer to me than my own. On
coming to myself, I immediately sent my servant to find you out,
41
642 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
with the intention of making you amends to-day." " You have
done so already, my dear Laura," said I ; " let us therefore talk
over old times. You may remember that I left you in a very tick-
lish predicament, when conscience and the fear of punishment
drove me so precipitately from Granada. How did you get off with
your Portuguese lover ?" " Easily enough," answered Laura; "do
not you know that in those cases men are mere fools, and acquit us
women without even calling for our defence?
" I faced the Marquis of Marialva out that you were my very
brother, and drew upon my impudence for the support of my credit.
' Do you not see,' said I to my Portuguese dupe, ' that this is all the
contrivance of jealousy and rage? My rival, Narcissa, infuriated
at my possession of a heart which she had vainly attempted to gain,
has bribed the candle-snuflfer to assert that he has seen me as Ar-
senia's waiting-woman at Madrid. It is an abominable falsehood ;
the widow of Don Antonio Coello has always been too high in her
notions to be the hanger-on of a theatrical mistress. Besides, what
completely disproves the whole allegation is my brother's precipitate
retreat ; if he were here, it would be a subject of evidence ; but
Narcissa must have devised some stratagem to get him out of the
way.'
" These reasons," continued Laura, " were not the most con-
vincing in the world, but they did very well for the marquis, and
that good, easy nobleman continued his confidence till his return to
Portugal. This happened soon after your departure, and Zapata's
wife had the pleasure of seeing me lose what she could not win.
After this I stayed some years longer at Granada, till the company
was broken up in consequence of some squabbles, which will take
place in mimic as well as in real life. Some went to Seville, others
to Cordova, and I came to Toledo, where I have been for these ten
years with my niece Lucretia, whose performance you must have
seen last night."
This was too much to be taken gravely. Laura inquired why I
laughed. "Can that be a question?" said I. "You have neither
brother nor sister, one or other of which is a necessary ingredient in
an aunt. Besides, when I calculate in my mind the lapse of time
since our last separation, and compare that period with the age of
your niece, it is more than possible that your relationship may be
in a nearer degree of kin."
" I understand you," replied Don Antonio's widow, with some-
thing like a moral tinge of red in her cheek. " You are an accurate
chronologist I There is no garbling facts in defiance of your mem-
ory. Well, then, Lucretia is my daughter by the Marquis of Mari-
alva ; it was extremely wrong, but I cannot conceal it from you."
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLA8. 643
" The confession must indeed be a shock to your modesty," said I,
" after telling me yourself what pranks you played with the hospital
steward at Zamora. I must tell you, moreover, that Lucretia is an
article of so superior a quality as to render you a public benefactor
by having thrown her into the market. It were to be wished that
the stolen embraces of all your fraternity might be blessed with
Iruitfulness, if they could secure to themselves a pattern for breed-
ing after your sample."
Should any sarcastic reader, comparing this passage with some
circumstances related while I was the marquis's secretary, suspect
me of being entitled to dispute the honors of paternity with that
nobleman, I blush to say that my claims are entirely out of the
question.
I laid open my principal adventures to Laura in my turn, as well
as the present state of my affairs. She listened with interest, and
said, " Friend Santillane, you seem to play a principal part on the
stage of the world, and I congratulate you most heartily. Should
Lucretia be engaged at Madrid, I flatter myself she will find a
powerful protector in Signor de Santillane." " Doubt it not,"
answered I ; " your daughter may have her engagement whenever
you please ; I can promise you that, without presuming too much
on my interest." " I will take you at your word," replied Laura,
" and would set out to-morrow were I not under articles to this
company." " An order from court will cut the knot of any articles,"
rejoined I ; "and that I take upon myself: you will have it within a
week. It is an act of chivalry to rescue Lucretia from Toledo:
such a pretty little actress belongs to the royal court, as parcel of
the manor."
Lucretia came into the room just as I was talking of her. The
goddess Hebe herself never looked better in her best days ; it was
nature in the bud, exhaling the sweets of her earliest bloom, but
promising a more luxuriant waste of treasure. She was just up, and
her natural beauty, without the aid of art, communicated the most
rapturous sensations. " Come, niece," said her mother, " thank the
gentleman for all his kindness to us ; he is an old friend of mine,
who ranks high at court, and undertakes to get us both an engage-
ment at the theatre royal." The little girl seemed to be much
pleased, and made me a low curtsy, saying, with an enchanting
smile, " I most humbly thank you for your obliging intention ; but
by taking me from a partial audience, are you certain that I shall
not be looked down upon by that of Madrid ? I may but lose by the
exchange. I remember hearing my aunt say that she has seen
players most favorably received in one town and hissed off the stage
in another. This absolutely frightens me; beware, therefore, of
644 ADVENTURES OF OIL BLAS.
exposing me to the derision of the court, and yourself to its re-
proaches." " Lovely Lucretia," answered I, " we have neither of us
anything to fear ; I am rather apprehensive lest, by the havoc you
will make among hearts, you should excite rivalships and kindle
discord among the courtiers." " My niece's fears," said Laura, " are
better founded than yours, but I hope they will both prove vain ;
however feeble may be Lucretia's charms of person, her talents as
an actress are at least above mediocrity."
We continued the conversation for some time, and I could gather
from Lucretia's share in it that she was a girl of superior talents.
On taking my leave, I assured them that they should immediately
receive a summons to Madrid.
CHAPTER IL
SAKTILLANE MAKES HIS REPOET TO THE MINISTER, WHO COMMISSIONS
HIM TO SEND FOB LUCRETIA.
ON my return I found my lord duke impatient to be informed
of my success. " Have you seen her ?" said he ; " is she worth
transplanting?" "My lord," answered I, " fame, which generally
runs beyond all discretion in its report of beauty, has erred on the
side of parsimony in its estimate of the matchless young Lucretia;
she is all that youthful poets fancy when they feign, for personal
attractions, and all that veteran managers seek when they sign
articles, in scenic qualifications."
"Is it possible?" exclaimed the minister, with a satisfaction
which involuntarily peeped out at his eyes, and made me think he
had some selfish hankerings after the article of my marketing at
Toledo; " is it possible? and is she really so charming a creature?"
"When you see her," replied I, "you will own that any verbal pic-
ture of her perfections must be altogether inadequate to their due
description." His excellency then requiring a minute account of
my journey, I gave him all the particulars, not excepting Laura's
story and Lucretia's parentage. His lordship was delighted at the
latter circumstance, and enjoined me, with a cordial compliment on
my skill in such delicate negotiations, to finish as auspiciously as I
had begun my undertakings.
I went to look for Carnero, and told him that it was his excel-
lency's pleasure he should make out an order for the admission of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 645
Estella and Lucretia, actresses from the Toledo theatre, into his
majesty's company. " Say you so, Signor de Santillane ?" answered
Carnero with a sarcastic leer ; " you shall not be kept long in sus-
pense, since you take so marked an interest in the fortunes of these
two ladies." He expedited the order in my presence, and within a
week the mother and daughter sent me notice of their arrival. I
immediately hastened to their lodging near the theatre, and after an
interchange of thanks on their part, and assurances of continued
support on mine, left them with my best wishes for a brilliant career
of success.
Their names were announced in the bills as two new actresses,
engaged by the special mandate of the court. They made their first
appearance in a play which they had been accustomed to perform in
at Toledo, with loud and unanimous applause.
Novelty is the very life and soul of theatrical entertainments.
The house was uncommonly crowded, and I, of course, was among
the audience. I was rather frightened before the curtain drew up.
Prejudiced as I was in favor of the candidates, my alarm was in
proportion to ray interest. But when once they were fairly on the
boards, the din of welcome quieted all my apprehensions. Estella
was considered as a first-rate actress in comic parts, and Lucretia as
a female Roscius in heroines and love-sick damsels. But the love
which she feigned herself she really kindled in the hearts of the
spectators. Some admired the beauty of her eyes, others were
touched with the plaintive sweetness of her voice, and all, bowing
to the triumph of youth, vivacity, and elegance, went away in rap-
tures with her person.
My lord duke, who took an uncommon interest in this theatrical
event, was at the play that evening. I saw him leave his box at the
end of the piece with evident approbation of our new performers.
Curious to know whether they equalled his expectations, I followed
him home, and into his closet, saying, " Well, my lord, is your ex-
cellency well pleased with little Marialva?" "My excellency,"
answered he with a sly smile, " must be very difiicult to be pleased
not to confirm the public voice ; yes, indeed, my good friend, I am
enraptured with your Lucretia, and firmly believe that the king will
not see her without emotion^"
646 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
CHAPTEE III.
LtrCEETIA'S POPULARITY; HEE APPEARANCE BEFORE THE KING ; HIS
PASSION, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
GREAT was the noise about the court on this double acquisition
to the theatre ; it became the topic of conversation next day
at the king's levee. The young Lucretia was most in the mouths
of the nobility, who described her in such an enthusiastic manner
that his majesty could not but imbibe the impression, though he
was too polite to express the interest he felt either in words or by
looks.
To make amends for that restraint, he questioned the minister as
soon as he was alone with him, who stated the success of a young
actress from Toledo on the evening before. " Her name," added he,
" is Lucretia; and it is really a pity that ladies of her profession
should ever have been christened by any less chaste appellative.
She is an acquaintance of Santillane, who spoke so highly of her
that I thought it right to engage her for your majesty's company."
The king smiled at the mention of my name, recollecting, perhaps,
through what channel he became acquainted with Catalina, and
foreboding a like assistance on the present occasion. " Count," said
he to the minister, " I mean to see this Lucretia act to-morrow, and
will thank you to let her know it."
I was, of course, sent with this intelligence to the two actresses.
" Great news I" said I to Laura, whom I saw first : " you will have
the sovereign of the Spanish monarchy among your audience to-
morrow, as the minister has desired me to inform you. I cannot
doubt but you will both of you do your best to prove yourselves
worthy of a royal command ; but I would advise you to choose a
piece with music and dancing, that all Lucretia's accomplishments
may be displayed at one view." "We will take your counsel,"
answered Laura, " and it shall not be our faults if his majesty is
disappointed." " That can scarcely happen," said I, seeing Lucre-
tia come into the room in an undress, which showed her person to
more advantage than all the wardrobe of the theatre; "he will be
the more delighted with your lovely niece, because dancing and
music are his principal pleasures : he may even be tempted to throw
her the handkerchief." " I do not at all wish," replied Laura, " that
he should be that way inclined ; all-powerful monarch as he is, he
might not find the accomplishment of his desires so easy. Lucretia,
though brought up behind the scenes, is not without virtuous prin-
ciples ; whatever pleasure she may take in applause and professional
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 647
reputation, she had much rather preserve the character of a good
girl than establish that of a great actress."
" Aunt," said little Marialva, joining in the conversation, " why
conjure up monsters only to lay them again? I shall never be at a
loss to repel the king's advances, because his taste is too refined to
stoop so low." " But, charming Lucretia," said I, " if such a thing
should happen, would you be cruel enough to let him languish like
a common lover ?" " Why not ?" answered she. " Setting virtue
aside, my vanity would be more flattered by my own resistance than
by the tribute of his affection." I was not a little surprised to
hear a pupil of Laura's school talk so properly, and to find that
with so free an education she imbibed such unusual principles of
morality.
The king, impatient to see Lucretia, went to the play next even-
ing. The piece was got up with music and dancing, to show our
young actress off to the best advantage. My eyes were fixed on his
majesty ; but he completely eluded my penetration by an obstinate
gravity. On the following day, the minister said, "Santillane, I
have just been with the king, who has been talking about Lucretia
with so much animation that I doubt not but he is smitten ; and,
as I told him that you had sent for her from Toledo, he expressed a
wish to confer with you in private on the subject: orders are given
for your admittance ; run, and bring me back an account of what
I flew to the palace, and found the king alone. He was walking
up and down, in much apparent perplexity. He. put several ques-
tions to me about Lucretia, made me relate her history, and then
asked whether the little jade had not been tampering with chastity
already. I boldly assured him to the contrary, though such pledges
were somewhat hazardous in general ; but mine was taken, and gave
the prince much pleasure. " If so," replied he, " I select you for
my agent with Lucretia; let her become acquainted with her
triumph from your lips." He then put a box of jewels into my
hand, worth fifty thousand crowns, with a message begging her
acceptance of them, and promising more substantial proofs of his
affection.
Before I went on this errand, I reported progress to my lord duke.
That minister I thought would be more vexed than rejoiced at it;
supposing that he had his own views of gallantry towards Lucretia,
and would learn with regret the rivalship of his master ; but I was
mistaken. Far from appearing chagrined, his joy was so excessive
that it would ooze out at his tongue in words which were not quite
lost on the hearer. " Indeed, friend Philip I then I have you in my
clutches : while your pleasures lead you, your business must be left
648 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
to me !" This side speech explained to me the plot — an amorous
prince, and a long-headed minister I My orders were to execute
my commission as speedily as possible, with the assurance that the
first lord in the land would be proud to stand in my shoes. Besides,
there was no pimp of rank, as in the former case, to seize the profit
and leave the infamy with me ; the honor and emolument were now
exclusively my own.
Thus did his excellency relish the ingredients of panderism to my
palate ; and I tasted them with the greediness, but not without the
qualms, of an epicure ; for since my imprisonment I had become
regenerate, and did not take pride in dirty work, because my em-
ployer washed his hands in perfumed water. But though con-
science was awake, interest was not asleep. I was no longer a
villain for the fun of it; but my compliance would confirm my foot-
ing with the minister, and him it was my duty, at all events, to
please.
My first appeal was to Laura in private. I opened the negotia-
tion delicately, and presented my credentials in the form of the
jewel-box. The lady was thrown off her guard by the display.
" Signor Gil Bias," cried she, " you are one of my oldest friends,
and I must not play the hypocrite ; straight-laced morals are incon-
sistent with the discipline of my sect. Nothing can be more
delightful to me than a conquest which* throws such game into our
hands. But, between ourselves, I am afraid Lucretia is not so
enlightened as we are ; though a daughter of Thalia, she has taken
the better-behaved goddesses for her schoolmistresses, and given
a rebuflf to two young noblemen of amiable manners and large
fortunes. They were not kings, you will say ; and truly we may
hope that Lucretia's virtue will be too undisciplined to stand a
royal siege ; but you must remember the event is hazardous, and I
shall not interpose my authority to compel her. If, far from think-
ing herself honored by the fleeting passion of the king, she should
revolt from his advances with disdain, let not our illustrious
sovereign be offended at her reserve. But do you come back
hither to-morrow, and carry back either the jewels or a return of
affection."
I had no doubt but Laura would tutor Lucretia in the school of
time-serving morality, and depended much on her instruction. It
was therefore no small surprise to find that Laura worked as much
against wind and tide to launch her daughter into the trade-wind
of evil as other maternal pilots to set the sails of theirs in the con-
trary monsoon of good ; and what is still more unaccountable,
Lucretia, after tasting of royal delights, was so completely surfeited
with the banquet as to throw herself at once into the arms of the
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 649
church, where she professed, fell sick, and died of grief. Laura,
disconsolate for the loss of her daughter, and the part she herself
had acted in the tragedy, retired into a convent of female penitents,
and did penance for the unhallowed pleasures of her former life.
The king was affected by his sudden loss, but soon found comfort in
some other pursuit. The premier talked little on the subject, but
thought so much the more, as the reader will easily believe.
CHAPTER IV.
SANTILXANE IN A NEW OFFICE.
MY feelings were all alive to Lucretia'a ill fate, and my own
infamy in having contributed to it. The royal wants of the
lover were no excuse for my taking the post of cheapener, and I
determined to resign the staff of office in that department, entreat-
ing the minister to employ me in some other. He was charmed
with my nice sense of honor, and promised to comply with my
scruples, laying open his inmost heart in the following speech : —
" Some years before I was in office, chance threw me across a lady
of such shape and beauty as induced me to trace her home. I
learned that she was a Genoese, by name Donna Margarita Spinola,
supporting herself at Madrid on the income arising from her beauty.
It was reported that Don Francisco de Val6asar, an officer about
the court, a rich man, an old man, and a married man, laid out his
money very freely on this hazardous speculation. These rumors
ought to have deterred me ; but they only whetted my desires to
share with Val6asar. To gain my end, I had recourse to a female
broker of tenderness, who adjusted the terms of a private interview
with the Genoese ; and the price current being settled, the traffic
was frequently repeated ; it was an open market for my rival and
me, or possibly for many other bidders.
" Let that be as it may, a choice boy was in the fulness of time
produced to the club, and the mother complimented every member
individually in private with the credit ; but we were each of us too
modest to acknowledge a bantling which had so probable a claim
upon a better father ; so that the Genoese was compelled to main-
tain him on the profits of her profession : this shcdid for eighteen
years, and dying at the end of that period, left her son without a
farthing, and, what is worse, without an idea or an accomplishment
650 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
"Such," continued his lordship, "is the confidence I meant to
repose in you, and I shall now lay open the great design I have
formed to draw this unfortunate child from his obscurity, reverse
the color of his fate, raise him to the highest honors, and acknowl-
edge him as my son."
At so extravagant a project it was impossible not to be open-
mouthed. " What, sir," exclaimed I, " can your excellency have
adopted so strange a resolution ? Excuse my freedom ; but my zeal
cannot restrain itself." " You will be of my mind," replied he with
eagerness, " when I shall have explained to you my motives. I
have no mind that my estates should descend in the collateral line.
You will tell me that I am not so old as to despair of having chil-
dren by Madame d'Olivarez. But every one is best judge of his
own condition : know therefore that there is not a receipt in the
whole extent of chemistry which I have not tried, but without
effect, to appear once again in the character of a father. Where-
fore, since fortune, stepping in to cover the defects of nature, pre-
sents me with a child whose parent, after all, I may actually be, he
is mine by adoption ; that is a settled point."
When I found the minister determined, I no longer argued against
his resolution, as knowing him to be a man who would rather do a
foolish act of his own than adopt a wise suggestion of another. " It
only remains now," added he, "to educate Don Henry Philip de
Guzman — for by that name I intend him to be known in the world —
till the time arrives when he may aspire to higher dignities. You,
my dear Santillane, I have chosen to superintend his conduct. I
have full confidence in your talents and friendship, to regulate his
household, direct his studies, and make him an accomplished gentle-
man." I would willingly have declined the office, as never having
exercised the craft of a pedagogue, which required much more
genius and solidity than mine ; but he shut my mouth by saying it
was his absolute determination that I should be tutor to this adopted
son, whom he designed for the first offices of the monarchy. As a
bribe for my compliance, his lordship increased my little income '
with a pension of a thousand crowns on the commandery of Membra.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 651
CHAPTER V.
THE SON OF THE GENOESE IS ACKNOWLEDGED BY A LEGAL INSTEU-
MENT, AND NAMED DON HENKY PHILIP DE GUZMAN.
THE act of adoption was soon legalized with the king's consent
and good pleasure. Don Henry Philip de Guzman, as this
descendant from a committee of fathers was named, became ac-
knowledged successor to the earldom of Olivarez and the duchy of
San Lucar. The minister, to give the act all possible publicity,
communicated it through Carnero to the ambassadors and grandees
of Spain, who were somewhat startled. The jokers of Madrid were
not insensible to the ridicule, and the satirical poets made their
harvest of so fine a subject for their pen.
I asked my lord duke where my pupil was. "Here in town,"
answered he, " with an aunt from whom I shall remove him aa soon
as you have got a house ready." This I did immediately, and fur-
nished it magnificently. When my establishment was complete in
servants and ofllcers, his excellency sent for this equivocal produc-
tion, this spurious offset from the renowned stock of the Guzmans.
The lad was tall and personable. " Don Henry," said his lordship,
pointing to me, " this gentleman is to be your tutor, and introduce
you into the world ; he has my entire confidence, and an unlimited
authority over you." After much good advice, and many com-
pliments to me, the minister retired, and I took Don Henry
home.
As soon as we got thither, I introduced him to his household, and
explained the nature of each individual's employment. He did not
seem at all disconcerted at the change of circumstances, but received
the obeisances of his dependents as if he had been a lord by nature,
and not by chance. He was not without mother-wit, but ignoraut
in a deplorable degree ; he could scarcely read and write. I gave
him masters for the Latin grammar, geography, history, and fencing.
A dancing-master of course was not forgotten ; but in an affair of
the first consequence, selection was difficult, for there were more
eminent professors of that art in Madrid than of all the languages
and sciences put together.
While I was pondering on this difficulty, a man gaudily dressed
came into the court-yard and inquired for me. I went down, sup-
posing him to be at least a knight of some military or privileged
order. " Signor de Santillane," said he, with a profusion of bows
which anticipated his line in life, " I am come to offer you my ser-
vices as Don Henry's governor. My name is Martin Ligero, and I
652 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
have, thank Heaven, some reputation in the world. I have no
occasion to canvass for scholars ; that is all very well for petty
dancing-masters ! My custom is to wait till I am sent for ; but
being a sort of appendage to the house of Guzman, and having
taught its various branches for a long period, I thought it a point of
respect to wait on you first." "I perceive," answered I, "that you
are just the man we want. What are your terms?" " Four double
pistoles a month," answered he, " and I give but two lessons a
week." " Four doubloons a month !" cried I ; " that is an exorbi-
tant price." " Exorbitant!" rejoined he with astonishment; "why,
it is not more than eight times as much as you would give to a
mathematical master or a Greek professor."
There was no resisting so ludicrous a comparison of merit; I
laughed outright, and asked Signor Ligero whether he really thought
his talents worth more than those of the first proficients in learning
and science. " Most assuredly," said he ; "at least, if you measure
our pretensions by their respective utility. What sort of machines
may those be which are fashioned under their hands ? Jointless
puppets, unlicked cubs, open-mouthed and impenetrable shell-fish ;
but our lessons supple and render pliant the intractable stiffness of
their component parts, and bring them insensibly into shape : in
short, we communicate to them a graceful motion, a polite address,
the carriage of good company, and the outward marks of elevated
rank."
I could not but give way to such cogent arguments in favor of the
dancing-master's occupation, and engaged him about Don Henry's
person, without haggling as to terms, since those specified were only
at the rate established by the leading professors of the art.
CHAPTER VI.
BCIPIO'S EETTTltN FROM NEW SPAIN. GIL BLAS PLACES HIM ABOtJT
DON HENBY'S PERSON.
I HAD not yet half arranged Don Henry's household, when
Scipio returned from Mexico. He brought with him three
thousand ducats in cash, and merchandise to double the amount.
" I wish you joy," said I ; " the foundation of your fortune is laid;
and if you prefer a snug berth at Madrid to the risk of going back,
you have only to tell me so." " There is no question about that,"
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 653
said the son of Cosclina : " a genteel situation at home is far prefer-
able to a second voyage."
After relating the birth and adventures of the little adopted Guz-
man, and my own appointment as tutor, I offered him the situation
of upper servant to this babe of chance : Scipio, who could have
devised nothing better for himself, readily accepted the office, and
within the small space of three or four days got the length of his
new master's foot.
I had taken it for granted that the verb-grinders and concord-
manufacturers to whom I had given the plant of this Genoese bas-
tard would lose stock and block, under the idea that he was of an
intractable and profitless age ; but my forebodings were completely
reversed. He not only comprehended, but easily retained the les-
sons of his masters, and they were very well satisfied with him. I
was in an enormous hurry to greet the ears of my lord duke with
this intelligence, and he received it with abundant joy. "Santil-
lane," -exclaimed he with delight, " you give me new life by the
assurance of Don Henry's capacity and application : it runs in the
blood of the Guzmans ; and I am the more confirmed in his being
unquestionably my own, because I am just as fond of him as if
Madame d'Olivarez herself had lain in of the brat in due form
under this very roof. The voice of nature, you perceive, will make
itself heard." I thought it unnecessary to give his lordship any
opinion on that subject; but with a delicate deference to his
credulity, left him to enjoy his fancied paternity in peace, whether
well or ill founded.
Though all the Guzmans held this clod of newly tumed-up
nobility in utter «corn, they were politic enough to smooth over the
corrugations of their contempt ; nay, some of them even affected to
languish for his good opinion ; the ambassadors and principal no-
bility then at Madrid waited on him with all the ceremony apper-
taining to the rank of a legitimate son. The minister, intoxicated
with the fumes of incense offered to his idol, began to build. a temple
worthy of the worship. The cross of Alcantara was the foundation,
with a commandery of ten thousand crowns. The next step was to
a high office in the royal household, and the completion of the whole
was matrimony. Wishing to connect him with a family of the
first rank, he picked out Donna Johanna de Velasco, daughter
to the Duke of Castille, and had influence enough to accomplish
the alliance, though against the will of the duke and of all his
kindred.
Some days before the nuptial ceremony, his lordship put some
papers into my hand, saying, " Here, Gil Bias, is a patent of nobility
which I have procured as a reward of your services." " My lord,"
654 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
answered I, in much astonishment, "your excellency.knows very
well that I am the son of an usher and a dueuna : it would be cari-
caturing the peerage to confer it on me ; and besides, of all the
boons in his majesty's power to bestow, it is that which I deserve
and desire the least." " Your birth," replied the minister, " is a
slight objection. You have been employed on affairs of state under
the Duke of Lerma's administration and under mine : besides," added
he with a smile, " have you not rendered some things to Caesar which
Caesar is bound, on the honor of a prince, to render back in another
shape ? To deal candidly, Santillane, you will make just as good a
lord as the best of them ; nay, more than that, your high office
about my son is incompatible with plebeian rank, and therefore
have I procured you to be created," " Since your excellency will
have it so," replied I, " there is no more to be said." So, saying
no more, I put my new-blown honors in my pocket, and walked off.
"Now can I make any Joan a lady !" said I to myself when I had
got into the street: "but it was not the handiwork of my parents
that made me a gentleman. I may add a foot of honor to my name
whenever I please ; and if any of my acquaintance should snuff or
snigger when they call me Don, I may suck my teeth, lean upon my
elbow, and draw out my credentials of heraldry. But let us see what
they contain, and how the corporeal particles, which have accrued
during my artificial contact with the court, are distinguished by
genealogical metaphysics from the native clay of my original extrac-
tion." The instrument ran thus in substance: That the king, in
acknowledgment of my zeal in more than one instance for his service
and the good of the state, had been graciously pleased to confer this
mark of distinction on me. I may safely say that the recollection of
the act for which I was promoted effectually kept down my pride.
Neither did the bashfulness of low birth ever forsake me, so that
nobility to me was like a hair shirt to a penitent : I determined
therefore to lock up the evidences of my shame in a private drawer,
instead of blazoning them to dazzle the eyes of the foolish and
corrupt.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 665
CHAPTER VII.
AN ACCIDENTAL MEETING BETWEEN GIL BLAS AND FABBICIO. THEIR
LAST CONVERSATION TOGETHER.
THE poet of the Asturias, as the reader, if he thought of him,
may have remarked, was very negligent in his intercourse with
me. It was not to be expected that my employments would leave
me time to go and look after him. I had not seen him since the
critical discussion touching the Iphigenia of Euripides, when chance
threw me across him, as he came out of a printing-house. I accosted
him, saying, "So! so! Master Nunez, you have got among the
printers : this looks as if we were threatened with some new pro-
duction."
" You may indeed prepiare yourselves for such an event," answered
he : "I have a pamphlet just ready for publication which is likely
to make some noise in the literary world." " There can be no ques-
tion about its merit," replied I ; " but I cannot conceive why you
waste your time in writing pamphlets : it should seem as if such
squibs and rockets were scarcely worth the powder expended in
their manufacture." " It is very true," rejoined Fabricio : " and I
am well aware that none but the most vulgar gazers are caught by
such holiday fireworks ; however, this single one has escaped me,
and I must own that it is a child of necessity. Hunger, as you know,
will bring the wolf out of the forest."
"What!" exclaimed I, "is it the author of the 'Count of Sal-
dagna' who holds this language ? A man with an annuity of two
thousand crowns ?" " Gently, my friend," interrupted Nunez : " I
am no longer a pensioned poet. The affairs of the treasurer Don
Bertrand are all at sixes and sevens : he has been at the gaming-
table, and played with the public money : an extent has issued, and
my rent-charge is gone post haste to the devil." " That is a sad
affair," said I ; " but may not matters come round again in that quar-
ter ?" " No chance of it," answered he : " Signor Gomez del Ribero,
in plight as destitute as that of his poor bard, is sunk forever ; nor
can he, as they say, by any possible contrivance be set afloat again."
" In that case, my good friend," replied I, " we must look out for
some post which may make you amends for the loss of your an-
nuity." "I will ease your conscience on that score," said he:
" though you should offer me the wealth of the Indies as a salary in
one of your offices, I would reject the boon : clerkships are no object
to a partner in the firm of the Muses ; a literary berth or absolute
starvation for your humble servant I If you must have it plump, I
656 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
was born to live and die a poet, and the man whose destiny is hang-
ing will never be drowned,
" But do not suppose," continued he, "that we are altogether forlorn
and destitute : besides that we accommodate the requisites of inde-
pendence to our finances, we do not look far beyond .our noses in
calculating the average of our fortunes. It is insinuated that we
often dine with the most abstemious orders of the religious; but our
sanctity in this particular is too credulously imputed. There is not
one of my brother wits, without excepting the calculators of almanacs,
who has not a plate laid for him at some substantial table : for my
own part, I have the run of two good houses. To the master of one
I have dedicated a romance ; and he is the first commissioner of taxes
who was ever associated with the Muses : the other is a rich trades-
man in Madrid, whose lust is to get wits about him ; he is not nice
in his choice, and this town furnishes abundance to those who value
wit more by quantity than quality,"
" Then I no longer feel for you," said I to the poet of the Asturias,
" since you are satisfied in your condition. But be that as it may, I
assure you once more that you have a friend in Gil Bias, however
you may slight him ; if you want my purse, come and take it ; it will
not fail you at a pinch ; and you must not stand between me and my
sincere friendship."
"By that burst of sentiment," exclaimed Nunez, "I know and
thank my friend Santillane : in return, let me give you a salutary
caution. While my lord duke is in his meridian, and you are all in
all with him, reap, bind, and gather in your harvest : when the sun
sets, the gleaners are sent home." I asked Fabricio whether his sus-
picions were surely founded, and he returned me this answer: "My
information comes from an old knight of Calatrava, who pokes his
nose into secrets of all sorts ; his authority passes current at Madrid,
much as that of the Pythian news-mongers did through Greece ; and
thus his oracle was pronounced in my hearing: My lord duke has a
host of enemies in battle array against him ; he reckons too securely
upon his influence with the king ; for his majesty, as the report goes,
begins to take in hostile representations with patience," I thanked
Nunez for his friendly warning, but without much faith in his pre-
diction : my master's authority seemed rooted in the court, like the
tempest-scoflSng firmness of an oak in the native soil of the forest.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 657
CHAPTER VIII.
GIL BLAS FINDS THAT FABKICIO'S HIKT WAS NOT WITHOUT FOUNDA-
TION. THE KING'S JOURNEY TO SARAGOSSA.
THE poet of the Asturias was no bad politician. There was a
court plot against the duke, with the queen at the bottom ; but
their plans were too deeply laid to bubble at the surface. During
the space of a whole year, my simplicity was insensible to the brew-
ing of the tempest.
The revolt of the Catalans, with France at their back, and the ill
success of the war for their suppression, excited the murmurs of the
people, and whetted their tongues against government. A council
was held in the royal presence, and the Marquis de Grana, the em-
peror's ambassador, was specially requested to assist. The subject in
debate was whether the king should remain in Castille, or go and
take the command of his troops in Arragon. The minister spoke
first, and gave it as his opinion that his majesty should not quit the
seat of government. All the members 'supported his arguments,
with the exception of the Marquis de Grana, whose whole heart was
with the house of Austria, and the sentiments of his soul on the tip
of his tongue, after the homely honesty of his nation. He argued so
forcibly against the minister that the king embraced his opinion
from conviction, though contrary to the vote of council, and fixed
the day when he would set out for the army.
This was the first time that ever the sovereign had differed from
his favorite, and the latter considered it as an inexpiable affront.
Just as the minister was withdrawing to his closet, there to bite
upon the bridle, he espied me, called me in, and told me with much
discomposure what had passed' in debate. "Yes, Santillane,"
observed he, " the king, who for the last twenty years has spoken
only through my mouth and seen with my eyes, is now to be
wheedled over by Grana ; and that on the score of zeal for the house
of Austria, as if that German had a more Austrian soul in his body
than myself.
" Hence it is easy to perceive," continued the minister, " that there
is a strong party against me, with the queen at the head." " Heaven
forbid it 1" said I. " Has not the queen for upwards of twelve years
been accustomed to your paramount authority, and have you not
taught the king the knack of not consulting her? The desire of
making a campaign may for once have enlisted his majesty on the
side of the Marquis de Grana." " Say rather that the king," argued
my lord duke, " will be surrounded by his principal officers when in
42
658 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
camp ; and then the disaffected will find their opportunity for poi-
soning him against my administration. But they overreach them-
selves ; for I shall completely insulate the prince from all their ap-
proaches ;" and so he did, in a manner which, for example, deserves
not to be passed over.
The day of the king's departure having arrived, the monarch,
leaving the queen regent, proceeded for Saragossa by way of Aran-
juez — a delightful residence, where he whiled away three weeks.
Cuen^a was the next stage, where the minister detained him still
longer by a succession of amusements. A hunting party was
contrived at Molina in Arragon, and hence there was no choice
of road but to Saragossa. The army was near at hand, and
the king was preparing to review it; but his keeper sickened
him of the project by making him believe that he would be taken
by the French, who were in force in the neighborhood, so that
he was cowed by a groundless apprehension, and consented to
be a prisoner in his own court. The minister, from an affec-
tionate regard to his safety, secluded him from all approach ; so
that the principal nobility, who had equipped themselves at enor-
mous charges to be about his person, could not even procure an
occasional audience. Philip, weary of bad lodgings and worse re-
creation at Saragossa, and perhaps feeling himself scarcely his own
master, soon returned to Madrid. Thus ended the royal campaign,
and the care of maintaining the honor of the Spanish colors was left
to the Marquis de los Velez, commander-in-chief.
CHAPTER IX.
THE EEVOLUnON OF POBTXIGAL, AND DISGBACB OF THE FBIUE
MINISTER.
A FEW days after the king's return, an alarming report pre-
vailed at Madrid, that the Portuguese, considering the Cata-
lan revolt as»an opportunity offered them by fortune for throwing
off the Spanish yoke, had taken arms, and chosen the Duke of Bra-
ganza for their king, with a full determination of supporting him on
the throne. In this they conceived that they did not reckon with-
out their host, because Spain was then embroiled in Germany, Italy,
Flanders, and Catalonia. They could not, in fact, have hit upon
a crisis more favorable for their deliverance from so galling a yoke.
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 659
It was a strange circumstance that, while both court and city were
struck with consternation at the news, my lord duke attempted to
joke with the king, and make the Duke of Braganza his butt : Philip,
however, far from falling in with this ill-timed pleasantry, assumed
a serious air, of ill omen to the minister, who felt his seat to totter
under him. The queen was now his declared enemy, and openly
accused him of having caused the revolt of Portugal by his miscon-
duct. The nobility in general, and especially those who had been
at Saragossa, when they saw a cloud gathering about the minister,
joined the queen's party ;* but the decisive blow was the return of
the duchess dowager of Mantua from her government of Portugal to
Madrid, for she proved clearly to the king's conviction that the
counsels of his own cabinet produced the revolution.
His majesty, deeply impressed with what he had heard, was now
completely recovered from every symptom of partiality towards his
favorite. The minister, finding that his enemies were in possession
of the royal ear, wrote for permission to resign his employments
and retire from court, since all the political mischances of the time
were placed to his account. He expected this letter to produce a
wonderful effect, reckoning upon the prince's private friendship,
which could scarcely brook a. separation ; but his majesty's answer
undeceived him, by complying with his ostensible wish to withdraw.
Such a sentence of banishment in the king's own handwriting
came like a thunder-storm in harvest ; but though destruction to his
long-cherished hopes, he affected the serene look of constancy, and
asked me what I would do in his circumstances. " I would drive
befope the wind," said I ; " renounce the ungrateful court, and pass
the remainder of my days in peace on my own estate." "You
counsel wisely," replied my master, "and I shall set out for
Loeches, there to finish my career, after one more interview with
his majesty, for I could wish just to convince him that I have done
what man can do to support the heavy load of state upon my
shoulders, and that it was not within the compass of possibility to
prevent the unfortunate events which are imputed to me as a crime.
It were equally reasonable to charge the pilot with the wrecking
fury of the storm, and make him answerable for the uncontrolled
power of the elements." Thus did the minister inwardly flatter
himself that he could set things to rights again, aud once more fix
firm the seat which was shaking under him ; but he could not pro-
cure an audience, and was even commanded to resign his key of
private admission into his majesty's closet.
• " At length hia sovereign frowns— the train of state
Mark the keen glance, and watch the sign to hate."
Johnson's JmitaOon qfjwenatt Tenth SaHn,
660 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
This last requisition convinced him that th-ere was no hope, and
he now made up his mind in earnest for retirement. He looked
over his papers, and had the prudence to burn a good number ; he
then selected a small household for his retreat, and publicly
announced his departure for the next day. Apprehending insult
from the mob, if the time and manner of his setting out were i^ub-
lic, he escaped early in the morning through the kitchens out at the
back door, got into a shabby, hired carriage, with his confessor and
me, and reached in safety the road leading to Loeches, a village on
his own estate, where his countess had founded a magnificent con-
vent of Dominican nuns.
CHAPTEE X.
a difficult bttt stjccessfxtl weaning fkom the world. thb
minister's employments in his retreat.
MADAME D'OLIVAEEZ staid behind her husband some
few days, with the intention of trying what her tears and
entreaties might do towards his recall ; but in vain did she pros-
trate herself before their majesties; the king paid not the least
attention to her pleadings and remonstrances, though artfully
adapted for effect, and the queen, who hated her mortally, took a
savage pleasure in her tears. The minister's lady, however, was not
easily discouraged ; she stooped so low as to solicit their good offices
from the ladies of the bed-chamber ; but the fruit of all this mean-
ness was only the sad conviction that it excited more contempt than
pity. Heart-broken at having degraded herself by supplications so
humiliating and yet so unavailing, she departed to her husband,
and mourned with him the loss of a situation which, under a reign
like that of Philip the Fourth, was little short of sovereign power.
The accounts her ladyship brought from Madrid were wormwood
to the duke. " Your enemies," said she, sobbing, " with the Duke of
Medina Cell at their head, are loud in the king's praises for your
removal, and the people triumph in your disgrace with an insolent
joy, as if the cloud of adversity were to be dispelled by the breath
which dissolved your administration." " Madam," said my master,
" follow my example ; suppress your discontent ; we must drive
before the storm when we cannot weather it. I did think, indeed,
that my favor would only be eclipsed with the lamp of life — a com-
mon illusion of ministers and favorites, who forget that they
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 661
breathe but at the good pleasure of their sovereign. Was not the
Duke of Lerma as much mistaken as myself, though fondly relying
on his purple as a pledge for the lasting tenure of his authority ?"
Thus did my lord duke preach patience to the partner of his
cares, while his own bosom heaved under the direct pressure of
anxiety. The frequent despatches from Don Henry, who was stay-
ing about the court to pick up information, kept him continually on
the fret. Scipio was the messenger, for he was still about the per-
son of that young nobleman, though I had relinquished my post on
his marriage. Sometimes we heard of changes in the inferior de-
partments of office, solely for the purpose of wreaking vengeance on
his creatures, and filling up the vacancies with his enemies. Then
Don Lewis de Haro was represented as advancing in favor, and
likely to be made prime minister. But the most mortifying circum-
stance of all was the change in the viceroyalty of Naples, which was
taken from his friend the Duke de Medina de las Torres, and be-
stowed on the High Admiral of Castille, who was his bitterest
enemy. For this there was no other motive than the pleasure of
giving pain to a fallen favorite.
For the first three months, his lordship gave himself up in his
solitude a prey to disappointment and regret; but his confessor, a
holy and pious Dominican, supporting his religious zeal with manly
eloquence, succeeded in pouring the balm of consolation into his
soul. By continually representing to him, with apostolic energy,
that his eternal salvation was now the only object worth his care,
he weaned him gradually from the uses of this world. His excel-
lency was no longer panting for news from Madrid, but learning a
new and important lesson, how to die. Madame d'Olivarez, too,
making a virtue of necessity, sought refuge for herself in the mater-
nal guardianship of her convent, where Providence had reared up,
for her edification in foith and good works, a sisterhood of holy
maidens, whose spiritual discourses fed her soul, as if with manna
in the wilderness. My master's peace within his own bosom ad-
vanced as he gradually withdrew from sublunary things. The em-
ployment of his day was thus laid out almost the whole morning
was devoted to religious duties till dinner-time, and after dinner,
for about two hours, he played at different games with me and some
of his confidential domestics ; he then generally retired alone into
his closet till sunset, when he walked round his garden, or rode out
into the neighborhood either with his confessor or me.
One day when I was alone with him, and was particularly struck
with his apparent self-complacency, I took the liberty of congratu-
lating his lordship on his complete reconciliation to retirement.
" Use, however late acquired, is second nature," answered he ; " for
662 ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS.
though I have all my life been accustomed to the bustle of business,
I assure you that I become every day more and more attached to
this calm and peaceful mode of life."
CHAPTEE XI.
A CHANGE IN HIS LORDSHIP FOE THE WOBSE. THE MARVELLOUS CAtTSB
AND MELANCHOLY CONSEQUENCES OF HIS DEJECTION.
HIS excellency sometimes amused himself with gardening, by
way of variety. One day, as I was watching his progress, he
said, jokingly, "You see, Santillane, a fallen minister can turn
gardener at last." "Nature will prevail, my lord," answered I.
" You plant and water something useful at Loeches, while Diony-
sius of Syracuse whipped school-boys at Corinth " My master was
not displeased either with the comparison or the compliment.
We were all delighted at the castle to see our protector, rising
above the cloud of adversity, take pleasure in so novel a mode of
life; but we soon perceived an alarming change He became
gloomy, thoughtful, and melancholy. Our parties at play were all
given up, and no efforts could succeed to divert his mind. From
dinner-time till evening he never left Jiis closet. We thought the
dreams of vanished greatness had returned to break his rest ; and
in this opinion the reverend Dominican gave the rein to his elo-
quence ; but it could not outstrip the course of that hypochondriac
malady, which triumphed over all opposition
It seemed to me there was some deeper cause, which it behooved
a sincere friend to fathom. Taking advantage of our being alone
together, " My lord," said I, in a tone of mingled respect and affec-
tion, " whence is it that you are no longer so cheerful as heretofore ?
Has your philosophy lost ground ? or has the world recovered its
allurements? Surely you would not plunge again into that gulf
where your virtue must inevitably be shipwrecked I" " No, Heaven
be praised !" replied the minister; "my part at court has long faded
from my memory, and its trappings from my eyes." "Indeed ! why,
then," resumed I, " since you have strength enough to banish false
regrets, are you so weak as to indulge a melancholy which alarms
us all? What is the matter with you, my dear master?" continued
I, falling at his knees ; " some secret sorrow preys upon you ; can
you hide it from Santillane, whose zeal, discretion, and fidelity you
ADVENTURES OF GIL BIAS. 663
have 80 often experienced ? Why am I so unhappy as to have lost
your confidence ?"
" You still possess it," said his lordship ; " but I must own, it is
reluctantly that I shall reveal the subject of my distress ; yet the
importunities of such a friend are irresistible. To no one else could
I impart so singular a confidence. Yes, I am the prey of a morbid
melancholy which eats inwardly into my vitals : a spectre haunts
me every moment, arrayed in the most terrific form of preternatural
horror. In vain have I argued with myself that it is a vision of
the brain, an unreal mockery : its continual presentments blast my
sight, and unseat my reason. Though my understanding teaches
me that in looking on this spectre I stare at vacancy, my spirits are
too weak to derive comfort from the conviction. Thus much have
you extorted from me , now judge whether the cause of my melan-
choly is fit to be divulged."
With equal grief and astonishment did I listen to the strange
confession, which implied a total derangement of the nervous sys-
tem. " This, my lord," said I, " must proceed from injudicious absti-
nence," "So I thought at first," answered he; "and to try the
experiment, I have been eating more than usual for some days past ;
but it is all to no purpose , the phantom takes his stand as usual."
*' It will vanish," said I, " if your excellency will only divert your
mind by your accustomed relaxations with your household. Com-
pany and gentle occupation are the best remedies for these afiections
of the spirits "
In a short time after this conversation, his lordship became
seriously indisposed, and sent for two notaries from Madrid to make
his will. Three capital physicians followed in their track, who had
the reputation of curing their patients now and then. As soon as it
was noised about the castle that these last undertakers were arrived,
the case was given up for lost ; weeping and gnashing of teeth took
place universally, and the family mourning was ordered. They
brought with them their usual understrappers, an apothecary and
a surgeon.
Behind him sneaks
Another mortal, not unlike himself,
Of jargon full, with terms obscure o'ercharged,
Apothecary called, whose fetid hands
With power mechanic, and with charms arcane,
Apollo, god of medicine, has endued.
Bramston.
The notaries were suffered to earn their fee first, after which,
death's notaries prepared to take a bond of the patient. They
practiced in the school of Sangrado, and from their very first con-
sultation, ordered bleeding so frequently and freely that in six days
664 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
they brought his lordship to the point of death, and on the seventh
delivered him from the terror of his sprite.
After the minister's decease, a lively and sincere sorrow reigned
in the castle of Loeches. The whole household wept bitterly. Far
from deriving consolation from the certainty of being remembered
in his will, there was not a dependent who would not willingly
have saved his life by the sacrifice of the legacy. As for me, whom
he most delighted in, attached to him as I was from disinterested
friendship, my grief was more acute than that of the rest. I ques-
tion whether Antonia cost me more tears.
CHAPTER XII.
PROCEEDINGS AT THE CASTLE OF LOECHES AFTEK HIS LOEDSHIP'S DEATH.
THE COURSE WHICH SANTILLANE ADOPTED.
THE minister, according to his last injunctions, was buried
without pomp and without procession in the convent, with a
dirge of our lamentations. After the funeral, Madame d'Olivarez
called us together to hear the will read, with which the household
had good reason to be satisfied. Every one had a legacy propor-
tioned to his claim, and none less than two thousand crowns •.
mine was the largest, amounting to ten thousand pistoles, as a
mark of his singular regard, The hospitals were not forgotten,
and provision was made for annual commemoration in several
convents.
Madame d'Olivarez sent all tlie household to Madrid to receive
their legacies from Don Raymond Caporis, who had orders to pay
them • but I could not be of the party, in consequence of a violent
fever from distress of mind, which confined me to the castle for
more than a week. Uuring that time, the reverend Dominican paid
me all possible attention. He had conceived a friendship for me,
which was not confined to my worldly interests, and was anxious to
know how I meant to dispose of myself on my recovery. I answered
that I had not yet made up my mind upon the subject: there were
moments when my feelings strongly prompted towards a religious
vow. "Precious moments!" exclaimed the Dominican; "you will
do well to profit by them. I advise you as a friend to retire to our
convent at Madrid, for example, there to become a pious benefactor
by the free gift of your whole fortune, and to die in the livery of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 665
St. Dominic. Many very questionable Christians have made amends
for a life of sin by so holy an end."
In the actual disposition of my mind, this advice was not un-
palatable ; and I promised to reflect upon it. But on consulting
Scipio, who came to see me immediately after the monk, he treated
the very notion as the phantom of a distempered brain. "For
shame I" said he; "does not your estate at Lirias offer a more
eligible seclusion? If you were delighted with it formerly, the
charm will be increased tenfold, now that the lapse of years has
moderated your sense of pleasure, and softened down your taste to
the simple beauties of nature."
It was no difficult matter to operate a change in my inclinations.
" My friend," said I, " you carry it decidedly against the advocate
of St. Dominic. We will go back to Lirias as soon as I am well enough
to travel." This happened shortly ; for as the fever subsided, I soon
felt myself sufficiently strong to put my design in execution. We
went first to Madrid. The sight of that city gave me far other sen-
satione than heretofore. As I knew that almost its whole population
held in horror the memory of a minister of whom I cherished the
most affectionate remembrance, I could not feel at my ease within
its precincts. My stay was therefore limited to five or six days,
while Scipio was making the necessary arrangements for our rusti-
cation. In the meantime, I waited on Caporis, and received my
legacy in ready money. I likewise made my arrangements with
the receivers for the regular remittance of my pensions, and settled
all my affairs in due order.
The evening before our departure, I asked the son of Cosclina
whether he had received his farewell from Don Henry. " Yes,"
answered he, "we took leave of each other this morning with
mutual civility : he went so far as to express his regret that I should
quit him ; but however well satisfied he might be with me, I am by
no means so with him. Mutual content is like a river, which must
have its banks on either side. Besides, Don Henry makes but a
pitiful figure at court now; he has fallen into utter contempt;
people point at him with their finger in the streets, and call him a
Genoese bastard. Judge, then, for yourself, whether it is consistent
with my character to keep up the connection."
We left Madrid one morning at sunrise, and went for Cuen<}a.
The following was the order of our equipment : we two in a chaise
and pair, three mules, laden with baggage and money, led by two
grooms and two stout footmen, well armed, in the rear ; the grooms
wore sabres, and the postilion had a pair of pistols in his holsters.
As we were seven men in all, and six of us determined fellows, I took
the road gayly, without trembling for my legacy. In the villages
666 ADVENTVRES OF GIL BIAS.
through which we passed, our mules chimed their bells merrily, and
the peasants ran to their doors to see us pass, supposing it to be at
least the parade of some nobleman going to take possession of some
viceroyalty.
CHAPTER XIII.
THB KETTJBN OF GIL BLAS TO HIS SEAT. HIS JOY AT FINDING HIS
GODDAUGHTEE 8ERAPHINA MARRIAGEABLE.
WE were a fortnight on our journey to.Lirias, having no occa-
sion to make rapid stages. The sight of my own domain
brought melancholy thoughts into my mind, with the image of my
lost Antonia ; but better topics of reflection came to my aid, with a
full purpose to look at things on the brighter side, and the lapse of
two-and-twenty years, which had gradually impaired the force of
tender regret.
As soon as I entered the castle, Beatrice and her daughter greeted
me most cordially, while the family scene was interesting in the
extreme. When their mutual transports were over, I looked earn-
estly at my goddaughter, saying, " Can this be the Seraphina whom
I left in her cradle ? How tall and pretty ! We must make a good
match for her." " What I my dear godfather," cried my little girl,
with an enchanting blush, " you have but just seen me, and do you
want to get rid of me at once ?" " No, my lovely child," replied I,
" we hope not to lose you by marriage, but to find a husband for you
in the neighborhood."
" There is one ready to your hands," said Beatrice. " Seraphina
made a conquest one day at mass. Her suitor has declared his pas-
sion, and asked my consent. I told him that his acceptance de-
pended on her father and her godfather ; and here you are to deter-
mine for yourselves."
" What is the character of this village lordling ?" said Scipio. " Is
he not, like his fellows, the little tyrant of the soil, and insolent to
those who have no pedigree to boast ?" " The furthest from it in
the world," answered Beatrice; "the young man is gentle in his
temper and polished in his manners; handsome withal, and some-
what under thirty." "You paint him in flattering colors," said I
to Beatrice ; " what is his name ?" " Don Juan de Jutella," replied
Scipio's wife ; " it is not long since he came to his inheritance ; he
lives on his own estate, about a mile off, with a younger sister, of
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 667
whom he takes care." " I once knew something of his family,"
observed I ; "it is one of the best in Valencia." " I care less for
lineage," cried Scipio, " than for the qualities of the heart and
mind ; this Don Juan will exactly suit us, if he is a good sort of
man." " He is belied else," said Seraphina, with a blushing interest
in our conversation ; " the inhabitants of Lirias, who know him
well, say all the good of him you can conceive." I smiled at this ;
and her father, not less quick-sighted, saw plainly that her heart
had a share in the testimony of her tongue.
The gentleman soon heard of our arrival, and paid his respects to
us within two days. His address was pleasing and manly, so as to
prepossess us in his favor. He affected merely to welcome us home
as a neighbor. Our reception was such as not to discourage the
repetition of his visit; but not a word of Seraphina! When he
was gone, Beatrice asked us how we liked him. We could have no
objection to make, and gave it as our opinion that Seraphina could
not dispose of herself better.
The next day, Scipio and I returned the visit. We took a guide,
and luckily ; for otherwise it might have puzzled us to find the
place. It was not till our actual arrival that it was visible ; for the
mansion was situated at the foot of a mountain, in the middle of a
wood, whose lofty trees hid it from our view. There was an antique
and ruinous appearance about it, which spoke more for the descent
than the wealth of its proprietor. On our entrance, however, the
elegance of the interior arrangement made amends for the dilapi-
dated grandeur of the outer walls.
Don Juan received us in a handsome room, where he introduced
his sister Dorothea, a lady between nineteen and twenty years of
age. She was a good deal tricked out, as if she had primed and
loaded herself for conquest, in expectation of our visit. Thus pre-
senting all her charms in full force, she did by me much as Antonia
had done before ; but I managed my raptures so discreetly that even
Scipio had no suspicion. Our conversation turned, as on the pre-
ceding day, on the mutual pleasure of good neighborhood. Still he
did not open on the subject of Seraphina, nor did we attempt to
draw hira out. During our interview, I often cast a side glance at
Dorothea, though with all the reserve of delicate apprehension;
whenever our eyes met, the citadel of my heart was ready to sur-
render. To describe the object of my love justly, as well as feel-
ingly, her beauty was not of the most perfect kind ; her skin was
of a dazzling whiteness, and her lips united the color with the
fragrance of the rose; but her features were not so regular and well
proportioned as might have been wished ; yet, altogether, she won
my heart.
668 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS^
In short, I left the mansion of Jutella a different man from what
I was on entering it ; so that, returning to Lirias with my whole
soul absorbed in Dorothea, I saw and spoke only of her. " How is
this, master?" said Scipio with a look of astonishment; "you seem
to be very much taken with Don Juan's sister 1 Can you be in love
with her?" "Yes, my friend," answered I; "to my shame be it
spoken. Since the death of Antonia, how many lovely females
have passed in review before me with indifference ! and must my
passions be irresistibly kindled at this time of life?" "Indeed,
sir," replied the son of Cosclina, " you may bless your stars, instead
of squabbling with yourself: you are not so old as to make your
sacrifice at the shrine of love a by-word ; and time has not yet
ploughed such furrows on your brow as to render hopeless the desire
of pleasing. When you see Don Juan next, ask him boldly for his
sister : he cannot refuse her to you ; and besides, if his views in
her settlement are ambitious, how can he do better? You have a
patent of nobility in your pocket, and upon that your posterity may
ride easy ; after five generations, when pedigree herself shall be lost
in the confusion of her materials, it may exercise the diligence of
learned inquiry to trace the family of the Santillanes to the begin-
ning of its archives, and consecrate the fame of ita founder by the
indistinctness of his story."
CHAPTER XIV.
A DOUBLE MARRIAGE. CONCLUSION OF THE HISTORY.
BY this discourse, Scipio encouraged me to declare myself, with-
out considering how he exposed me to the danger of a refusal.
My own resolution was taken with fear and trembling. Though I
carried my years well, and might have sunk at least ten, it did not
seem unlikely that a young beauty might turn up her nose at the
disparity. I determined, however, to bolt the question the first time
I saw her brothei, who was not without his trepidations on the sub-
ject of my goddaughter.
He returned my call the next morning, just as I had done dress-
ing. " Signor de Santillane," said he, " I wish to speak with you on
some serious business." I took him into my closet, where entering
on the subject at once, "I imagine," continued he, "that you are
not unacquainted with the purpose of my visit. I love Seraphina ;
ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS. 669
you are all in all with her father ; I must request you, therefore, to
intercede and procure for me the accomplishment of my heart's de-
sire ; then shall I have to thank you for the prime bliss of my ex-
istence." " Signer Don Juan," answered I, " as you come to the
point at once, you can have no objection to my following your ex-
ample; My good offices are fully at your service, and I shall hope
for yours with your sister in return."
Don Juan was agreeably surprised. "Can it be possible," ex-
claimed he, " that Dorothea should have made a conquest of your
heart since yesterday?" " It is even so," said I, " and it would make
me the happiest of men if the proposal should meet with your joint
approbation." " You may rely on that," replied he ; " though with
some pretensions to family pride, yours is not an alliance to be de-
spised." " You flatter me highly," rejoined I ; " that you are not
mealy-mouthed about receiving a commoner into your pedigree is a
mark of good sense ; but even if nobility had been a necessary in-
gredient in your sister's requisites for a husband, we should not have
quarrelled on that account. I have worked out twenty years in the
trammels of office ; and the king, as a reward of my long labors, has
granted me a patent of nobility." This high-minded gentleman read
my credentials over with extreme satisfaction, and returning them,
told me that Dorothea was mine. " And Seraphina yours," ex-
claimed I.
Thus were the two marriages agreed on between us. The consent
of the intended brides was all that remained : for we neither of us
presumed to control the inclinations of our wards. My friend there-
fore carried home my proposal to his sister, and I called Scipio,
Beatrice, and my goddaughter together, for the purpose of laying
open a similar project. Beatrice voted loudly for immediate accept-
ance, and Seraphina silently. The father did not say much against
it, but boggled a little at the fortune he must give to a gentleman
whose seat required such immediate and extensive repairs. I stopped
Scipio's mouth by telling him that was my concern, and that I
should contribute four thousand pistoles to the architect's estimate.
In the evening, Don Juan came again. "Your business is going
swimmingly," said I ; " pray Heaven mine may promise as fairly."
" Better it cannot," answered he ; " my influence was quite unneces-
sary to prevail with Dorothea ; your person had made its impression,
and your manners pleased her. You were afraid she might not like
you ; while she, with more reason, having nothing to offer you but
her heart and hand." . . . "What would she offer more?" inter-
rupted I, out of my wits with joy. " Since the lovely Dorothea can
think of me without repugnance, I ask no more: my fortune is
ample, and the possession of her is the only dowry I should value."
670 ADVENTURES OF GIL BLAS.
Don Juan and myself, highly delighted at having brought our
views to bear so soon, were tor hastening our nuptials, and cutting
ofF all superfluous ceremonies. I closeted the gentleman with Sera-
phina's parents ; the settlements were soon agreed on, and he took
his leave, promising to return next day with Dorothea. My eager
desire of appearing agreeable in that lady's eyes occasioned me to
spend three hours at least in adjusting my dress, and communicating
the air of a lover to my person ; but I could not do it so much to my
mind as in my younger days. The preparations for courtship are a
pleasure to a young man, but a serious business and hazardous
speculation to one who is beginning to be oldish. And yet it turned
out better than my hopes or deserts ; for Don Juan's sister received
me so graciously as to put me in good humor with myself. I was
charmed with the turn of her mind, and foreboded that, with dis-
creet management and much deference, I might really get her to like
me as well as anybody else. Full of this sweet hope, I sent for the
lawyers to draw up the two contracts, and for the clergyman of
Paterna to bring us better acquainted with our mistresses.
Thus did I light the torch of Hymen for the second time, and it
did not burn blue with the brimstone of repentance. Dorothea, like
a virtuous wife, made a pleasure of her duty ; in gratitude for the
pains I took to anticipate all her wishes, she soon loved me as well
as if I had been younger. Don Juan and my goddaughter were most
enthusiastic in their mutual ardor ; and what was most unprece-
dented of all, the two sisters-in-law loved one another sincerely. Don
Juan was a man in whom all good qualities met; my esteem for him
increased daily, and he did not repay it with ingratitude. In short,
we were a happy and united family : we could scarcely bear the in-
terval of separation between evening and morning. Our time was
divided between Lirias and Jutella. His excellency's pistoles made
the old battlements to raise their heads again, and the castle to re-
sume its lordly port.
For these three years, reader, I have led a life of unmixed bliss
in this beloved society. To perfect my satisfaction. Heaven has
deigned to send me two smiling babes, whose education will be the
amusement of my declining years ; and if ever husband might ven-
ture to hazard so bold an hypothesis, I devoutly believe myself their
fathsr.
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